Family Documentary

Research

2012-01-25T10:29:00.002+08:00

There's one Venezuelan place in town. In the entire D.C. area, there is only one restaurant serving authentic Venezuelan food. I suppose I shouldn't be surprised. In fact, I should be glad that I live in a metro area which serves any Venezuelan food. It just comes as a bit of a shock - there are Chinese restaurants on every corner.

In celebration of Chinese New Year, and in celebration of Dave's birthday, and in celebration of a dinner which did not turn out nearly as well (or as early) as planned, our family quite spontaneously went out to dinner last night. Dave got to pick the place, and he's been itching to hit up La Caraquena since we learned about it. The chef is Venezuelan, and so are a large portion of the dishes. I kept saying that the time wasn't right. The girls needed to be in the right state of mind for this restaurant. We don't want them to leave dinner thinking that they don't like Venezuelan food. Dave argued that his birthday was the perfect moment, and so we went.

I am no food writer, so I won't make an attempt. Suffice it to say that Dave and I enjoyed everything. The menu was rather short, and Venezuelan only made up about half of the dishes. We ate only Venezuelan food - well, with chicken strips and french fries. Dave and I really enjoyed everything we ate. In fact, some things really surprised us. The girls loved a few things (plantains with cheese) and turned up their noses at others (rice and beans with spiced meat and fried eggs). Poor little Annika sat in a feverish daze, as she has been fighting something nasty all week.

Now we know that when food is available, it'll be tasty!

What We've Been Reading

2012-01-23T03:54:00.001+08:00

When we passed the one year mark, Dave and I began to focus on learning more about Venezuela. I mentioned earlier that we've picked up a few books by Gabriel Garcia Marquez, a nobel prie winning author from neighboring Colombia. His books still intimidate me, and few other titles show up when we search. However, I have discovered a few interesting journalists through Foreign Policy magazine. These tidbits fuel my belief that we will arrive in Venezuela at a very interesting time in their history.

Caracas or Bust was published on Jan 9 of this year, and writes about the relationship between Venezuela's Hugo Chavez and Iran's Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. It is my opinion that both men are a bit nuts, and that their meetings must just be crazy-making. They stand together as crazy men who hate America, which is not a particularly strong stance. Interesting, certainly.

But even more interesting was Peter Wilson's story from Jan 6 titled The Skyscraper Slums of Caracas. In the article, Wilson describes a stunning housing situation. In a country of nearly 28 million people, 8 million of those folks are homeless. Chavez has commandeered unfinished parking garages and office buildings to change into public housing, leaving the city without needed architecture and public works, and leaving far too many people living in unfinished parking garages... excuse me - temporary housing. The story is staggering, and the photojournalism of Inside David's Tower illustrates it strikingly.

My Venezuela library remains quite small, but my interest is growing rapidly.

Half a Life

2012-01-19T09:52:00.006+08:00

Little Annika is now 21 months old. This is significant because as of this month, she has lived in the United States for over half of her life. She was 10 months old when we left China, where she was born. Her citizenship is further solidified - at least for the time being - although her eligibility for the office of President of the United States is still a bit questionable (anyone recall the birther debates?)

This is particularly interesting to me because she is the only one of my kids to strike that mark so far. Lilly lived in the U.S. until she was 2 years old. She lived in China until she was 5 1/2 years old. She has been back for 11 months. That's nearly 3 years in the states, and almost 4 years in China. She should crack that mark while we're still living in Virginia.

Sophia moved to China when she was only 9 months old, and has lived her the same 11 months. At over 5 years old, her paltry 20 months in the states are a small fraction of her life. Interestingly, China will likely remain her longest home for a long time.

Q & A

2012-01-16T12:31:00.003+08:00

Scenario:
Macaroni and cheese is on sale for a fabulous price. I will be moving to a consumables post in less than 1 year.

Question:
How many boxes of macaroni and cheese can I buy without feeling silly?

Answer:
8. Eight is my limit. Nine boxes of macaroni and cheese would have just looked silly.

Planning Ahead

2012-01-14T12:21:00.004+08:00

So many little things remind me that our life with the Foreign Service will be different from our life before. We plan to arrive in Venezuela in December of this year - essentially one year away. Simply holding that knowledge provides a peaceful sense of stability that I haven't felt in years.

And the paperwork has already begun for our move. I've completed a housing questionnaire. I've told someone that I'd like to have a balcony and plenty of natural light. I've set a short commute as my highest priority, and given preference to the neighborhood within a gated community where we can safely go for walks and play on the playground.

This evening I filled out the CLO information sheet. The CLO is the Community Liason Office, and essentially runs the community center for the Embassy. Here's a better description, from the State Department's website:

The CLO is among the first points of contact for newly assigned or arriving employees and family members, and provides pre-arrival information, orientation, and assistance with settling in at post. CLOs identify the needs of their community and respond with effective programming, information, resources, and referrals. They serve as advocates for employees and family members, advise post management on quality of life issues, and recommend solutions and family-friendly post policies....
The CLO program is charged with building community spirit and enhancing morale at post. CLOs do not have official funding for morale/recreational events or programs and rely on self-supporting events or fundraising activities. CLOs depend on the volunteer efforts of employees and family members to share their time and their talents to address community needs.

They asked our names, ages and basic contact information. They asked about the capacities in which I would be willing to volunteer (I said yes to nearly everything). But they also asked some great stuff about the girls - favorite activities and hobbies, favorite foods, favorite colors. These leave me somewhat encouraged that we will get a warm welcome when we arrive.

Don't worry - my expectations are not set too high. And honestly, someone meeting us at the airport with a box of cookies would be a step up from our greeting in Shanghai. But rumor has it that the employees and families living within the Embassy communities tend to provide a welcoming community, and this little info sheet certainly adds some weight to the rumors.

Adjusting

2012-01-12T12:09:00.001+08:00

Let's be frank.

Its fun being rich.

More than that, though. I mean, being rich certainly is fun when you choose to do things like travel internationally on a monthly basis, or try new restaurants every few days. But separate from being fun, it is simply pleasant. When you have more money than you need, you are able to weigh all of your options and choose the one you like the best. Therefore, you end up living somewhere you love and eating food that matches both your values and your taste and health preferences.

The adjustment from rich to not rich has been challenging.

Dave's salary dropped dramatically in April. And then we started paying for housing in June. Not only have we been absent that line on our budget for the past 4 years, but we also began paying for that housing in the greater D.C. area. According to Kiplinger's 10 U.S. Cities With the Highest Cost of Living, Washington, D.C. rings up at #7. Housing eats up over half of our monthly income.

Preschool is expensive. Travel to the Midwest is expensive. Groceries are surprisingly expensive. You know all of this - its certainly true in your household as well. And after a few months of it, we had gotten it figured out. By December, our household operated off of a tight but beautifully functional budget. We did not draw out of savings, and we felt good about our frugality and self-control.

But January got messy again. Insurance costs went up, as did our contribution to our medical savings plan. We chose to begin tithing out of our monthly budget. And we began to look ahead to our time in Venezuela.

Because of the frequent shortages off of the grocery shelves there, we are allowed what is called a Consumables Shipment. That means that part of our household shipment to our new post will include weight for groceries. We will bring along shampoo and chocolate chips - much like we did in China. But we'll also bring along flour and diced tomatoes and olive oil. So, in a sense, we will have the opportunity to do 2 years of grocery shopping at the end of this calendar year.

For a number of reasons, most of which I don't really know, most things cost more money in Venezuela than they do in the U.S. So we would be wise to bring along anything we know we will want while we're there. Suggestions are things like clothes and shoes for the kids; decorations and wrapping paper for all holidays; books; birthday presents. All of these things would need to be purchased by the end of this calendar year.

So Dave and I have spent the last week or so poring over our savings, our retirement contribution, and our monthly budget, tweaking things here and moving this over to there. Making changes and making plans. We believe we have made it work, but its going to be tight.

A year ago, if I told you that I couldn't afford something, what I really meant was The price I would pay for that is more than its value to me.
For the next year, if I tell you that I can't afford something, what I really mean is If I pay for that, I won't be able to buy groceries by the end of this year.

I've gotta tell you - it was really pleasant being rich.

Rearranging

2012-01-11T03:55:00.003+08:00

We've lived in this house for 7 months now, and we have nearly another 12 months before we will leave for the next home. We have felt fully settled in for quite some time now, and it is too early to begin planning the next move. So maybe we got a little tired of the status quo.

This past weekend we spent rearranging our house. All three girls now sleep in the same room - on the occasion of Annika turning 21 months old. They are each thrilled with the new set-up, and so Dave and I are pleased as well. Annika's former nursery has received our futon and the girl's desk. It has become a small den, with space to fold out the futon for guests. This is good news for anyone planning to visit us over the next few months - previous to this change, you would have been sleeping on the sun porch.

The project for this weekend is to rearrange the basement. That includes getting rid of most of our baby stuff - something I have struggled with in the past. It also includes setting up an art space with an old table handed down from a friend.

The sunroom (former guest room) has become one of the loveliest sheds you will ever see. The light is beautiful in there, and it is so comfortable on a nice day - but the bikes and the roller skates and the plant food all need their space, too.

The S* Word

2012-01-02T14:30:00.000+08:00

Warning: This post contains adult language.

We drove nearly 11 hours yesterday. Dave spent most of that time in the driver's seat. We spent a fair portion of that time driving through near blizzard conditions. Dave became frustrated. At one point, Dave said:

I hate this stupid shit.

A twin gasp came from the backseat, where Lilly and Sophia were seated.

Daddy! You said the S word!

Dave prepared to apologize for his speech, when Sophia very gravely said to him,

Daddy, you really shouldn't say the S word. Stupid is a very mean word.

The Christmas Letter

2011-12-15T23:09:00.003+08:00

Whenever I do Christmas cards, I always include a reference to our blog. In years past, its been an easy way to catch everyone up on our lives. The blog was always full and up to date, and folks could read as little or as much as they wanted, to learn as little or as much as they wanted about our comings and goings, and my mental state.

But this year, at this Christmas, our comings and goings have slowed and my mental state is pretty stable. The blog has been sitting empty these past few months, as there has been little of note occuring in our now typical American lives. So, I suppose I ought to take a moment to sum up the year for you.

At the beginning of 2012, we lived in Shenzhen - a port city across the bay from Hong Kong, in the south of China. Dave worked about an hour away from home, and traveled out of the country for weeks at a time. On this project, he spent time in Abu Dhabi, Morocco and the Philippines. He enjoyed the new places, but the time away from home was long and difficult for all of us.

Chinese New Year hit in February this year, and we decided to spend it quietly at home. Dave's travel had been enough for all of us, and a week together in our house sounded perfect. We took a day to explore Hong Kong Disneyland, a simple taxi ride and border crossing away from our home. On that day, Dave received the invitation to join the United States Foreign Service.

We left China in March, and our family moved into a serviced apartment in Northern Virginia in April. Dave was going through a 6 week training course to begin his career as a diplomat. In May, Dave learned his first post. His colleagues are in Cape Verde, Nigeria, India and more. Dave is at the State Department building in Washington, DC. We settled into our own house with our own things in June.

The first half of our year was a tumultuous whirlwind, and the second half has gone by so smoothly. Lilly has turned 6 years old. She is at her third school of the year, where she's enjoying the 1st grade.
Sophia has turned 5 years old. She is at her second school of the year, and loving Montessori School. Annika turned 1, and then 19 months, and enjoys her sisters and their friends. Lilly and Sophia and I chatter quite a lot, so little Annika has felt no need to talk yet. Lilly and Sophia has made lots of friends this year, and transitioned exceptionally well through all of their changes. I'm looking forward to their staying relatively stable for the next year, until our next scheduled move.

In December of 2012, our family will move to Venezuela where Dave will work the visa line as a consular officer in the Caracas Embassy. We hear that the schools there are fabulous, and so we're looking forward to another comfortable home. We also hear that the crime rates are ridiculous, with murders and express kidnappings alarmingly commonplace, so we're feeling a little nervous. We also hear that grocery stores frequently lack basic staples, like milk and toilet paper, so we're feeling the need to be well prepared upon arrival.

But Venezuela feels far away right now. This season, we've filled our house with Christmas decorations and the smell of cookies baking. We marvel at the Christmas decorations everywhere we go, and we're loving how festive the whole city feels. We're soaking in the Advent story every night and the teachings and worship from a fabulous church. We're excited about driving to spend Christmas with family - who we've seen multiple times this year already, and who we expect to visit with more in 2012. We're resting in America this year, and feeling surrounded by God's blessings.

The Difference

2011-12-13T13:26:00.000+08:00

We’ve lived in Northern Virginia for 9 months now. Wehave moved 4 times over the last 4 years, and by 9 months we have been so wellsettled that I felt fully at home where we lived. In fact, by 10 months I was beginning to plan my next move,so 9 months may have been the most settled at each home so far. Living abroad, a girl makes fastfriends. Much like summer camp,everyone needs friends right away and we bond quickly. It’s a very friendly and exciting way to live, and builds mysocial confidence tremendously. Abroad, I’m likely to begin a conversation with someone in line at thegrocery store and invite them to my home by the time I’m checking out. In the states, I’m not likely to givemore than a passing smile to the person near me in line - possibly I’ll accepta compliment on my cute baby, but nothing more substantial.

I’veenjoyed making so many friends abroad, but I rarely make friends that I expectto be in touch with more than a year later. My Christmas card list remains static each year, becausepeople add quickly, but people fall away quickly as well. It’s the nature of a life whereeveryone leaves at a moment’s notice.

Sohere, I’ve been struck by the difference. I’ve joined a Bible Study at my church. I liked most of the ladies in the group when I first began,but I left a bit disappointed. Ididn’t feel like we were sharing much with each other. I didn’t feel like I was getting toknow them very well. I wasn’treally making friends at the beginning. Its only now, after being in the same group for 4 months, that I’mbeginning to build relationships with some of the ladies. And I feel this happening in otherplaces, too. Another mom atschool, with whom I’ve chatted casually every day, we’ve begun to make plansfor the weekend. Relationships areslowly beginning to build. And I’mrealizing that this is how it works. Friendships don’t usually happen so quickly - they build upon sharedexperience, upon shared history, upon shared interest, upon honestly enjoyingeach other’s company. I love theerasure of these things abroad - I don’t choose my friends, and I don’t judgemy friends harshly. But I’menjoying the natural of these things here. I have things in common with my friends here, and I can sitand talk about any number of things with them.

Itmakes part of me wish that we could stay here long-term. I was nervous about living on the EastCoast - how could it be as friendly as the Midwest? But Virginia takes it cues from the South, and I have foundit to be a very warm and welcoming community. I would enjoy the chance to build relationships with thewomen I’m getting to know. I’m sadto realize that the moms at school will follow each others kids through thenext few years of school, and that the ladies at church could remain in thesame Bible Study through the next few cycles.

Ilove the lifestyle that we have chosen, and I love the joy of meeting newpeople and building those relationships regularly. But this month, I’m hungering for more. I’m hungering for those relationshipsthat build slowly and over a much longer period of time, because they build tobe so much taller. And I’mthankful for the relationships I still have with friends from high school. I love that these people have been myfriends for over twenty years. They know where I’ve been, what I’ve struggled with, how well I’vesucceeded, and they can spell the names of all of my kids. I’ve got that history with them - but Ionly see them once a year. Isuppose the grass will always be greener somewhere else.

Nearing the Countdown

2011-12-13T13:23:00.001+08:00

Closefriends will leave in a few weeks. He went through A-100 with Dave. While Dave was posted to D.C. first, our friend was posted to theEmbassy in Cape Verde. While Davebegan working straight away, our friend continued in school and completes his Portugesestudies with a test on Friday afternoon. His household has already been packed up and shipped off to Africa. They have arranged their planetickets. They have their blackpassports and their shots. Theyhave an arrival date for him, places for the family to stay while they wait forhim to prepare their housing, and the first day of school has been arranged fortheir kids.

Inwalking with them through this adventure, it occurs to me that I will followtheir trajectory one year later. At this point, we expect Dave to arrive in Venezuela at the end ofDecember next year. That puts usat very nearly one year away from our departure, and the end of thisseason. This date seems ratherabstract to me - a year is an awfully long time.

Correspondencefrom the Caracas Embassy has made me realize that its closer than I think. We received some wonderfulcorrespondence from the CLO at the Embassy. In the Foreign Service, the CLO is the Community LiaisonOfficer. The CLO is not a ForeignService Officer, but I believe he or she is generally the spouse of anofficer. Her job is to be the liasonbetween the community and the embassy - this is an important job in a lifestylewhere Dave’s employer will control most of our life. Uncle H-- never provided any such liaison, and Imust admit to looking forward to having such a contact person. She sent a fabulous letter beginning toprepare us for the next season in our lives.

Venezuelais a consumables post. That meansthat we have a budget for shipping in any grocery items that we may need, up toa certain weight. The CLO shared thatVenezuela experiences frequent shortages on staples like milk and papertowels. Apparently they have loadsof wonderful fresh fruit, but no lemons and no berries. Apparently nearly everything is muchmore expensive there than here, and so she advised us to take full advantage ofour consumables allocation. Such awonderful benefit - no more lugging chocolate chips and salsa in my luggageevery time I travel back from the states! But a crazy benefit as well. How do I determine how much flour I use over a 2 year period? What about how much honey or chickenstock? My ultra-organized brainwants to set up a spreadsheet, and track all grocery purchases over this yearto know what we use annually. Mymother brain knows that I would never keep up with it.

Wehave also received our Housing Questionnaire. Each American embassy manages some sort of a housingpool. In Venezuela, the housingpool is made up of high-rise apartments near the embassy. Assignment of these apartments is by rank,family size, seniority, and luck of arrival. But to avoid some of that luck, all 2012 new arrivals are asked to complete a Housing Questionnaire and return it within the next few days. We are expecting a 3-bedroom apartment,and hoping that its near the school and the embassy. Commute time is generally the highestpriority in our household, and I’m excited that the embassy and the school are near each other.

Wedon’t have an arrival date set yet, although I imagine we will soon. We don’t know yet whether or not Davewill arrive before the girls and I, although we may know soon. Many things are still abstract, and thecurrent goals are still primarily to study Spanish and to build up our kitchenand our spring and summer wardrobes. But a deadline will be coming.

Getting To Work

2011-12-13T13:19:00.001+08:00

Livingsomeplace temporarily always give a different outlook. Every good idea either begins or endswith “before we leave.” We did apretty good job of checking some of those off of our list. We’ve already been to the beach and toColonial Williamsburg. We’ve begunchecking off the museums of the Smithsonian, and we’ve eaten loads of burgersand milkshakes. We’ve begun tostock our kitchen with wonderfully useful, long-lasting kitchen tools, althoughthat list seems to grow faster than it shrinks. We’ve begun the dirty work as well.

Ihave begun a relationship with an Ear, Nose and Throat doctor. After facing sinus infections abroad,where I had little trust for my doctors and even less trust for my prescribedmedication, I decided to seek a better answer to the problem. I’ve been referred to a SpeechPathologist (rather interesting) and to an Allergy Nurse so far, and am on myfifth dose of antibiotics for the calendar year. My understanding is that each Embassy employs a nurse oreven a doctor to serve the Embassy community, and that many people feelcomfortable using them as their family doctor. I am looking forward to the rest that will come from havingour medical professional provided when we arrive, but I’m taking advantage ofspecialists while we’re here.

