Our family is blessed with good health. Dave and I may get hit with the random cold or flu, but plenty of rest and fluids usually do the trick for us. Neither of us has seen a doctor while in Shanghai, and I hope to see that trend continue for the entirety of our stay here. However, I have been inside the expat clinics a number of times since we moved, with L-- and S--. There have been well-baby visits where S-- received shots. There have been ear aches, prescription refills and bouts of wheezing. Generally healthy problems, I imagine. And thank goodness - because I'm not impressed with the healthcare we receive. And I should note that we are said to be receiving the top available healthcare in China.
I took L-- in last week for flu-like symptoms and an ear ache. We saw a new doctor, because our regular pediatrician recently moved to the states. The correction in my thinking came quickly - we will not have a regular pediatrician in Shanghai. We visit a clinic, and we see whoever is available - we only hope that we will see a pediatrician. This time we saw a family practice doctor, whose manner with children was clearly not practiced. At one point he told L-- that what he was doing would hurt quite a bit if she wiggled at all. He was only looking inside her ears!
The doctor worked at his desk for a moment before coming to examine her, and did not wash his hands in the interim. He asked that L-- breathe through a nebulizer for 20 minutes, something which has been prescribed in the past. The nurse who came in to help with the nebulizer needed my help putting it together - she had just slathered her hands with lotion and they were too oily to work the machine. We left with the nebulizer and its pieces. Having experience with this machine, I knew that it needed to be cleaned after every use. Besides which, I only rented the machine this time and so wanted to rid it of other people's germs. She said not to worry - there is no need to clean it at all. This made me immediately nervous about the use we had in the office already - had it not been cleaned yet?
I am in regular contact with our pediatrician from St. Louis, whom I asked about these practices. He responded that "I'm shocked (shocked, I say!) to find that the country that is home to SARS and Bird Flu has less than immaculate hygiene practices in place." Lets not even get into the spitting, peeing and even pooping on city streets and the frequency of strangers touching our children's hands and faces. Its no wonder we're sick more often here!
Sunday, March 30, 2008
Friday, March 28, 2008
Cash Society
China is a cash society. Checks do not exist and only high-end places accept credit cards. Everything is done on a cash basis.
This is made more complicated by the quantities of bills. They have the following RMB bills:
1 RMB - although the coin is more common
5 RMB
10 RMB
20 RMB
50 RMB - although this seems quite rare
100 RMB
That's it. As far as I know, they don't make a bill larger than 100 RMB. If they do, its not in regular circulation.
100 RMB is about $14.
So imagine if the largest bill in America were a ten.
This leads to some rather absurd scenarios.
Today I bought plane tickets for an upcoming flight to Japan. The tickets cost 13,020 RMB. Remember the largest bill is 100 RMB. I needed to hand a stack of 131 bills to a courier.
What's more, I had to retrieve this number of bills from a cash machine. This is necessary because as far as we know, our account can only be in one person's name. Dave's office set up the account, so its in his name. I cannot withdrw at the bank, but I seem perfectly able to use the atm and debit card. The ATM at the bank only distributes 2,500 RMB at one time - I realized because it can only handle 25 bills at one time. So I made 6 separate withdrawals, carried a wad of cash down the street, and then handed it to a complete stranger who spoke no English when he appeared at my door.
This is made more complicated by the quantities of bills. They have the following RMB bills:
1 RMB - although the coin is more common
5 RMB
10 RMB
20 RMB
50 RMB - although this seems quite rare
100 RMB
That's it. As far as I know, they don't make a bill larger than 100 RMB. If they do, its not in regular circulation.
100 RMB is about $14.
So imagine if the largest bill in America were a ten.
This leads to some rather absurd scenarios.
Today I bought plane tickets for an upcoming flight to Japan. The tickets cost 13,020 RMB. Remember the largest bill is 100 RMB. I needed to hand a stack of 131 bills to a courier.
What's more, I had to retrieve this number of bills from a cash machine. This is necessary because as far as we know, our account can only be in one person's name. Dave's office set up the account, so its in his name. I cannot withdrw at the bank, but I seem perfectly able to use the atm and debit card. The ATM at the bank only distributes 2,500 RMB at one time - I realized because it can only handle 25 bills at one time. So I made 6 separate withdrawals, carried a wad of cash down the street, and then handed it to a complete stranger who spoke no English when he appeared at my door.
Thursday, March 27, 2008
Needing to Belong
Every winter, we faced the same feelings. By about mid-February, we thought we had no friends. We never spent any time with our neighbors, and many of our evenings were spent at home without any guests. We began to bemoan our situation, wondering whatever happened to all of the people who surrounded us last fall?
The weather would begin to brighten. On one of the first warm, sunny spring days we would decide to take a moment and sit on our front step. We'd watch the street perk up with springtime, everyone walking around with smiles on their faces, their jackets left inside. We'd talk to our neighbors as if they were old friends, people who'd been away on vacation for months. We'd invite people over for dinner, and we'd join them for walks or coffee.
It seems that we are front porch people. We love to belong. And maybe by "we" I mean everybody, because who doesn't love to belong? In our house, on our street, we belonged to a neighborhood. We were important members of our block, and part of the daily lives of the people whose homes surrounded ours. We also belonged to a church; we belonged to a small group; we belonged to alumni groups; we belonged to interest groups. We had friends all over the city, and we came together with them often over common interests and arranged meetings.
In Shanghai, I rest assured that I have friends. There are plenty of people who enjoy the company of me and of my children. We have no trouble arranging playdates or making new friends on the playground.
But I've come to realize that I still feel lonely, and I believe it is because I don't belong to anything. Even with friends a phone call away, every meeting is a purposeful appointment and takes effort. There is no time that we naturally come together.
I came to realize this because a few of the ladies I feel closest to were in a music class with their children and mine. Each session lasts 8 weeks. I didn't think twice before signing up for the new session. My girls sing the music class songs at home and need the social interaction, but I also enjoyed meeting up with my group of friends regularly.
The new session started Wednesday.
We arrived late, as usual.
We did not know anyone.
None of our regular friends had decided to take the course again.
And in a place I knew, with a teacher I knew, surrounded by people, I felt very lonely.
The weather would begin to brighten. On one of the first warm, sunny spring days we would decide to take a moment and sit on our front step. We'd watch the street perk up with springtime, everyone walking around with smiles on their faces, their jackets left inside. We'd talk to our neighbors as if they were old friends, people who'd been away on vacation for months. We'd invite people over for dinner, and we'd join them for walks or coffee.
It seems that we are front porch people. We love to belong. And maybe by "we" I mean everybody, because who doesn't love to belong? In our house, on our street, we belonged to a neighborhood. We were important members of our block, and part of the daily lives of the people whose homes surrounded ours. We also belonged to a church; we belonged to a small group; we belonged to alumni groups; we belonged to interest groups. We had friends all over the city, and we came together with them often over common interests and arranged meetings.
In Shanghai, I rest assured that I have friends. There are plenty of people who enjoy the company of me and of my children. We have no trouble arranging playdates or making new friends on the playground.
But I've come to realize that I still feel lonely, and I believe it is because I don't belong to anything. Even with friends a phone call away, every meeting is a purposeful appointment and takes effort. There is no time that we naturally come together.
I came to realize this because a few of the ladies I feel closest to were in a music class with their children and mine. Each session lasts 8 weeks. I didn't think twice before signing up for the new session. My girls sing the music class songs at home and need the social interaction, but I also enjoyed meeting up with my group of friends regularly.
The new session started Wednesday.
We arrived late, as usual.
We did not know anyone.
None of our regular friends had decided to take the course again.
And in a place I knew, with a teacher I knew, surrounded by people, I felt very lonely.
Monday, March 24, 2008
Guest Post: Manager Effectiveness
Last week, my company provided me with a training session on Manager Effectiveness. We discussed ways to motivate our employees and help keep our top performers at Uncle H. This is a tough thing to do in China, where people never leave their employer just for a 10-20% increase - it's always at least 30% and usually 50% and often 100% more money. How do you convince someone to work for half the pay they could get somewhere else?
It was reiterated several times at this session that the best (some say only) measure of a manager's effectiveness is "regrettable turnover". That is, an effective manager rarely has a valued employee leave.
Well, I joined the China Benefits Consulting team (called RFM in our lingo) last October. This is a team of 12 in Shanghai, about 20 across China. Two employees left in October. I didn't get the chance to know them well enough to identify them as "regrettable" or otherwise. Anyway I wasn't the manager. Yet. Then the manager left in December. Not my fault, I hope. But then I became the manager.
Two more left in January. Let's just call one of them "regrettable". Two more were announced today. Both regrettable. Only one was a direct report here in Shanghai, the other was in Beijing.
So, since I became a manager of a team of 11 in December, I have had 2 "regrettable turnovers". As the leader (in name) of the Greater China Benefits team, I have had 3 "regrettable turnovers" in a team of 20. In 3 months. Annualize that rate. A regrettable turnover rate of almost 80% for my direct reports, and 60% for my broader team. Of course it is impossible to reach such a high rate because only so many people can be considered "regrettable" when they leave. I'm pushing the upper bound.
This does not leave my confidence in my "manager effectiveness" at a terribly high level. Apparently some of my team noticed this today as I was leaving shortly after announcing the latest departures. Tonight at 11 pm I received the following text message from a couple of the newer members of our team:
Hi Dave, sorry can't do something to help u retain our experienced colleague. I know u r innocent. But we r still very appreciate ur committment on our team. We also have the confidence to face the challenge before us. Remember, nothing is impossible. Y-- and me r gonna work close with u to defend our RFM's glorious. Hope u feel better now! Good nite! J&Y
I do feel better.
It was reiterated several times at this session that the best (some say only) measure of a manager's effectiveness is "regrettable turnover". That is, an effective manager rarely has a valued employee leave.
Well, I joined the China Benefits Consulting team (called RFM in our lingo) last October. This is a team of 12 in Shanghai, about 20 across China. Two employees left in October. I didn't get the chance to know them well enough to identify them as "regrettable" or otherwise. Anyway I wasn't the manager. Yet. Then the manager left in December. Not my fault, I hope. But then I became the manager.
Two more left in January. Let's just call one of them "regrettable". Two more were announced today. Both regrettable. Only one was a direct report here in Shanghai, the other was in Beijing.
So, since I became a manager of a team of 11 in December, I have had 2 "regrettable turnovers". As the leader (in name) of the Greater China Benefits team, I have had 3 "regrettable turnovers" in a team of 20. In 3 months. Annualize that rate. A regrettable turnover rate of almost 80% for my direct reports, and 60% for my broader team. Of course it is impossible to reach such a high rate because only so many people can be considered "regrettable" when they leave. I'm pushing the upper bound.
This does not leave my confidence in my "manager effectiveness" at a terribly high level. Apparently some of my team noticed this today as I was leaving shortly after announcing the latest departures. Tonight at 11 pm I received the following text message from a couple of the newer members of our team:
Hi Dave, sorry can't do something to help u retain our experienced colleague. I know u r innocent. But we r still very appreciate ur committment on our team. We also have the confidence to face the challenge before us. Remember, nothing is impossible. Y-- and me r gonna work close with u to defend our RFM's glorious. Hope u feel better now! Good nite! J&Y
I do feel better.
Sunday, March 23, 2008
2008 Beijing Olympics
Those of you considering visiting this summer, you ought to take the summer games into account. The Beijing Olympics will take place from August 8th through the 24th. Some events will take place in Shanghai. The tourism industry is expecting many people to make vacations out of their trips to the Olympics.
In short, rumor is that tickets to China around the time of the Olympics may be quadruple their regular price, if not higher. A quick search on American Airlines' website found tickets for a 10 day trip in early August to be nearly double the price of the same trip in late May.
