Suckerpunched

We moved to St. Louis in the summer of 2000 - so we lived there for 7 years. We bought our house at the end of our first lease, so we lived in our house for 6 years.

Wow.

Six years.

In that time, I'm afraid I can't say that I grew to love St. Louis. Maybe it compares more to your parents' car. It's not what you would have chosen, and it comes to you already scratched and imperfect. But you drive it every day so that you know every tick and you can work past every problem. It's home.

St. Louis is an interesting town. If you're a native, you love it. And you probably won't ever leave. If you're a transplant, you may never love it. And most of your friends will probably be transplants as well.

But bearing all problems in mind, St. Louis somehow manages to suck people in. In the 7 years that we lived there, only 3 friends actually moved away. And one moved only as far as Columbia, a 2-hour drive away to work in the state capital, so I'm not sure it counts. The restaurants are priced within reach, the housing is affordable, the parks are plentiful, the ball team took the penant, and the universities and hospitals are some of the best.

So not only did St. Louis suck us in, but it worked its magnetic magic on our family as well. In the last few years, both my parents and my sister-in-law and her husband moved to St. Louis. Had we not been there, neither would have made the move.

Selfishly, I have no regrets that either lived in town with us.

We got to know my SIL and her husband better than I could have imagined. She's easily one of my closest friends. And he's not only amazing with our girls, but also a thoughtful conservative mind. Discussing politics in Dave's family is often dangerous, but when he's involved he quietly mediates a voice of reason from both sides. I've enjoyed getting to know them immensely, and I hope we have a chance again to live within a few miles of each other.

Living with my parents down the street could have been disaster, but we were in heaven. My girls were as comfortable with Nana and Papa as with us. And Nana and Papa's home felt like home to them. During the stress of moving, being able to stay in the stronghold of Nana and Papa's home certainly made the time easier for both girls. But having such support within walking distance for a year was a Godsend for me as well. S-- remains a difficult baby, and neither of us would have survived this year without the infant skills of my mother and the quiet, solid patience of my father. They walked our dog, babysat in a pinch, joined us for many meals, and were overall wonderful neighbors. I hope that when we honestly settle down, they will consider following us again.

I feel the need to apologize for abandoning both families.

I'm sorry.

But at the same time, I'm torn. I'm filled with joy that we were able to share our lives with each of you, if even for just one year.