Step 1, Round 2

He passed the test.

Dave passed the Written Exam. This is the test he took a few weeks ago, restarting his candidacy for the Foreign Service in the Economic track. Next, submitting essays. We're still expecting him to interview in DC around Christmas.

Postponing Mei Mei

Within our little house, time seems to be standing still. We spend our days simply, painting and swimming, playing and cooking, and enjoying all three of our little girls. The days pass smoothly, and Annika lives so peacefully that we are enjoying how long she is staying little.

But outside of our house, time has not stood still. We received word from our social worker that our family is within the next 10 families to be matched by CCAA. Simply, we could be matched with Mei Mei within the next few weeks.

This would be disaster. Mei Mei would be older than Annika, and we would not be able to devote enough time and energy to either child. So, upon the advice of our social worker and our agency, we have written a letter to China. We state that we are still quite enthusiastic about adopting, but that to be fair to all of our children, we request our match be postponed until next year.

Our social worker has wonderful connections at CCAA, and feels good about this course of action. Because she has wonderful connections, I feel confident that she can help us make the right thing work. I am not comfortable with receiving a match when Annika is 12 months old - only 6 months age difference would be too close, and 12 months is simply too young to have the position of baby usurped. Fifteen months may have been too young, but we made it work 5 years ago. I could be convinced to make that work again.

But this is not the choice for today. For today, we chose to continue our adoption by postponing our match for at least 1 year. One less decision to worry about!

Lull in the Conversation

Summer has begun, and brought with it long and playful days. We're keeping busy at the swimming pool, on playdates, and creating amazing works of art. Little Annika keeps us busy as well, eating, sleeping, smiling and snuggling. The weather still has the cool of spring, and so we're eating dinner on the rooftop balcony most evenings. Shanghai has felt like home for some time now; and so, although we expected to leave China this summer, we feel no real sadness at remaining here.

Dave still struggles with enjoying his job, which calls for many hours away from home. He diligently studies his Mandarin, working with a tutor for an hour every day and bringing home new words every evening.

I have begun the post-baby diet, exercising during quiet time every afternoon and keeping as close to 1200 calories as possible every day - which means lots of cooking, and plenty of fresh fruits and vegetables. Lucky for us we've found a fantastic supplier of local, organic produce. We are enjoying blueberries, french beans and zucchini these days.

And this is why I haven't posted anything lately. Written above could be said on any of the last few days, and any of the coming few weeks. Flurries of excitement will come when they send out invitations to the September class, and when Dave moves forward in the second round of his Foreign Service application. But otherwise, we keep a pretty chill house these days.

Overcome

It seems that I have faced major decision meltdown. Maybe we've just had too many life choices and potential changes before us for the past year, and now my mind and my emotions are simply shutting down. Last night, I felt despair because we had clearly made the wrong choice - we should not have purchased bunk beds. Tonight, I felt despair because we clearly made the wrong choice - Lilly should be starting kindergarten.

I can't help but wonder where this despair comes from. Couple this with my inability to make choices over our summer travel, and we see a strong pattern. It seems I have lost all ability to cope with and consider change. Maybe that's fair, in light of the year we're in the midst of. Still, that stress may be fair at this point does not make it practical or helpful.

I've had a strong prayer life over the last few months, which has been the source of my peace. Well, that and three bright, charming, loving and peaceful children; a strong group of supportive friends; and a wonderful husband. But I wonder if I've been putting too much faith in prayer. As I write it, that seems impossible. But still, I wonder.

As I've faced decisions of late, I've prayed on them. And prayed, and prayed, and prayed on them. And I've not seen clear answers to any of them. Scratch that - I've got a nice list of answered prayers. Annika is a peaceful baby - answered prayer. Discovery Woods never gave me their mailing address, so I could not send money to enroll the girls for their preschool in the fall - answered prayer.

But when I face a question, I often don't see a clear answer. For example, Dave and I struggled enormously over whether Lilly should begin kindergarten or pre-k in the fall. We both felt she is ready for kindergarten, both socially and academically. But, the prevailing wisdom says that a child performs better as the oldest child in the class rather than the youngest. We questioned our gut reaction, realizing that every parent believes their child is above average. I prayed over the decision, and prayed, and prayed. I talked to everyone who had an opinion, waiting for God to speak clearly. The results came back fuzzy - people who knew Lilly saw her as ready, people who didn't know Lilly saw the research and statistics as quite clear. So we took the prevailing wisdom, knowing that being older can not hurt.

So here's the point: We prayed for guidance, and we only received mixed messages.

