What We've Been Reading

Shanghai Girls by Lisa See

As we wrapped up on our time in China, I focused on the last few China books I'd left sitting unread. Shanghai Girls was a classic example of a book I should have read long ago. My book club in Shanghai read it together, but I skipped that month. Friend and family in the states recommended it to me, after having read Snowflower and the Secret Fan, also by Lisa See. Once I finally made time for the book, I breezed through it. See writes a compelling story, which carries two sisters through an amazing number of changes in lifestyle, landscape and self-image. I've always enjoyed author Amy Tan's writing, because she writes about Chinese women talking to their American daughters. In so doing, she explains the recent history of China in ways that I can understand and relate to. I always find the most extraordinary piece of Tan's stories to be the expansive change her characters undergo. As with many Americans who arrived as refugees, or simply escaped dangerous conditions, characters from this book lived in a world where they were well taken care of and had few worries; they then underwent unimaginable experiences before arriving to live in the U.S., shop at the same grocery store as me, and raise daughters who drink too much Coca-Cola. It reminds me that everyone I meet has a hidden story. And that recent Chinese history is awful. And that people are capable of horrible things, but that life is also redemptive. As a friend recently reminded me, this too shall pass. See tells a good story, and I recommend it for all of my readers.


Country Driving by Peter Hessler

Peter Hessler is one of the best modern writers on China. He left the place a year or two before we did, but his books neatly bookmarked our tour. I read his River Town when we first arrived in China. The book was actually published around the year 2000, but Hessler very neatly described my experience - of being lost by the culture, lost by the noise, lost by the language, lost by the characters of China. Except that by the end of the book, he could read characters and had become amazingly adept at speaking the language. Still, I identified. So when Oracle Bones came out the following year, I ate it up. It wasn't so good - a mishmash of freelance journalist's projects and friends which never fully gelled. Based on the second book, I hesitated to pick up Country Driving when it came out this year, neatly bookending our time in China. Nothing to fear - Hessler's strength in telling people's stories in China shines in this book. Once again, Hessler describes China as few foreigners can - telling very personal stories, and this time from off the beaten track. He paints a vivid and accurate picture of the China that we left behind this year.


Wild Grass: Three Stories of Change in Modern China by Ian Johnson

I love how good reads begins their synopsis of this books: "In Wild Grass, Pulitzer Prize—winning journalist Ian Johnson tells the stories of three ordinary Chinese citizens moved to extraordinary acts of courage." In the engaging style of a skilled journalist, Johnson delved into the stories of a legal clerk in the countryside who filed a class-action suit on behalf of overtaxed farmers and learned the limits of the Chinese legal system; a young architect who defended not only the dispossessed homeowners but also the disappearing architecture of Beijing; and an average elderly woman who ended up beaten to death in police custody for her faith in falun gong. After living in and reading about China for the past three and a half years, I still found the well-researched stories in this book telling me things about the country that I was naive to. But beyond telling stories which the world needs to hear, Johnson smoothly and professionally weaves in his reaction to each individual - his skepticism at times, and his frustration. A great read for a thinker, but a simple read for anyone.

And that completes my China list, until we get to the books concerning adoption - but I'm saving those for later. Anyone with recommendations for books on the mid-Atlantic and northern Virginia, I'm all ears. Although you'd better come quick - we'll know our next post by the end of the summer, and then I'll once again focus all reading attentions outside of this country.

Keeping Hope Alive

Another Foreign Service Candidate was just offered a spot in the January class. He is in the Economic track, and he scored 5.6. With a 5.6 in the Political Track, Dave probably ranks in the low 60s, but in Econ this man was number 23 and is going to the next class.

When Dave interviews in early January, he will land on the Economic track. He needs to do at least as well as he did last time to receive a call. This keeps my hope alive.

The other contingency plan was the Mandarin test, which he has scheduled for the end of November. But in only a few short weeks, he has a long ways to go to become conversational. Too many challenging conversations on the train reinforced that this weekend. Plus, he may be spending the next 6-8 weeks in the Middle East. They don't speak Chinese there, but maybe he could start working on his Arabic? The Mandarin seems like less of a sure bet, and so I'm comforted to see that a good score in Econ seems possible. And then we could get out of Asia!

If You Want it Done Right

They say that if you want something done right, you've got to do it yourself. Nowhere is this truer than in China. Friends working in quality control would agree - this is not a place where you can offer simple instructions and expect to know the end result. Although I should say its a great place to get a copy made. I could hand someone a photo of the plate above and get a replica which looked just as tasty. But nothing that tasted nearly as good.

I'm a Kansas City girl, and we've been importing our Arthur Bryant's and our Billardo Brothers for years now. But as our stock dwindles, the time has come to man up and make out own. Here are the photographic results of our day of barbeque.

the makings of the sauce

the makings of the bacon -
you could still feel the piggies little back hairs on the skin!

Believing ourselves to be in China only temporarily,
I never bought a food processor.
Enough is enough!
This machine is loads of fun!

the beans, after a 14 hour soak

the beans, after an hour of boiling in sauce

after 4 hours of boiling

after sitting in the coals of the grill for 2 hours. yum!

the grillmaster and his assistant,
cooking late into the night

and once again, the final product

We need to keep refining. The beans were still a bit tough, the Root Beer was too expensive an ingredient, and something about the ribs just wasn't right. We think it might have been the meat itself, which we've got no power to fix.

