For readers not in the know, Wendy is our housekeeper, or ayi. She is Chinese and hails from Nanjing. Her husband is Shanghainese, and she often describes him as "horrible" or "very horrible." I feel comfortable writing about her because I am quite confident that none of her friends or family read this blog. Further, because Wendy is not her real name, but only her English name. She speaks wonderful English.
Bank of China
Adam asked Wendy last week whether or not the Bank of China is owned by the Chinese government. After a surprisingly long conversation to define the word "government," she confirmed that it is. The Bank of China is not privately owned, and thank goodness for that, she said.
As recent as the 1960s, the Chinese government has seized people's assets for no other reason than because they had a capitalist attitude. Most of our cash holdings lie in Chinese Yuan (RMB) in the Bank of China at this time - Dave's choice, because the RMB holds artificially stable, and because the dollar is falling against it at a faster rate than the growth rate of most US savings accounts. Still, we are American capitalists and I (the reactionary that I am) fear that the government will not allow us to take our money without a fight.
I told her in much fewer words, that a public bank makes me nervous. She laughed, and said that a private bank makes her nervous. Apparently, something akin to private banks here have opened, only to have the company accept deposits and then close their doors and walk with the people's money. I explained to her the public insurance system of FDIC in the US, which she found surprising and probably quite expensive. Either way, she was quite sure that no such system exists within China and felt much safer with the government owning all of the banks. Quite a different perspective from the debates over the US banking bail-out last fall!
Tap Water
Wendy asked me yesterday why we never drink the water from the tap. Under instructions from our doctors, our friends, and our guidebooks, we never drink tap water within China. We only rarely cook with it. My understanding is that the water purification system for the city of Shanghai is actually quite modern (unlike in most cities in China), but that the pipes are not. So, the water does not carry any sort of bacteria and will not make a person feel ill immediately. But the water does leech lead and other dangerous minerals off of the water pipes. I wonder at the levels of lead poisoning within China, and I worry about my children's levels after living here for 3 years.
Keeping it simple (her English is only so good), I explained the problem with the pipes. She countered that this was not such a problem. That she has heard too many stories about people buying bottled water that was very bad. Although she does drink out of the bottle at our home, she says that bottled water scares her much more than that from the tap. And further, that no doctor has ever told her to the public water could be dangerous.
Of course, her doctor also prescribed antibiotics and an IV on a nearly daily basis when her daughter had the flu, while mine told me not to call him until at least day 10 of the runny nose and cough.
Spanking and Beating
I am blessed to have well behaved children. But when Lilly loses control, she loses it completely and I have yet to find an effective form of discipline. Wendy, along with many others, suggested spanking. Well, she suggested beating. She "beats" her daughter, and says that it works very well. After a bit of discussion, we determined that she only spanks her daughter - aiming only for the hip - and would never otherwise try to hurt the child.
I told her to use the word "spanking" instead of the word "beating." I explained that beating is hurting someone very badly, like in a fight. Beating a child is irresponsible and not acceptable. She understood, and named a Chinese term for abuse. She asked if Dave has ever beat me - and I quickly said no! Then, to underscore the point, I said that my father had never beat me, and his father had never beat him.
Now, Wendy is not a woman to be crossed. She makes her opinion known, she stands up for herself, and she makes her own choices. She is a very strong woman. So, it was only for the sake of conversation that I asked if her husband has ever beat her.
Wendy: Yes, one time he hit me with a chair.
Lynne: He hit you on the head with a chair?
Wendy: Yes, one time. My baby was very young and crying a lot. I was angry, and I treated him with anger. He got very angry, and he picked up a chair and hit me on the head (she pointed to her temple). He made me bleed.
Lynne: What did you do?
Wendy: I think that if you forgive someone the first time they beat you, they will continue. So, I told him that if he ever does that again I will KILL him. He laughed - how would I kill him? I said, you have to sleep sometime. I will KILL you if you hurt me again.
Lynne: Has he ever hit you again?
Wendy: No.
At this point, Sophia needed to go potty and so the conversation sat on hold. But after a little bit, she picked up the trail again.
Wendy: I don't know what I would do if he beat me again.
Lynne: China and America are very different places. I do not know what kind of choices you have.
Wendy: Divorce?
Lynne: That's what I would tell you in America.
Wendy: But if I divorce, where would I live? And what about my daughter? I could not leave my daughter.
Lynne: I know. In America, your daughter would stay with you and your husband would have to help pay for your home.
Wendy: Oh! That is a very good deal!
Lynne: Well, not really. He would not have anymore money than he has now, but he would have to spend it on two different homes. It would be very difficult for him, and maybe he wouldn't always do it.
Wendy: Oh. (pause) I am a Nanjing person. My husband is Shanghainese, and so my daughter is Shanghainese. I could go back to my hometown, and my family would help me. I could change my daughter to be a Nanjing person, and then she could go to school in Nanjing. But the schools in Nanjing are not so good - not as good as in Shanghai.
Lynne: I just read that a person from Nanjing can rent an apartment in Shanghai - maybe this is new?
Wendy: Yes, I can rent an apartment in Shanghai. But how can I afford it? Apartments in Shanghai are very expensive. And who would care for my daughter? How would I work? (pause) I tell my brothers and my sisters in Nanjing, and they say I must bear it. (pause) I argue with him, and he does not beat me. But when he gets angry, I must stop arguing. I am afraid he will beat me again - and then what would I do?
I wish I could tell you I had sound advice for her. I don't. This would be difficult in America, where I understand the basics of the legal and social systems. I have no advice for her here. Further, she has explained that this is normal, and so no one feels bad for her. She knows that it is wrong, but most people she speaks to do not sympathize with her.
I told her that I agree with her brothers and sisters. If she can bear it, she should. I probably should lose my MSW for saying that, but I think its probably true. I also told her that if he hits her again, she needs to decide if she can bear it. That she must decide which is harder to bear - that maybe having her husband beat her and scare her is worse than anything else.
