The comfort of living a dramatic life is the knowledge that it will someday lay out into a great story - a bestselling novel. But this is becoming too much. The book would be too confusing for anyone to follow!
A few updates for you:
The Foreign Service Register:
Remember from before that Dave has received his Security Clearance and now waits on the Register to be invited to one of the monthly training classes. Dave arrived on the register in the middle forties. Within two weeks, he had fallen to the low fifties. Further, State only reached as low as the middle 30s in their invitations for the May class.
What does this mean?
Well, this is all pure speculation. But we speculate that many people have tested well in the Political cone lately, and that a score of 5.6 may no longer be enough to guarantee a spot in the Foreign Service. This possibility makes Dave extremely anxious, bordering on depression. I feel much more confident that he will eventually be called, but the situation certainly calls for a pro-active stance.
Dave has begun studying Chinese, because passing a telephone language test would add either 0.17 or 0.4 points to his score. If he passes the test, he will certainly have a high enough score to guarantee a spot in the next class. If he does not pass the test, he will prepare to begin the entire process over again. He would take the written exam again, and pass easily. A few months later, he would take the Oral Exam again in a different cone (Economics, most likely). Even if he received the same score, he would be guaranteed a spot in the next class because the Political cone is the only one currently overrun.
Impact?
Although DC is still a possibility for this summer, it is certainly not a sure bet. But Uncle H-- moving us outside of Shanghai is a sure bet. Staying put is not an option.
The Move:
Uncle H-- still wants to move us to Hong Kong this summer. I have begun to realize how difficult this would be. Housing and rent would be challenging, as would setting up school (preschool registration forms are expected this month). I would expect to stay for about 6 months - not long enough to make friends or establish or a real support group. Not really long enough to hire a good ayi or figure out how to maneuver a new foreign city. And facing each of these challenges with a newborn and two preschoolers only intensifies the situation.
We have asked Uncle H-- to consider moving us to Chicago instead. Professionally, Dave hates this option. I must keep reminding him that he wants no future with this company, but he still struggles with the choice. The advantages of Chicago are numerous. Much of Dave's family lives in the Chicago area, and my parents are a simple weekend away in St. Louis. We could surround the girls with their family, and Dave with a wonderful support system during this transition period. And, we could almost certainly get The Red Chair from Chicago to DC when the time came.
But if finding a circle of friends for me within 6 months would be difficult in Hong Kong, it feels nearly impossible in the western suburbs on Chicago. Plus, get this logistic - in the DC area, Lilly is kindergarten age this fall. In the Chicago area she was born 4 days too late. One more city to begin researching preschools - and this time, we seek the right place (and tuition) for 2 children.
The Adoption:
As if all this were not enough.
We updated our homestudy this weekend in order to remain on the waiting list to adopt a child from China. Our social worker shared some interesting speculation of her own with us. Let me ensure you are up to date with us on the adoption, though.
We chose to become pregnant last summer because it looked as if our wait would end up being 3 years total. Such a wait would bring about a 5-6 year gap between Sophia and Mei Mei, which made us uncomfortable. So, after speaking with our adoption agency, we decided we ought to just sneak a little Jake in the middle there.
Fast-forward to December, when a number of expedited families living in China were matched with their baby. They had been waiting about 22 months, which looked like a pattern to us. We speculated that we would be matched with our baby next spring. Jake would be about 15 months old when we picked up her 6 month old sister. It would be close, but it would be possible.
Our social worker gave different - and much more informed - speculation. It looks to her as if expedited families are ready to move quickly. She speculates that we could receive our match anytime - she says there seems to be no pattern at all.
Bad news.
Bad news because China will not (and should not) allow us to adopt Mei Mei while we have a child under 12 months old in our home.
Bad news because we do not have a 6 month grace period, as we originally thought.
And bad news because we've already got enough uncertainty in our lives.
** A few words of comfort for you, though. Although we have this hanging over our heads, it has very little impact on our daily lives. We still enjoy our friends and the emerging spring weather, and we continue to feel the excitement of a new baby joining our family in a few weeks. Our future certainly calls for as much prayer, faith and grace as we can summon. But the days are far from dark.
Sunday, March 21, 2010
Sunday, March 07, 2010
Number Crunching
Prepare yourself - this post will include a lot of numbers.
Dave was added to The Register on March 3rd. With a score of 5.6, he is now 46 out of 141.
Allow me to explain the register, and to put his numbers into context. This way, you can share our anxiety for the next few months.
The Register
To run through the past year, Dave has passed an test, written essays, passed an oral exam, received medical clearance and received security clearance. Once all of those hoops have been jumped, each candidate is placed on The Register. This is essentially HR's list of bodies eligible to begin training. You see, Dave can not simply be sent out into the world as a diplomat. He must begin his Foreign Service career with a series of training classes in Washington, DC. State offers these classes approximately every 6 weeks. Here are the start dates for upcoming classes:
HR invites nearly 100 students to each training class. That's about 20 from each cone. (Remember cones or tracks? This is the candidate's chosen career track. Dave chose Political. There's also Management, Economics, Consular and Public Diplomacy).
Placed at #46 on the political register, we could assume that Dave would in the 3rd group of 20 political candidates and therefore called to the August class (March's class is already full). But its more complicated than that.
People arrive at their place on the register by two statistics - their score, and the date they hit the register. Dave's score is 5.6. He hit the register on March 3rd. Anyone with a 5.6 or lower who arrives on the register from now on will be behind him. But anyone with a score of 5.7 or higher will hit the register above him. This could potentially pull him lower on the list - an acquaintance was 68 out of 68 when she first hit the register, and has fallen to 83 out of 97 within only 2 months.
People also have the option of going DNC at any time. Going DNC is adding your name to the Do Not Call list. Dave has already added his name to the Do Not Call list for May, because we expect a baby to be born on or near the start date. A move from China between now and then is not in the cards. But many other people are on the DNC list as well, meaning that invitations always dip lower on the register than #20. The February class called #40 and the October class called #54.
This is where it becomes a real gamble. No one can guess how many people will join the register in the next few months, or estimate how high their score. No one can guess how many people will stay on or off of the DNC list - although we assume that a fair number have been waiting for the end of the school year.
Here's our anxiety-ridden speculation:
We speculate that most DNC candidates are waiting for the end of the school year, and will come off of the DNC list for the June and August classes.
We know that Uncle H-- will move us in mid-July, if Dave has not already resigned.
We worry that there will be an extra move before our arrival in DC, costing both ourselves and Uncle H-- a good chunk of money, and costing the girls and I a good chunk of stress and discomfort.
Hence the planning for two separate moves.
We're hoping and praying for an invitation to the June or August class, and we may spend some time on pins and needles until we find out for sure.
Dave was added to The Register on March 3rd. With a score of 5.6, he is now 46 out of 141.
Allow me to explain the register, and to put his numbers into context. This way, you can share our anxiety for the next few months.
The Register
To run through the past year, Dave has passed an test, written essays, passed an oral exam, received medical clearance and received security clearance. Once all of those hoops have been jumped, each candidate is placed on The Register. This is essentially HR's list of bodies eligible to begin training. You see, Dave can not simply be sent out into the world as a diplomat. He must begin his Foreign Service career with a series of training classes in Washington, DC. State offers these classes approximately every 6 weeks. Here are the start dates for upcoming classes:
March 29
May 10
June 21
August 2
September 13
May 10
June 21
August 2
September 13
HR invites nearly 100 students to each training class. That's about 20 from each cone. (Remember cones or tracks? This is the candidate's chosen career track. Dave chose Political. There's also Management, Economics, Consular and Public Diplomacy).
Placed at #46 on the political register, we could assume that Dave would in the 3rd group of 20 political candidates and therefore called to the August class (March's class is already full). But its more complicated than that.
