For the past few weeks, I've had my To Do List structured into a few different categories. To Do this week, To Do this month, and To Do before we leave. It occurred to me just this evening that it is time to consolidate my first two lists, as this month ends on Tuesday. Once I did that, I got straight to work. Luckily, I also heard from a few key people at the end of the week. Things are beginning to roll.
I won't bore you with the details, but we now have all of our flights booked as well as reservations made for rental cars and hotels along the way. Lilly will go to the local public school, and Sophia is set up with an amazing preschool called Discovery Woods. I can't express how happy I am with this school. They run a Reggio Emilia program remarkably similar to The Wonder Center, where Lilly went to school in Shanghai. I love Reggio, I loved The Wonder Center, and I'm really excited about this program. Poor Sophia has not landed so well in Shenzhen, falling into the wrong classroom mix of kids with a sub-par teacher. She needs a nurturing environment with teachers paying individual attention to the academic and social needs of each of the children. I'm convinced that she will get just that at Discovery Woods, and have an awful lot of fun besides. Should we still stay in D.C. this fall, she will continue on there for preschool. I hope we stay - I would love to see her in this environment for as long as possible. Dave hopes we go - it is a shock to have to pay for preschool, especially at such a pricey place as this.
The To Do list is still long - insurance, dates, selling, packing, and loads of other tiny bits and pieces which now need to come together at once. My parents arrive on Tuesday night, which will make the work load much easier - especially with Dave spending these last few weeks in Manila.
And one last tidbit, to make you feel better about yourself: Not only did I lose my wallet about one month ago - to the tune of a couple hundred dollars, access to our account in Shanghai, and 2 of our 3 credit cards. Not only that. But last night, I left another wallet in a taxi. This one held five crisp $100 bills, and 4 passports. Thankfully, the passports were returned before I even knew they were missing. But the taxi driver helped himself to a $500 tip for his efforts.
It'll be an expensive few months, and my spaciness isn't helping very much.
Sunday, February 27, 2011
Saturday, February 26, 2011
Ordering
At a local restaurant recently, our family ran into another Waiting Family. For those outside of the adoption world, a Waiting Family is one like ours who has already submitted paperwork and is simply waiting to be matched with their child. I chatted with the Mom for a while, comparing notes and plans. When we left, Lilly asked what we were talking about.
Myself: Their family is adopting, just like our family is adopting. Do you remember what adopting means?
Lilly: Yeah, its when you order a baby.
I decided that was fair enough for a 5 year old.
Myself: So, how does ordering a baby work?
Lilly: You just pick a kid, and then they come to live in your home.
Myself: So can we pick just any kid?
Lilly: Yep.
Myself: So, could someone choose to adopt you?
Lilly: Yep.
She was amazingly nonchalant about this possibility. Still, I carefully explained what an orphan is and we will only adopt an orphan. Since then, imaginary play in our house often entails both parents dying. Apparently she really was comfortable with the idea of being adopted!
Myself: Their family is adopting, just like our family is adopting. Do you remember what adopting means?
Lilly: Yeah, its when you order a baby.
I decided that was fair enough for a 5 year old.
Myself: So, how does ordering a baby work?
Lilly: You just pick a kid, and then they come to live in your home.
Myself: So can we pick just any kid?
Lilly: Yep.
Myself: So, could someone choose to adopt you?
Lilly: Yep.
She was amazingly nonchalant about this possibility. Still, I carefully explained what an orphan is and we will only adopt an orphan. Since then, imaginary play in our house often entails both parents dying. Apparently she really was comfortable with the idea of being adopted!
Thursday, February 24, 2011
An Update on Wendy
Regular readers will remember Wendy, our ayi in Shanghai. She struggled with an abusive husband while she worked for us, and agonized over whether to leave him and thereby leave her daughter, or to stay with him and set a horrible example for her daughter.
I spoke with her today. To her credit, Wendy decided to leave her husband. The abuse got worse. She went to the hospital. And then she moved out.
Her husband refuses to grant her a divorce. Instead, he tries to maneuver her back into the house, with ploys like needing help with their daughter Le Le's homework. He says he's sorry every single time, and promises he will never hit her again. He is a textbook abuser.
Wendy went to help her daughter with her homework last night, and to read some books to her. She related this conversation - remember that Le Le is 3 years old.
Le Le: If Daddy promises to stop hitting you, will you forgive him?
Wendy: No, I will never forgive him.
Le Le: If he promises not to hit you, will you come back home?
Wendy: No, I can not go home. Did it scare you when Daddy hit me?
Le Le: Yes, it scared me. I don't want him to do it again. Will you read me one more book before you go?
This conversation pushed her desire to bring Le Le into her own home, but this costs money. She works as a housekeeper, and does not earn enough to support both herself and her daughter. She worries that if her husband eventually decides to remarry, then he will grant her a divorce but not custody of her daughter - with a new mother in the house, Wendy would lose her daughter entirely. I believe she called me because she needs ideas on how to earn money. She sounded almost frantic.
A friend suggested that she should marry a foreign man, because they are generally very rich. This would be a good way to get a lot of money. My heart sank when I heard this suggestion. And fell even further when I realized how serious she was. Plenty of women in China have this plan, and there are plenty of sleazy bars to accommodate this market. Unfortunately for all of these husband shoppers, the men at these bars are not looking for wives.
The other idea her friend had was to work for a foreign family, and eventually go abroad with them. Then she could marry a foreign man in his own country, make a lot of money, and bring her daughter to live with them.
These ideas seem like pie in the sky - like schemes more than realistic plans. And the conversation pained me, because Wendy is a very smart, strong and capable woman. She could run a business, and instead she's discussing marrying a foreign man for his money. I suggested she look for an entry-level position in a foreign company, because her English skills and her rapport with foreigners would make her master a front desk, and her brains would get her promoted quickly. But she lacks confidence, and I lack the know-how to get these jobs.
I fear I left her in despair, when she called me in hope. I hate how few choices she has, and it hurts that I can't offer her any real help.
I told her we will leave China in just a few weeks. She has no email address, and I have no forwarding phone number. I worry I will lose Wendy soon. I feel so powerless.
I spoke with her today. To her credit, Wendy decided to leave her husband. The abuse got worse. She went to the hospital. And then she moved out.
Her husband refuses to grant her a divorce. Instead, he tries to maneuver her back into the house, with ploys like needing help with their daughter Le Le's homework. He says he's sorry every single time, and promises he will never hit her again. He is a textbook abuser.
