My calves hurt.
Climbing up those hundreds of stairs yesterday did nothing more than make my heart pound. Climbing down, with 25 pounds strapped to my back, made my calves shudder so that I could hardly stand to eat my ice cream cone at the bottom. Today, my climbing muscles feel fine. But every time I've walked down a step, I've felt a tightness in my calves.
Our last day in Beijing, and I've realized that I've broken one of my travel-with-children rules. We are not staying near the sights. We are not staying near any of the sights. I misjudged the size and layout of Beijing, and our commutes have been nearly an hour from the hotel to each site. The drive to the Great Wall was over 2 hours. So when we climbed into the car this morning to drive 1 hour to the Temple of Heaven, the girl made their displeasure known. And the Temple of Heaven is less the large park that I expected and more an historical site. Our guide stopped often with tidbits of information - interesting to an adult, I'm sure. The girls spent plenty of time circling trees, studying leaves and griping at us for not paying them enough attention.
They and I returned to the hotel for lunch, while my parents rode a rickshaw through the old hutong housing of Beijing. The girls napped well, and we walked to a local restaurant for dinner. We walked back to the playground while my parents went to an acrobat show. Walking and playgrounds was a happy ending to their time in Beijing.
We fly early in the morning, hoping to land at Shanghai Pudong Airport within a few minutes of Dave's flight from Chicago O'Hare.
Saturday, May 31, 2008
Friday, May 30, 2008
We’re on the Great Wall of China!
At the parking lot, our guide asked if we would prefer to ride the cable cars or to walk to the top of the wall. Our crew answered immediately – we’ll walk.
He looked at the girls – the youngest at 17 months and the oldest at 2½ years old.
He looked at the adults – the youngest at 30 years and the oldest at 65 years old.
There are over 1,000 stairs to the top. A 600 meter climb. Maybe you should think about it.
We congregated.
Are you up for it?
Cause I’m up for it if you’re up for it.
Well, if you’re up for it, I’m up for it.
We made a plan.
I’d carry the backpack, and eventually one kid.
Dad would carry the cameras.
Mom would eventually carry the other kid.
We went back to our guide – We’re sure. We’ll walk.
L-- made most of the journey in the backpack, but S-- climbed quite a few of those stairs with her own two feet.
We finally made it up the last few steps and onto the wall itself. I slid down against the wall, letting L-- out of the backpack. She stood up, looked up and down the wall, and loudly proclaimed:
He looked at the girls – the youngest at 17 months and the oldest at 2½ years old.
He looked at the adults – the youngest at 30 years and the oldest at 65 years old.
There are over 1,000 stairs to the top. A 600 meter climb. Maybe you should think about it.
We congregated.
Are you up for it?
Cause I’m up for it if you’re up for it.
Well, if you’re up for it, I’m up for it.
We made a plan.
I’d carry the backpack, and eventually one kid.
Dad would carry the cameras.
Mom would eventually carry the other kid.
We went back to our guide – We’re sure. We’ll walk.
L-- made most of the journey in the backpack, but S-- climbed quite a few of those stairs with her own two feet.
We finally made it up the last few steps and onto the wall itself. I slid down against the wall, letting L-- out of the backpack. She stood up, looked up and down the wall, and loudly proclaimed:
We're on the Great Wall of China!
Thursday, May 29, 2008
Fleeced in Beijing
Those amenities which simplify our lives also tend to cost a premium. Although I am quite happy with the hotel, and would recommend it to anyone in a similar situation, I am feeling fleeced by our driver and having trouble overlooking the fact that the money is a sunk cost. His daily rate is over double the daily rate of our English speaking driver in Shanghai, and he asks us to pay his entry fee into the sights and cover the cost of his lunch. For ease and convenience, he can not be beat. But his prices are astronomical, and he nickel and dimes us on top.
Still, we are thoroughly enjoying our time in Beijing. We toured grounds of the Temple of Heaven this morning. The park is popular with retirees in the area, and the large exercise area was covered with some very fit men and women. Our guide cajoled my parents into trying everything out, and they often were guided by the locals. It was quite a sight, with the girls often trying everything out in a toddler version as well. The beautiful weather only added to the fun of playing exercise in a lovely park. The temple was lovely, and our jaunt afterward to Tiananmen Square was interesting as well. Our guide sung Mao’s praises and detailed his hatred of the Japanese – quite interesting on both counts. Mao’s tomb is a mausoleum in the middle of the square, and apparently people regular queue for hours to catch a glimpse of his entombed body.
The girls and I grabbed McDonalds and a nap back at the hotel while my parents ate hot pot for lunch and then toured the Forbidden City. We all grabbed Peking Duck for dinner. I have to assume its not the best roast duck on offer in Beijing – we gather he’s getting kickbacks from everyplace he’s taking us, hence the quick service and the ridiculous prices. So far, both of the meals he has guided us to have been by far the highest priced Chinese meals I have eaten – and the cost of living is much lower in Beijing.
We have just discovered that we can not power my laptop in our hotel room, so this must be kept brief. Hopefully we can post more tomorrow.
Still, we are thoroughly enjoying our time in Beijing. We toured grounds of the Temple of Heaven this morning. The park is popular with retirees in the area, and the large exercise area was covered with some very fit men and women. Our guide cajoled my parents into trying everything out, and they often were guided by the locals. It was quite a sight, with the girls often trying everything out in a toddler version as well. The beautiful weather only added to the fun of playing exercise in a lovely park. The temple was lovely, and our jaunt afterward to Tiananmen Square was interesting as well. Our guide sung Mao’s praises and detailed his hatred of the Japanese – quite interesting on both counts. Mao’s tomb is a mausoleum in the middle of the square, and apparently people regular queue for hours to catch a glimpse of his entombed body.
The girls and I grabbed McDonalds and a nap back at the hotel while my parents ate hot pot for lunch and then toured the Forbidden City. We all grabbed Peking Duck for dinner. I have to assume its not the best roast duck on offer in Beijing – we gather he’s getting kickbacks from everyplace he’s taking us, hence the quick service and the ridiculous prices. So far, both of the meals he has guided us to have been by far the highest priced Chinese meals I have eaten – and the cost of living is much lower in Beijing.