People arrive at their place on the register by two statistics - their score, and the date they hit the register. Dave's score is 5.6. He hit the register on March 3rd. Anyone with a 5.6 or lower who arrives on the register from now on will be behind him. But anyone with a score of 5.7 or higher will hit the register above him. This could potentially pull him lower on the list - an acquaintance was 68 out of 68 when she first hit the register, and has fallen to 83 out of 97 within only 2 months.
People also have the option of going DNC at any time. Going DNC is adding your name to the Do Not Call list. Dave has already added his name to the Do Not Call list for May, because we expect a baby to be born on or near the start date. A move from China between now and then is not in the cards. But many other people are on the DNC list as well, meaning that invitations always dip lower on the register than #20. The February class called #40 and the October class called #54.
This is where it becomes a real gamble. No one can guess how many people will join the register in the next few months, or estimate how high their score. No one can guess how many people will stay on or off of the DNC list - although we assume that a fair number have been waiting for the end of the school year.
Here's our anxiety-ridden speculation:
We speculate that most DNC candidates are waiting for the end of the school year, and will come off of the DNC list for the June and August classes.
We know that Uncle H-- will move us in mid-July, if Dave has not already resigned.
We worry that there will be an extra move before our arrival in DC, costing both ourselves and Uncle H-- a good chunk of money, and costing the girls and I a good chunk of stress and discomfort.
Hence the planning for two separate moves.
We're hoping and praying for an invitation to the June or August class, and we may spend some time on pins and needles until we find out for sure.
Wednesday, March 03, 2010
The Red Chair
Those of you who know me personally are probably familiar with The Red Chair. Its my nursing chair, the glider we purchased for the nursery before Lilly was born. Its a lovely chair, soft and comfy, and easy for every member of the family to snuggle into and take a nap. It is perfect for feeding a baby in the middle of the night, and dozing off with her in your arms. It is perfect for reading stories to both a 3- and 4-year-old in the evening. It is vibrant and lovely, and it has been in our home as long as our children have been in our home. The red chair has become my one piece of permanence in an ever changing household.
Further, the red chair has become an important tradition. Each child has her portrait taken on the red chair for her birthday. Birthdays came quite frequently when they were infants. First weekly, then monthly, and now yearly. Here is Lilly at 7 months old, in our home in St. Louis:
Here is Sophia at 13 months old, in our first Shanghai home - in Lu Jia Zui:
The Red Chair photos give us a beautiful way to watch our children grow and to trace the homes where they lived, as well as an exceptional number of vibrant portaits.
When we eventually move to DC for Dave to begin his new career, we will live in temporary housing. The State Department will pack up our current home in two shipments: 1-UAB or Unaccompanied Air Baggage, and 2-HHE or Household Effects. We are privy to most of the shipping rules already, as this is a government job and those bureaucratic bits and pieces are public information. We know that our UAB will fly from Shanghai to Washington, DC and will meet us at our temporary home. We know that this is severely limited by weight, but that tiny babies get a few extra allowances referred to as a layette. However, these allowances are meant for small things like collapsed cribs and strollers. The HHE will include everything else in the house, up to 18,000 pounds. Friends shipped their entire furnished apartment for a family of 5 and came to only 8,000 pounds, so we'll be sending everything we own - both here and in St. Louis. The catch is that this shipment will sit in a storage unit somewhere until we reach our first post. That is, we will not see any items sent in our HHE for over 1 year.
Rules quite clearly state that furniture may not be included in the UAB (the one we will have with us in Washington).
Rules clearly state that we will not have access to our HHE while in Washington (it may never arrive in the DC area; if it does, it will cost around $500 to open the door to the unit)
But how can Jake live her first year of life without the red chair?
I am distraught about this.
I hate to think that I will have no Red Chair Pictures of Jake from the time she is 2 months old until after her 1st birthday.
Dave is spending the week in Hong Kong. Alone in my bed, in a dark room last night, the significance of this hit hard. I cried. This is simply not okay with me. After crying long and hard, I began to wonder if maybe I was upset about something more. I began to realize something difficult.