But the best part? I shredded the leftover meat into the beans, and boiled it all with the rest of the sauce the next day. Poured the whole mix over fresh corn bread. Oh, heaven!

The Canton Trade Fair

Because of extremely poor planning, our family enjoyed an excursion to Guangzhou this past weekend. I had planned to visit Guangzhou in the near future anyway, as it is a 1-hour fast train from Shenzhen and one of China's main cities, and so the trip itself was welcome. But the timing had many unwelcome challenges.

We went because Lilly's passport becomes unusable in a few weeks. Although it does not expire until the beginning of May 2011, China will not allow entry into the country with a passport 6 months away from its expiration date. Were we more responsible parents, we would have noticed this over the summer. The summer where we lived around the corner from the consulate, rather than a journey away. The summer where we obtained a new passport, social security card and birth certificate from the consulate, each in different visits. So, this trip should not have been necessary.

I had hoped the quick timing could guarantee us a quick jaunt to Hanoi over the fall holiday. The girls have a week off at the beginning of November, which is a lovely time to travel in Southeast Asia. I expect it will also be a lovely time to stay home in Southeast Asia. Because not only will our Residence Permits still be in limbo, but Dave will have begun the big consulting job for the big client for which we moved to Shenzhen. He begins on Monday. In UAE. That's the UAE located in the Middle East. So no Hanoi.

But all of these timing issues simply forced the trip last weekend. They did not make it bad timing, but simply quick timing. The Canton Trade Fair made last weekend bad timing.

The Canton Trade Fair takes place twice annually in Guangzhou. It occurs over 3 successive weekends, last weekend being the first of the fall session. It invites over 23,000 exhibitors to hawk their wares to 204,000 overseas buyers and sees $34.3 million US dollars in business turnover. This is the largest trade fair in China by far, and one of the largest in the world.

That means that every room in Guangzhou was booked for the weekend. And although we live a quick 1-hour fast train ride away, it took us an hour on the bus and an hour on the metro just to reach the train station from our home. With 3 kids in tow and an appointment for bureacracy at the consulate, this was definitely an overnighter. We paid nearly $300 for our hotel room, making it the most expensive hotel room we have ever used. Scratch that - I believe we paid slightly more when Dave and I spent a week on a private island in Fiji.

I find the trade fair fascinating, and am mildly disappointed that we did not find a way to sneak in. Here's why. The Canton Trade Fair has been in existence continually since 1957. That's less than 10 years after the founding of The People's Republic of China. That's under Mao Zedong's rule, and before the Cultural Revolution. While China maintained a strictly isolationist policy, the Canton Trade Fair continued. When people in China were being tortured and killed for their capitalist background and their international associations, the Canton Trade Fair continued. And when Deng Xiaoping opened China's economy to the world in the early 1980s, the Canton Trade Fair had already established trading patterns which quickly soared and helped China's economic growth tremendously.

I did a brief google search for more history of the Canton Trade Fair, and found precious little. Had I the time, I would embark on a research project and write y'all a truly fantastic book about it. At this point in my life, I think I'll have to settle with having been in town concurrent to the show.

Heading South

The verdict is in. Uncle H-- informed us on Wednesday evening that we will, in fact, be moving to Shenzhen. We stepped on a flight to the white sand beaches of Hainan Island early the next morning, and returned to Shanghai this evening. Our flight for Shenzhen leaves at 6:30 on Tuesday night, and school starts on Thursday.

All of that within 1 week's time.

I've got a crazy To Do List for the next day, the next week, and the next month. Tomorrow will be a bit nutty, but not actually as overwhelming as one might think. We will move directly into a serviced apartment in Shenzhen, one within walking distance of the grocery store. I will return to Shanghai in a few weeks to pack up the house, and hand the keys over to the landlord. As I'll travel without kids, I'll be able to race around town at breakneck speed and checks loads of things off of the list.

So, the focus for the next week is to make this transition as smooth as possible for the girls. Questions like how to keep the girls amused over the next few days, while I'm busy shopping and packing and how to fit the moses basket and antique rocker onto the airplane plague me.

But, as far as moves go, this one seems rather simple. The girls are already enrolled in the right school - one which seems very community focused, having already invited our family to join others at a local restaurant on Wednesday night. The school lies inside a complex where we can afford to live, and so I only plan to view homes inside that complex. There's also a church and a library in the complex, all of which make me think that it will have a built-in community as well. Plus, simply living within walking distance of the school and church mean that we can easily spend casual time with the people we meet.

Bonus points, that we will be within walking distance of the ferry to Hong Kong.

Further bonus points that we don't anticipate living there past February. I will not make the same mistake as in this home: We will rent our home assuming we will live there for a year; we will have a comfortable guest room, and plenty of space for Mei Mei to move in. However, I don't feel the pressure of needing to fit in so strongly. It feels more like an extended vacation than like a move.

I believe the girls are approaching it that way as well. Lilly asked me recently if, since we are moving now, can she please invite her cousin to her birthday party? I explained that we'll still be in China, and not yet in America.