We really hope this will not keep anyone from a potential visit. If it helps, our schedules are mighty flexible. Please let us know if we can help in any way.
In short, rumor is that tickets to China around the time of the Olympics may be quadruple their regular price, if not higher. A quick search on American Airlines' website found tickets for a 10 day trip in early August to be nearly double the price of the same trip in late May.
We really hope this will not keep anyone from a potential visit. If it helps, our schedules are mighty flexible. Please let us know if we can help in any way.
English Lessons
Our ayi speaks no English. And as far as I can tell, she has no intention of learning. But she is picking up a few words from working with our family. She now says "hello" and "mommy."
Hello because our S-- is a very social girl, and repeats hello, hello whenever she sees someone. Xiao Wang is greeted thus multiple times every day.
Our L-- is not such a social girl. Whenever she sees Xiao Wang, she yells Mommy! and runs in the other direction.
Hello because our S-- is a very social girl, and repeats hello, hello whenever she sees someone. Xiao Wang is greeted thus multiple times every day.
Our L-- is not such a social girl. Whenever she sees Xiao Wang, she yells Mommy! and runs in the other direction.
Saturday, March 22, 2008
International Party Weekend
Yesterday we celebrated two birthdays. Amelie turned 2, and had a playgroup party in the afternoon. Naranjan turned 3, and had a family party in the evening. Amelie is from Germany, and her birthday party resembled anything I would organize. They had cake, streamers and birthday presents. And the birthday girl ran around, full of energy, with a smile constantly pasted to her face and an endless stream of chatter running out of her mouth. Amelie has an older brother, so there were big boys at the party. Also, Amelie only speaks German, and most of her friends - and their mothers - speak German as well. It was a lovely party.
After eating our cake and playing with her toys, we picked up Daddy and moved on to Naranjan's house. Naranjan and his family are from southern India. His mother shared with me that an Indian birthday party is more of an adult affair, held in the evening. The whole family is invited and the kids play in the playroom while the adults talk. Apparently guests stayed last night until midnight, and the kids led the dancing at around 11:00 pm. Our children did not last that long, but we were able to enjoy the Indian delicasies that were served. And the more we eat Indian food, the more excited we are about the prospects of jumping to Indian next!
Today we hosted an Easter Egg Hunt. Our guests numbered 13 adults and 9 children, including our family. The weather proved quite dreary, wet and cold so we hunted out our eggs and ate our brunch inside our apartment. The company brightened the room considerably, and everyone enjoyed the morning. As it turned out, our family made up some of the only people at the party who celebrate Easter, or who had ever been to an Easter Egg Hunt. I am afraid we disappointed some of the uninitiated, as an indoor Easter Egg Hunt with children primarily under 2 is a pale comparison to what the White House holds on its lawn. Still, each of the children sought out a few eggs and enjoyed themselves immensely. And I love to list the nationalities. Invited were:
Turkish: 1 family
German: 1 family
Brazilian: 1 family
Netherlander: 1 family
American: 1 family
Korean: 1 family
Indian: 2 families
Malaysian: 1 family
Australian: 1 family
I must admit, I'm quite pleased with myself and our life as I look over that list. Tomorrow we will share a more traditional Easter dinner with a Canadian woman, her Chinese-American husband, and their 3 girls who were born in Canada but have lived in China for over half of their lives. Add 'em to the list!
After eating our cake and playing with her toys, we picked up Daddy and moved on to Naranjan's house. Naranjan and his family are from southern India. His mother shared with me that an Indian birthday party is more of an adult affair, held in the evening. The whole family is invited and the kids play in the playroom while the adults talk. Apparently guests stayed last night until midnight, and the kids led the dancing at around 11:00 pm. Our children did not last that long, but we were able to enjoy the Indian delicasies that were served. And the more we eat Indian food, the more excited we are about the prospects of jumping to Indian next!
Today we hosted an Easter Egg Hunt. Our guests numbered 13 adults and 9 children, including our family. The weather proved quite dreary, wet and cold so we hunted out our eggs and ate our brunch inside our apartment. The company brightened the room considerably, and everyone enjoyed the morning. As it turned out, our family made up some of the only people at the party who celebrate Easter, or who had ever been to an Easter Egg Hunt. I am afraid we disappointed some of the uninitiated, as an indoor Easter Egg Hunt with children primarily under 2 is a pale comparison to what the White House holds on its lawn. Still, each of the children sought out a few eggs and enjoyed themselves immensely. And I love to list the nationalities. Invited were:
Turkish: 1 family
German: 1 family
Brazilian: 1 family
Netherlander: 1 family
American: 1 family
Korean: 1 family
Indian: 2 families
Malaysian: 1 family
Australian: 1 family
I must admit, I'm quite pleased with myself and our life as I look over that list. Tomorrow we will share a more traditional Easter dinner with a Canadian woman, her Chinese-American husband, and their 3 girls who were born in Canada but have lived in China for over half of their lives. Add 'em to the list!
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
Six Months In
Yesterday marked the six month anniversary of our arrival in Shanghai. To celebrate the occasion, we had chicken parmigiana (homemade, with Vanilla Almond Special K substituted for bread crumbs) and a frozen cherry pie ala mode.
Six months in to Culture Shock and Living in China, and its interesting to look back at the direction each month took.
September - vacation
We spent less than 2 weeks of September in Shanghai. Dave was not working, and our hotel was located in a very exciting part of town. Although we didn't venture far, it felt much more like vacation than like a move.
October - exciting and new
Dave started work in October, and the girls and I began venturing out further and further. We found ourselves managing at local grocery stores, in Chinese restaurants and walking in the rain. We took our first trip in China, to Xiamen, and got to know Dave's co-workers.
November - moving in
Our lease began on November 1st. We had a large crate to unpack, full of the things of home which felt just wonderful. The excitement of building our new home was wonderful. We had to buy furniture, dishes, bedding, food, nearly everything to outfit a home. We unpacked and we explored our new neighborhood. The weather was often warm and dry, and we enjoyed our new surroundings.
December - overwhelmed
Four months in is a classic time to feel culture shock the hardest - to hate the place, and be ready to leave. Our troubles were further compounded by an unresponsive landlord and many broken items in our apartment, including a broken washer in the midst of travel. The girls and I both spent most of the month sick with a bug which passed through much of Shanghai. Runny noses, headaches and exhaustion lasted about 3 weeks. Life in Shanghai with two young girls is exhausting enough already, but being sick for 3 weeks on top was miserable. I have since learned that this particular bug often affected people neurologically as well, making many patients grumpy and irritable. What bad timing!
January - warily refreshed
We returned from our Christmas holidays having spent a lovely chunk of time together, and having made plans for most of my concrete troubles. These plans would be slowly implemented, over the course of the next few months. But having plans, and having a trip to the U.S. to look forward to helped me maintain my optimist. I made quite a few new friends and started a successful playgroup, but still yearned to return home to St. Louis.
February - home leave
We spent the entire month of January in the states visiting family and friends. It was lovely. We saw every member of our immediate family, and L-- and S-- did quite well both with the many changes and the many faces happy to see them. I reveled in the outpouring of love, and in being surrounded by my family and friends.
But something surprised me. By the end of the month, I was ready to return to Shanghai. Even though we slept in our bed at my parents' house, I felt my bed in Shanghai calling me for a good nights' sleep. We felt a draw to our new home, our routines and schedules, some time alone and our friends.
March - returning home
With all of our planned changes in place, life has improved dramatically. We have a part-time ayi, a full-time driver and we leave Shanghai at least 1 weekend every month. The girls and I get out of the house once a day. And among these changes, we've realized that we like it here. We like the Indian restaurant that deliver hot samosas and soft garlic naan to us on a nearly weekly basis. We like our apartment, the space just large enough to meet our needs. The sun is coming out more and the weather is warming, so that we can enjoy being outdoors in Shanghai. The playgrounds are full on weekday afternoons, and I meet someone new nearly every time we go. And I like my friends. I realized that I do have friends here, and that I am looking forward to continuing to live this life with them.
We invited a few people over for an Easter Egg Hunt on Saturday morning. We expected only 1 or 2 families to attend. At this point, it looks as if we may have as many as 16 adults and 10 children! We do have friends, and we have some exciting ways to get to know people and interesting new ways to celebrate our holidays.
According to a book I have on culture shock, the 6th month tends to be when your settle into life in your new place. And relying on anecdotal evidence amongst my friends, when you decide that Shanghai is home is when you like it more often than you hate it. Both seem to be true for me.
Six months in to Culture Shock and Living in China, and its interesting to look back at the direction each month took.
September - vacation
We spent less than 2 weeks of September in Shanghai. Dave was not working, and our hotel was located in a very exciting part of town. Although we didn't venture far, it felt much more like vacation than like a move.
October - exciting and new
Dave started work in October, and the girls and I began venturing out further and further. We found ourselves managing at local grocery stores, in Chinese restaurants and walking in the rain. We took our first trip in China, to Xiamen, and got to know Dave's co-workers.
November - moving in
Our lease began on November 1st. We had a large crate to unpack, full of the things of home which felt just wonderful. The excitement of building our new home was wonderful. We had to buy furniture, dishes, bedding, food, nearly everything to outfit a home. We unpacked and we explored our new neighborhood. The weather was often warm and dry, and we enjoyed our new surroundings.
December - overwhelmed
Four months in is a classic time to feel culture shock the hardest - to hate the place, and be ready to leave. Our troubles were further compounded by an unresponsive landlord and many broken items in our apartment, including a broken washer in the midst of travel. The girls and I both spent most of the month sick with a bug which passed through much of Shanghai. Runny noses, headaches and exhaustion lasted about 3 weeks. Life in Shanghai with two young girls is exhausting enough already, but being sick for 3 weeks on top was miserable. I have since learned that this particular bug often affected people neurologically as well, making many patients grumpy and irritable. What bad timing!
January - warily refreshed
We returned from our Christmas holidays having spent a lovely chunk of time together, and having made plans for most of my concrete troubles. These plans would be slowly implemented, over the course of the next few months. But having plans, and having a trip to the U.S. to look forward to helped me maintain my optimist. I made quite a few new friends and started a successful playgroup, but still yearned to return home to St. Louis.
February - home leave
We spent the entire month of January in the states visiting family and friends. It was lovely. We saw every member of our immediate family, and L-- and S-- did quite well both with the many changes and the many faces happy to see them. I reveled in the outpouring of love, and in being surrounded by my family and friends.
But something surprised me. By the end of the month, I was ready to return to Shanghai. Even though we slept in our bed at my parents' house, I felt my bed in Shanghai calling me for a good nights' sleep. We felt a draw to our new home, our routines and schedules, some time alone and our friends.
March - returning home
With all of our planned changes in place, life has improved dramatically. We have a part-time ayi, a full-time driver and we leave Shanghai at least 1 weekend every month. The girls and I get out of the house once a day. And among these changes, we've realized that we like it here. We like the Indian restaurant that deliver hot samosas and soft garlic naan to us on a nearly weekly basis. We like our apartment, the space just large enough to meet our needs. The sun is coming out more and the weather is warming, so that we can enjoy being outdoors in Shanghai. The playgrounds are full on weekday afternoons, and I meet someone new nearly every time we go. And I like my friends. I realized that I do have friends here, and that I am looking forward to continuing to live this life with them.
We invited a few people over for an Easter Egg Hunt on Saturday morning. We expected only 1 or 2 families to attend. At this point, it looks as if we may have as many as 16 adults and 10 children! We do have friends, and we have some exciting ways to get to know people and interesting new ways to celebrate our holidays.
According to a book I have on culture shock, the 6th month tends to be when your settle into life in your new place. And relying on anecdotal evidence amongst my friends, when you decide that Shanghai is home is when you like it more often than you hate it. Both seem to be true for me.
