Decision Made

So I think we have decided to move to China. I say "I think" cause it's not 'official' yet but it's really just a formality of informing people - with the catch that we could still change our minds (yet again!) before that happens. But I think we've decided.

Last night I had a conversation with a company guy in Tokyo who would be a mentor/manager (he's British). He said all the right things in terms of it being a job I could make into what I want it to be (including doing what I need to do to balance family and work) and that they would understand the need to make sure my family was comfortable and would work with us to make that happen.

So then Lynne and I talked for an hour or two and pretty much decided that we were choosing between:

a) A safe, good option in St. Louis that gets me out of the 'corporate' world and likely gives me the opportunity for a good work/life balance.

b) An exciting but scary option which I would probably need to work too much at and after which we would be stuck back where we are now - in a job I don't love that asks too much of me.

So it seemed like the obvious answer was St. Louis. But I had a disappointment run through me as we came to that conclusion. I needed to talk about it some more, so I called the 'rents (at about midnight - sorry again!).

Dad said all the right things about making a decision consistent with our values and such. Then mom jumped in and wrecked everything (so this is all your fault, mom!). She said that living internationally was also very consistent with our values, that it's going to be just as hard for me to have the right work/life balance if I'm running my own company, and that after China, I'm not at all stuck back where I am now - the world is our oyster, as they say. She hit the nail on the head (thanks, mom!).

So Lynne and I talked for a few more hours and finally couldn't think anymore so went to sleep as yet undecided. Dad called back this morning (at 7 am - we're even!) to say he wanted to be clear that he agreed that China was a great option and that there's nothing at all wrong with going with your gut feeling on something like this - thanks a bunch for that call, pops. I played hooky this morning, we read Psalm 16, and we went out for crepes and made our decision. The decision was now framed as such:

1) Stay in St. Louis with a solid support system and a job that I may love - and if I do, we are probably in St. Louis for the long haul, in the same job for the rest of my career.

2) Go to China, have an unbelievably hard but also exciting time in which we learn a lot and meet lots of very interesting people. Come back and figure it out from there.

Again, we seemed to have framed it in a way that makes the decision somewhat obvious, as long as we are willling to put up with some unbelievably hard times. It came down to a safe, good option vs. an exciting, scary option. We decided on exciting and scary for a couple reasons:

- the life-long career and life-long St. Louis thing makes that less attractive. Granted, neither of those would have to be the case if I took that job - but it's sort of the 'best case scenario' - and if there's some rather significant downside to the 'best case scenario', then...

- we are the type of people who like exciting and scary. We definitely were that type before we had a dog. We still were that type before we had kids. We thought we still were before Lynne's parents and Becky and Ben moved to town. This made us sit back and question it: are we really still that type? The answer is yes. As much as we love our dog, our kids, and having family close by - we would always regret saying no. And the dog will go somewhere great for her, we think the kids will be better people if they don't grow up only in St. Louis, and we will do whatever it takes to make sure we still have quality family time with all of our extended family (start saving your pennies, folks, cause it's not too cheap to fly to China!).

- Lynne's biggest reason, I think, was that she felt the need to take a step of faith. It doesn't take much faith to stay here in St. Louis in our comfortable life. Not that we want to test God or something, but that it's better for us to not get too comfortable and complacent - it will be good for us to have to really rely on Him for strength and to feel His presence in the way you can only feel it when you have nothing else to turn to.

So we decided on China. And I don't feel much of any pangs of disappointment - I feel giddy as a schoolboy, frankly. Scared, but crazy excited.

Thanks so much for all your prayers. God didn't make this an easy decision for us at all, but that probably means that it's a stronger decision. We didn't default into this - we are choosing this against another very good option. Please continue to pray that we have peace about it, that the details work out well and all the little decisions are made wisely, and most of all for Lynne - this will be much harder for her than for me, and she doesn't do well with lonely - pray that she feels God's presence, both when she is on her own and through people we meet there.

Sorry for how long this turned into, but it was quite therapeutic for me. If you read all the way to the end, give yourself a gold star.

Love you all.
Dave for the family.