Lilly: So, when will we move to America, and live near Jack and William?
Lynne: I think probably after Christmas. Until then, we'll go to school in Shenzhen.
Lilly: (reassured) Okay.

They've been prepared for a summer move for quite some time now. I think that they're not thrown by this news, because they've been expecting it all along. As Washington DC means very little to them as a place, why should Shenzhen be a scary stopping point?

Hyperventilating

Still no decision on Shenzhen, although Dave will formally interview for the role tomorrow morning. This means that a decision by Friday is possible. But Dave's boss advises that once the contract to consult has been accepted, the two companies still face negotiations which could take a few weeks.

So, we stand to lose the lease on our current home.

Lease runs out on Aug. 30th, and we have yet to tell them we want to renew. Should we say yes, and immediately face a 2-month penalty for canceling? Should we say no, and be forced to leave on Sep. 1?

Here's the best potential scenario I can come up with:

Because of confidence in the move to Shenzhen, we lose the lease on this house.
Because that confidence is not amazingly strong, we do not begin school in Shenzhen on the first day - Aug. 12th.
Because things have not yet finalized, we begin school in Shanghai on Aug. 23rd.
Even better if we are forced to move out of this house before a decision has been made - maybe live in a hotel for a week?
Move to Shenzhen after school has begun in both places, causing all sorts of transitional angst for our kids.
And then get the call to the October class, and move to DC.

Likely? Absolutely not. But still keeping me awake at night.

Silence on Shenzhen

Neither regular readers nor fellow expatriates should be surprised when I tell you that we have no answers on our possible move to Shenzhen. It seems that our little ultimatum (school starts on Aug. 12, and our kids need to know that they're moving prior to the drive to the airport on Aug. 11) is of no real consequence to the decision makers.

Dave and I continue to feel comfortable with the option of moving, although we both vacillate wildly about which city we would prefer. I have a strong support network here now, and never feel isolated. This would certainly change upon moving to a new town. But we no longer live in the right house in Shanghai - too small, too unsafe, and too far away from school. This would be the perfect opportunity to mix up all that is frustrating about our home.

Essentially, for Dave and I, it comes down to this. If this would feel like an extended vacation, then we would have a great time. If this would feel like a short-term move, then it would be extremely difficult. If Dave works crazy-long hours and Lilly suffers with the transition, it could be more different than exciting. But the location and the apparent community both lead me to believe that we could have a great time.

Still, if we may be moving within a week, how do I shop for groceries?

It Ain't DC, but...

Just when we were beginning to feel stable, it seems there's a new city on the table. Dave's boss has a few very good reasons to want him working in the Pearl River Delta. Hong Kong would be ideal for the company, but with the price of living that city would be a tough sell to the budget-makers. As Dave's already turned down an offer in Hong Kong once, they know just how expensive our family would be. Shenzhen is nearby, Uncle H-- has an office there, and the cost of living is considerably less.

So, Shenzhen is now on the table.

And this will be a rush-rush deal. Partly on their side: if Uncle H-- wins a particular contract, the work will begin soon and need Dave on site quickly. Financially, our lease renews on September 1 and school fees in Shanghai become non-refundable as soon as the girls set foot on campus at the end of August.

But most importantly for us, school begins in Shenzhen on August 12th. I'm not able to picture a move from Shanghai to Shenzhen in under 3 weeks - especially as a non-refundable beach vacation lies smack in the middle of those weeks.

I've spent some spare time today looking at schools and housing. It actually seems like a fun place to live. Loads of expats, all living on a bit of peninsula with mountains on the background and the sea on the forefront. Fairies from the local terminal leave for Hong Kong and Macau 13 times daily, and people's hobbies seem to be scuba diving and lying around the beach. The girls will change schools this year either way, and realistically they will only be keeping a few of the same friends with that change. And myself? The next month would be such a whirlwind that I wouldn't have any time to be nervous.

Dave places the odds on this move at 50-50. The boss says we'll know by the end of the week. That timing is absolutely necessary for us to be in the Shenzhen area by the first day of school.

I wonder if many of the applicants to the foreign service - a career where you reliably move internationally every 2 to 3 years - look forward to it as offering stability?

Fast Times in Shanghai

I stole the image below from gizmodo.com . I find it amazing, and displays perfectly how quickly change is happening in Shanghai. The top photo was taken in 1990 - the bottom photo in 2010, only 20 years later. Were it not for the river, you would doubt it is the same place.

Hand-Me-Downs FORBIDDEN!

This place is just full of interesting little tidbits.

When we moved to China, we had no intentions to add another family member while abroad. And so, we left all of our baby gear in a basement in West Chicago. And then Annika came along, and she needs some baby gear.

We asked Dave's folks to throw it all into a few boxes and ship us all of our used baby items. A few crib sheets, some diapers, but primarily used clothing. We did our research, and found USPS to be the most affordable shipper. We all began to organize around this plan, and then quickly searched China's customs rules as a just-in-case.

Get a load of what we found on the Prohibitions list:

• Arms, ammunition, weapons.
• Articles in hermetically sealed, nontransparent containers.
• Chinese currency.
• Coins; banknotes; securities payable to bearer; traveler’s checks; gold, silver, platinum, manufactured or not; precious stones; jewelry; and other valuable articles, unless sent as an insured post.
• Manuscripts, printed matter, photographic negatives, gramophone records, films, magnetic tapes, video tapes, etc., which could do political, economical, cultural, or moral harm to the People’s Republic of China.
• Meat and meat products.
• Perishable infectious biological substances.
• Radioactive materials.
• Radio receivers, transmitters or receivers of all kinds, walkie-talkies and parts thereof; valves, antennae, etc.
• Used clothing and bedding.
• Wrist-watches, cameras, television sets, radio sets, tape records, bicycles, sewing machines, and ventilators.

That's right - used clothing and bedding right alongside infectious biological substances and radioactive materials.

I did a little digging, because this could not possibly keep me from receiving my own baby clothes. Turns out we'll be fine, upon some good advice and background from a fellow Shanghai Mama.

Simple Instructions: label the contents as "personal items" rather than "used clothes and bedding." It is entirely true, and draws less attention.

Background: Apparently, China used to be an unwilling recipient of donated used clothing from other countries. It seems that in the 70's, loads of insect-ridden, tatty clothes were sent as donations to China causing loss of face. We can't have that - and so we have legislation.

As we say in Shanghai, T.I.C. (This Is China)!

Verifiable

Since her birth, we have been following the rather complicated process of verifying Annika’s place in this world. Had she been born on US soil, her citizenship would be unquestionably American and paperwork would follow at a leisurely pace. But the process is much more interesting (and tedious) on Chinese soil.

Annika is a US citizen. Unlike America, China does not offer citizenship to children born in its hospitals. They did, however, offer her a very cool little Chinese birth certificate. But this birth certificate is nothing more - not the hukou that Chinese citizens receive upon their birth, conferring upon them the right to public school and health care in their home town.

So, she was born a US citizen. But that is not as automatic as one might think.

Step 1: Consular Report of Birth Abroad

We had to apply for her birth certificate from the US. This is only offered to US citizens, and so we had to prove her citizenship. Again, more complicated than I would have expected. For us, a married pair of citizens, we only had to bring our passports, ourselves, and our marriage license to the Shanghai Consulate. We made an oath, Annika answered some questions about American government, and she was in. Here's the rules for the more complicated contingent:

• If only one of us were a US citizen but still married, then the citizen would have to prove they had lived in the US for 5 years since they were 14 years old. Not too hard.
• If only Mom is a US citizen, and the couple is unmarried then mom must have spent 1 continuous year in an American territory.
• If only Dad is a US citizen, and the couple is unmarried then things get a bit more complicated. Pop must provide clear evidence of his paternity, acknowledge that paternity in writing, and also guarantee in writing to financially support the little citizen until they turn 18. I see this as a sad legacy of irresponsible men, both during wartime and on business trips. Dave sees this as saving degradation from women who may well bear a child to access American citizenship, especially from men who could sell the service of impregnation. Ick.

It is interesting to me that, should we continue this lifestyle for a long time, our grandchildren could be ineligible for US citizenship. It is also interesting to me that some children probably face a lack of citizenship entirely - what happens then?

Step 2: Passport

With her Consular Report of Birth Abroad (CRBA), she has proof of her citizenship. But she still can not board an airplane for international travel without a passport. On the same day, and with her CRBA and 2 passport pictures (imagine that - 2 weeks old!), we applied for her passport. It came back within 10 days, and her photo looks a bit ridiculous.

Step 3: Local Police Registration

The Chinese government keeps track of everyone within their borders. Everyone. We are registered with our local government, telling them who we are and where we live. We are supposed to tell them every time we leave town, and every time we return. Hotels do this for us, to some extent - reporting everyone who stays, and their arrival and departure dates to their local government. Annika must be reported. We needed her passport to do this. We received her passport on Friday, so we will report her on Monday.

Step 4: Visa and Residence Permit

As an American citizen, Annika has no guaranteed right to stay in the People’s Republic of China. Without a Chinese visa in her passport, we can be fined up to 5,000 RMB. With her birth certificate, her passport, and her local police registration as well as Dave’s work permit, Uncle H--s HR department will obtain a visa for her. And here is where we are being fleeced. Foreigners must obtain that visa within 30 days of their child’s birth. See how many steps necessarily preceed this? Recall that those 30 days are also the first 4 weeks post-delivery for mother and child. Also recall that in China, custom dictates that a woman not leave her house or her bed for at least 30 days, to regain her strength. We have passed that 30 day mark. Uncle H--s fixer believes he can fix the problem without our paying 5,000 RMB - that’s about $1,000 USD. In China, its all about who you know and how effectively you can make connections. A fixer is our only chance.

Sitting the Month

After giving birth, a Chinese woman traditionally "sits the month," or zuo yuezi, a custom which means almost exactly what it says. The recovering new mother is relegated to bed for 1 month, often lying down most of the time, to allow her body to recover from the trauma of childbirth. She will care for her new baby, but be otherwise exempt from household chores.

This seems to be a very common custom. I say with assurance because I am not sitting the month. Annika and I have left the house nearly every day since we returned home. And at each outing, at least one person will exclaim at our being out of the house so soon! She is so little! people will cry, presumably out of surprise that we would leave home with her. Although Westerners will react this way as well, a stronger note of surprise seems attached to the Chinese reaction - especially that of the old ladies in our neighborhood.