Wendy went to help her daughter with her homework last night, and to read some books to her. She related this conversation - remember that Le Le is 3 years old.
Le Le: If Daddy promises to stop hitting you, will you forgive him?
Wendy: No, I will never forgive him.
Le Le: If he promises not to hit you, will you come back home?
Wendy: No, I can not go home. Did it scare you when Daddy hit me?
Le Le: Yes, it scared me. I don't want him to do it again. Will you read me one more book before you go?
This conversation pushed her desire to bring Le Le into her own home, but this costs money. She works as a housekeeper, and does not earn enough to support both herself and her daughter. She worries that if her husband eventually decides to remarry, then he will grant her a divorce but not custody of her daughter - with a new mother in the house, Wendy would lose her daughter entirely. I believe she called me because she needs ideas on how to earn money. She sounded almost frantic.
A friend suggested that she should marry a foreign man, because they are generally very rich. This would be a good way to get a lot of money. My heart sank when I heard this suggestion. And fell even further when I realized how serious she was. Plenty of women in China have this plan, and there are plenty of sleazy bars to accommodate this market. Unfortunately for all of these husband shoppers, the men at these bars are not looking for wives.
The other idea her friend had was to work for a foreign family, and eventually go abroad with them. Then she could marry a foreign man in his own country, make a lot of money, and bring her daughter to live with them.
These ideas seem like pie in the sky - like schemes more than realistic plans. And the conversation pained me, because Wendy is a very smart, strong and capable woman. She could run a business, and instead she's discussing marrying a foreign man for his money. I suggested she look for an entry-level position in a foreign company, because her English skills and her rapport with foreigners would make her master a front desk, and her brains would get her promoted quickly. But she lacks confidence, and I lack the know-how to get these jobs.
I fear I left her in despair, when she called me in hope. I hate how few choices she has, and it hurts that I can't offer her any real help.
I told her we will leave China in just a few weeks. She has no email address, and I have no forwarding phone number. I worry I will lose Wendy soon. I feel so powerless.
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Taking Stock
After all that sitting and waiting, I actually made some progress toward our move today. I received an email from HR at the Guangzhou Consulate. For new hires moving domestically to Washington, D.C., a contracted travel agent will make all arrangements for their travel and shipments. But for new hires moving from outside the U.S., we are supposed to manage all travel through our local consulate. For us, that is the consulate in Guangzhou - about an hour west of Shenzhen.
I got an email from the consulate this afternoon, copying the shipping company and the travel agent. They can write nothing in pen until our travel orders come through, but they're more than happy to put everything down in pencil today. So, I began to fill out a very handy little form. It asked what date I'd like to move out, and which date I'd like my things to arrive in D.C. It asked when I would prefer to do our pre-move survey, and what value I would place on our shipment.
This gave me pause, and so I pulled out my little household inventory. I already have my list put together of what will go with us to D.C., and what will go into storage for the next year. I compared my list to my inventory, and realized that my inventory is woefully inadequate.
In this lifestyle, a complete inventory is worth our shipment's weight in gold. We will insure our shipment privately - because ships do sink, pirates do rob, and boxes do go missing when you're facing multiple global moves. I need to know what we have, and how much it is worth.
But beyond simple insurance claims forms, both now and when we go to post. We have things flying with us to the states, and things flying to meet us in DC. We have things moving from storage in Chicago to storage in Washington. We have things moving into our brand new mini-van (which I am so looking forward to!) and following us all the way home. And we have things going straight from our home into storage, never to be seen until we call for them.
And when we call for them, it will not be by digging through neatly arranged and opened boxes. When I decide that I'd like to take my food processor with me to Cuba, I need to send an email to the appropriate person telling them that I would like them to please ship box #52.
Hence the inventory. So, here's my plan. My current life is full of helper friends, which I adore. I'm going to take advantage of every one of them on the day the movers arrive. I'll print off a number of copies of my inventory, and place each friend in a room with a copy. They'll keep watch on their assigned movers, making note of where every one of my items ends up. Maybe they can even recommend that the glass bowls be more securely wrapped.
And then, if you want to have some fun, you can begin to quiz me on where each of my things are. It'll be a much more exciting game at the end of March. I am willing to bet that I could account for every single item I own.
I got an email from the consulate this afternoon, copying the shipping company and the travel agent. They can write nothing in pen until our travel orders come through, but they're more than happy to put everything down in pencil today. So, I began to fill out a very handy little form. It asked what date I'd like to move out, and which date I'd like my things to arrive in D.C. It asked when I would prefer to do our pre-move survey, and what value I would place on our shipment.
This gave me pause, and so I pulled out my little household inventory. I already have my list put together of what will go with us to D.C., and what will go into storage for the next year. I compared my list to my inventory, and realized that my inventory is woefully inadequate.
In this lifestyle, a complete inventory is worth our shipment's weight in gold. We will insure our shipment privately - because ships do sink, pirates do rob, and boxes do go missing when you're facing multiple global moves. I need to know what we have, and how much it is worth.
But beyond simple insurance claims forms, both now and when we go to post. We have things flying with us to the states, and things flying to meet us in DC. We have things moving from storage in Chicago to storage in Washington. We have things moving into our brand new mini-van (which I am so looking forward to!) and following us all the way home. And we have things going straight from our home into storage, never to be seen until we call for them.
And when we call for them, it will not be by digging through neatly arranged and opened boxes. When I decide that I'd like to take my food processor with me to Cuba, I need to send an email to the appropriate person telling them that I would like them to please ship box #52.
Hence the inventory. So, here's my plan. My current life is full of helper friends, which I adore. I'm going to take advantage of every one of them on the day the movers arrive. I'll print off a number of copies of my inventory, and place each friend in a room with a copy. They'll keep watch on their assigned movers, making note of where every one of my items ends up. Maybe they can even recommend that the glass bowls be more securely wrapped.
And then, if you want to have some fun, you can begin to quiz me on where each of my things are. It'll be a much more exciting game at the end of March. I am willing to bet that I could account for every single item I own.
Monday, February 21, 2011
Adoption Update
The last few weeks have been surprisingly quiet. Almost relaxingly quiet, as we look ahead to the March and April looming before us. I still have no travel orders (a point I choose not to be nervous about), and so I have very little plans to make. I have been in touch with the American Consulate in Guangzhou, and the head of management came across as quite helpful. He said we can get a few balls rolling after the holiday (today), so I look forward to a conversation - and hopefully some travel orders - tomorrow or the next day.
