Although we mailed our documentation and our fingerprints to our adoption agency last week,
it seems that our adoption agency only received our documentation.
No fingerprints.
This is a real problem, for many reasons.
1: We paid nearly $100 for the fingerprints, plus taking advantage of friends for child care and burning about 3 hours of vacation time.
2: Dave returns to Shanghai on Sunday, leaving us only a very few days to get them ready to mail within the month.
3: Our agency will not acknowledge their loss of our fingerprints, meaning that any extra cost will be ours.
It seems that this may end up putting off our application to USCIS by as much as 4 weeks.
Needless to say, Dave and I are a bit grumpy this morning.
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Sunday, December 28, 2008
The Reunion
When people ask where we're from, we generally say St. Louis. Although neither of us feels a real affinity toward what was our home city for 7 years, it was our most recent address and so it feels like the right thing to say.
We arrived in St. Louis last night, after spending a week in Chicago. And I'll admit that it felt good to be "home." Our house sits on the market, and so we're sleeping down the street. But walking the same streets, visiting our favorite restaurants and shopping at the same stores feels lusciously comfortable. We visited a grocery store yesterday, and it felt like a reunion with old friends. We used to hang out with Wheat Thins. Remember when we ate Pizza Rolls? Ah, we loved that barbeque sauce!
St. Louis feels comfortable, and in a way that Shanghai may never feel comfortable. But comfort is the end of our feelings toward St. Louis. Beyond our family and friends (and the horrible housing market), precious few things act as a magnet trying to pull us back to St. Louis. The exception to the rule is New City Fellowship, our church.
New City is a transient church, pulling many members from the denomination's seminary in town. Its the type of church with very few people in attendance in Christmas, and so we knew very few other attendees in the pew this morning. But even though our friends were missing, I still felt at home. The pastors were the same, and the music was the same. The style of the worship had not strayed, and the type of community had lasted through a cycle of people. Young families with loads of kids filled the pews, and little noisemakers buzzed throughout the first portion of the service. A crew of instrumentalists lined up behind the worship team, and voiced their instruments whenever they seemed appropriate. Refugee families filled the pews, gathered by nationality. In many ways it felt like our church in Shanghai, with different colored faces and different styles of clothes. But in this crowd, many of the faces were refugee families and others were people intent on serving God's people. In our crowd in Shanghai, we're all expatriates on corporate packages and although we mix with other nationalities, we don't meet economic diversity in our daily lives (although we pass it on the street, and employ it in our homes).
The girls went to Sunday School, and sang along with the worship songs. Dave and I enjoyed the company and the sermon. It felt good to be home, and sad to miss such a wonderful community.
We arrived in St. Louis last night, after spending a week in Chicago. And I'll admit that it felt good to be "home." Our house sits on the market, and so we're sleeping down the street. But walking the same streets, visiting our favorite restaurants and shopping at the same stores feels lusciously comfortable. We visited a grocery store yesterday, and it felt like a reunion with old friends. We used to hang out with Wheat Thins. Remember when we ate Pizza Rolls? Ah, we loved that barbeque sauce!
St. Louis feels comfortable, and in a way that Shanghai may never feel comfortable. But comfort is the end of our feelings toward St. Louis. Beyond our family and friends (and the horrible housing market), precious few things act as a magnet trying to pull us back to St. Louis. The exception to the rule is New City Fellowship, our church.
New City is a transient church, pulling many members from the denomination's seminary in town. Its the type of church with very few people in attendance in Christmas, and so we knew very few other attendees in the pew this morning. But even though our friends were missing, I still felt at home. The pastors were the same, and the music was the same. The style of the worship had not strayed, and the type of community had lasted through a cycle of people. Young families with loads of kids filled the pews, and little noisemakers buzzed throughout the first portion of the service. A crew of instrumentalists lined up behind the worship team, and voiced their instruments whenever they seemed appropriate. Refugee families filled the pews, gathered by nationality. In many ways it felt like our church in Shanghai, with different colored faces and different styles of clothes. But in this crowd, many of the faces were refugee families and others were people intent on serving God's people. In our crowd in Shanghai, we're all expatriates on corporate packages and although we mix with other nationalities, we don't meet economic diversity in our daily lives (although we pass it on the street, and employ it in our homes).
The girls went to Sunday School, and sang along with the worship songs. Dave and I enjoyed the company and the sermon. It felt good to be home, and sad to miss such a wonderful community.