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
A Place for Jesus
Shanghai has plenty of restaurants, ranging from high end steak houses to little noodle stands. The high end restaurants are quite high, due to imported ingredients as well as an economy flush with cash. The noodle stands are everywhere, on every corner and in every other storefront. Often they have no menu, but if they do its written on a board in Chinese. We have not built up the courage to eat at them - they tend to be very busy and we speak very poor Chinese.
Given the plethora of restaurants, for American food the choices are slim. One restaurant stands out, but possibly more for the owner's gift of self-promotion than for the quality of food. Blue Frog serves the best burger in town - in this family of burger connoisseurs we find it acceptable, but nothing compared to some of the best burgers in the Midwest. But they do serve buy one get one free burgers on Monday evenings, so we often find ourselves at one of their tables at the beginning of the week.
This week the weather has begun to warm, and temperatures often sit in the 60s well into the evening. On this day, we decided to eat outside but most people in Shanghai opted for the indoor tables. We sat alone on the patio. We adjusted our table to fit two highchairs, but ended up leaving one empty chair at our round table. L-- asked who we had left the chair for, and refering to the old Christian story of being open to Christ's appearance, we jokingly told her we had left the place for Jesus. She looked at us rather quizzically, and then ran off to play in the fountain.
Our food came, and we dug in. We had been in Shanghai for long enough for their burgers to taste great, and the girls enjoyed their chicken fingers and steamed veggies as well. But soon on the empty patio, we had a visitor. An old Chinese man layered in old clothes with a large, old wrap over the entire package sidled up to our table and held out a cup for change. Following the decision made in America not to give money to beggars, we first asked him to leave and then studiously ignored him. In America, the majority of people reduced to begging are desparate to feed an addiction of some kind. In China, this is probably not true. He may well have been just an old man without enough money to feed himself.
Whatever his situation, he stood quietly by and waited for our money. He stood right next to L--, our timid 2 year old. Quite close to her, in fact, silently waiting for one of us to put some change in his cup. She quietly and consistently asked us to make him leave. After a few minutes, we found the situation unacceptable and called out the staff to send him away. Quite helpful, they immediately ushered him on and L-- broke down in frightened tears. The man had looked quite scary, and we both understood why she cried.
A few moments into our now peaceful dinner, Dave looked at the empty chair and said
I think we just sent away Jesus.
This man probably had no desire to sit with us, eat burgers and discuss the differences in our lives. But the fact remains - we left a seat for Jesus and then we sent him away.
For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, - Matthew 25:35
Given the plethora of restaurants, for American food the choices are slim. One restaurant stands out, but possibly more for the owner's gift of self-promotion than for the quality of food. Blue Frog serves the best burger in town - in this family of burger connoisseurs we find it acceptable, but nothing compared to some of the best burgers in the Midwest. But they do serve buy one get one free burgers on Monday evenings, so we often find ourselves at one of their tables at the beginning of the week.
This week the weather has begun to warm, and temperatures often sit in the 60s well into the evening. On this day, we decided to eat outside but most people in Shanghai opted for the indoor tables. We sat alone on the patio. We adjusted our table to fit two highchairs, but ended up leaving one empty chair at our round table. L-- asked who we had left the chair for, and refering to the old Christian story of being open to Christ's appearance, we jokingly told her we had left the place for Jesus. She looked at us rather quizzically, and then ran off to play in the fountain.
Our food came, and we dug in. We had been in Shanghai for long enough for their burgers to taste great, and the girls enjoyed their chicken fingers and steamed veggies as well. But soon on the empty patio, we had a visitor. An old Chinese man layered in old clothes with a large, old wrap over the entire package sidled up to our table and held out a cup for change. Following the decision made in America not to give money to beggars, we first asked him to leave and then studiously ignored him. In America, the majority of people reduced to begging are desparate to feed an addiction of some kind. In China, this is probably not true. He may well have been just an old man without enough money to feed himself.
Whatever his situation, he stood quietly by and waited for our money. He stood right next to L--, our timid 2 year old. Quite close to her, in fact, silently waiting for one of us to put some change in his cup. She quietly and consistently asked us to make him leave. After a few minutes, we found the situation unacceptable and called out the staff to send him away. Quite helpful, they immediately ushered him on and L-- broke down in frightened tears. The man had looked quite scary, and we both understood why she cried.
A few moments into our now peaceful dinner, Dave looked at the empty chair and said
I think we just sent away Jesus.
This man probably had no desire to sit with us, eat burgers and discuss the differences in our lives. But the fact remains - we left a seat for Jesus and then we sent him away.
For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, - Matthew 25:35
Avian Flu
Dave and I heard rumors that a child had died of the avian flu in the Shenzhen area over the weekend. We also heard rumors that travel and from Hong Kong was being restricted due to babies dying from horrible strains of the flu virus, possibly linked to the avian flu. We spent the weekend in Shenzhen, just across the border from Hong Kong. We spent some time at a zoo with loads of birds within arms reach. We rarely washed our hands.
So when L-- woke up with a temperature of over 100.3 this morning, we acted with due paranoia. I made an immediate appointment with the only doctor available all day - a French family practice doctor. We were ushered into the room immediately, and he very nicely cajoled L-- into opening her mouth for him and allowing his little light access to her ears and nose. Her temperature had returned to normal, and he asked me why I had brought her in this morning.
I was hesitant to admit the real answer. Well, we were in Shenzhen this weekend and we heard there was an outbreak of avian flu, and she had a fever this morning... I trailed off.
His expression changed to one of exasperation. He became no less friendly. He seemed more exasperated with rumors and public health than with me.
One child died of the flu in Hong Kong. It was a specific strain of the virus, which is both bad and common. He clearly had other health problems as well. This is not the avian flu, and it is no reason not to travel to Hong Kong or Shenzhen. Loads of people die of the flu every year; even in my country; even in your country.
My paranoia fully cured, I was still glad we brought her in. She probably has mild bronchitis and he gave us a prescription for her cough and inflamed throat, which I promptly lost on the way home. It has since occurred to me that the American Embassy in China would probably contact us if there were a viable health threat in the area.
We have received repeated emails from the Embassy warning us about travel to Tibet. In a quick tangent, I was able to hear a Chinese press conference translated into English on the cab ride to the doctor's office this morning. They took questions about Tibet at that time. I heard nothing about violence or oppression of minorities. But the Chinese government made itself quite clear.
Our position has not changed. If the Dalai Lama will admit that Tibet and Taiwan are both integral parts of China, there will be no more problem. The Dalai Lama must admit this not only in words, but also in his actions and the actions of those groups worldwide acting and protesting on his behalf.
So when L-- woke up with a temperature of over 100.3 this morning, we acted with due paranoia. I made an immediate appointment with the only doctor available all day - a French family practice doctor. We were ushered into the room immediately, and he very nicely cajoled L-- into opening her mouth for him and allowing his little light access to her ears and nose. Her temperature had returned to normal, and he asked me why I had brought her in this morning.
I was hesitant to admit the real answer. Well, we were in Shenzhen this weekend and we heard there was an outbreak of avian flu, and she had a fever this morning... I trailed off.
His expression changed to one of exasperation. He became no less friendly. He seemed more exasperated with rumors and public health than with me.
One child died of the flu in Hong Kong. It was a specific strain of the virus, which is both bad and common. He clearly had other health problems as well. This is not the avian flu, and it is no reason not to travel to Hong Kong or Shenzhen. Loads of people die of the flu every year; even in my country; even in your country.
My paranoia fully cured, I was still glad we brought her in. She probably has mild bronchitis and he gave us a prescription for her cough and inflamed throat, which I promptly lost on the way home. It has since occurred to me that the American Embassy in China would probably contact us if there were a viable health threat in the area.
We have received repeated emails from the Embassy warning us about travel to Tibet. In a quick tangent, I was able to hear a Chinese press conference translated into English on the cab ride to the doctor's office this morning. They took questions about Tibet at that time. I heard nothing about violence or oppression of minorities. But the Chinese government made itself quite clear.
Our position has not changed. If the Dalai Lama will admit that Tibet and Taiwan are both integral parts of China, there will be no more problem. The Dalai Lama must admit this not only in words, but also in his actions and the actions of those groups worldwide acting and protesting on his behalf.
Sunday, March 16, 2008
The Wonder Center
Last you read, I was filled with hope and excitement after my tour of The Wonder Center, the preschool I have chosen for L-- to attend this fall. It turns out that although my excitement at the school itself is certainly still deserved, my hopes at L-- attending are beginning to fail. It turns out that the school only opened its doors a few months ago. With a goal of serving 30 students, the class is only about 10 large right now and the teacher is aiming for sustainable growth. She also wants an even distribution of children at each age and ability level, including some children for whom English is not their primary language and some children with learning disabilities. This should be a wonderfully diverse small school, but makes L--'s chances of attending in the fall that much slimmer.
We're putting all of our eggs in one basket here. After viewing this school, I realized that I can't bear to send her to any of the other options available to us. Our plan is to put her on the waiting list at The Wonder Center if she is not enrolled immediately, and hope that she can attend by January.
We will continue to pray about this, and ask that you add this decision to your prayer list as well. I really do feel like we're in a bind.
We're putting all of our eggs in one basket here. After viewing this school, I realized that I can't bear to send her to any of the other options available to us. Our plan is to put her on the waiting list at The Wonder Center if she is not enrolled immediately, and hope that she can attend by January.
We will continue to pray about this, and ask that you add this decision to your prayer list as well. I really do feel like we're in a bind.
Shenzhen Sunday
Our last day in Shenzhen was a bit of a let down. Our plan was to hire a car and driver for 4 hours. We could load our luggage into the car, be driven to a park on the outskirts of town for a few hours, and then be dropped at the airport. Unfortunately, as helpful as the concierge tried to be, we could not find a driver for under 680 RMB - nearly $100 USD. We learned that the park had a left luggage area, and made the trip via 2 taxis for under 200 RMB instead.
The park we decided upon was the Shenzhen Safari Park. Not the safari park of my experience where you drive through fields where animals can live in relative aproximation of their natural habitat. Far from it, this was the classic Chinese abusive zoo. We saw trained dancing bears, dalmations pulling carts with human passengers, people separated from the animals by mere chain link fences, and plenty of animals being fed candy, chips and plastic bags through these thin fences. The treatment was appalling and I do not recommend anyone visit.
It seemed that the zookeepers bought their animals in bulk. We passed cages with the most peacocks I have ever seen, all crowded together and preening for each other. They looked quite the narcissistic bunch. There were loads of ostriches, all trying to peck at people's shoes. Dozens of tigers, thankfully viewed by a raised footbridge well above their pens. Interestingly, among the dozens of tigers was only 1 lion. They only had 1 panda as well, which they fed apples whenever someone wanted to take its picture. I suppose the entertainment came in smaller numbers, and it seems that the giant panda qualified as entertainment. We also only saw one dancing bear, one trained monkey, and one camel and elephant each prepared to give rides. Each of them looked miserable. Clearly no one had introduced the concept of animal rights to these zookeepers.
That said, we enjoyed the beautiful weather in the southwest of China on a lovely spring day. The close proximity to the animals kept both girls' attention, and the park was a wonderful place to wear out our girls so they both slept on the flight home. Altogether, Shenzhen turned out to be a wonderful weekend away.
The park we decided upon was the Shenzhen Safari Park. Not the safari park of my experience where you drive through fields where animals can live in relative aproximation of their natural habitat. Far from it, this was the classic Chinese abusive zoo. We saw trained dancing bears, dalmations pulling carts with human passengers, people separated from the animals by mere chain link fences, and plenty of animals being fed candy, chips and plastic bags through these thin fences. The treatment was appalling and I do not recommend anyone visit.