We chose to be where we are, and we knew that this would be a difficult choice. We knew that having a baby while changing international careers would be difficult. We knew that life in the Foreign Service would be difficult. We also knew that through faith and prayer, we would still be fine. "The Lord will guide you always; he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame. You will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail." - Isaiah 58:11 I know that whatever challenges arise, I will be like a well-watered garden in the desert. Everything will be alright.
Until I faced what is clearly the first of many practical sacrifices.
So, feeling rather trivial, I mentioned this in Bible Study this morning. I mentioned The Red Chair to the ladies because we were discussing prayer, all that Ask and You Shall Receive stuff that everyone believes until it comes time to really ask for something. In fact, we read an even better verse: "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6-7 This time, it still says to present all of our requests to God. But the next line does not say they will be granted - the next line says that we will have peace.
So, I asked the ladies. Should I pray for The Red Chair? And unequivocally, they said yes. God doesn't care how trivial our needs, we decided. If we need something, we should bring it to God. The worst thing we can receive is peace.
And so I pray for The Red Chair. And I have faith that God will somehow answer this prayer. Honestly, I am rather curious what He's got up His sleeve - as this one seems nearly impossible. But I will pray. And I ask those who pray for us to pray as well - please pray that we still have our Red Chair.
The worst we can receive is peace.
Further, the red chair has become an important tradition. Each child has her portrait taken on the red chair for her birthday. Birthdays came quite frequently when they were infants. First weekly, then monthly, and now yearly. Here is Lilly at 7 months old, in our home in St. Louis:
Here is Sophia at 13 months old, in our first Shanghai home - in Lu Jia Zui:
The Red Chair photos give us a beautiful way to watch our children grow and to trace the homes where they lived, as well as an exceptional number of vibrant portaits.When we eventually move to DC for Dave to begin his new career, we will live in temporary housing. The State Department will pack up our current home in two shipments: 1-UAB or Unaccompanied Air Baggage, and 2-HHE or Household Effects. We are privy to most of the shipping rules already, as this is a government job and those bureaucratic bits and pieces are public information. We know that our UAB will fly from Shanghai to Washington, DC and will meet us at our temporary home. We know that this is severely limited by weight, but that tiny babies get a few extra allowances referred to as a layette. However, these allowances are meant for small things like collapsed cribs and strollers. The HHE will include everything else in the house, up to 18,000 pounds. Friends shipped their entire furnished apartment for a family of 5 and came to only 8,000 pounds, so we'll be sending everything we own - both here and in St. Louis. The catch is that this shipment will sit in a storage unit somewhere until we reach our first post. That is, we will not see any items sent in our HHE for over 1 year.
Rules quite clearly state that furniture may not be included in the UAB (the one we will have with us in Washington).
Rules clearly state that we will not have access to our HHE while in Washington (it may never arrive in the DC area; if it does, it will cost around $500 to open the door to the unit)
But how can Jake live her first year of life without the red chair?
I am distraught about this.
I hate to think that I will have no Red Chair Pictures of Jake from the time she is 2 months old until after her 1st birthday.
Dave is spending the week in Hong Kong. Alone in my bed, in a dark room last night, the significance of this hit hard. I cried. This is simply not okay with me. After crying long and hard, I began to wonder if maybe I was upset about something more. I began to realize something difficult.
We chose to be where we are, and we knew that this would be a difficult choice. We knew that having a baby while changing international careers would be difficult. We knew that life in the Foreign Service would be difficult. We also knew that through faith and prayer, we would still be fine. "The Lord will guide you always; he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame. You will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail." - Isaiah 58:11 I know that whatever challenges arise, I will be like a well-watered garden in the desert. Everything will be alright.
Until I faced what is clearly the first of many practical sacrifices.
So, feeling rather trivial, I mentioned this in Bible Study this morning. I mentioned The Red Chair to the ladies because we were discussing prayer, all that Ask and You Shall Receive stuff that everyone believes until it comes time to really ask for something. In fact, we read an even better verse: "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6-7 This time, it still says to present all of our requests to God. But the next line does not say they will be granted - the next line says that we will have peace.
