Explaining Stress

I've been in a funk the last few days, and unable to perfectly explain why. All things considered, this has been a very simple move. We came directly to a furnished apartment in a prime location. Dave has a co-worker in the building who commutes with him, and has offered to babysit. The girls have friends in town who we've seen regularly. Dave has a cousin in town, so we've enjoyed second cousin playdates as well. Plus, we live in America. When we run out of things, I can just run to the Target around the corner. When someone feels sick, there's no panic. There are plenty of doctors and hospitals nearby - and we now have good health insurance again. Schools are fairly well settled, and both seem like good places.

And still, the stress of moving hasn't escaped me.

For Good Friday, the church around the corner holds a Family Worship Service at 10:00am. The church has been quite family friendly so far, so I felt great about attending with my young kids. Lilly, Sophia and I worked hard to leave right on time. They completed their chores, and I got everyone fed and cleaned so that we could be out the door by quarter til. We walked quickly through the rain, and found our seats just before the music began - perfect timing for young ones.

And quickly it became clear to me that this church's definition of family friendly did not meet my definition. As I looked around, I saw loads of well-pressed children with pretty hair-dos sitting next to their Dads in suits. We only wore knit sans collar, and came without a father. Most of them sat quietly and listened to the preacher speak, the worship music, and the kids put on a lovely passion play. Lilly sat high on her knees, and got something out of most of the service. Sophia colored on her bulletin with the pen provided in the pew. Annika began to cry about halfway through, but recovered when I allowed her to crawl under the seats.

It was truly a lovely service. But the culture of this church simply did not match the culture of mine, where every service is so family friendly that my kids have danced in the aisles on occasion. And this fairly well sums up the stress of this past week. We work and rush to leave the house on time. We often get lost along the way, arriving late and grumpy. Out destination or event does not meet our expectations, because how could it? Our expectations have little to do with what's actually being presented. We leave feeling somehow dissatisfied, and often late for both lunch and Annika's nap. And then Lilly and Sophia snark at each other and me for the rest of the day, because things just haven't gone quite as planned for anyone.

I hold out hope that next week, school will create the routine and the social outlet that will calm each of my children. And really, it has been a blessedly simple move. Simple, but still stressful.