The Red Chair

Those of you who know me personally are probably familiar with The Red Chair. Its my nursing chair, the glider we purchased for the nursery before Lilly was born. Its a lovely chair, soft and comfy, and easy for every member of the family to snuggle into and take a nap. It is perfect for feeding a baby in the middle of the night, and dozing off with her in your arms. It is perfect for reading stories to both a 3- and 4-year-old in the evening. It is vibrant and lovely, and it has been in our home as long as our children have been in our home. The red chair has become my one piece of permanence in an ever changing household.

Further, the red chair has become an important tradition. Each child has her portrait taken on the red chair for her birthday. Birthdays came quite frequently when they were infants. First weekly, then monthly, and now yearly. Here is Lilly at 7 months old, in our home in St. Louis:



Here is Sophia at 13 months old, in our first Shanghai home - in Lu Jia Zui:

The Red Chair photos give us a beautiful way to watch our children grow and to trace the homes where they lived, as well as an exceptional number of vibrant portaits.

When we eventually move to DC for Dave to begin his new career, we will live in temporary housing. The State Department will pack up our current home in two shipments: 1-UAB or Unaccompanied Air Baggage, and 2-HHE or Household Effects. We are privy to most of the shipping rules already, as this is a government job and those bureaucratic bits and pieces are public information. We know that our UAB will fly from Shanghai to Washington, DC and will meet us at our temporary home. We know that this is severely limited by weight, but that tiny babies get a few extra allowances referred to as a layette. However, these allowances are meant for small things like collapsed cribs and strollers. The HHE will include everything else in the house, up to 18,000 pounds. Friends shipped their entire furnished apartment for a family of 5 and came to only 8,000 pounds, so we'll be sending everything we own - both here and in St. Louis. The catch is that this shipment will sit in a storage unit somewhere until we reach our first post. That is, we will not see any items sent in our HHE for over 1 year.

Rules quite clearly state that furniture may not be included in the UAB (the one we will have with us in Washington).
Rules clearly state that we will not have access to our HHE while in Washington (it may never arrive in the DC area; if it does, it will cost around $500 to open the door to the unit)

But how can Jake live her first year of life without the red chair?

I am distraught about this.

I hate to think that I will have no Red Chair Pictures of Jake from the time she is 2 months old until after her 1st birthday.

Dave is spending the week in Hong Kong. Alone in my bed, in a dark room last night, the significance of this hit hard. I cried. This is simply not okay with me. After crying long and hard, I began to wonder if maybe I was upset about something more. I began to realize something difficult.

We chose to be where we are, and we knew that this would be a difficult choice. We knew that having a baby while changing international careers would be difficult. We knew that life in the Foreign Service would be difficult. We also knew that through faith and prayer, we would still be fine. "The Lord will guide you always; he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame. You will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail." - Isaiah 58:11 I know that whatever challenges arise, I will be like a well-watered garden in the desert. Everything will be alright.

Until I faced what is clearly the first of many practical sacrifices.

So, feeling rather trivial, I mentioned this in Bible Study this morning. I mentioned The Red Chair to the ladies because we were discussing prayer, all that Ask and You Shall Receive stuff that everyone believes until it comes time to really ask for something. In fact, we read an even better verse: "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6-7 This time, it still says to present all of our requests to God. But the next line does not say they will be granted - the next line says that we will have peace.

So, I asked the ladies. Should I pray for The Red Chair? And unequivocally, they said yes. God doesn't care how trivial our needs, we decided. If we need something, we should bring it to God. The worst thing we can receive is peace.

And so I pray for The Red Chair. And I have faith that God will somehow answer this prayer. Honestly, I am rather curious what He's got up His sleeve - as this one seems nearly impossible. But I will pray. And I ask those who pray for us to pray as well - please pray that we still have our Red Chair.

The worst we can receive is peace.

The Lantern Festival

In Shanghai, the Spring Festival wraps around on the 15th day of the New Year with the celebration of the Lantern Festival. This has got to be my favorite of the Chinese celebrations. People have spent the past 2 weeks creating intricate paper lanterns, which they will hang outside on the 15th evening. These lanterns may have riddles, and families walk the streets looking at lanterns and solving riddles. What fun already, right?

Add in the fireworks that occur at any occasion in China. This time they centered around 8pm on Sunday night, and so Lilly and I enjoyed a firework-chasing walk through the neighborhood. Our neighbors shot off loud firecrackers in front of our house, and Lilly and I watched as they did their best to keep their dog from attacking the lit fuse. We walked down the street, watching boys light fuses of fireworks perched on top of the railings. We stood across the street from a shop keeper who must have lit 30 fireworks the style of a fountain of sparks - it was beautiful. We chased a few bright lights around for the best view, and we enjoyed watching cars swerve to avoid the fireworks exploding in the middle of the street. Certainly a festive walk!

