Six Degrees: John

We shared a lovely Shanghai weekend with a few expats we've met over the past few days.

Six degrees of Dave and Lynne connected us to John, a friend's cousin. John invited us out for a drink on Friday night. After bedtime, we threw a coin for which of us got the evening out. I won.

I jumped in a taxi on a lovely fall evening, and headed over to Cotton's. It calls itself the best bar in Shanghai. I've been to very few in my time, but this one gets my vote so far. I can't link to the photo, but if you go to the photo gallery and click on the last picure - its titled the garden - you'll get an idea the atmosphere. The rest of the photos surprise me a bit - the garden was so large, I didn't even realize the bar had walls, let alone an indoor space. At 9:00 at night, the garden was dimly lit. My memory sets the lighting at some sort of firelight - candles on the tables and torches on the sides - and a backlit bar. The tables are small with high stools. Just close enough to feel intimate; just far enough to hold your own conversation. The evening was cool - brisk fall weather, comfortable in jeans and a week or two too early for a jacket. The place was full. I noticed later that it was full of expats. John described it as the neighborhood Cheers, and the neighborhood is primarily expatriate.

We enjoyed a lovely conversation, in which I learned that he's at the end of his stay. John has been in Shanghai for 4-1/2 years, and its time to go. He places expats into 3 camps. There's the 2-year camp: the folks who completed their contract and then left town immediately. The 10-year camp - these folks are few and far between; once you've passed the 5-year line you've made a commitment to China, and not many people do. That means you've also got a 4-year camp. These are the folks who enjoyed their stay, but will be leaving when their time comes. John fit the description. He had stories of people he'd met, parties he'd attended, trips he'd taken. And now he's looking forward to a few months in Milwaukee - where there are plenty of trees and there's very little pretention.

We took him up on his offer to show us his favorite parts of Shanghai. Saturday morning, he met us with a taxi downstairs. And John turned into Uncle John for a day - a role that felt foreign to him, although he played it quite well. Everything he showed us was in a hole in the wall. He and Dave had like knowledge on world affairs and like opinions on American habits. We enjoyed his company as well as his tour, and are sad to know that we won't get to develop a friendship with him.

We also pushed the kids way too far, getting them back for naps nearly 2 hours late. It was a long evening. They were troopers, but I'm still paying for it with grumpy children.