Loving SIS

One of the facts of life living abroad is that our children attend expensive private schools. However, being both expensive and exclusive does not guarantee a strong curriculum or dedicated teachers. We loved The Wonder Center. We were very disappointed in Tiny Tots. Despite mixed reviews, I was looking forward to SCIS in Shanghai, but with our quick transfer to Shenzhen both girls are now at Shekou International School (SIS).

All things considered, I would probably still prefer Lilly do kindergarten in a Montessori or a Reggio Emilia program. And I would certainly prefer that for Sophia. But as neither is available here, I must say that we've landed quite well.

This is currently on my mind because I spent last night at the elementary school's Curriculum Night. The teachers gave short workshops on the school curriculum, namely Everyday Mathematics and Writer's Workshop. During his introduction, one of the teachers explained why he loves teaching at SIS. Partly for all of the standard reasons - good facilities, good administration, good co-workers (all true). But also because the school has invested in fantastic curriculum, which he finds a joy to teach. From the presentations last night, and what I've heard about these curriculum before, I wholeheartedly agree. I don't know if education has changed dramatically since I was a kid (probably), but Lilly certainly benefits from a wonderful style of teaching.

Further, the school communicates well. We have already had two conferences with the teachers, and been invited to informational meetings like last night's. The school has open classrooms, where I can pop in whenever I like. The student-teacher ratio is low, with only 14 children in Lilly's class. And the teachers are accessible - they run classroom websites, updated weekly; they send out classroom newsletters every week, with exactly what students are working on a good questions to ask at home; they share their cell phone numbers and email addresses. And Lilly's teacher has her working at her own level, rather than following the curve of the class. Each of our teachers know their students well, and clearly enjoy their jobs.

May I keep going? The art studio is truly an art studio, with beautiful natural light and tall stools at wide work stations. The kids have swimming at the outdoor pool every week. The library is well stocked with plenty of fantastic books. Lilly is allowed to choose any book she likes to borrow during her library period. And then I am allowed to borrow 10 more books. We've been going every week, to load up on some fantastic material. We rarely read from our own library anymore!

As extra benefits, our commute is fantastic and the other moms are truly lovely. I would like to see music as a more integral part of their young curriculum, but I otherwise have no complaints. Praise God for placing Lilly and Sophia in the perfect place this year.

I'll admit, as much as I want Dave in the Foreign Service, I kind of hope we can finish out the year here.

Another Writer in the Family

Lilly wrote a story this evening. I mean, she conceived of the story, she decided upon the letters, and she wrote it herself.

If we had a scanner, I would show it to you.

Here is what she wrote:

LILLYWORNECLSTOSHONTLPAWFHRSOCMO.

Allow me to add some vowels and spaces:

LILLY WORe a NECklaSe TO SHOw aNd TelL and PlAyed WiF HeR SOCk MOnkey.

We had brunch with her teacher from last year, the amazing woman behind The Woman Center. She encouraged Lilly to be a brave writer, coming up with her words and letters all by herself to tell a story. Lilly took those instructions fully to heart, and wrote a story. I am a proud Mama tonight.

Mourning a School

L-- graduated from preschool this afternoon, with a beautiful ceremony. Each of the 17 kids in her class, 2 to 5 years old, sat quietly. They wore pretty dresses and nice shirts, sitting on brightly colored Ikea patio chairs. They sat still and listened quietly to their teacher, as Mrs. Leary talked about what they had learned over the year. How they had learned to write their names and about volcanos and atoms, but how they had also learned to be kind, to compromise, to be good listeners, and to be good friends to each other. And because of that, she is very proud of each of them. She called them each by name, and they came up to receive a bouquet of flowers, have their photo taken with Mrs. Leary, and take their Yearbook.

Can you imagine? A yearbook for a preschool?

The Wonder Center called for a yearbook.

This preschool was only open one and a half years. This preschool only had 19 students this year, and only a few additions the half year previous. And as such, this school was a microcosm of the expatriate community in Shanghai. People move quickly, and only stay in your life for a short time. Foreigners struggle to succeed in China, and projects are often foiled by the simplest things.

This school had 5 teachers at any one time, but closer to 10 over its lifetime. And each of them were amazing.

Lu lao shi (teacher Lu) and Miss Yuko were the Chinese teachers, who spoke exclusively to the children in Mandarin. They taught Chinese songs, which my girls love to sing - and which bring such wonderful expressions from the people we pass on the sidewalk. They took on the challenge of speaking only Mandarin to a classroom of preschoolers who all spoke English, many as their second language. None of the children spoke more than cursory Mandarin, and Miss Yuko and Lu lao shi worked patiently and kindly to communicate as loving teachers.

