To ayi or not to ayi

For those of you unacquainted with Chinese expatriate lingo, an ayi is basically a housekeeper. I spoke with a woman this morning whose ayi works from 10am - 8pm Monday through Saturday, and she pays her 2,000 RMB per month. That's about $250, or about $1 an hour. Ayis always clean, and often cook, pay the bills, do the shopping and/or look after the children. Families with both parents working outside the home often hire one ayi for each child, and then another 1-2 ayis just to keep the house. This is so common that I have not yet met, or even heard about, any expat in Shanghai who does not have an ayi.

Many people also hire a driver. It is quite difficult to obtain a driver's license in Shanghai, let alone to manage driving. A friend has a new mini-van with driver at her disposal 24 hours a day, 7 days a week for 11,000 RMB per month. That's nearly $1,500. Much pricier than an ayi, although many companies will foot the bill for expats. Uncle H-- does not.

All this to explain that having a staff in China is quite common.

And not something I'm particularly interested in.

I have said before that I intend to hire both. I have probably also mentioned that I feel no need to hire either. I waver on a regular basis. I think I've decided to try living without a driver, but hiring one for the day as necessary. That cost is closer to $50 a day, a manageable expense if we only use him 3-6 times a month.

But the ayi leaves me torn. And I'm starting to question, why am I so opposed to hiring one?

The simple fact is that everyone hires an ayi. This is no matter of peer pressure. It's more a matter of having no reason not to. If you can easily afford to have someone handle all of your daily chores and grunt work, why wouldn't you?

Just to be troublesome, I came up with a good answer.

We're trying to live simply. Beyond that, we're trying to save money while still availing ourselves of all opportunities to travel. Bali and Bangkok will not come cheap, and maybe we'd prefer trips like this to a clean home.

But then, there's last night.

Dave came home on time - right around 6:30.

The girls woke up on time, if not a bit late - right around 5:30.

Within this hour, I hoped to fix dinner so we could all sit down as soon as Dave came in the door.

Both children spent most of their time either climbing on me, or attempting to climb on the hot oven. The time they weren't monkeying around near burning hot objects, they spent pushing, pinching and bighting each other. Trying to attend to a gas stove and a bit child at the same time is nearly impossible.

And I thought, how am I supposed to do this?

I could hire an ayi.

Or I could get by like many mothers of young children do - by getting by. But is there any sense in making my life this difficult? And furthermore, most mothers of young children and few means live within an extended family setting, where they still have help caring for the children. Is that a fair statement? So maybe one of the curses of money is that it makes it so simple to distance ourselves from needing our families and communities.

I'll let you know what I decide.