We have returned to Shenzhen, accompanied by Dave. The girls slept around 2 hours on the flight Thursday night, made an amazing effort toward wakefulness yesterday, and then slept a whopping 15 hours last night to return to some semblance of local time. Dave, Annika and I nearly matched them with an unbroken 11.5 hours of sleep. Well done, Annika!
We faced paltry internet connectivity last week, as well as precious little time to myself. To make up for the lack of postings, I'll share a photoessay of the week with you soon, as well as an update on Dave and Uncle H--.
Stay tuned!
Friday, November 12, 2010
Tuesday, November 02, 2010
Abu Dhabi or Bust!
The things I do for my husband and my children. The girls and I will board an airplane taking off at 4:45 on Thursday afternoon. We will sit on that airplane for 9 hours, until it eventually lands at the Dubai Airport in the middle of the night. A crew of sleepy little girls will exit the airplane, and I will maneuver them through immigration and customs alone, meeting Dave and a taxi on the outside. From that point, we'll have about an hour ride before we reach Abu Dhabi. And if we're lucky, we'll all sleep a bit late on Saturday morning.
We'll stay until Thursday night, when the girls and I will again travel overnight and alone. This time we'll eventually arrive at home, which always helps. But we will also arrive in Hong Kong at 6:00 in the morning, making for probably a very long day.
Still, I'm feeling strangely calm about the whole thing. Possibly peace? We have a bassinet confirmed for both legs of the trip, so Annika needs neither her own seat or my available arms at all times. She will fall asleep at almost exactly 6:45pm and likely bother no one again until morning. Lilly has become a pro at flying, and with the books I'll load onto the iPad, I doubt I'll hear a peep from her the entire time. That leaves Sophia and I to keep each other company, and I've certainly kept worse company in the past. We'll enjoy your prayers, as I have certainly named the best case scenario. But I feel we're traveling at this sweet spot, while Lilly and Sophia have gotten good at flying and before Annika gets bad at it.
Wish us luck! (And seriously - how cool that we're going to Abu Dhabi?!)
We'll stay until Thursday night, when the girls and I will again travel overnight and alone. This time we'll eventually arrive at home, which always helps. But we will also arrive in Hong Kong at 6:00 in the morning, making for probably a very long day.
Still, I'm feeling strangely calm about the whole thing. Possibly peace? We have a bassinet confirmed for both legs of the trip, so Annika needs neither her own seat or my available arms at all times. She will fall asleep at almost exactly 6:45pm and likely bother no one again until morning. Lilly has become a pro at flying, and with the books I'll load onto the iPad, I doubt I'll hear a peep from her the entire time. That leaves Sophia and I to keep each other company, and I've certainly kept worse company in the past. We'll enjoy your prayers, as I have certainly named the best case scenario. But I feel we're traveling at this sweet spot, while Lilly and Sophia have gotten good at flying and before Annika gets bad at it.
Wish us luck! (And seriously - how cool that we're going to Abu Dhabi?!)
Friday, October 29, 2010
Foreign After Three Years
We've lived in China for over 3 years now. China is a very different place from America in many ways, and we still stand out like sore thumbs. Chinese people do not have blonde hair or blue eyes. Chinese people do not hug. Chinese people do not eat cheese, or Mexican food. We do loads of things every day which mark us as foreign, something we have gotten entirely used to.
It is only with this move that I have realized how much China has normalized for me. When moving into a new expat community, the best way to make new friends quickly is to get to know the other newbies. But I don't quite fit into the newbie category - although I'm new to Shenzhen, I'm an old hand to China, and not looking around with glassy-eyes like the other newbies. Conversations with a particular friend make this very apparent to me. The things she raves about, as wonderful or as particularly odd, I have trouble sharing her enthusiasm on. She raves about her ayi - I watch her ayi, and think she is mediocre at best. She feels guilty having the driver take her daughter to school - I look on with envy, remembering the simple life with a driver. She hears people honking on the street, and feels they're honking at her. She pays way more than things are worth, because she doesn't know where or how to dig around town.
