Chinese Pedicure

My toes look awful.

I had them painted last while in the states, and all that remains are ugly flecks of red on uneven toenails. As sandal season is now beginning, I thought it an appropriate time to find another pedicure. We put the girls to bed and I headed off. I reached my hopeful destination at 9:15 pm - The Massage Club around the corner from our complex.

The Massage Club was arranged much like a spa on the inside, decorated minimally with fountains, benches and soft silks. I asked if they offered pedicures, and although no one spoke English, they pointed toward their menu.

PEDICURE ... 30 RMB

With an exchange rate at around 7RMB per US Dollar, this meant a pedicure for under $5. I was in. I traded my sandals for their slippers and let the man guide me upstairs. He led me into a dimly lit room with 5 lounge chairs. I chose the chair in the middle, with the remote for the flat screen tv mounted on the wall. The room was otherwise empty, so I flipped on the television and watched CCTV9 - China's only channel broadcasting in English. A perky tour guide with an American accent took me through Tibet and the province to its north, keeping me well entertained for half an hour.

A few minutes into my program, a man entered with a small wooden tub filled with hot water. Really very hot water. So hot that it hurt to move my feet. They soaked for 5 minutes or so, and then he returned with an exacto-style razor and began the process of intricately smoothing my feet. To avoid laughing aloud, I concentrated on the broadcast and didn't watch him touch my feet.

He finished after about half an hour, and asked if I would like a foot massage. With American strip mall style pedicures as my only comparison, I expected a 5 minute foot massage before he applied paint to my nails so I nodded in assent.

Ninety minutes later he finished. This was a serious foot massage, more painful than relaxing. It very rarely tickled. He used hot cloths, mallets and the knuckles of both of his hands with strength.

And never painted my nails.

I walked back downstairs 2 hours later, with relaxed but still ugly toes. The woman at the computer charged me 118 RMB - apparently the pedicure only removed callouses. I then stayed for a 90 minute foot massage. It was lovely, and no doubt an international steal for 2 hours of pampering.

But I've got to admit, I was only in it for some paint on my toes. Nuts.