Thegirls are taking advantage as well. Little Annika has been to a Speech Therapist and anAudiologist, as she has not begun speaking yet. Although we spend a lot of time running around meetingappointments and making them fit into everyone’s schedules, I am thankful to besurrounded by such a wealth of medical professionals. Dave and I have been to a psychologist for advice on raisingour kids, after some serious behavior issues have arisen in our household. We figured that discipline issues arebest addressed when the kids are young. But also, that this connection may be valuable in the years to come,with all of the stress we have planned for our girls.

Also,Lilly and I have begun studying Spanish. She takes an after-school class twice a week. I work on Rosetta Stone whenever I can snatch half anhour. My goal for Lilly is that she gain enough vocabulary to recognizes snatches of words andphrases once we arrive, giving her the confidence to learn more. My goal for myself is to build myvocabulary and a bit of an ear for the language through this school year. Once Sophia begins kindergarten in thefall, my schedule will open up considerably and I hope to begin a moreintensive Spanish course that last semester here.

Itis my goal for everyone in our family to speak Spanish by the time we leaveVenezuela. Annika will have notrouble - I hope she can attend a bilingual school when she is readyfor preschool, and I plan to have her spend some time with our Spanish speakingayi during the day. I hope thatLilly and Sophia can build a relationship with ayi as well, and I expect theywill have Spanish in school every day. For myself, I hope to have enough language to get by when I arrive. If I never train myself to work inEnglish there, my language skills will build quickly.

The work has begun, but within a season of rest and plenty. The goal is just to be diligent.

Adrenaline Junkie

2011-12-13T13:10:00.000+08:00

Imay have become an adrenaline junkie. As compared to the chaoticintensity of the past few years of my life, the relative calm of the past fewmonths is making me crazy. Coupled with some real behavior problems andfar too many minutes spent in the car with a cranky baby, I think I may belosing my mind. After a rough bedtime this evening, I grabbed my computerand walked straight out of the house. Only once I had pulled onto the highwaydid I realize that I have no idea what's open for computer-starers andheadphone-wearers at 9:00 at night in my part of town. The best I couldfind was a Barnes & Noble in Clarendon. It doesn't make me feel anymore interesting or adventurous, but it gets me out of the house, listening tomy own music, and thinking my own thoughts until they close in an hour.

Actually,quite a few wheels have been set in motion within our household lately, and Ihave a number of half-written posts jostling around in my mind. Myorganizational tendencies beg me to sit here and write a few different blogpostings, keeping my thoughts need and tidy. Lets just see if thathappens. But to run with the current theme, I must admit that now that wehave settled into a quiet life in the suburbs, I'm getting awfully bored. We haven't traveled for longer than a day since summer, and my feet arebeginning to itch. We live just close enough to the city to make mehungry for it, but just far enough away that I don't know which restaurants toexplore or which places are kid-friendly. I don't know which bars orcoffee shops are open at 9pm on a Monday night. It seems that I amitching for some major stress to arise, bring on another adrenaline rush, andmake me start running again.

Dear Santa Claus

2011-12-07T02:11:00.001+08:00

I've inadvertently recycled both of their letters to Santa this year. But I think they were particularly fabulous this year, so posterity (and all of our friends and family) can view them digitally.

From Sophia:

Dear Santa,
I think that I'm only kind of nice. Santa, I wish I get a good present. I want a new puppy dog, some flowers, a teapot set, the stuff to be a witch (a real witch). I want to know how to plant flowers. I would like some Christmas placemats. I want some more music cause I like to dance. Christmas music, and Chinese music, and hopping music. I want some drawing things like a box of markers with a bag of paper.

From Lilly:

Dear Santa.
I have been pretty good. What I want for Christmas is a scooter, a basket for my bike, my own flashlight, clothing for my Lovey Bear, a new easel, a new real puppy, I want a fun zuh zuh pet town set. I am going to put out cookies and milk for you. And carrots for your reindeer.

Thankful

2011-11-25T11:09:00.001+08:00

Today is Thanksgiving. Today I am thankful for my wonderful husband, and for my badly behaved children. Badly behaved as they may be, they're also brilliant and beautiful and very sweet and I love them very much.

Today I am also thankful to be in America. I feel kinda corny writing that, but this forum is for honesty, so there you go. We've spent the last few Thanksgivings in China, and there is something special about gathering together with other Americans to create our own, warm corner of America anywhere in the world. But there's something pretty great about being in America for Thanksgiving - where everyone has the day off, the neighborhood smells like dried leaves and all of the fixings are readily available (and even on sale!).
We took full advantage, and created a feast worthy of many more people than sat at the table. Especially because by the time our feast reached the table, the girls had lost most of their appetites. Still, Dave and I enjoyed it... and will be enjoying the leftovers for another week or so, at least.

And today, celebrating a small and quiet version of the traditional American Thanksgiving, it makes me aware of how differently my children's lives will be from mine. My childhood memories of Thanksgiving are generally the same. My mom made the meal, which we ate at our home with my grandparents coming over to share. I would be upstairs in my room making some sort of decorations - place cards, pilgrim hats, or teepee centerpieces. My mom made the same stuffing every year, and the same pumpkin pie. The holiday was about three things - eating the same, fabulous, home-cooked menu every year; celebrating our blessings; and being together with family.

What will this look like for my kids? The menu will likely change year to year, partly due to availability of different foods in different places, but partly because we will often join potlucks and share traditions from loads of different families. We can still celebrate our blessings, but what else will my kids associate with Thanksgiving when they're grown?

No doubt things change, and my childhood Thanksgivings looked dramatically different from those of my parents as well. For now, I am happy to relax with a glass of wine, a full belly and a refrigerator loaded with leftovers. I am thankful for all that we have.

Dave's job

2011-11-18T03:27:00.001+08:00

So, you know that Dave is a Foreign Service Officer. You know that he is currently posted in D.C.. You may know that he works in the Main building of the State Department, just down the hall from the Secretary. You may also know that he works in the Department for Democracy, Human Rights and Labor - rather oddly abbreviated as DRL. You may even know that he narrows that focus to China. But if you want a prettier version of what he does, take a read of President Obama's speech before Australia's parliament this morning.

Now, lets be realistic. You all read that speech on your own time. But maybe you didn't notice where he mentioned Dave. Here it is:

And this brings me to the final area where we are leading -- our support for the fundamental rights of every human being. Every nation will chart its own course. Yet it is also true that certain rights are universal; among them, freedom of speech, freedom of the press, freedom of assembly, freedom of religion, and the freedom of citizens to choose their own leaders.
These are not American rights, or Australian rights, or Western rights. These are human rights. They stir in every soul, as we’ve seen in the democracies that have succeeded here in Asia. Other models have been tried and they have failed -- fascism and communism, rule by one man and rule by committee. And they failed for the same simple reason: They ignore the ultimate source of power and legitimacy -- the will of the people. Yes, democracy can be messy and rough -- I understand you mix it up quite well during Question Time. (Laughter.) But whatever our differences of party or of ideology, we know in our democracies we are blessed with the greatest form of government ever known to man.
So as two great democracies, we speak up for those freedoms when they are threatened. We partner with emerging democracies, like Indonesia, to help strengthen the institutions upon which good governance depends. We encourage open government, because democracies depend on an informed and active citizenry. We help strengthen civil societies, because they empower our citizens to hold their governments accountable. And we advance the rights of all people -- women, minorities and indigenous cultures -- because when societies harness the potential of all their citizens, these societies are more successful, they are more prosperous and they are more just.
These principles have guided our approach to Burma, with a combination of sanctions and engagement. And today, Aung San Suu Kyi is free from house arrest. Some political prisoners have been released, and the government has begun a dialogue. Still, violations of human rights persist. So we will continue to speak clearly about the steps that must be taken for the government of Burma to have a better relationship with the United States.
This is the future we seek in the Asia Pacific -- security, prosperity and dignity for all. That’s what we stand for. That’s who we are. That’s the future we will pursue, in partnership with allies and friends, and with every element of American power. So let there be no doubt: In the Asia Pacific in the 21st century, the United States of America is all in.
...This is the story of the alliance we celebrate today. This is the essence of America’s leadership; it is the essence of our partnership. This is the work we will carry on together, for the security and prosperity and dignity of all people.

What We've Been Reading

2011-11-16T10:54:00.001+08:00

With Venezuela only 13 months away, I've been scanning the bookshelves for new reading material. However, Venezuela does not make the newspapers, NPR or the best seller lists nearly as often as China does. That could certainly change over the next 3 years, but right now the picking is pretty slim.

I did start off with a classic, though. The Lost World was written by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle in 1912. The book is fabulous - an adventure tale of British gentlemen in the early 1900s. I enjoyed so many things about the novel, one of them being the chance to get inside the heads and mindsets of the explorers, back when exploring meant forgoing safety and your possible return just to see what was out there. The setting of Doyle's lost world is said to be inside of Venezuela. Interestingly, parts of Venezuela are still said to be relatively untouched. I doubt there is much fact in the novel, but it is a wonderful read and does paint an exciting and exquisite picture of the physical place we will be living.

However, I couldn't find much else. I do have a short reading list, but I am open to all suggestions as well. Until then, I have broadened the category to include Colombia as well. Colombia and Venezuela share both a border and a history. Simon Bolivar is history's great man for both nations. Also, a prolific and Nobel prize winning author writes from and about Columbia. "Believed by many to be one of the world’s greatest writers, Gabriel García Márquez is a Colombian-born author and journalist, winner of the 1982 Nobel Prize for Literature and a pioneer of the Latin American 'Boom.'" I'm guessing that the here referenced boom is in Spanish language literature - and although I am working through Rosetta Stone's Latina American Spanish program, I'm not yet reading great works of literature. However, Márquez has been translated into English and one of his books now sits on my bedside table.

I admit to being a little intimidated. The General in His Labyrinth been sitting there for a while. Currently, it sits behind World War Z, a much lighter and far less intimidating book. But now that I've posted this, I'm sure I'll read the Nobel Prize winning author next.

Settling In

2011-11-03T11:40:00.002+08:00

How I planned to spend my Saturday:

Oiling the patio table and moving it to the basement;
Raking and mowing the lawn;
Cleaning the outside toys and moving them to the basement;
Picking the last of the vegetables and cleaning the vestiges of our summer garden.

I'm sure we could have added much more to that list, given the right day. But we were not given the right day. We were given this day, our last day of October:

So, Dave took the minivan and helped a friend move. The rest of us stayed home, and got stuff done for a while. As soon as they could see snow on the ground, which did take quite a while, both Lilly and Sophia insisted that they go out to play in it. Just as they pulled on their boots, their neighbor friend knocked on the door asking them to play in the snow. When I looked out the window, a small crew of children was playing in the front yard.

I love snow.

And I love this neighborhood.

The landlord may be crap, and the house may be imperfect, but the neighborhood makes the whole thing worthwhile. We live in a great school district - a neighborhood where people buy for the zip code and for the schools. Plenty of people buy one of the 1950s era houses and tear them down, building much bigger and much more expensive homes on these already pricey lots. But our block has escaped that. A few homeowners have added on to their houses, and a few homeowners seem happy with things the way they area. And I think the reason I like this neighborhood so much is that I like that kind of people - the folks who live close to the city, choose the good schools, but live happily in just enough space. The small house folks, where the television is relegated to the basement, the bikes are better protected than the car, and the kids play outside because its just too crowded in the house.

We like it so much that we wanted to stay here. Not stay here stay here, like some of you people may think when I say "stay here." Not, like, live here for the next 5 years or anything. Goodness no. But we decided it would be perfect to buy a house here. To buy this house, should the landlord want to sell. Even better - to buy the next door neighbor's house. They do want to sell, and their house is nearly identical to ours. Plus, they have this great climbing tree in the front yard.

The more we thought about it, the more we wanted to do it. That way, every time we come back to DC, we'll come back to the same house, the same neighbors, and the same schools. That much more stability for our kids, and a source of rental income while we're out of the country.

We tried every which way to make it work, but we simply can not afford to buy in this neighborhood. These houses are crazy expensive - even the small ones! And although it would be comforting to buy a house right now, it is also freeing to decide not to. We looked at our goals, and we only plan to spend about 3 of the next 16 years living inside the United States. That's pretty exciting. We looked at our finances, and we'd rather invest in college, retirement, and a few rooms to spend our summers in the Midwest.

Its crummy not to buy a house. It would be lovely to invest in this neighborhood. But its nice to make a decision, to have some long-term goals, and not to have to worry about replacing furnaces or gutters anytime soon. And by soon I mean within the next 20 years.

Sophia Says

2011-10-27T05:49:00.001+08:00

So, that last post was a bit heavy. But Sophia said something lovely this morning as well. Today is Diwali and her teacher celebrates Diwali, and so she met us wearing a lovely sari. When Sophia saw her, she told me that her teacher looks beautiful. When Ms Teacher opened the car door, Sophia told her that she looks like an Indian princess.

When I was 4 years old, an Indian princess looked like the cartoon character from Peter Pan with a feather poking out of her hair.

I love that this is what my 4 year old imagines an Indian princess looks like.

Missing Grace

2011-10-27T05:46:00.002+08:00

A favorite game for my children is to pretend that their parents are dead. I take this as a compliment, that we have made our girls feel so confident and safe that being orphaned seems like pure fiction. So this morning on the way to school, it came as no surprise when Sophia told me I wish I didn't have a mom. I told her that if I were not her mom, I would miss her very much.

And at that moment it struck me - that is how I feel about Grace.

Grace is what we would have named the orphan from China who we planned to adopt. We waited years for her, although we were never matched to her. She would have joined our family within the next 9 months, but we decided to stop the adoption procedure this summer.

I insinuated to Sophia that even if she had never been born, I would still love her. Even though Grace will never join our family, I still love her. And sometimes my heart hurts because I miss her.

The Landlord

2011-10-25T02:32:00.001+08:00

When I signed the lease for this house, I got a rude shock. The realtor who managed the transaction told me never to call. I should not call him with a problem. I should not call the landlord with a problem. Surprised, I said, What if something needs repair? Nope. That's your responsibility. Okay, but what if the toilet explodes in the middle of the night. Then I would need to call her, right? Nope. That's your responsibility. But, if a tree falls on the house and tears a hole in the roof? Yeah, then you should probably call her.

Silly me. I took his word for it. Just last night, I sat down to reread the lease and learn exactly our responsibility. Contractually, our landlord is responsible for all appliances as well as for general maintenance of the house. I have no idea what the manager was talking about when he discouraged me from calling.

But that he gave me bad advice a few months ago did not keep said landlord from lecturing me this afternoon. The washing machine stopped working Tuesday night last week, with a pool of water on the floor around it. I called the landlord first thing Wednesday morning. She finally made it out for a peek this afternoon - Monday. She lectured me for not explaining more clearly; for not calling earlier; for not attempting to solve it myself; for not cleaning it up on my own; for not installing something to stop the problem. She explained to me how the fuse box works; how the shower head works; how I ought to think for myself.

I owned my own house for 6 years in St. Louis, as well as managing rental property that I also owned down the street. We still own the rental property in St. Louis, and rely on managers (aka my parents) to keep it in good condition. I have become fairly savvy about property maintenance.

We rented the last 3.5 years in China - 4 different properties and 4 different leases. We had problems with bugs. We had problems with washing machines. We had mold. And each time, I hated working with the landlord, largely because they all seemed to believe me an idiot. Fair enough - I did not speak their local language. Americans are guilty of the same thinking far too often. But knowing that the landlord looked down on me drove me nuts.

Sadly, none of those problems were unique to China. In the few months we've lived in this house in Virginia, we have had bugs, mold, and a faulty washing machine. The washing machine seemed worthy of a call to the landlord, as the lease has a specific clause making all appliances her responsibility. Using Midwestern English, she talked down to me the whole time. Apparently it has little to do with language issues - maybe landlords just think tenants are idiots.

So now I know that I am supposed to notify her immediately of any problems. I also hope not to have anymore problems, because contact with her is no fun.

But more generally, I am reminded that my life abroad was not as foreign as I thought. I enjoyed complaining about the bad service I got in China, and how difficult it could be to communicate simple problems. Clearly, bad service is global and communication can be difficult within the same language. Our next move will make the United States government our landlord, or at least our property manager. As I ought not complain about that landlord in this forum, I had best set bad landlords as my standard, and see myself pleasantly surprised at how well I am treated in Venezuela.

Venezuela-fy

2011-10-19T10:22:00.002+08:00

Word is that Caracas is not only ripe territory for murders, but that carjackings are fairly common as well. My understanding is that the point of the car jacking is to steal the car. At first, we planned to leave our 2011 Honda Odyssey back in the states. A brand new car must scream money, right? Surely we would be a target for carjackers. Apparently not, actually. When the goal is to obtain the car, then the car must be desirable. In Venezuela, as in most of the United States, a mini-van is not seen as a desirable car. Apparently, we'll be fine.

Still, the shiny new car was making me nervous. It may have Cheerios ground into the seats and names written on the walls in crayon, but it still shines on the outside.

And so yesterday, I began the process of Venezuela-fying our car. I accidentally scratched a car as I pulled out of Lilly's school parking out. In my defense, that car was parked surprisingly (and illegally) close to the corner. Still, I felt a little silly. I immediately parked, walked back to the car to inspect the scratch, and decided it was worth a note. In the time it took me to write the note, the illegal parker had driven away. I am off the hook for Venezuela-fying their car. And as I began to feel guilty about our car, it dawned on me the luck. It would be awfully difficult to intentionally scratch up our car, making it look less desirable and making us look less rich. But if I can accidentally do it a number of times over the next year, we'll be that much safer!

Career Goals

2011-10-12T10:37:00.001+08:00

I sat down to write a business plan a few days ago. I've been playing with this photography thing long enough. I decided that its time to take that step away from practicing amateur to full-on professional. I began putting together what I would need to build my dream studio, and what my life would look like once I'd built it.

Here's the trouble. I didn't like it.

The dream studio would be amazing, but very difficult to control. I could use our sun room in this house, but what could I use in Venezuela? The State Department guarantees us housing for our family, but not necessarily but a traveling home business. Am I willing to sacrifice our largest bedroom for this?

The timing seems good. This would be an evenings and weekends job, which means that our kids will generally have a parent available to them. But should I succeed, then I won't have much of my husband available to me. Or any spare time - those evenings are kept pretty busy right now, and we really enjoy those weekends. Am I willing to sacrifice our family time for this?

The future looks good. As long as we're traveling, we'll be landing in small and changing communities of foreigners. A talented photographer to take family and children's portraits will always have some level of demand. But once we land back in the states, do I want to retire from children's photography?

This is when I realized that although photography is loads of fun, and although its exciting to feel a real talent and the willingness to nurture that talent, it doesn't make it any easier to sleep at night. When I go back to work, I want it to be something I truly care about; more than simply something I enjoy.

So, I'll carry my camera everywhere I go. And if you'd like pictures of your kids, please let me know. I'd love to take them for you - I may even allow you to pay me for them. But as far as my career goes, I'm going to switch back to social worker as soon as my mothering schedule allows.

Exploring America: Colonial Williamsburg

2011-10-11T10:20:00.000+08:00

Sophia took most of the photos at Colonial Williamsburg. The girls really enjoyed the day there, and Dave enjoyed it more than he thought he would. The weather was amazing, and plenty of kid-friendly games were available outside. They also loved the hedge maze. But goodness sakes, after walking all day through this lovely little town, all three of our children were exhausted!