It seemed that the zookeepers bought their animals in bulk. We passed cages with the most peacocks I have ever seen, all crowded together and preening for each other. They looked quite the narcissistic bunch. There were loads of ostriches, all trying to peck at people's shoes. Dozens of tigers, thankfully viewed by a raised footbridge well above their pens. Interestingly, among the dozens of tigers was only 1 lion. They only had 1 panda as well, which they fed apples whenever someone wanted to take its picture. I suppose the entertainment came in smaller numbers, and it seems that the giant panda qualified as entertainment. We also only saw one dancing bear, one trained monkey, and one camel and elephant each prepared to give rides. Each of them looked miserable. Clearly no one had introduced the concept of animal rights to these zookeepers.
That said, we enjoyed the beautiful weather in the southwest of China on a lovely spring day. The close proximity to the animals kept both girls' attention, and the park was a wonderful place to wear out our girls so they both slept on the flight home. Altogether, Shenzhen turned out to be a wonderful weekend away.
Saturday, March 15, 2008
Shenzhen
Despite a few very Chinese encounters, our family has enjoyed a rather leisurely trip to Shenzhen. Rarely listed in the top Chinese cities to visit, the girls and I were tired of watching Daddy jumping on and off of airplanes. We were sick of spending nights and evenings without him. He had a Friday morning meeting scheduled in Shenzhen, so we tagged along.
Shenzhen must have been an urban planner’s dream come true. Around 30 years ago, the city had around 30,000 inhabitants and was nothing more than a fishing village. The Chinese government noted its strategic location on the border with Hong Kong, and decided to throw resources into making this an economic hot spot for trade and manufacturing. In only a few short decades the population has shot up to 8 million and the smog factor is one of the highest in the world.
The streets are wide. The sidewalks have no cracks. The metro is stroller friendly. In many ways, getting around Shenzhen was as simple as getting around Singapore - except that very few people spoke English, and Chinese customs certainly prevailed. We were pushed and cut off in every crowd. We saw duck necks, feet and even heads for sale in most snack stalls. And L—and S—received more pinches on the cheek and pats on the head than ever before – something S—reveled in and L—became militantly opposed to.
Our family clashed with Chinese culture most violently at the hotel. The company put us up in a luxury business hotel located in the center of town. Knowing that we would arrive late on Thursday evening, they called ahead to confirm that our Standard Room with a Queen size bed and a baby cot were guaranteed. No problem, we were assured.
We arrived with two sleepy children at about 11:00 at night. Ushered into the quiet expanse of the marble lobby, our expectations were high. The staff were polite, with limited English – the perfect place to test our newly growing Chinese vocabulary. The staff politely explained to us that there were no queen sized rooms available, and would we please settle for two twin beds?
Dave and I hate to hassle people. We go out of our way to make sure people are comfortable. We only registered for affordable items when we were married. We ensure parking spaces outside of our home when we throw parties. We accept other people’s errors and move on. But this was simply unacceptable. Our youngest daughter would sleep in the baby cot they said was waiting in our room, but our older toddler was to sleep in the bed between us. Two twin beds simply would not work.
We politely explained the problem. The man at the counter responded that he was sorry – there was nothing available.
No queen or king sized beds are available in the entire hotel? we countered.
No.
Begrudginly, we accepted. But on the condition that they provide us with free breakfast.
He asked how many people would be eating breakfast, and promptly added the cost to our bill.
Free breakfast, we corrected.
Breakfast costs 45 RMB per adult, he counter-corrected.
This led to a lengthy back and forth about how we feel we deserve breakfast on the house, because of the trouble they’re putting us through. After a few rounds of this, a room with a queen sized bed rather suddenly appeared. We had been upgraded to a Standard Suite – would that do?
Absolutely. That will do fine.
You will simply move to another room in the morning, when we have your standard queen room available.
No. We will not move tomorrow.
You do not want the standard suite?
We will take the suite. Thank you.
We grabbed the keys and ran. Then we walked guardedly the next day, waiting for someone to kick us out of what turned out to be a quite large and well appointed suite. Perfect for our family, it had a bedroom separated from the living room by a hallway, closet and a large bathroom which made for a wonderful sound barrier once the kids fell asleep. A sectional couch coupled with downy spare blankets created a cozy little bed for our toddler, and there was plenty of room for the baby cot they provided. We chose to ignore that it was both broken and easy to climb out of – we had complained enough.
The phone rang during naptime on Friday.
We have you new room prepared. Can you please move now?
No, we will not be moving.
(uncomfortable laughter) When you checked in last night, you were upgraded to a suite because your queen room was unavailable. That room is now available and you need to move. You could just hear the large smile on his face.
No, when we checked in last night we explained that we could not move. We have very young children who are both sleeping right now. It would be quite difficult to move at this point. I’m sure you understand. The words practically dripped out of my mouth, my tone was so sweet.
(more uncomfortable laughter) Yes, of course I understand.
The conversation was over. I thought we had won. Unfortunately, the hotel was more persistent and we would prove ourselves fools against the Chinese cultural norm of saving face. Just as we were finished putting the girls down for a late bedtime, the doorbell rang. A woman with very good English stood outside and explained the situation to me once more. That we had agreed to move today, and that our room was now ready.
I started sweetly. No, we reserved one room with a queen sized bed for the weekend. This is the room you provided. Our children are quite young and need to go to sleep. We will not be moving.
This woman was quite insistent. She bickered, and tried to catch us on our every word. At one point I argued that our company had called in advance to reserve a king sized room.
Your company called to guarantee a king sized room?
Yes, they did.
May I please have a contact at your company?
Why would you need to call someone at our company?
To explain to them that we do not have king sized rooms. We only have queen sized rooms, and we have one available for you at this moment down the hall.
It was silly the points she tried to catch us on. We did not allow her to call our company, and we quickly responded to this type of argument by childishly raising our voices and talking down to her. We berated her with attacks that we had done everything right – making a specific reservation, calling to confirm our specific reservation, guaranteeing that specific reservation with a credit card – and we made it clear that we would nnot be punished for the hotel’s mistake. This is your problem – not ours. I said that specifically, and in a bit of a yell.
In a very Chinese fashion, she maintained her ground quite solidly and very politely. I’m sorry, but you will have to move. You agreed to move last night and your reserved room is now ready.
Dave pulled the trump card – if you force us to change rooms, we will be very angry and insist that my company never send another client here again.
She paused. Then, please give me the phone number of your company. I will explain what happened. I’m sure they will understand.
Dave brought out his grown-up voice. No, we will explain what happened, and I guarantee you that we will not use this hotel again.
Now she needed to speak with her manager. She left.
Dave and I regrouped. I don’t have that kind of power, he said. I should not have yelled at her, I said. I can’t believe we’re so bad at dealing with Chinese people – this is a cultural norm we know about. New plan of attack – when she returns, we apologize for losing our tempers and lay it on thick about how we’re hoping to have a wonderful, relaxing weekend in this nice hotel with our young children who have loads of toys and have just settled in and shouldn’t really have their routines thrown like this, and how I’m sure she understands. I’m all composed and ready to humble myself. The doorbell rings again.
I spoke with the manager. You can stay in the room until you check out on Sunday, with the free upgrade.
Now my humble pie was much more sincere. I thanked her profusely. I apologized quite sincerely for losing my temper. I said that I’m sure she understands that we want to have a relaxing weekend with our young children. This time I played well to my Chinese audience and she was laughing and smiling at the girls by the time she left. But did playing American get us the room for free?
From the comfort of our suite, we enjoyed Shenzhen all the more. The girls enjoyed relaxing walks through Central Park, with its large lawns, groves of banyan trees and pagodas surrounded by flowers. A Metro ride East to Huaqiaocheng metro stop, taking exit A took us directly to China Cultural Folk Village, a theme park putting a variety of ethnic Chinese minorities on display in a tasteful and interesting setting. We had looked forward to a wide variety of food, but were left disappointed as most of the street food matched what is available down the block from us in Shanghai. But the shows displayed dances and brightly colored costumes in short formats which kept the girls interested. The lightly forested grounds around lakes made for a lovely walk, but the small ethnic villages with open homes and community centers were quite interesting as well and so hands on that our toddlers loved it. Probably better viewed later in the day, we found the price a bit high but the time well spent.
A trip to Shenzhen wouldn’t be complete without shopping, and the center of local shopping in Shenzhen in Dong Men Lu. This pedestrian street was packed with people – primarily the same height and with the same hair color. A view over a Chinese crowd is unmistakable. Dong Men Lu has plenty of alleys and shopping malls opening off of it, creating a maze of pedestrian shopping with loads of people and no cars. Pushing strollers through the crowds made the trip all the more interesting, as did watching people interact with the only white children we saw all weekend. We bought a watch for about $30 – we’ll see how long it works. And we ate some of the best Chinese food we’ve had in our time in China so far, a testament both to street food and to Cantonese cooking.
Shenzhen must have been an urban planner’s dream come true. Around 30 years ago, the city had around 30,000 inhabitants and was nothing more than a fishing village. The Chinese government noted its strategic location on the border with Hong Kong, and decided to throw resources into making this an economic hot spot for trade and manufacturing. In only a few short decades the population has shot up to 8 million and the smog factor is one of the highest in the world.
The streets are wide. The sidewalks have no cracks. The metro is stroller friendly. In many ways, getting around Shenzhen was as simple as getting around Singapore - except that very few people spoke English, and Chinese customs certainly prevailed. We were pushed and cut off in every crowd. We saw duck necks, feet and even heads for sale in most snack stalls. And L—and S—received more pinches on the cheek and pats on the head than ever before – something S—reveled in and L—became militantly opposed to.
Our family clashed with Chinese culture most violently at the hotel. The company put us up in a luxury business hotel located in the center of town. Knowing that we would arrive late on Thursday evening, they called ahead to confirm that our Standard Room with a Queen size bed and a baby cot were guaranteed. No problem, we were assured.
We arrived with two sleepy children at about 11:00 at night. Ushered into the quiet expanse of the marble lobby, our expectations were high. The staff were polite, with limited English – the perfect place to test our newly growing Chinese vocabulary. The staff politely explained to us that there were no queen sized rooms available, and would we please settle for two twin beds?
Dave and I hate to hassle people. We go out of our way to make sure people are comfortable. We only registered for affordable items when we were married. We ensure parking spaces outside of our home when we throw parties. We accept other people’s errors and move on. But this was simply unacceptable. Our youngest daughter would sleep in the baby cot they said was waiting in our room, but our older toddler was to sleep in the bed between us. Two twin beds simply would not work.
We politely explained the problem. The man at the counter responded that he was sorry – there was nothing available.
No queen or king sized beds are available in the entire hotel? we countered.
No.
Begrudginly, we accepted. But on the condition that they provide us with free breakfast.
He asked how many people would be eating breakfast, and promptly added the cost to our bill.
Free breakfast, we corrected.
Breakfast costs 45 RMB per adult, he counter-corrected.
This led to a lengthy back and forth about how we feel we deserve breakfast on the house, because of the trouble they’re putting us through. After a few rounds of this, a room with a queen sized bed rather suddenly appeared. We had been upgraded to a Standard Suite – would that do?
Absolutely. That will do fine.
You will simply move to another room in the morning, when we have your standard queen room available.
No. We will not move tomorrow.
You do not want the standard suite?
We will take the suite. Thank you.
We grabbed the keys and ran. Then we walked guardedly the next day, waiting for someone to kick us out of what turned out to be a quite large and well appointed suite. Perfect for our family, it had a bedroom separated from the living room by a hallway, closet and a large bathroom which made for a wonderful sound barrier once the kids fell asleep. A sectional couch coupled with downy spare blankets created a cozy little bed for our toddler, and there was plenty of room for the baby cot they provided. We chose to ignore that it was both broken and easy to climb out of – we had complained enough.
