Monday, February 02, 2009

Returning Home

We arrived home on Sunday evening, and my head has been so many places since that I fear this will not be a very cohesive post.  Still, in the spirit of a journal, I feel I must post where my head has been these long few days.

Sleep
During the 14 hour plane ride, none of us slept more than 2 hours.  We arrived at home with a very tired 3-year-old and a nearly incoherent 2-year-old.  We all went to bed and directly to sleep around 7:00pm, and although the elder 3 of us woke occasionally overnight, we all managed to stay quietly in bed until 8:00 in the morning.  This boded well for the girls and I, who followed a relatively normal day.  But Dave apparently awoke more often than the rest of us and could not function at work.  He came home feeling sick mid-day, and I just hope that he feels better after tonight's sleep.
By contrast, last night we all went to bed at 9:30pm and L-- and I were wide awake at 4:00 in the morning.  I got a pretty full night's sleep, but it will be interesting to see how she does today.

Staff
After 6 weeks in the states, it felt nice to have Jordan meet us at the airport and drive us home.  Jordan only rarely drives for us, although we enjoy his company very much.  Jordan is a Chinese man in his mid- to late-thirties from Anhui province.  He moved to Shanghai about ten years ago, leaving his family behind so that his son could go to school in his hometown.  Upon his arrival in Shanghai, he purchased a small car and began to hang out near Metro stops and expat areas soliciting rides.  He taught himself English in his spare time and built up a busines that now includes 2 large vans and a staff of part-time drivers.  Until recently, his staff also included our full-time driver, Michael.  Michael is a very sweet man, 32 years old with a wife and daughter living a few hours drive away.  He speaks no English and does not drive well, but kept us good company and managed the home-school route without too much difficulty.
Apparently, during his month away from work for us he had plenty of time on his hands.  With his time, he set up a mahjong parlor and enjoyed himself enough to make a career change.  Just last week he informed Jordan that he will no longer drive for him.  Instead he hosts his mahjong parlor, seated among 3 tables where up to 12 people can play.  An individual pays about 10 RMB to play for 6 hours, and Michael acts as a 4th when needed.  If his tables were full 24 hours a day, this leaves him the potential to earn a maximu of 144RMB per day - about $20.  Either he was not as well paid as we thought, or there is some gambling going on around his tables as well.  We are now in search for a new driver, and although we are hoping for someone who knows the streets better than Michael did, I doubt we will find someone as sweet and kind.
As we arrived at home, Wendy was just leaving.  She had spent the day cleaning the apartment and doing some shopping for us.  They both helped us maneuver our 500 pounds of luggage into the apartment before leaving us alone.

Arriving Home
Last year we went to America for the month of February, less than 6 months after we had moved to China.  Our return to China marked a turning point in my life here, as I realized that I felt at home in our apartment and returned to true friends.  I began to realize that I have a home and a good life in China.  Unfortunately, my return this year felt a bit the opposite.  We walked into our apartment (a different apartment from last year) and were struck by how empty and sterile it felt.  The walls are stark white, and recently bared from their Christmas decorations.  Empty hooks hung where our stockings had adorned the walls.  In the spirit of a temporary home, I have spent little on decorations and I had never noticed how sterile the place feels.  I have decided to live much more frugally, focusing our money on travel rather than on living lavishly.  Still, I am seriously considering investing in a few gallons of tan paint to warm up our bare, white walls.  Maybe the landlord could cover the cost!

Comfort In A To-Do List
After spending 6 weeks living with family, 10 days with Dave off work, and 13 hours in bed, I woke on Monday morning feeling low.  L-- starts school on Wednesday, and we have not lived in this home without the comfort of routine to guide my days.  Monday morning I faced two days with Dave at work, a house empty of other family, no driver, and no friends within walking distance.  It brought to mind the same question that always runs through my mind while in the states - what are we doing here?
I spent a few moments feeling sorry for myself, but then the kids asked for breakfast and my mind snapped back into focus.  Fifteen pancakes later, the day looked full with the basics of a day at home with children.  Just finding our toothbrushes took time, and the girls were happy to play with all of their remembered toys.  We all felt comforter by the familiar, and by our control over our schedule.  And by mid-morning we had plans to meet up with friends on Tuesday.
We miss family dreadfully, and are already counting the days until our next visitor.  And the walls are bare and stark, with a dreary view out the window looking through our dead plants onto our dirty, grey compound and the smoggy grey sky.  But snuggled in our fluffy robes, feet propped over our soft rug, with fluffy blankets piled on top of us L-- and I feel quite at home this morning.  And as we fall into our normal routine, we all feel perfectly comfortable.  And although Shanghai feels a rather soulless city in many ways, it offers some fantastic local food, some amazing photo opportunities, and plenty of wonderful people.

It is good to be home.

No comments: