Thursday, January 31, 2008

Jet Lag

7:00 am – What am I doing awake at this God-forsaken hour?

My body rarely allows me to function as a sane and pleasant person before 8:30 in the morning, so I only rarely view the world at 7:00.

But then, my family’s bodies seem to believe that airline travel is unnatural. Our bodies collectively agree that a person should not be rewarded with a full night’s sleep after traveling over 9,000 miles in 12 hours.

Let’s run the numbers.

In an average 24 hour period, our family sleeps thus:
L--: about 15 hours
S--: same, about 15 hours
Lynne: about 8 hours
Dave: about 7 hours

Since waking at 10:00am on Thursday morning, January 31st – or over the last 38 hours - our family has slept thus:

L--: about 12 hours
S--: about 11 hours
Dave: about 6 hours
Lynne: about 4 hours

The real trouble is that we are now facing a day where we ought to stay awake entirely. S—woke up at 1:30 this morning and has had a cheerful morning ever since. I fear that she will crash in a few hours, falling so heavily asleep that there will be no possibility of resuscitation. Leading to yet another sleepless night.

So far the jet lag is the only challenge we’ve faced. The flight went well, and landed very close to on time despite the winter weather predicted both in China and in Chicago. We feel quite at home, rather than overwhelmed with culture shock, although I do feel mighty uncomfortable drinking water from the tap. And the yards, empty streets and barren skies of the suburbs look like vast amounts of empty space to me.

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Winter Storm Grips China

Take a look at this report of the winter storm, as written by the Associated Press. Take it with a grain of salt, because Shanghai has only received 1-2 inches rather than the foot reported therein.

Still, certainly thousands of people are stranded and cold without food or transportation. Movement of food supplies was stopped, along with trains, airplanes and car travel in many of these regions. These areas of so far south that they are ill-equipped for any snow, and especially a storm dropping over a foot of snow, if even over a period of 1 week.

Reports say that the weather should remain bad for the next few days.

Weather.com reports that Shanghai should be sunny and in the upper 30s tomorrow with only a 10% chance of precipitation, so our international flight ought to remain unaffected.

Warden Message: Severe Winter Weather

The following is a message I just received from the U.S. Embassy in China.

U.S. citizens are advised that severe winter weather has affected Eastern, Central, and some areas of Southwest China. Snow and ice storms have caused widespread road and rail closures and many flights have been cancelled or delayed. Travelers are experiencing long delays and transportation of food and other supplies has been temporarily stopped. U.S. citizens are encouraged to monitor news and weather reports before traveling to or in China. Even areas of China outside of those receiving heavy snow are affected because of transportation disruptions during this busiest travel season of the year leading up to the celebration of the Lunar New Year next week.

Screw Sentimentality

Writing that last post made me start thinking about all of the things I'm looking forward to in the states. And yeah, seeing friends and family will be great. But oh my gosh, I can't wait to...

- visit restaurants that will provide a functional highchair

- do an entire, full-sized load of laundry in only 2 hours

- feel safe crossing the street

- feel my children are safe riding in a car

- listen to current, uncensored news

- oh my gosh, listen to NPR!

- get a haircut

- visit the library

- visit public parks (I hear the midwest is beautiful this time of year)

- expect a public bathroom to come stocked with toilet paper

And I'm sorry Mom, but I am not washing a single dish while I'm at home. Oh man, that alone sounds like heaven!

What a Whiner

We fly home to tomorrow.

No, that's not right. Shanghai is home right now. We fly to the states tomorrow.

I have so looked forward to this trip.
To being surrounded by family and friends.
To being able to read everything I see.
To being able to talk to anyone I wish.
To being able to understand simple instructions.
To being able to drive.
To having babysitters.
To shopping for clothes.
To eating pizza and cheeseburgers and Mexican food.

But as I'm now so close, I'm feeling overwhelmed.

We will spend no more than a few days in any given place.
We will have precious little time to ourselves.
We will have more people to see than we have time to give.
We will not want to end every single conversation.
We will be exhausted.
Our girls will be surrounded by people who know them, but who they don't remember.
They will be exhausted.

And I don't think I will want to leave again.

Tomorrow we are going home.

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Oh, the Weather Outside is Frightful

People do not visit Shanghai for the weather. Although we do expect April and October to be quite comfortable, weather in Shanghai is otherwise rather crummy. The smog keeps the sun away, dust and particles of debris in the air make most breezes less than palatable, and frequent fog crop the skylines at a cloudy ceiling. Summer is humid, and winter is wet.

The temperature this winter has certainly not dropped below 25 degrees. On the cold days, it hovers around freezing. On the warm days we're in the 50s. The variation in weather is not nearly as dramatic as in America's Mid-West, where temps in the month of January can vacillate between 5 and 50 degrees Fahrenheit.

I suppose I've just learned how to handle a cold, dry winter in the Midwest. Wear a warm coat and warm up your car before you go anywhere. If you'll play in the snow, wear thick jeans and waterproof gloves.

