Malar

One of the great joys of living abroad is all of the people we meet. Dave gets to work with an office full of Chinese people who all speak good English. He enjoys evenings out with them, business lunches at local restaurants and casual conversation. We're hoping to get invited to a wedding before we move as well.

My circle does not introduce me to as many different cultures. I mainly meet other mothers, and those all are people who speak English. It seems that women who spend their time with other English speakers are primarily from western countries. If from Asia, they are from Singapore, Japan or Hong Kong. Apart from Japan, these places are not so different from life in the states.

But I have really enjoyed developing a friendship with Malar. She lives in out complex, having moved in a few weeks after we did. He son is a few months older than L--, and her daughter is 6 months old. She moved here from Southern India. And although I feel I have quite a bit in common with her, and we easily have casual conversation together, I love to discuss how different our cultures are as well. Some of the more interesting differences we've enjoyed talking about:

- Her marriage was arranged, and she feels quite happy with that choice.

- Children in India begin school at 2 1/2. And this is real school, learning to write and sitting still in desks.

- Visiting America requires use of a car, or that the people you visit take time off to show you around. But it is also very child-friendly, with high chairs at every restaurant and changing tables in every public bathroom.

- Like in China, Indian parents begin potty training their children immediately and do not use diapers.

I could make a longer list, but it is not necessary. Today, she fixed a quick lunch for me. I am horrible in that I can not remember names of anything she prepared, but I can describe. And everything was wonderful - I am now intimidated to fix a meal for her! She served a small dish of chicken curry - at 1/5 of the standard level of spice, it was nearly too hot for me. This I was to pour on top of a dish much like a flatbread except it was made from rice and lentils. I ate two, and the girls ate another - it was fantastic. I told her that she's started a bad trend - I may join her for lunch every day!

I also mentioned to her the possibility of our moving to India when we finish in China. I loved her response. She told me that she would help me as much as she could, and that I would love India. Then she backed up, and made sure I knew how difficult life is in India. The roads are very bad. The traffic is horrible. Customer service does not exist. But, she went on, everything is so inexpensive that we will live like kings and queens. And even better, she said that Indians are quite friendly and helpful. And I figure that if everyone speaks English, I'm alraedy miles ahead of where I am now! She's gotten me quite excited at the prospect.