Open Invitation

Let it be said:

You are invited.

Not only are you invited, but we encourage you to visit.

And yes, the Olympics will be in China next summer. More specifically, the Beijing Olympics will last from August 8th to August 24th in 2008. More info at http://www.olympic.org/uk/games/beijing/index_uk.asp

And no, we will not be in Bejing. But from where you are, we'll be really close! The flight from Hong Kong to Beijing is 3 hours. The flight from Shanghai to Beijing is more like 2 hours. And if you can get us tickets to the Olympics along with you, you'll even have resident guides for your entire trip!

Our small bed and breakfast may book fast during this period, so do feel free to plan ahead.

But all Olympics talk aside, I dearly hope that all of our family will make the time to visit while we're away. And I do hope that our friends with any interest and ability to travel to China will take advantage of our foreign residency.

You are welcome to stay. Do not wait for another invitation. Rest assured that you are welcome at our home.

Raising nieces and grandbabies

I suppose it goes without saying that MOVING TO CHINA dominates many of the thoughts flying through my mind lately. So much so, in fact, that I'm writing about it at 1:30 in the morning rather than sleeping. And with a child not yet sleeping through the night, my own sleep time is precious - believe me, being awake at this hour is not by design.

But, I figure, if I'm to be awake thinking about MOVING TO CHINA, I may as well be productive with my time and begin to answer some of my many questions. Let's take this one: How will our children know their family?

A fact about family: they will be honest. My brother has voiced his disappointment in our choice. He explained how much he enjoys being an uncle. He and I share disappointment in our uncles for never being there, and he vowed long ago not to be an absentee uncle. I love that. And I know that with our decision, we've thrown his plans and honorable intentions out the window.

I feel that since we made the decision to move our children far away, we are responsible for keeping the tie between them and their family tightly bound. And to that end, I plan to do the following:

• make annual visits to America, where the girls will spend significant periods of time with everyone in their family (non-us residents unfortunately excluded)
• continue to send photos on a regular basis
• purchase a camcorder, and send documentary footage as regularly as possible
• help the girls to communicate with their family as much as they are willing, through the phone, email, and more traditional forms of written communication.

When I was a girl, we spent a lot of time on my grandparents' farm. My aunt still lived at home while I was young, and so I spent quite a bit of time with her when I was little. Still, I have no real memory of my time with her and no real friendship, either. On the other hand, I saw my great-grandmother infrequently. As far as I recall, it was never more than once or twice a year. And then generally for just an afternoon. But she always sent me a birthday card with $5. What's more, she always sent me valentines. Every year she sent valentines, until she died. I loved getting those valentines. I mean, $5 on my birthday was great and all, but the valentines were invaluable.

I think that our girls' relationships with their family will grow much stronger if family can communicate with them as well. In the spirit of brainstorming, here are some of my ideas:

• send photos of yourself, either by email or by real mail
• send letters, pictures, cards - communication that little girls can relate to, and that we can help them connect to you
• communicate directly with them, through phone, letters or email
• visit - please! as frequently and for as long as you are able

I know that each of these pales in comparison to a weekend every month or an evening or more every week, but these regular communication and reminders of who their family is and that their family loves them will be their valentines. It'll mean more than you'll know to our little girls.

I am committed to holding up my end of the bargain. I look forward to seeing how our family - and our friends as well - will hold up theirs.

Decision Made, part 2

The previous posting was taken from an email written last week, just as the decision had been made. Since then, Dave has notified all involved and the ball is now rolling. Timing is less than perfect - we're getting the ball rolling during Chinese New Year, so immediately we're stalled. But to belabor the metaphor, at least the ball is out of our hands.

I've felt all along that this was more Dave's decision than mine. As a stay-at-home mom, I'll do the same things in one place or another. But now that the decision is made, so many thoughts are constantly racing through my mind.

What is the process now?

What do I need to do before selling our house?

How will I keep my children heathy?

How much of my home will I bring with me?

How will I make any friends?

How will our children know their family?

I could go on, and that's the point of this. This is a unique project we're embarking upon, and our hope is that people want to know about it. So here is where I will record our changing lives. The processes we go through in moving, and the answers I reach to my many, many questions. The changes in our lives as my girls grow in a foreign land.