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
Bi-Homal
I have not reached bi-lingual status during my year on China, but I do believe that I have reached Bi-Homal status. Shanghai is certainly my home - my friends are there, my bed and my children's toys, my grocery store and my routines are in Shanghai. It is certainly my home. But since arriving on Friday in Chicago, I feel completely at home in an entirely different way. I fall into comfortable old habits, talk to people I've known for years, and everything I do feels easy and natural. I realize I am fully a friendly American as I hold conversations with the Hispanic woman at the post office and the Indian woman at Dunkin Donuts. I don't think twice about driving, but rather get behind the wheel and go as if I've been driving all year. America is my home, and maybe always will be. The interesting question is how true that will be for my children - already, S-- has spent over half of her life abroad. By September, L-- will reach the same milestone. Where will their home be?
Adoption Update
I overnighted a serious package yesterday.
Sent from the states, overnighting by USPS was a simple option compared to mailing quickly from China. We sent a serious package into our adoption agency:
And now, we wait.
We wait for the USCIS (United States Citizenship and Immigration Services) to approve our application. We've been told that we'll have a 60 day wait from them, although friends told us they've been waiting for closer to 90 days.
Once we receive approval from USCIS, we submit our dossier to CCAA (China Center of Adoption Affairs). We're being told to expect 12 to 18 months for word from CCAA, although friends tell us they've been waiting for closer to 2 years with the wait time climbing every month. Word is that the wait time should stabilize soon, but may have climbed to an average of 18 to 24 months for expatriate families living in China.
Following this schedule, Mei Mei should arrive in our home by summer of 2012. Two and a half years from now seems a long time away - we'll have a 4 and 5 year old, and who knows where we'll be living. Oh, the changes life can bring!
Sent from the states, overnighting by USPS was a simple option compared to mailing quickly from China. We sent a serious package into our adoption agency:
- Fingerprints, with a very intimidating seal from the U.S. Consulate in Shanghai
- 4 copies of our Homestudy, each requiring certain signatures and stamps
- I-800A, our application to the U.S. government to allow Mei Mei to enter our family as an American
- A check for over $8,000 - that one really hurt
And now, we wait.
We wait for the USCIS (United States Citizenship and Immigration Services) to approve our application. We've been told that we'll have a 60 day wait from them, although friends told us they've been waiting for closer to 90 days.
Once we receive approval from USCIS, we submit our dossier to CCAA (China Center of Adoption Affairs). We're being told to expect 12 to 18 months for word from CCAA, although friends tell us they've been waiting for closer to 2 years with the wait time climbing every month. Word is that the wait time should stabilize soon, but may have climbed to an average of 18 to 24 months for expatriate families living in China.
Following this schedule, Mei Mei should arrive in our home by summer of 2012. Two and a half years from now seems a long time away - we'll have a 4 and 5 year old, and who knows where we'll be living. Oh, the changes life can bring!
Saturday, December 20, 2008
Up and At 'Em!
Listing by Chicago time:
3:00pm Thursday - The family began to wake for the day
10:30pm Thursday - We headed off for the airport
3:30am Friday - The flight took off, right on time
8:30am - The girls fell asleep
1:00pm - Everyone's awake
4:20pm - The flight landed, an hour early
10:00pm - To bed, and to sleep quickly
3:00am Saturday - I can not stay in bed another minute
L--, Dave and I are up and putzing around Grammy and Grampa's house, while S-- continues to sleep upstairs. We hoped for crazy Christmas hours at Target so we could use our time usefully and then pick up donuts on the way home. Apparently, opening at 4am would be a bit too crazy for Target.
A good 4 hours of sleep on the plane, and another 6 hours overnight puts us at a pretty good place for facing the week ahead. The flight went well, 2 hours shorter than we had expected. The girls did great; eating, playing and sleeping quite well. I'm not dreading the next flight, although I'm happy its a good 6 weeks away.
3:00pm Thursday - The family began to wake for the day
10:30pm Thursday - We headed off for the airport
3:30am Friday - The flight took off, right on time
8:30am - The girls fell asleep
1:00pm - Everyone's awake
4:20pm - The flight landed, an hour early
10:00pm - To bed, and to sleep quickly
3:00am Saturday - I can not stay in bed another minute
L--, Dave and I are up and putzing around Grammy and Grampa's house, while S-- continues to sleep upstairs. We hoped for crazy Christmas hours at Target so we could use our time usefully and then pick up donuts on the way home. Apparently, opening at 4am would be a bit too crazy for Target.
