TCK

I like to indulge myself, thinking about how different my childhood was from the childhood of my own kids.  I suppose that's normal - my childhood was certainly different from that of my parents.  But I still find it striking how many parts of their young lives I will not be able to identify with.

As Third Culture Kids (TCKs), our kids fall into this psychological category of people who grew up outside of their passport country, away from their parents' homeland, and as foreigners in their resident state.  Add on the complications of moving every few years, and you can begin life as my children as well.

But don't worry - although there are some pretty typical psychological responses, there are also loads of benefits of this life.  And I'm meeting plenty of young adults (and older adults) who grew up abroad and are not only well-balanced but also pretty enjoyable.

This little video got me thinking about it:


So Where's Home? A Film About Third Culture Kid Identity from Adrian Bautista on Vimeo.

Culmination

After nearly 4 years living in China, Dave began working on China within a few weeks of his new job with the State Department.  Since last May, he has been working in the Democracy, Human Rights and Labor section with a focus on China.  He's enjoying the chance to focus on China more academically and politically, and certainly to think about their human rights issues.  He's becoming an Old China Hand.

He finishes the job in less than a month - which may disqualify him from eligibility as an Old China Hand; I assume Old is more than 5 years.  Anyway, he finishes this job in a few weeks, and will happily finish his work on a trip to China.  Dave leave this Sunday for 2 weeks in the middle kingdom.  He's busy preparing for the trip, and looking forward to his time there.  He'll catch up with his coworkers, and have a very different work day than he did while we lived there.

I'll admit that I'm a little jealous.  The girls are, too.  We're not really wishing we could relive so many Chinese experiences - I remember well the bad customer service, crazy driving, and people spitting on the sidewalks.  But we're all a bit reminiscent of our old lives.  Going back to China feels like going home.  I think that's why we're jealous.

Although, there are certainly things that I miss. 

I miss the food.  Chinese food is fabulous.  The stuff they sell on the streets is cheap, flavorful, and often healthy.  The stuff Wendy made was always amazing, so much healthier than what I cook, and so cheap - plus, I got to eat it with Wendy every day.  The restaurants were yummy - both the local Chinese places, and the world-class Western places.  The produce was big and fresh and cheap.  Grocery delivery was free.

I miss the lifestyle.  We lived in an urban city, and we really lived in the heart of it.  We walked whenever we could, and we metro-ed the rest of the time.  We did occasionally have a driver, but used him primarily for the school commute.  We walked to the grocery store and the markets, to the park with the carnival rides on weekends, and to the many restaurants in our neighborhood.

I miss the housekeeping.  Although I don't miss the cockroaches or the rats, the peeling paint or the dysfunctional heaters, the bad landlords and the squirrely agents, I do miss having a housekeeper.  Never washing my own dishes or folding my own laundry bought me so much time.  Someone wiping up daily meant that my bathroom mirror never got spitty and the floor never grew hair.

I miss the community.  I belonged to an amazing group of women who met weekly for Bible study.  Lilly went to an amazing preschool, with a small and lovely community surrounding it.  Lilly and Sophia attended a fabulous elementary school, with warm teachers and involved parents.  Wendy kept me company in our home every day, and we ate lunch together regularly.

I could go on, but I won't.  We have lived in this house for a few weeks shy of one year.  Its been a simple move and northern Virginia is lovely.  How funny that now that I've settled in America, I feel homesick for China.

Once Dave's trip is over, he has a few days off and then he goes back to school.  His schedule will change, and his hours should improve dramatically.  We're looking forward to a summer of Daddy home for dinner every night and evenings walks before bedtime.  And of leaving China behind for now, to draw our focus more keenly onto Venezuela.

Feeling Better?

I sat down this afternoon to post on a news story that I read earlier today.  A Costa Rican diplomat had been kidnapped in Caracas.  According to the Boston Globe, he was the fourth diplomat or diplo-family-member kidnapped in Caracas in the past 6 months.

But when I checked Google News this afternoon, the story had changed.  The top story was now from the Atlanta Journal-Constitution, and with a much better headline:  Diplomat Freed After Venezuela Kidnapping Ordeal.  The story says that he's back with his family just over a day after disappearing.  That's good news.  The story says that although the abductors demanded a ransom, they released him under police pressure and with no money paid.  That's good news.

And so I wonder - should this story make me feel safer about our next city, or should it make me feel nervous?

Feeling Old

I was talking to my health insurance company on the phone in the kitchen, while the girls colored in the dining room.  The woman on the line asked my birthdate.

Lilly looked up from her coloring and said, "You were born in 1977?"

I nodded my head.

She gave a thoughtful hmm reply, and then went back to her work.

But Sophia's head jerked up.  She looked almost worried as she quietly said, "Does that mean you were born in the time of the dinosaurs?"

For the record:  No, it does not.