She said that if she saw a way, she would leave him today.
I doubt her situation is unique.
Friday, January 29, 2010
Monday, January 25, 2010
Peanut Butter Pie
My mom bakes, and always has. If I learned anything from my mother and grandmother, its how to roll out cookies. Sadly, I didn't pay very close attention, and cookies is as far as my baking expertise went before I left home. I had certainly learned to appreciate a good brownie, a moist cake and a flaky pie crust - but I had no idea how to make my own.
Well folks, lets thank China for leaving me with time on my hands and a total lack of good pie. For Dave's birthday, he asked for Peanut Butter Pie. I am not sure how I stumbled across this recipe, as most of this food blogger's other recipes are far too high in calories to be worth it. But Dave loves peanut butter deserts in any form, this somehow found its way into my recipe file.
And in the process of making the pie, I learned a few things.
1: I learned that the pre-Thanksgiving apple pie fiasco was less due to the dripping apples and more due to the drips of butter falling from my oh-so-flaky, buttery crust. The same quick remedy - turning off the oven, scrubbing it down with the fans on high, and then coating the rack with aluminum foil - went ultrafast this time.
2: Our oven is capable of reaching temperatures higher than 350.
3: It doesn't seem to hurt this pie crust to bake it at 500.
It came out of the oven feeling flaky, smelling good, and tasting wonderful. But presentation still must be learned. This is an awfully mottled and uneven pie crust:
Still, once you fill it with peanut butter custard and meringue, the appearance of the crust becomes less important.
And yes, that's an awfully flat meringue. Apparently, I need to practice my meringues as well as my crusts. My food photography could use some work as well. But the pie tasted so good that our small family polished off half of it in one sitting!
Here's the recipe. And although it is hardly a China-friendly recipe, it does rely primarily on ingredients I stock on my shelves and so worked well in our kitchen. Enjoy!
Pie Crust
Mix:
2 C. flour
1/2 C. ground almonds
1 t. salt
1 heaping t. brown sugar
Cut in:
1 C. butter, cut into 1/2" cubes and frozen at least 15 minutes**
Use your hands, if the butter is too cold to cut. But be careful not to overknead - those clumps of butter are what make the crust flaky (and the oven smokey!)
Sprinkle:
3-6 T. cold water
Add the cold water sprinkles or tablespoons at a time, and mix until the dough clumps together.
Form the dough into 2 round discs, and refrigerate for 1 hour.
After an hour, bring out one disc of dough and allow it to adjust to room temperature for 10-15 min. During that time, flour your workspace and your rolling pin. It worked well for me to wet the space just before flouring it.
Roll out the crust to a circle large enough to fill your pie plate.
Poke it with plenty of holes, and bake it at 350 until brown.
Peanut Butter Pie
Now that your crust is in the oven, begin work on the custard.
In a saucepan, combine:
2 egg yolks
1 1/2 C. milk
3/4 C. sugar
5 T. flour
1/4 t. salt
Stirring constantly, allow this to bubble and thicken.
Remove it from the heater, and add:
1/2 t. vanilla
1/8 t. cinnamon
1/8 t. cayenne
3/4 C. peanut butter - we used unsweetened, chunky and it was perfect
Your custard's done, so now move on to the meringue.
Beat:
2 egg whites
1/8 t. salt
When the eggs starts to get fluffy, add:
4 T. sugar
Now I've always been told that you should beat meringue until peaks form and it becomes glossy. With this meringue, that took me a crazy-long time, and it still came out of the oven flat. If you've got a good meringue, I may suggest you sub it in.
Assemble your pie - crust, custard and then meringue - and pop the whole thing in your 350 degree oven to bake until those peaks begin to brown.
Well folks, lets thank China for leaving me with time on my hands and a total lack of good pie. For Dave's birthday, he asked for Peanut Butter Pie. I am not sure how I stumbled across this recipe, as most of this food blogger's other recipes are far too high in calories to be worth it. But Dave loves peanut butter deserts in any form, this somehow found its way into my recipe file.
And in the process of making the pie, I learned a few things.
1: I learned that the pre-Thanksgiving apple pie fiasco was less due to the dripping apples and more due to the drips of butter falling from my oh-so-flaky, buttery crust. The same quick remedy - turning off the oven, scrubbing it down with the fans on high, and then coating the rack with aluminum foil - went ultrafast this time.
2: Our oven is capable of reaching temperatures higher than 350.
3: It doesn't seem to hurt this pie crust to bake it at 500.
It came out of the oven feeling flaky, smelling good, and tasting wonderful. But presentation still must be learned. This is an awfully mottled and uneven pie crust:
Still, once you fill it with peanut butter custard and meringue, the appearance of the crust becomes less important.
And yes, that's an awfully flat meringue. Apparently, I need to practice my meringues as well as my crusts. My food photography could use some work as well. But the pie tasted so good that our small family polished off half of it in one sitting!Here's the recipe. And although it is hardly a China-friendly recipe, it does rely primarily on ingredients I stock on my shelves and so worked well in our kitchen. Enjoy!
Pie Crust
Mix:
2 C. flour
1/2 C. ground almonds
1 t. salt
1 heaping t. brown sugar
Cut in:
1 C. butter, cut into 1/2" cubes and frozen at least 15 minutes**
Use your hands, if the butter is too cold to cut. But be careful not to overknead - those clumps of butter are what make the crust flaky (and the oven smokey!)
Sprinkle:
3-6 T. cold water
Add the cold water sprinkles or tablespoons at a time, and mix until the dough clumps together.
Form the dough into 2 round discs, and refrigerate for 1 hour.
After an hour, bring out one disc of dough and allow it to adjust to room temperature for 10-15 min. During that time, flour your workspace and your rolling pin. It worked well for me to wet the space just before flouring it.
Roll out the crust to a circle large enough to fill your pie plate.
Poke it with plenty of holes, and bake it at 350 until brown.