Wendy explained the custom to me, at least as she practiced it. The woman is supposed to stay in bed for 1 month, and the baby is supposed to remain in the house for that time as well. I asked Wendy if it got boring, and she confirmed that it did. She said many women sleep a lot, but she was not so tired and so they allowed her to sit in a chair and talk to her many visitors.

Traditionally, the woman also does not shower or wash her hair, and stays away from cold water. Wendy placed the roots of this in poverty and a cold climate - to retain heat and rebuild a healthy body in a cold house, its best to stay away from the cold water. While some women follow this rule, my impression is that its talked about far more often than observed.

Wendy also explained that women eat certain foods, notably eggs. At least 3 eggs a day for the entire month. Hard boiled eggs dyed red are also the traditional gift to celebrate the birth of a child, much like distribution of cigars a generation ago in the states.

After being quizzed on this Chinese tradition, Wendy asked if my mother or grandmother have pains in their backs and their joints, and watery eyes. She explained that these are the consequences for leaving the house during this month of recovery - should a woman face a strong wind at this time, she will be subject to such pains and problems once she gets older. She seemed quite surprised that neither my mother nor my grandmother suffer from such problems, and that they both certainly left their beds during that first month. Her answer - maybe foreign people and Chinese people are different this way.

The people of Shanghai are a tolerant bunch. Being used to foreigners are neighbors, I don't receive more than a grin and a few clucks when local people see me out and about with my newborn child. But trust me - I receive those few clucks from every single person I come in contact with.

What We've Been Reading

The hectic last few months have rather sweetly offered plenty of time for reading. Especially the last two weeks or so, where sitting on the rooftop terrace with my feet propped up has been my primary course of action. And as we see ourselves at the end of our time here, I've been focusing on our books about China. So, you China scholars, here are a few more books to add to your registers.

Unfortunately, I am running on limited brain power these days. So although I can recommend both books, I can probably not write beautiful prose on their reviews. Amusingly, I can hardly follow my own train of thought - often stopping midstream and wondering what I was talking about. We're assuming this will stop in a few days... or weeks.

The Good Women of China came out of a series of interviews by popular radio personality Xinran. This local Chinese woman lived in Beijing and had national recognition for her nighttime call-in show, leaving people with such trust of her that she had incredible access into women's stories. My mother read this book just before we moved to China, and found it horribly depressing. It is - no doubt. Although it does speak of women's strength, it also describes awful conditions and sometimes horrendous lifestyles. It is sometimes difficult to read, and is only recommended for someone with some knowledge about China. Still, Xinran tells stories which often remain untold. Too many women live oppressed lives in China - not only 25 years ago, when this book was written. And one of the ways to stop oppression is to bring it into the open. A well written book.

Wild Swans: Three Daughters of China by Jung Chang shows up on the shelves of most of the expats I know here in China. People seem to either love it or find it unfinishable. I loved it. Author Jung Chang writes this memoir of three generations of her family, covering the past decade of life in China. Through her family's incredible stories, she gives a detailed history of China since the early 1900s. Read this book because it is well written, or because it tells a compelling story about three very strong women. But more importantly, read this book because it will explain well what this country has looked like, felt like, and lived like through the past, tumultuous decade. Her personal approach helps the reader to understand many of the confusing choices people made during these times - to support the Communists, to join the Red Guards, to report on their neighbors. But it also personalizes the millions of people who lived through such difficult periods - and gives me newfound respect for so many people I now pass on the street. If you have any true interest in modern China, you must read this book.

James Fallows is a correspondent for The Atlantic, and lived in Shanghai and Beijing for a number of years as a foreign correspondent. He only returned to the US last summer, and pulled together Postcards from Tomorrow Square: Reports from China at the same time. Not a memoir, this book tells in depth some of the more interesting points of Fallows' time here as a journalist. Most interesting to Dave and I is that Fallows' time here overlapped quite closely with ours - and so the stories he tells are stories about our China. And in an ever-changing landscape, a difference of years can be quite a difference. Fallows writes well, and so this book is a simple read. He is clearly a good journalist, and so this book reports well on modern China. A good picture of today's China, I recommend this book as well.

A Frustated Social Worker

I planned to fire her.

I've written about Wendy before - she is our housekeeper, and has worked for our family for over 1.5 years. We think she is very smart and conscientious, and that she keeps our household running in a way we could not alone. She translates for us; she manages our repairs; she pays our bills and sends out our mail; she shops for us, finding mysterious things like Tylenol; and she washes the dishes and cleans the toilets, so we don't have to. Wendy is an important piece of our household.

So, when she began to check out about a week ago, I became worried.

I became worried that either A: I was nesting, and being overly obsessed about having a clean and orderly home; or B: she planned to quit.

As her behavior became less conscientious and her hours became shorter, I moved from worried to angry. And then she left Sophia outside alone twice, when responsible for the girls. This was an unsafe choice, and the last straw. Something had to be done.

I planned this morning to talk with her, and either move her to part-time with a serious drop in pay, or fire her outright. Then she showed up over an hour late for work, and my decision was made. She would be fired.