She's new, and I sounded the same way when I was new. She'll normalize too, and that list will embarrass her someday.
But even after so long, things happen in my home that throw me. Ayi cleaned the bookshelves a few days ago, and they look fantastic. She organized every book by size. But upon closer inspection, you see that a third of the spines face either up or down, and some of them face the back of the shelves.
T.I.C. Some things will always be foreign.
It is only with this move that I have realized how much China has normalized for me. When moving into a new expat community, the best way to make new friends quickly is to get to know the other newbies. But I don't quite fit into the newbie category - although I'm new to Shenzhen, I'm an old hand to China, and not looking around with glassy-eyes like the other newbies. Conversations with a particular friend make this very apparent to me. The things she raves about, as wonderful or as particularly odd, I have trouble sharing her enthusiasm on. She raves about her ayi - I watch her ayi, and think she is mediocre at best. She feels guilty having the driver take her daughter to school - I look on with envy, remembering the simple life with a driver. She hears people honking on the street, and feels they're honking at her. She pays way more than things are worth, because she doesn't know where or how to dig around town.
She's new, and I sounded the same way when I was new. She'll normalize too, and that list will embarrass her someday.
But even after so long, things happen in my home that throw me. Ayi cleaned the bookshelves a few days ago, and they look fantastic. She organized every book by size. But upon closer inspection, you see that a third of the spines face either up or down, and some of them face the back of the shelves.
T.I.C. Some things will always be foreign.
Thursday, October 28, 2010
All in a Day's Work
Dave left for Abu Dhabi this evening. Actually, he'll sit in the Hong Kong airport until midnight and technically leave for Abu Dhabi tomorrow. We expect that he will be gone for 3 weeks, and it was crummy to say good-bye. He'll be missing the school Halloween party tomorrow, and Halloween itself on Sunday night. He'll miss at least 2 movie nights. He'll miss a large portion of Annika's life thus far. He'll miss too many bathtimes and storytimes and afternoons at the playground. Three weeks is a long time to be away from family, and it made us all sad.
So sad that I am honestly contemplating the girls to Abu Dhabi for their fall break next week. Am I crazy enough to fly alone with 3 young girls? Its an 8 hour flight, with a ferry exchange on this side and an hour-long taxi ride on that side. Plus, its overnight. Any votes?
On the bright side, I made pita bread tonight for dinner. Who knew it was so simple? I also made hummus, which didn't turn out quite right because I couldn't find Middle Eastern tahini - which is, we learned, rather different from Asian tahini. But, after a google search, I learned how to make my own. Who knew tahini was so simple to make? What a feast we'll have, as soon as I can find sesame seeds.
Check out these babies!
It may not be high quality photography (okay, its definitely not). But I was just so excited that I had to share.
In Shanghai, I learned how to cook and bake because I missed the foods from home. I've gotten pretty good at brownies, pies, sweet breads, plus soups, curries and a really mean loaf of honey wheat bread. Now that we're in Shenzhen, I'm missing all of the world-class restaurants in Shanghai. I'm needing to learn more interesting foods - starting with hummus, tzatziki, pita bread and tahini. Lets say its in honor of Dave's first trip to the Middle East.
So sad that I am honestly contemplating the girls to Abu Dhabi for their fall break next week. Am I crazy enough to fly alone with 3 young girls? Its an 8 hour flight, with a ferry exchange on this side and an hour-long taxi ride on that side. Plus, its overnight. Any votes?
On the bright side, I made pita bread tonight for dinner. Who knew it was so simple? I also made hummus, which didn't turn out quite right because I couldn't find Middle Eastern tahini - which is, we learned, rather different from Asian tahini. But, after a google search, I learned how to make my own. Who knew tahini was so simple to make? What a feast we'll have, as soon as I can find sesame seeds.
Check out these babies!
It may not be high quality photography (okay, its definitely not). But I was just so excited that I had to share.