Check this one out: Sophia asked to take my picture. Dave stood next to me, so he leaned in for the photo. She cut him out!

Exploring America: The Virginia State Fair

2011-10-11T10:15:00.001+08:00

The State Fair happened rather spontaneously. On the way to Williamsburg, we passed the turn-off for the state fair. We had no idea that the fair was going on this weekend. None of us had ever been to a state fair, and it seemed that our time in America wouldn't be complete without one!

Now, the Virginia State Fair is no Iowa, but there was still some excitement. For instance, we witnessed the birthing of the calf on the left!

Lilly and I enjoyed a ride on the ferris wheel,

and we all enjoyed plenty of corn dogs, funnel cakes and root beer.

Exploring America: Farm Festivals

2011-10-11T10:10:00.002+08:00

exploring the corn maze

buried in the corn box

jumping in the pile of hay

Exploring America: Hiking in Southern Maryland

2011-10-11T10:06:00.001+08:00

Exploring America: Southern Maryland and the Potomac

2011-10-11T10:04:00.003+08:00

Exploring America in October

2011-10-11T10:02:00.003+08:00

Rather by happenstance, this is the month for exploring. I suppose its more than just coincidence - we've all fallen into our schedules and become comfortable in our home, our schools and our work. We have routines, which makes it easier to break out of them. Plus, the weather is fantastic! So, we've enjoyed a lot of family time this month. And with visitors and more scheduled for the rest of the month, it promises to stay good!

And I'll admit - I've really missed fall. I'm fully enjoying it this year, as I know that I won't have it again once we go to Venezuela. We'll be eating plenty of fresh apples and raking piles of leaves in the front yard.

For this month, I'll just offer quick photojournalism for each destination. In keeping with my privacy habit, no photos of little girls' faces. So, some places have more photos than others. But even without our smiling faces, I think you'll be able to tell how much fun we're having!

**n.b. - Those who know me well and want photos with faces, check out my Photography page on Facebook.

Moving Right Along

2011-09-29T08:46:00.003+08:00

Life in Virginia has fallen into a manageable rhythm. Our mornings go quickly, our afternoons go drowsily, and our evenings are busy until that last lamp switches off by 8:30. Lilly likes her teacher; Annika loves her music class; Sophia is in the right place at school.

True, I didn't say that Sophia loves it. Her transition back to school has been the smoothest this fall, because although her school made some significant capital changes, she still returned to the same place with some of the same people. She returned to a routine which was already familiar and her behavior has been better these past few weeks than over the summer.

Her engagement at school is another matter, though. Our Sophia may be a bit of a trouble child. She often chooses not to engage in classroom activities, will ignore other children when they speak to her, and holds grudges against anyone and anything. In short, she acts at school exactly as she acts at home.

Yesterday, I demanded the time of one of her teachers. She fit me in during the day (awfully helpful for a classroom teacher), and she talked about our Sophia for nearly an hour. I left that office feeling two things. First, that Sophia has some skills she really needs to learn this year, her last year in preschool. But second, that she is absolutely in the right place. With a 15-30 minute commute one-way to her school, I often question whether I should have changed her school once we found our housing. But the permanence seems to have settled her, and her teachers are fantastic. They are truly working with me as a team to bring this amazing, smart and mature little girl to true functionality within a group setting.

God is good.

Loving the Library

2011-09-21T09:47:00.000+08:00

I've lived in America for the vast majority of my life, and so settled quite easily back into the routines and motions of life in the United States. But small things do still catch me. I am caught off guard by things like the high cost of buying or renting a movie; or surprised by the commercials during children's programming. Small things make me happy, too. I realized that I haven't had fall in years, and my kids have never celebrated Halloween in the states. This season has been a treat.

But I've got to say that the best surprise has been the library. We've packed away most of the kids' many books, because they're bringing home 20 new books a week from the library. This saves us so much money! I loved the library all summer, just because of the juvenile section - which, by the way, makes up half of our local branch library. But then I finished the books sitting on my bedside table, and began seeking reading materials for myself. Goodness sakes - this place is a goldmine!

I gave up libraries while in high school. I read slowly, and didn't actually keep up with my assigned reading. So when I checked out books from the library, I inevitably kept them longer than allowed and racked up quite a pile of fines. So many, in fact, that they asked me not to borrow anymore books from their library. So I didn't.

College went the same way - so much assigned reading that very few novels entered the mix.

After college, I found bookstores. Those were fun, because they had coffee shops and stayed open late and you could spend loads of money and feel good about yourself. Dave has said that books are his favorite decoration, and we dreamed of a house with bookshelves lining the walls. We bought a lot of books, and that was fun.

Then we lived in China, and took whatever we could get. I'd ask visitors to leave behind their books. I'd trade with friends. I'd stock up at Christmas. I'd frequent the used book shelves at the community center.

And then we came to the states, and I found the library. At first, it was just kinda neat. I could grab a book for free and always have something to read. Then I discovered the "Hold" function. I can log onto my library's website and tell the computer what books I heard about on the radio, or had recommended to me by friends. Magic fairies search for said book, find it, bring it to my library, and leave it neatly behind the desk with my name written on a piece of white paper. Screw my Amazon Wish List - this is so much better!

In just under a year and a half, I will go back to stocking up and borrowing books. Until then, I'm loving my local library.

A Cheerful Giver

2011-09-19T05:52:00.002+08:00

Lilly has been missing some money for the last few weeks - I made change; she helped manage a lemonade stand; the tooth fairy visited twice. In cleaning up this afternoon, I got all of her money into her piggy bank. She noticed when she walked by.

Wow! There's a lot of money in my piggy bank! I'd better give some to the church next week!

What a good kid.

Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood

2011-09-17T04:35:00.002+08:00

The landlord may suck, and the rent may be far too high, but we have otherwise landed quite well. Accepting that we do not live in our dream house, the girls and I have decided that we do live in a dream neighborhood.

The folks on the right have a tremendous magnolia tree - not only loaded with flowers and gorgeous leaves, but also laden with strong branches and easy to climb. The owners of the tree have no children, but welcome all of the neighborhood kids climbing and building in their tree. Lilly has helped him with yard work, and names him as one of her friends.

The folks on the left have three kids, two of whom spend more time outside than in. They play on pogo sticks, bikes, wagons, scooters and more, and they've done much of the construction in the magnolia tree.

Across the street is a family with two young kids and one teenagers. We hoped that the teenager would want to mow our lawn, but we're beginning to realize that kids don't mow lawns in Arlington. Hispanics mow lawns in Arlington. Hispanics and Dave. But their younger kids spend a lot of time on our side of the street, and in the tree.

The best, though, lives two doors down. That address holds another Foreign Service Family. Betty and Emmy just arrived from Burma, and they're new kids in their classes this year, too. Emmy is another 1st grader, and she and Lilly quickly became fast friends.

Amazingly, each family sends their kids to a different school, which adds an interesting dynamic to the street as well. But they all play together, and they all play outside. Its an idyllic neighborhood, where I can send out my kids after school and expect to hear the front door slam behind their again at about dinnertime. I believe that the next door neighbors call their kids in with a dinnerbell.

Lilly says she's the only kid in her class lucky enough to have friends living right next door, and right next door again. Lilly has changed schools and houses at least once a year for most of her life - if anyone knows how lucky we are, its her.

Game Changer

2011-09-14T10:47:00.003+08:00

The upshot of The Morning Race is that it keeps me awake. Bolting about from one stop to the next, always arriving just a few minutes late, running those last few steps to lessen the impact keeps me from falling asleep on any of those long drives. Its go! go! go! until Sophia sits in the backseat of the car telling me about her morning. Then I should face a peaceful afternoon - pleasant conversation on the way home, simple lunch, and then a nap.

Anyone who has visited me over the last 5 years will be quite familiar with Quiet Time. Quiet Time has taken place in our house at exactly 2:00pm for years. The girls go to separate rooms and make no noise. I have some peace and quiet - a chance to think, to prepare dinner, or to grab a quick nap. An hour or two of much needed Quiet.

This habit is so engrained in me that even on vacations without my children, I still myself growing drowsy at 2:15.

Little Annika is the Game Changer.

During all of those frisky morning drives, she dozes. When we get home, she feels perky. She remains perky until around 3:00 - only 20 minutes before we need to leave the house again to pick up Lilly. We're struggling through getting her enough sleep right now. So far, we have provided her a teenager approach, which includes very short naps during the week and a nice, long nap on the weekend. This seems rather unhealthy, so we're still tweaking it.

But the real problem is the disappearance of Quiet Time. I haven't paid my bills in weeks! I barely manage to clean the dishes before I need them again. I shouldn't really be napping anymore!

I'm beginning to miss having an ayi.

Enjoying America: Visiting a Farm

2011-09-12T11:50:00.003+08:00

We went berry picking this weekend. After a week of torrential rain, the sky went blue and the breeze went cool and we spent an amazing morning at a local farm.

Little Annika - only 16 months old - needed no instructions on berry picking. We set her walking through the rows of raspberry bushes, and she headed straight toward the bright red fruit. Picked it, ate it, and kept herself quite happy.

The girls did eventually tire of picking berries, and spent the rest of their morning running around the fields and then exploring the market at the front of the farm. We left with our car full of tired little girls and very fresh produce, and have spent the last two days putting all of those fruits and vegetables into storage.

We saved bags of frozen green beans, ready to steam or throw into a soup. We saved bags of frozen peaches, measured for dropping into cobblers and pies. We saved bags of frozen raspberries, measured for making crisp.

And we are in the process of saving a big box full of canning tomatoes. We are freezing homemade pizza sauce, homemade pasta sauce and homemade salsa. Although with all of the good smells going in our kitchen, its tough to lock the food away so quickly!

Still on the to do list - make the bushel of apples into applesauce, and make the fresh cream into vanilla ice cream. We already made the peach ice-cream. Fresh cream and fresh peaches - amazing! We already did the math - we've more than gotten our money's worth out of our trip (especially appreciated during these tight budget days). And it'll all taste so good! We're sold on the local farm, and plan to become seasonal visitors.

Enjoying America: Labor Day

2011-09-12T11:41:00.002+08:00

It was a week ago now, but we did enjoy a typical American Labor Day. Everyone in the family slept late. We had friends over to BBQ for lunch. We attended another BBQ for dinner. And then we nervously went to bed for the first day of school.

At the beginning of the day on Labor Day, Lilly asked me why we don't usually celebrate Labor Day. At first, I interpreted the question incorrectly. I began thinking about celebrations, and how two barbeques didn't seem to constitute much of one. I began to compare to fireworks and gifts and decorations and such.

And then I realized the simple root of her question.

Lilly, we have never celebrated Labor Day before because it is not a holiday in China. As far as my girls can remember, this was their first Labor Day. And yes, it was very happy.

Deluge

2011-09-10T02:55:00.002+08:00

Rather impressively, those natural disasters just keep coming. We had the earthquake, the hurricane, and the camping disaster about two weeks ago. This week, we have experienced a deluge of rain, and another deluge of ants. I like rain, but I must say that neither has been particularly pleasant.

The rain began on Labor Day afternoon. Actually, I must give Mother Nature some credit for being polite. She did allow us most of our Labor Day weekend - we ate outside for nearly every meal, and the Monday night was the only one where we got wet. And now this Friday afternoon, the sun has begun to shine in time for the weekend.

So, the rain began on Monday afternoon, and did not quit until sometime after lunch today. No joke - it did not quit at all. Sometimes it would rain less and sometimes it would rain more, but it did not ever stop raining this entire week. We live on top of a hill, and so we have seen no flooding, but our front yard is a spongy mess and plenty of places in the area have. Rivers have crested and overflowed their banks all around us. So many roads became impassable that many area schools were canceled for the day.

The rain makes the house a bit smelly. It makes my hair a bit crazy. And it really makes me wish for a garage - I've gotten soaked plenty of times, trying to carry a baby and a bag of groceries from the car to the front door.

But the ants are what really drive me crazy. They seem to have begun around the same time, and brought progressively more friends each day. The first few days, I killed all of them that I saw, laid chili sauce at their front door, and saw no more for the rest of the day. Today I woke up to a flood of them.

These pictures show steady streams of ants, but they fail to convey the itchy feeling that comes from finding them everywhere - crawling out of the stove burners, showing up on the side of your drinking glass, walking over the baby's plate, climbing up my leg. Ick! I've invested in some ant hotels, but these ants don't seem interested. They've taken over the kitchen and laid siege on the dining room. We've retreated to the family room, and the coming sunshine may allow us to lay claim to the back deck for our meals. Hopefully, the ant hotels will prove to be the final weapon - and we can return as weary refugees to our ant-ridden kitchen.

The Race

2011-09-07T02:44:00.000+08:00

I hate to admit it, but I was looking forward to school starting this year. I was looking forward to joining a routine again, and having some time to myself. How quickly I forget what the school year actually looks like. This morning, we began the race which will continue until next June.

Lilly and Sophia both start school at 9:00am. Their schools are 20 minutes apart.

Sophia finishes school at noon.

Within this small window, I try to fit in an hour and a half at the gym and an errand of some sort. This morning, the errand was running home to take a quick shower.

Annika fell asleep on the way home from school - a good 15 minute nap. She's supposed to take a 2 hour nap in the afternoon, which I've only just put her down for now - at 2:45. But I need to get her up again by 3:15 so that we can walk over to Lilly's school for afternoon pick-up. And today, that walk will be in the rain.

I'm not particularly downtrodden about the day - the girls seem happy enough, so I'm happy enough. Well, poor Annika is not very happy, stuck up in her crib even though she's not tired. But I am becoming fully aware that this school year will bring me little, if any, time to myself.

What a Week!

2011-08-31T08:45:00.000+08:00

Our Midwestern month has come to an end, and we are back in the unseasonably cool weather of the East Coast. It was a wonderful month, full of time with family and friends. But the last week stands out with 3 rather jarring events.

Yes, Dave felt the earthquake.

The girls and I were still in Chicago, when we received a call from the United States government. Dave called from his office phone to tell us he was alright, before we even realized what had happened. Apparently the first few seconds were scary - when the State Department begins shaking, the first thought is a bomb rather than an earthquake. Looking out the window, he said he could see a retaining wall moving like waves on the ocean - after that, everyone calmed down and enjoyed the ride. The pictures on our walls were crooked when I got home, but no other damage.

We just missed Hurricane Irene.

We missed it by a few hours. We left Chicago on Saturday morning, camped outside Cleveland on Saturday night, and drove the rest of the way on Sunday. Apparently power went out throughout most of Northern Virginia around 9pm on Saturday night and was restored to our area by Sunday morning. When we drove through on Sunday afternoon, we had to search to find evidence of the storm. Our house fared just fine - even the beachball and inflatable pool we had left in the backyard.

But we did succumb to a nasty stomach bug. While camping.

It was ugly. I started feeling queasy before dinner. I limited myself to chicken soup and bread, but still felt queasy after dinner. I chalked it up to the junk food we'd been eating for the last few days. By 10:00 or so, I could no longer blame the food. And by midnight, I had lost most of the contents of my body. The nearest bathroom was a 5 minute walk away from our beautifully isolated campsite - and didn't flush.

It hit Lilly around 1:30am, before it even woke her up - leaving a disgusting mess all over her sleeping bag, the tent, and her hair. Poor child. She stood shaking in the chilly night air, nightshirt peeled off, while I tried to rinse her hair from a water bottle.

By 3:00am we had cleaned up, broken down the tent, and moved to a nearby hotel. Dave held it together until the girls were snug in bed, and then it hit him. He and Lilly were up every hour or so for the rest of the night.

He seems to have recovered by Sunday evening. Lilly still has very little energy, and I'm also a bit off. Luckily, Sophia missed it entirely.

But it has rather put me off of camping for a while.

The World's Most Dangerous Cities

2011-08-16T11:45:00.000+08:00

So, I was feeling all bad about myself because we're going to Caracas, Venezuela, with the reputation of being the most dangerous city in the world. Then I started to think, well, I lived in St. Louis - right there in the ghetto of St. Louis. And I kinda liked it, so... Then I'd back up and say, of course, St. Louis is no Caracas.

Well, take a look at this...

Google this phrase: "most dangerous cities in the world 2011" and you'll find a surprising number of top ten lists. Go to the first one - http://UrbanTitan.com/10-most-dangerous-cities-in-the-world-in-2011/

Here's a quick summary of their top ten list:

10 - Muzafarrabad, Kashmir, Pakistan
9 - Santo Domingo, Dominican Republic
8 - Grozny, Chechnya, Russia
7 - Port Moresby, Papua New Guinea
6 - Caracas, Venezuela (not even in the top 5!)
5 - Mogadishu, Somalia
4 - Port-au-Prince, Haiti
3 - St. Louis, Missouri
Wait, did you see that?

Here's some of the details that the Urban Titans provide:

According to a latest study analyzing cities based on their FBI statistics for murder, rape, robbery, and assault, St. Louis top the list of the most dangerous city in America, beating Camden, Detroit and New Orleans, last year’s most dangerous cities. After first being pronaunced ‘America’s Most Dangerous City’ in 2006 and coming in second place in 2009, St. Louis has once again reached the top. St. Louis had 2,070.1 violent crimes per 100,000 residents, compared with a national average of 429.4.

Other lists name Detroit instead of St. Louis, but Caracas makes the list every time. In fact, according to some blogger named laikepo, Caracas is the most dangerous city in the world. Laikepo sourced Nacho Celebrity for this data, and Nacho Celebrity didn't provide a source, but sounds pretty credible, at least by his moniker.

MostDangerousCities.org says that "Caracas has one of the highest murder per capita rates in the world (between 130-160 per 100,000)". I was going to compare that to St. Louis' 2,070 violent crimes per 100,000, but its kind of apples to oranges, isn't it?

Anyway, the message to take away from this is that living in Caracas may compare well to living in the worst parts of St. Louis. And as that's where we choose to live, when actually given the choice, I don't think we have much room to complain.

And don't you love how I have access to all of the data in the State Department's library on living conditions in Caracas, Venezuela and instead I quote a top ten list on Nacho Celebrity's blog?

Prepared

2011-08-15T12:51:00.000+08:00

I returned today from a lovely weekend away.

While living in Shanghai, I was blessed to be a part of a truly amazing group of women. The group morphed over the two years I belonged, but the women were consistently amazing. It was a weekly Bible Study, where we worked through Beth Moore's Living Beyond Yourself, and her A Woman's Heart. Some other time I'll tell you how great I think Beth Moore is. Today I'm telling you about me, and about these women - who studied with me, challenged me, prayed with me and simply met with me every week. Three of us met in Ohio this past weekend, and it was a beautiful few days. In commemoration of our studies, we attended one of Beth's Living Proof Live events.

Her theme was PREPARE. I'm not going to take you through the weekend, or her 9 points. But after listening to a great speaker, worshipping with 7,000 other women and a strong worship team, and just relaxing and talking with three amazing women, I solidified a few things for myself.

I am in a time of rest right now. The move to Arlington has been difficult, and June was a particularly hard month. But we've found a few blessedly good communities - Sophia's school, our church, our neighborhood - and I trust we will begin this year strong, upon our arrival home in a few weeks. Strong, and without much stress. Life is challenging - we're on a tight budget, and I do not want to live beyond our means, or to sacrifice good food. Also challenging simply managing the schedules of 5 people in suburban America, and all of the car time that entails for Annika and I. But still, I inherently understand the systems around me and I am able to communicate freely with most of the people I meet. This is a time of rest.