I sat her down, and asked What happened this morning? and I could not have expected her answer.

Her husband has been beating her heavily for the last week or so, while her daughter has coincidentally been developing a bad cold. Her husband and his parents (her household) blame her for the child's illness, which is leading to more physical and verbal abuse. Her friends and her family tell her she must bear it; she must swallow it. This is the Chinese way. But she says she can not bear it. What will her daughter learn? A little girl should not watch her mother allow someone to mistreat her so.

The social worker in me stepped into high gear. What's your story? What's your plan? How can I help?

In the US, we would have finished the afternoon by calling a domestic violence hotline, contacting legal aid, and finding a good counselor. But as far as I know, none of these services are available in China.

She is prepared to leave her husband. But she has a daughter, and believes that the law would place her daughter with her husband in case of a divorce. Because she is not Shanghainese, she has no power here.

Interestingly, here are the 2 ways to become Shanghainese (that is, a legal resident of Shanghai):
- be married to a Shanghainese person for 10 years; or
- buy property in Shanghai and live there for 5 years.

My social worker sense is going crazy.

Further, I contacted our church for someone who might be able to help her. They gave me Mary's phone number. Wendy called Mary, and here's what Mary told her. Mary said that her husband must love her, and her husband must love her daughter. Her husband simply does not know how to control himself, and must learn to. The only way to solve their problem is to get to know God.

And so Wendy asked me, If I know God, will this solve my problem?

Here's my big moment. I've had evangelism placed right in my lap. Someone is asking me to guide her to Christianity, right? And what do I say?

No. If you know God, you will still have this problem.

I may have just dropped a few rungs on the stairway to heaven, but I am so angry with Mary for suggesting that domestic violence and spousal abuse have such a "simple" answer. I explained to her that yes, God is all powerful. And yes, God can make her husband stop hitting her. But also that Christians are not without problems. That God could work through her and her husband, but probably would not overnight. And that she still ought to remove herself and her daughter from a dangerous situation.

Now, don't worry - I have not taken this problem on as my own. In fact, I am selfishly relieved that I do not need to search for a new ayi. But I am amazed, if not disappointed, that no safety net seems to exist for someone in her situation. I am so frustrated to have already exhausted all of my resources for her. How can I advise her to stay? How supportive am I if I say she must leave, when she has no choice but to stay?

The girls saw her crying, and worry that she is sad. They added her to our list of God blesses at the end of the day. I pray that He will.

The Unending Winter

Now, this is a great idea. In China, the first day of Spring is announced when temperatures over five consecutive days average above 10 degrees Celsius, or 50 degrees Fahrenheit. This year, that day came on March 24th - making the first day of Spring in Shanghai Friday, March 19. That makes this winter Shanghai's longest in 15 years.

Seriously now, this is a swell idea. It more literally reflects how we talk and feel. And this has been a long winter. Although our high today reached 52 degrees, temps are quickly dropping to the lower forties. While yesterday saw sunshine and a high in the mid-70s, the forecasts for the rest of the week look more like today - rainy and chilly.

Over the past two years, we've been wearing shorts by early April. This year, we're still wearing sweaters now, and this week's forecast shows no signs of improvement. Particularly troublesome because my really-big-belly clothes, purchased back in September, expected a warm April of skirts and tank tops. This 34 week belly is really pushing the limits of my jeans and sweaters!

A Giant Step for China's Orphans

We are happy to support The Half the Sky Foundation, an organization offering "nurturing care for China's orphanaed children." We support them for a number of reasons. First, because we ought to be supporting organizations working to better the place where we live. Next, because supporting China's orphanages is certainly also supporting our Mei Mei until she joins our family. But also because they are a fantastic organization. It is with Half the Sky that I worked with my friends to bring Music Together into the orphanages of China. It is an Half the Sky orphanage I had the privilege of visiting. I have met many of their employees, and I believe in their mission.

All of that to say that we receive their newsletter. And their newsletter had a monumental announcement for China's orphans. I'd love to share it with you. Due to the hard work, effective lobbying and good example of Half the Sky, the Chinese government has decided to:

- Change CCAA (China Center for Adoption Affairs) into CCWC (China Child Welfare Center), making one organization responsible for the welfare of all Chinese children.

- Renew its efforts to find a family for every child, with the recognize that healthy orphans are now rare in the Chinese system but children with special needs still live without families.

- Open children’s welfare institutions to the community, turning them into community centers that provide services like HTS programs for all children, especially those who are disadvantaged: preschools and enrichment classes and guidance for teens and young parents who have no other place to turn. By doing this, CCWC tackles a major failing of all institutionalization – that children grow up in total isolation from the real world.

This will have a huge impact on each of the children under state care in China, bringing them into community with their peers outside of their institution through schools and community events, and placing children without adoptive families into Family Village homes, essentially foster homes with families and true community.

This will also have a huge impact on Half the Sky, as they are working toward putting themselves out of business. They will hand over their institutions to CCWC and become trainers, mentors and facilitators for the Chinese system within five years.

Change can happen fast in China, but quick change generally only happens as it has a positive effect on the economy. It is beautiful to see such a change in the planning stages, knowing that this change will happen fast as well, and will have a dramatic effect on so many Chinese children and so many Chinese families.