Peanut Butter Pie
Now that your crust is in the oven, begin work on the custard.
In a saucepan, combine:
2 egg yolks
1 1/2 C. milk
3/4 C. sugar
5 T. flour
1/4 t. salt
Stirring constantly, allow this to bubble and thicken.
Remove it from the heater, and add:
1/2 t. vanilla
1/8 t. cinnamon
1/8 t. cayenne
3/4 C. peanut butter - we used unsweetened, chunky and it was perfect
Your custard's done, so now move on to the meringue.
Beat:
2 egg whites
1/8 t. salt
When the eggs starts to get fluffy, add:
4 T. sugar
Now I've always been told that you should beat meringue until peaks form and it becomes glossy. With this meringue, that took me a crazy-long time, and it still came out of the oven flat. If you've got a good meringue, I may suggest you sub it in.
Assemble your pie - crust, custard and then meringue - and pop the whole thing in your 350 degree oven to bake until those peaks begin to brown.
Huangshan
Huangshan (Yellow Mountain) is actually a group of mountains in southern Anhui province. Anhui is just on the other side of Zhejiang and Jiangsu provinces from Shanghai, but feels much farther - especially on the night train. This is a slow train, stopping almost as frequently as a local subway and taking a circuitous route to Tunxi, also known as Huangshan City. Luckily we had hard sleepers, enabling us to sleep away much of the 15 hour ride.
Arriving in Tunxi, we got off the train and hopped on one of the dozens of minibuses ready to cart us off on the hour ride up to Tongkou, the village at the base of the mountains. Dropped off at some random hotel where most of the others on the minibus (a tour group) were staying, we puzzled over how to begin the actual hiking. The minibus driver interrupted his smoking break to try to help us out with his scattered English and my scattered Chinese. He called his friend Mr. Cheng who took us to his restaurant (Mr. Cheng's Restaurant and English Tourist Information). Deciding we'd be happy to start our hike with a good meal, we tucked in to a great dish of bamboo, mushroom and chicken and some scrambled eggs and tomatoes. Mr. Cheng gave us advice on our hiking route, told us we paid too much for our pre-booked hotel on the top of the mountains, and got us a ride to the trailhead.
We walked through tea plantations (Huangshan is famous for its tea) until we reached a view of a waterfall working its way down the cliffs. From there it was climbing, now through bamboo forests. Snow began to fall, making for a very pleasant hike.
After about an hour and a half, we reached the main trailhead for Huangshan. Skipping the cable cars, we started the hike up more stairs. We climbed for nearly 3 hours, and my city legs only persisted because our efforts were constantly rewarded by spectacular views of the mountain cliffs poking through fog among the snow. We eventually reached the top, where a number of paths crisscross among hotels and shops. Every brick and bedframe making up these hotel complexes and shops had been carted up by hand at one point. In fact, the only people we saw that first day were a steady stream of stick stick men carrying their well-balanced loads of hotel refuse down the mountain on bamboo poles. This certainly made my pack seem simple and my steps light. I generally prefer to enjoy nature on its own terms, but this night I enjoyed a buffet dinner and a hot shower before crashing for a well-earned night's sleep.
The next morning, we spent a few hours putzing around the various peaks in this top section of Huangshan. We clambered across rocks and kept trying to "get to that next peak". We reached some rather precarious looking bridges, decided they were worth testing, and then decided to cross them despite their failing of our various tests (first step crashed through.... well how about the second step?). We survived a few bridges, and eventually reached the last peak in the line. The only thing marring the sense of adventure and accomplishment was the cable car support planted on the edge of this peak. It had ladders going part of the way up to the top of the peak, but we looked over them and chose to scale the short-ish (maybe 30 feet) open face cliff. It had plenty of ridges so seemed doable without equipment. And it was, for Adam; but he had to haul me up a couple sections, bless his Army soul.
It was worth the effort. That was the constant theme: every time, our efforts were rewarded with amazing views. Still, but we opted for the ladder on the way back down. Finding the trail, we came to a gate and realized we had been on a closed section most of the time. No wonder we had it to ourselves!
After a bit more wandering, we found the trail back down via a new route. Today we had a harder time avoiding crowds, and the views were not quite as spectacular. Still, it was pleasant enough, and we eventually made it back to Mr. Cheng's restaurant for another hearty meal. He got us on a minibus heading back to Tunxi, where we wandered their "Old Street" trying the local snacks (don't bother) before heading to the airport for my flight home and Adam's flight to Beijing.
The scenery on Huangshan was some of the best I have seen anywhere in the world, and it really makes those Chinese scroll paintings of mountains in the clouds seem a whole lot less abstract. Every view in every direction on the top section was phenomenal, and ever changing as the clouds and fog rolled through and up and around.
Arriving in Tunxi, we got off the train and hopped on one of the dozens of minibuses ready to cart us off on the hour ride up to Tongkou, the village at the base of the mountains. Dropped off at some random hotel where most of the others on the minibus (a tour group) were staying, we puzzled over how to begin the actual hiking. The minibus driver interrupted his smoking break to try to help us out with his scattered English and my scattered Chinese. He called his friend Mr. Cheng who took us to his restaurant (Mr. Cheng's Restaurant and English Tourist Information). Deciding we'd be happy to start our hike with a good meal, we tucked in to a great dish of bamboo, mushroom and chicken and some scrambled eggs and tomatoes. Mr. Cheng gave us advice on our hiking route, told us we paid too much for our pre-booked hotel on the top of the mountains, and got us a ride to the trailhead.
We walked through tea plantations (Huangshan is famous for its tea) until we reached a view of a waterfall working its way down the cliffs. From there it was climbing, now through bamboo forests. Snow began to fall, making for a very pleasant hike.
