Blessing Upon Blessing

Today was a hard day, and things became much worse before they got better. But amid some of the craziest chaos I have recently experienced, I felt surrounded by blessings.

Surrounded by friends this morning, I shared the crazy situation we faced. Each strongly recommended calling the movers and asking to postpone arrival of our boxes. This could only make the situation worse, and waiting a few more days would cause no real problems.

I called. They had already arrived in Shenzhen, after a few hours of work loading and driving the truck from the warehouse in Guangzhou. Sure, they could postpone. It would cost 5,000 RMB, or about $750. For this decision, I would need to speak with the management.

I called Mark, our contact at the hotel. Mark came to our room with a very sympathetic smile on his face. The very sympathetic smile never left his face, although his eyes frequently changed expression, touching on both terrified and about to cry. He stayed for over 2 hours. He made promises, which he took back when I asked for them in writing. He lied. He offered to store our items and move them into another apartment at another time, which would effectively lock us into their choice of options in the future, as well as canceling out any insurance provided by our movers.

No. I made myself clear. If I accepted our shipment today, I would not move from this apartment. If I sent the movers away, the management would find themselves responsible for a 5,000 RMB fine.

Mark left after calling the movers and telling them I wished they would leave - he made this phone call in Chinese, standing in front of me, without ever saying what he was doing. I learned of the call when the movers called to confirm my wishes. That's when Mark saw me fly into hysterics.

I've got to tell you - I'm not one to fly into hysterics easily. My parents may disagree, but I can bet that none of the rest of you have seen me fall apart entirely. I am an under control gal, who does not collapse in tears and a squeaky voice. I had nothing left, and I didn't know what to do. I left, because I needed to pick up Sophia from school. Because of school, the movers could no longer wait. The stalemate passed, and I lost. I told the movers to leave.

But allow me to highlight the blessings here.

Blessing #1:
Note that paragraph 2 begins "Surrounded by friends this morning..." These are people I have known for less than 3 weeks, but who turned into a wonderful cheerleading squad this morning. Ladies called or texted to check in during the day, offered to take the girls after school, offered to host Lilly's birthday party this weekend, and just generally made me feel supported and part of a community.

Blessing #2:
Our ayi began work this morning. And although I had no work for her today, she could not have started at a better time. She took care of Annika so I could focus on the conversation at hand. She smiled and kept a light conversation whenever Mark left. And she chewed him out when she left. She's a keeper, and she brightened my morning considerably.j

Blessing #3:
The movers turned out to be wonderfully kind people. They caught on very quickly that I was being abused, and voiced their support in every phone conversation. I even received a very nice pep talk after I flew into hysterics on the phone. The truck sat waiting at the hotel for over an hour before I left to pick up Sophia from school. I spoke to Evan, the moving manager, as I walked to school. What would you like us to do, he asked. I have no idea, I replied. My voice rose higher, and I think I began rambling incoherently. I think we should take these things back to the warehouse today, and you can solve this later, he offered. I think that's a good idea, I answered. And then he said a bunch of nice things about human kindness and everything being alright in the end and not waiting so long to sign contracts next time. He cheered me enough to be able to face Sophia without crying.

Blessing #4:
Over the past few years, I have learned not to trust Uncle H-- in situations like these. They generally seem happy to accept all responsibility as ours, and pass on all costs by deducting them from Dave's paycheck. I felt hopeless this morning, quite sure they would not stand up for us. Quite to the contrary, when Dave explained the situation to his HR department they were incensed and immediately made some phone calls. The general manager of the hotel soon called Dave, and we are no longer responsible for the moving fee. In fact, he has offered some pretty sweet deals to entice us to stay. We do not expect they will be sweet enough to combat such a horrible morning, but the sentiment is both appropriate and appreciated.

Blessing #5:
I emailed a few ladies from Bible Study, as well as our parents. I meant to send a simple prayer request, but it turned into a bit of a rant. And I received a wonderful outpouring of prayer and support. Such kind words meant the world to me, and so much prayer has brought about the plethora of blessings listed here.

Blessings continue...
We spent the afternoon at the pool, surrounded by friends, the girls having so much fun that they never noticed my level of stress. We spent dinner at a friend's house, where the girls disappeared into their children's playrooms and I enjoyed adult conversation with the Mom and Dad. Uncle H-- will work as quickly as possible to get us out of this apartment and into something new. I will view a few things new tomorrow, and have received loads of good advice on where to look. The situation no longer feels hopeless or impossible. I do still feel powerless, but I also feel surrounded by very good people. I feel unsettled, but I also feel like I am joining a wonderful community.