I am still learning how to handle the damp winters of Shanghai. Without a car, most days require at least a 20 minute walk. The damp cold does not feel as bad upon first blast, but quickly seeps into every un-layered surface filling your toes and your neck and your knees with a chill that does not quickly go away. On top of this, the damp frequently turns into rain. Or this week, slush and then snow.

Snow I can handle. But I seem to be one of few in this city. We've heard that the 2 inches of snow that fell over the last few days is the most snow this city has seen in over 20 years. On Sunday, the snow combined with rain. On Monday, sleet landed on the already slick streets and later turned into a very wet and heavy snow. I have yet to see any salt or sand on the ground to add traction, although our management company has placed reed mats on the driveways and bridges. These are surprisingly durable and not at all slippery. I've only seen one person shoveling snow, and he shoveled it from his building's front landing onto the sidewalk in front of the building, often throwing snow directly on top of people walking down the sidewalk.

But it seems that for the most part, people just stayed inside. Through the rain, the sleet and the snow, the sidewalks remained empty. Some markets stayed open, but most roadside food stalls packed up and went home. Friends canceled plans because they would not brave the roads. Still with no car and car seats, I was among them, as I was unwilling to carry my girls without car seats when none of the drivers had experience driving on snow.

Its amusing to compare this to America. In cities where it only snows every 20 years, everything grinds to a halt for an inch of snow. Cities like Atlanta cancel school and warm up their few salt trucks for a busy day. Only in cities where snow happens frequently does life go on as normal. But Shanghai, little stops progress. People with little experience driving cars at all, were zooming down slick streets at full speed. No one considered canceling school. And when I woke up this morning to a warmer, brighter day I saw at least 20 snowmen on our morning walk.

Conversation with Lucy

Lucy is a fellow expat mom from Australia. Her son is about 16 months old. We were discussing 1st birthdays.

Lucy: So for their 1st birthdays, did you do the bit where everyone stands around and watches the baby eat some cake?

Lynne: Yeah. I never really thought about it in those terms, but... yeah, that's what we did.

Sunday, January 27, 2008

Soundtrack

Sometimes I'll watch a movie and think,

wouldn't life be more poignant if I had a soundtrack?

Where I now live, I am so lucky as to have my management company provide my evenings with a soundtrack, at no extra charge. They pipe music over the grounds through small speakers painted green to blend in with the grass.

Unfortunately, my management company doesn't seem quite in-tune with my inner moods. As I walked to the grocery store this evening, they played Richard Marx' Right Here Waiting. The evening was dark and rain drizzled lightly. The streetlights sparkled sadly in the thin puddles.

But I just didn't feel sad.

I felt like a bad actor, unable to play the appropriate character. Clearly, at this point in the movie something sad has happened and I'm walking with a tear in my eye. But no, I really was just off to the convenience store for some milk.

As I left, it fit my mood no better. A classical song that I can not place had been polka-cized, and then pop-ified. Now I felt as if I should jump and skip, possibly race to finish a project in record speed.

If they were a bit more in tune with my emotions, though, the soundtrack would be a pretty sweet benefit.

Friday, January 25, 2008

Malar

One of the great joys of living abroad is all of the people we meet. Dave gets to work with an office full of Chinese people who all speak good English. He enjoys evenings out with them, business lunches at local restaurants and casual conversation. We're hoping to get invited to a wedding before we move as well.

My circle does not introduce me to as many different cultures. I mainly meet other mothers, and those all are people who speak English. It seems that women who spend their time with other English speakers are primarily from western countries. If from Asia, they are from Singapore, Japan or Hong Kong. Apart from Japan, these places are not so different from life in the states.

But I have really enjoyed developing a friendship with Malar. She lives in out complex, having moved in a few weeks after we did. He son is a few months older than L--, and her daughter is 6 months old. She moved here from Southern India. And although I feel I have quite a bit in common with her, and we easily have casual conversation together, I love to discuss how different our cultures are as well. Some of the more interesting differences we've enjoyed talking about:

- Her marriage was arranged, and she feels quite happy with that choice.

- Children in India begin school at 2 1/2. And this is real school, learning to write and sitting still in desks.

- Visiting America requires use of a car, or that the people you visit take time off to show you around. But it is also very child-friendly, with high chairs at every restaurant and changing tables in every public bathroom.

- Like in China, Indian parents begin potty training their children immediately and do not use diapers.

I could make a longer list, but it is not necessary. Today, she fixed a quick lunch for me. I am horrible in that I can not remember names of anything she prepared, but I can describe. And everything was wonderful - I am now intimidated to fix a meal for her! She served a small dish of chicken curry - at 1/5 of the standard level of spice, it was nearly too hot for me. This I was to pour on top of a dish much like a flatbread except it was made from rice and lentils. I ate two, and the girls ate another - it was fantastic. I told her that she's started a bad trend - I may join her for lunch every day!

