Postponing Mei Mei

Within our little house, time seems to be standing still. We spend our days simply, painting and swimming, playing and cooking, and enjoying all three of our little girls. The days pass smoothly, and Annika lives so peacefully that we are enjoying how long she is staying little.

But outside of our house, time has not stood still. We received word from our social worker that our family is within the next 10 families to be matched by CCAA. Simply, we could be matched with Mei Mei within the next few weeks.

This would be disaster. Mei Mei would be older than Annika, and we would not be able to devote enough time and energy to either child. So, upon the advice of our social worker and our agency, we have written a letter to China. We state that we are still quite enthusiastic about adopting, but that to be fair to all of our children, we request our match be postponed until next year.

Our social worker has wonderful connections at CCAA, and feels good about this course of action. Because she has wonderful connections, I feel confident that she can help us make the right thing work. I am not comfortable with receiving a match when Annika is 12 months old - only 6 months age difference would be too close, and 12 months is simply too young to have the position of baby usurped. Fifteen months may have been too young, but we made it work 5 years ago. I could be convinced to make that work again.

But this is not the choice for today. For today, we chose to continue our adoption by postponing our match for at least 1 year. One less decision to worry about!

A Giant Step for China's Orphans

We are happy to support The Half the Sky Foundation, an organization offering "nurturing care for China's orphanaed children." We support them for a number of reasons. First, because we ought to be supporting organizations working to better the place where we live. Next, because supporting China's orphanages is certainly also supporting our Mei Mei until she joins our family. But also because they are a fantastic organization. It is with Half the Sky that I worked with my friends to bring Music Together into the orphanages of China. It is an Half the Sky orphanage I had the privilege of visiting. I have met many of their employees, and I believe in their mission.

All of that to say that we receive their newsletter. And their newsletter had a monumental announcement for China's orphans. I'd love to share it with you. Due to the hard work, effective lobbying and good example of Half the Sky, the Chinese government has decided to:

- Change CCAA (China Center for Adoption Affairs) into CCWC (China Child Welfare Center), making one organization responsible for the welfare of all Chinese children.

- Renew its efforts to find a family for every child, with the recognize that healthy orphans are now rare in the Chinese system but children with special needs still live without families.

- Open children’s welfare institutions to the community, turning them into community centers that provide services like HTS programs for all children, especially those who are disadvantaged: preschools and enrichment classes and guidance for teens and young parents who have no other place to turn. By doing this, CCWC tackles a major failing of all institutionalization – that children grow up in total isolation from the real world.

This will have a huge impact on each of the children under state care in China, bringing them into community with their peers outside of their institution through schools and community events, and placing children without adoptive families into Family Village homes, essentially foster homes with families and true community.

This will also have a huge impact on Half the Sky, as they are working toward putting themselves out of business. They will hand over their institutions to CCWC and become trainers, mentors and facilitators for the Chinese system within five years.

Change can happen fast in China, but quick change generally only happens as it has a positive effect on the economy. It is beautiful to see such a change in the planning stages, knowing that this change will happen fast as well, and will have a dramatic effect on so many Chinese children and so many Chinese families.

If you've had any money seeking a way to make a difference, this would be a worthwhile place to send it.

Poor Wendy

Wendy arrived this morning, and told me she had a nightmare last night. She woke up in a cold sweat. I asked her, What did you dream?

She said,

You sold me. I dreamed that you sold me. I overheard you and Dave talking. You had spent too much money, and you both decided that you could get a lot of money if you sold me to another family.

I laughed, and promised that I had no plans to sell her. I thought nothing more of it.

We've asked a lot of Wendy over the past week, as she's been helping us to renew our adoption paperwork. Her week:

Thursday - She had to arrange Dave's and my local police background checks, meaning multiple trips back and forth to a police station in town, as well as a stop at Dave's office.

Friday through Monday - She had to travel to her hometown for her own police background check. Although she enjoyed the time with her family, she also felt the stress of traveling with a 2 year old and came back to a home full of laundry and dirty dishes. Plus, she spent quite a bit of her time at home waiting in lines at the local police bureau.

Tuesday - She had to report to a clinic for a health exam, again for the adoption paperwork. She began working for us after our last home study, and now must be added to our file as an Adult Member of the Household.

Wednesday - I host a weekly Bible Study, so she had a normal day of washing lots of dishes and shaking crumbs out of the rug. Plus, stopping at the clinic first thing to pee in a cup again.

Thursday - That's this morning. We took her along to the U.S. Consulate to have each of our fingerprints taken. Dave went first, and then me. When it came her turn, she said something to the fingerprint-er in Chinese, and laughed nervously. What did you say? I asked her. The fingerprint-er replied, She says she feels like she is being sold. Many Chinese people feel this way. Apparently, a fingerprint was (is? I hope not!) like signing on the dotted line to sell oneself in China. We promised her that the prints only go to America, so she can only be sold there. We explained that fingerprints in the U.S. are used to see if someone has committed a crime, and so we explained that now she probably can't commit a crime in the states as easily. She said she'd just wear gloves.

Tomorrow - She will return to the clinic to pick up the paperwork from her physical.

And with that last piece of paper, we'll make a bunch of photocopies, place everything in a heavy envelope and overnight it to the good people of US Immigration Services to continue allowing us to wait for a baby from China.

The Plot Thickens

The comfort of living a dramatic life is the knowledge that it will someday lay out into a great story - a bestselling novel. But this is becoming too much. The book would be too confusing for anyone to follow!

A few updates for you:

The Foreign Service Register:
Remember from before that Dave has received his Security Clearance and now waits on the Register to be invited to one of the monthly training classes. Dave arrived on the register in the middle forties. Within two weeks, he had fallen to the low fifties. Further, State only reached as low as the middle 30s in their invitations for the May class.

What does this mean?

Well, this is all pure speculation. But we speculate that many people have tested well in the Political cone lately, and that a score of 5.6 may no longer be enough to guarantee a spot in the Foreign Service. This possibility makes Dave extremely anxious, bordering on depression. I feel much more confident that he will eventually be called, but the situation certainly calls for a pro-active stance.

Dave has begun studying Chinese, because passing a telephone language test would add either 0.17 or 0.4 points to his score. If he passes the test, he will certainly have a high enough score to guarantee a spot in the next class. If he does not pass the test, he will prepare to begin the entire process over again. He would take the written exam again, and pass easily. A few months later, he would take the Oral Exam again in a different cone (Economics, most likely). Even if he received the same score, he would be guaranteed a spot in the next class because the Political cone is the only one currently overrun.

Impact?