After about an hour and a half, we reached the main trailhead for Huangshan. Skipping the cable cars, we started the hike up more stairs. We climbed for nearly 3 hours, and my city legs only persisted because our efforts were constantly rewarded by spectacular views of the mountain cliffs poking through fog among the snow. We eventually reached the top, where a number of paths crisscross among hotels and shops. Every brick and bedframe making up these hotel complexes and shops had been carted up by hand at one point. In fact, the only people we saw that first day were a steady stream of stick stick men carrying their well-balanced loads of hotel refuse down the mountain on bamboo poles. This certainly made my pack seem simple and my steps light. I generally prefer to enjoy nature on its own terms, but this night I enjoyed a buffet dinner and a hot shower before crashing for a well-earned night's sleep.
The next morning, we spent a few hours putzing around the various peaks in this top section of Huangshan. We clambered across rocks and kept trying to "get to that next peak". We reached some rather precarious looking bridges, decided they were worth testing, and then decided to cross them despite their failing of our various tests (first step crashed through.... well how about the second step?). We survived a few bridges, and eventually reached the last peak in the line. The only thing marring the sense of adventure and accomplishment was the cable car support planted on the edge of this peak. It had ladders going part of the way up to the top of the peak, but we looked over them and chose to scale the short-ish (maybe 30 feet) open face cliff. It had plenty of ridges so seemed doable without equipment. And it was, for Adam; but he had to haul me up a couple sections, bless his Army soul.
It was worth the effort. That was the constant theme: every time, our efforts were rewarded with amazing views. Still, but we opted for the ladder on the way back down. Finding the trail, we came to a gate and realized we had been on a closed section most of the time. No wonder we had it to ourselves!
After a bit more wandering, we found the trail back down via a new route. Today we had a harder time avoiding crowds, and the views were not quite as spectacular. Still, it was pleasant enough, and we eventually made it back to Mr. Cheng's restaurant for another hearty meal. He got us on a minibus heading back to Tunxi, where we wandered their "Old Street" trying the local snacks (don't bother) before heading to the airport for my flight home and Adam's flight to Beijing.
The scenery on Huangshan was some of the best I have seen anywhere in the world, and it really makes those Chinese scroll paintings of mountains in the clouds seem a whole lot less abstract. Every view in every direction on the top section was phenomenal, and ever changing as the clouds and fog rolled through and up and around.
Saturday, January 23, 2010
A Little Jealous
My younger brother arrived in Shanghai Tuesday night, right on time. We've been enjoying his company around the house, and the girls have especially been enjoying such a rigorous playmate. But last night, the girls and I bid him and Dave farewell. The pair took an overnight train to Huang Shan, where they spent the day today climbing the mountain. Tomorrow morning, they'll watch the sun rising over the peaks and then climb down again. Dave plans to catch a plane back home, arriving late tomorrow night. I look forward to posting some of his photos. Adam will catch a plane to Beijing, and begin a week of lone traveling through China. His path is simplified by the plans we've made - he has plan tickets and hostel reservations, as well as directions on how to reach each one. He will go to Beijing and Yangshuo, and then return to Shanghai after a week.
I set up the trip for Adam. Dave did most of the legwork for Huang Shan, but I was involved in the details. And the further involved I became, the more my jealousy grew. Such a trip I can not take with 2 such young children. Such a trip involves sleeping on trains, figuring it out as you go, and walking a lot. Such a trip involves dorm beds and midnight arrivals. Such a trip involves waiting until you can figure out the right answers, or seeking out someone who speaks enough English to point you in the right direction. Such a trip involves some trial and error. My goodness, such a description grows my jealousy all the more.
The backpacker days may well return again, although probably only after the youngest child has reached elementary school age, at least. For now, living vicariously through my brother, and tag-teaming weekend outings will have to suffice. As travel becomes more limited, I relish the life we have chosen - a new destination every few years. Not exactly backpacking, but no less an adventure.
I set up the trip for Adam. Dave did most of the legwork for Huang Shan, but I was involved in the details. And the further involved I became, the more my jealousy grew. Such a trip I can not take with 2 such young children. Such a trip involves sleeping on trains, figuring it out as you go, and walking a lot. Such a trip involves dorm beds and midnight arrivals. Such a trip involves waiting until you can figure out the right answers, or seeking out someone who speaks enough English to point you in the right direction. Such a trip involves some trial and error. My goodness, such a description grows my jealousy all the more.
The backpacker days may well return again, although probably only after the youngest child has reached elementary school age, at least. For now, living vicariously through my brother, and tag-teaming weekend outings will have to suffice. As travel becomes more limited, I relish the life we have chosen - a new destination every few years. Not exactly backpacking, but no less an adventure.
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
It's a Girl!
I've got to admit, Dave and I were both pretty surprised. But we will be welcome girl #3 into our family in early May. Dave lost 100 RMB in the office pool, and we proved the Chinese prophesy correct.
Dave's Chinese co-worker congratulated him, telling him that three golden flowers is very lucky.
Dave says that we should get a boy dog. Some day.
The girls are very happy. Lilly says we should name her Sally. Sophia says we should name her Pizza. The floor is still open to suggestions.
Dave's Chinese co-worker congratulated him, telling him that three golden flowers is very lucky.
Dave says that we should get a boy dog. Some day.
The girls are very happy. Lilly says we should name her Sally. Sophia says we should name her Pizza. The floor is still open to suggestions.
Monday, January 18, 2010
Impressively, This is a First
My brother is coming to visit. He forwarded me his itinerary, which had the date January 18th written on the top. I checked the flight information. I checked the time. I put it all on my calendar. I told the girls - we counted down every day for the last week. I told Dave - he moved his schedule around, and pushed everything forward yesterday.
Dave got home right on time. The girls had their shoes and coats on. We've got our passes in our pockets, ready to take the Metro out to the airport and meet Uncle Adam. And then Dave says,
Do you wanna make sure his flight will arrive on time?
Good idea, I says.
So I log onto Northwest Airlines' website, and put in his flight number.
It says there is no such flight number today.
So then I start to get mad. Its time for us to be rushing out the door, and this stupid website won't process a simple flight number.
