Sunday, January 20, 2008

Weddings

Our family joined one of Dave's friends from work for dinner on Saturday night. Mark and his wife met us at Super Brand Mall to eat at Banana Leaf. These were very Chinese experiences in themselves. Banana Leaf is a Thai restaurant with Chinese characteristics. Just as Mexican or Italien food are more American when served at restaurants in the United States, this Thai food was more Chinese was served at a large mall.

We had plenty of interesting conversation around the table, but I learned the most from discussing marriage traditions with Mark's girlfriend. Apparently, a couple gets married up to a year before throwing their wedding. There is no ceremony. The couple goes to the appropriate administration building and gets their marriage certificate. That's it. Once they've announced that they're married, they begin to plan their wedding, which is really just a reception.

I described that in the U.S., a couple becomes engaged around a year before they actually get married. This is supposed to be a time of preparation for marriage, but also has become time to plan a wedding. This seemed absurd to our Chinese friends.

They asked if the government adds any legitimacy to a marriage, so we described how a marriage certificate works. In our experience, we applied for a marriage certificate a few days before our wedding. Then, immediately after the ceremony, our marriage certificate was signed by both Dave and I, the officiant and two witnesses. Our Chinese friends thought this was overkill. They asked who the witnesses are, and I explained that they could be anybody. Two strangers would do. This now seemed quite absurd.

Dave works with many people younger than us, and I do hope that we will be invited to a wedding before we leave.

No comments: