Lane Reconstruction

I'm feeling nervous.

A small brick wall has grown around our garden. Its about 4 bricks high, roughly made of old bricks and a mud mortar. It edges the public walk, and so meets up with the line of trees which surround our small garden.

I'm nervous that this wall will continue to grow. Many workmen stand gathered near the wall, riding on the exercise playground, mixing more mortar, smoking cigarettes.

It seems that the wall around the public garden across from us has come down as well, and I am hoping that they have moved from my low wall onto the next one.

I do not feel confident.

Today, light streams in through our french doors and our many beautiful windows, filtered by the tall trees surrounding our garden. It makes the kitchen feel brighter, makes the entire house warmer, and adds a lovely glow at the right time of day.

Should that wall rise further, we would look out our windows onto what would have clearly become thin bushes, only lightly masking the lumpy wall behind them. Our garden would no longer get any light. We would no longer have access to the exercise playground, and I certainly couldn't send the girls there alone. I would feel cut-off from the lane.

Still no work on our wall. The men seem to be working on the opposite garden now. Still, I am nervous.

Christmas Traditions

The day before we left Chicago for Shanghai, Dave and I sat around his family dinner table with a few of his family members discussing family traditions. Dave's family has observed the same Christmas Eve and Christmas Day routines for years - they have very clear Christmas Day traditions. His brother in-law shared how his family has NO Christmas Day traditions. He was quite adamant about the lack, and his wife agreed. No routine for the day.

I sat quietly, thinking about what my family's traditions may be. Our Christmas Day has always been rather simple. Presents immediately in the morning, but only after everyone was awake. Breakfast afterward, something tasty but pre-made, like coffeecake. Dinner of ham or turkey at around 1:00pm. And an otherwise quiet day spent playing with new toys and enjoying each other's company.

Not a day filled with tradition.

But what I've come to realize is that my family's traditions come during the Advent season. We have always shopped together for a live Christmas tree. I have memories of trudging through snow deeper than my ankles to find the perfect tree; always passing up the first one that seemed pretty good, only to return to that perfect tree after our boots had let in the wet and the wind has seeped into our ears. Hot chocolate and candy canes while we stood around the little window to pay, and feeling far away and in the midst of a forest. We bake. We bake cookies like nobody's business - a cake saver full of sugar cookies, some frosted and some left plain; my grandmother's snow-on-plowed-field recipe; cherry bon-bons; peppermint patties; macaroons; and always at least one new recipe. And then there's pie. My mom would make 2-3 pies for Christmas Dinner, leaving her cooking them throughout the upcoming week. The weeks leading up to Christmas would see her counterspace lessen on a daily basis, as tins of different types of cookies and pies began to pile up. And the Advent Calendar. We read the same Advent Calendar together every night of Advent for as long as I can remember. I now have the calendar, and we've been reading it with the girls this year.

So, to return to our home on December 21st did not leave me too disappointed. I experienced my family's traditions this year. We picked out a live tree with Nana and Poppa. The girls helped my mom make Christmas cookies. We decorated the house together. And we all read the Advent Calendar together in a hushed silence, every night. These are my Christmas traditions, and I loved sharing them with my whole family.

So, this year we began creating our own Christmas Day traditions. For Christmas Eve dinner, we planned a homemade Italian pasta dinner, followed by Christmas cookies and hot chocolate while watching a Christmas movie. Dave picked up The Polar Express on the way home from work, and I spent all afternoon making manicotti with homemade sauce. It tasted wonderful, but one piece filled up Dave and I. The girls were too tired to try any, still suffering from jet lag. We packed them off to bed at 7:30, with promises that Santa might come early if they went to bed. They were sleeping by the time we finished the final Advent story.

Tomorrow, we'll share Dave's mother's cardamom coffeecake for breakfast; a turkey roasted for us by the kind folks at the Hilton hotel with homemade stuffing, cranberries and potatoes, and a lovely bottle of wine; plenty of hours of playing with toys, and a few hours of cookies, hot chocolate and Christmas movies. Just like the good old days.

And then supper at a local Chinese restaurant.

Family Jet Lag

Dave and I once visited his sister in Vienna. After sitting awake on the airplane all night, we gamely stayed awake all day and laid our heads on our pillows around 8pm that night. Exhausted and sleeping in a dark basement, we both fell sound asleep. And with no clock and no sunlight filtering in, we slept until 4:00 the following afternoon - 8am in our home timezone. We struggled to adjust to Austrian time the rest of the week.

Learning our lessons well, Dave and I have always strive to put ourselves immediately on local time when we travel. However, traveling across 14 hours with young children made this approach impossible. We quickly learned that the way to adjust very young children to jet lag is simply to follow their schedule. When a young child wakes up, wake up with them. When a young child gets sleepy, go to bed with them. The family will have adjusted to local time within 3 days, guaranteed.

It seems we have outgrown this strategy.

We arrived in Chicago the evening before Thanksgiving. We spent Thanksgiving in the midst of a wonderful family gathering, and didn't allow anyone naps. We all fell asleep in the car on the way home that evening, and slept soundly through the night, exhausted. With earlier than average mornings, we had adjusted the local time as quickly as that. We should have followed that example this time, but instead sent everyone to nap yesterday when Sophia got sleepy. We all managed to fall asleep by 3:00 in the afternoon, and could each have kept going well past 5:30 when I woke up.

So, here's the new rule:

For children still napping, and too young to understand that darkness means sleepytime, parents need to follow their lead. As with newborns, sleep when the baby sleeps.