If you've had any money seeking a way to make a difference, this would be a worthwhile place to send it.

Poor Wendy

Wendy arrived this morning, and told me she had a nightmare last night. She woke up in a cold sweat. I asked her, What did you dream?

She said,

You sold me. I dreamed that you sold me. I overheard you and Dave talking. You had spent too much money, and you both decided that you could get a lot of money if you sold me to another family.

I laughed, and promised that I had no plans to sell her. I thought nothing more of it.

We've asked a lot of Wendy over the past week, as she's been helping us to renew our adoption paperwork. Her week:

Thursday - She had to arrange Dave's and my local police background checks, meaning multiple trips back and forth to a police station in town, as well as a stop at Dave's office.

Friday through Monday - She had to travel to her hometown for her own police background check. Although she enjoyed the time with her family, she also felt the stress of traveling with a 2 year old and came back to a home full of laundry and dirty dishes. Plus, she spent quite a bit of her time at home waiting in lines at the local police bureau.

Tuesday - She had to report to a clinic for a health exam, again for the adoption paperwork. She began working for us after our last home study, and now must be added to our file as an Adult Member of the Household.

Wednesday - I host a weekly Bible Study, so she had a normal day of washing lots of dishes and shaking crumbs out of the rug. Plus, stopping at the clinic first thing to pee in a cup again.

Thursday - That's this morning. We took her along to the U.S. Consulate to have each of our fingerprints taken. Dave went first, and then me. When it came her turn, she said something to the fingerprint-er in Chinese, and laughed nervously. What did you say? I asked her. The fingerprint-er replied, She says she feels like she is being sold. Many Chinese people feel this way. Apparently, a fingerprint was (is? I hope not!) like signing on the dotted line to sell oneself in China. We promised her that the prints only go to America, so she can only be sold there. We explained that fingerprints in the U.S. are used to see if someone has committed a crime, and so we explained that now she probably can't commit a crime in the states as easily. She said she'd just wear gloves.

Tomorrow - She will return to the clinic to pick up the paperwork from her physical.

And with that last piece of paper, we'll make a bunch of photocopies, place everything in a heavy envelope and overnight it to the good people of US Immigration Services to continue allowing us to wait for a baby from China.

The Lantern Festival

In Shanghai, the Spring Festival wraps around on the 15th day of the New Year with the celebration of the Lantern Festival. This has got to be my favorite of the Chinese celebrations. People have spent the past 2 weeks creating intricate paper lanterns, which they will hang outside on the 15th evening. These lanterns may have riddles, and families walk the streets looking at lanterns and solving riddles. What fun already, right?

Add in the fireworks that occur at any occasion in China. This time they centered around 8pm on Sunday night, and so Lilly and I enjoyed a firework-chasing walk through the neighborhood. Our neighbors shot off loud firecrackers in front of our house, and Lilly and I watched as they did their best to keep their dog from attacking the lit fuse. We walked down the street, watching boys light fuses of fireworks perched on top of the railings. We stood across the street from a shop keeper who must have lit 30 fireworks the style of a fountain of sparks - it was beautiful. We chased a few bright lights around for the best view, and we enjoyed watching cars swerve to avoid the fireworks exploding in the middle of the street. Certainly a festive walk!

We were further able to enjoy this festival by an invitation to the West Nanjing Road Community Center's Lantern Festival Celebration. It seems that this very Chinese community center has an administrator with an interest in sharing Chinese culture with expatriates, and so this festival was broadcast all through the Shanghai expat networks. The girls received free gifts at the door - noisemakers and stuffed dragons. We watched a dragon dance - the type where the lead dancer wears holds a dragon head over her own head, and the second person becomes the back legs. The dancing, jumping and posturing of each makes for a lively dance and a really interesting dragon. A hip-hop troupe of 8 year olds performed, and a large group of middle aged women danced with drums and flags before we reached naptime and headed home.

Sadly, I did not bring my camera to this awesome event. But 50% of the Chinese people did, and most of them have quite a few shots of my children now on their memory cards. We seemed more popular than the dancers!

Chinese New Year: A Primer

The official holiday has now finished, so I’m posting this primer a bit late. But as our family chose to stay in China for Chinese New Year, I figured you ought to benefit from our newly gained knowledge. I quizzed Wendy on her family’s Spring Festival traditions – for the Chinese do not call it Chinese New Year. And our family is celebrating as well, although not in any of Wendy’s more traditional ways.

The Spring Festival celebrates the beginning of the lunar year, which began one week ago. The Spring Festival compares to America’s traditions of both Christmas and New Year’s Eve, rolled into one grand weekend. People spend time with their families – even in a country so full of migrants, and people. Train travel on the days leading up to the holiday is intense, with tickets selling out within hours of going on sale. Many of these tickets will be standing room only, for trips easily lasting 30 hours. This mass movement of people through China is said to be the largest annual migration of people worldwide.

Each person in China made every effort to be at their family home by Friday evening. So, the office was empty for Dave on Friday. The bus was quick for Wendy on Friday. Wendy did not travel for the holiday, because her husband’s family lives in Shanghai. Although she was clearly nostalgic for her family as she told of her traditions, she was also assured that a wife spends this holiday with her husband’s family. I am beginning to learn how few choices Wendy really has.