In Shanghai, I learned how to cook and bake because I missed the foods from home. I've gotten pretty good at brownies, pies, sweet breads, plus soups, curries and a really mean loaf of honey wheat bread. Now that we're in Shenzhen, I'm missing all of the world-class restaurants in Shanghai. I'm needing to learn more interesting foods - starting with hummus, tzatziki, pita bread and tahini. Lets say its in honor of Dave's first trip to the Middle East.
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Knowing Is Half the Battle
We now know that Dave will fly to Abu Dhabi on Thursday. He's buying a return ticket for 2 weeks later, but we don't really know that won't be changed. We do know that he'll miss Halloween, which is a real bummer. A week-long Fall Break will take place about the same time as his projected return. I looked into just going to Abu Dhabi for the break. What fun would that be! But over 14 hours travel time, and around $1,000 per adult ticket makes that prohibitive. I don't think I could handle three girls on my own in an airplane, layovers and plane transfers included, for such a long time.
Although there is no bright side, we will be just fine. We've got a great ayi. I've already developed a good support system (God is Faithful!). The girls have their routine pretty well figured out. Annie has been waking up 2-3 times a night lately, which'll be rough on my own. But otherwise, we shall survive.
Although there is no bright side, we will be just fine. We've got a great ayi. I've already developed a good support system (God is Faithful!). The girls have their routine pretty well figured out. Annie has been waking up 2-3 times a night lately, which'll be rough on my own. But otherwise, we shall survive.
Sunday, October 24, 2010
The Way We Live
Its funny the things we can get used to.
We've been living under the cloud of a pending move to Washington DC for about a year now. For most of that time, had we received an email invitation to the Foreign Service, we would have been living in Washington within 8 weeks. We prepared the girls for such a move, and got them excited about DC.
That call still hasn't come, still hangs over our heads, but we don't talk about it to the girls as much. They no longer remember most of the friends we have there.
Possibly because of this mindset, we picked up and moved to Shenzhen within 2 weeks this summer. We've settled quite well, even with the cloud of an uncertain future hanging over our heads. When people ask how long we expect to be here, I don't really know what to answer. If Dave gets into the Foreign Service, we could move as early as mid-March. If he doesn't, we could be here for another year after this one. The 1-year contract everyone signed for us has not yet taken effect, and the girls have landed well in Shenzhen. Could be that we're facing stability, and the same address for 2 years in a row!
But the uncertainty still prevails. Dave will start work on this new contract any day now. He got an email last week asking him to go to the U.A.E. for 6 weeks or so, starting today. Only on Saturday did he learn the city (Abu Dhabi - how cool is that?). And still today, he's been given no travel plans. Our best guess at this point is that Dave will fly to Abu Dhabi tomorrow, for somewhere between 1 and 6 weeks. But we won't know for sure until tomorrow, when he either does or does not catch a plane.
This new uncertainty makes the old stuff seem simple. As does having lived with it for a while now. But I can't make plans for this weekend if Dave may be away. I can't make plans for tomorrow's dinner if Dave may be here. I can't make plans for Thanksgiving, because I don't know how long he'll be gone. Dave has pushed back, saying 6 weeks is far too long to spend away from his family. I expressed that this uncertainty, and this long trip are not very good employee treatment. Dave answered that it certainly is not - that's why they hire a consultant rather than use their own employees. And a globally mobile one at that. Fair enough.
Clearly, I am actually fixing dinner tomorrow, and life is going on as usual around this uncertainty. But I'll admit, its giving me a big headache.
We've been living under the cloud of a pending move to Washington DC for about a year now. For most of that time, had we received an email invitation to the Foreign Service, we would have been living in Washington within 8 weeks. We prepared the girls for such a move, and got them excited about DC.
That call still hasn't come, still hangs over our heads, but we don't talk about it to the girls as much. They no longer remember most of the friends we have there.
Possibly because of this mindset, we picked up and moved to Shenzhen within 2 weeks this summer. We've settled quite well, even with the cloud of an uncertain future hanging over our heads. When people ask how long we expect to be here, I don't really know what to answer. If Dave gets into the Foreign Service, we could move as early as mid-March. If he doesn't, we could be here for another year after this one. The 1-year contract everyone signed for us has not yet taken effect, and the girls have landed well in Shenzhen. Could be that we're facing stability, and the same address for 2 years in a row!