Victims of Poor Planning

Once again, it seems we are the victims of poor planning. We were informed this evening that the hotel where we live accidentally promised our room to someone else.

We need to move.

We have already told our children, under quite a bit of stress from the move and the new school, that this is their new home. That we won't be changing house from here until we leave Shenzhen.

We have already sold or given away anything we don't need in a serviced apartment - bowls, silverware, an ironing board, an iron, the list goes on and on.

Our belongings will arrive tomorrow, in boxes.

That's right - tomorrow morning. That means we have no time to inform the moving company that we will change addresses and can not accept the shipment tomorrow. That means that we will have all of our belongings piled in every corner of this hotel apartment until the time comes to move into our new place. That means we will now have to pay to move our things again.

I have not blogged within the past few days because I just can't get adjusted here. It feels silly, because life is so easy here. Everything is within walking distance, most things seem to work, the traffic is not so bad, and the people are wildly friendly. Lilly seems well adjusted, although Sophia still needs some time. It seems as if I should be quite happy, but I'm not. Of its own accord, moving is hard.

So to be hit by this whammy tonight just put me over the edge. I could hardly parent my children, and I certainly couldn't fix dinner. They ate canned pasta and went to bed early. Then Dave and I sat down to a late dinner of fajitas and homemade pico de gallo with chips on the side. We opened a bottle of wine. And Dave turned on the soft musings of the conference call he was scheduled to participate in. Soon he left the room, leaving me to pick at chips and wine alone.

When we first moved to Shanghai, a friend told me to share the good as well as the bad, or to find a counselor because I must be severely depressed. I am trying to avoid that impression this time, and to be more honest about the upsides of this life. There are plenty, and there will be plenty of upsides behind moving. Should we choose to stay in the hotel but change units, they will lower our rent and do our laundry for free. Should we choose to leave this complex, we will live in a real home with rented furniture but also with our own pictures on the walls and our own sheets on the beds. Its not so bad, really.

I tell myself this, and its true. This is far from the end of the world. Still, I'll be honest with you. I don't know how to deal with such a blow.

Keeping Secrets

Every time you move, you have the opportunity to reinvent yourself. Even small moves create new communities, where you can answer each question however you like. I've decided to provide only selective information to the crowds I'm meeting. For instance:

How old are your kids?
They are 3 months, 3 years, and 5 years old.

With Lilly in kindergarten and Sophia in preschool, the girls are now 2 school years apart in age. Lilly may not be quite 5 yet, but I'm telling people that we spaced the girls apart perfectly in age.


Where did you live in Shanghai?
We lived in a lane house in the French Concession.

I'm not sharing that we lived in 3 different homes over only 3 years. Because although it had the benefit of allowing us to get to know Shanghai quite well, it also makes us look a bit flaky. Plus, the above answer has a bit of hip cache attached to it.


What does your husband do?
He's an HR consultant who has been seconded to work here.

This is entirely true, actually. I just love some of the language in there.
Seconded means to "transfer (a military officer or other official or worker) temporarily to other employment or another position." e.g. "I was seconded to a public relations unit."
I previously had named the company where he is seconded, but decided to leave work and home separate. Suffice it to say that Dave will be working with one of the largest employers in the world.


How long will you be in Shenzhen?
Up to a year, and who knows after that.

I'm just leaving the whole Foreign Service out of the mix. I thought that answer better than this one:
Well, we could be leaving within a few months, if my husband gets this job that he's been vying for. He applied for it about 2 years ago, and we really think that they're going to decide they want him eventually.
Those of you who know Dave, and those of you who understand current hiring practices of the U.S. Foreign Service would have a positive feeling about that last answer, but anyone else might not. In fact, anyone else might think he's a bit of a loser. The rest of us just think there must be a mighty fine crowd of people running our diplomatic corps, for Dave to be so low on the list.

Moving Day, 2

I have no words to express today. It was good.

The movers arrived on time (well, on time considering they were one day late) and they did fantastic work. They were pleasant men, and I enjoyed chatting with their manager. Because they did such good work, I was able to sit on the couch and read a book for nearly 5 hours, eventually struggling to stay awake. I kept thinking, what would they think if I just curled up and took a nap here on the couch?