Until then, we sit and wait. And we do all of the little jobs which need to be done. I back up all of our photos and videos. I organize our storage. I freeze a few extra batches of baby food. And I put everything in place for the adoption.
I spoke with our social worker here in China a few days ago, and learned quite a few interesting pieces. Allow me to catch you up.
This time last year, I was 7 months pregnant and we learned that we were nearing the top of the adoption list. We put together a friendly letter to the Chinese government, asking to defer being matched with Mei Mei until after Annika's first birthday. A few other families were sending the same letter - a letter which was unprecedented for our social worker. Over the past year, a few of those families have reached the 12 month mark, and we have seen a new precedent.
It seems that China is not too concerned about when we begin our process again. We would like to wait until Annika is closer to 18 months before bringing Mei Mei into our family. Apparently, putting off our letter re-starting the adoption process is not time sensitive.
**Please let me stress here. We have not been matched yet. Mei Mei is as yet a concept - not a real person. Putting off meeting her means delaying when we receive our match. It does not mean leaving our child in an orphanage for longer than necessary. **
The new precedent also implies that once we restart our adoption, we will be placed at the top of the list. That is, once we send in our letter requesting to get things moving, we must be prepared for things to move immediately. We will likely be in the next batch of matches. Rather amazingly, it seems that we have quite a bit of power over exactly when we receive our next child. Looking at the number of dramatic changes taking place over this year, that bit of control is warmly welcomed.
At this point, we anticipate writing that letter in about November of this year. If things go as patterned so far, we will meet Mei Mei about 2 months later. We will approach the bidding process with this timeline in mind. Our current goal is to move to our next post at the end of August or beginning of September, giving us a good 3-5 months to settle in before the next major life event. This is not in our control, but will guide which posts we bid high and which posts we bid low.
And I am counting on the members of the foreign service in our new post to be welcoming and supportive immediately. The move to Shenzhen proved amazingly warm and simple - an answer to prayer, no doubt. And so far, every member of the Foreign Service who has heard about our invitation to the March class has dropped everything to chat and answer questions. It seems like a very strong community, and I look forward to joining.
FYI: In case you're concerned about the potential disruption of a government shutdown on our plans to move, be somewhat reassured. The HR professionals in charge of hiring Dave have been told (hearsay, I realize - this would not stand up in a court of law) that funding has already been committed to the March class. Should the government freeze, Dave will reportedly still have a job.
Until then, we sit and wait. And we do all of the little jobs which need to be done. I back up all of our photos and videos. I organize our storage. I freeze a few extra batches of baby food. And I put everything in place for the adoption.
I spoke with our social worker here in China a few days ago, and learned quite a few interesting pieces. Allow me to catch you up.
This time last year, I was 7 months pregnant and we learned that we were nearing the top of the adoption list. We put together a friendly letter to the Chinese government, asking to defer being matched with Mei Mei until after Annika's first birthday. A few other families were sending the same letter - a letter which was unprecedented for our social worker. Over the past year, a few of those families have reached the 12 month mark, and we have seen a new precedent.
It seems that China is not too concerned about when we begin our process again. We would like to wait until Annika is closer to 18 months before bringing Mei Mei into our family. Apparently, putting off our letter re-starting the adoption process is not time sensitive.
**Please let me stress here. We have not been matched yet. Mei Mei is as yet a concept - not a real person. Putting off meeting her means delaying when we receive our match. It does not mean leaving our child in an orphanage for longer than necessary. **
The new precedent also implies that once we restart our adoption, we will be placed at the top of the list. That is, once we send in our letter requesting to get things moving, we must be prepared for things to move immediately. We will likely be in the next batch of matches. Rather amazingly, it seems that we have quite a bit of power over exactly when we receive our next child. Looking at the number of dramatic changes taking place over this year, that bit of control is warmly welcomed.
At this point, we anticipate writing that letter in about November of this year. If things go as patterned so far, we will meet Mei Mei about 2 months later. We will approach the bidding process with this timeline in mind. Our current goal is to move to our next post at the end of August or beginning of September, giving us a good 3-5 months to settle in before the next major life event. This is not in our control, but will guide which posts we bid high and which posts we bid low.
And I am counting on the members of the foreign service in our new post to be welcoming and supportive immediately. The move to Shenzhen proved amazingly warm and simple - an answer to prayer, no doubt. And so far, every member of the Foreign Service who has heard about our invitation to the March class has dropped everything to chat and answer questions. It seems like a very strong community, and I look forward to joining.
FYI: In case you're concerned about the potential disruption of a government shutdown on our plans to move, be somewhat reassured. The HR professionals in charge of hiring Dave have been told (hearsay, I realize - this would not stand up in a court of law) that funding has already been committed to the March class. Should the government freeze, Dave will reportedly still have a job.
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Guest Post: Squat machine
Not recommended for those with a need to walk or even stand:
Bad combination:
Luckily I made it through. The cure? Well I'm not gonna give up the frog or the ultimate so I'd better start exercising again. One thing I don't need is a squat machine.
- Go about 6 months with the only exercise you take an occasional walk or hike with 3 kids under 5 (read: not very fast)
- Play ultimate frisbee for over 2 hours on artificial turf.
- Try a little Chinese restaurant specializing in frog near the office for lunch. You'll recognize it by the crate of frogs jumping around outside.
- Ignore the big red "frowny face" on the health inspection sign in said restaurant.
Bad combination:
- Perform the second scenario (the frog restaurant) soon after the first (playing ultimate on unprepared legs)
- Work at an office that has only "squat pot" toilets.
Luckily I made it through. The cure? Well I'm not gonna give up the frog or the ultimate so I'd better start exercising again. One thing I don't need is a squat machine.
Monday, February 14, 2011
Learning Chinese
One of the blessings of living overseas is that you can often afford household help. Our housekeeper / nanny (called ayi here in China) is a lovely older woman who thinks the world of Annika. So much so, in fact, that I often find the housework left undone because she's been playing with Annika every moment she could. So much so, in fact, that she'll grab my baby away from me to take her away and play. Said baby loves it so much that I can hardly complain.
