He passed the test.
Dave passed the Written Exam. This is the test he took a few weeks ago, restarting his candidacy for the Foreign Service in the Economic track. Next, submitting essays. We're still expecting him to interview in DC around Christmas.
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Postponing Mei Mei
Within our little house, time seems to be standing still. We spend our days simply, painting and swimming, playing and cooking, and enjoying all three of our little girls. The days pass smoothly, and Annika lives so peacefully that we are enjoying how long she is staying little.
But outside of our house, time has not stood still. We received word from our social worker that our family is within the next 10 families to be matched by CCAA. Simply, we could be matched with Mei Mei within the next few weeks.
This would be disaster. Mei Mei would be older than Annika, and we would not be able to devote enough time and energy to either child. So, upon the advice of our social worker and our agency, we have written a letter to China. We state that we are still quite enthusiastic about adopting, but that to be fair to all of our children, we request our match be postponed until next year.
Our social worker has wonderful connections at CCAA, and feels good about this course of action. Because she has wonderful connections, I feel confident that she can help us make the right thing work. I am not comfortable with receiving a match when Annika is 12 months old - only 6 months age difference would be too close, and 12 months is simply too young to have the position of baby usurped. Fifteen months may have been too young, but we made it work 5 years ago. I could be convinced to make that work again.
But this is not the choice for today. For today, we chose to continue our adoption by postponing our match for at least 1 year. One less decision to worry about!
But outside of our house, time has not stood still. We received word from our social worker that our family is within the next 10 families to be matched by CCAA. Simply, we could be matched with Mei Mei within the next few weeks.
This would be disaster. Mei Mei would be older than Annika, and we would not be able to devote enough time and energy to either child. So, upon the advice of our social worker and our agency, we have written a letter to China. We state that we are still quite enthusiastic about adopting, but that to be fair to all of our children, we request our match be postponed until next year.
Our social worker has wonderful connections at CCAA, and feels good about this course of action. Because she has wonderful connections, I feel confident that she can help us make the right thing work. I am not comfortable with receiving a match when Annika is 12 months old - only 6 months age difference would be too close, and 12 months is simply too young to have the position of baby usurped. Fifteen months may have been too young, but we made it work 5 years ago. I could be convinced to make that work again.
But this is not the choice for today. For today, we chose to continue our adoption by postponing our match for at least 1 year. One less decision to worry about!
Friday, June 25, 2010
Lull in the Conversation
Summer has begun, and brought with it long and playful days. We're keeping busy at the swimming pool, on playdates, and creating amazing works of art. Little Annika keeps us busy as well, eating, sleeping, smiling and snuggling. The weather still has the cool of spring, and so we're eating dinner on the rooftop balcony most evenings. Shanghai has felt like home for some time now; and so, although we expected to leave China this summer, we feel no real sadness at remaining here.
Dave still struggles with enjoying his job, which calls for many hours away from home. He diligently studies his Mandarin, working with a tutor for an hour every day and bringing home new words every evening.
I have begun the post-baby diet, exercising during quiet time every afternoon and keeping as close to 1200 calories as possible every day - which means lots of cooking, and plenty of fresh fruits and vegetables. Lucky for us we've found a fantastic supplier of local, organic produce. We are enjoying blueberries, french beans and zucchini these days.
And this is why I haven't posted anything lately. Written above could be said on any of the last few days, and any of the coming few weeks. Flurries of excitement will come when they send out invitations to the September class, and when Dave moves forward in the second round of his Foreign Service application. But otherwise, we keep a pretty chill house these days.
Dave still struggles with enjoying his job, which calls for many hours away from home. He diligently studies his Mandarin, working with a tutor for an hour every day and bringing home new words every evening.
I have begun the post-baby diet, exercising during quiet time every afternoon and keeping as close to 1200 calories as possible every day - which means lots of cooking, and plenty of fresh fruits and vegetables. Lucky for us we've found a fantastic supplier of local, organic produce. We are enjoying blueberries, french beans and zucchini these days.
And this is why I haven't posted anything lately. Written above could be said on any of the last few days, and any of the coming few weeks. Flurries of excitement will come when they send out invitations to the September class, and when Dave moves forward in the second round of his Foreign Service application. But otherwise, we keep a pretty chill house these days.