Although DC is still a possibility for this summer, it is certainly not a sure bet. But Uncle H-- moving us outside of Shanghai is a sure bet. Staying put is not an option.

The Move:
Uncle H-- still wants to move us to Hong Kong this summer. I have begun to realize how difficult this would be. Housing and rent would be challenging, as would setting up school (preschool registration forms are expected this month). I would expect to stay for about 6 months - not long enough to make friends or establish or a real support group. Not really long enough to hire a good ayi or figure out how to maneuver a new foreign city. And facing each of these challenges with a newborn and two preschoolers only intensifies the situation.

We have asked Uncle H-- to consider moving us to Chicago instead. Professionally, Dave hates this option. I must keep reminding him that he wants no future with this company, but he still struggles with the choice. The advantages of Chicago are numerous. Much of Dave's family lives in the Chicago area, and my parents are a simple weekend away in St. Louis. We could surround the girls with their family, and Dave with a wonderful support system during this transition period. And, we could almost certainly get The Red Chair from Chicago to DC when the time came.

But if finding a circle of friends for me within 6 months would be difficult in Hong Kong, it feels nearly impossible in the western suburbs on Chicago. Plus, get this logistic - in the DC area, Lilly is kindergarten age this fall. In the Chicago area she was born 4 days too late. One more city to begin researching preschools - and this time, we seek the right place (and tuition) for 2 children.

The Adoption:
As if all this were not enough.

We updated our homestudy this weekend in order to remain on the waiting list to adopt a child from China. Our social worker shared some interesting speculation of her own with us. Let me ensure you are up to date with us on the adoption, though.

We chose to become pregnant last summer because it looked as if our wait would end up being 3 years total. Such a wait would bring about a 5-6 year gap between Sophia and Mei Mei, which made us uncomfortable. So, after speaking with our adoption agency, we decided we ought to just sneak a little Jake in the middle there.

Fast-forward to December, when a number of expedited families living in China were matched with their baby. They had been waiting about 22 months, which looked like a pattern to us. We speculated that we would be matched with our baby next spring. Jake would be about 15 months old when we picked up her 6 month old sister. It would be close, but it would be possible.

Our social worker gave different - and much more informed - speculation. It looks to her as if expedited families are ready to move quickly. She speculates that we could receive our match anytime - she says there seems to be no pattern at all.

Bad news.

Bad news because China will not (and should not) allow us to adopt Mei Mei while we have a child under 12 months old in our home.

Bad news because we do not have a 6 month grace period, as we originally thought.

And bad news because we've already got enough uncertainty in our lives.

** A few words of comfort for you, though. Although we have this hanging over our heads, it has very little impact on our daily lives. We still enjoy our friends and the emerging spring weather, and we continue to feel the excitement of a new baby joining our family in a few weeks. Our future certainly calls for as much prayer, faith and grace as we can summon. But the days are far from dark.

Baby News

The announcement about Jake's May arrival has some people worried about Mei Mei, and whether or not she will still be joining our family. The answer is yes. Here's how it shakes out.

When we began the adoption process, we expected to receive Mei Mei right about now. Paperwork had been taking about 6 months, and expedited families usually picked up their child about 1 year after having submitted their paperwork. Those dates should have worked out to December 2009.

However, the Hague treaty foiled us a bit, causing our paperwork to take 10 months rather than 6. And the Chinese government seems to have put a hold on expedited families. For many months, no expedited families received a match. And so that wait grew from 1 year to 15 months, and then 18 months, and then 20 months.

We looked at our family. The way this gap continued to grow, we could easily be facing a 3 year wait. With that, Sophia would be 6 years old when we finally picked up Mei Mei, and Lilly would be 7. That gap was not how we envisioned our family, and hence Jake. We prayerfully decided that we should just pop another kid into the middle there, and even out the numbers a bit.

Pregnancy has no major impact on the legalities and details of our adoption. It means that we need to file some extra paperwork, and it puts us under one stipulation: Jake must be at least 12 months old when we receive Mei Mei. Fine by us, I say. Mei Mei will be between 6 and 9 months old, and we're all too glad to have an enforced gap - however big or small it may be. We also have the option of voluntarily extending our wait time by 6 months - this would not keep Mei Mei in an institution for 6 months, but simply keep us on the list longer.

Finally, we received word this week that a few expedited families had been matched to their child. It seems that the wait time for them was about 22 months. That will be our minimum, with the possibility that it could rise over the next 1-2 years. So, here's the timeline:

2010, May - Jake is born
2010, June - We hope to move to DC
2011, Jan. - We likely move to our first posting
2011, Jan. - 22 months from when we logged in our paperwork
under this, the shortest expected time span, we would choose to extend by 6 months
2011, May - Jake is 12 months old
2011, July - 22 + 6 months from when we logged in our paperwork
We potentially receive match info for Mei Mei
2011, Aug. - We travel to China and pick up Mei Mei, who will be between 6 and 10 months old

Under this scenario, here's the family lineup. In August of 2011,
Lilly will be 6 years old
Sophia will be 4.5 years old
Jake will be 15 months old
Mei Mei will be 6-10 months old

For those of you hard up for calculators or calendars, that is a 5-9 month gap between Jake and Mei Mei. But luckily, as Jake will be born near the end of the school year, they would land in different school years. Once they reach school age, they would become 1 year apart rather than simply a few months.

This is not exactly the gap we were hoping for. A difference of about 18-24 months would be preferable, but we trust God's timing in each of these dates. And hope to live somewhere we can both A: afford household help and B: host grandparents / aunts & uncles / friends who like to help out for long periods of time.

Disappointing, to say the least

Call me a lazy writer, but this shocking story from the China Daily speaks for itself.

Abortion Statistics Cause for Concern
By Shan Juan in Beijing and Qian Yanfeng in Shanghai (China Daily)
Updated: 2009-07-30 06:45

Inadequate knowledge about contraception is a major factor in the 13 million abortions performed in China every year, research shows.

Abortion statistics cause for concern

This is an unfortunate - and avoidable - situation, experts said, and improvements need to be made.

Li Ying, a professor at Peking University, said Wednesday that young people need more knowledge about sex.

A survey done by 411 Hospital of PLA (People's Liberation Army) in Shanghai, for example, found that less than 30 percent of callers to a hotline knew how to avoid pregnancy, and only 17 percent were aware of venereal diseases.

More than 70 percent said they did not know sexual transmission is the major contributor to the spread of HIV/AIDS.

Li said Chinese parents are reluctant to teach their children about sex, so more needs to be done on sex education.

