The Supportive Wife

Dave's in Morocco. He's been there for 1 week now, and he will be there for 1 more week. He was gone over this past weekend, and he will be gone over this coming weekend as well. And although I know that plenty of people go this long and much longer without a husband in their household, that's of no comfort to me. This sucks.

I can't figure out how to be a wife and mother through this. When this life frustrates me and leaves me depressed, I want to talk to Dave about it. But that hardly seems supportive - especially because he's the one living all alone, not watching his babies and not reading to his girls every night. How can I complain to him? I feel as if I ought to put on a brave face for him, focusing on the positive rather than on the negative. But that feels a bit like lying, and certainly like I've lost my confidante.

So that parts tough. But here's the real dilemma. I just realized that I don't really want to figure out how to make life work without him. Because once I make life smooth without him, it becomes difficult once he comes home. I want our family to be a two parent household. I want Annika raised primarily by myself and Dave, rather than by myself and our ayi. As the former isn't an option right now, I'm bucking against the latter and putting all of us girls through some rough evenings trying to do it all myself. But given the rationale, isn't that okay? Honestly, I have no idea.

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I want to end the story there, but I feel remiss if I don't mention that although God may not give us what we want, He at least gives us what we need. Feeling entirely down about the whole situation today, God ended the day surrounding me with love and support. I went to a prayer group this evening, not because I wanted to or because it was convenient, but because I wanted to support my friend Michelle, the leader. I mentioned Dave being gone as my prayer request, and received such wonderful words and prayers and hugs of support. It constantly amazes me what a right place I have landed, and how well supported I am here. God may not give us what we want, but at least He has given me what I need.