We have just discovered that we can not power my laptop in our hotel room, so this must be kept brief. Hopefully we can post more tomorrow.
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Grandparents in tow makes for smooth travels
As of today, my parents have been in China for 1 week. It took them about 5 days and nights to fully adjust to China time, but they both sleep through the night without fail now. They’ve touristed on toddler schedules – out around 9:00 in the morning, back by naptime, dinner usually eaten at home. And my impression is that this schedule has made China less overwhelming. Taken in small doses, and at a toddler’s speed, an adult can handle most anything. They’ve been troopers – happy to explore on their own and never seeming overwhelmed by China. They set a high standard for our coming guests to follow.
Having explored Shanghai for a week, we planned to explore Beijing this week. With the plane tickets reserved, Dave learned of a last-minute business trip. While my parents spend their time in China, Dave spends a week in Boston. A trip that our family looked forward to as a unit now became myself showing around 2 adults and 2 toddlers, being the only person with any Chinese language or cultural understanding. All of the sudden, Beijing seemed too overwhelming.
We made some quick changes.
I booked a car and driver for the entire weekend. Steve met us at the airport in a comfortable mini-van. He speaks wonderful English and has lived in Beijing his entire life. He has an itinerary set up for us which takes naptime into account. Simple.
I changed our hotel reservations to the Marriott Executive Apartments. For the same price as 2 rooms at a regular hotel, we have a 2-bedroom suite with full kitchen and quite a large living room. The hotel provides free breakfast and has already helped us to order a pizza. Simple.
The adjustment we have faced time and again is transitioning from budget travel to travel with toddlers. That adjustment is compounded by travel with toddlers and grandparents, into a rather expensive jaunt up the creek. Still, sitting at the dining room table, looking out of our 31st floor window, I feel quite comfortable that I made the right decision.
Grandparents in tow makes for smooth travels.
Not only does it nudge us toward the purchasing conveniences, which make for lush travel. But it also provides an extra set of hands. With 3 adults and 2 kids, check-in and security at the airport were a breeze. With 3 adults and 2 kids, boarding the plane did not make anyone cry. With 3 adults and 2 kids, no one ended up with their on-flight meal on their lap. Next week we travel again, and with all 4 adults. We won’t know what to do with ourselves!
Having explored Shanghai for a week, we planned to explore Beijing this week. With the plane tickets reserved, Dave learned of a last-minute business trip. While my parents spend their time in China, Dave spends a week in Boston. A trip that our family looked forward to as a unit now became myself showing around 2 adults and 2 toddlers, being the only person with any Chinese language or cultural understanding. All of the sudden, Beijing seemed too overwhelming.
We made some quick changes.
I booked a car and driver for the entire weekend. Steve met us at the airport in a comfortable mini-van. He speaks wonderful English and has lived in Beijing his entire life. He has an itinerary set up for us which takes naptime into account. Simple.
I changed our hotel reservations to the Marriott Executive Apartments. For the same price as 2 rooms at a regular hotel, we have a 2-bedroom suite with full kitchen and quite a large living room. The hotel provides free breakfast and has already helped us to order a pizza. Simple.
The adjustment we have faced time and again is transitioning from budget travel to travel with toddlers. That adjustment is compounded by travel with toddlers and grandparents, into a rather expensive jaunt up the creek. Still, sitting at the dining room table, looking out of our 31st floor window, I feel quite comfortable that I made the right decision.
Grandparents in tow makes for smooth travels.
Not only does it nudge us toward the purchasing conveniences, which make for lush travel. But it also provides an extra set of hands. With 3 adults and 2 kids, check-in and security at the airport were a breeze. With 3 adults and 2 kids, boarding the plane did not make anyone cry. With 3 adults and 2 kids, no one ended up with their on-flight meal on their lap. Next week we travel again, and with all 4 adults. We won’t know what to do with ourselves!
Monday, May 26, 2008
Biking Shanghai
Grandparents are a wonderful presence in children's lives, and the girls' are loving the extra attention. Overall, their moods are higher and they are enjoying everything a bit more. We've been joining my parents on some of their touristing, which exhausted both girls enough that we took a day off today. My parents explored China on their own - and returned in one piece - and the girls and I went about our normal routine for the day.
An added blessing of having grandparents as guests in our home is that Dave and I enjoyed a date last night with no strings attached. We did not have to be back to put the girls to bed. We did not have to wait until they'd eaten before we could leave. We did not have to return by any sort of curfew.
On a mildly steamy May evening, Dave and I took our newly acquired bikes out for a ride. We rode the busy streeets, fighting for square of pavement amongst taxis, busses, motorbikes and other riders like us. The first few blocks felt quite hectic, and the first time a taxi slammed his brakes inches from my wheels made my squeal in terror. But as we moved further into the community, the traffic lessened. We rode casually past people enjoying the cool breeze. Most apartments do not have air conditioning, and the steamy weather had pushed many people out into the open air to enjoy the breeze. Old people gathered at the exercise tables, slowly swinging their arms and watching the scene. Families walked up and down the streets, pushing children in strollers, or bouncing a ball.
We rode through Pudong - our side of the river. We rode toward Century Park - the large urban park a few miles away from our home. It turns out the park closes by 7:00 on a Sunday night, so we circled the park instead. The broad streets with trees overhanging the park-side made for a pleasant ride all the same.
The ride to the park took us through a large plaza, possibly conceived as a gathering place of some sort. On this evening, it was filled with people spinning their wheels. Young children learning to ride their bikes, older kids jumping their skateboards, adults swirling on their rollerblades, and every other combination as well. There was no set path - just people watching where they were going enough not to run into anyone else. The scene felt chaotically enjoyable, and certainly not dangerous.