Eveline and Fiona were the art teachers. But not hired as teachers, each was hired as an artist. Eveline has trailed her husband as a spouse for over a decade, and has found paints and canvas at each destination. She sat in the circle of children with a book of Rembrandt’s paintings and discussed self-portraits. Then she gave the children brushes, paint and canvas and worked patiently with them over days and weeks to watch them create their (recognizable!) self-portraits.

Eveline moved back to Holland in the middle of the year, and Fiona took over. Fiona is a graphic artist from Australia, and only had the chance to teach for 6 weeks, but quickly earned a workable comfort level with the children to help them create. Her artistry created a beautiful yearbook.

Miss Julie is an early childhood educator from Omaha, who began the school year with a baby in her belly. She taught with her son in the class, which made the year challenging for both of them, but also made her easily accessible to these students. I once asked L-- to list her teachers, and she forgot to list Miss Julie. When I asked about her, she said that Miss Julie’s not a teacher, she’s just a Mom. Miss Julie is a wonderful teacher, whose simple lessons on reading and writing kept L-- mesmerized and who could confidently bake a load of bread with 5 little helpers. When L-- first started school as a terrified little 3 year old, Miss Julie held her hand, held her on her lap, and carried her through the school until she became comfortable exploring on her own. Miss Julie’s baby eventually came out of her belly, and she and baby Sam spent less time in the school.

Miss Jinah took over as the second teacher. She paid close attention to each child, and could always have a detailed discussion about their individual learning style, their struggles for that day, and their closest friends at the moment. She learned how to teach at the Wonder Center, as she had student taught there a year ago. Miss Jinah is a natural with a rowdy group of children, often being the one to spark the water fights and the games of tag. But she is also one to get close to a child, always holding one on her lap during quiet moments.

Each of these teachers were amazing, and each of them loved our children. The high ratio of teachers to children must have made the school an amazing place to teach, but certainly made it an amazing place to safely be a young child.

Each of these teachers were awesome, but the Wonder Center was nothing without Mrs. Leary. Mrs. Leary must have been born to run a preschool. But having lived a non-traditional life as the child of an American diplomat, Mrs. Leary was born to run a non-traditional school and to be a non-traditional preschool teacher. She wore short skirts and served wine in the school after-hours. Her school was based on the Reggio Emilia philosophy, an education philosophy based on building respect, responsibility and community in young children through allowing them to explore and discover the world around them, placing them in rich and supportive environments and basing the self-guided curriculum on the interests of the children. Mrs. Leary ran everything in the school, creating songs for the children, math projects based on super heroes, and multiple science lessons on atoms, just because it so captured the imaginations of the kids. She created a whimsical play area inside and outside of the school, deemed a nearby park The Magic Forest, and sometimes let the children jump on her trampoline. She taught preschoolers to “use their language” to solve problems, and never allowed tattling. She would walk away from a conflict, telling the children she looked forward to hearing their compromise upon her return. She never called a piece of art beautiful. She knew that beauty is not always the point of art. Rather she discussed each piece with the artist and their friends, pointing out her love of the color choice, or what the painting resembled. She picked up frogs and grasshoppers. She walked around with a camera in her pocket at all times, and she took an amazing number of photos - the glossy, 80-page yearbook if full of incredible pictures of my child and her friends. Each of our children are lucky to have known Mrs. Leary.

She taught them to be writers;

to be artists;

to be learners;

to be explorers;

to be good friends.

She loved each of these children, and she loved the school.

The Wonder Center closed this afternoon, and I can’t even re-read that without crying. Because these teachers and this place had such a wonderful impact on my daughter - a child who loves to learn, but really fears new people - a child who began school as a terrified introvert but can no longer be described by either word. Because this place had a beautiful impact on our whole family. School ended at 1:00 every afternoon, and often the parents and children would not leave the grounds until nearly 2:00. S-- and I were welcomed into the school community every afternoon, and she grew as a confident child ready to start school on her own soon. And I joined an amazing community of women, parents who sought out such a school in such a city. Too many of these families move away within the next week. And the schools doors are permanently closed. This community is finished. And equal parts for L--, S-- and myself, my heart is broken.

A Bit of Certainty

After the last month or so of various bits of uncertainty, life is slowly beginning to come together.

Dave had a meeting with his boss yesterday, who formally asked him to renew his contract.  Uncle H-- will not be moving us to Hong Kong in October or shipping us to the states over the summer.  We had speculated both options, and are quite happy with what has been presented.