"Sex education needs to be strengthened, with universities and our society giving more guidance," she said.

Wu Shangchun, a division director of the National Population and Family Planning Commission's technology research center, told China Daily that research shows nearly half of the women who had abortions had not used any form of contraception.

"The challenge of reducing (the number) of women seeking abortions in China is tough," Wu said.

Yu Dongyan, a hospital gynecologist, said new mores have changed the social setting.

"Sex is no longer considered taboo among young people today, and they believe they can learn everything they need from the Internet. But it doesn't mean they've developed a proper understanding or attitude toward it," Yu said.

Government statistics show that about 62 percent of the women who have abortions are between 20 and 29 years old, and most are single.

Wu said the real number of abortions is much higher than reported, because the figures are collected only from registered medical institutions.

Many abortions, Wu said, are performed in unregistered clinics.

Also, about 10 million abortion-inducing pills, used in hospitals for early-stage abortions, are sold every year in the country, she said.

The Shanghai hotline, which offers help for pregnant women, has reported an increase in calls, mostly from women 18 and under.

Figures from 411 Hospital show that as many as 30 calls were received on its hotline some days this month, compared with about 10 per day in previous months.

Most callers had questions about what to do after becoming pregnant or how to get an abortion, said Yu.

Wu said birth control information mainly reaches young married couples.

The morning-after pill, which can be used within 120 hours of intercourse to prevent pregnancy, has been widely sold as emergency contraception since 1998, she said.

Wu said the pills have sold well, but she added that incorrect use is a problem.

Wu also said much information on the Internet about sex frequently is incorrect.

Sun Xiaohong, of the educational center of Shanghai's Population and Family Planning Commission, said she found it difficult to promote sex education in schools because some teachers and parents believe it will encourage sex.

Sun Aijun, a leading gynecologist at Beijing Union Hospital, said there also is a misconception among some women that the contraceptive pill is unsafe.

Sun said many unmarried couples choose to use condoms, but that this can be problematic because some women find it difficult to turn down requests from a partner not to use them.

Abortions cost about 600 yuan ($88). Since the 1990s, doctors have not asked for a woman's marital status when an abortion is performed.

There are about 20 million births in the country each year, Wu said.

Loosening the One Child Policy

The wait for children adopted from China continues to grow, and this primarily because China has fewer children needing to be adopted. The loosening of the one child policy no doubt has a role in this. Parents who have no siblings and live in rural areas have long been allowed two children. But now, these same type of parents living in urban areas are actively encouraged to have two children. A new policy in Shanghai plans to proactively encourage young couples to have two children, by visiting their home and handing out literature. Such a shift in policy!

I only found references to this in British papers - The Times and The Telegraph, which is also quoted below.

China begins lifting strict one-child policy
China has taken the first step towards ending its controversial one-child policy by encouraging urban couples in Shanghai to have two children.
By Malcolm Moore in Shanghai
Published: 4:51PM BST 24 Jul 2009

The easing of restrictions comes in response to concern about economic problems caused by the country's ageing population. Shanghai is actively promoting the two-child policy as China tries to defuse a demographic time bomb caused by a shortage of young workers after 30 years of tough population growth restrictions.
If they are both single children themselves, husbands and wives in Shanghai are allowed to have two children.
While they have technically been allowed to do so before, the couples are now the target of a city-wide campaign to persuade them to make use of their extra allowance. They will receive home visits and leaflets to promote the benefits of a second child. The city government is worried about the rapidly rising number of elderly people and the resulting burden and drag on the Chinese economy. "We advocate eligible couples to have two kids because it can help reduce the proportion of ageing people and alleviate a workforce shortage in the future," said Xie Lingli, the head of Shanghai's family planning commission, to the China Daily newspaper.
The policy shift will prove popular. A recent survey released by the Shanghai family planning commission showed that more than half of 4,800 respondents, aged between 20 and 30, said would like a second child if the one-child policy was eased. China's one-child policy was originally designed to make sure the huge country's population remained at a manageable size, given the country's relatively low water, energy and food resources. Experts predicted earlier this week that there will be zero growth in China's population of 1.3 billion people by 2030.
The US-based Centre for Strategic and International Studies warned in April that mainland China will have more than 438 million people older than 60 by 2050, with more than 100 million aged 80 and above. The country will then have a population ratio of 1.6 working-age adults to support every person aged 60 and above, as compared with 7.7 in 1975. Shanghai's over-60 population already numbers more than three million, or more than one-fifth of residents. But that proportion is expected to rise to around one-third by 2020.
In China, the number of citizens over 65 is forecast to more than treble from 106 million today to 329 million by 2040. This will hugely increase the cost of pensions and impose a major constraint on the future growth of China's economy. Some economists have predicted that the stellar growth rates which have buoyed China's economy will become impossible with so many people set to leave the working population. The demographic crisis has been compounded by government population policy which is estimated to have resulted in the birth of 400 million fewer people.
Population forecasts have shown that if the current one-child policy continues China's children of today, at the time of marriage in 20 years, could face the task of taking care of four parents and as many as eight grandparents.
At last week's Venice Biennale, Chinese artist Xing Xin has locked himself in a iron box for 49 days to protest at the one child policy which has long been criticised on human rights grounds.

Feeling Sick

I just read an article in the International Herald Tribune, the global edition of The New York Times.  A problem which I had never heard of, and which makes me feel sick to my stomach.  I've included the article in full below, as well as a link to the story on the IHT's website.  I take issue with a few of the points they make, but clearly the problem is significant.  And the problem makes me sick.

China's one-child policy coupled with a strong cultural preference for raising male heirs has led to a lopsided gender balance in China.  Particularly in rural areas, boys can outnumber girls by 20% and the current generation has millions more boys than girls.  This problem alone is tremendous.  The problem I knew nothing about was the lengths people will go to gain their male heir.

According to the article below, kidnapping young boys - toddlers, generally, ages 3-5 years old - is quite common.  These children will be sold to families in different provinces who desparately seek a male heir.  The practice is so common that people in certain villages and provinces understand that many of the children playing on their playgrounds and attending their schools have been stolen, but the people in authority (and many others, apparently) have no real objection to the practice.

And according to people quoted in the story, the choice to buy a kidnapped young boy is one of saving face and gaining honor.  People say that they're not as good as the people around them if they don't have a son.  People adopt a son, and then force their daughter to drop out of school so they can lavish the boy with gifts.

The motive makes me sick.  The widespread nature of the crime makes me sick.  The acceptability of the crime makes me sick.