A good 4 hours of sleep on the plane, and another 6 hours overnight puts us at a pretty good place for facing the week ahead. The flight went well, 2 hours shorter than we had expected. The girls did great; eating, playing and sleeping quite well. I'm not dreading the next flight, although I'm happy its a good 6 weeks away.
Thursday, December 18, 2008
And So It Begins
We fly to America at the end of the day today. Fourteen hours later, we land in Chicago in the middle of the day there. Today.
5:30am Friday, Shanghai - Dave and I are both awake
Start the no sleep clock at 3:30pm Thursday, Chicago time.
And so the day begins.
5:30am Friday, Shanghai - Dave and I are both awake
Start the no sleep clock at 3:30pm Thursday, Chicago time.
And so the day begins.
Confrontation
As in most cultures, the ugliest side of Chinese people comes out when they're behind a wheel. But while Americans will curse and shake their fists at people who cut them off, Chinese people will regularly step out of the car and run yelling toward the person offending them. This style of confrontation is quite likely in such a selfish driving culture as Shanghai displays. People don't think twice about driving into oncoming traffic or stopping in a manner which brings traffic to a halt.
This evening, the girls and I walked to the ATM. I walked, that is. The girls rode their new bikes. As these are new bikes, and a bit outsized for the little tikes, they rode quite slowly and with my assistance. But as we stuck to large sidewalks, it caused no problem.
No problem, that is, until we reached the sidewalk where a man behind the wheel of a large van wanted to drive. The sidewalk was large enough for a van, and possibly could have fit an individual walking next to the van. But with two youngsters on bikes, this van passing us was simply not an option. As he honked his horn behind us, I stayed firmly in the middle of the sidewalk, a few steps behind the girls to ensure their safety. The man revved his engine and attempted to pull around - coming dangerously close to S--. I quickly turned, slamming my fist onto his hood, and glared at him for a good 10 seconds. He seemed to shrink back, and so I returned to my shepherding.
As soon as I turned around, he lay on his horn and again jerked forward. I pulled the same move - quickly turning and slamming my fist on his hood. This time I added a point at his face and some harsh words in English.
After yet one more round of this, the man got out of his car and stormed toward me. My insides felt amazed - he really thought that the van on the sidwalk had the right-of-way over two young children? My outsides felt wildly angry, and looked around for support. The best way to win a public argument in China is to pull a crowd that sides with you. Quickly people began to gather, and confident that I was in the right, I stood my ground. More than stood my ground, in fact. As suits a person in a Chinese confrontation, I began yelling at the man in Mandarin.
He yelled something back at me and then stepped back into his car, quickly backing down from the growing crowd. We walked at our toddler pace to the bank, only a few steps away. He inched close behind us, and lay on the horn the entire way. But I felt like I fit right into my surroundings for having stood my ground.
This evening, the girls and I walked to the ATM. I walked, that is. The girls rode their new bikes. As these are new bikes, and a bit outsized for the little tikes, they rode quite slowly and with my assistance. But as we stuck to large sidewalks, it caused no problem.
No problem, that is, until we reached the sidewalk where a man behind the wheel of a large van wanted to drive. The sidewalk was large enough for a van, and possibly could have fit an individual walking next to the van. But with two youngsters on bikes, this van passing us was simply not an option. As he honked his horn behind us, I stayed firmly in the middle of the sidewalk, a few steps behind the girls to ensure their safety. The man revved his engine and attempted to pull around - coming dangerously close to S--. I quickly turned, slamming my fist onto his hood, and glared at him for a good 10 seconds. He seemed to shrink back, and so I returned to my shepherding.
As soon as I turned around, he lay on his horn and again jerked forward. I pulled the same move - quickly turning and slamming my fist on his hood. This time I added a point at his face and some harsh words in English.
After yet one more round of this, the man got out of his car and stormed toward me. My insides felt amazed - he really thought that the van on the sidwalk had the right-of-way over two young children? My outsides felt wildly angry, and looked around for support. The best way to win a public argument in China is to pull a crowd that sides with you. Quickly people began to gather, and confident that I was in the right, I stood my ground. More than stood my ground, in fact. As suits a person in a Chinese confrontation, I began yelling at the man in Mandarin.
He yelled something back at me and then stepped back into his car, quickly backing down from the growing crowd. We walked at our toddler pace to the bank, only a few steps away. He inched close behind us, and lay on the horn the entire way. But I felt like I fit right into my surroundings for having stood my ground.
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