And now, I face all sorts of decisions without clear answers. I pray for guidance, and I don't receive a clear answer. So here's where I'm heading with this - prayer is great, but God doesn't want me to be wishy-washy, either. He placed a good brain in my head, and he put a strong gut in my, well, in my gut. If in prayer, God doesn't write an answer in stone, maybe its because He trusts me to make my own choice.

Reassuring, in one sense. Nice to feel that the God of the universe trusts my intellect.

Frightening, in another. I'd much rather believe that God has a plan for when Mei Mei will finally join our family, and that if I listen hard enough, He will lay it out for me. I'd rather believe that if I make God's choice, Mei Mei will come at the perfect time.

That may not be true, though. Mei Mei may not come at the perfect time.

That may be God's plan. Or it may be what God allows to happen. And I suppose the only comfort, then, is that God is faithful. Even if all of our choices lead to difficulty - God is good. All the time.

Quote of the Day

When Dave woke up this morning, Lilly immediately asked him Is today Father's Day?

Dave: Yes, it is.

Lilly: Oh, yay!

Dave: Why is that so good?

Lilly: Because Father's Day is on Sunday, so that means that tonight is Movie Night!

At least he got to pick the movie :)

Fast Times in Shanghai

I stole the image below from gizmodo.com . I find it amazing, and displays perfectly how quickly change is happening in Shanghai. The top photo was taken in 1990 - the bottom photo in 2010, only 20 years later. Were it not for the river, you would doubt it is the same place.

Starting Over

Dave sits for the Foreign Service Written Exam this afternoon. Please pray keep him in your prayers.

This test begins his candidacy in the Economic register.

Dave currently has a 5.6 on the Political register. Calls recently completed for the August class, and they reached 5.7 (15 steps ahead of Dave) on the Political register. They reached 5.5 on the Economic register.

Today's test is pass-fail. Upon passing this test, he will be asked to submit essays - also pass-fail. Upon acceptance of the essays, he will be asked to return to DC for another Oral Exam. This is where he will receive another score, and hopefully be placed immediately upon the Economic register.

He also tried to schedule his Mandarin language test for next week. We just learned that the earliest he can test in Mandarin is August 1. Should he pass, he would be eligible for the October class - the last class of the year. Should he fail, he could not take the test again until February. I think he will choose to postpone the test until November, just before we come home for Christmas.

The political register is literally adding more people than it is draining - possibly twice as many. Many more people are increasing their scores by taking language tests. Dave will sit on the Political register for 18 months, or until September of 2011. Still, as candidates continue to test and to receive their clearances, candidates will continue to be placed on the register. With expected budget cuts next year, the political register looks more and more like a dead end.

Continue to pray for God's guidance as this route looks more and more difficult. We will certainly be in Shanghai for the rest of this calendar year, leaving Dave in his job for at least 6 more months. We are happy here, but Dave's job is not the right place for him anymore.

Jury-rigging

We have a lovely wooden table and chairs on our rooftop terrace here in Shanghai. We bought it last summer, made of unfinished wood. They are very well made, and quite comfortable. We bought it with money provided by the landlord to furnish the place, and so we will have to leave them behind when we move.

Upon moving them into our house, I began a search for water sealer. I've built enough decks to know that any wooden furniture to be left in the weather needs to be water sealed annually.

I searched and searched, but to no avail. Finally, Wendy informed me that Chinese people do not use wooden furniture like this, at least not outside. She had never heard of water sealer and doubted that I would find it here. So, our lovely chairs look a dull grey and the table is full of dark stains because it absorbs every milk spill and popsicle drip. And we know that Chinese people have no general knowledge about outdoor wooden objects.

So, this week we are having repairs made to the rooftop terrace. It is a lovely wooden deck with raised planters surrounding it. Trees lean over the deck on one side, and a taller building shades it from the other so that it only receives full sun during the heat of the day. Well designed, but not so well built, 40-50% of the panels on the deck are not screwed to the cross-beams below. Certainly this makes it easier to access the roof - it also makes it easier to pop up a section of the deck when you stand on the edge of the panel. And it should go without saying that none of the wood has been water-sealed. So, repairs were certainly necessary.

Step 1 in the repairs - the gardener came to the house last week and told Wendy that nothing could be done to fix these problems.
Step 2 in the repairs - I told our manager that one board desparately needed to be replaced, and he sent the gardener out again.
Step 3 in the repairs - the gardener came to the house again, and Wendy explained that many of the boards were rotten or broken
Step 4 in the repairs - 10 planks of unfinished wood appear before our front door, blocking the front path, around 7am on Wednesday morning
Step 5 in the repairs - Wendy moves all of the wood to the deck before she leaves for the day, so we can fully access our front door and they won't be stolen
Step 6 in the repairs - 4:00 in the afternoon, the gardener arrives. With three children napping, and no one to translate I ask him to return at 10:00 the following (Thurs.) morning.
Step 7 in the repairs - This morning (2 days later), two new men show up to work on the roof. They begin work, under Wendy's supervision. Within 10 minutes, Wendy comes downstairs and heads toward the door. I ask her where she's going:

Wendy: I am going to talk to the bike repairman in the lane. I think maybe he has some old inner tubes we can have.
Lynne: Why?
Wendy: Because the wood they brought is to small. When it is nailed down, the deck floor is uneven. So I thought we could ask the man for the bike tubes, and put them underneath the boards so they will be higher.
Lynne: Clever, Wendy. But I think it is a bad idea. If the wood is the wrong size, they need to buy new wood.
Wendy (seems surprised): Oh, so maybe I should call the landlord.
Lynne: Yeah, probably. It is not my house, so I can not tell them not to. But if I were the landlord, I would be very angry!

Wendy calls the gardener, who refuses to give her the landlord's phone number, because I bought the wood at a market very far away. I don't want to return! It is too much trouble!

The gardener calls the landlord, and calls back. As it turns out, the landlord thinks jury-rigging is the way to go, and I sat quietly while they made temporary the boards. Later this afternoon, I learned that 2x4s are the board of choice because anything thinner will bend and eventually break under the weight of an adult.

This jury-rigging is a very common practice in China. Whereas America has a DIY culture, China has a jury-rigging culture. They take the same skills and cleverness, and one is no less work than the other. Jury-rigging just costs more money in the long run, less in the short run. Wendy confirmed this. When I told her I have built a deck before, and Americans expect a deck to last 15 years, she was amazed. So long! I gave her my jury-rigging theory, and she agreed right away. After all, she said, how would people make any money if their products lasted very long?

Hand-Me-Downs FORBIDDEN!

This place is just full of interesting little tidbits.

When we moved to China, we had no intentions to add another family member while abroad. And so, we left all of our baby gear in a basement in West Chicago. And then Annika came along, and she needs some baby gear.

We asked Dave's folks to throw it all into a few boxes and ship us all of our used baby items. A few crib sheets, some diapers, but primarily used clothing. We did our research, and found USPS to be the most affordable shipper. We all began to organize around this plan, and then quickly searched China's customs rules as a just-in-case.

Get a load of what we found on the Prohibitions list:

• Arms, ammunition, weapons.
• Articles in hermetically sealed, nontransparent containers.
• Chinese currency.
• Coins; banknotes; securities payable to bearer; traveler’s checks; gold, silver, platinum, manufactured or not; precious stones; jewelry; and other valuable articles, unless sent as an insured post.
• Manuscripts, printed matter, photographic negatives, gramophone records, films, magnetic tapes, video tapes, etc., which could do political, economical, cultural, or moral harm to the People’s Republic of China.
• Meat and meat products.
• Perishable infectious biological substances.
• Radioactive materials.
• Radio receivers, transmitters or receivers of all kinds, walkie-talkies and parts thereof; valves, antennae, etc.
• Used clothing and bedding.
• Wrist-watches, cameras, television sets, radio sets, tape records, bicycles, sewing machines, and ventilators.

That's right - used clothing and bedding right alongside infectious biological substances and radioactive materials.

I did a little digging, because this could not possibly keep me from receiving my own baby clothes. Turns out we'll be fine, upon some good advice and background from a fellow Shanghai Mama.

Simple Instructions: label the contents as "personal items" rather than "used clothes and bedding." It is entirely true, and draws less attention.

Background: Apparently, China used to be an unwilling recipient of donated used clothing from other countries. It seems that in the 70's, loads of insect-ridden, tatty clothes were sent as donations to China causing loss of face. We can't have that - and so we have legislation.

As we say in Shanghai, T.I.C. (This Is China)!

Verifiable

Since her birth, we have been following the rather complicated process of verifying Annika’s place in this world. Had she been born on US soil, her citizenship would be unquestionably American and paperwork would follow at a leisurely pace. But the process is much more interesting (and tedious) on Chinese soil.

Annika is a US citizen. Unlike America, China does not offer citizenship to children born in its hospitals. They did, however, offer her a very cool little Chinese birth certificate. But this birth certificate is nothing more - not the hukou that Chinese citizens receive upon their birth, conferring upon them the right to public school and health care in their home town.

So, she was born a US citizen. But that is not as automatic as one might think.