But the uncertainty still prevails. Dave will start work on this new contract any day now. He got an email last week asking him to go to the U.A.E. for 6 weeks or so, starting today. Only on Saturday did he learn the city (Abu Dhabi - how cool is that?). And still today, he's been given no travel plans. Our best guess at this point is that Dave will fly to Abu Dhabi tomorrow, for somewhere between 1 and 6 weeks. But we won't know for sure until tomorrow, when he either does or does not catch a plane.
This new uncertainty makes the old stuff seem simple. As does having lived with it for a while now. But I can't make plans for this weekend if Dave may be away. I can't make plans for tomorrow's dinner if Dave may be here. I can't make plans for Thanksgiving, because I don't know how long he'll be gone. Dave has pushed back, saying 6 weeks is far too long to spend away from his family. I expressed that this uncertainty, and this long trip are not very good employee treatment. Dave answered that it certainly is not - that's why they hire a consultant rather than use their own employees. And a globally mobile one at that. Fair enough.
Clearly, I am actually fixing dinner tomorrow, and life is going on as usual around this uncertainty. But I'll admit, its giving me a big headache.
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Moving Tips
As I seem to be moving with rather startling frequency, I thought it would be useful to put together some of the things which have made it easier. Moving companies all put together handy little lists telling you when to unplug your refrigerator and reminding you to eat breakfast, and so I'll spare you all of the simple stuff. These are the things I've learned by trial and error. And the errors come easily when 10 people arrive to pack up your house, and none of them speak English!
Tip #1:
The person who took the furniture apart will not be the person who puts it back together - unless that person is you.
I suppose a domestic move in the states may involve the same individuals packing and unpacking your boxes. An international move does not. The Shanghai crew did not travel with our boxes to Shenzhen, although they did take apart some of the furniture. If your furniture breaks down, do it yourself. Then place all small pieces in a Ziploc bag or an envelope, and tape it to the bottom of the furniture.
Tip #2:
Know where your tools are - including scissors, a Sharpie, and a box cutter.
Your toolbox, no matter how big or small, ought to be the last thing boxed up and in a well-marked container. You'll need the screwdrivers quickly upon unpacking. But don't even bother packing your scissors, Sharpies and box cutter. You'll want those while the movers pack the house, and again when you're unpacking alone.
Tip #3:
Label your boxes well by destination room. The packers will not.
To look at the labels on our boxes, you would think that we had an amazing amount of vases and stationary. You'd also think that we had one baby and no other children, as anything child related was labeled Baby Room. If you don't need an inventory of each box, at least peek in each one to confirm the destination room.
Tip #4:
Don't diet. Do exercise.
Now, don't act like a fool and gorge yourself on McDonald's and ice-cream. But remember that moving boxes, exploring a new neighborhood, and stress all burn loads of calories. And when moving internationally, the lack of ingredients at the grocery store as well as the crummy restaurant you happened upon will keep those meals low-cal for the first few weeks. Add in the diet and exercise routines as soon as possible (exercise will come much earlier than diet), but the regiment will be initially impossible and only add more stress.
Tip #5:
Smile at everyone who makes eye contact with you. Introduce yourself to everyone who smiles at you.
Soon you'll find that you know the names of everyone in your everyday routine, and that they all think you're friendly. Even if you don't have friends for quite some time, you'll have conversations with people every day. These conversations turn into friends quicker than you'd think.
Tip #6:
Use the phone.
Communicate with folks by phone whenever possible. Stay away from email and texting while you're getting to know people, if you can help it. Those spoken conversations give others the chance to ask how you're doing, or to invite you along to their morning plans.
Tip #7:
Do as many favors as you can, and take advantage of help when its offered.
Being a helper is a wonderful way to get to know someone. And you need help when you're moving. So does anyone else around you in the throes of the same. Take advantage of help and offer it as well. You'll build a community around yourself quickly, and set a lovely precedent for help later on... when you find your husband traveling for weeks at a time, or you need a doctor and someone to watch your kids immediately.