I enjoyed a too brief conversation with my friend Julie.
I got to meet Wendy's daughter, and to see our old driver and meet his family.
I watched every unwanted item from my house go to someone who felt truly excited to take it.
I welcomed the Bible Study ladies into my home one more time, and watched my friends feel at home with each other and in this space.
I enjoyed a truly fantastic burger in wonderful company.
I delivered a box of maternity clothes to Larissa, and enjoyed a late night conversation with her while waiting for her husband to arrive from Mongolia.

I talked to Dave about the weekend, and am now looking forward to sleeping in my bed, on sheets and pillows which I picked out, for the last time in a long time. I have nowhere to be until 10:45 tomorrow morning, and so am looking forward to a late start, a hot shower, and a walk through the hidden lanes of this my neighborhood to the amazing little bakery a few blocks away.

An idyllic way to end my solitary weekend, before rushing home and arriving just in time for family dinner before Dave jumps out the door for an overnight flight to Singapore. He will spend this week out of town, much like last week, and much like the week after this. I'm exhausted, and really looking forward to my hot shower and the walk to the bakery tomorrow morning.

Low Key Saturday

Dave and the girls spent the day at home, in Shenzhen.
I spent the day at home, in Shanghai.

Dave gave the girls exactly the weekend they needed right now, relaxing and familiar. They spent the entire day at home, going to the pool (where they inadvertently made friends with the neighbor kids - yay!), playing at home, and only leaving the grounds to eat lunch at McDonald's.

I enjoyed what turned out to be a lovely Saturday alone. We scheduled the movers to arrive at 10am this morning, and so I sat on the couch at 9:50 to await their arrival. The house was sorted, organized, taped and stacked. There was nothing left for me to do but read. So I read until 11:00, when I began to wonder if anyone would be coming to pack the house at all.

As it turns out, no one planned to come. They would arrive tomorrow morning at 9:30, I was later informed. This turned out to be a fantastic blessing, as I could run all of those last-minute errands which fell by the wayside in such a quick move. I hit the diaper street, where packs of Huggies Gold run about half the price of Wal-Mart or Carrefour. I hit the apartment cum bookstore, where overstocked and slightly mishandled English children's books sell for a maximum of $5 per book. I hit the movie store, where they stock every title you can come up with and sell each for less than $2 per disc. I hit the boutique which takes inspiration from French and Chinese fashion, creating lovely pieces for little girls at truly lovely prices. I hit one of my favorite restaurants for lunch, and another for dinner. I arrived home with a very full backpack, a very full stomach, and a quiet house in which to watch a brand new movie.

This may not sound like a relaxing day, but it was. There was no racing through the amazing heat to meet a particular deadline. There were no children crying, arguing, or pulling on my skirt. There was no cleaning up after one but myself.

And at the end of the day, I still get to sleep in my own bed. I am melancholy to realize how much I enjoy this house and this neighborhood. They would not have been the right fit for our family this year, and so I am relieved to be in a new place. But they are comfortable, charming, and definitely home. I am sad to leave.

Moving in Opposite Directions

Sophia has not napped the entire time we've been in Shenzhen. At least, not until today. You see, her regular naptime is from 2:30 - 4:00 and has been for years. It seems this time was fully ingrained in her system, because moving it up to 1:00 - 2:30 just wasn't working at all. So, we were facing an increasingly tired and grumpy Sophia every day.

Well, today the build-up became strong enough that she fell asleep immediately at 1:00. I woke her up at 2:30 and we've had a perky and cheerful child the rest of the evening.

Unfortunately, things are not so simple for Lilly.

Lilly is a cautious girl who prefers to watch things from the sidelines, observe the situation, and then wait to be invited in before she makes any friends. As of yet, no one has invited her in. She's decided that a new school and new friends are awfully hard, and she really misses the friends she had back in Shanghai. I think that sleep may be a factor for her as well, because she went to sleep at 6:00 this evening. But sleep won't be the only obstacle for her. Making new friends is a challenge for Lilly, and she fully realizes that. The spontaneous playdate with 3 other families this afternoon simply overwhelmed her and had her playing in the corner by herself. Certainly, this did not help her confidence.

I'll admit, I don't have any idea how to help her. Any readers who were shy kids, or parents of shy kids, please pass along any words of wisdom and advice. I know she'll be fine eventually, but that doesn't help her face tomorrow.

Shopping in China

After 3 years, I have fully adapted to China shopping. At least, China shopping as an expatriate. While the cities I've lived in are more developed than many in the world, shopping is still never running to Target and finding the same items on the shelf each time. When you see black beans at the market, you buy them. Whether you need them or not. And if you're within a few months of Christmas and they're selling pumpkin pie filling, buy as many cans as you may need over the holidays.