So, when I told ayi that we will move away from China in about one month, she looked very sad. Of course, losing your job is always sad. But I think she's mainly sad to say good-bye to little Annika. She grabbed her soon after, and gave her some snuggles.
This morning, I came home early and have taken advantage of the time to sit at my desk and get things done while ayi and Annika play upstairs. Just now, I heard her learning to speak Mandarin. Yi, er, san I hear ayi saying, with bah, bah, bah as the reply.
So, when I told ayi that we will move away from China in about one month, she looked very sad. Of course, losing your job is always sad. But I think she's mainly sad to say good-bye to little Annika. She grabbed her soon after, and gave her some snuggles.
This morning, I came home early and have taken advantage of the time to sit at my desk and get things done while ayi and Annika play upstairs. Just now, I heard her learning to speak Mandarin. Yi, er, san I hear ayi saying, with bah, bah, bah as the reply.
Guest Post: Morocco
A bit late, but here are the photos from Morocco. It's a beautiful little country with ancient market towns, lush green rolling plains, rocky mountains, and a long ocean-front. The food is fantastic for meat-lovers (I get the feeling a vegetarian would starve though). Grilled or stewed lamb or beef at every meal, all seasoned with Morocco's cumin-based blend (cinnamon and nutmeg and about 40 others involved I believe). Friday lunch of cous-cous was fantastic as well.
I spent most of my time in the office, but had a couple chances to get out:
Casablanca's mosque, one of the 3 largest in the world I believe:
The beginnings of the Atlas mountains:
Even coming from China, this one was a bit of a shock. Really, just the head? At least they've got handles.
A corner of the labyrinthine markets of Fez (apparently the largest car-free urban area in the world, for those keeping track):
Above Fez, drying the wool on the top of the world. They didn't want us to take pictures until we gave them some help sweeping the wool:
The Roman ruins at Volubilis, in a gorgeous setting:
The ancient town of Moulay Idriss
In the market at Rabat, the capital city in which I was working for 2 weeks. Bought my Moroccan spice mix and some argan oil from this guy:
Roman ruins at the Chellah in Rabat, with the town of Sale across the river valley in the background. Storks have taken over the chellah now:
Rabat's oceanfront kasbah:
I spent most of my time in the office, but had a couple chances to get out:
Casablanca's mosque, one of the 3 largest in the world I believe:
The beginnings of the Atlas mountains:
Even coming from China, this one was a bit of a shock. Really, just the head? At least they've got handles.
A corner of the labyrinthine markets of Fez (apparently the largest car-free urban area in the world, for those keeping track):
Above Fez, drying the wool on the top of the world. They didn't want us to take pictures until we gave them some help sweeping the wool:
The Roman ruins at Volubilis, in a gorgeous setting:
The ancient town of Moulay Idriss
In the market at Rabat, the capital city in which I was working for 2 weeks. Bought my Moroccan spice mix and some argan oil from this guy:
Roman ruins at the Chellah in Rabat, with the town of Sale across the river valley in the background. Storks have taken over the chellah now:
Rabat's oceanfront kasbah:
Friday, February 11, 2011
Exciting
With all of the excitement surrounding our big announcement last week, it seems like I should have loads to share with y'all via the blog. Its actually been a pretty quiet week here in Shekou, our home town. You see, the thing about the federal government is that as an employer, they are entirely stable. And they've been managing expats for a lot longer than Uncle H-- has. They take good care of their folks, in an entirely predictable way. So, we know exactly what will move and what will not. We know exactly how to set it up, and what pieces we will be responsible for. We know when things begin - not only Dave's training, but also our health insurance and our next apartment. The only unknown is where we will be going next - but that's so far off, I can't be bothered by it. And anyway, I do know that we'll learn our first post on April 29th.
So, as I have very few surprises at this point, I also have very little to share. Just to keep your interest, I'll let you know what each family member is the most excited about. These sentiments have been expressed vocally and explicitly in the last few days.
Lilly: She can't wait to live near Jack and William again, and to play with Layla and Ella. These kids come from families we've gotten to know in the past, and Lilly can still remember well playing with each of the children. How exciting to move to a new city, where you already have friends! But possibly her favorite new neighbor? President Obama. He will be Daddy's boss!
Sophia: She can't quite believe that not only will we have our own car, but Mommy will drive it. And she can ride in it for 3 whole days when we go from St. Louis to DC. Poor kid - she's really looking forward to that.
Annika: She hasn't vocalized it yet, but she's looking forward to celebrating her 1st birthday in the states, with family somewhere nearby.
Lynne: We'll be arriving near the beginning of Farmer's Market season, right? April brings out baby carrots, asparagus, strawberries. And then we'll be there through the fresh fruits and vegetables of the summer, if not also into the fall. I'm looking forward to some good food.
Dave: Well, Dave is obvious. He's looking forward to March Madness. Go Jayhawks!
So, as I have very few surprises at this point, I also have very little to share. Just to keep your interest, I'll let you know what each family member is the most excited about. These sentiments have been expressed vocally and explicitly in the last few days.
Lilly: She can't wait to live near Jack and William again, and to play with Layla and Ella. These kids come from families we've gotten to know in the past, and Lilly can still remember well playing with each of the children. How exciting to move to a new city, where you already have friends! But possibly her favorite new neighbor? President Obama. He will be Daddy's boss!
Sophia: She can't quite believe that not only will we have our own car, but Mommy will drive it. And she can ride in it for 3 whole days when we go from St. Louis to DC. Poor kid - she's really looking forward to that.
Annika: She hasn't vocalized it yet, but she's looking forward to celebrating her 1st birthday in the states, with family somewhere nearby.
Lynne: We'll be arriving near the beginning of Farmer's Market season, right? April brings out baby carrots, asparagus, strawberries. And then we'll be there through the fresh fruits and vegetables of the summer, if not also into the fall. I'm looking forward to some good food.
Dave: Well, Dave is obvious. He's looking forward to March Madness. Go Jayhawks!
Wednesday, February 09, 2011
Good Timing
A common question I get these days is about how I'm feeling. This move will happen very quickly, and seems quite sudden to most people. I think they're expecting me to answer with overwhelmed, shocked or stressed. I'm really not.
I'm feeling nothing but excitement.
We've been planning this move for the past year now. This time last year, I expected a move to DC over the summer and began my research. I already know all of the details about our future housing, the process for shipping, and the various school options. And I had a certain faith that we were following the right course.