I have become particularly committed to this time of rest over the last week or so, as a few wonderful options have arisen. I have the opportunity to teach music classes on Saturdays, a paid and enjoyable position. I have the opportunity to volunteer for a significant State Department project which would likely bring me into direct contact with the Secretary of State. I have a fabulous book idea, and have been connected to some great publishing contacts. I feel excited about each of these opportunities. Like, really excited.

And I have said no to each one. I am committed to this time of rest. Not that driving all over Northern Virginia and baking my own bread is particularly restful. Just that each of these things are inescapable, and life will quickly become exhausting and unpleasant if I add on any negotiables. This season is exclusively for the non-negotiables.

Here are the only extra-curriculars I am allowing on my plate:
- Bible Study: Our church hosts women's Bible Study on Thursday mornings. I have a feeling it'll be nothing like my groups in China, but its a commitment my soul and my social side need.
- Spanish: I would really like to arrive in Venezuela with a long list of vocabulary, ready to begin speaking poorly and then begin in earnest with a tutor. I plan to speak Spanish well by the time we leave Venezuela. As a State Department family, I have access to Rosetta Stone and plan to begin earnest study with that as soon as I am able.
- Blogging: As much a release and a journal for me as a gratifying way to stay in touch with folks I have known, and to share information with folks I don't know. I haven't written as much as I'd like over the past few months, and I want to see my posts increase again.

I feel prepared going into this season, planning not to oversubscribe and to take only a few projects quite seriously. I hope this will leave me well prepared both spiritually and verbally when we leave this place of rest, and arrive in Venezuela 18 months from now.

Disappearing Act

2011-08-09T13:18:00.000+08:00

When I didn't post very much back in May and June, it's because I was overwhelmed and kinda depressed. I won't be posting much this month, either, but for different reasons. The girls and I have been spending August in the Midwest. I am enjoying late nights, catching up with friends, and loads of time with family. The girls are enjoying the sights of St. Louis, the plastic pool in Nana's backyard, and loads of attention and help from grown-ups who love them.

I am not enjoying much time alone, or moments to compose an interesting blogpost. So, let's call this my vacation - from caring for my kids alone, from cooking and grocery shopping, and from forming a few paragraphs of coherent thoughts.

Coming Turmoil

2011-08-02T08:44:00.000+08:00

When Dave was first hired into the Foreign Service, the idea of evacuation filled me with fear. I'd hear stories and they'd make me want to cry - not that the storyteller cried, just that I felt such fear. With the vision of life in Caracas now settling into my mind, evacuation actually provides me some comfort.

We've switched from watching China in the news, to picking up stories on Venezuela instead. And current events on Venezuela these days are always stories about Hugo Chavez. The leader of Venezuela is a clear megalomaniac, but is also a cancer patient with no clear successors groomed to follow him. Many leaders have already promised turmoil should their opposition take leadership, and the military promises not to support elections which bring the opposition into power. This kinda scares me, except that I know we'll be evacuated if we're in real danger.

Another excitement tidbit about Venezuela is its affinity for earthquakes. Venezuela is apparently in an earthquake zone, has had some minor earthquakes recently, and is due for a doozy any year now. I doubt their apartment buildings and office complexes are as shoddily built as those in China, although the possibility certainly exists. No, the bigger problem is that many of the buildings in Caracas are apparently shanty towns, of a sort. Should an earthquake hit, the majority of the population would lose their housing, and I've read that Caracas' emergency infrastructure would be overwhelmed. Scary, except that I know we'll be evacuated if we're in real danger.

Unfortunately, the danger of gun violence and frequent robbery will not be cause for evacuation. I am curious what our life will look like, in the face of such danger. At this point, I'm guessing that we'll frequent places which are safe - home, school, the embassy, and a few markets and stores. And my guess is that we'll become claustrophobic quickly - although our life these days basically circles around work, home and school anyway, so maybe we're well suited for a post such as this.

The New Travel

2011-08-01T12:23:00.000+08:00

We left home at 2:00pm on Friday afternoon. We arrived in Chicago at 5:30pm on Saturday afternoon. This was a shorter total travel time than from China - although by the calendar, it took much longer. The flight from Shanghai to Chicago only clocks in at 30 minutes. Driving and flying both have their advantages and disadvantages, but we arrived full of energy and happy to be here.

But here's the really exciting part - no jet lag! A night sleeping on the ground, followed by a day in the car screwed up everyone's systems enough to completely annihilate the difference one puny hour would make in our appetites and sleeping habits. Everyone is on track - after only one night!

And it only gets more exciting. The time difference between Caracas and the Midwest is 30 minutes. Weird, right? And awesome. We will not face jet lag for the next 4 years! Man oh man, what rest that brings to my soul.

The Budget Update

2011-07-29T01:19:00.000+08:00

I'm standing by groceries by my assertion that groceries are expensive. And I don't feel bad for struggling through the budget adjustments. But I have come to realize that I've got more room that I thought. A good friend sent along some tips, and a peek into her budget. She feeds and bathes her family or 5 - remarkably similar to ours in age - off of a fireman's salary, and a $600 monthly consumables budget. I am inspired.

Here are some of my plans for decreasing our budget:

- Cutting out alcohol; parties at our house will be BYOB for the next year or two.
- Cutting out organics; children in our house will not die any earlier if they eat pesticides for the near future;
- Making use of what's in the house when planning meals; and
- Eating out cheaper and less frequently; weekend outings will include sack lunches, and fun evenings out will be to Baskin-Robbins ice-cream instead of to BGR burgers and milkshakes.

They're pretty simple steps, so I know we can do it. When we decided to take this job, I was kind of looking forward to living off of a budget and making more fiscally responsible choices. Its good. But I'll admit - now I'm looking forward to living in Venezuela, making more money with less expenses, and not worrying quite so much about the budget.

The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

2011-07-25T04:06:00.000+08:00

As you can imagine, I've been rather obsessively googling Caracas and Venezuela for the last few days. I'm pulling together bits and pieces, and here's what I've got so far:

The Good:
Apparently, the place is beautiful. Caracas nestles up against rows of green mountains, which abut the ocean, making Venezuela the country with the longest Caribbean coastline.

The school seems unreservedly good. Probably not perfect, but I have yet to see a bad review of the place. It seems that they foster community and have a truly international spirit with an American curriculum.

The commute will be amazing. The Embassy, our housing, and the school each rest within 2km of each other.

The city of the eternal summer has nightime lows in the 70s and daytime highs in the 80s, all year long. The rainy season brings humidity, and the dry season clears all that out - but that's the only real change in the weather.

The list goes on: fantastic fresh fruits are available year-round; access is easy to the islands of the Carribean; the interior of the country includes amazing and still wild wonders like Angel Falls and the Amazon rainforest.

The Bad:
Apparently, the environment within the embassy could be better. Allow me to choose diplomatic language - for the work environment, this is generally no one's favorite post. However, word on the street is that new management is arriving soon and plans to turn morale around.

Dave's work will be purely consular, and the language of Venezuela is Spanish. He's not so excited about working the visa line for two years; and he would prefer to invest in French or Portugese, in a language which prepares him for a career in Africa rather than in the Western Hemisphere. I expect these attitudes to improve once he begins the work, but he's not feeling excited yet.

Housing is all apartments, so there'll be no running outside to play or meeting at the playground. Security concerns keep everyone rather confined. This makes the good school close by particularly valuable.

The Ugly:
Caracas apparently holds the world record for number of annual homicides per capita. It may also hold the world record for number of annual homicides, forgetting about the capitas. It beat out Baghdad four-fold a few years ago and it doubles Mexico with its drug cartels and sizable land mass. A politically charged environment with under-funded police and a vast rich-poor divide fueled by an oil boom has left a country with loads of folks wielding guns. Carjackings, muggings, kidnappings and murder are all far too common in Caracas.

My comfort is that the most violent and the most frequent of these offenses occur inside a few awful neighborhoods - places we will never go. We will live carefully, watch our backs, not argue with folks holding guns, and pray an awful lot for our safety. We will spend a lot of time at work, at home and at school - which we do anyway. We will be careful, and we will focus on the positive.

And we will probably not expect many visitors in Caracas. So, we will be in Virginia for the next 18 months or so. Our safe neighborhood and our comfortable backyard invite you to soak up some time with us before we take off for the murder capital of the world.

Caracas, Venezuela

2011-07-23T00:40:00.002+08:00

At the end of 2012, or possibly the beginning of 2013, our family will move to Caracas, Venezuela.

Time to start reading up!

Dirty Little Secret

2011-07-22T03:27:00.000+08:00

I am worried that I portrayed my message poorly yesterday. All day, I've walked around feeling nervous; nervous that I came across as callous and selfish, and accomplished nothing more than convincing people not to visit me. Even though I may be callous and selfish, I certainly do want you to visit me. And furthermore, the negativity may have weakened my point.

So allow me to let you in on a dirty little secret:

House Guests are hard work.

Living as an expat in China, my friends and I became quite familiar with hosting House Guests. I will unreservedly say that we love it. Rather surprisingly, most of the folks living abroad are quite close to their families and friends back home, and sincerely appreciate anyone who makes that strenuous and expensive effort to visit. Planning the visit alone is stressful, and we thoroughly appreciate it. The same is true now, even though I live closer than China - the trip to the East Coast takes vacation days and gas money, and I appreciate anyone who considers visiting.

Here's how the conversation always goes, with only four possible endings:

My friend: My brother and his wife are arriving next week.

Lynne: How great! How long will they stay?

My friend: They're staying for 3 weeks.

Lynne: How's that gonna go?

My friend (option #1): Oh, it'll be fine. They entertain themselves really well.
My friend (option #2): Oh, it'll be fine. They're a big help.
My friend (option #3): I'm glad they're coming, but its always a little rough. They don't help out at all.
My friend (option #4): I'm glad they're coming, but its always rather tiring. They won't go anywhere alone.

So forget any silly rules; forget what a bad roommate I am.
Just keep a simple mantra in mind:

Help out and Get out.

Hope to host you soon!

Happy Houseguests

2011-07-21T12:16:00.000+08:00

I am a bad roommate.

Follow up with any of the gals I lived with in college - I am no longer in touch with any of them. My husband supports what they would assert as well. I am a bad roommate. I need my space, or I get grumpy. And, well, sometimes I get grumpy even when I have that space.

But here's the challenge - I love having houseguests.

If you, dear reader, have been considering coming to visit us in the future, please do not let the above assertion put you off. I want you to visit. I would love you to visit. And please, stay for as long as you would like. I just need you to follow a few simple rules:

No, actually its not as anal as that. I mean, there are a few house rules, but that's true in any house. Visitor rules are simply:
A - Quiet hours are from the girls' bedtime at night until the last girl wakes up in the morning, and
B - Nap Time is very serious in this house. You do not need to nap (very few of us do anymore), but you must keep to yourself. Everyone needs a little quiet time.

So, this last rule usually threw people off. See, I was pretty strict about this rule - either stay in your room, or leave the house. It may sound bad, but it ended up praised by plenty of people. It gave my mom the chance to explore every afternoon; my mother-in-law the chance to rest and relax every afternoon; my brother the chance to disappear every afternoon; and me the quiet of the house for a little while every day, so that I'm happy to see you return when you do.

But the rule is just a band-aid. I've been thinking it through, and I think that Miss Manners should write some basic rules of house-guestery. So, after many, many houseguests - and after being houseguest with many, many people, here it is - Basic Rules of House-Guestery.

1. Visitors staying 2 nights or less may be considered on vacation, and act accordingly. They should expect to be fed and entertained.

2. Visitors staying longer than 2 nights should be considered temporary members of the household, and act accordingly. Meals will continue, but help will be expected and complex dishes will become far less frequent. Entertainment will slow tremendously. Guests must begin entertaining themselves, leaving the house on their own, and generally contributing to the household with bits like babysitting, fixing meals or running laundry.

This is pressing on my mind this week, because our family is about to journey back to the Midwest. Next week, we will make the long and exciting drive through Chicago, St. Louis, Arkansas, St. Louis, Chicago and eventually Arlington. We will log a lot of road time, and spend about 4 weeks as houseguests. For a good portion of that, we will be at my folks' house in St. Louis with both of my brothers. Oh, let me repeat that cause it'll be fun.

My entire family will be sharing a house again for a while, just like we did when we were kids... except we're not any of us kids, the house is smaller, and we are adding 3 extra kids into the mix.

Oh, I know it'll be fun - for all of us, but especially for the kids. But I'm making sure my family has on our best Houseguestery. We will help out, fixing some meals, cleaning our bathroom, keeping our toys contained. We will get out, not only when I meet up with my friends, but also finding time for just me and each of my girls. And we know that each of our hosts will do the same. Cause that much time together would drive nearly anyone crazy.

So, back to the Basic Rules of House-Guestery. A few more that I've picked up:

1. The host should pay for groceries (with the exception of expensive special requests, like daily alcohol or breakfast cereal in China).
2. The guest should pay for at least one meal out.
3. The host should have the bed ready when the guest arrives - with towels and an extra cup accessible (this is one I drop far too often).
4. The guest should strip their bed when leaving - with sheets and towels left in a neat pile, and pillows, blankets and comforters left folded or made on the bed.

And may I just say that, of course, you have been a perfect houseguest when you stayed with us!

Not only you, but really we have not had any who left us shaking our heads and our hands in relief. And most of the rules are common courtesy. But remember, next time you're staying at someone's house, after 2 days you need to start entertaining yourself. Get out of the house - we usually live in pretty cool places, so get out there!

Culture Shock

2011-07-19T03:03:00.000+08:00

Culture Shock is the well known adjustment to a new and entirely foreign place. The first month is wildly exciting, the sixth month is absolutely miserable, and by a year in you've forgotten you ever lived anywhere else.

The folks who discuss Culture Shock also say that Reverse Culture Shock can be much more difficult to cope with. Reverse Culture Shock is the adjustment back to one's native culture, after living outside of it. I had heard depressing reports on Reverse Culture Shock, and was prepared for a difficult adjustment. We've had very little trouble (except for the groceries), but a few things do continue to surprise me.

Clothes:
I used to be a jeans and a T-shirt kind of gal. Well, I still am that kind of a gal, but I used to be a lot frumpier about it. The jeans fit nicely, but the T-shirt could be old, and would certainly be baggy. In the time I spent in China, I've decided that its not really appropriate to leave the house in clothes that don't fit, or in clothes that have holes in them. Faded t-shirts and ripped up shorts were either tossed or moved to the bottom of my drawer. I may still wear jeans and T-shirts, but everything fits, and things look a bit more put together these days.
That look carried me most everywhere in China - to the grocery store or the playground, to church and to Starbucks, and to most casual restaurants. But what people wear here keeps surprising me.
We've been spending our Sunday mornings at The Falls Church, a church where we felt comfortable immediately. But where we also immediately realized that we were underdressed. Folks there wear their Sunday best. I haven't worn my Sunday best to church since I was a little kid! In one sense, this area seems very formal. But then we went for a bike ride yesterday afternoon, and stopped at a busy playground. Plenty of folks wore to this playground the clothes they wore to mow the lawn - complete with grass stains. I'll admit, I'm having trouble reconciling these two.

Prices:
Its not just the grocery store that throws me - but golly, the grocery store sure does throw me. I love how affordable breakfast cereal and cheese have become for me. But produce just shot through the roof, and many of my baking and cooking basics cost much more than I expected. Organic certainly does not fit into our family budget (sadly).
But other things shock me, too. Target still grabs me, with loads of items that I still categorize as Hard-To-Find sitting neatly on the shelf, with a price tag below $5. Kids toys cost next to nothing - even good ones. And I can buy used books everywhere I turn. I am loving the library, and playgrounds seem to be around every corner. But entry to swimming pools and museum parking lots seems astronomical.

Life in General:
I am still in love with the green space, and the smell of flowers or grass in the air. We have been biking and swimming this week, and we'll add camping and hiking in the coming week. People here are beautifully friendly, and everyone is just awfully nice - including drivers, who just stop in the middle of the street when they see me waiting to cross! It will take me a long time to get used to that. D.C. may feel like an expensive region to us these days, but it is certainly pleasant, and we're enjoying it to the full extent of our budget.

Goodness Gracious!

2011-07-18T10:51:00.000+08:00

We knew it would be a challenge. We knew that the D.C. area is an expensive place to live. We knew that we would have to tighten our belts with that slash in income. We knew that taking a D.C. post at the beginning of a Foreign Service career was an awfully expensive choice.

But goodness gracious, we did not know how challenging this would be!

I'll not get too far detailed, but here's the gist of it:

Rent is just over half of our monthly income.
We have no car payment.
After the non-negotiables like utilities, internet, and gas for the car, we are left with a very tight disposable budget.
Let me remind you - we have 5 people in our family, all of whom eat, one who still wears diapers.

We have a budget pretty well parsed out, which I'm patting myself on the back for having accomplished after less than 2 months in our home, less than 4 months in this country.

Here are the details:

We have budgeted $500 for leisure - that includes not only eating out, but also going to the pool or buying birthday presents.
We have budgeted $100 for extras - that has come to include hair cuts and wet cell phones.
We have budgeted $800 for groceries - that includes diapers and wipes, cleaning supplies, over the counter medications, and hormone-free dairy products for our growing young girls.

Its a change in lifestyle, but we can handle the leisure budget. We eat out only once a week, and keep it in the $ category. No $$ restaurants for this family. Special treats are ice-cream and not-wanting-to-cook means hot dogs and chips. This is all standard middle-class stuff.

But the groceries are killing us. Who would have thought that a family of 5 would struggle to eat off of $800 a month? A few tricks have helped - planning weekly menus to limit trips to the grocery store (easy), and cutting out organics (ouch!). But they haven't helped enough.

So my project for the evening - plan out meals for the next two meals, and keep the entire grocery budget under $100.

Mental Health Update

2011-07-15T10:00:00.000+08:00

After the dour tone my posts likely took last month, I thought it best to update y'all on my mental health.

June was rough. Dave traveled a lot; Annika and I spent too much time in the car, ferrying between schools; and I didn't spend nearly enough time with any friends.

July has been much better.

Dave's hours have improved, to where he's home by 6:30 most nights.
School is out, and we spent our time closer to home, exploring our community.
I've gotten to know one more friend in the last month, but I've also been smarter about planning my time. Well, and I've had more control over my time, what with the end of school and all. I've not been so alone.
My parents visited, which was great - especially for the girls.

Taking the weight of the adoption off my shoulders helped a lot, too. My life feels under control again, as does our future. Dave worries I'll regret that decision someday, but at this point I feel both peace and relief.

July has been a good month. Will spend August in the Midwest. September will bring the beginning of school, new friends and new routines. I'm looking forward to it, and feeling at home.

Enjoying America: Fireworks on the Mall

2011-07-10T08:00:00.002+08:00

As we've finally begun to settle into our lives, as we are no longer adopting, and as I ought not write about all of the crazy things my neighbors do (they're actually quite lovely and appropriately normal people), I need to add a new category to the blog.

Living in a place for only about 18 months gives us a real incentive to explore the area. We're having a great time so far, and thought to share some of the fun we have while we live on the East Coast.

And I'll start the series with a bang. Spending our first Independence Day on the East Coast, how could we do anything except celebrate on the National Mall? We Metro-ed down in the afternoon, explored the Smithsonian's Folklife Festival, ate some overpriced hot dogs and lemonade, and then marched toward the Lincoln Memorial to stake out our spot. We sat on a blanket for about 3 hours, taking breaks to explore the Vietnam and Korean War Memorials and the Lincoln Memorial, and to eat ice-cream or play frisbee. Lincoln's front steps got crowded, but the park itself is certainly large enough to handle such a crowd. A large expanse of green space in a flat city with height-restricted architecture is a simple place to watch fireworks. We looked at the Washington Monument and watched the show.

Unfortunately, I didn't bring my tripod. So I'm not posting these photos for their amazing skill - but just for what they still capture. How close we were to the fireworks, and how rapt each of the girls were for those 20 minutes.

The Taste of Chicago is a wonderful Independence Day fair; St. Louis puts on an amazing fireworks display from a barge on the Missouri River; and small groups of American celebrate heartily in Shanghai. It didn't win for most crowded, best fair, or best fireworks. But there is just something about celebrating the 4th of July on the Mall. I would definitely do it again.

Bid Season

2011-07-08T02:45:00.002+08:00

Because Dave will finish his D.C. post in less than a year, we are now in the middle of bidding for our next post. The process is a bit different from bidding for the first post - where we had very little input into where we would go, or when. This time we have a list of over 200 posts. From that list, we can pull out our top 30 job / places and rank them from our first to least favorite. Seems desirable, right? Out of a great big world, we get to pick our 30 favorite places to go.

Its not that easy.

Dave did not learn a language for this post - so he must for his next post. That eliminates about one-fifth of the posts on the list.

Dave is not doing Consular work in this job - so he must for his next post. These are both requirements which each junior officer must fill within his first two tours. That eliminates over one-third of the posts on the list.

And most complicated, the timing must work. Each post has a date listed when they desire to fill the job. Likely, that date is when the last employee will leave. Dave will need to finish his current position, take Consular training and finish language training before he can start a new job. Depending on the language, he could take a post that starts between Nov. of 2012 and April of 2013. That eliminates a whole heckuva lot of posts.

Combine these three requirements with the few posts which don't allow children, and our eligible list is 27. And on that list, we have duplicates (where that post is listing multiple jobs). Also on that list, we have posts where the kids ride in an armored vehicle to attend school in another country. Also on that list, we have posts with no English school at all, where our kids (including a then 2nd grader) would learn either Spanish or French through full immersion.

The top 15 or so places on our list are pretty great. The bottom 15 or so are a little scary. I feel confident that we can fall well. Dave feels confident that his lack of seniority coupled with the lack of hardship associated with Northern Virginia gives him zero equity, and zero chance of landing a good post.

We turn in our list early next week, and expect to know by the end of the month.

Mourning Mei Mei

2011-07-07T10:50:00.002+08:00

We named her Grace.

Somewhere in the first year or so of planning our adoption, we named her Grace. We always called her Mei Mei, which means little sister in Chinese. We figured we'd call her that, too. But her name would certainly be Grace. No middle name yet - that would depend upon her Chinese name, and all of the circumstances when we met her.

It was such her name that when I was pregnant with Annika, we never considered that name. The name Grace has already been given to one of our children.

I mourn that child this week, because Dave and I have decided not to move forward with our adoption. I say this with a heavy heart, because we are now missing a member of our family. But I also share it with confidence that we made the right choice. Our family is complete right now, and China currently turns away families who would love to adopt because of a surplus of loving parents. She will still be adopted, and she will be fine.

I don't mean to sound overdramatic. Our child never died. She will live a healthy life, and was never our child to begin with. I won't mourn her for years. But this week, our family is one child smaller, and I am mourning Grace.

The Nation's Summer Capital

2011-06-30T10:43:00.003+08:00

The girls and I are spending half of the week at the beach with my folks. We drove due east, through Annapolis, over a lot of water, past some fabulous looking produce stands, and ended up at our motel a few blocks away from the end of the land. Its a nifty little motel, clean and well located with tables in the room and lawn chairs on the balcony. What more could we need? The weather is perfect, the beach is lovely, and the food is both tasty and affordable.

We arrived this afternoon, and I just keep thinking about how easy it is to travel in America. We don't have to mess with passports, no worries about luggage weights, we just throw everything into the car along with all of the people, put on a good book-on-CD and plug away. With the cooler in the back, we stopped at a state park for lunch and running around about halfway through the drive. Things here are cheap. Anyone who wants to join us here in a beach house next summer, just let me know!

I have been posting pretty rarely lately, so I suppose you're wanting a better update on our lives. Two good reasons for not posting much.
One: There's just a lot going on. The house is unpacked and the shopping is all done (thank goodness. But adoption paperwork still looms, and we've already begun bidding for our next post. That includes loads of research. Plenty of other projects still sitting in boxes in the basement, and I rarely make it to the gym.
Two: There's not so much to say. Wry comments about my neighbors and the funny way people do things around here don't seem so funny. Its just being snide and judgmental when I comment on Americans living in America. Bidding will keep it interesting for a while here, but otherwise you may be looking at a dry year or so.

We have been keeping busy in the general area, though. Virginia and the surrounding area is just full of fun stuff to do! We've explored Mount Vernon, hung out on the mall, hiked through a forest park and driven to the beach. Our bucket list for the area is exciting, and this summer is the time to accomplish it. As I won't be telling you interesting things about the crazy way folks do things around here, I'll try to tell you the fun stuff that we do around here instead.

And right now, that's go to bed. An afternoon at the beach has readied me for a good night's sleep.

This Is Getting Embarassing

2011-06-24T03:00:00.003+08:00

The cell phone curse has continued. And I've got to admit, its really getting me down. This is an expensive and frustrating piece of equipment to consistently break down. After I broke down and bought myself my same old phone from China, the one I sent through the washing machine back in April, I thought the curse would have ended.

Sadly, no.

At the beginning of June, it fell out of my pocket while I lounged in a chair on our back deck. Dave and I went straight to bed, it rained overnight, and my phone was flashing a strange light when I found it the next morning.

The vaccuum / rice trick worked its magic, and my phone was back within 1 week.

Yesterday, enjoying the sticky heat of June, the family attacked each other with the garden hose in the backyard. Once we were thoroughly soaked, we all dumped our clothes into a laundry basket and I quickly transferred that load straight into the washing machine.

When Dave and I went down to change the laundry around midnight, I saw my phone sitting right in plain sight - at the bottom of the washing machine. I walked away crying, and turned on the air conditioner.

Its sitting in rice for another week, although I'm a lot less hopeful about this recovery. Sitting in the drizzle all night is one thing. Being put through the wringer is another.

Here's the comfort I try to give myself. As I look back on the last few months, I've managed to drop very few balls. The house has come together. The kids have been happy and healthy. Schools have all been begun, finished, and registered for next year. Doctors have been visited multiple times, often with expensive and frustrating referrals.

In the grand scheme of things, if I'll I've wrecked is a few cell phones, it won't be a bad record.

Lets just hope the curse ends here.

I Have Arrived

2011-06-22T11:33:00.003+08:00

I finished all of my Moving In shopping today. I can let my credit card rest, and just relax in my fully-lit, fully linened, fully-dished house. But it was actually yesterday when I truly realized that I had arrived at a normal state. I realized it when Lori came over.

Lori has been a rock for me these past few months. I knew Lori in Shanghai. My kids knew Lori's kids in Shanghai. And even though two years had past, they all played together beautifully within minutes. Lori has a comfortable home and a big backyard. Lori has a helper who enjoys our little Annika. Lori has listened; Lori has provided babysitting; Lori has given doctor references; Lori has offered her backyard as respite; Lori has been a Godsend.

So yesterday, with all the furniture and the dishes and the bedding generally arranged, we finally invited Lori and her kids over for the day. I had lunch for kids, and lunch for adults prepped and ready to fix. Within 30 minutes of her arrival, I had the house clean (that is, of course, 30 minutes after she was scheduled to arrive. thank goodness they were late!)

Lori did not feel so organized that morning, and had to drop the kids and run so she could meet someone who had stood her up over an hour before. She made it back later in the afternoon, in time to pick up the kids and go home. While she was gone, the kids all played beautifully and her wonderful housekeeper kept an eye on them so that I could relax a bit and get some things done around the house. Of course, I would have enjoyed chatting with Lori for the day. But it was lovely to get so much done, knowing that my kids were happy.

But here's the best part.

When she arrived, things were still a bit of a mess. She let me in on the confusion of the day, and of the summer. And she summed it up flatteringly. She said she was having a day much like I've been having for the past few months.

I'm not saying I'm going to be Well Put Together from here on out. But it felt refreshing to be the stable one.

Status Report

2011-06-20T12:35:00.003+08:00

Its 12:35 AM on Sunday night.
The weekend has officially ended.

Status Report:

Dining Room - finished
Living Room - finished
Sun Room - finished
Girls Bedrooms - finished
Kitchen - finished (except for the pantry)
My Bedroom - finished (except for
the 2 boxes of bedding, which may just have to live in the corner of my room
cause they're sure not going to fit in my tiny little linen closet)

Boxes are broken down and neatly piled in the sunroom,
until tomorrow night when I leave them on the curb for recycling.

Also managed to make sweet bread for breakfast,
blueberry sorbet for snack,
and Dave made Chicago style pizza for dinner.

The girls spent the weekend playing with their toys,
knowing where things belong, and generally feeling at home.
Its the most relaxed they've seemed in weeks.

I believe we are home.

What We've Been Reading

2011-06-20T05:26:00.005+08:00

Shanghai Girls by Lisa See

As we wrapped up on our time in China, I focused on the last few China books I'd left sitting unread. Shanghai Girls was a classic example of a book I should have read long ago. My book club in Shanghai read it together, but I skipped that month. Friend and family in the states recommended it to me, after having read Snowflower and the Secret Fan, also by Lisa See. Once I finally made time for the book, I breezed through it. See writes a compelling story, which carries two sisters through an amazing number of changes in lifestyle, landscape and self-image. I've always enjoyed author Amy Tan's writing, because she writes about Chinese women talking to their American daughters. In so doing, she explains the recent history of China in ways that I can understand and relate to. I always find the most extraordinary piece of Tan's stories to be the expansive change her characters undergo. As with many Americans who arrived as refugees, or simply escaped dangerous conditions, characters from this book lived in a world where they were well taken care of and had few worries; they then underwent unimaginable experiences before arriving to live in the U.S., shop at the same grocery store as me, and raise daughters who drink too much Coca-Cola. It reminds me that everyone I meet has a hidden story. And that recent Chinese history is awful. And that people are capable of horrible things, but that life is also redemptive. As a friend recently reminded me, this too shall pass. See tells a good story, and I recommend it for all of my readers.

Country Driving by Peter Hessler

Peter Hessler is one of the best modern writers on China. He left the place a year or two before we did, but his books neatly bookmarked our tour. I read his River Town when we first arrived in China. The book was actually published around the year 2000, but Hessler very neatly described my experience - of being lost by the culture, lost by the noise, lost by the language, lost by the characters of China. Except that by the end of the book, he could read characters and had become amazingly adept at speaking the language. Still, I identified. So when Oracle Bones came out the following year, I ate it up. It wasn't so good - a mishmash of freelance journalist's projects and friends which never fully gelled. Based on the second book, I hesitated to pick up Country Driving when it came out this year, neatly bookending our time in China. Nothing to fear - Hessler's strength in telling people's stories in China shines in this book. Once again, Hessler describes China as few foreigners can - telling very personal stories, and this time from off the beaten track. He paints a vivid and accurate picture of the China that we left behind this year.

Wild Grass: Three Stories of Change in Modern China by Ian Johnson

I love how good reads begins their synopsis of this books: "In Wild Grass, Pulitzer Prize—winning journalist Ian Johnson tells the stories of three ordinary Chinese citizens moved to extraordinary acts of courage." In the engaging style of a skilled journalist, Johnson delved into the stories of a legal clerk in the countryside who filed a class-action suit on behalf of overtaxed farmers and learned the limits of the Chinese legal system; a young architect who defended not only the dispossessed homeowners but also the disappearing architecture of Beijing; and an average elderly woman who ended up beaten to death in police custody for her faith in falun gong. After living in and reading about China for the past three and a half years, I still found the well-researched stories in this book telling me things about the country that I was naive to. But beyond telling stories which the world needs to hear, Johnson smoothly and professionally weaves in his reaction to each individual - his skepticism at times, and his frustration. A great read for a thinker, but a simple read for anyone.

And that completes my China list, until we get to the books concerning adoption - but I'm saving those for later. Anyone with recommendations for books on the mid-Atlantic and northern Virginia, I'm all ears. Although you'd better come quick - we'll know our next post by the end of the summer, and then I'll once again focus all reading attentions outside of this country.

Finishing Up-Date

2011-06-19T09:33:00.002+08:00

Status Report:

We hung pictures in the Living Room,
and otherwise made dinner and started on
Father's Day edible treats.

Crossing my fingers that we will reach the goal -
no more boxes and all frames hung by the end of the weekend.

Finishing Up

2011-06-19T01:01:00.002+08:00

The goal for this weekend:
To finish all unpacking, shopping and moving into the house.

Progress as of lunchtime on Saturday:
Basement - finished
Kitchen - finished
Dining Room - finished
Sun Room - finished

Rough Patch

2011-06-15T09:54:00.002+08:00

Alright, I've got to tell you, this has been a tough month.

When we left China, I felt confident that this would be a simple move. Its going home, right? The girls and I have friends in the DC area, everyone speaks English, we'll have all of our stuff in one place, and there's Target. What more could we want?

And for the first month or so, it really was. The schools were both good, the housing was easy, and it is lovely having those friends nearby. But as we've begun to really settle in here, its just gotten harder. Picking out a house was tough, and moving into it has been even tougher. Its an expensive house, and we don't have a small house worth of furniture, so there's been significant shopping involved. We're about to get our dressers delivered, which will pull all of our clothes off of the floor; but we're still lacking lamps, which makes it a bit dark in the evenings.

The commutes are rough. Lilly goes to school in a different district, so she can't take the bus. Sophia goes to school in another town, so she's got a long drive. Annika rides through it all - morning, lunchtime, and afternoon. So I can't get much done in my morning stretch, and the poor baby can't get a full nap in the afternoon one.

The same goes for Dave. He's an hour to work on the Metro - although he'll begin biking tomorrow, which has him pretty stoked. And he's working East Coast hours - that is, in between 8 and 9:00 in the morning, but leaving the office around 6ish at night. I'm looking forward to the end of school this week, because right now he gets home just in time to put the girls to bed. Another hour of family time in the evening would make a difference for everyone. But add in last week, where Dave never got home before midnight and didn't see the girls all week-long, and its been a struggle.

Both Lilly and Sophia have faced behavioral challenges. And although Sophia's seem to be less than usual (she is in a fantastic school), Lilly's seem to have ramped up since we moved into the new house.

I'm tired all the time, sometimes breaking out in hives, and have frequent headaches. I'm contemplating buying an espresso machine just to make it through the afternoons. Well, and because wouldn't that be fun? But with the serious slash in income and the major bites we've been taking out of our savings, I think that one's going to have to wait.

Visits to the doctor turned up some questionable test results, which don't have her worried, but are leaving me a bit on edge. Apparently a non-specific indicator in my blood says that I should see a rheumatologist. Now, my doctor says that I'm showing no symptoms of anything joint related and that as often as not, these tests are wrong. She expects the rheumatologist to run another test and send me home. But still.

But really, here's the problem. I need some friends. It feels so pathetic to write that, but lets be honest here. Its a remarkable person in remarkable circumstances who doesn't need friends only a few months into a new city. And luckily, I've got a few good friends. I'm doing well on the weekends. Its just the day-to-day interactions that I'm lacking. What we should all pray is that I hit it off with some of the neighbors soon - neighbors whose kids will play with mine, and who will chat with me on the street. Because I know that none of those things listed above are a big deal - but with no one around to normalize my minor complaints, they quickly morph into the type of thing that spontaneously gives me hives.

Bid Season Begins Again!

2011-06-08T11:35:00.002+08:00

Now that we've begun to settle in our new home, talk has begun about when and where we'll be moving again.

Dave began his DC post about a month ago. He's been keeping extremely busy, working all those corporate hours without all of those corporate perks (that is, a really big salary), which is a bit of a bummer for me. But he certainly enjoys this job more than he did working for Uncle H--, so I can't complain too much. He'll be in this position until May 2012, as it is a 1 year post. At that time, he'll begin training for the next post. That training takes places in Northern Virginia, so we expect to be here for about 18 months or so. (just typing that feels so relaxing - ah, to be able to plan ahead!)

The bidding process for his first tour was pretty straight-forward. We faced a list of nearly 100 posts, and ranked each place High, Medium or Low in desirability. Then, Uncle Sam made our choice for us. Happily, he chose one that we had ranked High. That doesn't always happen.

For the second tour, the process is a bit different. We will look at a much longer list, and pull out the 30 posts interest us. With a few caveats, of course. First caveat is that a lot of other people will get to pick before Dave does - folks serving at crummy posts right now get first dibs on good posts next round, while folks living in Arlington and sending their kids to world-class public schools have to choose a little later.

The next caveat is that each of our 30 must meet certain standards, per Junior Officer requirements. The position must require a foreign language, meaning that we will certainly be here for language training. The position must be consular. And at least half of the positions must be in hardship posts.

The third caveat is that Uncle Sam will look at our picks, and then make our choice for us. And he may not choose out of our 30 chosen destinations.

I'm eager to see the list, and to spend some time obsessively researching cities over the internet and at the Foreign Service Institute. And then to begin reading up on our next destination, since I've finished all of our books on China.

Mis-defined

2011-06-07T12:28:00.003+08:00

All these many years, I have been operating under the illusion that the word "extrovert" could be defined as "one who is outgoing." Quite a few people have recently informed me that this definition oversimplifies, and does not get to the heart of the meaning. More specifically, according to my friends, an extrovert is someone who draws energy from social situations. By contrast, an introvert would be exhausted by social situations.

Rather interestingly, when I went to a few dictionaries to verify these definitions, I found the old standby to make the only appearance. According to Websters, an extrovert is gregarious and unreserved, and Britannica makes no mention of energy either

But lets please not let the research get in the way of my point.

For the sake of argument, lets call my friends greater experts than the dictionary and say that an extrovert is someone who draws their energy from other people. And this is my personal diagnosis for my recent exhaustion. Such exhaustion, in fact, that I did indeed take myself to the doctor and ask her to run a bunch of tests. As it turns out, my thyroid is just fine, my cholesterol looks fantastic, and my Vitamin D is a little low. But nothing that looks to be causing the type of exhaustion I've been feeling lately.

My diagnosis? Not enough social interaction to raise my energy level. And plenty of moving nonsense and stressed out kids to drain it. I'm still working on the Rx for this diagnosis, but simply becoming aware of the issue has helped. Since I decided that my exhaustion is not physical, but rather entirely in my head, I have given up my afternoon nap and decided that I am no longer tired. Just grumpy sometimes, and a little nervous about school letting out next week.

Virginia Smells Lovely

2011-06-01T01:11:00.002+08:00

I think they should make that the new state motto...