My general rule: If you see it, and you may need it, you ought to buy it.

This rule gets me in trouble when I am running through Target in the states, as most everything in the store is something I might conceivably need. And its making for some funny purchases in Shenzhen. I've bought string cheese every time I've gone grocery shopping so far. We've now amassed a good stock of it, and I'm beginning to think its not going to disappear from the shelves. I found Comet at the local store, and at a local price. This was on my shipping list - Mom was to go shopping this weekend. So I snatched two bottles of it (they were on sale - 16 RMB total!).

When I got home, I realized two things.
1 - It will take years of regular use to go through 2 containers of Comet.
2 - The apartment provides cleaning ladies every day. They bring their own soap.

Deep Breathe

Dave tells me I over-reacted. He says there have been a few misunderstandings, and that everything will be fine. He's talking to people and explaining our needs. And whatever Uncle H-- decides, we have the ability to make the choices right for us anyway.

The previous hyperventilating may have been the outpouring of a week-long positive attitude. It is an easy move, a comfortable place, and a friendly community. I have been in conversations every day. We were even invited to a playdate this afternoon. But I'll admit to a touch of plaster behind my smile.

Moving with children is both easier and more challenging. I'm not particularly lonely, because I've got 3 young ladies keeping me company most of the day. They create sparkling conversation and come up with great ideas for things to do. Plus, they keep me busy. Laundry, lunch, and ferrying back and forth to school fill up most of the day.

But they also adjust to a new place differently than I do. I like to just jump right in - accept every invitation, talk to every new face. Lilly prefers to hang back, get the lay of the land, and then become friends with people as they ask her to. The two don't mix very well, and so I'm hanging back alongside my girls. They seem to adjust to place the same way. I'd love to explore every free moment, checking out new restaurants and taking walks in a different direction every day. The girls prefer to stick to the few places which are comfortable, so we eat at home and play at the same playground. I can hardly complain, as it makes my life simple. Exploration will come on the weekends, and may be forced. But it will come, and if lunch and ice-cream are part of the package then we'll have happy girls soon enough.

Panicking

A horrible sense of dread is rising within me, getting worse the more I think about it. Changing the subject doesn't seem to matter - my mind soon returns.

Today, we received Dave's contract for the new project and the coming year. Most things are unchanged, but they have dropped our housing allowance. As part of a typical expatriate package, the cost of housing is covered by the employer to allow for an employee to maintain a house "back home," and to keep the employee more globally mobile. Our housing allowance seems to have been cut by about $500.

Had we received this news a few weeks ago, it would have had very little impact. We would have looked at housing with the new cap in mind, and settled for what was necessary. However, we were told to expect the same standards as in Shanghai, and so shopped accordingly. We've decided to stay in the serviced apartment, which is about $500 above our previous housing allowance - bringing that newly to $1,000 above.

I certainly ought not whine about needing to pay such an amount in rent every month. But I feel a bit screwed by Uncle H-- here. They said jump, and we jumped - in record time, I might add. We asked all of the appropriate questions and maintained constant communication with the appropriate people throughout all decisions. And now, at the point that all decisions have been made, we receive word that we were operating under the wrong assumptions.

We've arranged to move into this apartment, where we reside at the moment. So, I've bought plane tickets to fly back to Shanghai this weekend. I've arranged movers to pack the house on Saturday, with all of our things arriving in Shenzhen by the middle of next week. As this apartment provides dishes and sheets, I've arranged to sell much of our belongings. And I've informed the agent who showed us around that we are no longer interested in anything else.

This is a decision which needs to be confirmed or changed immediately. There will be a flurry of informing buyers not to pick up towels and tea cups, contacting agents to view new places, changing airline tickets and pushing back the movers. This needs to be confirmed or changed immediately. And unfortunately, I have no faith in Uncle H--'s ability to do that.

The problem is not in possibly having to pay our own rent. The problem is in making choices tethered to a not-so-benevolent uncle who can yank back that chain whenever it feels convenient.

Dave is in Shanghai for the week, which could help. He will be able to walk over to Joyce's desk and have a personal conversation with her, rather than make phone calls and send emails from down here. But it also means that he's not coming home for another few days. And this is the hard part about moving, isn't it? Making new friends is loads of fun, and is happening quickly here. But where's my Bible Study ladies, where I can lay a bomb like this and receive immediate prayer and pats on the back?