The school situation is still in limbo.  I toured two schools in the French Concession, a neighborhood not far from our home.  In fact, this neighborhood is certainly closer to our home than L--'s current school.  I first toured The Nest, a brand new school teaching the Reggio Emilia approach.  This same approach structures the days at the Wonder Center, and we love it.  However, I did not love the school.  A few plastic play structures made up the play room, a handful of white pieces of paper with finger paints made up the art room, and dirty steps and dingy dining rooms completed the facility.  None of the teachers had training or experience with Reggio Emilia and none of the classrooms were mixed-age.  The director of the school seemed quite committed to the Reggio Emilia approach and may well be a wonderful teacher.  Unfortunately, she has not proven herself to be a good director.

I walked out of The Nest feeling wildly discouraged, as if nothing could possibly live up to The Wonder Center.  Then I went into Tiny Tots.  And although it is no Wonder Center, I think it will be fine.  I walked in the door, after having left The Nest, and my first thought was These people clearly know what they're doing.  The rooms were bright, clean and cheerful.  The entire space was quite inviting.  The staff were friendly and the children smiled at me.  The school does not have mixed-age classrooms, which disappoints me.  But when asked about their classroom structure, the tour guide had a sufficient answer.  She explained that their class sizes are quite small - with a 4:1 teacher:student ratio.  This way, children can progress together with children at their own stage but teachers can tailor projects and assignments specifically to the needs and gifts of each child.  They do offer a half-day program - and this program brings them home a full hour earlier than the Wonder Center, which would be lovely.  And although their day is quite structured, their learning is all based in play.  The children all seemed to be quite comfortable and having a truly lovely time.  I think that my children will do fine there.

As I became at peace with this option, I learned that the The Wonder Center may be able to keep their doors open after all.  Cancellation of her lease had caused the director to close the doors this summer.  But the complex which holds the lease had promised a preschool on their grounds to a number of new residents - each of whom now threatens to leave if the preschool disappears.  In a bit of a panic, the chastened landlords have asked the director to stay and she must decide whether or not to trust them.  In short, we still don't know whether or not The Wonder Center will remain in Hongqiao.

Add to that the uncertainty of most of our friends.  Many contracts have been shortened with the fallen economy, sending many people home permanently this summer.  Friends applying to the Foreign Service have months to wait before learning whether or not they will be accepted, and then asked to make multiple short-term moves over an undefined period of time.  And I am quickly learning that none of our friends plan to stay in Shanghai over the summer.

And in the midst of this uncertainty, I am learning to relax.  About a complaint, I received a text this afternoon saying Dont worry love!  It is out of our hands.  I may have the message framed and hung on my wall.    I have moved to where I am not worried about the school, I am not worried about any potential moves, and I am not worried about money.  I am a bit worried about our house - it went back on the market at the beginning of March, but has only seem a few showings.  Word around the neighborhood is that we are wildly overpriced.

Don't worry, love.  It is out of our hands.

Constant Uncertainty

The worst part of expatriate life is the constant uncertainty - few of my friends have any idea how long they will be in Shanghai or where they will go next.  Many people go through the same uncertainty we faced last summer - will we be moving to Singapore in 3 weeks or staying in Shanghai for another year?  People frequently receive under 1 month's lead time before moving out of town entirely.

Unfortunately, the lifestyle in Shanghai only compounds that uncertainty.  Leases change on a whim, shops and restaurants close as quickly as they opened, and friends leave with no more than a week's notice.

We have just received word that L--'s school will close its doors this summer.  No longer sending L-- there next year.  No longer sending S-- there next year.  And I begin the preschool search again - that same torture of searching for the perfect school and then moving around our life to make that school possible.

And this time, I dread it.  Because last year, I only found one perfect school.  We moved our home across town to send L-- to that one perfect school.  And boy, is it perfect.  We love the teachers and the setting, we love the philosophy on learning, we love the other kids and the other parents.  L-- and I have both made some wonderful friends.  So now I begin the search knowing that the perfect school isn't out there, instead seeking its far second.

Of course, the situation is not so dire this year.  L-- has gained tremendous social confidence through her time at The Wonder Center.  S-- already has plenty of social confidence, and is only beginning school this fall because she so desires to be surrounded by other people.  The girls will be fine.

But dang it.

These years we have faced such change and turmoil.  Changing houses fewer than every 12 months - and I have no love for this home, and so a new school may just mean a new home at the end of this lease.  We left behind our good friends across town with our last move.  This time, our good friends surround The Wonder Center.  A new school means leaving all of those friends behind.

I'll admit it.  When I received the news, I cried.