The phone rang during naptime on Friday.
We have you new room prepared. Can you please move now?
No, we will not be moving.
(uncomfortable laughter) When you checked in last night, you were upgraded to a suite because your queen room was unavailable. That room is now available and you need to move. You could just hear the large smile on his face.
No, when we checked in last night we explained that we could not move. We have very young children who are both sleeping right now. It would be quite difficult to move at this point. I’m sure you understand. The words practically dripped out of my mouth, my tone was so sweet.
(more uncomfortable laughter) Yes, of course I understand.
The conversation was over. I thought we had won. Unfortunately, the hotel was more persistent and we would prove ourselves fools against the Chinese cultural norm of saving face. Just as we were finished putting the girls down for a late bedtime, the doorbell rang. A woman with very good English stood outside and explained the situation to me once more. That we had agreed to move today, and that our room was now ready.
I started sweetly. No, we reserved one room with a queen sized bed for the weekend. This is the room you provided. Our children are quite young and need to go to sleep. We will not be moving.
This woman was quite insistent. She bickered, and tried to catch us on our every word. At one point I argued that our company had called in advance to reserve a king sized room.
Your company called to guarantee a king sized room?
Yes, they did.
May I please have a contact at your company?
Why would you need to call someone at our company?
To explain to them that we do not have king sized rooms. We only have queen sized rooms, and we have one available for you at this moment down the hall.
It was silly the points she tried to catch us on. We did not allow her to call our company, and we quickly responded to this type of argument by childishly raising our voices and talking down to her. We berated her with attacks that we had done everything right – making a specific reservation, calling to confirm our specific reservation, guaranteeing that specific reservation with a credit card – and we made it clear that we would nnot be punished for the hotel’s mistake. This is your problem – not ours. I said that specifically, and in a bit of a yell.
In a very Chinese fashion, she maintained her ground quite solidly and very politely. I’m sorry, but you will have to move. You agreed to move last night and your reserved room is now ready.
Dave pulled the trump card – if you force us to change rooms, we will be very angry and insist that my company never send another client here again.
She paused. Then, please give me the phone number of your company. I will explain what happened. I’m sure they will understand.
Dave brought out his grown-up voice. No, we will explain what happened, and I guarantee you that we will not use this hotel again.
Now she needed to speak with her manager. She left.
Dave and I regrouped. I don’t have that kind of power, he said. I should not have yelled at her, I said. I can’t believe we’re so bad at dealing with Chinese people – this is a cultural norm we know about. New plan of attack – when she returns, we apologize for losing our tempers and lay it on thick about how we’re hoping to have a wonderful, relaxing weekend in this nice hotel with our young children who have loads of toys and have just settled in and shouldn’t really have their routines thrown like this, and how I’m sure she understands. I’m all composed and ready to humble myself. The doorbell rings again.
I spoke with the manager. You can stay in the room until you check out on Sunday, with the free upgrade.
Now my humble pie was much more sincere. I thanked her profusely. I apologized quite sincerely for losing my temper. I said that I’m sure she understands that we want to have a relaxing weekend with our young children. This time I played well to my Chinese audience and she was laughing and smiling at the girls by the time she left. But did playing American get us the room for free?
From the comfort of our suite, we enjoyed Shenzhen all the more. The girls enjoyed relaxing walks through Central Park, with its large lawns, groves of banyan trees and pagodas surrounded by flowers. A Metro ride East to Huaqiaocheng metro stop, taking exit A took us directly to China Cultural Folk Village, a theme park putting a variety of ethnic Chinese minorities on display in a tasteful and interesting setting. We had looked forward to a wide variety of food, but were left disappointed as most of the street food matched what is available down the block from us in Shanghai. But the shows displayed dances and brightly colored costumes in short formats which kept the girls interested. The lightly forested grounds around lakes made for a lovely walk, but the small ethnic villages with open homes and community centers were quite interesting as well and so hands on that our toddlers loved it. Probably better viewed later in the day, we found the price a bit high but the time well spent.
A trip to Shenzhen wouldn’t be complete without shopping, and the center of local shopping in Shenzhen in Dong Men Lu. This pedestrian street was packed with people – primarily the same height and with the same hair color. A view over a Chinese crowd is unmistakable. Dong Men Lu has plenty of alleys and shopping malls opening off of it, creating a maze of pedestrian shopping with loads of people and no cars. Pushing strollers through the crowds made the trip all the more interesting, as did watching people interact with the only white children we saw all weekend. We bought a watch for about $30 – we’ll see how long it works. And we ate some of the best Chinese food we’ve had in our time in China so far, a testament both to street food and to Cantonese cooking.
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
Ayi, Day 3 + Chinese lessons
I began twice weekly sessions with a Mandarin tutor last week. Today will be my 4th session. I think he is fantastic. He has ultimate patience with my inability to distinguish the different tones, and my constant mispronunciation of the vowels. He has a wonderful mastery of both English and Mandarin - no doubt he understands English grammar much better than I. He creates flashcards for me, and teaches me words that I find quite useful.
Both my ayi and my driver have figured out that I am taking lessons in their language, and their patience is wonderful. Our driver seems to be a man of few words. Generally, when he speaks, I have no idea what he says. But we have reached a point where he understands anything I say to him. This is not true of our ayi. She seems to be a very smart woman, and often responds to what I say - especially if I say it completely wrong and come out incomprehensible.
A quick lesson for you. Don't go speaking to your Chinese taxi driver off of these notes - I'm leaving off the tones and not explaining the pronunciation, which is rather different from English.
xing qi - the word for "week"
to speak of the days of the week, you add a number to the end of the word week, so
xing qi yi - literally "week one," means Monday
xing qi wu - literally "week five," means Friday
tian - the word for "day"
dian - the word for "o'clock"
bu lai - "do not come"
ni - "you"
What I meant to say was, You do not need to come on Friday - ni xing qi wu bu lai .
What I believe I said was, You five o'clocks do not come - ni bu lai dian wu .
So far having ultimate patience with me and my Mandarin, she quizzically asked me a long question which I did not understand at all. So, thinking my pronunciation must be the problem, I repeated myself.
You five o'clocks do not come - ni bu lai dian wu .
She quizzically asked me a long question which I still did not understand at all. This, in itself, does not bother me. I realize that she does not understand English, and still I speak when I give her instructions or ask for her help. I am sure she does the same. And living with young children, I have passed the need for verbal communication. I can communicate well with S--, who speaks no English and only understands a few basic words. So, communication with our ayi is no more difficult. Her proficiency at charades is much better than S--'s. And she clearly has experience as an ayi, putting herself straight to work with very few suggestions or instructions from me. When I am busy, she disappears. When the girls are playing, she stops to talk to them for a moment and then keeps going. She sometimes teaches them Chinese with their numbers or their animals. We seem to have stumbled upon a real winner with Xiao Wang.
We pulled out a calendar, and I pulled out my flashcards. I was eventually able to communicate to her that she does not need to come on this Friday, but most Fridays she will work for us. When we finished, she complimented my Mandarin.
ni hui shuo hen hao - You speak very well.
bu. wo shuo de bu hao - No, I do not speak well.
A full conversation entirely in Chinese. How far we've come!
Both my ayi and my driver have figured out that I am taking lessons in their language, and their patience is wonderful. Our driver seems to be a man of few words. Generally, when he speaks, I have no idea what he says. But we have reached a point where he understands anything I say to him. This is not true of our ayi. She seems to be a very smart woman, and often responds to what I say - especially if I say it completely wrong and come out incomprehensible.
A quick lesson for you. Don't go speaking to your Chinese taxi driver off of these notes - I'm leaving off the tones and not explaining the pronunciation, which is rather different from English.
xing qi - the word for "week"
to speak of the days of the week, you add a number to the end of the word week, so
xing qi yi - literally "week one," means Monday
xing qi wu - literally "week five," means Friday
tian - the word for "day"
dian - the word for "o'clock"
bu lai - "do not come"
ni - "you"
What I meant to say was, You do not need to come on Friday - ni xing qi wu bu lai .
What I believe I said was, You five o'clocks do not come - ni bu lai dian wu .
So far having ultimate patience with me and my Mandarin, she quizzically asked me a long question which I did not understand at all. So, thinking my pronunciation must be the problem, I repeated myself.
You five o'clocks do not come - ni bu lai dian wu .
She quizzically asked me a long question which I still did not understand at all. This, in itself, does not bother me. I realize that she does not understand English, and still I speak when I give her instructions or ask for her help. I am sure she does the same. And living with young children, I have passed the need for verbal communication. I can communicate well with S--, who speaks no English and only understands a few basic words. So, communication with our ayi is no more difficult. Her proficiency at charades is much better than S--'s. And she clearly has experience as an ayi, putting herself straight to work with very few suggestions or instructions from me. When I am busy, she disappears. When the girls are playing, she stops to talk to them for a moment and then keeps going. She sometimes teaches them Chinese with their numbers or their animals. We seem to have stumbled upon a real winner with Xiao Wang.
We pulled out a calendar, and I pulled out my flashcards. I was eventually able to communicate to her that she does not need to come on this Friday, but most Fridays she will work for us. When we finished, she complimented my Mandarin.
ni hui shuo hen hao - You speak very well.
bu. wo shuo de bu hao - No, I do not speak well.
A full conversation entirely in Chinese. How far we've come!
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
Choosing a School
I had their school picked out already.
Both of my girls would attend a small Montessori school in our neighborhood. A two block walk every morning, and again every day before lunch to a small house with a large yard full of toys. The teacher lives on the next street over, and we already know many of the students and their parents. The youngest child is 2-1/2 and the oldest will start kindergarten in the fall. They practice Montessori as Maria meant it, with play-focused learning and mixed-age classrooms. There is only 1 class, and it is intentially kept small, but still diverse with a good distribution of ages, gender, race and socio-economic class. The teacher focuses on justice, the enviroment and other facets of right living. It is a wonderful school, and I looked forward to being a part of its community.
And then we moved to Shanghai.
In America, children start kindergarten at age 5 or 6. Many children attend day care before that age, and often those day cares provide preschools. In that sense, many children begin preschool quite early in the states. But parents not placing their children in day care have many choices about their child's pre-school activities. Full-day and half-day preschools and pre-kindergartens abound. Most of my stay-at-home mom friends will begin their child in a 2-mornings-per-week program at 3 years old. At 4-years-old they will move their children to 5-mornings-per-week. At 5, most children begin kindergarten. In the St. Louis Public Schools, kindergarten is a full day, 5 days per week. This is the transition I prepared myself for. This is the transition that I think would be perfect for L--, who will be 3 in September.
In Shanghai, many children start some sort of "school" before they turn 2. By 2 years old, most children are attending a bilinguall program 5 mornings per week. So by 3 years old - the landmark we look forward to this fall - these children are thought to be ready to transition into "school" at 5 full days per week, sitting in desks and learning how to read, write and count.
My options are quite limited.
Some schools have a cut-off of August 31st. L-- was born on September 4th. In these schools, L-- is eligible for a 2-year-old class. Already knowing her letters and numbers, ready to interact with other children, this is clearly not acceptable for my daughter.
Some schools expect full days, 5 days per week. For an introverted child who currently spends no more than a few hours per week away from her family, this transition would be too difficult. Beyond which, I see it as entirely unnecessary. In my opinion, children of this age ought to spend a good portion of their day with a primary caregiver who is able to give them focused love and attention.
Many schools hold waiting lists up to 1 year long. To attend the most prestigious schools in Shanghai - preschools included - a parent must enroll their child 1 year in advance.