Shanghai traffic much resembles that plaza of spinning wheels. People obey traffic laws only when the occasion suits them. We watch an intersection from our balcony, and people blow through the red light more often than not. People pass on the left or on the right, and whether or not sufficient room exists. People play chicken, daring you to let them by.
We rode through the plaza last night with our heads held high, watching everyone moving around us. Alert, but with no fear that we would crash - everyone else was on their alert as well. Everyone drives the same way - alert, uninhibited, but with no intention of crashing. Crossing a busy street sometimes feels stressful, but it no longer feels particularly dangerous.
An added blessing of having grandparents as guests in our home is that Dave and I enjoyed a date last night with no strings attached. We did not have to be back to put the girls to bed. We did not have to wait until they'd eaten before we could leave. We did not have to return by any sort of curfew.
On a mildly steamy May evening, Dave and I took our newly acquired bikes out for a ride. We rode the busy streeets, fighting for square of pavement amongst taxis, busses, motorbikes and other riders like us. The first few blocks felt quite hectic, and the first time a taxi slammed his brakes inches from my wheels made my squeal in terror. But as we moved further into the community, the traffic lessened. We rode casually past people enjoying the cool breeze. Most apartments do not have air conditioning, and the steamy weather had pushed many people out into the open air to enjoy the breeze. Old people gathered at the exercise tables, slowly swinging their arms and watching the scene. Families walked up and down the streets, pushing children in strollers, or bouncing a ball.
We rode through Pudong - our side of the river. We rode toward Century Park - the large urban park a few miles away from our home. It turns out the park closes by 7:00 on a Sunday night, so we circled the park instead. The broad streets with trees overhanging the park-side made for a pleasant ride all the same.
The ride to the park took us through a large plaza, possibly conceived as a gathering place of some sort. On this evening, it was filled with people spinning their wheels. Young children learning to ride their bikes, older kids jumping their skateboards, adults swirling on their rollerblades, and every other combination as well. There was no set path - just people watching where they were going enough not to run into anyone else. The scene felt chaotically enjoyable, and certainly not dangerous.
Shanghai traffic much resembles that plaza of spinning wheels. People obey traffic laws only when the occasion suits them. We watch an intersection from our balcony, and people blow through the red light more often than not. People pass on the left or on the right, and whether or not sufficient room exists. People play chicken, daring you to let them by.
We rode through the plaza last night with our heads held high, watching everyone moving around us. Alert, but with no fear that we would crash - everyone else was on their alert as well. Everyone drives the same way - alert, uninhibited, but with no intention of crashing. Crossing a busy street sometimes feels stressful, but it no longer feels particularly dangerous.
Thursday, May 22, 2008
The Reunion
My parents arrived in Shanghai yesterday.
The girls both looked at their grandparents in awe when we saw them at the airport. This partly caused by the time span since they last saw Nana and Poppa, but also because they'd just been woken from a too-short nap on the drive out. S-- spent the rest of the day with a close eye on her grandparents. She had no fond memory to associate with them, as L-- does. It was more as if she expected Clifford or Big Bird to show up next - these are just characters we watch on the computer once a week.
L--, on the other hand, has easy and fond memories of her grandparents and was thrilled to see them. She spent the evening showing off her toes, introducing her stuffed animals, and displaying the sights out her window.
Both girls slept long and hard last night.
Today, S-- has very little memory of her grandparents, but is warming up to having new people in the house all day. She is a social girl, and happiest when surrounded by people. L--, on the other hand, is much more introverted. We generally see other people for 2-3 hours in a day. Dealing with people all day long may be a challenge for her. But certainly one she finds worth it - she loves following them around, asking them to read stories, and splashing in the fountains with her grandparents.
I think it will be a fun - although certainly exhausting - 3 weeks for all of us.
The girls both looked at their grandparents in awe when we saw them at the airport. This partly caused by the time span since they last saw Nana and Poppa, but also because they'd just been woken from a too-short nap on the drive out. S-- spent the rest of the day with a close eye on her grandparents. She had no fond memory to associate with them, as L-- does. It was more as if she expected Clifford or Big Bird to show up next - these are just characters we watch on the computer once a week.
L--, on the other hand, has easy and fond memories of her grandparents and was thrilled to see them. She spent the evening showing off her toes, introducing her stuffed animals, and displaying the sights out her window.
Both girls slept long and hard last night.
Today, S-- has very little memory of her grandparents, but is warming up to having new people in the house all day. She is a social girl, and happiest when surrounded by people. L--, on the other hand, is much more introverted. We generally see other people for 2-3 hours in a day. Dealing with people all day long may be a challenge for her. But certainly one she finds worth it - she loves following them around, asking them to read stories, and splashing in the fountains with her grandparents.
I think it will be a fun - although certainly exhausting - 3 weeks for all of us.
Monday, May 19, 2008
Moment of Silence
We live on a very busy corner. Our apartment faces the interesction of two major streets. Picture 4 roads intersecting just outside our windows.
The first road is entirely under construction. From our balcony, we can see into the hole taking up most of this 5-lane road. It is so deep, we can not see to the bottom. They are building a tunnel under the river, and their access point is in the middle of this first road. From our balcony, we watch workers coming and going, carrying things and dropping them. We listen to jackhammers and heavy trucks. These workers never get a day off, and are only allowed a few hours rest - somewhere between 2:00am and 5:00am. The noise, and the dust, are relentless.
The second road leads straight to the ferry station on the river. Two ferries leave alternately from this station, carrying walkers, bikers and motorbikers. A steady stream moves in and out of the station. Between our intersection and the ferry station, the street has become a bus station. At least 10 busses wait in the street at any given time - more as the night deepens. People run to catch their busses, climb on and off, and peddle street food. Busses putter and spurt, making continuous noise throughout the day.
The third and fourth roads carry all of the traffic leaving these 3 destinations - the construction site, the ferry station and the bus station. Traffic zooms past at full speed, often entirely ignoring the stoplight. Trucks carry construction materials to the buildings that share our intersection - across the street, a complex of 7 buildings is being constructed.