So, when we moved to Shenzhen over the summer rather than to D.C., my faith shook a bit. Moving was simple - none of us really expected to face another fall in Shanghai anyway. But moving inside China? Missing the chance on the Foreign Service?
It is strange to me that I will have only lived in Shenzhen for 7 months, because I came to feel at home here very quickly. I have many close friends and a strong support system, which established itself amazingly fast. A number of friends of strong Christian faith have walked alongside us, having only met me in this journey a few months ago. So, I will remember Shenzhen as a hot and welcoming place, where I questioned God's plan.
People constantly had to remind me that God has a plan for each of our lives, and that if we are diligently trying to follow that plan than we can't be straying too far from it. When I felt as if we were chasing a pipe dream and God had no plans for us whatsoever, people would remind me of Bible verses and bring me back in. Most recently, Ryan spoke about God's perfect timing in his sermon on Sunday. He talked about Judas handing Christ over for judgment and eventual death, and how this was no "gotcha" moment. God hadn't been suckered into this Everything - the good and the bad - falls into His plan. If I can believe that for something so horrible, I can believe it for a few months in southern China.
A few months where a number of good things have happened. I've helped begin a Bible study which clearly met the needs of a growing number of women. Lilly joined a kindergarten classroom with a wonderful group of children and a truly amazing teacher. Amanda's class has been the perfect place for our kindergartener this year. Dave stepped into a role outside of Uncle H--, as he consulted full-time for one client. As such, submitting his resignation has no real impact on many people inside his organization.
And our timing continues to be neat and tidy. My parents happen to be arriving here in a few weeks, and leaving a few days before we plan to take off. They will be a tremendous help, and I'm already thankful they will come. We hope to leave on the first day of Spring Break, making a nice clean break for both of the girls. We will arrive in D.C. just as one family of good friends will move away, but we will still live close to many other friends. Openings have just become available at an amazing preschool nearby, and a large enough apartment may be a possibility in the housing we have selected.
I must admit, the timing seems perfect.
I'm feeling nothing but excitement.
We've been planning this move for the past year now. This time last year, I expected a move to DC over the summer and began my research. I already know all of the details about our future housing, the process for shipping, and the various school options. And I had a certain faith that we were following the right course.
So, when we moved to Shenzhen over the summer rather than to D.C., my faith shook a bit. Moving was simple - none of us really expected to face another fall in Shanghai anyway. But moving inside China? Missing the chance on the Foreign Service?
It is strange to me that I will have only lived in Shenzhen for 7 months, because I came to feel at home here very quickly. I have many close friends and a strong support system, which established itself amazingly fast. A number of friends of strong Christian faith have walked alongside us, having only met me in this journey a few months ago. So, I will remember Shenzhen as a hot and welcoming place, where I questioned God's plan.
People constantly had to remind me that God has a plan for each of our lives, and that if we are diligently trying to follow that plan than we can't be straying too far from it. When I felt as if we were chasing a pipe dream and God had no plans for us whatsoever, people would remind me of Bible verses and bring me back in. Most recently, Ryan spoke about God's perfect timing in his sermon on Sunday. He talked about Judas handing Christ over for judgment and eventual death, and how this was no "gotcha" moment. God hadn't been suckered into this Everything - the good and the bad - falls into His plan. If I can believe that for something so horrible, I can believe it for a few months in southern China.
A few months where a number of good things have happened. I've helped begin a Bible study which clearly met the needs of a growing number of women. Lilly joined a kindergarten classroom with a wonderful group of children and a truly amazing teacher. Amanda's class has been the perfect place for our kindergartener this year. Dave stepped into a role outside of Uncle H--, as he consulted full-time for one client. As such, submitting his resignation has no real impact on many people inside his organization.
And our timing continues to be neat and tidy. My parents happen to be arriving here in a few weeks, and leaving a few days before we plan to take off. They will be a tremendous help, and I'm already thankful they will come. We hope to leave on the first day of Spring Break, making a nice clean break for both of the girls. We will arrive in D.C. just as one family of good friends will move away, but we will still live close to many other friends. Openings have just become available at an amazing preschool nearby, and a large enough apartment may be a possibility in the housing we have selected.
I must admit, the timing seems perfect.
Sunday, February 06, 2011
Answers to Your Questions
Now that we've let the big news settle a bit, allow me to share a bit more information with you.
Q: Did Dave get in on the Economic or Political track?
A: Dave was invited in the Economic track, making him slightly less likely to eventually become an Ambassador in the future. But only slightly. Don't worry - this will be a good fit for him, and many jobs are cross-posted. That is, many positions posted for Political Officers are also listed for Economic Officers.
Q: With Mandarin points, will you be returning to China?
A: Dave did not pass the Mandarin phone test, and so we are under no contractual obligation to ever return to China. However, as Dave does have a base in Mandarin, State may still choose to place us in China sometime soon.
Q: When will you leave?
A: This is still in flux, relying on coordination with a number of people. But at this point, we expect to leave China for Chicago around March 19th. After spending about a week in Chicago, Dave will go to D.C. and the girls and I will drive to St. Louis. I'll settle a bunch of business in St. Louis while Dave gets us settled into D.C., and then the girls and I will join him soon after.
Q: Where will you go?
A: Every Foreign Service Officer begins their job undergoing training in Washington, D.C.; so that's where we will head initially. Dave will receive a Bid List during the first week of training, essentially a list of all Entry Level Positions worldwide. We will pore over the list, do loads of quick research, and rank each post on the list. After 5 weeks of training, we'll learn where we're going for our first post - so check back at the beginning of May. Language training will follow in D.C., so we expect to be there for about 6 months in all.
Q: Will they move the family for you?
A: Yes, to a reasonable level. That is, they'll pay to fly us all to DC. If we choose to fly to Chicago instead, the rest of the travel will be on our dime. They will also pack two houses for us - so we'll get one shipment from St. Louis, and another shipment from Shenzhen. It will be on us to get all of our stuff to one of those two cities, though.
Interestingly, they will send the Shenzhen shipment in two packages. One will go via air - in government-ese this is called UAB. The UAB will meet us in D.C., and is limited to about 500 pounds for the whole family. The other shipment will go via boat - the government calls this one HHE. The weight limit is high on this one, but we don't get to access it until we're in our first post. So, we won't have The Red Chair until we're moving into our first post.
