A Chinese BBQ

I never know what to expect from our Chinese friends.


The stereotype often seems true - my culture is quite different from Chinese culture. This seems to play out pretty clearly in social settings. As a vast generalization, expats generally together, and Chinese generally keep to themselves. Our neighbors our all Chinese, and although they are quite friendly, they make no effort to build a relationship with us.


Dave is one of the only Westerners working in his office. The rest of his team is entirely Chinese. They are a Westernized crew, many having worked or studied in either America or Canada. They all speak wonderful English and relate quite well to us. I enjoy the time we get to spend with them.


Dave invited his team to our home for a BBQ this past weekend. Nearing the end of the rainy season in Shanghai, this was a dangerous prospect. The weather promised to be either thunderstorms with the end of the rainy season, or hot and humid with the beginning of the summer. Mother Nature smiled on us, providing a happy middle. The skies cleared for the day, leaving us with a cool breeze and temperatures that capped out at 82. By evening, when our guests arrived, the weather was perfect.


Hosting a BBQ while living in a high-rise is not the same as back home. In St. Louis, everyone sat on yard furniture in the backyard, while Dave manned the grill and I prepared the food in the kitchen. We were a few steps away from each other, within easy shouting distance. Here, we live on the 12th floor of our building and are not allowed grills on our balcony. We do, of course, break that rule - but we break it with a smokey joe that maxes out at 4 burgers. We rented the complex BBQ grills and tables. On a raised landing above the playground, they have arranged two grills with running water and two long tables. The spot is perfect for catching summer breezes and for watching life go by on the playground and sidewalks below. The fountains and plants keep my girls entertained, and a few steps higher brings them to a small garden with a large birdcage. Certainly not my backyard, but charming nonetheless.


And we still asked people to potluck. The last time we hosted Dave's co-workers, we learned that we had not provided a particularly Chinese meal. We served chili and corn bread - a very American meal, no doubt. But the Chinese serve meals with many dishes, where you nibble off of each until you're full. We expected everyone to pile a heaping spoonful of chili onto their hunk of cornbread, and they just weren't able to. Even though we had not asked, they potlucked it anyway - and were glad they did. So this time, we asked them to. We provided the burgers and sausage, and expected them to bring the rest. We were bowls of fried rice, plates of steamed buns, cases of beer - what we have learned are staples at a Chinese meal. Instead, they show up with some bananas, a small bag of lychees, and a bottle of iced tea.


They did chow on their burgers, so I don't think anyone left hungry.


But I did see a lot of people eating their burgers with chopsticks.