We live on a noisy, busy corner. And our home is no worse than any other in Shanghai. Construction happens everywhere, and at breakneck pace. We have heard that the majority of cranes in the world are in use in the city of Shanghai. I have no doubt.
So, when the Chinese government declared a Moment of Silence at 2:28pm - 1 week to the minute after last week's earthquake - I was skeptical. It seemed like an empty gesture. Moments of silence in America are generally only observed by people in goverment buildings - banks and schools, primarily. Not many people in China spend time in banks or schools. The vast majority of people in Shanghai seem always to be on the streets, masses or people moving from one place to another. And in such a noisy city. I scoffed at the idea. Furthermore, they made the declaration yesterday afternoon. How could they communicate this effectively?
At 2:28 this afternoon, horns began to blow outside our window. L-- and I stood on the balcony. We watched and we listened. And I was amazed. Within 15 seconds, more horns were blowing than I could find vehicles for. The construction sites were whistling, as was every boat on the river. But in such a noisy location, the smooth constancy of this sound was more like music.
And slowly, everything stopped.
All of the workers put down what they carried, and moved toward the edge of their work site. Taxis pulled to a stop in the middle of the street. Bikes and motorbikes curbed on the corner. Not a boat moved across the river.
The sight was overwhelming. It was as if the city of Shanghai, possibly the entire country of China, had become a temple. The sounds of the city played a requiem in smooth unison. In an aetheistic country, I'm not sure that everyone said a prayer. But everyone took a solemn moment to remember.
The first road is entirely under construction. From our balcony, we can see into the hole taking up most of this 5-lane road. It is so deep, we can not see to the bottom. They are building a tunnel under the river, and their access point is in the middle of this first road. From our balcony, we watch workers coming and going, carrying things and dropping them. We listen to jackhammers and heavy trucks. These workers never get a day off, and are only allowed a few hours rest - somewhere between 2:00am and 5:00am. The noise, and the dust, are relentless.
The second road leads straight to the ferry station on the river. Two ferries leave alternately from this station, carrying walkers, bikers and motorbikers. A steady stream moves in and out of the station. Between our intersection and the ferry station, the street has become a bus station. At least 10 busses wait in the street at any given time - more as the night deepens. People run to catch their busses, climb on and off, and peddle street food. Busses putter and spurt, making continuous noise throughout the day.
The third and fourth roads carry all of the traffic leaving these 3 destinations - the construction site, the ferry station and the bus station. Traffic zooms past at full speed, often entirely ignoring the stoplight. Trucks carry construction materials to the buildings that share our intersection - across the street, a complex of 7 buildings is being constructed.
We live on a noisy, busy corner. And our home is no worse than any other in Shanghai. Construction happens everywhere, and at breakneck pace. We have heard that the majority of cranes in the world are in use in the city of Shanghai. I have no doubt.
So, when the Chinese government declared a Moment of Silence at 2:28pm - 1 week to the minute after last week's earthquake - I was skeptical. It seemed like an empty gesture. Moments of silence in America are generally only observed by people in goverment buildings - banks and schools, primarily. Not many people in China spend time in banks or schools. The vast majority of people in Shanghai seem always to be on the streets, masses or people moving from one place to another. And in such a noisy city. I scoffed at the idea. Furthermore, they made the declaration yesterday afternoon. How could they communicate this effectively?
At 2:28 this afternoon, horns began to blow outside our window. L-- and I stood on the balcony. We watched and we listened. And I was amazed. Within 15 seconds, more horns were blowing than I could find vehicles for. The construction sites were whistling, as was every boat on the river. But in such a noisy location, the smooth constancy of this sound was more like music.
And slowly, everything stopped.
All of the workers put down what they carried, and moved toward the edge of their work site. Taxis pulled to a stop in the middle of the street. Bikes and motorbikes curbed on the corner. Not a boat moved across the river.
The sight was overwhelming. It was as if the city of Shanghai, possibly the entire country of China, had become a temple. The sounds of the city played a requiem in smooth unison. In an aetheistic country, I'm not sure that everyone said a prayer. But everyone took a solemn moment to remember.
Sunday, May 18, 2008
On the Ground Reporting
I am connected to someone whose husband is currently in the earthquake zone. She has relayed to our group his story. As it is so different from the stories put out by the Chinese news agencies, and presumably also by the foreign media, I thought it worth posting.
In a related note, I found a very interesting column on the political situation surrounding the earthquake at http://pajamasmedia.com/blog/chinas-political-earthquake/ . The Chinese government has not only failed to rescue the thousands of people in the aftermath of this quake, but people are fully aware that a lack of zoning codes and building restrictions led to the construction of hundreds of thousands of buildings ensured to crumble under an earthquake.
"My husband is from Chengdu and he flew there on Tuesday to help out. He
has been in the hard-hit villages in the mountains this whole week. He did bring
a whole bunch of medical supplies, including antibiotics, with him and handed it
out to people... Another thing that may be needed is baby formula. In one
of the villages, there was a 17 day old baby whose mother was killed in the quake. They had no formula whatsoever The entire village was destroyed. My husband said it was a ghost town. He managed to get that baby into a helicopter headed to Chengdu, but he also went to buy some formula to give to the babies there."Even though you see all these clips on TV about the search and rescue
process that is supposed to be going on, my husband has told me that this is not
really true in many areas. He said that many places have completely stopped the
search and rescue, and that the military and rescue personnel have been sent
away. Even though he arrived in the mountains on Wednesday, he said that
there were really not that many teams there yet, and most of the people were
sitting around the whole time not doing anything. He said it was really chaotic,
nobody knew what to do, everybody was waiting around to follow the orders of
their leaders (and obviously weren't really getting any orders). Even
though lots of military were sent to the mountains, their job was just to clear
or barricade the roads. They did not help with search and rescue. Only the
firemen were authorized to do that, and they were also the only ones with
equipment to do that with. He said he was really disappointed in what he saw up
there."Also, as the military and firemen were sent home yesterday, they were
required to delete all of the photos they took while up in the mountains. The
officials also won't let any private parties, companies, etc go up there to help
out anymore, and reporters are also being restricted now. Overall, my husband
does not feel this was a very successful search and rescue effort, and feels it
did not look at all like what they have been showing on TV. He says in many of
those mountain areas, they gave up on finding survivors 1-2 days ago. Such a pity."