Needless to say, packing the UAB is full of big choices. How many toys and books are necessary for 3-15 months? Do we pack the clothes Annika has already outgrown, knowing that we may or may not receive Mei Mei while we're in D.C.? What pieces of our household can we live without for up to 18 months? And if we can live without them for so long, do we really need them in the first place?
Q: Where will you live?
A: While the State Department does not pay particularly well, they do take care of their officers and families. While on training, they provide a per diem that covers housing and food. They have contracted with a serviced apartment company called Oakwood to direct bill that housing. This not only saves the employee and their family loads of trouble with leases and expense reports, but also creates an immediate community within this one housing complex. So, assuming they have space available, we expect to be living in a Temporary Furnished Apartment in Falls Church, Virginia.
Q: Will the girls go to school in D.C.?
A: We're still thinking this one through. One option is to soak them in family in the Midwest for a few weeks before they even arrive in D.C., and then to keep them busy with libraries, parks and the Smithsonian for a few months. But we are also connected to two amazing early childhood programs in Northern Virginia. They each come with a steep price tag, but would help the girls transition tremendously.
We have friends who moved to Shanghai from only March through July, and they put their kids into school with Lilly and Sophia. Their kids adjusted quickly to Shanghai and had a really great experience. This anecdote makes me think the girls will transition a lot better if we enroll them immediately into school. And I sure do love the two options we're looking into. Stay posted.
Q: How long is your To Do List these days?
A: Growing at an astounding rate - and I've got no complaints.
Q: Did Dave get in on the Economic or Political track?
A: Dave was invited in the Economic track, making him slightly less likely to eventually become an Ambassador in the future. But only slightly. Don't worry - this will be a good fit for him, and many jobs are cross-posted. That is, many positions posted for Political Officers are also listed for Economic Officers.
Q: With Mandarin points, will you be returning to China?
A: Dave did not pass the Mandarin phone test, and so we are under no contractual obligation to ever return to China. However, as Dave does have a base in Mandarin, State may still choose to place us in China sometime soon.
Q: When will you leave?
A: This is still in flux, relying on coordination with a number of people. But at this point, we expect to leave China for Chicago around March 19th. After spending about a week in Chicago, Dave will go to D.C. and the girls and I will drive to St. Louis. I'll settle a bunch of business in St. Louis while Dave gets us settled into D.C., and then the girls and I will join him soon after.
Q: Where will you go?
A: Every Foreign Service Officer begins their job undergoing training in Washington, D.C.; so that's where we will head initially. Dave will receive a Bid List during the first week of training, essentially a list of all Entry Level Positions worldwide. We will pore over the list, do loads of quick research, and rank each post on the list. After 5 weeks of training, we'll learn where we're going for our first post - so check back at the beginning of May. Language training will follow in D.C., so we expect to be there for about 6 months in all.
Q: Will they move the family for you?
A: Yes, to a reasonable level. That is, they'll pay to fly us all to DC. If we choose to fly to Chicago instead, the rest of the travel will be on our dime. They will also pack two houses for us - so we'll get one shipment from St. Louis, and another shipment from Shenzhen. It will be on us to get all of our stuff to one of those two cities, though.
Interestingly, they will send the Shenzhen shipment in two packages. One will go via air - in government-ese this is called UAB. The UAB will meet us in D.C., and is limited to about 500 pounds for the whole family. The other shipment will go via boat - the government calls this one HHE. The weight limit is high on this one, but we don't get to access it until we're in our first post. So, we won't have The Red Chair until we're moving into our first post.
Needless to say, packing the UAB is full of big choices. How many toys and books are necessary for 3-15 months? Do we pack the clothes Annika has already outgrown, knowing that we may or may not receive Mei Mei while we're in D.C.? What pieces of our household can we live without for up to 18 months? And if we can live without them for so long, do we really need them in the first place?
Q: Where will you live?
A: While the State Department does not pay particularly well, they do take care of their officers and families. While on training, they provide a per diem that covers housing and food. They have contracted with a serviced apartment company called Oakwood to direct bill that housing. This not only saves the employee and their family loads of trouble with leases and expense reports, but also creates an immediate community within this one housing complex. So, assuming they have space available, we expect to be living in a Temporary Furnished Apartment in Falls Church, Virginia.
Q: Will the girls go to school in D.C.?
A: We're still thinking this one through. One option is to soak them in family in the Midwest for a few weeks before they even arrive in D.C., and then to keep them busy with libraries, parks and the Smithsonian for a few months. But we are also connected to two amazing early childhood programs in Northern Virginia. They each come with a steep price tag, but would help the girls transition tremendously.
We have friends who moved to Shanghai from only March through July, and they put their kids into school with Lilly and Sophia. Their kids adjusted quickly to Shanghai and had a really great experience. This anecdote makes me think the girls will transition a lot better if we enroll them immediately into school. And I sure do love the two options we're looking into. Stay posted.
Q: How long is your To Do List these days?
A: Growing at an astounding rate - and I've got no complaints.
Saturday, February 05, 2011
Guest Blog: A Day at Disneyland
My name is Lilly. We went to Disneyland on Friday. My favorite place is Sleeping Beauty's palace. We went to take a picture at Sleeping Beauty's castle. It was really beautiful. I wish I lived in it.
It was fun meeting the princesses. They were Cinderella and Snow White. They were so beautiful. We wish you were here to see them!
Sleeping Beauty and Snow White and Cinderella were also in the parade (Sophia "and even Belle, Lilly!"). A Toy Story float was also there. Winnie the Pooh, too.
There was a Winne the Pooh ride too, even though there wasn't any pictures that we took. That was also really fun. And a little bit scary. When we saw the rain, it was a little scary. That's when!
We rode on a ride called Space Mountain that was also pretty scary. It went really fast. It was a roller coaster but it went faster than any other roller coaster.
We're going back to the Winnie the Pooh ride now. It bounced when we met Tigger. It was windy when there was a storm. There was rain hanging up there but we didn't get any rain falling on us. We saw Winne the Pooh's dream. I can't remember what it was about. So I can't tell you!
Mickey and Minnie were really fun too. We took a picture with them. If you ask you can see it.
The End.
It was fun meeting the princesses. They were Cinderella and Snow White. They were so beautiful. We wish you were here to see them!
Sleeping Beauty and Snow White and Cinderella were also in the parade (Sophia "and even Belle, Lilly!"). A Toy Story float was also there. Winnie the Pooh, too.