Please understand the craziness that is living with two little girls, and forgive the sporatic postings that undoubtedly will occur. But please do check in with us occasionally, and feel free to comment or send your thoughts to us directly. This is our dialogue with all of our loved ones - please feel free to join the conversation!

Decision Made

So I think we have decided to move to China. I say "I think" cause it's not 'official' yet but it's really just a formality of informing people - with the catch that we could still change our minds (yet again!) before that happens. But I think we've decided.

Last night I had a conversation with a company guy in Tokyo who would be a mentor/manager (he's British). He said all the right things in terms of it being a job I could make into what I want it to be (including doing what I need to do to balance family and work) and that they would understand the need to make sure my family was comfortable and would work with us to make that happen.

So then Lynne and I talked for an hour or two and pretty much decided that we were choosing between:

a) A safe, good option in St. Louis that gets me out of the 'corporate' world and likely gives me the opportunity for a good work/life balance.

b) An exciting but scary option which I would probably need to work too much at and after which we would be stuck back where we are now - in a job I don't love that asks too much of me.

So it seemed like the obvious answer was St. Louis. But I had a disappointment run through me as we came to that conclusion. I needed to talk about it some more, so I called the 'rents (at about midnight - sorry again!).

Dad said all the right things about making a decision consistent with our values and such. Then mom jumped in and wrecked everything (so this is all your fault, mom!). She said that living internationally was also very consistent with our values, that it's going to be just as hard for me to have the right work/life balance if I'm running my own company, and that after China, I'm not at all stuck back where I am now - the world is our oyster, as they say. She hit the nail on the head (thanks, mom!).

So Lynne and I talked for a few more hours and finally couldn't think anymore so went to sleep as yet undecided. Dad called back this morning (at 7 am - we're even!) to say he wanted to be clear that he agreed that China was a great option and that there's nothing at all wrong with going with your gut feeling on something like this - thanks a bunch for that call, pops. I played hooky this morning, we read Psalm 16, and we went out for crepes and made our decision. The decision was now framed as such:

1) Stay in St. Louis with a solid support system and a job that I may love - and if I do, we are probably in St. Louis for the long haul, in the same job for the rest of my career.

2) Go to China, have an unbelievably hard but also exciting time in which we learn a lot and meet lots of very interesting people. Come back and figure it out from there.

Again, we seemed to have framed it in a way that makes the decision somewhat obvious, as long as we are willling to put up with some unbelievably hard times. It came down to a safe, good option vs. an exciting, scary option. We decided on exciting and scary for a couple reasons:

- the life-long career and life-long St. Louis thing makes that less attractive. Granted, neither of those would have to be the case if I took that job - but it's sort of the 'best case scenario' - and if there's some rather significant downside to the 'best case scenario', then...

- we are the type of people who like exciting and scary. We definitely were that type before we had a dog. We still were that type before we had kids. We thought we still were before Lynne's parents and Becky and Ben moved to town. This made us sit back and question it: are we really still that type? The answer is yes. As much as we love our dog, our kids, and having family close by - we would always regret saying no. And the dog will go somewhere great for her, we think the kids will be better people if they don't grow up only in St. Louis, and we will do whatever it takes to make sure we still have quality family time with all of our extended family (start saving your pennies, folks, cause it's not too cheap to fly to China!).

- Lynne's biggest reason, I think, was that she felt the need to take a step of faith. It doesn't take much faith to stay here in St. Louis in our comfortable life. Not that we want to test God or something, but that it's better for us to not get too comfortable and complacent - it will be good for us to have to really rely on Him for strength and to feel His presence in the way you can only feel it when you have nothing else to turn to.

So we decided on China. And I don't feel much of any pangs of disappointment - I feel giddy as a schoolboy, frankly. Scared, but crazy excited.

Thanks so much for all your prayers. God didn't make this an easy decision for us at all, but that probably means that it's a stronger decision. We didn't default into this - we are choosing this against another very good option. Please continue to pray that we have peace about it, that the details work out well and all the little decisions are made wisely, and most of all for Lynne - this will be much harder for her than for me, and she doesn't do well with lonely - pray that she feels God's presence, both when she is on her own and through people we meet there.

Sorry for how long this turned into, but it was quite therapeutic for me. If you read all the way to the end, give yourself a gold star.

Love you all.
Dave for the family.