I also mentioned to her the possibility of our moving to India when we finish in China. I loved her response. She told me that she would help me as much as she could, and that I would love India. Then she backed up, and made sure I knew how difficult life is in India. The roads are very bad. The traffic is horrible. Customer service does not exist. But, she went on, everything is so inexpensive that we will live like kings and queens. And even better, she said that Indians are quite friendly and helpful. And I figure that if everyone speaks English, I'm alraedy miles ahead of where I am now! She's gotten me quite excited at the prospect.

Thursday, January 24, 2008

Guest Blog: Karaoke

The Japanese invented karaoke some 20-odd years ago. In the years since, it has grown into the default form of entertainment for people of any age throughout most of Asia. Tonight, I had my first experience with this distinctly Asian phenomenon.

Of course, karaoke exists in the US - it even made a pretty great movie a while back. But it is nothing like karaoke in Asia.

First, the venue is not a bar, bowling alley, or other general entertainment area. Rather, huge buildings house room after room which can be reserved for a private group of friends to perform in. To give some picture of the scale and popularity: our room number was 392 tonight, and it was a struggle to get a room on a Wednesday night – we had no chance for a Friday night with only one week’s notice.

The room has a couch and low tables, and, depending on the size, maybe some stools and high tables. The central feature is a “performance seat” which we hardly ever used. There is a small screen in front of the performance seat, but there are two larger screens on each side of it facing the “audience”, and these screens run lyrics. In our crowd, the performer were generally just part of the audience.

In fact, the word “audience” is somewhat interesting, because most of the time the group is just hanging out and chatting, and not paying much attention to the singer holding the microphone. Of course, when the laowei (foreigner) performs, everyone pays attention.

For those who have had the misfortune of hearing me sing, you know it is not a pretty sound. But this crowd didn’t care – despite the fact that nearly all sounded quite good on most of their selections, the quality was not the point. It was just about having fun. So I butchered a few songs from the list of Western songs (the Beatles, Nirvana, and the Eagles). My coworkers sang mostly Chinese pop songs. All in all, it was a surprisingly fun way to hang out with a group of friends and let my guard down. I highly recommend the experience to anyone, even if I don’t plan to make it a regular feature on my own social calendar.

Sunday, January 20, 2008

Weddings

Our family joined one of Dave's friends from work for dinner on Saturday night. Mark and his wife met us at Super Brand Mall to eat at Banana Leaf. These were very Chinese experiences in themselves. Banana Leaf is a Thai restaurant with Chinese characteristics. Just as Mexican or Italien food are more American when served at restaurants in the United States, this Thai food was more Chinese was served at a large mall.

We had plenty of interesting conversation around the table, but I learned the most from discussing marriage traditions with Mark's girlfriend. Apparently, a couple gets married up to a year before throwing their wedding. There is no ceremony. The couple goes to the appropriate administration building and gets their marriage certificate. That's it. Once they've announced that they're married, they begin to plan their wedding, which is really just a reception.

I described that in the U.S., a couple becomes engaged around a year before they actually get married. This is supposed to be a time of preparation for marriage, but also has become time to plan a wedding. This seemed absurd to our Chinese friends.

They asked if the government adds any legitimacy to a marriage, so we described how a marriage certificate works. In our experience, we applied for a marriage certificate a few days before our wedding. Then, immediately after the ceremony, our marriage certificate was signed by both Dave and I, the officiant and two witnesses. Our Chinese friends thought this was overkill. They asked who the witnesses are, and I explained that they could be anybody. Two strangers would do. This now seemed quite absurd.

Dave works with many people younger than us, and I do hope that we will be invited to a wedding before we leave.

Saturday, January 19, 2008

Steady Improvement

When we arrived back in Shanghai after our travels in December, I had a few plans for improvement. You could call them resolutions. One of them was to talk to another adult every day, and that seems not only to have made life better on a daily basis but also to have increased the number of friends I have.

Which led to a lovely playgroup at our apartment yesterday. One which I intend to repeat every week. I've never been a routine person, but knowing that I have friends coming over at least once a week for the foreseeable future makes me feel very good.

And the crowd was really wonderful.

We had children ranging from 2 months old to 2 years, 4 months. Most of the kids were between 12 and 16 months old.

We had one mom each from Malaysia, Australia, Hong Kong, New Zealand, Korea, Germany, India and the states. Moms from Mexico, Peru and Singapore were unable to attend this week.

People brought snacks to share, and the kids downed them all.

I set out clothes and overstock items I didn't want in my closet any longer, and nearly everything disappeared.

Overall it was a fabulous afternoon, giving me a wonderful confidence boost and fully convincing me that there are some really interesting women living quite close to me with whom I will really enjoy developing friendships over the next few years. It'll be interesting to see how things change as everyone sends their kids to school.

And by everyone, I mean everyone except me.