For anyone old enough to push through naptime, place yourself on local time immediately. No naps on that first day back.

Luggage Arrival

The whole house was sound asleep, as well we should have been. Lilly tucked into her bed downstairs, and a sick Sophia snuggled between Dave and I in our bed. So sound asleep that when the doorbell rang, we all panicked. The doorbell rings in our bedroom, with a song that fills the entire house. And so when that song began to play at 1:15 this morning, Dave and I began running around like chickens with our heads cut off. What was that song? Why was it playing so loudly? Why wouldn't it stop?

We finally realized that someone was pressing our doorbell repeatedly, causing the loud music in our sleeping chamber. Dave threw a T-shirt over his boxer shorts and raced downstairs, hoping to stop the noise before it woke the children.

A man stood at the darkened door, and beckoned Dave out into the lane with a luggage tag. In only a T-shirt, boxer shorts, and now tennis shoes, Dave walked down the lane and to the truck sent by the airport which sat parked on the street. The nightime delivery man apparently does not physically carry luggage, but only transports luggage. So, half awake, Dave carried three 50 pound bags down the lane. And then collapsed back in bed, for another 3 hours of sleep.

All of our dirty laundry has arrived, safe and sound.

The Family Returns

After a ridiculously long day yesterday, our family has returned to Shanghai and all managed to stay in bed until 5:30 this morning. Just for fun, allow me to provide you with a run-down of our day yesterday.

7:00am - left Dave's parents' house, right on time
8:00am - Entered the expedited line at O'Hare Airport
Dave has enough frequent flyer miles to be in their Premier Executive class, and supposedly not have to wait in line at the airport. But yesterday, as most of the airports on the East Coast were sitting quietly closed, O'Hare was a mess and we stood in line for an hour.
9:00am - Moving from one line to the next, we stood in line at security for another half an hour.
9:30am - After grabbing a quick few snacks in lieu of breakfast, we boarded the plane immediately.
10:01am - The time the plane was supposed to take off for Shanghai
12:30pm - The time they announced we would be using a different plane for our flight to Shanghai, and asked everyone to deboard.
12:40pm - The time they changed their minds, and decided that this faulty plane would do.
1:00pm - The approximate time we actually left Shanghai, after sitting on the plane for an additional 3 hours. Lucky we had bought those snacks, because this pregnant Mama would have really been a mess by then! Luckily, the girls played like little angels and everything went smoothly.

In fact, most of the flight went smoothly from that point. The girls received children's meals, and they came early each time. The girls played well, although they only slept for about 2 hours each. They spent a lot of time in front of movies, and remained surprisingly happy. I ate well enough, and didn't really begin to feel bad until the last few hours of the flight.

However, something hit Dave about 7 hours into the flight, and he spent the remaining 6.5 hours as curled up in a ball as a 6 foot 3 inch man can manage in Economy Plus. He threw up as the plane was landing, and so felt better as we pulled out children and multitude of stuff through customs and on to baggage claim. Where we only retrieved 5 of our 8 bags. The boxes with Christmas gifts all arrived, so that's good. But all of our clothes presumably stayed in Chicago while we sat on the tarmac for hours. Here's to hoping they arrive in Shanghai this afternoon.

The family went to bed at 6:30 last night, 36 hours by calendar from when our family awoke. Actually, only 22 hours later - but that's an awfully long time for a 3 year old to stay awake. We all crashed until about 1am this morning. But my wonderful children saw the darkness outside, and each managed to fall back asleep with me until 5:30am. Running on a good 11 hours of sleep, the three of us are feeling good. Dave's still upstairs feeling crummy, but the hard part is over. I can abide with a sick husband when we're at home.

All things considered, this time was perfect. We made it to Chicago in time for a huge family Christmas around Dave's grandmother. The girls and I spent the bulk of advent in St. Louis with my family, going to our home church, shopping for Christmas trees and making holiday cookies. We spent time with every aunt and uncle (minus only 1), and we returned to Chicago on the day that Great-Grandma passed away. The entire family was blessfully able to participate in her funeral and burial, and to spend more time with Dave's extended family. The time was a wonderful blessing for our girls, for Dave, and for his mother and family.

And to be honest, I'm glad to be home just now. We've got a few quiet days to adjust to Shanghai time before diving into our own, small Christmas festivities. This will be a year for creating our own family traditions, and enjoying Christmas in our own cozy home. As much as I love a large Christmas, I'm really looking forward to our quiet event.

Randy's Disappearance

Dave has been back in Shanghai for 1 week now. Through that time, he never saw a trace of Randy the Rat. It seems that Randy had ceased his battle, because the heat and the water both continued to work and a person could again walk down the lane without taking their life into their hands. (When I took the girls to school before we left, the Chinese workers in our lane very kindly carried the girls out on their backs.)

Last night, he left a roll sitting on the kitchen counter.

This morning, a whole roll remained on the kitchen counter.

Meanwhile, Dave decorated the house for Christmas this weekend. When he pulled down the box of decorations from a high shelf, he was showered with rat pellets.

At least he wasn't showered with a dead rat!

Peace and Quiet

Sophia and I went for a walk through my parents neighborhood this morning. This same neighborhood is where Dave and I used to live, and we passed Sophia and Lilly's first home. It is an urban neighborhood, in the smaller city of St. Louis.

Sophia asked a question: Why is it so quiet here?

Mommy: Hmm, what sounds are missing?

Sophia: Cars. Lots of cars and bikes.

It may be an urban neighborhood, but its no match for the ceaseless noise and the endless people, cars and bikes of the streets of Shanghai!