I move back to the itinerary Adam emailed to me. I find the flight number. I don't look at the date - why would I? I copy the flight number, and paste it into Northwest's website.
It still says there is no such flight number today.
Okay, now I'm getting really mad. This is ridiculous - an obvious next failure of the airline industry. They can't even run a simple website to track incoming flights?
I search for the flight by city. I say he's flying from Chicago to Shanghai.
The website says he would fly from Chicago to Detroit today, and then fly from Detroit to Shanghai - landing tomorrow.
Still not processing a date error, I see that I've entered the wrong city. But I had the right flight number! So, I now search for the flight by the correct city. I say he's flying from Detroit to Shanghai.
And this is where my heart skipped a beat.
Without any dispute, his flight would not be arriving that evening.
I checked his itinerary.
True enough. He left Kansas City on January 18th, to arrive in Shanghai on January 19th.
And the interesting question here is,
Had we not checked the flight information, we would not have known his flight would not arrive today.
How long would we have waited at the airport for him to walk through the customs doors?
Dave got home right on time. The girls had their shoes and coats on. We've got our passes in our pockets, ready to take the Metro out to the airport and meet Uncle Adam. And then Dave says,
Do you wanna make sure his flight will arrive on time?
Good idea, I says.
So I log onto Northwest Airlines' website, and put in his flight number.
It says there is no such flight number today.
So then I start to get mad. Its time for us to be rushing out the door, and this stupid website won't process a simple flight number.
I move back to the itinerary Adam emailed to me. I find the flight number. I don't look at the date - why would I? I copy the flight number, and paste it into Northwest's website.
It still says there is no such flight number today.
Okay, now I'm getting really mad. This is ridiculous - an obvious next failure of the airline industry. They can't even run a simple website to track incoming flights?
I search for the flight by city. I say he's flying from Chicago to Shanghai.
The website says he would fly from Chicago to Detroit today, and then fly from Detroit to Shanghai - landing tomorrow.
Still not processing a date error, I see that I've entered the wrong city. But I had the right flight number! So, I now search for the flight by the correct city. I say he's flying from Detroit to Shanghai.
And this is where my heart skipped a beat.
Without any dispute, his flight would not be arriving that evening.
I checked his itinerary.
True enough. He left Kansas City on January 18th, to arrive in Shanghai on January 19th.
And the interesting question here is,
Had we not checked the flight information, we would not have known his flight would not arrive today.
How long would we have waited at the airport for him to walk through the customs doors?
What We've Been Reading
Whether or not the Foreign Service invites Dave to Washington this summer, our time in China is drawing to a close. Dave's contract with Uncle H-- ends on October 1. As Uncle H-- does not know of his Foreign Service plans, the time has come to draw up plans for after the completion of his contract in Shanghai and his time in China. Dave needs to decide whether to focus on an international career within his company, looking into possibilities in Brazil and Switzerland; or to focus on changing careers entirely, and simply asking Uncle H-- to move us back to Chicago this summer.
Either way, its time we read all of our books on China. This should keep each of us busy for a few months, so those seeking a complete Chinese bibliography should be pleased. I just finished two.
Oracle Bones by Peter Hessler
I read and reviewed Hessler's debut book, River Town, about 2 years ago. I loved the book and decided that Hessler is one of the best writers on modern China. And so I eagerly picked up his sophomore attempt, Oracle Bones, a National Book Award Finalist and a New York Times Bestseller. Hessler writes well, and I always enjoy reading his narrative style. He also does his homework, writing informative pieces based on piles of research. And thirdly, he really understands modern China. Hessler first arrived in China in the mid-90s, landing in rural Sichuan where he taught English has a Peace Corps volunteer. He learned to read and write in Mandarin, and also developed strong, trusting and lasting relationships with a number of his Chinese students. Oracle Bones displays all of these strengths, as Hessler weaves his various journalistic writings and historical research into one book. At each point, his stories are interesting to read. But I felt that the whole book lacked organization, and came across more as a haphazard collection of pieces rather than one whole. This bothered me less as I neared the end of the book, but primarily because he ended with his strongest pieces. The recent history of Chinese characters really captured my attention. For the mood of China over the past few years, this is a strong resource. For a good read, this book is disorganized and feels hectic.
Coming Home Crazy: An Alphabet of China Essays by Bill Holm
I first learned about Bill Holm's book from Hessler's bibliography. Holm traveled to Xi'an, China to teach English in the 1980s. The country was a different place then than now, and Holm well captures a particular place in a changing time. His book is more journal than story of place, and his organization feels contrived. Still, Holms is a good storyteller and he also paints a wonderful picture of what China feels like beneath the shiny glaze which Shanghai displays and the struggling superpower the international media portrays. For one individual's picture of Xi'an, China, well told and easy to read, this is a good choice.
Either way, its time we read all of our books on China. This should keep each of us busy for a few months, so those seeking a complete Chinese bibliography should be pleased. I just finished two.
Oracle Bones by Peter HesslerI read and reviewed Hessler's debut book, River Town, about 2 years ago. I loved the book and decided that Hessler is one of the best writers on modern China. And so I eagerly picked up his sophomore attempt, Oracle Bones, a National Book Award Finalist and a New York Times Bestseller. Hessler writes well, and I always enjoy reading his narrative style. He also does his homework, writing informative pieces based on piles of research. And thirdly, he really understands modern China. Hessler first arrived in China in the mid-90s, landing in rural Sichuan where he taught English has a Peace Corps volunteer. He learned to read and write in Mandarin, and also developed strong, trusting and lasting relationships with a number of his Chinese students. Oracle Bones displays all of these strengths, as Hessler weaves his various journalistic writings and historical research into one book. At each point, his stories are interesting to read. But I felt that the whole book lacked organization, and came across more as a haphazard collection of pieces rather than one whole. This bothered me less as I neared the end of the book, but primarily because he ended with his strongest pieces. The recent history of Chinese characters really captured my attention. For the mood of China over the past few years, this is a strong resource. For a good read, this book is disorganized and feels hectic.