Thursday, January 17, 2008

Damn Cheap Labor

We've faced some of the same problems with our apartment since we moved in. The kitchen faucet sprays uncontrollably. The dining room lights burn out within a week's time. The heaters work too well. The dryer doesn't work well enough.

We were speaking with our manager about this for a while. I dealt with them into December, leading to some of the very bad days that faithful readers may remember. Then we travelled, and upon my return I decided that I could live with a few bumps in my home. I decided to overlook.

But then I changed my mind.

As I read an advertisement for a luxury apartment in Manhattan, offering many of the same amenities as my complex, and charging about the same rent, I realized something. I realized that for the money being paid to my landlord, I should have a working apartment. If I would repair these things for my tenants in St. Louis, paying $500 a month in rent; then my landlord ought to repair these things for me, paying quite a bit more than $500 a month.

I began the fight once again.

The repairmen came late. Then they had to return. Then they came early. Then they didn't have working supplies. When they returned, everything worked correctly. What's the problem?

And not speaking Chinese, I feel impotent facing the workmen sent to fix these problems. I can't tell them what to do, when to come back or how frustrated I am with the whole problem.

But I've realized what the crux of the matter is. In a land where labor is cheap, the landlord will pay to repair things that I would never dream of repairing in the states. I've not had anything repaired in years. Microwave broken? Toss it out and get a new one. Light fixture blinky? Replace it. Because in the U.S., it really does cost more to fix it than to replace it.

Unfortunately for me, the efficient American tenant, this is not the case in China. I'm beginning to think they will fix things 100 times rather than replace anything.

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Groceries

In the states, Dave and I always lived fastidiously by a budget. We allotted a certain amount for groceries, a certain amount for clothes and a certain amount for recreation. This because without guidelines, we would be maniacal spendthrifts.

Here, we have no budget. Partly due to the cash society prevalent in China and partly due to our lack of knowledge about prices on things we need. So we try to be sensible about our purchases. We live thriftily, but we allow ourselves some leeway in spending on travel and food.

I did my grocery shopping for the week. Traditionally, we keep our kitchen stocked with a few necessities and pick 2-3 recipes to fix for the week. Following that notion, I made my grocery list. The girls and I went first to the local wet market. This evening, I filled the gaps with a trip to the import grocery. All prices are listed in dollars.

Wet Market
6 bananas
4 oranges
1 container blueberries
1 can kidney beans
1 bottle ketchup
2 bell peppers
2 red onions
2 large sweet potatos
Total: $3

Import Grocery Store
4 cans Campbells Chunky soup - $22
1 box Special K - $9
1 dozen eggs - $1.50
1/2 pound ground beef - $2
small container cottage cheese - $3.50
2 zucchini - $1
4 cans ginger ale - $2
6 containers yogurt - $15
1 bag Goldfish crackers - $3
2 cup bag Mozzarella - $7
block of Parmesan - $10
Total: $100

Monday, January 14, 2008

For the Right Price

They say you can get anything you want in Shanghai, for a price. The people in Shanghai are both enterprising and entrepreneurial.

But, as we're learning now, you must be quite clear as to what exactly you are buying.

We asked our regular driver if we could hire his car exclusively, beginning in March. He agreed, and today brought me an agreeement of terms. His price was fantastic, so we worried that the deal was too good to be true. It was - he agreed to hire his car exclusively to us, but with another driver. Another driver who speaks no English. We agreed, on the condition that the girls and I like the furnished driver.

Likewise, our rent covers our apartment and everything in it. But it does not seem to cover repairs. Of course, like in the states, a landlord is responsible for all repairs in an apartment. But we've now been missing 4 out of 6 lights in our dining room for nearly 2 months. Our kitchen faucet has sprayed water in unnecessary directions since we moved in. And now we are receiving notices that the television, telephone and clubhouse bills have gone unpaid - all the responsibility of the landlord. Sure, a very nice apartment can be rented for the right price. But it seems to take more than cash to keep it in good condition.

Sunday, January 13, 2008

How Hard It Is

We made it to church again today. Sadly, this is only the 2nd time we've sat through an entire church service the whole time we've lived in Shanghai.

We have good excuses:

1: There are only 3 protestant churches.
2: Each of these churches is a 30-60 minute taxi ride from our home.
3: Most of the services do not provide child care.
4: Most of the services are during naptime.

Today, we chose the 30 minute drive that does provide child care at the end of nap time. And, to our great surprise, it worked quite well. The girls joined us during worship and became comfortable with the environment, so that the transition into the nursery was relatively smooth. I sat with them for a bit to keep them comfortable, but the crying was gracefully minimal when I disappeared.

I stepped back into the service to listen to a wonderful guest speaker. He was a gifted storyteller and his sermon was quite good. I am resisting the urge to retell all of his strong points. But one did make an impression on me.

He compared King David and King Solomon, in an example of how its important to follow God with both your heart and your mind. King David followed God with his heart, but neglected being thoughtful and wound up making tragic mistakes. King Solomon followed God with his mind, but wound up distant from faith with fateful consequences as well. King Solomon who, when called upon to lead Israel, cried out to God that he needed wisdom. And God granted him that wisdom. And Solomon led a wondrously prosperous nation.

And he wondered to us. How many people would say to God, I would be closer to you if you would just remove these obstacles. For God could point to Solomon and say, I removed all of his. And still...

I'm no Bible scholar and so will take the illustration at face value. Which goes straight to my situation. We would be involved in a church, if only there weren't so many obstacles. Today we ignored those obstacles, planned ahead a bit, and each of us had a wonderful experience.

Saturday, January 12, 2008

Resolutions

While away on holiday, Dave and I had plenty of time to discuss how difficult life in Shanghai had become for me. We talked until we could isolate the problems, and then we brainstormed a few solutions. I'm not much for New Year's Resolutions, but considering the time of year these were made, I suppose we could call them that.

Problem #1: Getting Around
Traffic in this town is chaotic at best. The taxis have no seat belts, which means they certainly have no car seats. We chose housing in a grassy, open area, which means that we are at least a 20 minute walk from anywhere we may need to go. Furthermore, we chose housing in a neighborhood that is not traditionally Western, which means we have a 15-45 minute drive to many of the places we would like to go. Our walk to the Metro stop is 20 minutes, leading to 1 hour commutes whenever we choose to travel by subway. All of these led to a sense of isolation and desparation

Solution: Hire a driver
We're working with our occasioal driver to provide us with a vehicle and driver at excxlusively our disposal 6 days a week. He's giving us a wonderful deal, and our new driver will start on March 1.

Problem #2: Too much to do
Getting out the door with 2 young kids was hard enough in the states. But here I need to wash all of the dishes before we leave the house. Paying the bills requires a bit of a walk, as does buying groceries. Anything that requires working together with someone unaccustomed to Westerners takes much longer than it would at home. The time it takes me simply to run the household fills up most of our days, making it quite difficult to even get out of the house in the morning. Coupled with the challenges of getting around, this further led to a sense of isolation.

Solution: Hire an ayi
We are corresponding with a wonderful woman who will work for us if she is able to find suitable housing in Shanghai. We hope and pray that she finds what she needs, because we feel confident that Wei working for us would make a world of difference.

Problem #3: Early Schooling
Children in Shanghai begin attending school at 18 months old. Expats have grasped onto this whole-heartedly. I had no intention of putting L-- into school until this fall when she turns 3, and then only 3 mornings per week. To oversimplify, I feel that a young child benefits strongly from being very near the center of their caregiver's world. I feel that my child is too young to be one of 24 students in a classroom every day. But no one else agrees with me, and L-- has precious few playmates anywhere near her age.

Solution:
Unfortunately, I haven't found one yet. And what's worse, I will face this problem again next year when L-- begins school and S-- turns 2. All of the kids in our playgroup now, of which S-- is currently one of the youngest, will be gone.




Problem #4: No friends
I don't have any friends. This problem is compounded by the fact that moms put their children in school at 15 months old. Many of those with younger children are quite happy to leave them with the ayi for frequent social gatherings.


Solution:
Join the American Women's Club, find babysitting once a week, and talk to someone every day.
This is the problem that is already well on its way to being forgotten. The women who came over yesterday with their children for playgroups are full-time moms. They have only part-time ayis. And although their children will be in school by the time they're 2, most of them will only be in school part-time. And I haven't even joined the AWC yet. I do still plan to do so, both to expand my social network and to take advantage of the many interesting programs they offer. I think that leaving the girls with an ayi or babysitters one morning or afternoon a week will help me to keep a sense of who I am as an individual, as well as help me to explore and enjoy this city.

As I look at my challenges in writing, they do seem rather difficult. And that one gaping hole with no solution still worries me. But that things are already improving so much is quite comforting, and I know that with the driver and ayi on hand it will only get better.

A Sporting Crew

Dave works with a fairly young crew. Mostly single, well educated, well paid twenty somethings who enjoy both life in the city and each other's company. Today the group planned some organized exercise and invited us to join them.

They had reserved two badmittons courts at a gym in Pudong. This fact alone is novel in my mind. You had to reserve badmitton courts? What, because other people might be playing on them?

But yes, that is exactly why. In fact, of all of the sporting facilities in our complex - tennis, swimming, squash, aerobics, golf, etc. - badmitton is the only court which is consistently booked. So yes, they reserved two badmitton courts. And we took the girls to join in a badmitton morning.

This after Dave and a neighbor began their morning playing squash for an hour. More specifically, the dads played squash while the moms and the young children sat outside and chatted. Our main focus was on keeping the kids outside of the squash court and away from small, rapidly flying rubber balls. By comparison to squash, badmitton seemed all the more simple. There was not even a ball.

