No Less Complex

Thanks for your thoughts and prayers, everyone. With singular clarity, we decided to begin the adoption process immediately, despite the possibility of the door being closed on us within a few months. We will begin with the least expensive tasks, moving forward continually and becoming more expensive at each step. We will have faith that if we should pull out of the process, that timing will become clear.

So now, let me further complicate the issue for you.

As expatriates living in China, the process of adopting a Chinese baby will go much quicker for us than for people adopting from the states. So the estimate of 2 years is accurate - even though adoptive parents in America are facing 4-5 year waiting lists. Having lived in China for at least one year makes us eligible for expedited processing - seemingly ironic, but the Chinese government awards us as eligible for expedition; the US government creates the difficulties explained in the previous post.

Allow me to further complicate the issue.

Dave is in discussions with his office about a potential move to Singapore.

We could either move in December - a short 6 months away; or in June - a mere 12 months away.

In most ways, this is wonderful news for our family. The job is better. In fact, his current job has been leaving him unsatisfied for the past few months and this potential move has Dave rather excited. And although life in China is certainly interesting, we're no martyrs and will be more than happy to live somewhere simpler.

So, we must submit our paperwork to the Chinese government before moving away from China to qualify for expedited processing. This potential move gives is a very clear deadline - and a rather difficult one, if we choose to leave Shanghai in December.

To further complicate things, frequent readers will know that we are planning to move across the river - from Pudong to Puxi, within Shanghai - at the end of the summer. The school I chose for our daughter is an hour's drive from our current home, and so we will move.

So now we have plenty to lay stress on our poor minds and hearts.

Moving in August, as planned, will cost us $6,000 USD unless we can find someone to take over our lease. Thus far, we've no one interested. Even for a rich expat, this is a lot of money.

Moving to Singapore in December, we could decide not to move to Puxi. This would save us $6,000 and a lot of stress and heartache, from both moving and starting over once more. But it will also impose a difficult deadline for the adoption process; as well as forcing our daughter to miss attending the exciting school we've found for her in Shanghai.

Telling Singapore to wait until June seems the most sensible option, both for our 1st daughter and our potential third. But I've never been excited about this move to Puxi - in fact, I've been dreading it. And needing to pay $6,000 to move somewhere that will only be my home for another 9 months, coupled with the challenges of establishing a new support group and finding new friends for S--, makes it feel silly to even contemplate.

Clearly, there are more decisions to be made in the near future. None of them face us immediately, but new bits of information could cause a chain reaction of change on all fronts. If this post has left you thoroughly confused, the you have some idea of how I feel.