In a related note, I found a very interesting column on the political situation surrounding the earthquake at http://pajamasmedia.com/blog/chinas-political-earthquake/ . The Chinese government has not only failed to rescue the thousands of people in the aftermath of this quake, but people are fully aware that a lack of zoning codes and building restrictions led to the construction of hundreds of thousands of buildings ensured to crumble under an earthquake.
Thursday, May 15, 2008
News Digest
I've posted a few items recently which deserve follow-up.
THE EARTHQUAKE
You probably have more news than we do. We've gotten a few first hand accounts from friends whose family or ayi's family live in the region, but precious little news is trickling out. You've heard the horrendous numbers. Tens of thousands dead, more missing, more homeless or orphaned. We watch news coverage in Chinese - the photos are arguably more powerful without narration.
THE MOVE
We have decided to wait until August to move. This allows us to stay in our home over the summer, enjoying our outdoor swimming pools, our fountains, our playgrounds, and our friends. This has relieved a lot of my stress, and gives us a summer to look forward to before moving on to the next stage in life.
THE WONDER CENTER
Our family went to school this morning. L-- spent a trial day at school, and we all tagged along for moral support. She loved it, and only spent the first hour or so by our sides. By the time we left, I had to coax her away from playing with her new friends. She's going to be fine, and we've made a wonderful choice in schools. It will break my heart to lose her company every day, but we will so enjoy watching her blossom.
THE EXPANSION
We have decided to investigate adopting a girl from China. Our understanding is that the process take about 15 months, once a family has lived in China for at least 1 year. Our anniversary is mid-September, so our goal is to have our paperwork entirely in place by that date. Our hope is to have a little Mei Mei by Christmas of 2009.
THE GUESTROOM
Join the drama! Our B&B still has slots open over the summer!
THE EARTHQUAKE
You probably have more news than we do. We've gotten a few first hand accounts from friends whose family or ayi's family live in the region, but precious little news is trickling out. You've heard the horrendous numbers. Tens of thousands dead, more missing, more homeless or orphaned. We watch news coverage in Chinese - the photos are arguably more powerful without narration.
THE MOVE
We have decided to wait until August to move. This allows us to stay in our home over the summer, enjoying our outdoor swimming pools, our fountains, our playgrounds, and our friends. This has relieved a lot of my stress, and gives us a summer to look forward to before moving on to the next stage in life.
THE WONDER CENTER
Our family went to school this morning. L-- spent a trial day at school, and we all tagged along for moral support. She loved it, and only spent the first hour or so by our sides. By the time we left, I had to coax her away from playing with her new friends. She's going to be fine, and we've made a wonderful choice in schools. It will break my heart to lose her company every day, but we will so enjoy watching her blossom.
THE EXPANSION
We have decided to investigate adopting a girl from China. Our understanding is that the process take about 15 months, once a family has lived in China for at least 1 year. Our anniversary is mid-September, so our goal is to have our paperwork entirely in place by that date. Our hope is to have a little Mei Mei by Christmas of 2009.
THE GUESTROOM
Join the drama! Our B&B still has slots open over the summer!
Taxonomy
September and October: Adventure
These 6 weeks were taken over with the adventure of finding our way around this huge, foreign city, connecting with new people and finding a home.
November: Settling In
This month was loads of fun - unpacking boxes, shopping, and meeting people every where we went.
December: Hell
A strong contender for the worst month of my life. I couldn't make anything work. The girls and I were very sick for nearly the whole month - a sickness which I later learned tended to cause depression and mental anxiety among most patients. We spent our first Christmas away from family and friends. All of our new friends had left Shanghai - to spend Christmas with their family and friends. And Dave's job had just become more than he bargained for. I was dealing on my own.
January: Positive By Will
I willed myself through the month, with the knowledge that any problem can be fixed, and that I would be in the states within 1 month. We made many improvements, including starting a playgroup which I still love.
February: Home in America
I loved being home, surrounded by people who know me and care about me. Who I know and care about. We felt like members of a community and a family again.
March: Home in China
Upon our return, we realized that we are members of a community here as well. I realized that I have friends here, who I was glad to see. I realized that our physical home is here, and I was glad to sleep in my own bed. For better or for worse, this is our home.
April: Mundane
With the acceptance that I was home, and most of our problems fixed - the hiring of an ayi and a driver - this month moved along without much event.
May: Stuck, Uncomfortable and Stressed
After a mundane month, and with no travel for nearly 6 weeks, we're all beginning to feel a bit stressed. Shanghai is a crowded city, and being surrounded by crowds of very different people can wear on a person after a while. Besides simply needing to get out of town, it has been a generally hard month. We are without an ayi again, after firing one who had very poor boundaries. We have begun potty training, with miserable results. And I have received the worst haircut of my life. I asked for shoulder length hair with long layers. My hair is now shorter than my ears. I've worn a hat every waking moment since I left the salon.
These 6 weeks were taken over with the adventure of finding our way around this huge, foreign city, connecting with new people and finding a home.
November: Settling In
This month was loads of fun - unpacking boxes, shopping, and meeting people every where we went.
December: Hell
A strong contender for the worst month of my life. I couldn't make anything work. The girls and I were very sick for nearly the whole month - a sickness which I later learned tended to cause depression and mental anxiety among most patients. We spent our first Christmas away from family and friends. All of our new friends had left Shanghai - to spend Christmas with their family and friends. And Dave's job had just become more than he bargained for. I was dealing on my own.
January: Positive By Will
I willed myself through the month, with the knowledge that any problem can be fixed, and that I would be in the states within 1 month. We made many improvements, including starting a playgroup which I still love.