We were further able to enjoy this festival by an invitation to the West Nanjing Road Community Center's Lantern Festival Celebration. It seems that this very Chinese community center has an administrator with an interest in sharing Chinese culture with expatriates, and so this festival was broadcast all through the Shanghai expat networks. The girls received free gifts at the door - noisemakers and stuffed dragons. We watched a dragon dance - the type where the lead dancer wears holds a dragon head over her own head, and the second person becomes the back legs. The dancing, jumping and posturing of each makes for a lively dance and a really interesting dragon. A hip-hop troupe of 8 year olds performed, and a large group of middle aged women danced with drums and flags before we reached naptime and headed home.

Sadly, I did not bring my camera to this awesome event. But 50% of the Chinese people did, and most of them have quite a few shots of my children now on their memory cards. We seemed more popular than the dancers!

Top Secret Security Clearance - GRANTED

Phew!

That's all we've got.

The 20 Year Plan

Just for fun, Dave and I laid out a skeleton outline for our family over 20 years in the foreign service. Based on a few simple assumptions, here are some of our more interesting findings:

We would move to our 3rd post in 2015. With Lilly entering 5th grade, Sophia entering 3rd grade, Jake entering Kindergarten and Mei Mei starting preschool, this will be the first time I have some time to myself. This is the first post where I could conceivably have a job.

We would begin our 4th post in 2018. With Lilly entering 8th grade, bidding on this post will be a serious decision. If we want to see our children all stay stable through high school, this will be the time to leave the foreign service. If we want to ensure that each child has their junior and senior year in the same high school, this will be the time to lay out a very serious 10 year plan.

We would begin our 8th post in 2029. This would be the first post where Dave and I would arrive with no children in tow, as Mei Mei will begin her freshman year in college this year. At this point, Mei Mei and Jake could have lived in 10 different countries. Having blown her first 5 years in only 2 countries, Lilly would only have 7 flags under her belt, and Sophia 8. Dave would be a member of the Senior Foreign Service by this time, and eligible for some pretty amazing career choices.

Chinese New Year: A Primer

The official holiday has now finished, so I’m posting this primer a bit late. But as our family chose to stay in China for Chinese New Year, I figured you ought to benefit from our newly gained knowledge. I quizzed Wendy on her family’s Spring Festival traditions – for the Chinese do not call it Chinese New Year. And our family is celebrating as well, although not in any of Wendy’s more traditional ways.

The Spring Festival celebrates the beginning of the lunar year, which began one week ago. The Spring Festival compares to America’s traditions of both Christmas and New Year’s Eve, rolled into one grand weekend. People spend time with their families – even in a country so full of migrants, and people. Train travel on the days leading up to the holiday is intense, with tickets selling out within hours of going on sale. Many of these tickets will be standing room only, for trips easily lasting 30 hours. This mass movement of people through China is said to be the largest annual migration of people worldwide.

Each person in China made every effort to be at their family home by Friday evening. So, the office was empty for Dave on Friday. The bus was quick for Wendy on Friday. Wendy did not travel for the holiday, because her husband’s family lives in Shanghai. Although she was clearly nostalgic for her family as she told of her traditions, she was also assured that a wife spends this holiday with her husband’s family. I am beginning to learn how few choices Wendy really has.

Friday night is an evening of feasting with family. As we walked the street on Friday, we could feel a charge in the air not unlike on Christmas Eve. People completed their last bits of shopping, waited with large bags for taxis and busses, loaded up on fruit and nuts and stood in line at the ATM. The atmosphere was calmer than usual, and much more congenial. And people sold fireworks everywhere. At the fruit stand, on the corner, at the bakery, at the quick shop. People sold fireworks everywhere. And although we began to hear fireworks as early at 8:00pm on Friday night, they would not begin in earnest until Saturday night – essentially New Year’s Eve.

Saturday was the true holiday, comparable to Christmas. This is another feast day, and the streets of Shanghai were eerily quiet. Most shops stood closed – with the exception of fruit stands, with lovely baskets of bright and exotic fruits displayed prominently. And fireworks – still plenty of fireworks for sale.

Wendy explained that on this day – essentially New Year’s Eve – families would follow a few key traditions.

Hong bao: these are red envelopes used for gifting money. Around the holiday, employers often give their employees a hong bao. On New Year’s Eve, adults will fill this with money and give them to children. Grandparents and aunts and uncles give them to their nieces and nephews – Wendy said it would be silly to give one to your own child. They’ll receive so many already! If the neighbor children knock on the door, they will receive cookies or candies.

Red Paper: People decorate their homes with red paper marked with their wishes for the year. Red paper on the front door will say fu (good luck) or gong xi fai cai (earn a lot of money). Red paper on livestock or barn doors will wish for a growing herd, and red paper on trees will wish for their long life. Red paper in the kitchen will wish for no fires, and red paper on the car will wish for no accidents in the coming year.

Cleaning: In this way, the first days of the New Year are much like the Jewish Sabbath. The family will not work on these days, allowing all of their household to rest and enjoy the holiday. No one will wash, because the water should rest. No one will use a knife or scissors, because those tools should rest as well. The observance of this holiday clearly has roots as a winter festival in an agrarian community. Many people in the countryside have no heat. So, to keep dishes and prepared food for a few days is not an issue. Likewise, not showering or washing clothes. Preparing the house and the body as clean for the New Year may be the larger piece.