Chinese Hunger for Sons Fuels Boys’ Abductions

By ANDREW JACOBS

Published: April 4, 2009

SHENZHEN, China — The thieves often strike at dusk, when children are playing outside and their parents are distracted by exhaustion.

Deng Huidong lost her 9-month-old son in the blink of an eye as a man yanked him from the grip of his 7-year-old sister near the doorway of their home. The car did not even stop as a pair of arms reached out the window and grabbed the boy.

Sun Zuo, a gregarious 3 1/2-year-old, was lured off by someone with a slice of mango and a toy car, an abduction that was captured by police surveillance cameras.

Peng Gaofeng was busy with customers when a man snatched his 4-year-old son from the plaza in front of his shop as throngs of factory workers enjoyed a spring evening. “I turned away for a minute, and when I called out for him he was gone,” Mr. Peng said.

These and thousands of other children stolen from the teeming industrial hubs of China’s Pearl River Delta have never been recovered by their parents or by the police. But anecdotal evidence suggests the children do not travel far. Although some are sold to buyers in Singapore, Malaysia and Vietnam, most of the boys are purchased domestically by families desperate for a male heir, parents of abducted children and some law enforcement officials who have investigated the matter say.

The demand is especially strong in rural areas of south China, where a tradition of favoring boys over girls and the country’s strict family planning policies have turned the sale of stolen children into a thriving business.

Su Qingcai, a tea farmer from the mountainous coast of Fujian Province, explained why he spent $3,500 last year on a 5-year-old boy. “A girl is just not as good as a son,” said Mr. Su, 38, who has a 14-year-old daughter but whose biological son died at 3 months. “It doesn’t matter how much money you have. If you don’t have a son, you are not as good as other people who have one.”

The centuries-old tradition of cherishing boys — and a custom that dictates that a married woman moves in with her husband’s family — is reinforced by a modern reality: Without a real social safety net in China, many parents fear they will be left to fend for themselves in old age.

The extent of the problem is a matter of dispute. The Chinese government insists there are fewer than 2,500 cases of human trafficking each year, a figure that includes both women and children. But advocates for abducted children say there may be hundreds of thousands.

Sun Haiyang, whose son disappeared in 2007, has collected a list of 2,000 children in and around Shenzhen who have disappeared in the past two years. He said none of the children in his database had been recovered. “It’s like fishing a needle out of the sea,” he said.

Mr. Peng, who started an ad hoc group for parents of stolen children, said some of the girls were sold to orphanages. They are the lucky ones who often end up in the United States or Europe after adoptive parents pay fees to orphanages that average $5,000.

The unlucky ones, especially older children, who are not in demand by families, can end up as prostitutes or indentured laborers. Some of the children begging or hawking flowers in major Chinese cities are in the employ of criminal gangs that abducted them. “I don’t even want to talk about what happens to these children,” Mr. Peng said, choking up.

Police Indifference

Here in Shenzhen and the constellation of manufacturing towns packed with migrant workers, desperate families say they get almost no help from the local police. In case after case, they said, the police insisted on waiting 24 hours before taking action, and then claimed that too much time had passed to mount an effective investigation.

Several parents, through their own guile and persistence, have tracked down surveillance video images that clearly show the kidnappings in progress. Yet even that can fail to move the police, they say. “They told me a face isn’t enough, that they need a name,” said Cai Xinqian, who obtained tape from a store camera that showed a woman leading his 4-year-old away. “If I had a name, I could find him myself.”

Chen Fengyi, whose 5-year-old son was snatched from outside her apartment building in Huizhou, said she called the police the moment she realized he was missing. “They told me they would come right over,” she said. “I went outside to wait for them and they never came.”

When she is not scouring the streets at night for her son, Ms. Chen and her husband go to the local police station and fall to their knees. “We cry and beg them to help,” she said, “and every time they say, ‘Why are you so hung up on this one thing?’ ”

Many parents take matters into their own hands. They post fliers in places where children are often sold and travel the country to stand in front of kindergartens as they let out. A few who run shops have turned their storefronts into missing person displays. “We spend our life savings, we borrow money, we will do anything to find our children,” said Mr. Peng, who owns a long-distance phone call business in Gongming, not far from Shenzhen. “There is a hole in our hearts that will never heal.”

The reluctance of the police to investigate such cases has a variety of explanations. Kidnappers often single out the children of migrant workers because they are transients who may fear the local police and whose grievances are not treated as high priorities.

Moreover, the police in China’s authoritarian bureaucracy are rarely rewarded for responding to crimes affecting people who do not have much political clout. Mr. Peng said the police preferred not to even open a missing person’s inquiry because unsolved cases made them appear inefficient, reducing their annual bonuses.

There are exceptions. In a number of high-profile cases, the police have cracked down on trafficking rings and publicized the results. But such help remains rare, parents say.

Turning to Beijing

Mr. Peng says that boys’ abductions are a growing problem that only the central government can address. He and others have been agitating for the establishment of a DNA database for children and stronger antitrafficking laws that would penalize people who buy stolen children. “If the government can launch satellites and catch spies, they can figure out how to find stolen children,” said Mr. Peng, who helps run a Web site called Baby Come Home.

Chen Shiqu, the director of the Office of Combating Human Trafficking, a two-year-old government agency based in Beijing, said the problem of stolen children was exaggerated. He said that, contrary to parent advocates and some news reports, the number of cases was on the decline, although he was unable to provide figures to back up that assertion. “Just say they are dropping by 10 percent a year,” he said. He added that if parents were unsatisfied with the police response, they should call 110, China’s equivalent of 911.

Yang Jianchang, a legislator in Shenzhen, said he had been trying to get the central government’s attention, with little success. Two years ago, he said, a group of local businessmen tried to start a foundation to track missing children. But the government, which requires that the establishment of private organizations be approved, has yet to grant them permission.

Last June, after he sent a report on the issue to the central government and got no response, Mr. Yang started sending the Ministry of Civil Affairs a copy every month or so. “I just don’t understand why no one is paying attention to this problem,” he said. “We need someone in the central government who will fight for the rights of the people, someone who has a conscience.”

For the parents of missing children, the heartbreak and the frustration have turned into anger. Last September, about 40 families traveled to the capital to call attention to the plight of abducted children. They staged a brief protest at the headquarters of the national television broadcaster, but within minutes, dozens of police officers arrived to haul them away.

“They dragged us by our hair and said, ‘How dare you question the government,’ ” said Peng Dongying, who lost her 4-year-old son. “I hate myself for my child’s disappearance, but I hate society more for not caring. All of us have this pain in common, and we will do anything to get back our children.”

Buyers’ Remorse

In Anxi, a verdant county in Fujian where some of Shenzhen’s stolen boys are thought to have been sold, people focus more on the pain of the families without sons.

Zhen Zibao, a shopkeeper in the Kuidou, said that buying a son was widely accepted and that stolen children could be found in most towns and villages. She and other residents noted that when a daughter married and moved to her husband’s home, it often left her parents without a caretaker in old age. Then there is the dowry, a financial burden that falls to the family of a bride.

“If you have only girls, you don’t feel right inside,” said Ms. Zhen, who has one child, an 11-year-old son. “You feel your status is lower than everyone else.”

Although many Chinese still cherish male heirs, the Communist Party has largely succeeded in easing age-old attitudes about gender. In major cities, where one-child families have become the norm, many parents say they are happy to have a daughter and no son.

Still, in many rural areas, including Anxi County, a resident whose first child is a daughter is allowed to have a second. Having a third child, however, can mean steep fines as high as $5,800 and other penalties that include the loss of a breadwinner’s job.

A boy, by contrast, can often be bought for half that amount, and authorities may turn a blind eye if the child does not need to be registered as a new birth in the locale.

In some cases, local officials may even encourage people desperate for a son to buy one. After their 3-month-old son died, Zhou Xiuqin said, the village family planning official went to her home and tried to comfort her and her husband, who was compelled to have a vasectomy after the birth of the boy, their second child. “He said, ‘Don’t cry, stop crying, you can always buy another one,’ ” Ms. Zhou recalled.

Ms. Zhou and her husband, Mr. Su, the tea farmer, were still in mourning in October 2007 when they spotted a child at a Buddhist temple in their village, Dailai, a picturesque hamlet of 800 people nestled in the fold of steep mountains. “The boy was eating candy like he was hungry,” Mr. Su recalled. “Everything he was wearing was too small for him.”

A man with the boy claimed to be his father. He said that he was from a nearby town and had three sons, but that he needed money to take his ill wife to the hospital. “I asked how much,” said Mr. Su, an earnest man who works long hours in a clothing factory when he is not tending his tea plants.

After some quick bargaining, the price was dropped to $3,500 from $4,100, and a few hours later, after borrowing money from friends and family members, they took the boy home. They named him Jiabao, which means “guarantor of the family.”

Their love for their new son was boundless. They bought him new clothing and had their daughter drop out of middle school to take care of him. They did not think much of the fact that Jiabao did not understand the dialect spoken in that part of Fujian and seemed indifferent to the local cuisine. Mr. Su insisted that he never imagined that the boy had been stolen.

Last August, Mr. Su learned the truth after the police in Sichuan Province arrested the man who had sold them the child. The man, part of a ring of seven people who had abducted 11 children, had sold four of them to families in their township. The man, according to the police, has since been given a 12-year sentence.

By the time the couple got home from work the day they got the news, their son and the three other stolen children in their village had already been taken away by the police. The couple was inconsolable. “We were lied to, we were swindled,” Mr. Su said as his wife’s eyes welled up.

There was, however, a small consolation. A sympathetic policeman in Sichuan, the province where the boy was stolen, helped put them in touch with his birth parents. The two couples have since been in frequent contact; Mr. Su said the real parents held no grudge, acknowledging that the family had cared for their son well.

The father was so grateful, he told Mr. Su he would be on the lookout for local families who had two sons but were too poor to care for them. “He said that way I don’t need to deal with child traffickers anymore,” Mr. Su said.

L.I.D.

When we arrived back home this afternoon, the following email lie waiting in our inbox.

Hi,

Just letting you know we rec'd notification of your Log In at CCAA.

Your LID is 3.3.2009.

Congratulations.

You are officially a "waiting family".

Please make a note of your paperwork expiration dates and check in with questions along the wait.  You should be receiving our monthly update - so look for that as well!

Take care,

CAWLI

If the DTC was the positive pregnancy test, this is that first visit to the doctor.  The OB has done an ultrasound and shown the evidence.  There's definitely a baby waiting for our family.

We expect this "pregnancy" to last another 20-24 months, so Mei Mei has yet to be conceived.  Over the next few months we'll have to annually update our family physicals and our national background checks - both from the US government and from the Shanghai local government.  We'll have to update our home study whenever we move.  We've got plenty of paperwork ahead of us, beginning in August when the first item expires.  Still, Mei Mei is a more real member of our family now than ever before.

Home Study, part 3

Although I originally began this posting on September 6th, I am also posting it as of February 24th because I would hate anyone interested to overlook it. I do not know how I missed publishing it, but this is wonderful information for anyone interesting in adoption from China.  This was written after the final day of our home study.

The final portion of our home study was a 3 hour training this morning. Our social worker shared so much information that I wish I had been taking notes. I'll do my best to remember the most striking pieces.

A roadmap, to aid your digestion:

A. Why the wait?

B. Why are so many girls abandoned?

C. CCAA - friend or foe?

D. The pick-up

E. The Adoptee

Why the long wait?

Once we submit all of our documentation, having been approved for parenthood by a licensed social worker, the government of the United States, and the government of China, we will then wait from about 18 months to maybe over 2 years to be matched with our child. This is under expedited processing. Families living outside of China are currently waiting over 4 years for their match.

Our social worker offered 4 reasons for the wait. Each reason is very good. And she assured us that healthy young children are not lingering in the system. A common misconception is that loads of little babies are growing up in orphanges because the government is working slowly on its paperwork, and that is simply not true. In fact, young healthy children are not lingering in institutions. There are extremely few toddlers in orphanages in China.

Reason #1 - Adoptions are on the rise in China. The goal of every country is to have their children remain in their homeland, and this is a worthy goal. The people receiving top priority to adopt are Chinese nationals living in China. And as the economy improves, and further as foreigners remove the stigma from adopting, Chinese people are adopting more of their own and lengthening the wait for the rest of us (hooray!). Expatriates living in China are reviewed second, but Chinese locals receive top priority.

Reason #2 - Rates of infant abandonment have dropped. Again, thanks to the improved economy. Although much work remains, China has accomplished an unbelievable task in lifting amazing numbers of people out of poverty over the last two decades. Less poverty means more people able to raise their own children, and/or afford birth control (hooray!).

Reason #3 - Checking it twice. Apparently the local rumor mill had a basis in fact, and in recent years a woman arranged the kidnapping of 15 Chinese children which she then sold to orphanages and who were subsequently adopted. This story still spreads like wildfire among the expat population - one more reason to be scared of China, I suppose. However, the Chinese government released the full story to both the international press and their domestic audience. They held all people involved fully responsibile, and punished them to the fullest extent. All paperwork is now checked and double-checked to verify that each child has truly been abandoned before releasing them for adoption (hooray!).