Monday, June 21, 2010
Overcome
It seems that I have faced major decision meltdown. Maybe we've just had too many life choices and potential changes before us for the past year, and now my mind and my emotions are simply shutting down. Last night, I felt despair because we had clearly made the wrong choice - we should not have purchased bunk beds. Tonight, I felt despair because we clearly made the wrong choice - Lilly should be starting kindergarten.
I can't help but wonder where this despair comes from. Couple this with my inability to make choices over our summer travel, and we see a strong pattern. It seems I have lost all ability to cope with and consider change. Maybe that's fair, in light of the year we're in the midst of. Still, that stress may be fair at this point does not make it practical or helpful.
I've had a strong prayer life over the last few months, which has been the source of my peace. Well, that and three bright, charming, loving and peaceful children; a strong group of supportive friends; and a wonderful husband. But I wonder if I've been putting too much faith in prayer. As I write it, that seems impossible. But still, I wonder.
As I've faced decisions of late, I've prayed on them. And prayed, and prayed, and prayed on them. And I've not seen clear answers to any of them. Scratch that - I've got a nice list of answered prayers. Annika is a peaceful baby - answered prayer. Discovery Woods never gave me their mailing address, so I could not send money to enroll the girls for their preschool in the fall - answered prayer.
But when I face a question, I often don't see a clear answer. For example, Dave and I struggled enormously over whether Lilly should begin kindergarten or pre-k in the fall. We both felt she is ready for kindergarten, both socially and academically. But, the prevailing wisdom says that a child performs better as the oldest child in the class rather than the youngest. We questioned our gut reaction, realizing that every parent believes their child is above average. I prayed over the decision, and prayed, and prayed. I talked to everyone who had an opinion, waiting for God to speak clearly. The results came back fuzzy - people who knew Lilly saw her as ready, people who didn't know Lilly saw the research and statistics as quite clear. So we took the prevailing wisdom, knowing that being older can not hurt.
So here's the point: We prayed for guidance, and we only received mixed messages.
And now, I face all sorts of decisions without clear answers. I pray for guidance, and I don't receive a clear answer. So here's where I'm heading with this - prayer is great, but God doesn't want me to be wishy-washy, either. He placed a good brain in my head, and he put a strong gut in my, well, in my gut. If in prayer, God doesn't write an answer in stone, maybe its because He trusts me to make my own choice.
Reassuring, in one sense. Nice to feel that the God of the universe trusts my intellect.
Frightening, in another. I'd much rather believe that God has a plan for when Mei Mei will finally join our family, and that if I listen hard enough, He will lay it out for me. I'd rather believe that if I make God's choice, Mei Mei will come at the perfect time.
That may not be true, though. Mei Mei may not come at the perfect time.
That may be God's plan. Or it may be what God allows to happen. And I suppose the only comfort, then, is that God is faithful. Even if all of our choices lead to difficulty - God is good. All the time.
I can't help but wonder where this despair comes from. Couple this with my inability to make choices over our summer travel, and we see a strong pattern. It seems I have lost all ability to cope with and consider change. Maybe that's fair, in light of the year we're in the midst of. Still, that stress may be fair at this point does not make it practical or helpful.
I've had a strong prayer life over the last few months, which has been the source of my peace. Well, that and three bright, charming, loving and peaceful children; a strong group of supportive friends; and a wonderful husband. But I wonder if I've been putting too much faith in prayer. As I write it, that seems impossible. But still, I wonder.
As I've faced decisions of late, I've prayed on them. And prayed, and prayed, and prayed on them. And I've not seen clear answers to any of them. Scratch that - I've got a nice list of answered prayers. Annika is a peaceful baby - answered prayer. Discovery Woods never gave me their mailing address, so I could not send money to enroll the girls for their preschool in the fall - answered prayer.
But when I face a question, I often don't see a clear answer. For example, Dave and I struggled enormously over whether Lilly should begin kindergarten or pre-k in the fall. We both felt she is ready for kindergarten, both socially and academically. But, the prevailing wisdom says that a child performs better as the oldest child in the class rather than the youngest. We questioned our gut reaction, realizing that every parent believes their child is above average. I prayed over the decision, and prayed, and prayed. I talked to everyone who had an opinion, waiting for God to speak clearly. The results came back fuzzy - people who knew Lilly saw her as ready, people who didn't know Lilly saw the research and statistics as quite clear. So we took the prevailing wisdom, knowing that being older can not hurt.
So here's the point: We prayed for guidance, and we only received mixed messages.
