It Didn't Work Today

For an international move to a critical threat city, our family has faired quite well so far.  We've been warmly welcomed, we've been helped tremendously, we have a lovely home and a fabulous school.  Big picture, we have nothing to complain about.  And life has been so busy that I've finished each day feeling good about all I was able to accomplish, not worrying about what was left undone.

Today, I felt the failure which naturally comes with a new place.  And knowing that this is normal makes it that much more frustrating, because it feels so... typical.

Annika and I joined a playgroup this morning, which was lovely.  New people, new group, On-Personality all morning, but great folks and good toys and a good morning.  I may have successfully communicated with Mariluz, our housekeeper, over some previous miscommunications over lunch.  That felt pretty good, although the need to do it was rather biting.  And then I read a book for a while as Annika went down for her nap, knowing that I needed to meet the bus soon for early release.

No accomplishments during the day so far.

Sophia was invited to a friend's house for the afternoon - hooray!  Lilly, jealous, came home to begin what became over 2 hours of homework.  She was a good sport about it, but became fidgetty and frustrated and so I became short and by the time I began dinner, I was not in good spirits.

And then there's dinner.  We have had no cash since Thursday last.  So last Thursday is the last time I went to the grocery store, where I spent the last of our cash.  Whatever I found a week ago is what we've been living off of.  And in a country with frequent grocery shortages, and in a country where I have neither built up my pantry nor figured out what is affordably available, grocery shopping once a week is simply not enough.  Its putting it mildly to say that dinner tonite wasn't very good.  It was more of a comedy of errors, with attempts failing one after the other, while the light bulbs burned out one by one (at last count, we've lost 15 bulbs since we moved in 3 weeks ago).  The girls were getting antsy, it was time to pick up Sophia, and Dave calls to say he's coming home late.

These nights are frustrating at home, when you've got a standard routine and comfortable coping mechanics.  They feel more like the end of the world when those systems aren't established yet.

Luckily, I have a full day planned for tomorrow - a day which includes two separate grocery trips.  I should be able to finish the day feeling as if I accomplished something.

And luckily, Venezuela makes some fine chocolate.  We may not have had any wine in the house for drowning my sorrows, but that bar of chocolate served as a fine stand in.  As well as a big order of books from Amazon.com.  Today, it feels like a blessing that I forgot to pack any books.