Reason #4 - The Waiting Child Program. I mentioned above that healthy toddlers are not sitting in orphanages in China. However, children with disabilities may linger for years. Likewise, older children are rarely requested and linger as well. China recently instituted the Waiting Child program, promising a short 2 month wait for these children. Their photos are posted online, and their stories shared so that families can fall in love with a child in need of a home. But more than that, parents can adopt a special needs child knowing fully what situation they will step into. Because the processing of these children receives priority, and because this program is so popular (hooray!), processing of other children's paperwork has slowed.

Why so many girls?

China's books still carry a One Child Policy, which is strictly enforced in most communities.  If a woman carries more than one child, they will be fined a tremendous amount of money or be forced into abortion.  And although this policy strikes at the heart of all supporters of human rights, it is worth noting that this policy has strong environmental benefits.  Modern China currently exhausts the world's resources, and growth continues.  With a population having 2-4 times as many children, imagine the drain on the world's resources.  Clearly the human rights issue here is appalling, as enforcement of this policy leads China to forces abortions and sterilization on thousands, and brings many parents to infanticide.  I do not envy the position of Chinese policy makers on many issues, and this is certainly one of them. Simple reversal of this policy creates many more problems.

With the knowledge that each family is allowed only one child, adoption from China becomes a beautiful love story from two parents to their baby.  Consider the plight of a poor family in rural china.  Possibly illiterate, no one in this family has job skills beyond growing vegetables on their small plot.  Their life is subsistence and not much more.  Under these circumstances, the woman gets pregnant.  She knows that government representatives keep their eyes peeled  for pregnant people.  People working in family planning in China are charged with enforcing a few different policies - both the One Child Policy, and the policy making it illegal to abandon an infant.  

Knowing she is watched, and unable to trust her neighbors to keep her secret, she hides the pregnancy.  Should she choose to abort the child, she has no problem - abortion is both legal and free in China.  Learning the sex of the child is impossible - ultrasounds are illegal.  So she carries the baby to term, hiding her pregnancy the entire time.  She doesn't eat - to avoid gaining weight.  She corsets herself - to appear the same body shape.  She keeps working.  These steps do not build a healthy pre-natal environment, although none are abusive.  These babies are loved. 

The baby will be delivered by a trusted local mid-wife - a woman able to keep a secret, and who brings the means to kill the baby immediately.  Upon delivery, the mother and father must immediately decide the fate of this child.  If they choose life, they must also decide whether or not that child stays in their family.  This couple may struggle to feed themselves, possibly also their parents and disabled siblings.  If their only child is handicapped, they'll have another mouth to feed and no promise of help in the future - there won't be anymore children in this family.  The parents may not both be able to work.  Sadly, this is an unsustainable life. 

If their only child is a girl, she will by tradition leave the family home when she marries and care for her husband's parents.  This couple has no social security, and will need someone to care for them when they get older. They only get one shot at creating that person.  They make a choice out of necessity - none of their options are good. 

Out of love, this couple chooses life for the child.  But out of a felt necessity, they also choose to abandon the child.  And this at great risk to themselves - remember that infant abandonment is entirely illegal in china.  At particularly great risk to themselves, they will abandon the baby where she will be found immediately. These are babies found only a day or two from having been born - a crying newborn would alert all neighbors and family planning staff to a its existence in the house, and must disappear as quickly as possible.   Most children are left on the steps of a neighboring village's police station.  Others are found at orphanages, hospitals, major intersections.  At great risk to themselves, the parents will drop the baby somewhere they will soon be safe.

It is a myth that Chinese people do not want girls.  Its not that girls are not loved.  Quite the opposite - these girls are loved tremendously and sacrificially.   Its simply that many families need a child able to contribute their whole lives.

We feel this is an important story to share with Mei Mei, that its not a story of abandonment but one of love.

CCAA

China Center of Adoption Affairs runs international adoptions for the entire country. Our social worker has worked with these people directly for over a decade, both facilitating hundreds of successful adoptions and also helping them to improve their system. She is fully convinced that these are good people, with good hearts, doing their very best to place children in good homes. Its a small department - arguably understaffed, which can lead to long waits. The advantage is the distinct lack of bureaucracy.  These people know each other, and they know the orphanages and the children waiting to be placed. This is no bureaucracy with hundreds of paper pushers. Some local offices have under 10 people working there. Our social worker feels strongly that CCAA are great people, caring about each child they work for, interested in each family they unite with a child, and dedicated to the well-being of all involved. She sees a good reason for every task we've been asked to undertake.

The Pick Up

We have entered the waiting stage, and that wait will end when we pick Mei Mei up from her home province.  But it should come as no surprise that this step will be a process as well.

Step #1 - the match:  CCAA will send paperwork to us with Mei Mei's picture, her brief background, and simple medical information.  Most families share this medical information with their pediatrician to check for red flags on their child's health.  Some families will use reject their match.  

Step #2 - the travel documents:  These will arrive a few weeks after we accept our match. We can travel anytime after that.  We have flexibility with when we choose to travel, but most people choose to travel as soon as it can be arranged.

Step #3 - the flight:  We will travel to the province where the orphanage is.  If still living in China, this will be a simple flight across the country.  At this point, it is unclear whether or not we will be in China in 2 years.  It is possible that this will be an international flight adding the complex stressor of jet lag to an already stressful time.  We will travel to the capital of the province.   If Mei Mei lives in the capital, we will go directly to her orphanage. Capital Orphanages are often showcases, with kids in matching outfits and new Duplos on the shelf. If Mei Mei lives in a rural area, the orphanage director and an ayi will drive her to town. She will be delivered immediately. We will probably not have the option to visit a rural orphanage, although our social worker assures us that these orphanages may not look pretty but are quite decent places matching the standard of life surrounding them. The standard of life around them does not match American standards - electricity, cleanliness, etc. And if the orphanage did meet American standards, a whole lot more children would show up on its doorstep.  Chinese orphanages are not at all abusive - well, except that they are an institution rather than a parent.

Step #4 - Gotcha Day: Director and ayi will hand us Mei Mei very soon after our arrival into town - probably rather within hours.  Once we meet her,  she stays in our family. Our two main jobs are 1: bonding with her, calming her, making her comfortable and 2: finishing provincial paperwork, which should take only a few days.