Coming Home Crazy: An Alphabet of China Essays by Bill HolmI first learned about Bill Holm's book from Hessler's bibliography. Holm traveled to Xi'an, China to teach English in the 1980s. The country was a different place then than now, and Holm well captures a particular place in a changing time. His book is more journal than story of place, and his organization feels contrived. Still, Holms is a good storyteller and he also paints a wonderful picture of what China feels like beneath the shiny glaze which Shanghai displays and the struggling superpower the international media portrays. For one individual's picture of Xi'an, China, well told and easy to read, this is a good choice.
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Just Another Food Blog
When we first came to China, I didn't know how to cook. I believe I admitted this in an early posting - The Shanghai Kitchen Contest - where I asked for suggestions on fixing dinner with only a stovetop, a wok and a rice cooker. People came through with very few suggestions, but one friend put me in my place. He emailed that I could always just throw some rice, veggies and meat into the wok and create a simple stir-fry. His answer left me flummoxed - which veggies? how to cook the rice? what to do with the meat? I really didn't know how to cook when we came to Shanghai.
And now, after nearly 3 years in this town, I seem to have figured a few things out. Primarily out of necessity, I'll admit. The convenience foods are mighty expensive here, and it is much more cost effective to make your own pasta sauce and pumpkin pie. But the shops just don't hit the right chord here, either. If you want good wheat bread or brownies, you've got to make them yourself. And so I do.
Yesterday, I made homemade chicken nuggets for dinner, and then spent the evening making honey wheat bread from scratch, filling in the rising time with a batch of double chocolate cookies. Today is not so impressive - I ate the double chocolate cookies, and we had strawberries and whipped creme for dinner. The way we live when Dave is away.
Still, I am happy with this progression. Before, I needed a recipe to fix a good dinner. Now, I enjoy a good recipe, but I can also pull dinner together based on what is on the shelves. Before, I couldn't imagine finding the time to bake a loaf of bread. Now, baking bread seems simple and just requires a bit of forethought and a decent memory for time.
I've toyed with adding recipes to this blog, or at least stories about cooking. I toyed with this as I made caramel from scratch last weekend - yum! and beautifully simple. At some point I may, but at this point I'd feel like a hack. Anything truly impressive that I do comes from Simply Recipes or Cooks Illustrated, so anything worth writing and photographing would be a simple copy. Maybe upon arrival in a new land, my cooking stories will be more worth sharing.
The older my girls get, the more I have time for indulging hobbies like cooking and photography. And I'm quite pleased to say that the time is beginning to pay off. Unfortunately, the girls get older and they both talk more and nap less. The disappearance of the nap has led directly to a drop in blog entries. You'll have to bear with me until A: life becomes more interesting again, or B: the talkers spend more than a few hours per week in school. I may not have many stories for show for my time, and I won't soon be adding a food section, but there are some awfully tasty cookies in the kitchen!
Monday, January 11, 2010
One Decision Made
The Foreign Service holds training courses for them incoming officers about every 6 weeks or so. Invitations have already been sent and accepted to the January and February classes. The March class will begin on March 29. I would be 33 weeks pregnant. The following class begins on May 18. We expect to have a 1 week old baby at that time, so the May class has been off the table for nearly 5 months now. The June class begins on June 21.
We had been hoping that Dave would receive his Security Clearance in enough time to be invited to the March class. This is still a possibility. The crew in charge of clearing Dave have finished their investigations, and placed his file in a pile called Adjucations. This is the period of time where they decide whether or not to clear a person. People with clean records skip Adjudications, and go straight from Investigations to Cleared. People with foreign spouses, extensive travel, and connections in China tend toward Adjudications. With two of them three, Dave has already spent 5 months in Adjudications. We don't expect him to spend much longer here - Security Clearance could come any day now. We feel quite confident he will have his Security Clearance within the next 2 months - by March.
So, the question often arises for us. If offered a position in the March class, will Dave accept? The advantages are many:
- Dave moves out of a job he doesn't like, and begins his new career sooner.
- We deliver Jake in the states, at a hospital with a low infant mortality rate, and near our family.
- We can attend Dave's family reunion in May.
- We have all of our baby gear nearby, and easy access to stores which sell Pampers and Enfamil.
But would I rather move at 30 weeks pregnant, or with a 3 week old child? New moms may be amazed, but the old pros would agree - the 3 week old child is much easier. Plus, the advantages of delivering in Shanghai are many as well:
- Although Dave would be in a great new job, he would also have zero days of vacation. Think unpaid family leave, where we would have to reimburse the government for our housing on a daily basis. Here, he looks forward to nearly 3 weeks of vacation for the new little one.
- I have a great support group here. Although I look forward to meeting up with some wonderful friends in DC, I have some wonderful friends here as well. They will help with my kids, they will surround our family with prayer, and they may even cook for us sometimes!
- Wendy. While in Shanghai, we have someone who cooks and cleans for us, does all of our laundry and dishes, can pick up the girls from school and even get them dressed in the morning. Wendy knows our routines, she knows what we like, she knows our family and she knows how to help. In the states, our bathrooms would get filthy and our laundry would pile up at the arrival of a newborn - but now here!
- Tiny Tots. Lilly and Sophia can continue to attend school every day, offering a basic piece of continuity in their lives while they adjust to the new baby. That way we put off moving until school finishes for the year. Were we to move to DC early, I face delivering a baby with 2 children out of school. We move over the summer, and we've got better chances and seeing them each begin school in the fall, and meanwhile finding plenty of summertime playmates.
The list is certainly longer on the Shanghai side. Add to that how comfortable I am with my doctor, and that my hospital meets all Western accredidation standards. Our healthy baby will greet the world with no problems at all.
So, we've settled on the perfect timing. Dave's security clearance has 2-3 more months to come through, and then he can be invited to the June or July classes. If we're lucky, we might even make it back in time for the family reunion!