Virginia Smells Lovely

Dave thinks it might be more accurate simply to say,

Virginia Smells Loads Better Than China

but that one doesn't have the same ring to it. So I'm pushing the first. Flowers, fresh cut grass, rain, a general lack of heavy industrial pollution or thick exhaust. I hate to close the windows, because Virginia Smells Lovely.

Home

2011-05-30T10:02:00.003+08:00

We've been in the house for a little over a week. We had no furniture, dishes or internet access for most of that time. Two days ago, everything arrived - the internet, cable and local phone were installed and connected to our new TV. The boxes came from China, and the furniture came from St. Louis. For the first time in nearly 4 years, all of our things are together under one roof. And that makes for a pretty crowded little house. And really, a pretty stressful week for everyone.

Dave put the girls to bed tonight. I walked up 30 minutes later, because I heard chattering.

Lilly: I couldn't sleep. I was waiting for you to come and give me a good-night kiss.

Mommy: Oh, I'm sorry, baby.

Lilly (giving me a big hug): Its okay, Mommy. I know you're busy.

Mommy: I'm working really hard, trying to make this house into our home.

Lilly (inside the big hug): Its already out home, Mommy.

Mommy (small smile, and feeling of reassurance): Oh, I'm so glad, Lilly.

Lilly: Its just a really bad one.

Its not actually such a bad house. In fact, its a very cute little house in a well-located and charming neighborhood. I think she's going to like it a lot, once it is no longer overwhelmed by boxes.

The Privilege of Living in Virginia

2011-05-17T23:23:00.007+08:00

Goodness gracious - this area is expensive!

We looked into buying a house nearby - the only thing we could afford was a 3-bedroom condo with a small yard, and 950 square feet on the interior. For those of you who don't know their weights and measures - 950 square feet is crazy small. We considered it, because it would be lovely to own. But decided that 4 girls plus a Mom and a Dad living in such a small space with no extra storage would just be no good.

So we rent. We looked at a few comfortable townhomes in Vienna - that's at the very end of the DC metro system. And then we found a house in Arlington - that's the nearest suburb with a distinctly urban feel to it - I'd compare it to the far north neighborhoods in Chiago. Originally, it was part of the District of Columbia until ceded back to Virginia. It completes the District's square footprint. Its pricey - eating up over half of our monthly income. But so were all the rest of the places we looked. People pay a lot of money for the privilege of living in Virginia.

We signed the lease this weekend. Dave and I are landlords in St. Louis, and so we feel that we're familiar with good and bad leases. When we saw that we are responsible for all utilities, including water and trash, we were surprised. When we saw that all appliances are in "as is" condition, we got nervous. But when we realized that we are responsible for every bit of maintenance on the house as well, we became suspicious. So, we don't call the landlord if the toilet explodes in the middle of the night? Nope - that's on us, in a standard Virginia Lease.

We got the keys yesterday and took the girls over to enjoy the house and the yard last night. We ended up meeting our next door neighbors on both sides, which quickly made us feel like we're moving into a neighborhood. In chatting, we learned that the land alone where our house sits is worth at least $500,000. The landlords have owned it for at least 20 years, at best guess. Judging off of the neighbor's original house value, I'd say they paid $200,000 for it. And now that they've probably got it paid off, they're still collecting over half of our salary for the privilege of living there - with no additional monthly costs to them at all.

I tell you where the privilege is - it is a privilege to own rental property in Virginia. Especially if you bought it two decades ago!

For the Love of Bureaucracy

2011-05-17T23:23:00.006+08:00

I thought the numerous parties involved this weekend were tough. We worked with our agent, who worked with the landlord's agent, who worked with the agency broker, who worked with the landlord to eventually get a signed lease to our new house. When the landlord went AWOL on Sunday, we had a long train of conversations going back and forth. The silliness of bureaucracy - it seems it would have been easier for us to work directly with the landlord.

But now I see - this was nothing. Now my life is in the hands of the Federal Government, and I begin to learn what bureaucracy really is.

With a DC post, we are required to take possession of all of our things, and to move out of temporary housing by this weekend. Before we even had a signed lease, I began the process of establishing delivery. I sent an email 4 days ago. I made a few phone calls the same day. I waited for them to reply. With no reply, I began making phone calls again today - now that I have a signed lease and keys to the delivery point.

This is where it gets fun.

I called Transportation. They told me that I have no travel orders authorizing release of our stuff.

I called Human Resources. They told me that travel orders only came in this week, and had not yet crossed her desk. She has now forwarded them to Budget.

Budget will sit on them for about 3 days before approving them, and sending them back to Human Resources.

Human Resources will send them to me.

I will send them to Transportation.

Transportation will send them to the warehouse.

The warehouse will contract with a delivery company.

I've been advised that under the best of circumstances, this will take about 5 business days. Yet we move out of temporary housing on Saturday. Into an empty house. No furniture. No towels. No dishes. No sleeping bags. No extension on the temporary housing - even though this is clearly how long the process takes to work.

It seems that someone either in heaven or in the federal government believes that I need to work on my patience and flexibility.

Moving Once More

2011-05-15T07:57:00.002+08:00

Every so often, I post something about how I'm too busy to form a coherent thought, and how you're going to have to forgive my absence for the next while. Well, here it is again. I've had a few nicely thought out posts written in my head. They simmer for a while in my brain, getting better as the day goes on, even marinating into the next day sometimes. But after sitting overnight, the ideas begin to go bad and I eventually have to throw them out. Without time to write, I'm losing any interesting thoughts I derive these days.

However, I am receiving complaints that I've not updated you on our housing. Without further ado, we have a house! That is, we will have a house tomorrow morning. We considered buying a house in Falls Church City, renting it out while we're gone and having a place to come back to whenever posted in DC. But the options were in our price range were few, and they were really pushing the top of the range. So, we're renters. We're renting a lovely house with a yard and a sunroom. We're an easy walk to the Metro that'll take Dave straight to work downtown. Lilly has to change schools, but not until next fall - by then, she won't remember any of her classmates from this year anyway.

We get the keys tomorrow morning, and we're all looking forward to exploring the house and the neighborhood. But even more exciting - we also receive all of our stuff from storage sometime this week. For the first time in four years, we will have nothing sitting in storage. Our entire household will be in one place.

So, the to do list for this week includes all of the regular moving stuff:

Cleaning the new house;
Cleaning the old house;
Moving stuff from this place to that place;
Buy a bed for Dave and I, and finding dressers for each of us;
Setting up license plates, renters insurance, and school registration
Unpacking and generally moving in

And I'll admit - I'm looking forward to it. I'm looking forward to feeling at home, and having everything we need with us. I'm looking forward to sleeping in my own bed, with bedding I chose myself. I'm looking forward to every bit of it! If only I had an ayi who could help with the cleaning and the kids. Maybe at our next post.

Settling Slowly

2011-05-10T10:41:00.002+08:00

Dave began his new job today. He is no longer in training, but a sworn in officer of the federal government with a desk and everything. He felt pretty good about the vibe in the office, and about reporting in to work daily for the next year. He told me that Secretary Clinton came to his desk to personally welcome him to the department this morning; and he thought it was awfully funny that I believed him.

Lilly is settling into her school and class. She has her first playdate tomorrow afternoon, and talks about a few of her friends regularly. She doesn't have quite the comfort level she had in Mrs B's class in Shenzhen, but she still seems confident and happy.

Sophia is in a Montessori classroom, which I think is the perfect place for her right now. She has plenty of choices she can make, and a wonderful teacher paying close attention to her needs and her strengths. I see her growing in this school, and I'm so glad she's there.

I'm still feeling unsettled, though. Keeping 3 kids on different school and sleep schedules, and all within a small apartment without a yard is exhausting. The lack of social interaction is depressing. And being homeless is unsettling.

One Year

2011-05-05T21:45:00.002+08:00

Oh goodness sakes - what our lives looked like one year ago!

We lived in a charming little lane house in the French Concession of Shanghai. Our neighbors were entirely Chinese, and very few of them spoke any English at all. We could walk to some of the best restaurants in a restaurant city, as well as to the Metro, a little import grocery, and a fantastic vegetable lady. We went for walks through the lanes and under the plane trees. We spent a lot of time on our rooftop terrace. Dave and I shared a small bedroom across the house and up a spiral staircase from the girl's bedroom. They went to preschool right across the street, and came home right after lunch every day. Dave worked long hours, but his office was a simple 15 minute bike ride from the house so it all felt manageable. The old house was falling apart, with chunks of plaster sometimes dropping from the ceiling and onto the dinner table. But it was lovely. And it felt like home immediately.

The day that Annika was born, Lilly and Sophia spent with Erin and her daughter Jill. They went home from school the next day with Miriam and her daughter Amelie. Amelie and Jill were some of Lilly's favorite friends, and she still talks about them regularly. The girls loved baby Annika immediately. She was the peaceful baby we had all prayed for, and she fit into our family perfectly. She spent her first weeks walking around in the lovely Shanghai spring, and rarely leaving the baby carrier. We vacationed on the beaches of Sanya, and otherwise spent the summer at the pool a block away and enjoyed a simple life.

When she was about 10 weeks old, we learned of the possibility of moving to Shenzhen in south China. Only a few weeks later, we did move. She handled the transition gracefully - we wrapped her bassinet in old plastic bags and checked it as luggage so she could bring her bed with us to the hotel where we spent our first month. A flexible and happy girl, she walked her sisters to school and then napped in the gym while I burned off that extra weight.

Soon we moved into our house. Only a few minutes away from the school and now with an ayi who loved our little baby, little Annika fell into a routine and spent her mornings at home. She didn't have to wake up for the walk to school and she could eat and sleep when she liked, because an adult was always at home. Lilly and I found friends quickly and Annika's fan club grew

She came to the states for Christmas, and landed on American soil for the first time at 7 months old. Only 6 weeks later, spending the day at Disneyland in Hong Kong, we learned that we'd be coming back to the US with Daddy as a diplomat. She spent the next few weeks with ayi a lot - and ayi cried when she finally had to say good-bye. At 10 months old, our baby left her 2nd home and spent the next few months in transition.

One her 1st birthday today, she's living in a hotel in her 6th city. She's spending a lot of time in the car, ferrying her sister to preschool. She's loving playing in the grass and eating with her fingers. She's starting to walk, but has no need for talking. She's still that peaceful baby we prayed for, and she still fits perfectly into our family.

A Blessing and a Curse

2011-05-04T09:56:00.002+08:00

Our family's first post in the Foreign Service will be to the State Department in Washington, D.C. Dave's seen a small blurb of a job description, and feels pretty excited about the kind of work he expects to do. He's having dinner with a future co-worker tonight, checking into the office on Thursday afternoon, and reports to work bright and early Monday morning. He gets sworn in on Friday afternoon, and will be an official diplomat within a week.

The job is certainly a blessing.

A number of other blessings come along with this DC posting.

Blessing #1: We have lived in China for the past 4 years, and I love the opportunity for our family to live in the states for a bit. Lilly and Sophia feel fully American, but have no memory of living here. All three girls have spent more of their lives in China than in America. We've been far away from family, and the easy bits of American life have been difficult. We're looking forward to living in America for a while.

Blessing #2: Sophia had a rough year in school last year. After less than 2 weeks in her new school here in Virginia, we're seeing confidence return and a happier child than I saw the entire time we lived in Shenzhen. Her teachers love her. She's making friends. She learning and growing, and feels at home. She's in a wonderful place.

Blessing #3: Before we arrived in D.C., we already had good friends here. Dave's cousin lives in town, and his girls are nearly the same ages as ours. They hit it off right away. Friends from Shanghai live in town, and our kids played together at The Wonder Center. Sparks reignited as if they've never been apart - and certainly not been apart for nearly two years. Dave's classmate and our neighbor has girls nearly the same age as ours, and they all get along smashingly. And where girls play together happily, there the mothers and fathers are able to talk and enjoy each other. We have friends in town - all of us.

Blessing #4: On his first Sunday here, Dave popped into the church across the street. Since then, we've gone every weekend. We frequently see people we know. We enjoy the preaching and the worship. And best of all - the girls love the Sunday School, so much that they ask to go back each week. Finally, we are in a family friendly church.

Blessing #5: Our temporary housing is lovely. We've landed in a new complex, in a 2 bedroom apartment with a den and a large, new kitchen. The space is great, and the location couldn't be better. Across the street from the church, in an amazing school district, and within walking distance of most of the city's selling points - the library, the restaurants, the toy store, the farmer's market, the parks.

But the blessings come complete with a curse.

Housing here is stinking expensive. And not only expensive, but it also moves quickly. Things available at the beginning of the week have already disappeared. We lose our temporary housing in 17 days. That is, we need to be entirely moved into our new home in less than 3 weeks.

Its overwhelming.

Flag Day

2011-05-01T04:18:00.003+08:00

I can not remember the last time I have felt so nervous.

We got the girls dressed in their business dress, pulled Lilly out of school, woke Annika from her nap and made our way to the Foreign Service Institute yesterday afternoon. Dave was waiting in the parking lot, drew us through security, and then brought us into the large room where we would learn our fates. Plenty of other kids and family members were there, easing the tension in the room a bit and making me comfortable with my squirmy, impatient and grumpy kids. We sat in the very back. While Annika slept, Sophia snacked, and Lilly colored I listened to the announcements.

The speaker would flash a flag on a large screen behind her. She would read the name of the post, and a very brief job description. And then she would name the person assigned to that post. The first few I breezed through, paying more attention to my kids and listening slightly for Dave's name. But then, as names I knew became more regular, I sat up straighter and concentrated on every post. Because if I just listened for his name, I would have already missed where we were going!

Annika woke up and crawled around the floor. Lilly ran out of coloring pages. Sophia finished all of the snacks. They were getting impatient, and I was getting tense. Jobs we had ranked high were disappearing, and I began to think we would be going somewhere entirely unexpected.

And then, bored Sophia had to pee.

We ran to the bathroom, just around the corner. We raced inside, and I told her to hurry. We can't have been gone for more than one name.

And that name was ours.

When we returned, a friend was waiting by the door with news that Dave has been assigned to the Main State Department offices in Washington, D.C. He'll be working on the Southeast Asia desk, monitoring human rights and religious freedom. It sounds like a really interesting job, and D.C. will fit our family's needs very well for the next year or two.

But I'll admit, as we listened to the exciting places his classmates were assigned, we felt pretty let down to be posted in America.

D.C.

2011-04-30T06:02:00.001+08:00

Tomorrow

2011-04-29T11:22:00.003+08:00

We find out tomorrow.

Where we're going, and when. We learn that tomorrow. Tomorrow afternoon.

Shh...

2011-04-26T21:53:00.002+08:00

I'm sitting on the couch in a deliciously quiet apartment. I took Lilly to her first day at the new school this morning, we met her teachers and explored the classroom a bit, and I left as the kids shuffled in off of the busses. Then I dropped Sophia off for her second day of school. Annika fell asleep on the way home, and transferred nicely into her crib. And now I'm enjoying some long awaited peace and quiet. I know that I ought to be taking advantage of this time to be accomplishing any number of things, but I just can't motivate myself to do anything besides relax, breathe in the fresh air from the open windows, and just do nothing.

I am feeling quite pleased with how we have landed. When I would pick up Sophia from school in Shenzhen, she always ran to meet me at the door with a sad face. On the way home from school, she would tell me that she hated school and explain at least one thing in the day that had made her mad or hurt her feelings. Her teacher seemed unconcerned about this, and so it continued throughout the school year. Yesterday, when I picked her up from her first day of school here in DC, I saw no sad face. I saw a very confident and happy little girl, who told me all about the things she'd done in the day, and who clearly liked her teacher and her classroom very much. She was eager to go back this morning, and walked happily into her class without me.

Lilly has amazed me with her confidence and ability to transition. I have not once seen a glimpse of nerves about starting school. She wants to ride the bus to school, and yesterday explained that its because riding the bus is a great way to make even more friends. She put on her best dress today, treating everyone she met with polite kindness, and although she looked a bit wary when the kids all piled into the classroom, she seemed unconcerned that I was leaving. It was time for me to go, and for her to be an independent young lady once again. I am very proud of her. Fittingly, her teachers were very relaxed and welcoming. She has a number of classmates from State Department families, many which transferred in during the middle of the year. The most recent little boy evacuated from Egypt about 2 months ago. So the new kid in the class will be warmly welcomed, I have no doubt.

Poor Annika is not doing quite so well. Since last week, she's struggled with some minor illness. Both of her sisters become sleepy and snuggly when they're sick. But as little Annika is always snuggly and quiet, being sick makes her angry, wiggly and quite cross. I imagine she will appreciate her quiet mornings with Mommy, but this morning she is simply appreciating a very long nap. And I plan to do the same.

Explaining Stress

2011-04-23T03:37:00.002+08:00

I've been in a funk the last few days, and unable to perfectly explain why. All things considered, this has been a very simple move. We came directly to a furnished apartment in a prime location. Dave has a co-worker in the building who commutes with him, and has offered to babysit. The girls have friends in town who we've seen regularly. Dave has a cousin in town, so we've enjoyed second cousin playdates as well. Plus, we live in America. When we run out of things, I can just run to the Target around the corner. When someone feels sick, there's no panic. There are plenty of doctors and hospitals nearby - and we now have good health insurance again. Schools are fairly well settled, and both seem like good places.

And still, the stress of moving hasn't escaped me.

For Good Friday, the church around the corner holds a Family Worship Service at 10:00am. The church has been quite family friendly so far, so I felt great about attending with my young kids. Lilly, Sophia and I worked hard to leave right on time. They completed their chores, and I got everyone fed and cleaned so that we could be out the door by quarter til. We walked quickly through the rain, and found our seats just before the music began - perfect timing for young ones.

And quickly it became clear to me that this church's definition of family friendly did not meet my definition. As I looked around, I saw loads of well-pressed children with pretty hair-dos sitting next to their Dads in suits. We only wore knit sans collar, and came without a father. Most of them sat quietly and listened to the preacher speak, the worship music, and the kids put on a lovely passion play. Lilly sat high on her knees, and got something out of most of the service. Sophia colored on her bulletin with the pen provided in the pew. Annika began to cry about halfway through, but recovered when I allowed her to crawl under the seats.

It was truly a lovely service. But the culture of this church simply did not match the culture of mine, where every service is so family friendly that my kids have danced in the aisles on occasion. And this fairly well sums up the stress of this past week. We work and rush to leave the house on time. We often get lost along the way, arriving late and grumpy. Out destination or event does not meet our expectations, because how could it? Our expectations have little to do with what's actually being presented. We leave feeling somehow dissatisfied, and often late for both lunch and Annika's nap. And then Lilly and Sophia snark at each other and me for the rest of the day, because things just haven't gone quite as planned for anyone.

I hold out hope that next week, school will create the routine and the social outlet that will calm each of my children. And really, it has been a blessedly simple move. Simple, but still stressful.

Well Connected

2011-04-21T21:09:00.002+08:00

You would think that these past few weeks would be full of interesting tidbits, as Dave is now training to be a diplomat for the U.S. government. But Dave doesn't write this blog. And when I ask Dave what he learned at work today, he generally answers with Not much.

But yesterday, I heard quite a bit. Yesterday, Dave got to meet Secretary of State Hillary Clinton. Members of his class were invited to "Conversations on Diplomacy" with Secretary Clinton and former Secretary of State Henry Kissinger, moderated by Charlie Rose. If you watched the show last night on PBS, you probably saw the back of Dave's head.