Friday night is an evening of feasting with family. As we walked the street on Friday, we could feel a charge in the air not unlike on Christmas Eve. People completed their last bits of shopping, waited with large bags for taxis and busses, loaded up on fruit and nuts and stood in line at the ATM. The atmosphere was calmer than usual, and much more congenial. And people sold fireworks everywhere. At the fruit stand, on the corner, at the bakery, at the quick shop. People sold fireworks everywhere. And although we began to hear fireworks as early at 8:00pm on Friday night, they would not begin in earnest until Saturday night – essentially New Year’s Eve.

Saturday was the true holiday, comparable to Christmas. This is another feast day, and the streets of Shanghai were eerily quiet. Most shops stood closed – with the exception of fruit stands, with lovely baskets of bright and exotic fruits displayed prominently. And fireworks – still plenty of fireworks for sale.

Wendy explained that on this day – essentially New Year’s Eve – families would follow a few key traditions.

Hong bao: these are red envelopes used for gifting money. Around the holiday, employers often give their employees a hong bao. On New Year’s Eve, adults will fill this with money and give them to children. Grandparents and aunts and uncles give them to their nieces and nephews – Wendy said it would be silly to give one to your own child. They’ll receive so many already! If the neighbor children knock on the door, they will receive cookies or candies.

Red Paper: People decorate their homes with red paper marked with their wishes for the year. Red paper on the front door will say fu (good luck) or gong xi fai cai (earn a lot of money). Red paper on livestock or barn doors will wish for a growing herd, and red paper on trees will wish for their long life. Red paper in the kitchen will wish for no fires, and red paper on the car will wish for no accidents in the coming year.

Cleaning: In this way, the first days of the New Year are much like the Jewish Sabbath. The family will not work on these days, allowing all of their household to rest and enjoy the holiday. No one will wash, because the water should rest. No one will use a knife or scissors, because those tools should rest as well. The observance of this holiday clearly has roots as a winter festival in an agrarian community. Many people in the countryside have no heat. So, to keep dishes and prepared food for a few days is not an issue. Likewise, not showering or washing clothes. Preparing the house and the body as clean for the New Year may be the larger piece.

Kind words: Possibly in the same tradition as beginning the year with a clean house and a clean body, a person should begin the year with a kind tongue. No one speaks ill of anyone else on the first few days of the new year, and people are never to get angry. Between the money from their family, the candy from their neighbors, and the rule against anger, kids must love this holiday!

Fireworks: Wendy explained that people will set off fireworks on the first 4 days of the new year, and then again on the 15^th day. Each day, she said it is good luck for the family who blasts the first fireworks of the morning. On New Year’s Eve, beginning around midnight, the whole country went alight. Again on the 5^th day of the festival, the city explodes. At great expense to themselves, families purchase fireworks of all types. They purchase large boxes of noisemakers, to make the city sound like a warzone. They purchase bright light style fireworks – the type that only the fire department sets off in America.

The entire country has a 7 day holiday. This began on Saturday and will continue until Friday. Offices opened again on Saturday and Dave is at work today, making this a 7 day work week.

In the villages, the holiday will last longer than 7 days. Many people will travel home for 2 weeks or a month. The many migrant workers making America’s T-shirts, computers and fake Christmas trees have received the entire month away from the factory and this will be the only time they see their family all year. Traditionally, the holiday has been celebrated for 3 months. Again, I remember that China is traditionally an agrarian culture without heat in most homes. In the 1^st month, families celebrate Chinese New Year with their loved ones and their friends. This includes dressing up as lions, carrying children in dry boats, singing for hong bao or cigarettes, and building dragons and lanterns. On the 15^th day of the New Year the full moon will rise, and people will hang out their lanterns, dance their large dragons and set off more fireworks. They will eat sticky rice balls and wish that their families live full lives, much like the full moon.

In the 2^nd month, people play games and in the 3^rd month people make plays. I love this one – that each village will put together a stage production of some sort, inviting all of their neighboring villages to see the performance. What a lovely way to spend the winter months, when no work can be done in the fields. Rather than be cooped up at home, spend the months playing games and putting together plays with your community.

Our family celebrated in a much simpler and thoroughly modern way. We played games, ate good food, and enjoy each other’s company. We spent time outside, playing in the snow in Moganshan and walking the quiet streets of Shanghai. We hosted a small party. And then sent Dave back to work on Saturday. Uncle H-- keeps him mighty busy these days, and so we particularly appreciate the week off.

Horoscopes

The Chinese link horoscopes to the lunar year of a person's birth. Dave and I are both Snakes, and so we share a horoscope for this year, the Year of the Tiger. According to one magazine, here it is:

It's a disastrous year for love - an affair is in the cards. But don't start snooping around behind your partner's back, as that's a lose-lose situation. This year, it's all about "out with the old, in with the new." Never mind that your business will probably lose a lot of money (if not flat out go bankrupt), this is a chance to weed out the unhappy things in life and make some changes. Thinking about quitting your job? It's a good year for that.

Makes us both feel pretty good about the changes we have planned. And I'm not putting too much stock in the love affair bit - I'll chalk it up to Dave falling in love with the Foreign Service.