We had been hoping that Dave would receive his Security Clearance in enough time to be invited to the March class. This is still a possibility. The crew in charge of clearing Dave have finished their investigations, and placed his file in a pile called Adjucations. This is the period of time where they decide whether or not to clear a person. People with clean records skip Adjudications, and go straight from Investigations to Cleared. People with foreign spouses, extensive travel, and connections in China tend toward Adjudications. With two of them three, Dave has already spent 5 months in Adjudications. We don't expect him to spend much longer here - Security Clearance could come any day now. We feel quite confident he will have his Security Clearance within the next 2 months - by March.
So, the question often arises for us. If offered a position in the March class, will Dave accept? The advantages are many:
- Dave moves out of a job he doesn't like, and begins his new career sooner.
- We deliver Jake in the states, at a hospital with a low infant mortality rate, and near our family.
- We can attend Dave's family reunion in May.
- We have all of our baby gear nearby, and easy access to stores which sell Pampers and Enfamil.
But would I rather move at 30 weeks pregnant, or with a 3 week old child? New moms may be amazed, but the old pros would agree - the 3 week old child is much easier. Plus, the advantages of delivering in Shanghai are many as well:
- Although Dave would be in a great new job, he would also have zero days of vacation. Think unpaid family leave, where we would have to reimburse the government for our housing on a daily basis. Here, he looks forward to nearly 3 weeks of vacation for the new little one.
- I have a great support group here. Although I look forward to meeting up with some wonderful friends in DC, I have some wonderful friends here as well. They will help with my kids, they will surround our family with prayer, and they may even cook for us sometimes!
- Wendy. While in Shanghai, we have someone who cooks and cleans for us, does all of our laundry and dishes, can pick up the girls from school and even get them dressed in the morning. Wendy knows our routines, she knows what we like, she knows our family and she knows how to help. In the states, our bathrooms would get filthy and our laundry would pile up at the arrival of a newborn - but now here!
- Tiny Tots. Lilly and Sophia can continue to attend school every day, offering a basic piece of continuity in their lives while they adjust to the new baby. That way we put off moving until school finishes for the year. Were we to move to DC early, I face delivering a baby with 2 children out of school. We move over the summer, and we've got better chances and seeing them each begin school in the fall, and meanwhile finding plenty of summertime playmates.
The list is certainly longer on the Shanghai side. Add to that how comfortable I am with my doctor, and that my hospital meets all Western accredidation standards. Our healthy baby will greet the world with no problems at all.
So, we've settled on the perfect timing. Dave's security clearance has 2-3 more months to come through, and then he can be invited to the June or July classes. If we're lucky, we might even make it back in time for the family reunion!
Thursday, January 07, 2010
Baby News
The announcement about Jake's May arrival has some people worried about Mei Mei, and whether or not she will still be joining our family. The answer is yes. Here's how it shakes out.
When we began the adoption process, we expected to receive Mei Mei right about now. Paperwork had been taking about 6 months, and expedited families usually picked up their child about 1 year after having submitted their paperwork. Those dates should have worked out to December 2009.
However, the Hague treaty foiled us a bit, causing our paperwork to take 10 months rather than 6. And the Chinese government seems to have put a hold on expedited families. For many months, no expedited families received a match. And so that wait grew from 1 year to 15 months, and then 18 months, and then 20 months.
We looked at our family. The way this gap continued to grow, we could easily be facing a 3 year wait. With that, Sophia would be 6 years old when we finally picked up Mei Mei, and Lilly would be 7. That gap was not how we envisioned our family, and hence Jake. We prayerfully decided that we should just pop another kid into the middle there, and even out the numbers a bit.
Pregnancy has no major impact on the legalities and details of our adoption. It means that we need to file some extra paperwork, and it puts us under one stipulation: Jake must be at least 12 months old when we receive Mei Mei. Fine by us, I say. Mei Mei will be between 6 and 9 months old, and we're all too glad to have an enforced gap - however big or small it may be. We also have the option of voluntarily extending our wait time by 6 months - this would not keep Mei Mei in an institution for 6 months, but simply keep us on the list longer.
Finally, we received word this week that a few expedited families had been matched to their child. It seems that the wait time for them was about 22 months. That will be our minimum, with the possibility that it could rise over the next 1-2 years. So, here's the timeline:
2010, May - Jake is born
2010, June - We hope to move to DC
2011, Jan. - We likely move to our first posting
2011, Jan. - 22 months from when we logged in our paperwork
under this, the shortest expected time span, we would choose to extend by 6 months
2011, May - Jake is 12 months old
2011, July - 22 + 6 months from when we logged in our paperwork
We potentially receive match info for Mei Mei
2011, Aug. - We travel to China and pick up Mei Mei, who will be between 6 and 10 months old
Under this scenario, here's the family lineup. In August of 2011,
Lilly will be 6 years old
Sophia will be 4.5 years old
Jake will be 15 months old
Mei Mei will be 6-10 months old
For those of you hard up for calculators or calendars, that is a 5-9 month gap between Jake and Mei Mei. But luckily, as Jake will be born near the end of the school year, they would land in different school years. Once they reach school age, they would become 1 year apart rather than simply a few months.
This is not exactly the gap we were hoping for. A difference of about 18-24 months would be preferable, but we trust God's timing in each of these dates. And hope to live somewhere we can both A: afford household help and B: host grandparents / aunts & uncles / friends who like to help out for long periods of time.
When we began the adoption process, we expected to receive Mei Mei right about now. Paperwork had been taking about 6 months, and expedited families usually picked up their child about 1 year after having submitted their paperwork. Those dates should have worked out to December 2009.
However, the Hague treaty foiled us a bit, causing our paperwork to take 10 months rather than 6. And the Chinese government seems to have put a hold on expedited families. For many months, no expedited families received a match. And so that wait grew from 1 year to 15 months, and then 18 months, and then 20 months.
