I am a bad roommate.
Follow up with any of the gals I lived with in college - I am no longer in touch with any of them. My husband supports what they would assert as well. I am a bad roommate. I need my space, or I get grumpy. And, well, sometimes I get grumpy even when I have that space.
But here's the challenge - I love having houseguests.
If you, dear reader, have been considering coming to visit us in the future, please do not let the above assertion put you off. I want you to visit. I would love you to visit. And please, stay for as long as you would like. I just need you to follow a few simple rules:
No, actually its not as anal as that. I mean, there are a few house rules, but that's true in any house. Visitor rules are simply:
A - Quiet hours are from the girls' bedtime at night until the last girl wakes up in the morning, and
B - Nap Time is very serious in this house. You do not need to nap (very few of us do anymore), but you must keep to yourself. Everyone needs a little quiet time.
So, this last rule usually threw people off. See, I was pretty strict about this rule - either stay in your room, or leave the house. It may sound bad, but it ended up praised by plenty of people. It gave my mom the chance to explore every afternoon; my mother-in-law the chance to rest and relax every afternoon; my brother the chance to disappear every afternoon; and me the quiet of the house for a little while every day, so that I'm happy to see you return when you do.
But the rule is just a band-aid. I've been thinking it through, and I think that Miss Manners should write some basic rules of house-guestery. So, after many, many houseguests - and after being houseguest with many, many people, here it is - Basic Rules of House-Guestery.
1. Visitors staying 2 nights or less may be considered on vacation, and act accordingly. They should expect to be fed and entertained.
2. Visitors staying longer than 2 nights should be considered temporary members of the household, and act accordingly. Meals will continue, but help will be expected and complex dishes will become far less frequent. Entertainment will slow tremendously. Guests must begin entertaining themselves, leaving the house on their own, and generally contributing to the household with bits like babysitting, fixing meals or running laundry.
This is pressing on my mind this week, because our family is about to journey back to the Midwest. Next week, we will make the long and exciting drive through Chicago, St. Louis, Arkansas, St. Louis, Chicago and eventually Arlington. We will log a lot of road time, and spend about 4 weeks as houseguests. For a good portion of that, we will be at my folks' house in St. Louis with both of my brothers. Oh, let me repeat that cause it'll be fun.
My entire family will be sharing a house again for a while, just like we did when we were kids... except we're not any of us kids, the house is smaller, and we are adding 3 extra kids into the mix.
Oh, I know it'll be fun - for all of us, but especially for the kids. But I'm making sure my family has on our best Houseguestery. We will help out, fixing some meals, cleaning our bathroom, keeping our toys contained. We will get out, not only when I meet up with my friends, but also finding time for just me and each of my girls. And we know that each of our hosts will do the same. Cause that much time together would drive nearly anyone crazy.
So, back to the Basic Rules of House-Guestery. A few more that I've picked up:
1. The host should pay for groceries (with the exception of expensive special requests, like daily alcohol or breakfast cereal in China).
2. The guest should pay for at least one meal out.
3. The host should have the bed ready when the guest arrives - with towels and an extra cup accessible (this is one I drop far too often).
4. The guest should strip their bed when leaving - with sheets and towels left in a neat pile, and pillows, blankets and comforters left folded or made on the bed.
And may I just say that, of course, you have been a perfect houseguest when you stayed with us!
Not only you, but really we have not had any who left us shaking our heads and our hands in relief. And most of the rules are common courtesy. But remember, next time you're staying at someone's house, after 2 days you need to start entertaining yourself. Get out of the house - we usually live in pretty cool places, so get out there!
Follow up with any of the gals I lived with in college - I am no longer in touch with any of them. My husband supports what they would assert as well. I am a bad roommate. I need my space, or I get grumpy. And, well, sometimes I get grumpy even when I have that space.
But here's the challenge - I love having houseguests.
If you, dear reader, have been considering coming to visit us in the future, please do not let the above assertion put you off. I want you to visit. I would love you to visit. And please, stay for as long as you would like. I just need you to follow a few simple rules:
No, actually its not as anal as that. I mean, there are a few house rules, but that's true in any house. Visitor rules are simply:
A - Quiet hours are from the girls' bedtime at night until the last girl wakes up in the morning, and
B - Nap Time is very serious in this house. You do not need to nap (very few of us do anymore), but you must keep to yourself. Everyone needs a little quiet time.
So, this last rule usually threw people off. See, I was pretty strict about this rule - either stay in your room, or leave the house. It may sound bad, but it ended up praised by plenty of people. It gave my mom the chance to explore every afternoon; my mother-in-law the chance to rest and relax every afternoon; my brother the chance to disappear every afternoon; and me the quiet of the house for a little while every day, so that I'm happy to see you return when you do.
But the rule is just a band-aid. I've been thinking it through, and I think that Miss Manners should write some basic rules of house-guestery. So, after many, many houseguests - and after being houseguest with many, many people, here it is - Basic Rules of House-Guestery.
1. Visitors staying 2 nights or less may be considered on vacation, and act accordingly. They should expect to be fed and entertained.
2. Visitors staying longer than 2 nights should be considered temporary members of the household, and act accordingly. Meals will continue, but help will be expected and complex dishes will become far less frequent. Entertainment will slow tremendously. Guests must begin entertaining themselves, leaving the house on their own, and generally contributing to the household with bits like babysitting, fixing meals or running laundry.
This is pressing on my mind this week, because our family is about to journey back to the Midwest. Next week, we will make the long and exciting drive through Chicago, St. Louis, Arkansas, St. Louis, Chicago and eventually Arlington. We will log a lot of road time, and spend about 4 weeks as houseguests. For a good portion of that, we will be at my folks' house in St. Louis with both of my brothers. Oh, let me repeat that cause it'll be fun.
My entire family will be sharing a house again for a while, just like we did when we were kids... except we're not any of us kids, the house is smaller, and we are adding 3 extra kids into the mix.
Oh, I know it'll be fun - for all of us, but especially for the kids. But I'm making sure my family has on our best Houseguestery. We will help out, fixing some meals, cleaning our bathroom, keeping our toys contained. We will get out, not only when I meet up with my friends, but also finding time for just me and each of my girls. And we know that each of our hosts will do the same. Cause that much time together would drive nearly anyone crazy.
So, back to the Basic Rules of House-Guestery. A few more that I've picked up:
1. The host should pay for groceries (with the exception of expensive special requests, like daily alcohol or breakfast cereal in China).
2. The guest should pay for at least one meal out.
3. The host should have the bed ready when the guest arrives - with towels and an extra cup accessible (this is one I drop far too often).
4. The guest should strip their bed when leaving - with sheets and towels left in a neat pile, and pillows, blankets and comforters left folded or made on the bed.
And may I just say that, of course, you have been a perfect houseguest when you stayed with us!
Not only you, but really we have not had any who left us shaking our heads and our hands in relief. And most of the rules are common courtesy. But remember, next time you're staying at someone's house, after 2 days you need to start entertaining yourself. Get out of the house - we usually live in pretty cool places, so get out there!
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