After the conversations finished, everyone attended a reception at the State Department building. Dave enjoyed hobnobbing with his classmates, as well as Secretary Clinton and a number of ambassadors. They're not yet on a first name basis, but he did enjoy a fun evening with quite a few interesting conversations and big name handshakes.

Exhausted

2011-04-20T09:39:00.002+08:00

End of the day, and I've got nothing left. Its not just this Living-Without-A-Housekeeper business. I can handle doing my own laundry and washing my own dishes. Not going to the gym is a little rough, but otherwise we're making it without an ayi just fine.

No, its just moving. Moving is exhausting - and especially moving with a family. My rather well-balanced children have moved into bi-polar territory, swinging wildly from lovable and easy-to-please to miserable and hating everyone. Just keeping their company is exhausting. But add in how often I get lost trying to find my way around Northern Virginia, negotiating new doctors, dentists and public school medical forms, the lack of exercise, and the horrible food we've been eating lately, and I've come to a body which seems to be falling apart.

Okay, so maybe its not just moving. Its moving internationally, with young children, over the age of 30. And the possibility of slouching on the couch with the television on and ice-cream in hand once the kids are in bed, well, that's not really helping.

The girls begin school next week. A few weeks later, I look forward to everyone feeling more settled and confident. A real routine, with other people who like them, will help dramatically. Until then, I hope you won't expect any sparkling prose. Because I am shot.

Simple Pleasures

2011-04-17T12:15:00.004+08:00

Living again in the U.S. after nearly 4 years, there a number of small things which catch me off guard and make me happy. A few examples:

- the price of snack foods;
- the milkshakes they sell across the street;
- driving;
- planning menus, and knowing that I can make anything in the cookbook, because all ingredients will be available at the store;
- unrestricted access to the internet;
- big closets and sufficient storage space;
- the bright blue sky;
- the bright green grass;
- chatting with the cashier;
- effectively and fluently communicating with our apartment management;
- reading street signs;
- the library;
- public parks and playgrounds;
- the children's program at the church around the corner;
- the number of television stations in English;
- the amount of green space and thick trees.

And the pleasant surprise which continues to get me - how diverse the population of Northern Virginia is. I'm not sure if this is all of America, or specifically or new community. But as white kids, ours are often in the minority. At restaurants, in the mall, in her preschool classroom, the faces are not all white and not everyone speaks English.

The Mobile Curse

2011-04-15T12:21:00.003+08:00

I seem to be under some sort of wretched curse. Maybe not me, but rather my cell phones. Each cell phone I have had for the past 4 years has fallen under the curse. I can't remember the details of the first few, because I had not yet realized the cloud they lie under. I know that I left one in a taxi within weeks of having initially arrived in Shanghai. It never came back. The curse became quite apparent when we lived in our little lane house in Shanghai. While everyone else could hold conversations on their phones within my house, somehow I could not. To accept a phone call, I had to step out into the lane. Young children made this rather irresponsible, and rain made this quite miserable. One rather awful afternoon, trying to complain to my husband, I became fed up with my inability to communicate my sob stories effectively and threw the phone across the room.

It didn't come back.

Dave thought me rather irresponsible, and forbade me buy a new phone. He gave me his old one, with all of the numbers worn off. It did seem to get better coverage, but was rather miserable to use.

After a while, I searched my friends' closets for spare phones. Plenty of folks had them, and one friend was happy to hand hers out. With this, I moved onto another old phone. Its numbers weren't worn off, but it did have some funny quirks. For instance, I couldn't lock the keypad, which led to some rather annoying butt-dialing. I doggedly stuck with this phone for months. And then, I lost all of my baby weight in sight of Christmas. I decided to combine the two, and get myself a good phone.

We crossed into Hong Kong this December, and picked out a lovely little mobile phone. A skinny little Nokia with wireless ability, a good camera and a keypad. A quality phone costing me about $300.

It didn't work.

I didn't realize it for a few weeks - I thought maybe it was just slow, and still warming up. I thought this until one day the phone simply wouldn't turn on. It never did again. But since I bought it in Hong Kong, I couldn't take it back until the next time I went to Hong Kong in early February. The shop sent it back on the warranty. I got it back the next time I went to Hong Kong, in late February.

Finally, I had a good phone!

And it really was good. It worked beautifully, carried calls well, locked without any trouble, woke me up in the morning, and generally made me happy by allowing me to never think about my phone.

This lasted about 4 weeks, because then we moved to America. I had to wait a week for my new SIM card to arrive. A bit of a mess bringing an unlocked mobile phone into America, but we had it figured out and bought the SIM cards and the calling plans up front. I was online again, and began stocking my phone with American phone numbers.

One week later, I spent a late evening out with friends and made a nasty spill on my jeans. Home at 3am, I peeled off the jeans and threw them straight into the washer. Sadly, the phone went along with it. After spending the next day attached to a vaccuum, and the next week in a bag of rice, the phone was still dead.

Dave thought me rather irresponsible, and forbade me buy a new phone. I picked up a cheapie at Best Buy to last me through the vaccuum and the rice, and the junkiness of it drove me so crazy that I begged him to change his mind. One more phone - please. This time my choices were less, though. Only a few unlocked phones are available on the American market, and the Nokias all looked cheap. So I picked a Blackberry, and chose expedited shipping so that I could get on with my mobile and my life.

It arrived today.

It doesn't work.

Just thinking about it makes me want to scream.

Non Sequiturs from an EFM

2011-04-15T12:10:00.003+08:00

Welcome to the world of abbreviations. EFM stands for Eligible Family Member, and its what I and the girls are to the government. Eligible for all sorts of benefits because we are inextricably linked to a Foreign Service Officer.

Dave sat for a Mandarin exam, and scored a 1 out of 5. That's really pretty good, especially considering he quit studying over two months ago, and never worked at it full time. This makes a Chinese post in our future quite likely. Dave would like it to be soon, while he still remembers it. I'd like to get at least one post in between.

We turned in the Bid List on Tuesday morning. Because of the timing issues pertinent to the adoption, I don't feel we really had much say in the matter. We eliminated quite a few because the language training would take us too close to our suspected Gotcha date. Dave starred a few because the jobs are in his cone (economic) or in his regions of interest (Africa or India and Southeast Asia). But those of you lovers of Latin America who were hoping to sleep on our couch, don't worry yet. Having promised worldwide availability, we could be off for anywhere.

Overall, the transition to our newest home is going quite well. Adding in some structure for the girls today saw their behavior toward me improve markedly. Now we just need to add in some playmates, to see their behavior toward each other improve. That should happen quickly. We'll see friends this weekend, and go to church. I keep running into State Department families as I'm out. Between all of these social settings, they ought to exercise their social skills well.

Dave's away for these few nights, which is pretty crummy. I find Fairfax County easy to get lost in, and accomplishing anything with three little girls in tow rather difficult. I am crossing things off my To Do List with remarkable speed, really. We now have health insurance, which is an immense relief. Also appointments with dentists and pediatricians. Sophia is enrolled in school, and Lilly will be after her physical next week. But I'm also longing for some neighbors to simply gather with at the playground. Although our apartment and location are quite nice here in the overflow apartments, I am beginning to wish that we'd been placed in the State Department's standard temporary housing. Hopefully my spirits will rise when Dave returns tomorrow night.

The Things We Do for Our Kids

2011-04-14T11:28:00.002+08:00

It has been a whirlwind of a week. Not so much for me - I'm having a pretty good time. But for the kids, this week has been a doozy.

After spending 2 weeks with my parents and without Dave in St. Louis, we drove all weekend and arrived in the apartment on Sunday night. We've enrolled Sophia in a fabulous Montessori school which kept her smiling all through the visit this morning. We've nearly enrolled Lilly in the local public school. We've been to the local library, Target and McDonalds. We've checked out the nearest playground to the right. Plans for tomorrow include checking out the nearest playground to the left. We've been reunited with our toys from China, and we've played with good friends from Shanghai. We have plans with the girls' second cousins this weekend - also girls, and nearly the same age.

And we have seen some truly atrocious behavior.

This is more than simple stress. We are seeing Lilly regularly lose control and receive severe punishments for what began as very small crimes. Sophia claims to hate everything around her, and cries "not fair!" at the drop of a hat. I worry that my kids are missing their routine. They say that kids crave structure, and I've always hoped its not true because I really don't crave structure or routine at all. I'm pretty happy to plan my day one hour at a time, and that's about what this week has looked like.

Maybe the rest of the week needs to look more like this.

8am - Mom wakes up
8:30am - Girls begin to wake up
9:30am - Everyone out the door
Noon - Everyone back in the door for lunch
1:00 - Annika begins her nap, and older girls begin quiet time
3:00 - Annika finishes her nap, and we all head to the playground
5:00 - Back in for free play while Mom begins making dinner

Sounds boring - especially when you layer in the mounds of laundry, dishwashing and iron I now have to do myself. But if this makes us through the next few weeks, I should be happy. Especially because in about 2 weeks, we learn where and when we move out of this apartment. Another layer of stress and change to add to these poor little girls' lives. I had been rooting for a D.C. post, allowing us to live in town for another year and a half or so. Both girls could stay in the same school for more than one full school year - a record for either child. But then I looked up housing in this school district. Holy crap! Should we stay in DC, we'll have to answer which would be better for the girls - the same school for Lilly and cramming our growing family into a tiny apartment, or moving to a new school (again) further out and still spending too much money every month, but at least having a reasonable amount of space.

About To Go

2011-04-09T13:35:00.001+08:00

After a week in Chicago, and another 2 weeks in St. Louis, the family will set off for D.C. tomorrow morning. It sounds as if the government will not shut down on Monday, so we need to arrive on Sunday night. It should be a fun drive!

The Bid List

2011-04-02T20:25:00.003+08:00

After waiting and eagerly anticipating The Bid List for the past two years or so, I'd be happy to just get rid of it now, after having only had it in hand for a few short days.

A brief primer on initial bidding for Foreign Service Officers.

A few days into his employment for the State Department, Dave and his classmates received a list of international cities. I can't share much detail on this list - it is sensitive (how cool is that?!). There are a few more posts than there are people in the class, which makes the list rather daunting. Especially because of how spare the list is.

Our task is to take this list, and rank each job on the list either High, Medium or Low.

I have said that its a list of international cities, and that we're supposed to rank each job. This is part of the challenge of The Bid List. Although it is technically a list of positions available, we have precious few details on the job itself. So, the list may have Cozumel, Mexico listed three times. That means that they'll be sending three people to Cozumel. Other details include the expected start date, and the required language training.

With this spare base, we begin our own personal research. Here is our Bidding Strategy.

We hope and expect to pick up Mei Mei from China in late November or early December this year. I desire very strongly to arrive at post much earlier than that, so we all have time to adjust to our new surroundings, our new home and schools, our new language and possibly our new household help before we add this new little baby into the mix. We simply do not need so many life changing events in such close proximity. If you're not feeling sympathy for us yet, that will include:

1 - new job for Dave,
2 - new school for Lilly and Sophia,
3 - new home for each of us,
4 - new country for each of us,
5 - likely a new language and certainly a new culture for each of us, and
6 - new baby entering the family in a highly traumatic fashion.

So, insofar as we can, we have eliminated any posts which begin between Oct. 1st and Jan. 31st. And by eliminate, I mean that we have ranked them as Low.

Next, we went through and pulled out anything that seemed particularly exciting. A number of the jobs do have small job descriptions, and Dave highlighted a few of them. A few of the posts are in places we would love to live, and so we highlighted them as well. That makes up our High list.

And everything else is currently ranked as Medium.

This feels like the lazy family's way to choose where next to live, but I think I may just leave the list as it is now. I could certainly do more research, and learn which posts have a long commute to school or have poisonous spiders habitually making residence in people's shoes. But I'm not sure that I want to. With worldwide availability, we may well be going to the places that I've eliminated. I don't think I want to allow myself to eliminate anymore posts.

So, our Bidding Priorities are Timing first, and Job second. With Worldwide Availability and the needs of the service trumping all.

Worldwide Availability

2011-04-01T20:26:00.002+08:00

I'm not really a stress eater; but at the end of the day yesterday, what I really needed was a cheeseburger, fries and a tall chocolate milkshake. Happily, we've got a fantastic burger place across the street from our home here in Virginia, and I had that need met by 7pm. It may have been partly because I had a small lunch, and a really small breakfast. But I'd say it was also because I spent a rather exhausting day playing Diplomat. Yesterday morning, I woke with Dave and dressed up like a grownup - jewelry, makeup, and all. I took the shuttle with him to the Foreign Service Institute, where he turned right to attend his Diplomat Training and I turned left to attend my Spouse or Partner Training.

I sat in a room with wives, husbands, partners and fiances and learned how to be a Diplomat's Wife. We heard from the Transition Center, who is there to help us through every transition, be it from real life to FS life, from FS life to retirement, or from old post to new post. We heard from the Overseas Briefing Center, who has files and videos and books and briefings on every place we could possibly go. And we could possibly go to anyplace that has an embassy or a consulate. We could go practically anywhere. We heard from a lot of other folks as well, who drilled a number of things into us. Here are my personal takeaways from the day:

- When Dave took his oath of office, he promised to be Worldwide Available. So we could be going nearly anywhere, whether we want to or not.

- The Foreign Service takes the needs of the family very seriously. They had this training for spouses and partners this morning. They hold many other trainings which I am welcome to participate in, up to and including job training and language training at FSI.

- The Foreign Service takes care of families well. We will live in safe housing; our children will have access to the best schools in the area; we have free access to a wide array of support systems; we can begin language training online at any point for free. The list goes on, but also includes some very key intangibles. The people of the Foreign Service have clearly developed a strong community, where our neighbors (who will also be Dave's co-workers) will support us and there will be a community wherever we go. This is a unique lifestyle, and they work to make it a supported and adventurous one.

- We will likely be evacuated at least once from our post and our home. Folks who were posted in Cairo and Tokyo likely never thought they be evacuated, but are now living temporarily in the states. They will likely get all of their household stuff back at some point. Folks who were posted in Tripoli, Libya had to leave within about 24 hours with what they could carry, and will likely never see the rest of their stuff again.

- Dave will likely serve at an unaccompanied post at some point in his career. He will be kept safe, likely having good access to doctors and pharmacies and a very strong community in a very interesting workplace. Our kids will likely be invited to DC at the end of his tour, and presented with a medal by the Secretary of State for the sacrifices they are making for their country.

- The number one cause of death among families living overseas is not terrorism or street violence, but simple traffic accidents. No different from home, really.

- If we live somewhere with malaria, we should take the malaria prophylaxis every day the entire time. Because malaria kills people.

- And again, Worldwide Availability. Although they will take our needs and desires strongly into account, Worldwide Availability means that the needs of the service trump the needs of the individual. He is a civilian, but he is also duty bound and will be directed where the government needs him.

And with that, we spent the night poring over The Bid List.

The Bid List is the document that I have been eagerly awaiting since Dave began this entire job process, over two years ago. Our Bid List contains a few more posts than there are people in his class, and every one of his classmates will go somewhere on this list. Its a long list, and as overwhelming as everything else listed above. And our job over the next week or so is to rank every single post on the list, High, Medium or Low. We need a Bidding Strategy, and it should be rather transparent to help the Career Development Officers make the decision that fits best with our personal wants and needs. Right now, we need to learn as much about each post as possible, to be able to eliminate or star a large number of cities which I have never even heard of. I say "eliminate" rather loosely, because he does have Worldwide Availability.

We've begun to put together our Bidding Strategy, made more clear by our hope to pick up Mei Mei at the end of this calendar year. And we've begun to research the posts a bit, putting down simple facts that make one place more desirable than another - e.g. does it have an English elementary school nearby?

It was an overwhelming day, to say the least. The day left me feeling great about all of the interesting people going on this adventure alongside us, and feeling awesome about the State Department's general attitude toward the families of Foreign Service Officers. Just overwhelmed, and ready for a burger and a long sleep. I'm not sure how Dave is making it through this week, and the coming 4 weeks without putting on an easy 10 pounds.

Exploring the Neighborhood

2011-03-31T02:02:00.003+08:00

After unpacking all of the boxes this morning (it was a small shipment), I went out to grab some lunch. After over a week of America, it felt nice to walk somewhere. Back in my China life, I haven't had a car for two years and so I walked nearly everywhere I went. Even though the school and the grocery store were both close by in Shenzhen, it still felt nice to use my legs whenever I left home. Living with our parents for the past few weeks, I've been doing a lot of jumping in the car to run errands. So the walk today felt good - and how many things I passed felt even better.

I am ashamed to admit that I walked past a number of little local places and ethnic lunch spots to grab my sandwich at Panera (sidenote: I can type it, but I can not actually adjust to saying that name aloud. In my vernacular, its still the Bread Co.). Taking a leisurely walk back, I picked up delivery and take-out menus at Thai, Japanese and Vietnamese places, also passing a diner, a pancake house, and a micro-brewery. I browsed inside the vintage shop, spent some money at the fabulous toy store, and then ducked into CVS. I'd say my only complaint about the neighborhood is the lack of grocery store within walking distance.

Dave and I walked the other direction last night, where we explored a few parks with playgrounds, and found a strip of Latin American hole-in-the-wall eateries as well as a bike shop, a camera shop, and a small Hispanic grocer. I believe that we also have a public library, a farmer's market and few other parks within walking distance as well. And both a tasty pizza place and a super-tasty burger and milkshake spot are a stone's throw away.

I can use the car to run to Target or do the grocery trip. But I am pleased that I'll be able to walk out to lunch, order delivery for dinner, and take the girls via stroller or bike to buy birthday presents or hang out at the park. I think we're going to like Northern Virginia just fine.

Author's Note: You can tell a few things about the author by what I write.
#1 - That I have posted twice today, and rarely for the last few weeks shows that I've been by myself all day today, and not at all for the past few weeks.
#2 - That I have discussed the apartment and the neighborhood, but not the new job shows that I am the stay-at-home mom and not the now gainfully employed Foreign Service Officer. Dave started training on Monday, is very impressed by all 88 of his classmates, and is looking forward to a quite compressed series of seminars and workshops over the next 6 weeks.

Moving In

2011-03-30T20:20:00.003+08:00

After about a month of Moving Out, we have now moved on to Moving In. Now, please don't misunderstand. We have not yet finished Moving Out. We have just also begun to Move In. I realize I've been not posting much lately - not only is Moving exhausting with 3 young kids, but there's also stuff on TV practically all the time!

So, about 2 weeks ago we Moved Out of Shenzhen. The Air Shipment left on a Wednesday, about 250 pounds short of what we were allocated. The Sea Shipment left on Friday, and we spent our last week in Shenzhen eating off of paper plates and sleeping in sleeping bags (thanks, Michelle!). We no longer own anything in China. Well, except two bank accounts, which we could not figure out how to close. But at least they're empty.

Last week, the next batch of Moving Out took place at the culmination of a lovely week in Chicago. The girls got some good cousin time, we all went to a great 30th birthday party, and we filled up a U-Haul and drove to St. Louis. We no longer own anything in Chicago. Well, except some hangers and shampoo.

Next week, we will Move Out of St. Louis, both with professional movers and with a full mini-van driving to D.C. But right now, we own lots of stuff in St. Louis - including all of our children, who are spending the week with Nana and Poppa.