Living in Chinatown

Within Shenzhen, we're settling in the community called Shekou. It has historically been the expatriate community - historically being a limited term, as the entire city is only about 30 years old. Its located on a small peninsula, looking out over the South China Sea and toward Hong Kong. At some point, the Shenzhen government decided to capitalize on the international community and dub it Shekou International Village. They placed a big boat in the center of town and called it Sea World. Its now surrounded by overpriced restaurants selling mediocre food. But fittingly, all of the food is foreign. So we've got Brazilian, Irish, Mexican, Indian and Thai food all within easy walking distance - and all of it overpriced and under-tasty. Amusingly, there is no Chinese food to be found.

I suppose its a lot like living in Chinatown in the states. Americans go there for Chinese food - but the kind that we like to eat; not the kind they serve in China. And you certainly don't go there for a good burger. So, we're trying the foreign places - the Mexican place had really good guacamole! But we're also on the hunt for where the locals eat. At least, the non-foreign locals.

But the big selling point on Shekou is the proximity to Hong Kong. Our family hopped a ferry over to Hong Kong on Sunday morning, and the trip only took us one hour. We met friends for breakfast and the girls were home in time for naps. I stuck around to do some shopping, and then took the 3:00 ferry back - home in plenty of time to make dinner (although Dave always cooks on pizza night). Did some map shopping, some birthday shopping for Lilly, and checked out the grocery stores. And then back out to my foreign suburb for the evening.

Wal-Mart: The Global Citizen

As a counterpoint to the progressives who love to hate Wal-Mart, The Economist this week presents the argument that Wal-Mart is a good global citizen.

They don’t couch it in those terms. The article discusses the recent spate of worker activity in South China (the Pearl River Delta, home to Shenzhen and many factories in China). The Economist’s ever-global, ever-capitalist position is that as “pay and protest” rise in China, the whole world stands to benefit. Cheap labor created a working mass and a global economy. It put money in people’s pockets. As they ask for more money, they’ll also spend more money. That spending will be on goods created outside of China as well as inside. Bringing up living standards worldwide benefits the entire world economy. We stayed at the Marriott on the South China Sea, and were one of the only foreign families in the place. China’s people getting richer means they’ll spend more on imports and help the trade balance and the economy in the states.

Further, although Chinese workers have apparently not always been as docile and hard-working as the foreign press makes them appear, state-owned companies have quickly quashed any whispers of dissension. But when citizens complain to foreign companies, the government allows them to yell slogans toward the foreign press to their hearts’ content. Possibly we are watching US foreign policy toward China work itself out - growing capitalism is lessening the oppression coming from a government dictatorship.

When we lived in St. Louis, I stood firmly against Wal-Mart and their practice of exploiting low-income workers across the globe. Mockingly, a friend gave us a Wal-Mart gift card when Lilly was born. As the company already had the money anyway, we redeemed it for children’s t-shirts and iron-on transfers. Their 2-year-old received T-shirts saying “Daddy Hates Unions” for his birthday (and, as I recall, wore them).

Recognizing my limits as an economist, I don’t claim to be sharing anything groundbreaking here. I’m just saying that maybe I can trust the world market a bit more than I thought, and that I may start shopping at Wal-Mart again.

So Far, So Good

We dropped them off 10 minutes late this morning. We got a phone call because Lilly was still in her classroom 25 minutes after school ended this afternoon (but we were right on time for school ending at 3:30!). But otherwise, the first day of school seems to have gone quite well. Nobody made any new friends, but both kids like their teachers very much and are eager to return to school tomorrow.

the walk to school

Myself, on the other hand, I'm beginning to feel the stress of moving. Choosing a place to live has been surprisingly stressful. We are comfortable in the hotel, a 3-bedroom serviced apartment. But we will not be allowed to hang anything on the walls or personalize the place in any way. It will feel like a hotel the entire time we live here. The other option is a villa up the street from the school. Its a bit dated and has a tiny little yard, but it has an amazing terrace looking directly out over the sea to Hong Kong. After much debating, we've settled on staying put because we have a short-term lease here, and can drop everything when the foreign service calls. The choice between convenience (the perfect place NOW) and personalization (the better place in 3 months) was difficult, and still feels a bit icky.

Life here is beginning to feel overwhelming.