Most international schools are located in the expatriate neighborhoods. We live in a business communnity, which is quite diverse but primarily Chinese. The expat population is growing, but few older children live here and only a few nursery schools are located nearby.
I did my research, and chose only to visit 3 schools. In January, Daddy joined the girls and I to visit Montessori School of Shanghai. Last week, the girls and I toured Shanghai Community International School. Today, the girls and I attended The Wonder Center.
Montessori School of Shanghai is a beautiful facility. We visited because I love the Montessori program, especially for L--, and they are reported to be the best Montessori school in Shanghai. They have just completed their second location, which we toured in the French Concession. The building was lovely, and we met the new teacher, whose class is currently being enrolled. Teddy was fabulous, and related well to both girls. They serve organic food and have a greenhouse on the roof. The school circles around a large playground with grass - a rarity in Shanghai. Unfortunately, they only allow children aged 3 and older to attend full days. Further, the commute would add an additional 45-60 minutes onto each side of her day, pulling her away from her home for nearly 9 hours every day. Too much. MSOS is out.
Shanghai Community School is a preschool through 12th grade school located in Pudong. It took us 50 minutes to get there, but I am assured that 30 minutes is a more regular commute from our part of town. The entire school only has 500 students, with only 15 students in each classroom plus both a teacher and an aid. The days only run from 8:00 - 11:30, which I see as perfect. But the classroom runs like the rest of the school - the children are scheduled from minute 1 until minute 210 with no "scheduled" free time beyond a 20 minute recess. Acceptable, but hardly perfect. Especially combined with the commute.
But then we found The Wonder Center. And I love it. Dave and I fell in love with The Wonder Center by the website. Our visit this morning confirmed all of my feelings. L-- and S-- and I sat in the car nearly 90 minutes, due in part to our driver's lack of navigation skills. Upon arrival, S-- was fully ready to play. L-- had made herself quite nervous and wanted to go home. She held my hand as we sat in the car, quietly telling me that she didn't want to go to school. She didn't want to play with the other kids. She wanted to play at home today. And I felt so nervous for her. I felt that sick feeling in the pit of my stomach, the same one I always feel before joining a new crowd.
We arrived at the school late, but Mrs. Leary didn't mind a bit. The children were still having free explorations and L-- was invited to come pet the bunny, who was hopping around the floor eating rice. She kept a tight grip on my hand, but led me to the bunny's general area. S--, on the other hand, dove right into this colorful, busy room and had no use for me the entire morning. We joined the class for their circle time, and as they explored different seeds and nuts in their investigation time. Then we all walked together to the playground in the compound, where L-- finally let go of my hand and ran off with the other kids.
Although ready to leave after the playground, she said that she liked school, she liked the teachers, and she'd like to go back.
Mrs. Leary and I talked on the playground. We discussed the dearth of playful preschools in Shanghai, and she noted documented proof that children this age learn best through at least 1 hour per day of free play. We talked about where we live, and how we have no good options close by. Quite simply, she said that we've got to move.
And I think she's right. This school is located in Hongqiao, an expat community on the opposite side of Shanghai. We are renters - there is no reason why we should not move this summer. We could find a place within walking distance of the school, which also puts us within walking distance of a large park and near the grocery store and loads of restaurants and shopping. That gives Dave a 20 minute commute, up to 40 minutes during rush hour. Or we could split the difference, finding a new home near the church from where Dave could still bike to work and L-- could ride 10-20 minutes to and from school. Exploring another part of Shanghai would be exciting, and making friends is so simple. And being in the middle of an expat community would be lovely.
After spending a morning at The Wonder Center, I'm completely sold. We need to enroll L-- and move to Hongqiao.
Both of my girls would attend a small Montessori school in our neighborhood. A two block walk every morning, and again every day before lunch to a small house with a large yard full of toys. The teacher lives on the next street over, and we already know many of the students and their parents. The youngest child is 2-1/2 and the oldest will start kindergarten in the fall. They practice Montessori as Maria meant it, with play-focused learning and mixed-age classrooms. There is only 1 class, and it is intentially kept small, but still diverse with a good distribution of ages, gender, race and socio-economic class. The teacher focuses on justice, the enviroment and other facets of right living. It is a wonderful school, and I looked forward to being a part of its community.
And then we moved to Shanghai.
In America, children start kindergarten at age 5 or 6. Many children attend day care before that age, and often those day cares provide preschools. In that sense, many children begin preschool quite early in the states. But parents not placing their children in day care have many choices about their child's pre-school activities. Full-day and half-day preschools and pre-kindergartens abound. Most of my stay-at-home mom friends will begin their child in a 2-mornings-per-week program at 3 years old. At 4-years-old they will move their children to 5-mornings-per-week. At 5, most children begin kindergarten. In the St. Louis Public Schools, kindergarten is a full day, 5 days per week. This is the transition I prepared myself for. This is the transition that I think would be perfect for L--, who will be 3 in September.
In Shanghai, many children start some sort of "school" before they turn 2. By 2 years old, most children are attending a bilinguall program 5 mornings per week. So by 3 years old - the landmark we look forward to this fall - these children are thought to be ready to transition into "school" at 5 full days per week, sitting in desks and learning how to read, write and count.
My options are quite limited.
Some schools have a cut-off of August 31st. L-- was born on September 4th. In these schools, L-- is eligible for a 2-year-old class. Already knowing her letters and numbers, ready to interact with other children, this is clearly not acceptable for my daughter.
Some schools expect full days, 5 days per week. For an introverted child who currently spends no more than a few hours per week away from her family, this transition would be too difficult. Beyond which, I see it as entirely unnecessary. In my opinion, children of this age ought to spend a good portion of their day with a primary caregiver who is able to give them focused love and attention.
Many schools hold waiting lists up to 1 year long. To attend the most prestigious schools in Shanghai - preschools included - a parent must enroll their child 1 year in advance.
Most international schools are located in the expatriate neighborhoods. We live in a business communnity, which is quite diverse but primarily Chinese. The expat population is growing, but few older children live here and only a few nursery schools are located nearby.
I did my research, and chose only to visit 3 schools. In January, Daddy joined the girls and I to visit Montessori School of Shanghai. Last week, the girls and I toured Shanghai Community International School. Today, the girls and I attended The Wonder Center.
Montessori School of Shanghai is a beautiful facility. We visited because I love the Montessori program, especially for L--, and they are reported to be the best Montessori school in Shanghai. They have just completed their second location, which we toured in the French Concession. The building was lovely, and we met the new teacher, whose class is currently being enrolled. Teddy was fabulous, and related well to both girls. They serve organic food and have a greenhouse on the roof. The school circles around a large playground with grass - a rarity in Shanghai. Unfortunately, they only allow children aged 3 and older to attend full days. Further, the commute would add an additional 45-60 minutes onto each side of her day, pulling her away from her home for nearly 9 hours every day. Too much. MSOS is out.
Shanghai Community School is a preschool through 12th grade school located in Pudong. It took us 50 minutes to get there, but I am assured that 30 minutes is a more regular commute from our part of town. The entire school only has 500 students, with only 15 students in each classroom plus both a teacher and an aid. The days only run from 8:00 - 11:30, which I see as perfect. But the classroom runs like the rest of the school - the children are scheduled from minute 1 until minute 210 with no "scheduled" free time beyond a 20 minute recess. Acceptable, but hardly perfect. Especially combined with the commute.
But then we found The Wonder Center. And I love it. Dave and I fell in love with The Wonder Center by the website. Our visit this morning confirmed all of my feelings. L-- and S-- and I sat in the car nearly 90 minutes, due in part to our driver's lack of navigation skills. Upon arrival, S-- was fully ready to play. L-- had made herself quite nervous and wanted to go home. She held my hand as we sat in the car, quietly telling me that she didn't want to go to school. She didn't want to play with the other kids. She wanted to play at home today. And I felt so nervous for her. I felt that sick feeling in the pit of my stomach, the same one I always feel before joining a new crowd.
We arrived at the school late, but Mrs. Leary didn't mind a bit. The children were still having free explorations and L-- was invited to come pet the bunny, who was hopping around the floor eating rice. She kept a tight grip on my hand, but led me to the bunny's general area. S--, on the other hand, dove right into this colorful, busy room and had no use for me the entire morning. We joined the class for their circle time, and as they explored different seeds and nuts in their investigation time. Then we all walked together to the playground in the compound, where L-- finally let go of my hand and ran off with the other kids.
Although ready to leave after the playground, she said that she liked school, she liked the teachers, and she'd like to go back.
Mrs. Leary and I talked on the playground. We discussed the dearth of playful preschools in Shanghai, and she noted documented proof that children this age learn best through at least 1 hour per day of free play. We talked about where we live, and how we have no good options close by. Quite simply, she said that we've got to move.
And I think she's right. This school is located in Hongqiao, an expat community on the opposite side of Shanghai. We are renters - there is no reason why we should not move this summer. We could find a place within walking distance of the school, which also puts us within walking distance of a large park and near the grocery store and loads of restaurants and shopping. That gives Dave a 20 minute commute, up to 40 minutes during rush hour. Or we could split the difference, finding a new home near the church from where Dave could still bike to work and L-- could ride 10-20 minutes to and from school. Exploring another part of Shanghai would be exciting, and making friends is so simple. And being in the middle of an expat community would be lovely.
After spending a morning at The Wonder Center, I'm completely sold. We need to enroll L-- and move to Hongqiao.
Monday, March 10, 2008
Ayi, Day 1
My desk faces a wall of windows which open onto our balcony. Directions in Shanghai confuse me a bit, but at about 4:00 this afternoon our balcony was flooded with setting sunlight. We must face west, possibly northwest. I watched out the window as L-- sat on the balcony enjoying the nearly spring weather. She and her sister both have brightly colored chairs which are only allowed on the balcony, and the frequent use of these chairs is the highlight of warm weather for each of them. So, this afternoon found L-- sitting on her chair bathed in golden light. She held a pen and a pad of paper, apparently taking notes.
Xiao Wang, our new ayi, cleaned around her. She speaks no English.
L-- told Xiao Wang about the picture she was drawing, and asked her a question. No doubt Xiao Wang understood nothing of L--'s words. But she not only acknowledged the question; she sat down on S--'s chair and held a discussion with L--. She wrote some characters for her and the two of them discussed, in two separate languages. They both seemed quite interested in the conversation. It was a wonderful sight. After a few minutes, she got up and went back to work, after having taken the time to focus wholly on my child.
So far, I like her. It takes time to train any ayi on how you run your house - where you allow your children to snack, which clothes belong to whom, how to run the dryer, and so forth. But watching her and L-- relate on the patio, I felt that Xiao Wang has definite potential to be a wonderful new member of our household.
And, I can't complain about the lack of dust throughout my home this evening.
Because you were thinking it, I'll have you know that I just finished scrubbing the floor under our dining room table. On my hands and knees, I applied strenous elbow grease to the pizza sauce plastered to the floor. I'm not too good for it... yet ;)
Xiao Wang, our new ayi, cleaned around her. She speaks no English.
L-- told Xiao Wang about the picture she was drawing, and asked her a question. No doubt Xiao Wang understood nothing of L--'s words. But she not only acknowledged the question; she sat down on S--'s chair and held a discussion with L--. She wrote some characters for her and the two of them discussed, in two separate languages. They both seemed quite interested in the conversation. It was a wonderful sight. After a few minutes, she got up and went back to work, after having taken the time to focus wholly on my child.
So far, I like her. It takes time to train any ayi on how you run your house - where you allow your children to snack, which clothes belong to whom, how to run the dryer, and so forth. But watching her and L-- relate on the patio, I felt that Xiao Wang has definite potential to be a wonderful new member of our household.
And, I can't complain about the lack of dust throughout my home this evening.