Step #5 - the American Consulate: Once we've completed all of the local paperwork, we move on to Guangzhou and the U.S. Consulate.  This consulate processes all visa application for adoptions.   We will be in Guangzhou for another few days, possibly staying at The White Swan down the street from the U.S. Consulate.  Known as the baby hotel, this hotel is well prepared for families with new babies and has plenty of baby beds, high chairs and even a playroom sponsored by Fisher-Price!  The entire area has stroller friendly curbs and shops with diapers - sounds like heaven in China!

Step #6 - American soil: Then we return home.  This part is simple for most Americans, as Mei Mei becomes an American once she sets foot (or stroller wheel) on American soil.  The challenge will be if we live outside of America at the time.  Returning to Shanghai and later to America would be no problem - a simply delay in the date she becomes a U.S. citizen.  Returning to another country first would be a challenge, as Mei Mei would need a visa in her Chinese passport to enter that country.  One more process to complete over those few days and weeks.

Step #7 - the last paperwork:  If we still live abroad, then our time in America we will be a flurry of paperwork to gather in just a few weeks. A new birth certificate, a passport, a social security number, plus any legal choices we may make about re-adopting. And of course, introducing Mei Mei to her extended family.

The Adoptee

Frequent writing about adopting multi-cultural children talks about the importance of including their culture into their life. We are in a uniquely positive situation to do that, having first hand knowledge of life in China. We intend to remain friends with Chinese acquaintances, to continue cooking the Chinese foods we like, and to retain the Chinese words we use in our family vocabulary. But our social worker advised against groups focused on children adopted from China, and we agreed with her. We plan for adoption to be an every day word, and for Asian women to be important roll-models in our home. But we don't intend to go so far as identifying our daughter as a Chinese adoptee rather than simply 1 of our 3 daughters. While these groups seem to be important support groups for the adopting parents, we do not feel they are best for our child.

DTC

We received congratulations yesterday from our adoption agency.  As of February 19th, we are DTC - or Dossier To China.

This means that all of the paperwork we painstakingly gathered over the last 9 months have been gathered together into a dossier and mailed to China.  These were mailed by our agency and in a batch.  Presumably, we will pick up Mei Mei with this same batch of people.

Now we wait for our Log In Date (LID).  That is the date that CCAA enters our information into a computer and we officially join the line of expectant parents.  That should happen in the next few weeks, although it may happen notably before we hear about it.

As an expedited family, the current expectation is that we will receive our referral 19-20 months after our log-in date.  If all goes at current rates, we will follow the following schedule:

March 2009 - Log In Date

December 2010 - Receive Referral

This is when CCAA mails information on a specific child to us, giving us the option of accepting or refusing that child as our own.  Once we accept our referral, we begin a busy 6 weeks or so of preparing to travel.

February 2011 - Pick up Mei Mei

In adoption circles, this reaches its pinnacle on Gotcha Day.

The interesting question is where we will be living once it is time to travel, and how difficult it will be to make those travel arrangements at that time.

Uncertainties aside, DTC still feels a bit like a positive pregnancy test.  Wow - this will really happen!

Adoption Moves Forward

We're one step closer to Mei Mei's arrival into our family, and this one feels like a big step to me.  We have received permission from the U.S. government to adopt a child from China.  This is a major milestone - all documentation must have been gathered and correctly submitted to USCIS (the US immigration service) to receive this permission, and this is the last piece to gather before we may submit to CCAA (the Chinese adoption agency).

Unfortunately, my understanding may have been a bit off.  I thought that once the U.S. approved us for adoption, our dossier would move directly to the Chinese government.  It appears there are more steps before submitting to CCAA.  Our entire dossier must be translated into Mandarin.  Once everything has been translated, notarized, authenticated and certified by our adoption agency then we are DTC - and no, I don't know what that stands for.  At that point, they submit to the Chinese government and we become "logged in."  Essentially, we begin another long wait.

The time it took the US to process our application was half what we expected - how wonderful if we should be so lucky anywhere else in this process!

Ridiculous

I'm not sure if I should be angry with our adoption agency for losing our fingerprints, or if I should be pleased with them for helping us to fix the problem. Either way, this week has been a bit more interesting than it should have been. Here's the rundown:

- After express mailing our entire package to our adoption agency a few weeks ago, I brushed my hands of the submittal process and relaxed in the thought that I had no more power over my adoption application.

- A few days later, I learned that the agency had lost our fingerprints. These fingerprints had been taken in Shanghai, carried back by hand, and definitely included in my submittal. Arggh!

- On that same day, I learned that Dave and I forgot to sign our application form. Arggh!

- By a bad stroke of luck, we learned this information on December 31st - the first in a string of national holidays, affecting both FedEx (who expressed the form back to us for Dave to sign) and the Shanghai Consulate (who emailed the receipt for our fingerprints, so we could be re-printed in the states). This was Wednesday.

- On Friday, we knew that we would not receive any of our documentation before Dave left America. We ran down to the USCIS office in St. Louis, naively hoping to be re-printed at extra cost and have the whole affair taken care of.
Apparently, the fingerprinting process for people living in America differs dramatically from the process for Americans abroad. At first, we could not be fingerprinted without a letter of invitation. After lots of conversations, we could not be fingerprinted without proof of payment in Shanghai. This would not arrive from the Shanghai Consulate until the following week. After lots more conversations, and plenty of patient and helpful people, they took both of our fingerprints on ink cards and agreed to hold them until I could prove payment. Phew!

- On Sunday, Dave left the country.

- On Monday, we received the form from FedEx and the receipt for our fingerprints.

- This morning, with my receipts in hand, I went back to the local USCIS office and picked up our fingerprints. We won't publically discuss how Dave signed his forms, but they now sit snug and warm alongside those fingerprints, inside an envelope destined for USCIS in Chicago.

Which I entirely forgot to mail on the way home. I can't imagine a reason why the whole thing won't be in the mail tomorrow and out of my hands entirely... but then, I couldn't have imagined the trouble detailed above!

Adoption Road Block

Although we mailed our documentation and our fingerprints to our adoption agency last week,
it seems that our adoption agency only received our documentation.

No fingerprints.

This is a real problem, for many reasons.
1: We paid nearly $100 for the fingerprints, plus taking advantage of friends for child care and burning about 3 hours of vacation time.
2: Dave returns to Shanghai on Sunday, leaving us only a very few days to get them ready to mail within the month.
3: Our agency will not acknowledge their loss of our fingerprints, meaning that any extra cost will be ours.

It seems that this may end up putting off our application to USCIS by as much as 4 weeks.

Needless to say, Dave and I are a bit grumpy this morning.

Adoption Update

I overnighted a serious package yesterday.

Sent from the states, overnighting by USPS was a simple option compared to mailing quickly from China. We sent a serious package into our adoption agency:

• Fingerprints, with a very intimidating seal from the U.S. Consulate in Shanghai
• 4 copies of our Homestudy, each requiring certain signatures and stamps
• I-800A, our application to the U.S. government to allow Mei Mei to enter our family as an American
• A check for over $8,000 - that one really hurt

For such a small package, sending it felt pretty big.

And now, we wait.

We wait for the USCIS (United States Citizenship and Immigration Services) to approve our application. We've been told that we'll have a 60 day wait from them, although friends told us they've been waiting for closer to 90 days.

Once we receive approval from USCIS, we submit our dossier to CCAA (China Center of Adoption Affairs). We're being told to expect 12 to 18 months for word from CCAA, although friends tell us they've been waiting for closer to 2 years with the wait time climbing every month. Word is that the wait time should stabilize soon, but may have climbed to an average of 18 to 24 months for expatriate families living in China.

Following this schedule, Mei Mei should arrive in our home by summer of 2012. Two and a half years from now seems a long time away - we'll have a 4 and 5 year old, and who knows where we'll be living. Oh, the changes life can bring!

Discussing Mei Mei

I picked up L-- on my own this afternoon. I spent the morning running errands sans children, and although I usually bring S-- to L--'s school in the afternoon, today I was alone. L-- and I enjoyed the chance to chat in the backseat of the van on the 20 minute ride home.

We discussed children, and who has children, and how many they have. She explained that her teachers all have children. Even Miss Yuko, her Chinese teacher. Really? I asked. I didn't know Miss Yuko had children. How many children does she have?

Daughter: She has one, two, three, four, five, six, seven children.

Mommy: Wow! Seven children is a lot! You know, Miss Yuko is Chinese and so she can only have 1 child. Chinese families are only allowed to have one kid in the family.

Daughter: You and Daddy have 2 kids in the famiy.

Mommy (sensing the right moment): That's right. Would it be fun to have more than 2 kids in our family?

Daughter: Um, sure. Yeah.

Mommy: Maybe when you're 4 years old we'll get another kid in our family. Maybe we'll call her Mei Mei and she can be your little sister.

Daughter: S-- and me could be her big sisters!

Mommy: Yeah! Would you like that?

Daughter: Yeah! But I want her to speak English, and not Chinese, okay?

We went on to discuss that Mei Mei will come to our family as a baby, and that we can teach her what language to speak. We will teach her English, but L-- could help teach her Chinese, too. L-- broke into one of the Mandarin songs she sings at school, which our driver got a real kick out of. The poor man must be bored stiff, listening to us speak English all day long - we deprive him of the ability to eavesdrop on our conversations. So whenever he hears Mandarin, he's pleased. And particularly pleased when he hears children's songs from the backseat!

I'm struck by her aversion to Mandarin - although I believe she understands more than she lets on, L-- is still quite uncomfortable being around people speaking Chinese. Neither L-- nor S-- has picked up more than a few words of the language. So much for soaking it up like a sponge! But at least she's keen to have Mei Mei join our family!

Pregnancy in China

As we prepared to move to China, I remember having a conversation with someone about living conditions. We had no real knowledge about China, and I remember voicing that I thought that China had abolished its One Child Policy.

I quickly learned that the One Child Policy is not only still on the books, but quite firmly enforced. My facts come from the rumor mill, which is often the best source of information in China. Here's my understanding:

• An urban family may have one child.
• An ultrasound may not tell the family the sex of the child, to discourage gender selection.
• A rural family may have two children, but not within 3 years of each other.
• If a woman becomes pregnant again, the family must pay a fine.
• Reports vary on the cost of the fine, from 1 year or your household income, to 3 years salary, or just 60,000 RMB (about 10,000 USD).
• For those who can not afford the fines, a woman can be forced to have an abortion. This even if she is due the next day.
• Anyone can report a pregnant family. A snitch earns 100RMB (about 14USD) for each credible report.
• If a family pays the fine, they have no more trouble. Wealthy families in China do choose to bear two children.
• If a family manages to carry a child to term without paying the fine, they are faced with a few options. Two of these options I have discussed before: either killing to child, or giving her up for adoption. The last option is to raise the child hukou. This child will have no identity. He or she will be ineligible for a passport, medical assistance or public schools. When they grow up, they will be unable to find legal work or housing. This same consequence occurs when a family moves illegaly to another province - our driver's family lives in his home village because it is the only place his daughter can receive schooling and medical care.
• Mixed couples are not removed from this law. A Chinese person married to a foreigner may legally have a second child, but a third child can not be born inside China.

The conversation arose because a pregnant German woman married to a Chinese man visited a local hospital for her first child. She did not mention her pregnancy, or discuss it with anyone. But the next day, someone knocked on her door asking that her family consider re-registering because of their recent growth.

Every person in China is required to register with their local housing authority. We have registered. If you stay at our home, we will register you. When we stay at a hotel, they register us. When a baby is born, it is registered with the housing authority. This woman became concerned that they may try to enforce China's One Child Policy on her.

She and her baby are quite safe, but many women and their babies are not. The policy is difficult, because although it is clearly inhumane, it also addresses the very serious problem of overpopulation in China.

I would not run for office in China. This country faces tremendous growth and potential, but also tremendous problems.

Looked Like We Made It

We thought we were ready.

We had gathered all of our paperwork. We had gone to all of the appropriate offices in Shanghai, and asked all of the appropriate people for help with translation and to please do these unexpected favors for us. We had gone to the American consulate at odd hours for rather expensive notarization. We had taken pictures and asked people to write letters. We had gone back and gathered extra paperwork, once we learned that we had to work with an agency rather than simply through our social worker (as per Hague requirements).

We sat down this evening to put all of our adoption paperwork together.

We thought we could submit to the agency tomorrow, and essentially be done with it for months.

We sat with the checklist in front of us. We really only used the checklist to make the whole thing feel dramatic; to mark a large X on each line with great flourish.

And then we reached this line:

"Birth Certificate (Husband) w/parents' names listed (extended version) - ORIGINAL"

...and Dave says, wait.

It seems that the state of Illinois isn't too concerned with who Dave's parents are, or what they are named. They are not listed anywhere on his birth certificate.

Apparently, we have NOT made it. It seems that we must request another birth certificate from the state of Illinois, immediately turn that document back to the state to have them verify it, and then send it on to the Chinese Consulate in Chicago for authentication. If it goes as smoothly as it did this summer, this process will only take about 8 weeks.

Eight weeks!