And now, I face all sorts of decisions without clear answers. I pray for guidance, and I don't receive a clear answer. So here's where I'm heading with this - prayer is great, but God doesn't want me to be wishy-washy, either. He placed a good brain in my head, and he put a strong gut in my, well, in my gut. If in prayer, God doesn't write an answer in stone, maybe its because He trusts me to make my own choice.
Reassuring, in one sense. Nice to feel that the God of the universe trusts my intellect.
Frightening, in another. I'd much rather believe that God has a plan for when Mei Mei will finally join our family, and that if I listen hard enough, He will lay it out for me. I'd rather believe that if I make God's choice, Mei Mei will come at the perfect time.
That may not be true, though. Mei Mei may not come at the perfect time.
That may be God's plan. Or it may be what God allows to happen. And I suppose the only comfort, then, is that God is faithful. Even if all of our choices lead to difficulty - God is good. All the time.
Sunday, June 20, 2010
Quote of the Day
When Dave woke up this morning, Lilly immediately asked him Is today Father's Day?
Dave: Yes, it is.
Lilly: Oh, yay!
Dave: Why is that so good?
Lilly: Because Father's Day is on Sunday, so that means that tonight is Movie Night!
At least he got to pick the movie :)
Dave: Yes, it is.
Lilly: Oh, yay!
Dave: Why is that so good?
Lilly: Because Father's Day is on Sunday, so that means that tonight is Movie Night!
At least he got to pick the movie :)
Friday, June 11, 2010
Fast Times in Shanghai
I stole the image below from gizmodo.com . I find it amazing, and displays perfectly how quickly change is happening in Shanghai. The top photo was taken in 1990 - the bottom photo in 2010, only 20 years later. Were it not for the river, you would doubt it is the same place.
Starting Over
Dave sits for the Foreign Service Written Exam this afternoon. Please pray keep him in your prayers.
This test begins his candidacy in the Economic register.
Dave currently has a 5.6 on the Political register. Calls recently completed for the August class, and they reached 5.7 (15 steps ahead of Dave) on the Political register. They reached 5.5 on the Economic register.
Today's test is pass-fail. Upon passing this test, he will be asked to submit essays - also pass-fail. Upon acceptance of the essays, he will be asked to return to DC for another Oral Exam. This is where he will receive another score, and hopefully be placed immediately upon the Economic register.
He also tried to schedule his Mandarin language test for next week. We just learned that the earliest he can test in Mandarin is August 1. Should he pass, he would be eligible for the October class - the last class of the year. Should he fail, he could not take the test again until February. I think he will choose to postpone the test until November, just before we come home for Christmas.
The political register is literally adding more people than it is draining - possibly twice as many. Many more people are increasing their scores by taking language tests. Dave will sit on the Political register for 18 months, or until September of 2011. Still, as candidates continue to test and to receive their clearances, candidates will continue to be placed on the register. With expected budget cuts next year, the political register looks more and more like a dead end.
Continue to pray for God's guidance as this route looks more and more difficult. We will certainly be in Shanghai for the rest of this calendar year, leaving Dave in his job for at least 6 more months. We are happy here, but Dave's job is not the right place for him anymore.
This test begins his candidacy in the Economic register.
Dave currently has a 5.6 on the Political register. Calls recently completed for the August class, and they reached 5.7 (15 steps ahead of Dave) on the Political register. They reached 5.5 on the Economic register.
Today's test is pass-fail. Upon passing this test, he will be asked to submit essays - also pass-fail. Upon acceptance of the essays, he will be asked to return to DC for another Oral Exam. This is where he will receive another score, and hopefully be placed immediately upon the Economic register.
He also tried to schedule his Mandarin language test for next week. We just learned that the earliest he can test in Mandarin is August 1. Should he pass, he would be eligible for the October class - the last class of the year. Should he fail, he could not take the test again until February. I think he will choose to postpone the test until November, just before we come home for Christmas.
The political register is literally adding more people than it is draining - possibly twice as many. Many more people are increasing their scores by taking language tests. Dave will sit on the Political register for 18 months, or until September of 2011. Still, as candidates continue to test and to receive their clearances, candidates will continue to be placed on the register. With expected budget cuts next year, the political register looks more and more like a dead end.
Continue to pray for God's guidance as this route looks more and more difficult. We will certainly be in Shanghai for the rest of this calendar year, leaving Dave in his job for at least 6 more months. We are happy here, but Dave's job is not the right place for him anymore.
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