Now, my American perspective is that, well, nobody plays badmitton. They sell the sets next to the croquet and the bocce ball at Target. Families buy them when they're hosting large picnics, and crews of 8 year old boys may play for a few minutes. But groups of adults do not wait in line for badmitton, and they certainly do not own their own rackets. Unless they came with the set they bought at Target when they hosted the family reunion.

The Chinese love badmitton. They take the game rather seriously, and they play it rather well. And, as it turns out, badmitton is a pretty fun game. Speaking as a girl who never became an athlete because of an inborn propensity to close my eyes whenever a ball flies toward me, the shuttlecock is right up my alley.

Dave's coworkers are a very welcoming crew, and happily played at our level. They made me feel a part of their group, and helped me to enjoy my first attempt at badmitton. After everyone tired of badmitton, they migrated toward the ping pong table. This is another sport that Americans laugh about and Chinese people take quite seriously. Dave was proud to hold his own against a Chinese opponent - everyone was impressed.

The girls enjoyed Dave's coworkers as much as ever. I rarely saw S--, as she placed herself in other people's arms the entire time. And L-- did her best to learn badmitton by carrying a racket and shuttlecock around the gym. She even learned how to say badmitton in Chinese - and her tonal pronunciation is much better than mine.

Friday, January 11, 2008

What We've Been Reading

I'm way behind on book reports, but have read some wonderful books on China over the last few months and will share a brief review of each so you can add them to you Wish Lists.

China Road by Rob Gifford
A self-confessed NPR junkie, I bought the book after hearing Rob Gifford discuss it on the Diane Rheme show. That I had listened to his original reports on NPR as he crossed China in preparation for the book piqued my interest, but his conversation with Diane at a time when I was preparing to move to Shanghai myself sent me to the bookstore that very day.
At the end of his time living in Beijing and covering China for NPR, Gifford elected to make a cross-country trip as his farewell to the nation. Reviews in China have said that he talked to peasants and many of the interesting people in China, rather than spending all of his time with the newly rich and the expatriates. His conversations with people were enlightening and personal, making the Chinese seem not so different from ourselves. His tangents on Confucianism, Mao and the future of quickly-growing China are all thought provoking, placing the current Chinese scenario in its context. But they are also well placed among well written prose and good-old story telling. When I finshed the book, I felt as if I had just sat down to dinner with Rob and listened to him tell me his stories and his opinions. I liked it so much, I chose to read it again. This is rare in my library. For those at all interested in China, China Road is a must read.

The Good Earth, by Pearl S. Buck
I give Rob Gifford credit for describing the peasants of rural China as ordinary people to whom a westerner could relate. But I must give credit where credit is due. The Good Earth earned Pearl S. Buck her fabulous, and well-deserved reputation for writing about peasants in China, living lives far different from those in the United States. And yet reading this book, I could understand how they felt and how they made the choices they did. I could place myself into those vastly different lives and get a glimpse of life as a peasant in rural China at the turn of the century. Good story? Check. Good writing? Check. And I don't read for symbolism, although I know this book is chock full of it. But just that I could identify with someone whose life so vastly differed from mine felt good, and I (along with the Nobel Institute) give Pearl S. Buck loads of credit for that.



River Town by Peter Hessler
I'm only just into this book. Hessler wrote a memoire of his time as a Peace Corps volunteer in one of China's lesser known but still very large cities, far west in Sichuan province. His experience was much more extreme than ours - he and his compatriate were the only two foreigners in their town and were left entirely on their own to speak English and figure out how to maneuver their newly Chinese lives. As far as I am in the book, I am identifying with his struggles with pollution, noise and the learning to speak and understand Chinese. And my challenges pale in comparison to those he faced, which is comforting. Hessler is a good writer, painting a compelling and certainly factual picture of China in the mid-90s, and I find it interesting to note the changes and similarities between both his time period and mine, and his city and mine. If you love a good memoire, good travel writing, or just good writing, I highly recommend River Town.

Thursday, January 10, 2008

Culinary End-Point

After researching Worchestershire Sauce, I set out this afternoon to find soy sauce. In Asia, this didn't take long. I went to our local wet market and bought the first bottle I saw with English writing - Premium Soy Sauce. How much? Seven quai. This is a large bottle of soy sauce, and I paid $1 USD for it.
So now I'm thinking this wet market is a pretty good deal. What else can I buy?
I found all of the vegetables for dinner tonight and tomorrow night at 2 other stands. The first woman sold me a decent sized bag full of veggies, and I tried to pay her 10 times what she asked. The second woman asked for 6 jaio - that's about half of 1 quai. This pepper would cost around $1 in the states, but at the wet market I paid the equivalent to about 7 American cents. I'm sold.
The dinner turned out quite well. I substituted soy sauce with lots of extra pepper for Worchestershire, per the internet's recommendation. I substituted dried sage for fresh thyme, based entirely on Simon & Garfunkel's reference: parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme. I didn't measure anything. And it turned out fine - in fact, really very good.
I built my confidence as a cook in the states over the last year or so. Moving to China tore it down, as a Chinese stove cooks so hot that I could no longer even manage a good grilled cheese sandwich. This week, after successful meals two nights and running, my level of confidence is on the rise once again.