We looked at our family. The way this gap continued to grow, we could easily be facing a 3 year wait. With that, Sophia would be 6 years old when we finally picked up Mei Mei, and Lilly would be 7. That gap was not how we envisioned our family, and hence Jake. We prayerfully decided that we should just pop another kid into the middle there, and even out the numbers a bit.
Pregnancy has no major impact on the legalities and details of our adoption. It means that we need to file some extra paperwork, and it puts us under one stipulation: Jake must be at least 12 months old when we receive Mei Mei. Fine by us, I say. Mei Mei will be between 6 and 9 months old, and we're all too glad to have an enforced gap - however big or small it may be. We also have the option of voluntarily extending our wait time by 6 months - this would not keep Mei Mei in an institution for 6 months, but simply keep us on the list longer.
Finally, we received word this week that a few expedited families had been matched to their child. It seems that the wait time for them was about 22 months. That will be our minimum, with the possibility that it could rise over the next 1-2 years. So, here's the timeline:
2010, May - Jake is born
2010, June - We hope to move to DC
2011, Jan. - We likely move to our first posting
2011, Jan. - 22 months from when we logged in our paperwork
under this, the shortest expected time span, we would choose to extend by 6 months
2011, May - Jake is 12 months old
2011, July - 22 + 6 months from when we logged in our paperwork
We potentially receive match info for Mei Mei
2011, Aug. - We travel to China and pick up Mei Mei, who will be between 6 and 10 months old
Under this scenario, here's the family lineup. In August of 2011,
Lilly will be 6 years old
Sophia will be 4.5 years old
Jake will be 15 months old
Mei Mei will be 6-10 months old
For those of you hard up for calculators or calendars, that is a 5-9 month gap between Jake and Mei Mei. But luckily, as Jake will be born near the end of the school year, they would land in different school years. Once they reach school age, they would become 1 year apart rather than simply a few months.
This is not exactly the gap we were hoping for. A difference of about 18-24 months would be preferable, but we trust God's timing in each of these dates. And hope to live somewhere we can both A: afford household help and B: host grandparents / aunts & uncles / friends who like to help out for long periods of time.
Monday, January 04, 2010
You Can Go Back
Many of my friends in Shanghai discuss how you can never go back. My friend Ann is a perfect example of feelings many of us share. She comes from a small town in Ohio - the type of small town where people grow up, marry, and live through their retirement. Simply by choosing to move abroad, they became vastly different from their Ohio neighbors.
Further, she had worked full-time in Ohio. But in Shanghai, she lives as a tai tai, running her household, caring for her kids, and joining the ladies for Bible Study and charity events.
Her family dynamics changed as well. Her son left his small Ohio school for a large international school. And her step-daughters came to live with them full-time, because a weekends-only arrangement doesn't work when an ocean separates the two parents.
Their family dynamics have changed dramatically over the past few years, and each of those changes have led to a happy family. But the thought of returning to Ohio brings to mind the classic phrase, you can never go back. How to return to small-town, weekends-only life after what their family has become?
I often wonder the same about our family. When we left St. Louis, we had two very young children. Dave and I were still social animals, often having our weekends planned to the hour and relying on the grandparent babysitters down the street. We made entirely adult choices, and we enjoyed our lives and our friends. And like Ann, we are certainly the only of our friends to make the choice to live abroad. When will our trips home begin to feel less like home?
After 2 weeks spent in St. Louis and immersed in our old life, I've concluded that we are luckier than Ann. Our family has changed dramatically - Dave's and my roles inside our family have changed, the types of friends we have become are radically different, and having older children affects all of our choices now. But the same type of changes have happened to many of our friends. I sat to dinner with a few ladies from our home church. I shared some of our changes, some of our challenges, and some of the craziness of our current life. But so did each of the other ladies at the table. New babies had been born, houses had been bought and sold, the economy had changed and jobs had been impacted.
Maybe I'm lucky - my friends are in that same stage of life, where family and career grow and change quickly. And maybe being from the city helps - change can't happen fast enough on the run-down streets of St. Louis. But after dinner with a few friends, I am quite confident. We could move back to St. Louis and fall back into our old life quite happily.
We won't; but we could. And how comforting to know that home still awaits, and will for a long time to come.
Further, she had worked full-time in Ohio. But in Shanghai, she lives as a tai tai, running her household, caring for her kids, and joining the ladies for Bible Study and charity events.
Her family dynamics changed as well. Her son left his small Ohio school for a large international school. And her step-daughters came to live with them full-time, because a weekends-only arrangement doesn't work when an ocean separates the two parents.
Their family dynamics have changed dramatically over the past few years, and each of those changes have led to a happy family. But the thought of returning to Ohio brings to mind the classic phrase, you can never go back. How to return to small-town, weekends-only life after what their family has become?
I often wonder the same about our family. When we left St. Louis, we had two very young children. Dave and I were still social animals, often having our weekends planned to the hour and relying on the grandparent babysitters down the street. We made entirely adult choices, and we enjoyed our lives and our friends. And like Ann, we are certainly the only of our friends to make the choice to live abroad. When will our trips home begin to feel less like home?
After 2 weeks spent in St. Louis and immersed in our old life, I've concluded that we are luckier than Ann. Our family has changed dramatically - Dave's and my roles inside our family have changed, the types of friends we have become are radically different, and having older children affects all of our choices now. But the same type of changes have happened to many of our friends. I sat to dinner with a few ladies from our home church. I shared some of our changes, some of our challenges, and some of the craziness of our current life. But so did each of the other ladies at the table. New babies had been born, houses had been bought and sold, the economy had changed and jobs had been impacted.
Maybe I'm lucky - my friends are in that same stage of life, where family and career grow and change quickly. And maybe being from the city helps - change can't happen fast enough on the run-down streets of St. Louis. But after dinner with a few friends, I am quite confident. We could move back to St. Louis and fall back into our old life quite happily.
We won't; but we could. And how comforting to know that home still awaits, and will for a long time to come.
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