Mommy and the Terrible, Horrible...

I woke up late and could hardly open my eyes because the air was so dry from the fan, and then S-- woke up grumpy and emptied her entire bladder all over the guest room floor, and L-- was crying because she couldn't color while she ate breakfast, and Skype wouldn't work while we tried to talk to Nana and Poppa. My waffles were soggy and my orange juice was warm and I could tell that it was going to be a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

After breakfast, I looked outside and could practically see the heat rising off of the sidewalks. At Nana and Poppa's house in St. Louis, the high temperature was 77 degrees Fahrenheit. At Grammy and Grampa's house in Chicago, the high was only 75 degrees. At my house in China, the temperature has reached 102 degrees with a heat index of 113 degrees.

I wanna move to America.

At the beautiful outdoor swimming pool, they asked me why I didn't look like the picture in the computer when I told them my name, and I told them that I'd had a haircut and then tried to get away from the front desk as quickly as I could. But then L-- had to go pee and S-- fell down on the steps and I couldn't get out of the front office quickly enough, and they told me that my file said that I would be gone for all of the summer. And then I had to tell them that I had lied to them, but that it was just to make their job easier because my friend had told me that I could come on her account but that I didn't want to confuse them. They smiled at me really sweetly and said please don't come to their pool anymore.

I could tell it was going to be a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

I could tell because I had wanted to meet my friends at the pool and I sent them an email and I thought they would be there, but then at the last minute neither of them could come. And they're not really my friends anyway, but only my summer friends waiting for our real friends to come back because all of our real friends have left China to go to Germany or Holland or Australia or America for the summer. And my really good friend who also stayed in Shanghai for the summer is moving next week to America FOREVER.

My spicy tofu was cold, and I hate cold leftovers.

We had to watch Dora on TV, and I hate Dora.

It has been a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

My husband says some days are like that. Even in America.

Credit for all cleverness goes to Judith Viorst, author of "Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day;" one of our favorite books.