But today, we are Moving In. It relaxes me to feel like I am in my own space, and like I will have my own things soon. And my own space is not so bad. I arrived in DC yesterday, following Dave's Saturday arrival. I'm in our new apartment and waiting for our Air Shipment to arrive, sometime in the next hour and a half. The apartment feels like a spacious hotel room, a bit dark, a bit neutral, and pretty sterile. But also comfortable and a good use of space. We've got a washer-dryer; we've got a dishwasher; we've got weekly housekeeping service who will change our linens; and Annika has her own bedroom.

The movers have just arrived - here we go!

Under the Surface

2011-03-25T03:15:00.003+08:00

Our family enjoyed dinner with Jane, Tim and Elizabeth a few nights ago. Amid the conversation, Tim asked Dave and I what we will miss most about living China. Lilly didn't miss a beat. "I will miss my friends." Made any other answer I could give seem superficial, and gave a small peek into her heart these days.

This morning, she was listening to recordings of Sandra Boynton's music. If you have young kids, you need to know about Sandra Boynton. Her books are very cute, and her music is catchy and fun. We've got a pile of her board books and one of her albums, but Lilly was listening to some new songs this morning. Off of the Rhinoceros Tap CD, she was listening to So Long, Doggies. Here's a sample of the lyrics:

So long and farewell to my puppy dog friends.
We've had some good times, but here's where it ends.
I don't wanna chase rabbits, and I don't wanna play.
I just came here to tell you that I'm going away.
We've been running in circles; enough is enough.
Staying around is just ruff, ruff, ruff!
So long, doggies; doggies, goodbye.
I'm going away, and I'm telling you why.
I'm tired of barking up the wrong, wrong tree.
I've got places to go, and places to see, and that's why
I'm saying so long doggies, good-bye...

She pulled me over for the following conversation:

Lilly: Mommy, you've got to listen to this song. Its really sad.

Mommy (absently): Okay, go ahead and play it.

music playing

Mommy: Yeah, that's a great song.

Lilly: Its really sad.

Mommy: Yeah, it is really sad.

Lilly: Its so sad it makes me cry. Why does he have to leave his friends?

Mommy (much less absently - Lilly really is crying): It is sad to leave your friends, but it sounds like he wanted to leave because he had somewhere exciting to go.

Lilly: Yeah, but he sounds really mean. Why does he have to leave? Won't he miss his friends?

Mommy: We all miss our friends when we move. I know your friends in Shenzhen all miss you, and you miss all of them. But we have so many exciting things coming up, and so many friends we're going to see in D.C. Think of William and Jack, and of Layla and Ella. And think of all the friends you'll make once we get there!

Lilly (pausing): Yeah, but what about the puppies?

Insured

2011-03-23T10:25:00.003+08:00

With the last few clicks I just made, our family is now insured for the next month and a half. We got caught in a nasty little health insurance loophole, which was making Dave and I pretty nervous. Uncle H-- provided our family's health insurance for the past 3 years in China. But as Dave is no longer employed with Uncle H--, we are no longer insured. Technically, Dave's on payroll through the end of March, and so we are currently covered.

With most jobs, this would not be a problem. Dave begins work as a State Department employee on March 28th, so the health coverage ought to overlap and keep us healthy. However, our government bureaucracy does not operate so smoothly. Dave will sign up for health insurance sometime during the first week of work, and that coverage will begin once the company has completed all of the paperwork. This coverage is not retroactive.

Most employees can use COBRA for the intermediate time period, and be safe from financial and medical disaster. But as Dave's been insured and employed from China, COBRA doesn't cover us.

The next option is to sign up for Short-Term Catastrophic health insurance. We could pay a few hundred dollars for a high deductible and the process that a car wreck wouldn't bankrupt our family. But no insurance company would accept our family, because we are in the process of adopting. No matter that we will not receive Mei Mei while under their policy - the promise that we could made us too high risk to be insured.

We looked into travel insurance, but that's only available to non-U.S. citizens. You may not know, but only a fool or a poor person would dare enter the United States without travel insurance.

We began to worry that we would have to go without insurance for the next month - a dare which seemed to risky to accept. Then Dave got in touch with an health insurance broker, who found something specifically for repatriating citizens. For $240 a month, our family is covered after the first $25,000 - that is, $5,000 per person. Its a steep cost for peace of mind, but at least we ought not end up bankrupted over an accident in the next month.

The confirmation of health insurance was a big Phew! moment. Other moments of relief today - when we drove our new mini-van off the lot; Dave and I are now the proud owners of a Honda Odyssey. I printed directly from my computer today. I accessed Facebook and Blogger.com from my iPad today. We signed our lease in D.C. today, receiving our new address and home phone number. And we took steps toward securing new SIM cards, thereby making our mobile phones accessible in the U.S. Unfortunately, this process is moving slower than we would like. Still, its a good list for one day.

Makes me feel alright about going to bed at 9:30pm. That, and having been up with Annika from 2:00am until 5 this morning.

Maintaining Flexibility

2011-03-21T02:29:00.002+08:00

When Dave and I went out to DC in January, we took a look at the apartment complex where most trainees are placed. As we'll live in DC only temporarily, the State Department sets it up as a business trip and arranges our housing for us. Dave and I went to the complex and took a look around. The staff even gave us a tour of an apartment. We weren't excited about the size of the 2-bedroom apartment, which was the largest option available. But the community seemed fantastic. Clearly this was housing aimed at Foreign Service Officers and their temporary families. The girls could make friends quickly with other kids in the same situation, playing on the playground in the middle of the complex or swimming in the pool.

We just learned yesterday that we have been moved. We are no longer at the typical Falls Church location. We've been upgraded to a 3-bedroom apartment, also in Falls Church. This is good news for many reasons - the apartment is much bigger, and well appointed. Its closer to the school, and within walking distance of the downtown area. In many ways it seems like a perfect fit for us, so I'm feeling pretty good about it.

But I was looking forward to that ready-made community. I wanted to make fast-friends with my neighbors and see the girls play with the other kids in the complex. I haven't come across any other new families moving into our amended location, which has me a bit nervous.

Mainly, the change just makes me want to hurry up and get there. I want to see the place, and get moved in. I want to see how many families live there, and to check out the neighborhood. I want to gather information and begin to get settled.

Soon enough, I know. But with this change, I'm now itching to go.

In the Nick of Time

2011-03-17T09:30:00.003+08:00

Rumor has it that the May A-100 class has been cancelled.

A-100 is the casual name for the training course Dave begins on March 28th. After the March class, the next class scheduled was in May. However, apparently the lack of a 2011 budget means there is no money for hiring new diplomats in May.

The personal implications of this rumor are dramatic relief. Dave was likely one of the very last people invited to the March class, and he received the call in a last minute batch of invitations. Had he missed that call, we would not be on our way to D.C. anytime soon.

The implications for the Foreign Service as a whole are pretty bad. Staffing at each post relies upon new hires coming in at each class. Our bid list will detail enough positions for everyone in the class. Those positions will otherwise sit empty. I doubt there is a time when diplomats do not fill a very necessary function within a country's government. But in the current international climate, the State Department certainly seems like a place which ought to receive full funding.

Last Night in China

2011-03-16T22:26:00.003+08:00

This is it - our last night in China. Tomorrow we sleep in Hong Kong, and then Friday morning we fly to Chicago. And although Dave and I expect to return to China in 9 months or so to pick up Mei Mei, we may never live here again. And Lilly, Sophia and Annika may never come here again.

We have finished well. We had a comfortable home, good friends and a strong school these past 6 months. We gave up the temporary attitudes, and fully lived in Shenzhen for the entire time we were here. It seems strange that it has only been 6 months, because I feel so fully at home here.

We sold or gave away everything we do not need. We packed the air freight and the sea shipment with exactly what I wanted, and we will leave with less than our luggage allotment tomorrow. The house is clean and the bags are packed. We had Chinese food for dinner, and the girls will have their good-bye parties in each of their classrooms tomorrow.

After much worrying, we managed to move all of our Chinese Yuan into dollars, and will be carrying about $8,000 in cash with us tomorrow. Keep that quiet, though.

I've been wanting to blog about the banking system here for quite some time, because it is absurd. We faced so many problems with the banks, and I could never bring myself to write about it. I could never bring the list of absurdities to a complete story, and I could never separate myself enough from the frustration of dealing with the bank to even attempt the story. But today, all went surprisingly well - as it only can in China.

China is a land of rules, and of people who love to enforce them. But people who are also just as eager to break these rules. We went to the bank on Monday to exchange our cash. Our understanding was that each individual can exchange $5,000 US with no questions asked. On this particular Monday, this was not the case. On this particular Monday, each individual can exchange only $500 US with no questions asked. By these rules, we would be leaving a large amount of money behind when we leave tomorrow, so we explored other options. According to the teller, Dave only needed an official copy of his contract to change as much money as he liked. He sent the request in to Uncle H--'s HR, and waited the two days for the document to arrive in the mail.

Today, the envelope arrived at our door, and we went straight to the Bank of China. We opened the contract, and noticed that they had sent a photocopy without the company chop. The chop makes the document valid - without it, these papers are of no use. According to the rules, we could not possibly change our money. But when Dave told them we will leave tomorrow, the chop was of little consequence. We were soon handed a very large pile of bills, and walked out without asking any questions.

This story is less crazy, and more typical China - and lucky for us. Absurdities include things like the number of forms being used for simple transactions - and the fact that a form must be completely redone if any corrections must be made, including crossing a "t" too darkly. They include things like the bank having a bill counting machine, because the largest bill of 100 RMB is equivalent to less than $15. They have a bill counting machine, but no change counting machines, and picked out by hand the change pile we delivered this afternoon. Absurd in that they have no list showing the Chinese and English names of the banks - so when I completed my form (without errors) and entered the official English name of the bank we needed to wire transfer money to, the teller had to call around a group of friends to try to guess which bank I referred to. Absurd in that I was allowed either a passbook or a debit card, but not both. Absurd in that although each teller has a computer, they only seem to use it to verify my identity (at least they do that much), and that most drawers are filled with scrap pieces of paper for making notes. Oh, I could keep going, but who would want me to?

I am happy we are going to D.C., and I am looking forward to living in America for a while. I have become accustomed to China, and so am excited more about the new destination than about leaving this one. But the banks? I am quite happy to leave the Bank of China behind, with all of my cash in my pocket.

Sweetly Reminder

2011-03-15T23:08:00.002+08:00

We live in a bit of a resort, here in Shenzhen. We are on the far outskirts of town, inside a gated community designed specifically for expatriates. The management here are fully Chinese, and they run the place as such - total dis-empowerment of front-line staff, and no explanation for strange and degrading policies. But they also take care of us as if we are dunces, appropriate for many of us waiguoren (foreigners). A friend referred to China as Wonderland - you can neither predict nor explain what might happen next.

The management delivered this notice to us this evening:

URGENCY

Sweetly Reminder

To: Tenants
From: Management Center
Date: March 15th, 2011

Dear tenants,

Temperatures in Shenzhen will drop to minimum 11 degrees Celsius tomorrow, due to a cold front from the north. The cold will start to affect the city from March 16th, it will be warmer from 17th, the city will see a heavy rain during 18th until 20th, the city's meteorological observatory said. Please put on more clothes and keep warm.
Management Center

Validity: from March 15th 2011 to 20th 2011

Just to be clear, this is an announcement to "put on more clothes and keep warm" because the low temperatures will be in the fifties for the next few days.

I Heart Moving

2011-03-13T22:27:00.002+08:00

You may think I'm crazy, but I really enjoy moving. I enjoy all aspects of it - from the change of scenery to the actual packing of boxes. I've run on high energy these last few weeks, managing the logistics of a complicated household move, and thriving on the task. In fact, I'm becoming convinced that moving is good for you. Here's why:

Moving instead of The Gym
As a special treat to myself, and also to help a friend build her business, I had a personal trainer at the gym for the past few months. She's a good trainer, and I felt myself growing stronger and fitting into my jeans better. I ate well, I exercised three times a week, and I had a healthy body.
But now that I've entered into Moving Mode, my jeans are practically falling off. Something about the stress of moving seems to burn calories like nobody's business. This although our kitchen is fully packed, leaving behind plenty of food but no dishes to prepare it with. We're eating a lot of meals out, and in Shenzhen that means we're eating a lot of bad food. My stomach's not always happy at the end of the day, but my waistline seems to be doing quite well.

Moving to Purge
I suppose some people move in a much quicker fashion, where they simply box everything they own and send it off to the next house, where those boxes arrive a few days later. Our move is nothing like that. We have a list of items which can not move in either shipment - this includes food and liquids, providing a great time to purge the kitchen and bathroom of items which have sat on the shelf for far too long. Sadly, we also purge the kitchen of half-full bags of flour and opened containers of food coloring. Still, the clean-out is refreshing. And it goes beyond the perishables. Why move a baby swing when we won't have anymore infants in our family? Out it goes. Why carry around books we have already read? Out they go. We have moved every year, and each time I enjoy clearing out the things that we rarely use.

Moving to Simplify
Purging certainly simplifies, by causing me to think through which items I actually want and use on a regular basis. But this in-between time is a lovely exercise is simple living as well. We're living in our home this week, but as if we were living in a hotel. I've already packed our blankets and towels, all of our dishes, and all of the books and toys. Using the kitchen with only a few spare items, most of which are broken, proves to be an interesting challenge. Watching the girls play outside with sticks, flowers, and socks is beautiful.

Moving to Value Others
Saying good-bye is certainly the hardest thing about moving. And moving regularly makes saying good-bye all the more bittersweet, because we have no illusions of staying in regular contact or living as neighbors ever again. By the grace of God, I have made some true friends in our short time living in Shenzhen, whom I will be sad to leave. I am not callous about this, and I am aware of the challenges each member of our family faces by leaving our friends behind every few years. However, moving provides a pleasant opportunity to express to your friends how much you value them. These last few weeks, I find myself chatting with the same people as always, and enjoying all of our neighbors and companions just as much as ever - I have not really checked out. But I also have no real need for lunches and coffees with people I don't know very well. I am fully aware of who my close friends are, and I am coveting my time with each of those people. Further, I have the opportunity to tell them and to make time for them during a busy season.

Moving to Break Out of that Comfort Zone
The number one reason to move every few years is because we live in an exciting and varied world, and what fun to explore a new place! I am giddy with excitement about living in the D.C. area. So many sights to explore in the district; so many parks, libraries and restaurants to enjoy in Northern Virginia; and so many places to hike, swim or daytrip in the Mid-Atlantic. My only regret is that we won't have enough weekends or gas money to visit all of the fun places! But this regret is well tempered by the place we'll move next. Wherever it is, we'll be studying up on the local sights for months beforehand and hit the ground eager to explore our new neighborhood.

Officially Unemployed

2011-03-12T00:49:00.002+08:00

Apparently, its not actually official. Officially, Dave is now on vacation through the rest of the month. But he won't be going into work anymore. He doesn't have a laptop anymore. And he had to turn in his blackberry. Hip Hip Hooray!

It was quite an eventful day, really, as the sea shipment left this afternoon as well. My mom and I handled the movers and the packing list quite smoothly, and I finished the day feeling relaxed and at ease about the whole situation.

The girls are showing signs of stress this week, which means that the weekend is devoted primarily to making them comfortable. Sophia worries about making new friends, and Lilly seems worried about liking her new teacher. The Parental Plan is to take the focus off of the new home in D.C. for now, and bring the excitement around to spending next week in Chicago, playing with cousins, and surrounded by family.

Ready As I'll Ever Be

2011-03-11T00:34:00.002+08:00

The air freight left yesterday afternoon, and is slowly en route to our place in Washington, D.C. Turns out we got screwed out of about 1/3 of our total weight allowance, because the shippers didn't know what they were doing. Bummer - but I got everything that I felt I needed.

The sea shipment gets packed up tomorrow, and this will be a different kind of stress. My weight limit is 18,000 pounds, which I will come nowhere near meeting. So I have no stress about leaving anything behind - that was the fear yesterday with the air freight. The stress tomorrow centers around control. Being a bit of a Control Freak, it drives me crazy that 12 men will swarm my little house tomorrow and pack things wherever they see fit. I've got things packed and washed and sorted, and sitting in very organized piles. The holiday decorations are in a pile. The toys are in a corner. The baby gear is in a clump. My stress level at this point lies primarily in wondering how much those 12 men will care about my little piles.

Because this move is very different from your typical change of house. In your typical change of house, everything piles into a van for a few days. Then you unload it all in the new house. You've got lots of boxes to unpack and damage to inspect, but you're back in control of your possessions again. Easy as that. That is not how this move will work.

When our shipment leaves our house tomorrow, it will move to the port of Shekou and sit there until it can clear customs. Once it has permission to leave China, it will move onto a boat piled high with other containers, and sit in the bay until that boat is full enough to sail. Then it'll make its way slowly across the world to a warehouse in Maryland. My things will sit inside their boxes, inside their crates, inside that warehouse, inside of Maryland until we leave the United States. Once we pack up to go to the next post, wherever that may be, we will give the all clear for each of our boxes to leave Maryland, hop back through U.S. customs and head off on another boat toward another country. Probably about 2 months after we arrive in our new home, the stuff that currently surrounds me will arrive.

Here's where it gets tricky.

Should my container fall off of the boat, should that warehouse catch on fire, or should a few of my boxes be grabbed by pirates en route to that next post (all entirely possible), I need to be able to make an insurance claim. I'll need to be able to tell someone exactly what I lost, and how much money they should give me for it. More than that - I'll really want to document what was lost with a well completed packing list. The packing list serves as proof of what I own.

So tomorrow, my mother and Annika and I may frantically tail 12 men as they pack things into random boxes, doing our best to label them accurately. I do have a complete inventory of our household items (bet very few of my readers can say that!), but I still feel the need for that documentation on the packing list.

This is what's keeping me awake right now. Once it all leaves my house tomorrow night, I expect to crash, and hope to sleep for a long time.

Air Shipment - Moving day #1

2011-03-09T08:26:00.003+08:00

The air shipment gets packed today, and the living room has been entirely disassembled. The girls packed their lunches in plastic bags today, and we're each wearing whatever sat on top of our bags. I feel pretty confident that we can fit in everything we want - a few dishes, a few books, a few blankets, a few toys, and a lot of clothes to fill our little apartment in D.C. for the next year. May have to jettison the bikes, but I believe that all other things are go.

Thank goodness Nana and Poppa have been here for the last week - they will stay until next week. How would I have packed the house, and managed the kids and the kitchen at the same time? Dave's last day with Uncle H-- will be Friday. What a disaster this week would have been!

Moving Right Along

2011-03-08T08:25:00.002+08:00

All is moving according to schedule, and thank goodness. After a relaxing weekend in Hong Kong with the parents (where we stepped off the bus right into this protest), we came back to jump right into a busy packing week. We're dealing with customs and with things going three different directions, and so today I'm tearing apart the house to prepare to packers to arrive tomorrow.

Dave finishes work on Friday, just as the last shippers leave the house. We'll fly out next week, after a crazy week of camping out in the house, eating off of paper plates, closing out bank accounts and seeing friends for the last time. A good-bye party in each classroom, and then we'll be off.

So far, Sophia is showing quite a few signs of struggling but everyone else seems happy and well-adjusted. We'll see how a broken down house effects them. But as it means they'll all be sleeping in our bed for a while, I doubt anyone will mind too much.