Wednesday, January 09, 2008

Culinary Lesson

For dinner this evening, I planned to make our favorite dish. Its the ultimate in comfort food - a bowl of creamy, slightly cheesey mashed potatoes with peppers and steak folded in. Its fantastic, and we even fight over the leftovers. This will be my first attempt at this dish in Shanghai, but today has been a confidence-building day so I went to the grocery store assured that I could find everything I need.

Sirloin?
Check

Scallions?
Check

Sharp cheddar?
Check

Worchestershire Sauce?
Nope

Who would have thought? I figured that this most British of sauces would be anywhere that had ever been colonized, and certainly in any Western food store.

But no. None of the employees were familiar, and I scanned every shelf in the store to no avail.

I came home and went directly to the internet. Living in this backwater, I thought, I must figure everything out for myself. There must be some substitute for worchestershire that can be found in this God-forsaken city.

Actually, I kind of wrote that to be dramatic. It has been a really good day, and God-saken never crossed my mind.

Turns out, Worchestershire is of Asian origins and probably wasn't at the store because its ingredients were instead. A little lesson on Worchestershire:

What is now called “Worcestershire Sauce” owes its origin to British imperialism and its colonization of India. Despite its English-sounding name, Worcestershire sauce was originally an Indian recipe. It was brought back to Britain in 1835 by Lord Marcus Sandys, the ex-governor of Bengal. The sauce has as one of its basic ingredients the Indian spice called tamarind.
Tamarind is a seed whose taste combines the sweet with the sour. Traditional Worcestershire Sauce combines tamarind and soy sauce, with a little cinnamon and cloves.
Asian markets sell tamarind paste. Home-made Worcestershire Sauce combines the tamarind paste with soy sauce, and it includes small amounts of cinnamon, cloves, allspice, lemon grass and ground cardamom.


So, as Asian markets abound in our neighborhood and soy sauce is readily available, we should have no trouble fixing our favorite dish. And I should think twice before complaining about the availability of the products I rely upon.

Monday, January 07, 2008

A Good Day

I often post when I'm frustrated, or when we've done something particularly interesting. Too rarely, after a good day I just go to bed glowing.

Today was a good day.

All three of us woke up at a good time - not too early, and not too late.

I found my watch, which L-- misplaced for me this weekend.

Everyone pooped solid; big news, since most of us have suffered from Montezuma's Revenge since returning from Indonesia.

We left the house, riding with our occasional driver to Carrefour to load up on basics.

Carrefour - which can be horribly full and intimidating - was neither.

Our occasional driver agreed to be our full-time driver beginning in March, at an entirely agreeable rate.

We returned home before the girls got too hungry.

We went down for naps before the girls got too grumpy.

They napped long enough for me to get something accomplished besides dish washing.

We ate dinner before the girls got too hungry.

We went to bed after they got sleepy but before they got too tired.

It's 9:00 in the evening, and I've got the entire evening to myself.

Sunday, January 06, 2008

The Nanny Diaries

As the new boss, Dave's gone to Beijing for a few days. The girls and I are on our officially on our own in this big city until late Tuesday night. And so, I did what I always do when Dave's out of town. I watched a movie I know he wouldn't like.

This time I chose The Nanny Diaries. The movie kept to the basic storyline and moral of the book, which I read and enjoyed. And so, even though the quality of the film was less than stellar, I enjoyed my evening with Scarlett Johansson, Laura Linney and some imported macaroni and cheese.

The thing that struck me the most about the movie, told by the nanny to an Upper East Side, Manhattan dysfunctional family, was the similarities between life on the Upper East Side and expatriate life in Shanghai. Now, I imagine that these men in New York earn significant amounts more money and that these women spend multiple times more than the women I am chumming around with. Still, the similarities were jarring.

In both places,
- unemployed women carry business cards
- nameless nannies / ayis care for their children 40 hours a week to round-the-clock so the mothers can have some "me time"
- mothers spend their time at parenting classes, and sign their nannies / ayis up for skill classes as well, communicating with your ayi, western cooking for ayis, first aid for ayis
- ayis / nannies are regularly fired on a whim and at a moment's notice
- in otherwise luxurious homes, live-in ayis / nannies sleep in shockingly small quarters
- mothers concentrate on feeding their children the healthiest possible food, organic, gluten-free, and this is certainly more difficult in Shanghai than in Manhattan
- nannies / ayis accompany the family on "family vacations" where parents spend precious little time with their children

I am not, by nature, a rich person. In fact, the very concept grates against me. I'm a Johnson County girl, who never fit in. I remember sitting at a table in art class, seventh grade, when a nameless girl made fun of me for having no clothes from the Gap. You mean, you've never even been inside Banana Republic? Are you hearing this? she says to her friend behind her. Where do you shop, then? As a direct result, I revel in shopping at Old Navy and Target.