Without an ayi, I need to do my own laundry and take my kids everywhere with me. I know, parents in America will have no sympathy for me. But this includes walking to the grocery store and carrying all of the groceries back with me; parent-teacher conferences next week; running small loads of laundry and then hanging them to air dry - all with an infant strapped to my chest, and often at least one child walking slowly at my side. In a serviced apartment, I hardly feel I can justify hiring an ayi. But with my husband planning to travel 50% of the time, I may well need the help.

Without any friends, next week may be difficult. Dave will leave Monday morning and return Friday afternoon, just as I hope to leave for Shanghai. I have no doubt that friends will come, but the first few weeks will inevitably feel rather isolated. And with one or more children always in tow, jumping right in becomes much more challenging.

Shenzhen is lovely. We live on the very edge of town, on a peninsula peeking out into the South China Sea. Traffic is slow and rather quiet, people smile on the street, and flowers and plants grow everywhere. This is the sub-tropics, where sudden downfalls are common and the thick humidity will not leave the air until late fall. My impression is that we have two seasons here - a long, wet summer and a long, dry fall. The temperature will not drop below 50 degrees, and the rain will stop almost entirely. It should be truly lovely here in a few months. Flowers and plants grow likely crazy, and on a walk this morning we came across the largest snail I have ever seen. Check this guy out!

Passed the Test

A few things passed their first tests today.

#1: The Black-Out Curtains
While Annika still woke up at around 5:30am, her sisters slept until 8:20. I hope that whoever created black-out curtains got a gold star for it.

#2: The Hotel Room
We moved into the wrong room last night - a 3-bedroom, rather than the 2-bedroom we reserved. But this morning, the 3-bedroom didn't seem so bad. It does have the girls sleeping as far from our bedroom as possible, which is a definite downside - especially if we ever want baby Annika out of our room. But otherwise, the set-up is quite comfortable. Dave talked the management down in price to a reasonable monthly rate, and so we will consider staying in this hotel (cum serviced apartment, should we stay) long term.

#3: The School
Sophia had an enrollment interview this afternoon, to determine her spot in the school. Taking place the day before school begins, I assumed this was a formality and put no stock in it. So, when the staff informed me that Sophia is a lovely child and a good fit for the school, and will be at the top of the Waiting List, I was floored. I explained that no one had told me we were on a waiting list. She very patiently pointed out that no one told me Sophia was even admitted... because she wasn't, yet.
This caused a bit of stress and prayer. And when I changed my language with Sophia from you'll be here tomorrow to probably next week, I looked the administrator in the eye. She nodded her head.
And then, she worked some magic. I got a call a few hours later saying that they had maneuvered their program a bit, and could fit our preschooler in. She can start tomorrow, jettisoning their entire interview process.
Other things have impressed me already - no school uniforms, a community vibe, meet the teacher night the evening before class starts. But this one left me pleased as punch.

#4: The Teachers
Meet the Teacher Night began at 5:00. We were on the grounds at 4:59. We went straight to Lilly's classroom, because she was still excited and "only a little bit scared." We found the class lists, and then searched for her classroom. Her grip on my hand grew tighter with each step, and she began to shrink into my skirt as we entered her building. Stiff-armed, I pulled her strongly into the classroom. Mrs. B was on her knees on the carpet, talking animatedly to another student. Lilly shrunk a bit further. Then Mrs. B turned to us, and I introduced myself. Mrs B introduced herself to Lilly, buzzing her hand in the air but promising not to sting. And then Lilly introduced herself, using her full name. This had stuck in Mrs B's head, because it is a truly fantastic name. And then she asked if Lilly knew the book Lilly and the Purple Plastic Purse. Her hand loosened as she explained that we have the book on our shelf. When we found her name posted on her cubby, she let go of my hand to touch the nametag. A few more minutes, and we left for Sophia's classroom, where they were playing with playdough. Sophia barely spoke to us the entire time, making paintings for her teachers instead. She was sold instantly, but Mrs B passed the test as well.

As we walked away, Lilly said that she's excited about school tomorrow.

And then,
I did meet the teacher tonight, but I didn't get to meet any of the kids tonight. So I'm still a little bit scared. Oh, a ramp! Can I run up it?

So, tomorrow will be another test for her. But I think she'll pass.

Moving Day, I

It seems true quite often - that on moving day, everything goes horribly wrong. From the vantage point of the couch in our hotel in Shenzhen, it all feels like water under the bridge. But a few hours ago...