Tip #8:
If the economy allows it, hire help immediately.
In China, and in many other countries through the help, hired help is readily available and quite affordable. A housekeeper and nanny make a considerable difference when you've got a To Do List a mile long. A local housekeeper can be a lifesaver, as she already knows the good shopping and can communicate with any Fix-It-Men who'll try to help. But refer to Tip #7 for the actual hiring - a referral is always the best way to go.
It may not be neuroscience, but these little rules helped me through the last few months. At this point, I feel pretty comfortable here. Friends in Shanghai still feel closer, although pretty far away. But friends here do feel like honest friends, and I do feel that if I had an emergency I would have plenty of shoulders to lean on. Good, as my husband does seem to travel about 80% of the time right now.
Tip #1:
The person who took the furniture apart will not be the person who puts it back together - unless that person is you.
I suppose a domestic move in the states may involve the same individuals packing and unpacking your boxes. An international move does not. The Shanghai crew did not travel with our boxes to Shenzhen, although they did take apart some of the furniture. If your furniture breaks down, do it yourself. Then place all small pieces in a Ziploc bag or an envelope, and tape it to the bottom of the furniture.
Tip #2:
Know where your tools are - including scissors, a Sharpie, and a box cutter.
Your toolbox, no matter how big or small, ought to be the last thing boxed up and in a well-marked container. You'll need the screwdrivers quickly upon unpacking. But don't even bother packing your scissors, Sharpies and box cutter. You'll want those while the movers pack the house, and again when you're unpacking alone.
Tip #3:
Label your boxes well by destination room. The packers will not.
To look at the labels on our boxes, you would think that we had an amazing amount of vases and stationary. You'd also think that we had one baby and no other children, as anything child related was labeled Baby Room. If you don't need an inventory of each box, at least peek in each one to confirm the destination room.
Tip #4:
Don't diet. Do exercise.
Now, don't act like a fool and gorge yourself on McDonald's and ice-cream. But remember that moving boxes, exploring a new neighborhood, and stress all burn loads of calories. And when moving internationally, the lack of ingredients at the grocery store as well as the crummy restaurant you happened upon will keep those meals low-cal for the first few weeks. Add in the diet and exercise routines as soon as possible (exercise will come much earlier than diet), but the regiment will be initially impossible and only add more stress.
Tip #5:
Smile at everyone who makes eye contact with you. Introduce yourself to everyone who smiles at you.
Soon you'll find that you know the names of everyone in your everyday routine, and that they all think you're friendly. Even if you don't have friends for quite some time, you'll have conversations with people every day. These conversations turn into friends quicker than you'd think.
Tip #6:
Use the phone.
Communicate with folks by phone whenever possible. Stay away from email and texting while you're getting to know people, if you can help it. Those spoken conversations give others the chance to ask how you're doing, or to invite you along to their morning plans.
Tip #7:
Do as many favors as you can, and take advantage of help when its offered.
Being a helper is a wonderful way to get to know someone. And you need help when you're moving. So does anyone else around you in the throes of the same. Take advantage of help and offer it as well. You'll build a community around yourself quickly, and set a lovely precedent for help later on... when you find your husband traveling for weeks at a time, or you need a doctor and someone to watch your kids immediately.
Tip #8:
If the economy allows it, hire help immediately.
In China, and in many other countries through the help, hired help is readily available and quite affordable. A housekeeper and nanny make a considerable difference when you've got a To Do List a mile long. A local housekeeper can be a lifesaver, as she already knows the good shopping and can communicate with any Fix-It-Men who'll try to help. But refer to Tip #7 for the actual hiring - a referral is always the best way to go.
It may not be neuroscience, but these little rules helped me through the last few months. At this point, I feel pretty comfortable here. Friends in Shanghai still feel closer, although pretty far away. But friends here do feel like honest friends, and I do feel that if I had an emergency I would have plenty of shoulders to lean on. Good, as my husband does seem to travel about 80% of the time right now.
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