And here I am considering having business cards printed, surrounded by women who meet for lunch and plan charity benefits while their ayis care for their children, planning my next trip through Asia and interviewing for both an ayi and a driver.

Thursday, January 03, 2008

Holiday posting

I've just posted our trip to Singapore and Bali, again backdated. Begin on Sunday, December 23rd to read them in order. Unfortunately, blogspot wouldn't allow me to post pictures so you'll just have to use your imagination.

Also, it has come to my attention that we have some new readers and a few of my habits need explanations:

1: L-- and S-- are my daughters. L-- is 2 years old, and S-- just turned 1.

2: I do not post pictures of them or mention their first or last names because I'm a paranoid mother and prefer to keep them annonymous. I do share photos of them every 2 months or so with family and friends. Let me know if you'd like to be added to the list.

3: Uncle H-- is Dave's employer. Again, I don't mention the company directly so that I don't cause any trouble for Dave when I say things that the PR department may not approve of.

If anything else is unclear, please let me know and I'll be happy to clarify. Thanks for reading!

Wednesday, January 02, 2008

Shopping in Bangkok

I'm not a big shopper.

But I am, as it turns out, a sucker for a great skirt.

Now, I'm not talking Runway-Great or Name-Brand-Great. I mean a skirt that makes my body look fantastic.

Flare skirts made their way back in style during pregnancy #1, and lasted through pregnancy #2. But now I'm seeing "pencil" in the magazines again and I'm beginning to worry.

But in Bangkok, those women have it right. Loads of women showed off their thin waists and their curves in short flare skirts. With fantastic little boutiques in the markets and with beautiful pieces at amazing prices (and I'm talking Old-Navy-Amazing, not Designer-Discount-Amazing), I marched right along with them.

I didn't fall in love with Bangkok while there, but now I'm itching to go back for a weekend of shopping.

Our First Guest

Our first guest departed this afternoon.

Our Friend Brad stayed with us from December 27 - January 2.

He was the perfect guest - when we arrived home on the morning of the 1st, we couldn't even tell for certain that he had arrived. He left no mess in his wake, he ate what we placed before him, he helped clean up after meals and he played with the girls for hours.

We all really enjoyed the chance to catch up with a good friend. A friend who has other connections in Shanghai, and has been traveling here twice a year for the past two years. He plans to continue this pattern, and we look forward to hosting him again this summer.

Talking to Our Friend Brad provided me with some comfort. Most of the things which bother me about Shanghai, bothered him immediately as well. Of course, he found them minor annoyances as compared to my deep frustration. Still, that someone else - and someone as laid back as Our Friend Brad - noticed, made me feel less unreasonable.

He played with the girls while I cleaned up after breakfast. He went to lunch with a friend, and returned as I was cleaning up from lunch. He paused for a moment, and then said
Wow, you have to do this after every meal, don't you?

His visit reinforced in me that I crave human interaction. It also reinforced that we would love to host visitors. Our apartment is plenty big and our girls proved wonderful hostesses. You'll have to ask Our Friend Brad about Dave's and my quality, but I get the impression he left with no complaint. Examine your calendars and your bank accounts - we look forward to hosting you soon!

And by way of explanation, we introduced Our Friend Brad to L-- in just those terms:

L--, this is our friend Brad.

She called him Our Friend Brad the whole time.

The Woman of My Dreams

I just met the woman of my dreams.

She is a Chinese woman from Hangzhou, a smaller city about 2 hours west of Shanghai, and recently named the most beautiful city in China by the national government. She is 35 years old and both reads and writes English, as well as speaking quite well. She likes both of my kids, and they both like her. She seems quite smart and gave background on Chinese pictures on our wall and the poetry they referred to.

And she wants to work for us.

I mentioned a few months ago that I have decided to hire an ayi, someone to clean, help me shop, and make Shanghai a much easier place to live. We decided to put this off until March, because we spent more of December out of town than in. We will be here for all of January, but away all of February. And for Chinese New Year in February, it is customary to pay your ayi double their monthly salary, much akin to a Christmas bonus in the states. So, had we hired someone at the beginning of December, we would have paid 4 months salary for 6 weeks of work.

Our friend Brad connected us to this woman, and we met her this week. She has obstacles to overcome if she will help us, so this is no guarantee. But for my sake, I hope she will make the move!

Tuesday, January 01, 2008

Home Sweet Home

Just a quick note to let everyone know that we've made it home. And after 12 hours en route overnight, and arriving in the wet, cold Shanghai winter from the tropics, stepping into our warm living room with the Christmas tree lit and cookies waiting in the kitchen did feel like home. Even more so as we gathered on our soft rug and watched the girls open piles of presents.

Details on the trip to come. But we're back now for the next month, and our schedule is quite open for Skyping.