1:30AM, Tuesday morning
Dave and I are still packing. The airline has given us a total allowance of 80kg. That is 176 pounds for 5 people to live off of for about 1 month. It took more creativity than we had on reserve by that time of night, and so we soon called it quits.

6:30AM, Tuesday morning
At this time of morning, the sun was up. And so, Annika, Sophia and I were up as well. I'm hoping the black-out curtains in this hotel will live up to their name, and give us all a late morning! I got right to the packing.

9:45AM
The girls are packed in the car with our friend and driver, Jordon. They've been waiting out there for 20 minutes, because I can't get things finished enough to walk away for a few hours. Finally I run to the car, and arrive ten minutes late for our 10:00 doctor appointment.

10:40AM
Annika needed one blood test for her Medical Clearance. Once Dave gets the call, everything must be in order for our family to go directly to post. Annika's paperwork was entirely in order, except for her weak Du. Hoping this would be a quick job, I brought everyone with me to the hospital, and carried a long list of stops afterward. We sat in the waiting room for 30 minutes, because no one could figure out what the test was or how to order it. Once it came, things began happening. We were all shuffled into a small room, where they explained that at 3 months, an infant is too young to have blood drawn from a syringe. Rather, they enter a needle directly into her vein and allow the blood to drip out at its own pace. This will take over 5 minutes, they explained. It still makes me feel queazy to think about it, and it made me cry to hover over a baby in such pain for so long. Especially as her sisters beat each other in the background.

12:00NOON
After billing problems, we finally left the hospital. It should come as no surprise that the billing problems were never resolved. We picked up baby formula delivered from the states by a good friend (thank again, Deanna!) and headed to lunch. Dave promised to meet us at 12:30.

12:20PM
We arrived at the restaurant.

12:30PM
Sophia explains that she needs to go pee. Annika begins crying incessantly. Sophia can not go pee alone, because the restaurant only has squat pots. I can not possibly leave a crying baby in the middle of a restaurant, only watched by her 4 year old sister. So Sophia has to wait until Daddy arrives - any minute, we are sure.

12:40PM
Annika is buckled into her car seat, and I am swinging her in large arcs. This is the only way to keep her quiet, poor girl. Sophia was standing on her chair. But now the chair is lying on its back, and her face has hit the floor. The staff have run to her (and I am swinging a car seat, and so unable to move swiftly), so I can not get through to her. Hurt, scared, and now embarassed. Supermom that I am, I pick her up to sing to her without missing a beat in the car seat swing for Annika.

12:50PM
Dave arrives to a quiet and orderly table. Quiet because both girls have been summarily scolded, warned (and completely convinced) that any noise from either of them will result in their eating dinner at another table.

1:30PM
Another stop at a friend's house, picking up Lilly's old crib. Mei Mei will need it, so it must travel soon to Shenzhen.

2:30PM
The girls begin quiet time, and I run a few last errands. When I return to Shanghai, it will be late on the night before movers arrive. Anything I want packed ought to be in the house when I arrive, so that shopping needed to happen today. Jordon zipped me around town, and I accomplished nearly everything.

4:30PM
After good-byes to Wendy, and all of the folks in our lane, we took off. Five large bags, 3 car seats, 2 strollers, and 8 carry-ons.

6:00PM
We sit to eat at an airport cafe. Nothing tasted good, but we had a lovely view of the runway.

6:30PM
Our flight is schedule to depart.

7:15PM
Our flight departed

9:30PM
We landed in Shenzhen.
We realize that Shanghai is quite a Western city, and that we have landed in China. People push and crowd. There are no Western toilets - only squat pots, with suspiciously wet floors surrounding. But a driver is waiting, and helps wheel the luggage out so we can carry our tired girls.

11:30PM
We are finally in our hotel room, for the night. We've reserved a 2-bedroom serviced apartment for the rest of the month, but apparently someone else came earlier tonight. So they gave it away. We're not sure the purpose of our credit card security deposit, if they did not plan to hold our room. So, no unpacking this evening. Just digging through all 13 pieces of luggage for the bits and pieces we need to make it through the night. Tomorrow, we will move again. But hopefully after a very good night's sleep had by all.

Overall, really, we can count the day as a success. Once we were joined by Daddy, things began to work much smoother. We kept both Jordon and Wendy busy all day long, making me so thankful for their constant help! The transition into our new home in Shenzhen will certainly be more difficult, without either of them around to help. And now, tomorrow each of our girls has the chance to meet their teachers and see their classrooms. This will be the make-or-break for Lilly, so pray that it goes well.