Because you were thinking it, I'll have you know that I just finished scrubbing the floor under our dining room table. On my hands and knees, I applied strenous elbow grease to the pizza sauce plastered to the floor. I'm not too good for it... yet ;)
Serious Progress
Apparently, all we needed was a minor emergency to get everything accomplished. The wet plaster has been scraped away, replaced and repainted. We can still see the spots, but not enough to care. We're only renters, right? The floor was scrubbed after all of the dust and drops of paint, although piles of plaster dust remain under furniture and in nooks and crannies throughout, along with a lingering smell. Lucky for us, the weather has jumped into the 60s and we can leave the doors and windows open.
Furthermore, the faucet has been replaced and the cabinets repaired.
I've no more complaints.
And, best of all, our ayi started today.
At exactly the price I sought, we have a lovely woman coming into our home 4 hours every afternoon. She also agreed to babysit one evening every week, bringing her weekly total to 25 hours. She's coming from 2:30 - 6:30 in the afternoons, time enough to clean for a while and then to play with the girls while I fix dinner.
Two hours in, and she seems lovely. More focused on cleaning then on playing with L--, but quite comfortable relating to her casually. She's quite good at finding things to do, and at working together with me or asking questions. She speaks no English and my Chinese is still horrible, but I think we'll get past that.
With all of my repairs completed, and a staff of two, I seem to be making some serious in-roads into a happy life as an expat in China.
Furthermore, the faucet has been replaced and the cabinets repaired.
I've no more complaints.
And, best of all, our ayi started today.
At exactly the price I sought, we have a lovely woman coming into our home 4 hours every afternoon. She also agreed to babysit one evening every week, bringing her weekly total to 25 hours. She's coming from 2:30 - 6:30 in the afternoons, time enough to clean for a while and then to play with the girls while I fix dinner.
Two hours in, and she seems lovely. More focused on cleaning then on playing with L--, but quite comfortable relating to her casually. She's quite good at finding things to do, and at working together with me or asking questions. She speaks no English and my Chinese is still horrible, but I think we'll get past that.
With all of my repairs completed, and a staff of two, I seem to be making some serious in-roads into a happy life as an expat in China.
Thursday, March 06, 2008
Emergency Management, still
It seems that all I needed was an emergency to spur all of the necessary repairs in my apartment. The worker came this afternoon to skim the plaster on the ceiling, and repaired all of the pre-existing cracks. He will return Saturday afternoon to sand and paint. An ayi will follow him, to clean the entire apartment. Tomorrow, I've been promised a new kitchen faucet and repaired kitchen cabinets, plus a stash of lightbulbs.
These details may be more than you need.
Suffice it to say that all of my complaints - and they've been steadily piling up since the beginning of December - ought to be repaired in full by Saturday afternoon.
These details may be more than you need.
Suffice it to say that all of my complaints - and they've been steadily piling up since the beginning of December - ought to be repaired in full by Saturday afternoon.
Wednesday, March 05, 2008
The Ayi Search Begins Anew
The temperature topped 60 degrees in Shanghai today. On our way home from music class, we couldn't help but walk slowly and enjoy the sunshinee, the breezes and playing in the grass. A 3 year old boy was climbing trees, and L-- made friends with him. They climbed trees together, he showed her how to ride his bike, and they ran in and out of my line of vision. Watching her actively interact with a child close to her age was wonderful, and convinced me that she needs more interaction with older toddlers.
At one point, the two children found a large crack in the sidewalk which had created a small rock. This rock was shaped like a triangle, going to a neat point where it had fallen away from the sidewalk. After playing with this puzzle piece for a while, she lost interest and ran off.
Unfortunately, enough interest remained that she kept the sharp piece of concrete held firmly in her soft little hand. And then she fell. As you can imagine, her rock slit her finger open. The gash was a good one, but not deep. I gathered up my shaking, sobbing baby and headed for the bathroom in the clubhouse. But S-- had no interest in leaving. What is a mother to do?
The little boy's ayi stepped in immediately. She helped me herd S-- toward the bathroom. She helped guide our stroller toward the bathroom as well. She kept S-- entertained while I washed the dirt out of L--'s fresh cut. And the little boy offered many words of comfort to L--, as well as frequent requests to see her blood.
This ayi was fantastic. She helped me tremendously, while still keeping her charges under control. When she recommended an ayi friend of hers to me, I jumped on the suggestion.
Chen, her friend, arrived at our home for an interview at 7:00 this evening. The girls were finishing their dinner, so Chen sat at the table with us and we chatted over a box of delivery pizza. She has years of experience with Western families and with children. She has an 8 year old daughter of her own, and lives west of here. She cooks Italian and Chinese food - no complaints by us! But she is paid more than I am willing to match, and she currently leaves work 2 hours before I want an ayi to leave. Her English was fantastic, including her pinyin. She related quite well to both of the girls. And I really like her.
We made an offer to her. She will discuss with her husband and let me know.
Prayer Request: that God will deliver the perfect ayi to us, at the perfect time.
At one point, the two children found a large crack in the sidewalk which had created a small rock. This rock was shaped like a triangle, going to a neat point where it had fallen away from the sidewalk. After playing with this puzzle piece for a while, she lost interest and ran off.
Unfortunately, enough interest remained that she kept the sharp piece of concrete held firmly in her soft little hand. And then she fell. As you can imagine, her rock slit her finger open. The gash was a good one, but not deep. I gathered up my shaking, sobbing baby and headed for the bathroom in the clubhouse. But S-- had no interest in leaving. What is a mother to do?
The little boy's ayi stepped in immediately. She helped me herd S-- toward the bathroom. She helped guide our stroller toward the bathroom as well. She kept S-- entertained while I washed the dirt out of L--'s fresh cut. And the little boy offered many words of comfort to L--, as well as frequent requests to see her blood.
This ayi was fantastic. She helped me tremendously, while still keeping her charges under control. When she recommended an ayi friend of hers to me, I jumped on the suggestion.
Chen, her friend, arrived at our home for an interview at 7:00 this evening. The girls were finishing their dinner, so Chen sat at the table with us and we chatted over a box of delivery pizza. She has years of experience with Western families and with children. She has an 8 year old daughter of her own, and lives west of here. She cooks Italian and Chinese food - no complaints by us! But she is paid more than I am willing to match, and she currently leaves work 2 hours before I want an ayi to leave. Her English was fantastic, including her pinyin. She related quite well to both of the girls. And I really like her.
We made an offer to her. She will discuss with her husband and let me know.
Prayer Request: that God will deliver the perfect ayi to us, at the perfect time.
Tuesday, March 04, 2008
Learning the Language
I had my first lesson with my Mandarin tutor this afternoon. Kevin came with the knowledge that I had studied under another teacher for 2 months, and had forgotten most of what I learned due to lack of practice. He quickly learned that I had not, in fact, had a language teacher in my class. Rather, I had a woman who spoke English and wanted friends. Kevin planned to start his lessons at the end of my class book, but quickly rewound to his first classes.
Today we studied initials, finals and tones today.
All Chinese words correlate to a character.
All characters are pronounced in 1 syllable.
Each character begins with an initial - one of a short list of constants, or the consonant combinations sh, zh and ch.
Each character ends with a final - one of a finite list of vowels, vowels with endings, or combinations of the two.
Certain finals never match with certain initials. Although this initially seems confusing, I believe it will make learning simpler. Some of the initials sound identical to me, but each of these can only be matched with certain finals so my confusing placed in context ought to disappear.
Conjugation does not exist, because every word is a character. You can not add an s to a character. Just putting a number before it is sufficient enough to signify plurality.
I had already begun to learn that Chinese is a written language before it is a spoken language. Kevin confirmed this for me. Although Chinese developed originally as any language does, out of a need for spoken communication, it developed in a different fashion from English, and other Western languages. As Kevin explained it, in English our words became longer as we developed the need to expand our vocabulary. In Chinese, custom capped syllables at 3 and the language gained 4 tones to expand the vocabulary.
So, one Chinese word written in Roman letters (known as pinyin) can represent at least 4 different characters, and therefore 4 different meanings. The 1st tone is pronounced as a high, steady level, almost like singing. The 2nd tone rises, and sounds like a question. The 3rd tone falls and rises again, with the emphasis on the falling. The 4th tone drops quickly, like in a note of exasperation.
As Kevin explained it, this makes the Chinese language much more stable than English. Because language is based on unchanging characters, rather than on phonetic spellings of words, the language remains the same over centuries. Apparently, he can look at a text written hundreds of years ago and read it without missing any content. There is no 1,000 year old text I can read and fully comprehend, so he has a point. A rather ethnocentric point, but a point nonetheless. Chinese has many different dialects throughout this large nation, each so different that a person from Hong Kong probably can not understand a person from Shanghai. But each relies upon the same characters and can reap the same context from the same piece of written text, although reading it aloud may sound quite different.
After my lesson, I was able to tell our driver not to come tomorrow. I did have to write down what time to come on Thursday, but I'm at least proud of the one accomplishment. Baby steps, baby steps.
Today we studied initials, finals and tones today.
All Chinese words correlate to a character.
All characters are pronounced in 1 syllable.
Each character begins with an initial - one of a short list of constants, or the consonant combinations sh, zh and ch.
Each character ends with a final - one of a finite list of vowels, vowels with endings, or combinations of the two.
Certain finals never match with certain initials. Although this initially seems confusing, I believe it will make learning simpler. Some of the initials sound identical to me, but each of these can only be matched with certain finals so my confusing placed in context ought to disappear.
Conjugation does not exist, because every word is a character. You can not add an s to a character. Just putting a number before it is sufficient enough to signify plurality.
I had already begun to learn that Chinese is a written language before it is a spoken language. Kevin confirmed this for me. Although Chinese developed originally as any language does, out of a need for spoken communication, it developed in a different fashion from English, and other Western languages. As Kevin explained it, in English our words became longer as we developed the need to expand our vocabulary. In Chinese, custom capped syllables at 3 and the language gained 4 tones to expand the vocabulary.
So, one Chinese word written in Roman letters (known as pinyin) can represent at least 4 different characters, and therefore 4 different meanings. The 1st tone is pronounced as a high, steady level, almost like singing. The 2nd tone rises, and sounds like a question. The 3rd tone falls and rises again, with the emphasis on the falling. The 4th tone drops quickly, like in a note of exasperation.
As Kevin explained it, this makes the Chinese language much more stable than English. Because language is based on unchanging characters, rather than on phonetic spellings of words, the language remains the same over centuries. Apparently, he can look at a text written hundreds of years ago and read it without missing any content. There is no 1,000 year old text I can read and fully comprehend, so he has a point. A rather ethnocentric point, but a point nonetheless. Chinese has many different dialects throughout this large nation, each so different that a person from Hong Kong probably can not understand a person from Shanghai. But each relies upon the same characters and can reap the same context from the same piece of written text, although reading it aloud may sound quite different.
After my lesson, I was able to tell our driver not to come tomorrow. I did have to write down what time to come on Thursday, but I'm at least proud of the one accomplishment. Baby steps, baby steps.
Monday, March 03, 2008
Progress
A worker arrived this morning around 10:00. He carried a dingy ladder, and a few buckets full of powders and brushes. He spoke no English.
Clearly, his intention was to get right to work. After speaking words to me that I did not comprehend, he set the ladder up in the middle of the living room and began scraping at the ceiling. My frantic calls as I raced toward him seemed to catch him by surprise. He had not moved any of the living room furniture, toys were still strewn about the floor, and he was making no effort not to drop bits of plaster all over the apartment.
Another man in a suit arrived as he and I spoke at each other in different languages. The man in the suit spoke some English, and explained that the worker simply planned to paint the ceiling. All of his tools were clean, and there should be no problem.