February: Home in America
I loved being home, surrounded by people who know me and care about me. Who I know and care about. We felt like members of a community and a family again.
March: Home in China
Upon our return, we realized that we are members of a community here as well. I realized that I have friends here, who I was glad to see. I realized that our physical home is here, and I was glad to sleep in my own bed. For better or for worse, this is our home.
April: Mundane
With the acceptance that I was home, and most of our problems fixed - the hiring of an ayi and a driver - this month moved along without much event.
May: Stuck, Uncomfortable and Stressed
After a mundane month, and with no travel for nearly 6 weeks, we're all beginning to feel a bit stressed. Shanghai is a crowded city, and being surrounded by crowds of very different people can wear on a person after a while. Besides simply needing to get out of town, it has been a generally hard month. We are without an ayi again, after firing one who had very poor boundaries. We have begun potty training, with miserable results. And I have received the worst haircut of my life. I asked for shoulder length hair with long layers. My hair is now shorter than my ears. I've worn a hat every waking moment since I left the salon.
Monday, May 12, 2008
Strong China Quake Rattles East Asia
take from CNN.com - http://edition.cnn.com/2008/WORLD/asiapcf/05/12/china.quake/
BEIJING, China (CNN) -- An earthquake capable of causing major damage shook
central China Monday, according to the U.S. Geological Survey.
It registered a magnitude of 7.5, the survey said.
"This is a very dangerous earthquake," said Bruce Presgrave, a geophysicist with the U.S. Geological Survey.
The quake has the potential to cause major damage because of its strength and
proximity to major population centers, he said. The epicenter is about 62 miles
(100 km) from Chengdu, a city of about two million people, in the eastern part
of China's Sichuan province.
In addition, the earthquake was relatively shallow, Presgrave said, and those kinds of quakes tend to do more damage near the epicenter than deeper ones.
The ground shook in Beijing, which is 950 miles (1,528km) from the epicenter. They felt "a very quiet rolling sensation" that lasted for about a minute, according to CNN correspondent John Vause.
"Our building began to sway," he said.
The earthquake was also felt in Hong Kong, Shanghai, Taiwan, and as far away as Hanoi, Vietnam, and Bangkok, Thailand, according to the Hong Kong-based Mandarin-language channel Phoenix TV.
There were no immediate reports about the extent of damage or casualties
from the earthquake, which happened at 2:28 p.m. local time (2:28 a.m. ET.)
Breaking News
Apparently Shanghai just experienced an earthquake.
When I did a google search for "Shanghai earthquake" it brought up stories from 2003, so no news yet. Interestingly, those stories were about how most buildings in Shanghai are not earthquake-proof.
It seems that our home is. On the 12th floor, I had no idea that we'd gone through an earthquake. I was in the midst of firing ayi #2 - after only 15 minutes.
It seems that Dave's office is, although maybe only barely. On the 36th floor, as he describes it, he felt strong vertigo - as if the room was spinning. Then he realized that the room was spinning - the whole building was swaying, and immediately evacuated.
Everyone is safe - no collapse. In fact, from his vanatage point on a busy street in the heart of Shanghai, there is no damage. People stepping out of taxis into the throngs emptying the skyscrapers had no idea of the earthquake either.
As an interesting sidenote, it seems that earthquakes have struck nearly half of our family over the past few months - and none of us in typical earthquake zones (Cambridge, UK; St. Louis, MO; now Shanghai, China)
When I did a google search for "Shanghai earthquake" it brought up stories from 2003, so no news yet. Interestingly, those stories were about how most buildings in Shanghai are not earthquake-proof.
It seems that our home is. On the 12th floor, I had no idea that we'd gone through an earthquake. I was in the midst of firing ayi #2 - after only 15 minutes.
It seems that Dave's office is, although maybe only barely. On the 36th floor, as he describes it, he felt strong vertigo - as if the room was spinning. Then he realized that the room was spinning - the whole building was swaying, and immediately evacuated.
Everyone is safe - no collapse. In fact, from his vanatage point on a busy street in the heart of Shanghai, there is no damage. People stepping out of taxis into the throngs emptying the skyscrapers had no idea of the earthquake either.
As an interesting sidenote, it seems that earthquakes have struck nearly half of our family over the past few months - and none of us in typical earthquake zones (Cambridge, UK; St. Louis, MO; now Shanghai, China)
Friday, May 09, 2008
One of "Them"
Fired.
I fired my ayi this afternoon.
I've written about it before - how expat women will fire their ayis at the drop of a hat. I know women who have gone through 5 ayis in as many months. I was appalled at their lack of consideration for the women they hired. Firing someone ought to be a last resort, right? Once you hire an employee, both sides work hard to ensure that its a good fit. If an employee makes a mistake, a good manager approaches the employee, teaches them a lesson through the mistake, and everyone moves on as a better person.
I am the woman who fired an ayi after only 2 months.
Sadly, the ideal is not how the ayi-expat relationship works.
First, there's the market:
Shanghai has loads of ayis, and loads of people looking for ayis. The market moves swiftly. Our ayi left this afternoon, and another will probably start on Monday. Likewise, our ayi should not have any trouble finding a new job. There are loads of people seeking ayis. This quickly flowing exchange of people is common - our ayi asked nothing but for her pay, and a picture of the family.
Second, there's communication.
In my work experience, I would have every right to be angry if someone fired me without first explaining to me my mistakes and giving me a chance to improve. Hiring someone who does not speak your language - and likewise, deciding to work for someone who does not speak your language - you forfeit this ability. I showed her what I expect. Her ability to meet my expectations lies solely in her ability, because neither of us has the language to be able to dialogue in constructive criticism.
Third, there's interviews and talent.
Ability is quite difficult to judge in an interview. What can you ask an ayi in an hour, that will determine their skill as a housekeeper and nanny? The only good question drives at their experience, and since references won't be sought, this could easily be fabricated. The only way to interview an ayi is to put her to work. And choosing to work for someone who doesn't speak her language, an ayi must rely upon her skill as a cleaner and nanny, rather than specific instructions and constructive criticism.