12:47AM, Wednesday morning
I'm exhausted, and going to sleep.

Heading South

The verdict is in. Uncle H-- informed us on Wednesday evening that we will, in fact, be moving to Shenzhen. We stepped on a flight to the white sand beaches of Hainan Island early the next morning, and returned to Shanghai this evening. Our flight for Shenzhen leaves at 6:30 on Tuesday night, and school starts on Thursday.

All of that within 1 week's time.

I've got a crazy To Do List for the next day, the next week, and the next month. Tomorrow will be a bit nutty, but not actually as overwhelming as one might think. We will move directly into a serviced apartment in Shenzhen, one within walking distance of the grocery store. I will return to Shanghai in a few weeks to pack up the house, and hand the keys over to the landlord. As I'll travel without kids, I'll be able to race around town at breakneck speed and checks loads of things off of the list.

So, the focus for the next week is to make this transition as smooth as possible for the girls. Questions like how to keep the girls amused over the next few days, while I'm busy shopping and packing and how to fit the moses basket and antique rocker onto the airplane plague me.

But, as far as moves go, this one seems rather simple. The girls are already enrolled in the right school - one which seems very community focused, having already invited our family to join others at a local restaurant on Wednesday night. The school lies inside a complex where we can afford to live, and so I only plan to view homes inside that complex. There's also a church and a library in the complex, all of which make me think that it will have a built-in community as well. Plus, simply living within walking distance of the school and church mean that we can easily spend casual time with the people we meet.

Bonus points, that we will be within walking distance of the ferry to Hong Kong.

Further bonus points that we don't anticipate living there past February. I will not make the same mistake as in this home: We will rent our home assuming we will live there for a year; we will have a comfortable guest room, and plenty of space for Mei Mei to move in. However, I don't feel the pressure of needing to fit in so strongly. It feels more like an extended vacation than like a move.

I believe the girls are approaching it that way as well. Lilly asked me recently if, since we are moving now, can she please invite her cousin to her birthday party? I explained that we'll still be in China, and not yet in America.

Lilly: So, when will we move to America, and live near Jack and William?
Lynne: I think probably after Christmas. Until then, we'll go to school in Shenzhen.
Lilly: (reassured) Okay.

They've been prepared for a summer move for quite some time now. I think that they're not thrown by this news, because they've been expecting it all along. As Washington DC means very little to them as a place, why should Shenzhen be a scary stopping point?

Hyperventilating

Still no decision on Shenzhen, although Dave will formally interview for the role tomorrow morning. This means that a decision by Friday is possible. But Dave's boss advises that once the contract to consult has been accepted, the two companies still face negotiations which could take a few weeks.

So, we stand to lose the lease on our current home.

Lease runs out on Aug. 30th, and we have yet to tell them we want to renew. Should we say yes, and immediately face a 2-month penalty for canceling? Should we say no, and be forced to leave on Sep. 1?

Here's the best potential scenario I can come up with:

Because of confidence in the move to Shenzhen, we lose the lease on this house.
Because that confidence is not amazingly strong, we do not begin school in Shenzhen on the first day - Aug. 12th.
Because things have not yet finalized, we begin school in Shanghai on Aug. 23rd.
Even better if we are forced to move out of this house before a decision has been made - maybe live in a hotel for a week?
Move to Shenzhen after school has begun in both places, causing all sorts of transitional angst for our kids.
And then get the call to the October class, and move to DC.

Likely? Absolutely not. But still keeping me awake at night.

Hot! Hot! Hot!

We reveled in beautiful summer weather for weeks, with blue sky highs in the mid 80s and lows in the low 70s. We ate many dinners on the balcony, and had many dates at outdoor restaurants. I wore jeans sometimes! Its been an amazing summer, so I can hardly complain that the heat has finally hit Shanghai.

Yesterday had a high temperature of 98F / 37C with up to 95% humidity. The air conditioner and the shade trees keep the downstairs of our house pretty comfortable, and the swimming pool keeps us happy. But our bedroom sits perched on top of the house, with large windows flooding it with light. The poor a/c unit in that room struggled to keep up last night, and each of the 5 members of our family sleeping in the master bed kicked off the covers while we slept.

The biggest benefit that the EXPO has brought to Shanghai is a summer of blue skies and white fluffy clouds. But the summer sun rises between 4:30 and 5:00 in this town, and so the house is awake around 7am. Good preparation for school in a few weeks, and the end of my lazy days sleeping until 8 or 9 every morning.