One Year Anniversary

We have been here for 1 year!

Its a bit difficult to measure anniversaries, as changes continued to happen weekly this time last year.  But in the last week of March, Dave celebrated 1 year of active membership in the Foreign Service.  We celebrated by having Catherine over for homemade ginger ale.  She is a member of his class, celebrating that same anniversary.

The girls arrived a few weeks later than Dave, but are able to celebrate anyway.  They arrived only a few days before Palm Sunday, and in time for Easter.  The week before Palm Sunday, they told stories about the parade they would take around the church... because they remembered from last year.  We celebrated Easter dinner with close friends we met in Shanghai;  and we plan to celebrate with them again this year.  It is unusual for us to celebrate the same way twice, and feels so relaxing.

Sophia has yet to surpass the 1 year mark in any home.  I expect that to happen come June, but we can not lay claim to that landmark yet.

It feels nice to pass an anniversary and feel settled, rather than ready for the next thing.  Venezuela still feels too far away for planning.  But as we hit this anniversary, I realize that we will not have another one.  From here on out, every experience will be our last in this area.  This is poignant only because the girls are feeling settled here.  Everyone around them is settled, and the community has a history which they have laid claim to.  The local elementary school has an annual basketball game - Lilly was impressed that KU also has March Madness, but she is quite confident that the NCAA copied her elementary school.  She is looking forward to next year's game;  Sophia will be in kindergarten, and therefore eligible for a ticket.  She is particularly looking forward to next year's game.  I do not have the heart to tell them that next year's game will happen without them.

Its nice to feel settled, and to feel at home.  Caracas will be good, I think.  And transitioning is for another month, far from now.

Highway!

Our little Annika has taken her own, sweet time to speak.  But now, at 22 months, she's enjoying copying our words, and sometimes adding in her own.  When she wants something, she will sometimes tell us what she wants... with a word.  Its awesome.

We went to the playground yesterday, and she communicated beautifully:

Annika:  Sing.
Mommy:  You want to swing?
Annika:  Yes.

Annika:  Un, Two, Un-Two!
Mommy:  You want me to push you?
Annika:  Yes.
Mommy:  One, Two, Three!

Annika:  High
Mommy:  You want to swing high?
Annika:  Yes
Giggling as I pushed her higher, she made up a new superlative.
Annika:  High!  High!  Highway!!

A Time of Rest

Lilly stayed home sick from school last week.  She never mentioned any symptoms and she never complained.  She simply slept.  Usually the first one to wake in the mornings, she couldn't lift her head to eat her breakfast, so we kept her home.  She stayed so exhausted for 3 full days.  For whatever reason, the poor girl needed some rest.  After her week of sleep, she is back to waking before anyone else in the house.

I often feel that this is my time of rest.  Life in northern Virginia has been surprisingly easy, and peaceful.  So far, each of our schools and all of our teachers have worked out well.  Each of us have made friends easily.  We happened upon a fabulous and energized church (amusingly, it is also in a time of transition).  We can communicate simply with our family, by quick phone calls or text messages.  We've had visitors - loads of visitors.  And they only stay for a few days at a time.  We have very little extra money, which means we spend a lot of time cooking at home and we frequent the many parks in the area.

Life is busy.  No doubt life is busy.  Annika and I spend a lot of time in the car, ferrying around her big sisters for their varied school schedules and playdates.  Things will only become busier in a few weeks when Lilly will add soccer to her schedule.  Dave continues to work long hours.  But as a junior officer, he benefits from comp time.  Now that he is within sight of finishing this his first post, he is taking comp time whenever he can snatch a day.  This means plenty of 3-day weekends, adding to the leisurely feel of our time these days.

And as Dave prepares to transition out of this job and into language training, he looks at a more regular schedule and shorter days.  He feels some anticipation toward going back to school - studying language full-time is difficult for anyone, but especially for adults who are used to leading and succeeding.  Language training is a trying time for most FSOs, from what I hear.  School starts for Dave in May, and so do shorter work days and longer evenings.  We are looking forward to a quiet summer within swimming lessons and lots of evenings on the back porch, eating something off the grill.

While Dave will continue his schooling into the fall, Sophia will begin kindergarten at the local public school.  She will be full day, and will be in the same building as her big sister.  Annika and I look forward to walking the girls to school in the morning, walking again to pick them up in the afternoon, and possibly not picking up the car keys all day long sometimes.

Life in China became routine, but it never became peaceful or simple.  Here, I know how to solve most of my problems - and that brings a certain sense of calm.  Crime continues to escalate in Venezuela, and the political situation is currently interesting but could become quite tumultuous in the next year or two.  I do not expect life to be peaceful this time next year, and it was certainly not restful this time last year.  Life tends toward the boring in our house, which is not a way I would want to live forever.  But for a season, I've no complaints.  For this week, this month, and for the better part of this year, my soul is at rest.