My mistake was in keeping her as long as I did. An interview accomplishes very little, but a trial period ought only to run 1 week. If the ayi has not figured out your needs and routines within that week, become comfortable with the family and the children, then her talent is not in ayi-ing.
We will begin a new process on Monday, with open eyes and full knowledge of what I expect from an ayi. I hope that we will not be searching for the next few months!
I fired my ayi this afternoon.
I've written about it before - how expat women will fire their ayis at the drop of a hat. I know women who have gone through 5 ayis in as many months. I was appalled at their lack of consideration for the women they hired. Firing someone ought to be a last resort, right? Once you hire an employee, both sides work hard to ensure that its a good fit. If an employee makes a mistake, a good manager approaches the employee, teaches them a lesson through the mistake, and everyone moves on as a better person.
I am the woman who fired an ayi after only 2 months.
Sadly, the ideal is not how the ayi-expat relationship works.
First, there's the market:
Shanghai has loads of ayis, and loads of people looking for ayis. The market moves swiftly. Our ayi left this afternoon, and another will probably start on Monday. Likewise, our ayi should not have any trouble finding a new job. There are loads of people seeking ayis. This quickly flowing exchange of people is common - our ayi asked nothing but for her pay, and a picture of the family.
Second, there's communication.
In my work experience, I would have every right to be angry if someone fired me without first explaining to me my mistakes and giving me a chance to improve. Hiring someone who does not speak your language - and likewise, deciding to work for someone who does not speak your language - you forfeit this ability. I showed her what I expect. Her ability to meet my expectations lies solely in her ability, because neither of us has the language to be able to dialogue in constructive criticism.
Third, there's interviews and talent.
Ability is quite difficult to judge in an interview. What can you ask an ayi in an hour, that will determine their skill as a housekeeper and nanny? The only good question drives at their experience, and since references won't be sought, this could easily be fabricated. The only way to interview an ayi is to put her to work. And choosing to work for someone who doesn't speak her language, an ayi must rely upon her skill as a cleaner and nanny, rather than specific instructions and constructive criticism.
My mistake was in keeping her as long as I did. An interview accomplishes very little, but a trial period ought only to run 1 week. If the ayi has not figured out your needs and routines within that week, become comfortable with the family and the children, then her talent is not in ayi-ing.
We will begin a new process on Monday, with open eyes and full knowledge of what I expect from an ayi. I hope that we will not be searching for the next few months!
Monday, May 05, 2008
Negative
We took a pregnancy test this week.
The test was precipitated by a hunch, and nothing more. And so the negative (not pregnant) result came as no surprise.
But this small test has started some interesting conversations in our family.
Had you asked us 1-2 years ago, we would have told you our plan. Deliver 2 biological children, and then adopt more children through the American foster system. Focus on adopting sibling groups, and try to keep all of our children relatively close in age.
Had you asked us 4 weeks ago, we would have had another plan. Finish our contract here in Shanghai, probably extending it to move at the end of a school year. Then accept another expat assignment, possibly in Mumbai, India. Expect to move back to the states at the completion of that project, and settle down into providing a more stable home for our older children.
Unfortunately, the timing on these two plans does not merge as well as we would like, which calls them both into question. This has led to some very interesting conversations in our household. It has also caused us to begin some research, which has led to more interesting conversations.
Apparently, adopting a Chinese baby can take up to 4 years from beginning to end of the process. By the time we had a baby in custody, we would no longer live in China.
Apparently, adopting an Indian baby is quite difficult, if not impossible, for families lacking Indian ethnicity.
Apparently, adopting from most other Asian countries can be fraught with difficulty. Original documents can be hard to find. Orphan status can be difficult to trace. Medical records may not exist. Local police can be quite difficult. The United States does not recommend adopting from many of the countries surrounding either China or India, and most of the remaining nations aren't offering their orphans.
We do not want to get pregnant again, but we do want to grow our family. It seems that our options are only 3:
1 - to begin the process of adopting a Chinese baby soon;
2 - to wait to grow our family until we return to the U.S., when our girls may be middle elementary school aged; or
3 - to hasten our return to the states and begin fostering.
We'll keep you posted.
The test was precipitated by a hunch, and nothing more. And so the negative (not pregnant) result came as no surprise.
But this small test has started some interesting conversations in our family.
Had you asked us 1-2 years ago, we would have told you our plan. Deliver 2 biological children, and then adopt more children through the American foster system. Focus on adopting sibling groups, and try to keep all of our children relatively close in age.
Had you asked us 4 weeks ago, we would have had another plan. Finish our contract here in Shanghai, probably extending it to move at the end of a school year. Then accept another expat assignment, possibly in Mumbai, India. Expect to move back to the states at the completion of that project, and settle down into providing a more stable home for our older children.
Unfortunately, the timing on these two plans does not merge as well as we would like, which calls them both into question. This has led to some very interesting conversations in our household. It has also caused us to begin some research, which has led to more interesting conversations.
Apparently, adopting a Chinese baby can take up to 4 years from beginning to end of the process. By the time we had a baby in custody, we would no longer live in China.
Apparently, adopting an Indian baby is quite difficult, if not impossible, for families lacking Indian ethnicity.
Apparently, adopting from most other Asian countries can be fraught with difficulty. Original documents can be hard to find. Orphan status can be difficult to trace. Medical records may not exist. Local police can be quite difficult. The United States does not recommend adopting from many of the countries surrounding either China or India, and most of the remaining nations aren't offering their orphans.
We do not want to get pregnant again, but we do want to grow our family. It seems that our options are only 3:
1 - to begin the process of adopting a Chinese baby soon;
2 - to wait to grow our family until we return to the U.S., when our girls may be middle elementary school aged; or
3 - to hasten our return to the states and begin fostering.
We'll keep you posted.
Sunday, May 04, 2008
Groundhog Day
This is my second Monday in a row.
