One of "Them"

Fired.

I fired my ayi this afternoon.

I've written about it before - how expat women will fire their ayis at the drop of a hat. I know women who have gone through 5 ayis in as many months. I was appalled at their lack of consideration for the women they hired. Firing someone ought to be a last resort, right? Once you hire an employee, both sides work hard to ensure that its a good fit. If an employee makes a mistake, a good manager approaches the employee, teaches them a lesson through the mistake, and everyone moves on as a better person.

I am the woman who fired an ayi after only 2 months.

Sadly, the ideal is not how the ayi-expat relationship works.

First, there's the market:
Shanghai has loads of ayis, and loads of people looking for ayis. The market moves swiftly. Our ayi left this afternoon, and another will probably start on Monday. Likewise, our ayi should not have any trouble finding a new job. There are loads of people seeking ayis. This quickly flowing exchange of people is common - our ayi asked nothing but for her pay, and a picture of the family.

Second, there's communication.
In my work experience, I would have every right to be angry if someone fired me without first explaining to me my mistakes and giving me a chance to improve. Hiring someone who does not speak your language - and likewise, deciding to work for someone who does not speak your language - you forfeit this ability. I showed her what I expect. Her ability to meet my expectations lies solely in her ability, because neither of us has the language to be able to dialogue in constructive criticism.

Third, there's interviews and talent.
Ability is quite difficult to judge in an interview. What can you ask an ayi in an hour, that will determine their skill as a housekeeper and nanny? The only good question drives at their experience, and since references won't be sought, this could easily be fabricated. The only way to interview an ayi is to put her to work. And choosing to work for someone who doesn't speak her language, an ayi must rely upon her skill as a cleaner and nanny, rather than specific instructions and constructive criticism.

My mistake was in keeping her as long as I did. An interview accomplishes very little, but a trial period ought only to run 1 week. If the ayi has not figured out your needs and routines within that week, become comfortable with the family and the children, then her talent is not in ayi-ing.

We will begin a new process on Monday, with open eyes and full knowledge of what I expect from an ayi. I hope that we will not be searching for the next few months!