There was a Winne the Pooh ride too, even though there wasn't any pictures that we took. That was also really fun. And a little bit scary. When we saw the rain, it was a little scary. That's when!
We rode on a ride called Space Mountain that was also pretty scary. It went really fast. It was a roller coaster but it went faster than any other roller coaster.
We're going back to the Winnie the Pooh ride now. It bounced when we met Tigger. It was windy when there was a storm. There was rain hanging up there but we didn't get any rain falling on us. We saw Winne the Pooh's dream. I can't remember what it was about. So I can't tell you!
Mickey and Minnie were really fun too. We took a picture with them. If you ask you can see it.
The End.
Friday, February 04, 2011
We're In!!!
Dave received an official invitation to the March 28th class for the Foreign Service.
He has, of course, accepted.
Let the adventure begin!
He has, of course, accepted.
Let the adventure begin!
Thursday, February 03, 2011
The Expat Kitchen
Living abroad has forced me to learn how to cook. In the states, one of our favorite healthy meals was a bag of salad, some canned corn and a rotisserie chicken. Yum! Pictured above is Lilly's and my new favorite healthy lunch: homemade bread, homemade yogurt and homemade jelly. Unfortunately, I can't take any credit for the jelly - it was jarred by someone in Shanghai, so I will soon finish the jar and be done with this particular flavor. But substitute chopped strawberries or pureed blueberries, and its just as tasty.I don't usually post my recipes, because I am far from being a food blogger. Plus, most of my recipes come from one of a few online sources anyway. For those who are interested, my favorite sources are Cooks Illustrated, Pioneer Woman, and older recipes on Simply Recipes. I also pull a lot out of Rachel Ray magazine, although very rarely do I use anything from her website.
But I am so proud of these two that I thought I ought to share. Thanks to Morgan for inspiring me to make bread a few years ago - this Honey Wheat Bread has been on regular weekly baking cycle in our house for a few years now. And thanks to Chana for getting me started on the yogurt - this one's new. Yogurt is so simple that I don't really have a recipe to share, but I will refer you to the link that got me cooking. SeriousEats.com seems to be a great foodie website, along the lines of Cooks Illustrated but taking itself much less seriously. They posted this fantastic yogurt-making tutorial. I add 2 t. milk powder and 1 t. almond extract (although we're still figuring the flavoring out - I'm trying a teaspoon of vanilla next time).
Honey Wheat Bread:
Makes 2 loaves, with about 12 slices each
Combine:
1/4 cup 105-115F water
2 1/4 teaspoon yeast
Allow to dissolve 3-5 min.
Combine:
1 beaten egg
1/4 cup melted butter
2 1/2 cup lukewarm water
1 1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup honey
yeast mixture above
Add:
4 cups wheat flour
up to 4 cups flour
Knead 10 minutes.
Allow to rise until doubled - I let it rise 1.5 to 2 hours
Split into 2 equal sections - rest 10 minutes.
Form into 2 loaves and rise in pans - I give it another hour or so
Bake 45 minutes at 350F - this varies dramatically by oven; at our last house, it baked for 50 minutes, and at this house it bakes for about 35.
Tuesday, February 01, 2011
Speculating on the Uncertain Future
Everyone we speak with asks one of these questions every few weeks or so. To keep y'all in the loop, here is the Current Speculation.
Foreign Service
Remember that the U.S. government hires its diplomats from five lists. Dave currently sits on two lists - Political and Economic. He has good (not great, but good) standing on each list. He has been on the Political list for about 10 months, with another 10 months to go. His position dropped dramatically on that list, but has been steadily creeping up again over the last few months. He has been on the Economic list for about 1 month, with another 17 months to go. His position is pretty good. Good, but not great.
Were the Foreign Service still hiring at last year's rates, I would feel confident of an invitation to one of this year's classes. However, the U.S. government's 2011 fiscal year continues to operate under a Continuing Resolution rather than a budget. The prevailing wisdom says that we will probably go the entire year without a budget, waiting to approve the 2012 budget instead. Speculation says that they will continue to hire diplomats, but that the hiring will slow.
Dave's good, but not great position on each list means that he is a viable contender for any class, but not a shoe-in. The next class begins in mid-May, and we're hoping for an invitation. The girls would move near the end of their school year, and potentially begin the next year in their new home. We could fly home for the summer, and on someone else's dime. We could attend Matt's wedding. And we could get started on the next phase of our lives!
Job Prospects
But, the current political climate leaves no guarantees on hiring anywhere in the federal government. Had we waited this long and still not learned it, we know now that there is no sure thing in the foreign service until your start date. Dave is now looking into Plan's B and C.
Plan B is to stay with Uncle H-- for the near future. He enjoys the work and the travel right now (although not so much the Living Apart From His Family). And he will transition this summer into a position he's excited about. That transition would pull us out of Shenzhen, either back into Shanghai or on to Singapore. At this point, it seems that we can choose between the two. Any votes?
Plan C is to make a more radical change in about a year, and so it includes staying with Uncle H-- for a while. Under this plan, Dave will begin checking out graduate programs and dream jobs to learn what would get him there. Does an economist for the Brookings Institute need a PhD in economics? Then we'd better get started on that. Currently, this plan includes lots of dreaming and research. Then it includes beefing up the resume, sending in applications, and then going broke for a few years.
Adoption
This is why Plan C must wait a year or so.
The Adoption is still on hold until Annika's 1st birthday, on May 5th. I am still hoping to push off receiving our match until the fall, when Annika would be at least 15 months old. I do not know how much control we have over this. It is possible we will receive our match in the middle of May, in which case we would need an awful lot of prayer.
Picking up Mei Mei this year would be a good reason to stay in China, either waiting out the Foreign Service or focusing more on other career options. Also, the adoption requires a certain amount of income and a certain amount of savings. Best not to cease the income and begin depletion of the savings until after Mei Mei arrives.
So, there's our uncertainty in a rather wordy nutshell. Either way, we will be leaving Shenzhen this summer. Whether to the states and a brand new career, or to Big City, Asia and excitement in the corporate world is yet to be seen. March should be our next step. I expect to know by mid-March whether or not we will move to D.C., and Dave expects to solidify our moving plans with Uncle H-- at about that time. So, look for more updates in about 1 month's time.
Foreign Service
Remember that the U.S. government hires its diplomats from five lists. Dave currently sits on two lists - Political and Economic. He has good (not great, but good) standing on each list. He has been on the Political list for about 10 months, with another 10 months to go. His position dropped dramatically on that list, but has been steadily creeping up again over the last few months. He has been on the Economic list for about 1 month, with another 17 months to go. His position is pretty good. Good, but not great.
Were the Foreign Service still hiring at last year's rates, I would feel confident of an invitation to one of this year's classes. However, the U.S. government's 2011 fiscal year continues to operate under a Continuing Resolution rather than a budget. The prevailing wisdom says that we will probably go the entire year without a budget, waiting to approve the 2012 budget instead. Speculation says that they will continue to hire diplomats, but that the hiring will slow.
Dave's good, but not great position on each list means that he is a viable contender for any class, but not a shoe-in. The next class begins in mid-May, and we're hoping for an invitation. The girls would move near the end of their school year, and potentially begin the next year in their new home. We could fly home for the summer, and on someone else's dime. We could attend Matt's wedding. And we could get started on the next phase of our lives!
Job Prospects
But, the current political climate leaves no guarantees on hiring anywhere in the federal government. Had we waited this long and still not learned it, we know now that there is no sure thing in the foreign service until your start date. Dave is now looking into Plan's B and C.
Plan B is to stay with Uncle H-- for the near future. He enjoys the work and the travel right now (although not so much the Living Apart From His Family). And he will transition this summer into a position he's excited about. That transition would pull us out of Shenzhen, either back into Shanghai or on to Singapore. At this point, it seems that we can choose between the two. Any votes?
Plan C is to make a more radical change in about a year, and so it includes staying with Uncle H-- for a while. Under this plan, Dave will begin checking out graduate programs and dream jobs to learn what would get him there. Does an economist for the Brookings Institute need a PhD in economics? Then we'd better get started on that. Currently, this plan includes lots of dreaming and research. Then it includes beefing up the resume, sending in applications, and then going broke for a few years.
Adoption
This is why Plan C must wait a year or so.
The Adoption is still on hold until Annika's 1st birthday, on May 5th. I am still hoping to push off receiving our match until the fall, when Annika would be at least 15 months old. I do not know how much control we have over this. It is possible we will receive our match in the middle of May, in which case we would need an awful lot of prayer.
Picking up Mei Mei this year would be a good reason to stay in China, either waiting out the Foreign Service or focusing more on other career options. Also, the adoption requires a certain amount of income and a certain amount of savings. Best not to cease the income and begin depletion of the savings until after Mei Mei arrives.
So, there's our uncertainty in a rather wordy nutshell. Either way, we will be leaving Shenzhen this summer. Whether to the states and a brand new career, or to Big City, Asia and excitement in the corporate world is yet to be seen. March should be our next step. I expect to know by mid-March whether or not we will move to D.C., and Dave expects to solidify our moving plans with Uncle H-- at about that time. So, look for more updates in about 1 month's time.
Showing Appreciation
Uncle H-- has a hard time telling us that he loves us.
He does provide for everything that we need, and certainly never allows us to freeze or go hungry. But he's just not very touch-feely.
For those who have not yet figured it out, Uncle H-- is this blog's moniker for Dave's employer. As expatriates, they are involved in much of the minutiae of our lives. They hold the lease to our home. They purchase our plane tickets back to the states. They pay the tuition for our childrens' school. They decide when we will have dinner together, and control when we go on vacations. And, like everyone else, they provide the wherewithal to pay our bills, insure our health, and all that normal employment jazz
And Uncle H-- handles this stuff, not smoothly, but well enough. We have what we need. In fact, we have more than we need. When we feel we need something, Uncle H-- tends to listen and then ponies up. But this uncle offers no snuggles or fuzzy feelings. Like a good Jewish mother, most things are offered with a sigh and a handful of guilt. A handful of guilt and a side of trouble. Raises have been bungled. Leases have been left unpaid. I could go on, but it would just come across as whining. My goal here is not to expose that Uncle H--'s skill in Human Resources may leave something to be desired, but to express hope and thankfulness.
After a major shake-up within the company, Dave's got a relatively new boss. This guy's got a relatively new boss, too. Apparently, they spent some time today talking about how hard Dave has been working. They came to the conclusion that he deserved a little something special, and so they're sending our family to Disneyland later this week.
Okay, maybe I'm bragging a little bit. He has been working hard, and he does deserve a Pat On The Back from Uncle H--. But more than that, it bodes well for the future (however long that may be). Current talk is to localize us in the near future - that is, to remove our expatriate compensation package. We would become responsible for rent, tuition, and annual trips to the states. If bungled, this could mean a very serious reduction in pay. But with two bosses discussing what a hard worker Dave is, I feel a little bit better about our future with this company.
He does provide for everything that we need, and certainly never allows us to freeze or go hungry. But he's just not very touch-feely.
For those who have not yet figured it out, Uncle H-- is this blog's moniker for Dave's employer. As expatriates, they are involved in much of the minutiae of our lives. They hold the lease to our home. They purchase our plane tickets back to the states. They pay the tuition for our childrens' school. They decide when we will have dinner together, and control when we go on vacations. And, like everyone else, they provide the wherewithal to pay our bills, insure our health, and all that normal employment jazz
And Uncle H-- handles this stuff, not smoothly, but well enough. We have what we need. In fact, we have more than we need. When we feel we need something, Uncle H-- tends to listen and then ponies up. But this uncle offers no snuggles or fuzzy feelings. Like a good Jewish mother, most things are offered with a sigh and a handful of guilt. A handful of guilt and a side of trouble. Raises have been bungled. Leases have been left unpaid. I could go on, but it would just come across as whining. My goal here is not to expose that Uncle H--'s skill in Human Resources may leave something to be desired, but to express hope and thankfulness.
After a major shake-up within the company, Dave's got a relatively new boss. This guy's got a relatively new boss, too. Apparently, they spent some time today talking about how hard Dave has been working. They came to the conclusion that he deserved a little something special, and so they're sending our family to Disneyland later this week.
Okay, maybe I'm bragging a little bit. He has been working hard, and he does deserve a Pat On The Back from Uncle H--. But more than that, it bodes well for the future (however long that may be). Current talk is to localize us in the near future - that is, to remove our expatriate compensation package. We would become responsible for rent, tuition, and annual trips to the states. If bungled, this could mean a very serious reduction in pay. But with two bosses discussing what a hard worker Dave is, I feel a little bit better about our future with this company.
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