So, I asked the ladies. Should I pray for The Red Chair? And unequivocally, they said yes. God doesn't care how trivial our needs, we decided. If we need something, we should bring it to God. The worst thing we can receive is peace.
And so I pray for The Red Chair. And I have faith that God will somehow answer this prayer. Honestly, I am rather curious what He's got up His sleeve - as this one seems nearly impossible. But I will pray. And I ask those who pray for us to pray as well - please pray that we still have our Red Chair.
The worst we can receive is peace.
Tuesday, March 02, 2010
The Lantern Festival
In Shanghai, the Spring Festival wraps around on the 15th day of the New Year with the celebration of the Lantern Festival. This has got to be my favorite of the Chinese celebrations. People have spent the past 2 weeks creating intricate paper lanterns, which they will hang outside on the 15th evening. These lanterns may have riddles, and families walk the streets looking at lanterns and solving riddles. What fun already, right?
Add in the fireworks that occur at any occasion in China. This time they centered around 8pm on Sunday night, and so Lilly and I enjoyed a firework-chasing walk through the neighborhood. Our neighbors shot off loud firecrackers in front of our house, and Lilly and I watched as they did their best to keep their dog from attacking the lit fuse. We walked down the street, watching boys light fuses of fireworks perched on top of the railings. We stood across the street from a shop keeper who must have lit 30 fireworks the style of a fountain of sparks - it was beautiful. We chased a few bright lights around for the best view, and we enjoyed watching cars swerve to avoid the fireworks exploding in the middle of the street. Certainly a festive walk!
We were further able to enjoy this festival by an invitation to the West Nanjing Road Community Center's Lantern Festival Celebration. It seems that this very Chinese community center has an administrator with an interest in sharing Chinese culture with expatriates, and so this festival was broadcast all through the Shanghai expat networks. The girls received free gifts at the door - noisemakers and stuffed dragons. We watched a dragon dance - the type where the lead dancer wears holds a dragon head over her own head, and the second person becomes the back legs. The dancing, jumping and posturing of each makes for a lively dance and a really interesting dragon. A hip-hop troupe of 8 year olds performed, and a large group of middle aged women danced with drums and flags before we reached naptime and headed home.
Sadly, I did not bring my camera to this awesome event. But 50% of the Chinese people did, and most of them have quite a few shots of my children now on their memory cards. We seemed more popular than the dancers!
Add in the fireworks that occur at any occasion in China. This time they centered around 8pm on Sunday night, and so Lilly and I enjoyed a firework-chasing walk through the neighborhood. Our neighbors shot off loud firecrackers in front of our house, and Lilly and I watched as they did their best to keep their dog from attacking the lit fuse. We walked down the street, watching boys light fuses of fireworks perched on top of the railings. We stood across the street from a shop keeper who must have lit 30 fireworks the style of a fountain of sparks - it was beautiful. We chased a few bright lights around for the best view, and we enjoyed watching cars swerve to avoid the fireworks exploding in the middle of the street. Certainly a festive walk!
We were further able to enjoy this festival by an invitation to the West Nanjing Road Community Center's Lantern Festival Celebration. It seems that this very Chinese community center has an administrator with an interest in sharing Chinese culture with expatriates, and so this festival was broadcast all through the Shanghai expat networks. The girls received free gifts at the door - noisemakers and stuffed dragons. We watched a dragon dance - the type where the lead dancer wears holds a dragon head over her own head, and the second person becomes the back legs. The dancing, jumping and posturing of each makes for a lively dance and a really interesting dragon. A hip-hop troupe of 8 year olds performed, and a large group of middle aged women danced with drums and flags before we reached naptime and headed home.
Sadly, I did not bring my camera to this awesome event. But 50% of the Chinese people did, and most of them have quite a few shots of my children now on their memory cards. We seemed more popular than the dancers!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)