Kind words: Possibly in the same tradition as beginning the year with a clean house and a clean body, a person should begin the year with a kind tongue. No one speaks ill of anyone else on the first few days of the new year, and people are never to get angry. Between the money from their family, the candy from their neighbors, and the rule against anger, kids must love this holiday!

Fireworks: Wendy explained that people will set off fireworks on the first 4 days of the new year, and then again on the 15^th day. Each day, she said it is good luck for the family who blasts the first fireworks of the morning. On New Year’s Eve, beginning around midnight, the whole country went alight. Again on the 5^th day of the festival, the city explodes. At great expense to themselves, families purchase fireworks of all types. They purchase large boxes of noisemakers, to make the city sound like a warzone. They purchase bright light style fireworks – the type that only the fire department sets off in America.

The entire country has a 7 day holiday. This began on Saturday and will continue until Friday. Offices opened again on Saturday and Dave is at work today, making this a 7 day work week.

In the villages, the holiday will last longer than 7 days. Many people will travel home for 2 weeks or a month. The many migrant workers making America’s T-shirts, computers and fake Christmas trees have received the entire month away from the factory and this will be the only time they see their family all year. Traditionally, the holiday has been celebrated for 3 months. Again, I remember that China is traditionally an agrarian culture without heat in most homes. In the 1^st month, families celebrate Chinese New Year with their loved ones and their friends. This includes dressing up as lions, carrying children in dry boats, singing for hong bao or cigarettes, and building dragons and lanterns. On the 15^th day of the New Year the full moon will rise, and people will hang out their lanterns, dance their large dragons and set off more fireworks. They will eat sticky rice balls and wish that their families live full lives, much like the full moon.

In the 2^nd month, people play games and in the 3^rd month people make plays. I love this one – that each village will put together a stage production of some sort, inviting all of their neighboring villages to see the performance. What a lovely way to spend the winter months, when no work can be done in the fields. Rather than be cooped up at home, spend the months playing games and putting together plays with your community.

Our family celebrated in a much simpler and thoroughly modern way. We played games, ate good food, and enjoy each other’s company. We spent time outside, playing in the snow in Moganshan and walking the quiet streets of Shanghai. We hosted a small party. And then sent Dave back to work on Saturday. Uncle H-- keeps him mighty busy these days, and so we particularly appreciate the week off.

Horoscopes

The Chinese link horoscopes to the lunar year of a person's birth. Dave and I are both Snakes, and so we share a horoscope for this year, the Year of the Tiger. According to one magazine, here it is:

It's a disastrous year for love - an affair is in the cards. But don't start snooping around behind your partner's back, as that's a lose-lose situation. This year, it's all about "out with the old, in with the new." Never mind that your business will probably lose a lot of money (if not flat out go bankrupt), this is a chance to weed out the unhappy things in life and make some changes. Thinking about quitting your job? It's a good year for that.

Makes us both feel pretty good about the changes we have planned. And I'm not putting too much stock in the love affair bit - I'll chalk it up to Dave falling in love with the Foreign Service.

Crowds and Fireworks

It seems we entered the week of Chinese New Year with a few incorrect assumptions.


Assumption #1:
That the best place to watch the crazy New Year's Eve fireworks would be from a high-rise hotel in a tourist part of town.

WRONG

Our room on the 24th floor of the Hyatt on the Bund looked out over the river and onto the bright lights of Lujiazui. We had a lovely view of the Pearl Tower, but a horrible view of the fireworks. Although every single family seems to set off gigantic fireworks for the Spring Festival, everyone does this near their home. The city does not organize anything, and no one travels to the Pearl Tower to set anything off. Our view did not change all night, and we had to crane our necks to see the fireworks around the edges of the building.




Assumption #2:
The Shanghai South train station would be a zoo on Sunday. We would be stepping into the largest movement of people in the world, and may lose a child.

WRONG

Everyone in China wants to reach their home by New Year's Eve, for a big feast and loads of fireworks. The train stations were absurdly full on the last few days of the week. But on Sunday, the place was a ghost town. We had no trouble reaching our train, and we even had a spare seat next to ours for the girls to enjoy and wiggle all over.

On our return, the train and train station were busier. The train had sold Standing Room seats, and Dave stood up the entire ride while the girls shared his seat. The train station was busy, but no busier than on an average day. Train stations in China are busy places. And still no busier than Ikea on an average Saturday afternoon.

the train station during Chinese New Year

Ikea on any Saturday afternoon

Assumption #3:
Everything would be closed during the holiday, and we'd risk running out of money and food.

WRONG

We were in no danger of starving this week, as most restaurants and grocery stores carried their normal hours. Everything closed on Saturday, except the exceptionally tasty buffet at the Hyatt, but food was readily accessible the rest of the week. However, it is not entirely wrong. The streets have been empty of cars and most shops have remained shuttered all week. This is certainly not a consumer holiday. We've enjoyed wide sidewalks and empty streets on many pleasant walks this week, especially as we've had a taste of spring weather.