Step 1: Consular Report of Birth Abroad

We had to apply for her birth certificate from the US. This is only offered to US citizens, and so we had to prove her citizenship. Again, more complicated than I would have expected. For us, a married pair of citizens, we only had to bring our passports, ourselves, and our marriage license to the Shanghai Consulate. We made an oath, Annika answered some questions about American government, and she was in. Here's the rules for the more complicated contingent:

• If only one of us were a US citizen but still married, then the citizen would have to prove they had lived in the US for 5 years since they were 14 years old. Not too hard.
• If only Mom is a US citizen, and the couple is unmarried then mom must have spent 1 continuous year in an American territory.
• If only Dad is a US citizen, and the couple is unmarried then things get a bit more complicated. Pop must provide clear evidence of his paternity, acknowledge that paternity in writing, and also guarantee in writing to financially support the little citizen until they turn 18. I see this as a sad legacy of irresponsible men, both during wartime and on business trips. Dave sees this as saving degradation from women who may well bear a child to access American citizenship, especially from men who could sell the service of impregnation. Ick.

It is interesting to me that, should we continue this lifestyle for a long time, our grandchildren could be ineligible for US citizenship. It is also interesting to me that some children probably face a lack of citizenship entirely - what happens then?

Step 2: Passport

With her Consular Report of Birth Abroad (CRBA), she has proof of her citizenship. But she still can not board an airplane for international travel without a passport. On the same day, and with her CRBA and 2 passport pictures (imagine that - 2 weeks old!), we applied for her passport. It came back within 10 days, and her photo looks a bit ridiculous.

Step 3: Local Police Registration

The Chinese government keeps track of everyone within their borders. Everyone. We are registered with our local government, telling them who we are and where we live. We are supposed to tell them every time we leave town, and every time we return. Hotels do this for us, to some extent - reporting everyone who stays, and their arrival and departure dates to their local government. Annika must be reported. We needed her passport to do this. We received her passport on Friday, so we will report her on Monday.

Step 4: Visa and Residence Permit

As an American citizen, Annika has no guaranteed right to stay in the People’s Republic of China. Without a Chinese visa in her passport, we can be fined up to 5,000 RMB. With her birth certificate, her passport, and her local police registration as well as Dave’s work permit, Uncle H--s HR department will obtain a visa for her. And here is where we are being fleeced. Foreigners must obtain that visa within 30 days of their child’s birth. See how many steps necessarily preceed this? Recall that those 30 days are also the first 4 weeks post-delivery for mother and child. Also recall that in China, custom dictates that a woman not leave her house or her bed for at least 30 days, to regain her strength. We have passed that 30 day mark. Uncle H--s fixer believes he can fix the problem without our paying 5,000 RMB - that’s about $1,000 USD. In China, its all about who you know and how effectively you can make connections. A fixer is our only chance.

Staying Put

August calls have all gone out, and we are not on our way to DC. In fact, although State will extend invitations to FS candidates on a monthly basis through October, Dave and I see a precedent. He will not be invited to any of the 2010 classes, and we will stay put for at least another 6 months.

Its time to be pro-active. But its also time, sadly, to build contingency plans.

Being proactive - Dave is starting the process over again. He will take the Written Exam on Saturday afternoon in the Economic track. Remember that he is number 41 on a list of 150 or so - this is a list of Political candidates. With this new candidacy, he will enter the list of Economic candidates, which is a much shorter list. He will pass the Written Exam on Saturday, be invited to submit essays in about August, and be invited to DC for an Oral Exam in around November (family - this will be our next trip home, we expect). He will, I assume, pass this exam with flying colors and be placed on the Econ register by January. With the amazingly high score he will receive, he will be guaranteed a spot in the next class.

He is also studying Mandarin. He will take a 15 minute phone test at the end of June, to determine whether or not he speaks and understands at a conversational level. He does not, we realize. But could he trick someone into believing he does in 15 minutes? The possibility exists. Should he not convince them, we will look upon this as a practice test, and he will spend the next 6 months studying intensively so that he can pass the Mandarin phone test in January. Upon passing this test, he will gain an extra 0.4 points, taking his score from 5.6 to 6.0; 6.0 is the highest possible score, and would guarantee him a spot in the next class.

Should neither of these guarantees pan out, we are in Asia for the foreseeable future. He is currently on a 2 year contract, beginning October 1 of 2010. He feels he could maneuver a move to India, which we both see as exciting and a possible route into International Development work simply by proximity. NGOs (Non-Governmental Organizations - essentially international non-profits) are severely limited within China, but certainly not within India. Some intense volunteer work and good connections may well foster the career change he has been seeking.

Our hope (and my confidence) still lie in the foreign service, and we hope to see DC within the next school year. But after our prayers for an August move, we are quite aware that God has His own timing. We were reminded of this last night, in reading the final chapter of the book of Job.

Then Job replied to the Lord: "I know that you can do all things; no purpose of yours can be thwarted. You asked ‘Who is this that obscures my plans without knowledge?’ Surely I spoke of things I did not understand, things too wonderful for me to know."