Last Thursday, China observed Labor Day. Previously, the country observed this holiday over 3 days. The entire country would travel, , leading to crowded conditions and late transport everywhere. In an effort to make everyone's lives easier, the government changed Labor Day to a one day holiday this year, and added two more 1 day holidays over the course of the year.
Although we are all for more long weekends, the logistics of this one were less than ideal. Labor Day was May 1st. May 1st was a Thursday. In America, a holiday weekend beginning on Thursday would be changed one of two ways - either Friday would also be a holiday (result: a 4-day weekend), or the holiday would be observed on Friday (result: work Thursday, then a 3-day weekend).
China took a different approach.
The country observed the holiday on Thursday.
And everyone went back to work on Sunday.
In order to have a 3-day weekend, the country has everyone working a 6-day week.
My head can not adjust to this change.
We skype with my parents every Tuesday morning at 9:00. We just spent 20 minutes trying to call them, not understanding why they wouldn't answer the ring. It was only after I received an email from my mom saying talk to you tomorrow! that I realized - its only Monday!
I have arranged deliveries wrong, made plans for the wrong day, and generally made a mess of my head.
This is not a new phenomenon in China. The major holidays are traditionally 3-day holidays, where everyone works on both Saturday and Sunday the week prior to have 7 work-free days in a row. So far we have managed to these long work weeks, and I think we'll do our best to travel over them in the future as well.
Last Thursday, China observed Labor Day. Previously, the country observed this holiday over 3 days. The entire country would travel, , leading to crowded conditions and late transport everywhere. In an effort to make everyone's lives easier, the government changed Labor Day to a one day holiday this year, and added two more 1 day holidays over the course of the year.
Although we are all for more long weekends, the logistics of this one were less than ideal. Labor Day was May 1st. May 1st was a Thursday. In America, a holiday weekend beginning on Thursday would be changed one of two ways - either Friday would also be a holiday (result: a 4-day weekend), or the holiday would be observed on Friday (result: work Thursday, then a 3-day weekend).
China took a different approach.
The country observed the holiday on Thursday.
And everyone went back to work on Sunday.
In order to have a 3-day weekend, the country has everyone working a 6-day week.
My head can not adjust to this change.
We skype with my parents every Tuesday morning at 9:00. We just spent 20 minutes trying to call them, not understanding why they wouldn't answer the ring. It was only after I received an email from my mom saying talk to you tomorrow! that I realized - its only Monday!
I have arranged deliveries wrong, made plans for the wrong day, and generally made a mess of my head.
This is not a new phenomenon in China. The major holidays are traditionally 3-day holidays, where everyone works on both Saturday and Sunday the week prior to have 7 work-free days in a row. So far we have managed to these long work weeks, and I think we'll do our best to travel over them in the future as well.
Thursday, May 01, 2008
Potty Training, China style
Day #1 with no diapers.
L-- has embarked upon the road toward Big Girl-dom. She has not worn a diaper since last night. And yes, our floor has seen its fair share of pee today. She's a bit opposed to using the potty - so far we've changed clothes 4 times.
In the lovely Shanghai spring, we spent the afternoon playing outside, picnicking, and frolicking in the fountains. Dave left our party bit early to meet some friends for a tennis match, outside our complex. The girls and I walked home 20 minutes later, only to remember that in Daddy's pocket were the following: my key, my keycard, my cell phone, my wallet.
S-- rather gamely fell asleep in her stroller, and L-- and I passed the time (3 hours) in the warm spring air, talking, singing and dancing to ourselves. Until the undeniable need hit L--.
I need to go potty.
The first time all day that she has felt the urge, stopped herself long enough to tell me, and then waited until arriving at the appropriate place.
And we were locked out of our home.
Now, for the unitiated, Chinese people do not potty train their children the way Westerners do. There are not diapers on Chinese children. There are pants with holes in the bottoms; little children walking around with their private parts displayed for the world to see. When they feel the urge, little Chinese children just squat on the grass and let nature take its course.
For the most part, this disgusts us.
Today, I thanked my lucky stars to be potty training in China.
We raced to a grassy spot near a line of bushes. I created a triangle - 1 side bushes, 1 side stroller, 1 side myself. And I taught L-- the all important skill of squatting. She performed quite well, and then offered to wipe the grass when she finished.
Not even a sideways glance - what we did was perfectly normal. In fact, moving away from the sidewalk and creating a barrier made our actions a bit absurd.
We truly are raising a Chinese child.
L-- has embarked upon the road toward Big Girl-dom. She has not worn a diaper since last night. And yes, our floor has seen its fair share of pee today. She's a bit opposed to using the potty - so far we've changed clothes 4 times.
In the lovely Shanghai spring, we spent the afternoon playing outside, picnicking, and frolicking in the fountains. Dave left our party bit early to meet some friends for a tennis match, outside our complex. The girls and I walked home 20 minutes later, only to remember that in Daddy's pocket were the following: my key, my keycard, my cell phone, my wallet.
S-- rather gamely fell asleep in her stroller, and L-- and I passed the time (3 hours) in the warm spring air, talking, singing and dancing to ourselves. Until the undeniable need hit L--.
I need to go potty.
The first time all day that she has felt the urge, stopped herself long enough to tell me, and then waited until arriving at the appropriate place.
And we were locked out of our home.
Now, for the unitiated, Chinese people do not potty train their children the way Westerners do. There are not diapers on Chinese children. There are pants with holes in the bottoms; little children walking around with their private parts displayed for the world to see. When they feel the urge, little Chinese children just squat on the grass and let nature take its course.
For the most part, this disgusts us.
Today, I thanked my lucky stars to be potty training in China.
We raced to a grassy spot near a line of bushes. I created a triangle - 1 side bushes, 1 side stroller, 1 side myself. And I taught L-- the all important skill of squatting. She performed quite well, and then offered to wipe the grass when she finished.
Not even a sideways glance - what we did was perfectly normal. In fact, moving away from the sidewalk and creating a barrier made our actions a bit absurd.
We truly are raising a Chinese child.
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