I made my disagreement well known. Discussions with people who speak poor English often compare to talking with a 2-year-old. There is a lot of repeating yourself, and asking questions again and again. No doubt, they would say the same about me.
Repeatedly, I told him...
that the furniture needed to be both moved and covered.
Repeatedly, he replied...
that the worker was quite clean, as was the paint.
Repeatedly, I told him...
that the water damaged ceiling must be removed before he painted.
Eventually, he spoke to the worker. Apparently the worker and I were in agreement on this fact.
So we were back to the issue of cleanliness. As the two men stood discussing some facet of my request in Chinese, I - with a crying child in my arm - began to move the furniture out of the room. The men politely allowed me to move all of my own furniture by myself. The couches out of the way, I asked the men to move the table which serves as both toy box and entertainment center. Atop this table is our television, DVD player and stereo system.
The men balked at my suggestion. Repeatedly, they told me that the table was surely too heavy to move.
I replied that it was clearly not too heavy. I had moved it myself earlier that morning.
They took another approach, suddenly having access to drop cloths.
Both of the men disappeared, the worker reappearing later with a pile of folded cloth and styrafoam. He first laid the cloths over the television. Clearly, these cloths had originally been used as tablecloths. Lace tablecloths. That's right - the complex's only drop cloths are full of holes.
I balked.
They covered the lace dropcloths with styrafoam strips, and I gave in.
The girls and I shut ourselves into their room for the next 3 hours, with a break for macaroni and cheese eaten off of the kitchen floor.
The worker scraped away all of the water damage from the ceiling. The floors and furniture were covered with scraps of plaster, which he removed fairly comprehensively. As he left, I noticed a fine layer of dust covering every surface including the floor. I spent the first half hour of naptime scrubbing the floor, and now sit in the middle of my otherwise empty living room. But at least I sit on a very clean floor.
I am told that the plaster man will return to reskim on Thursday. I have not cancelled my playgroup for Friday - I can not bear to. Woody has also promised me to finish all of the other work I have requested for months during this time of renovation. We shall see.
Clearly, his intention was to get right to work. After speaking words to me that I did not comprehend, he set the ladder up in the middle of the living room and began scraping at the ceiling. My frantic calls as I raced toward him seemed to catch him by surprise. He had not moved any of the living room furniture, toys were still strewn about the floor, and he was making no effort not to drop bits of plaster all over the apartment.
Another man in a suit arrived as he and I spoke at each other in different languages. The man in the suit spoke some English, and explained that the worker simply planned to paint the ceiling. All of his tools were clean, and there should be no problem.
I made my disagreement well known. Discussions with people who speak poor English often compare to talking with a 2-year-old. There is a lot of repeating yourself, and asking questions again and again. No doubt, they would say the same about me.
Repeatedly, I told him...
that the furniture needed to be both moved and covered.
Repeatedly, he replied...
that the worker was quite clean, as was the paint.
Repeatedly, I told him...
that the water damaged ceiling must be removed before he painted.
Eventually, he spoke to the worker. Apparently the worker and I were in agreement on this fact.
So we were back to the issue of cleanliness. As the two men stood discussing some facet of my request in Chinese, I - with a crying child in my arm - began to move the furniture out of the room. The men politely allowed me to move all of my own furniture by myself. The couches out of the way, I asked the men to move the table which serves as both toy box and entertainment center. Atop this table is our television, DVD player and stereo system.
The men balked at my suggestion. Repeatedly, they told me that the table was surely too heavy to move.
I replied that it was clearly not too heavy. I had moved it myself earlier that morning.
They took another approach, suddenly having access to drop cloths.
Both of the men disappeared, the worker reappearing later with a pile of folded cloth and styrafoam. He first laid the cloths over the television. Clearly, these cloths had originally been used as tablecloths. Lace tablecloths. That's right - the complex's only drop cloths are full of holes.
I balked.
They covered the lace dropcloths with styrafoam strips, and I gave in.
The girls and I shut ourselves into their room for the next 3 hours, with a break for macaroni and cheese eaten off of the kitchen floor.
The worker scraped away all of the water damage from the ceiling. The floors and furniture were covered with scraps of plaster, which he removed fairly comprehensively. As he left, I noticed a fine layer of dust covering every surface including the floor. I spent the first half hour of naptime scrubbing the floor, and now sit in the middle of my otherwise empty living room. But at least I sit on a very clean floor.
I am told that the plaster man will return to reskim on Thursday. I have not cancelled my playgroup for Friday - I can not bear to. Woody has also promised me to finish all of the other work I have requested for months during this time of renovation. We shall see.
Sunday, March 02, 2008
Emergency Management, part 3
12:30 pm
A worker arrived at our door.
He removed the light in the middle of the kitchen ceiling.
He crawled up halfway into the ceiling. He took a rag and a bucket as tools on his journey.
He returned with a full bucket and a filthy rag.
He wiped down the floors in the kitchen and the living room.
He advised that I remove my wet towels, which had left a few stripes on the floor.
He wiped off the remaining drips from the living room ceiling.
He went to reinstall the light in the kitchen, and I asked him to leave it down. The more air flow in that space, the better, I figure.
He worried. He worried that I would bump my head. He worried for our safety. I told him I think it will be okay. Hao de, hao de.
He has left. And surprisingly, I do feel a bit better.
Saturday, March 01, 2008
Emergency Management, part 2
After making a few phone calls, our manager arrived at around 11:30. His name is Woody. Contrary to what I had been told, Woody knew nothing about the situation. He arrived very quickly and was rather helpful.
Woody called the complex's work men, who arrived in an astounding 3 minutes. They had clearly been working on the situation in the apartment upstairs. Here is the plan, as they explained it to me, through Woody.
There is a lot of water still in the ceiling. Its sitting on the drop ceiling in the kitchen. Its soaked into the wooden beams. Its a real mess. So, best just to leave it alone and let it dry. We'll take another look in a few days. Should solve the problem.
Through all of my protests, and all of what I believe were Woody's protests, they did not waver from their plan. I said we need fans - they said they have no fans. They suggested turning on the heater full blast until everything dries. I said they need to remove the water damaged portions of the ceiling to allow air circulation and speed the drying process. I believe they laughed at that suggestion. There was certainly smirking. I said I was worried about both mold and electrocution. They said, don't worry.
They left.
I told Woody what I know to be the solution. The wet ceiling needs to be removed. Fans ought to be pointed at the new holes in the ceiling, but that will clearly not happen. The holes in the ceiling will at least stimulate more air movement. As soon as the space between the ceiling and the floor is sufficiently dry, the ceiling needs to be replaced. If they remove the ceiling this afternoon, then the girls and I can live without any problem in the space until they work to replace it. As is, we must keep buckets and towels on the floor and toys must remain hidden away in a living room arranged chaotically around drips and new ceiling cracks.
Woody has promised to fix the problems as soon as he can reach someone. He is aiming for today. But the Chinese have a cultural tendency to tell you what you want to hear. I have no idea if there is any truth behind his words.
Our agent has assured me that if this isn't fixed quickly, it is worth breaking the lease. At least we do have recourse, and a strong threat. But after wanting to move for months, I may have convinced myself that we have a good home in this area of Shanghai. I don't really want to move.
Woody called the complex's work men, who arrived in an astounding 3 minutes. They had clearly been working on the situation in the apartment upstairs. Here is the plan, as they explained it to me, through Woody.
There is a lot of water still in the ceiling. Its sitting on the drop ceiling in the kitchen. Its soaked into the wooden beams. Its a real mess. So, best just to leave it alone and let it dry. We'll take another look in a few days. Should solve the problem.
Through all of my protests, and all of what I believe were Woody's protests, they did not waver from their plan. I said we need fans - they said they have no fans. They suggested turning on the heater full blast until everything dries. I said they need to remove the water damaged portions of the ceiling to allow air circulation and speed the drying process. I believe they laughed at that suggestion. There was certainly smirking. I said I was worried about both mold and electrocution. They said, don't worry.
They left.
I told Woody what I know to be the solution. The wet ceiling needs to be removed. Fans ought to be pointed at the new holes in the ceiling, but that will clearly not happen. The holes in the ceiling will at least stimulate more air movement. As soon as the space between the ceiling and the floor is sufficiently dry, the ceiling needs to be replaced. If they remove the ceiling this afternoon, then the girls and I can live without any problem in the space until they work to replace it. As is, we must keep buckets and towels on the floor and toys must remain hidden away in a living room arranged chaotically around drips and new ceiling cracks.
Woody has promised to fix the problems as soon as he can reach someone. He is aiming for today. But the Chinese have a cultural tendency to tell you what you want to hear. I have no idea if there is any truth behind his words.
Our agent has assured me that if this isn't fixed quickly, it is worth breaking the lease. At least we do have recourse, and a strong threat. But after wanting to move for months, I may have convinced myself that we have a good home in this area of Shanghai. I don't really want to move.
Emergency Management
Our apartment flooded yesterday.
To be more precise, our upstairs neighbor's apartment flooded yesterday. A pipe burst in their apartment, and flooded their Living Room and Kitchen so heavily that water beaded on our ceiling in both rooms and dripped quite steadily onto our floor, furniture, rug and any other belongings which may have been in the way.
Dave and I have endured flooding before. In September of 2001, I returned from being grounded in Connecticut for a week due to September 11th to water pouring in through an upstairs window causing the kitchen ceilig to collapse and water to pool in the basement to a tune of 3 inches.
Protocol for flooding
1: Stop the water at the source.
2: Remove all water.
3: Call your home insurance company.
4: Thoroughly dry any wet or damp surface.
Our family enjoyed a lovely Saturday evening of dinner and shopping at IKEA. We rode back relaxedly with our new driver. We walked in just past bedtime with two very sleepy girls. Thoroughly prepared to do a quick clothes-to-jammies switch and throw them in bed, all four of us were shocked to find a wet couch in the living room and a pool in the kitchen.
We called our emergency number and explained the problem. Within half an hour a man in a suit had arrived with his camera. He spoke English rather well, but had no intention of cleaning or drying any mess. A workman followed after about 15 minutes. He stood on a ladder. Then the two of them went to the upstairs apartment to investigate.
After over 30 minutes, they returned. They explained about the pipe. They explained that they had shut off the water. They said they would call our landlord in the morning. And they were ready to wash their hands of us.
Meanwhile, water was still steadily dripping in about 15 spots through our home. We are renters living a rather temporary existance. We only have 1 bucket, and our towels are limited to the number we need to keep ourselves clean. All of our resources were soaked, meaning that the wood floor beneath them was receiving an even dose of water as well. Our little man in a suit had no suggestions. He apparently had no access to towels or tarps. He did manage to find 3 buckets.
It is now 10:52 am. That is 14 hours after we discovered the problem. The ceiling drops water rarely now. Our every towel and wash cloth lies soaked on the floor. I have heard nothing from management or our landlord.
We look forward to a long process culminating in the removal of the drywall ceiling in the living room and the drop ceiling in the kitchen. We anticipate fighting for the removal of growing mold and deciding to live with water spots on the floor. We plan to fight tooth and nail for the full replacement of every one of our items which are water damaged, including a pricey new rug.
As they say, TIC. This Is China.
To be more precise, our upstairs neighbor's apartment flooded yesterday. A pipe burst in their apartment, and flooded their Living Room and Kitchen so heavily that water beaded on our ceiling in both rooms and dripped quite steadily onto our floor, furniture, rug and any other belongings which may have been in the way.
Dave and I have endured flooding before. In September of 2001, I returned from being grounded in Connecticut for a week due to September 11th to water pouring in through an upstairs window causing the kitchen ceilig to collapse and water to pool in the basement to a tune of 3 inches.
Protocol for flooding
1: Stop the water at the source.
2: Remove all water.
3: Call your home insurance company.
4: Thoroughly dry any wet or damp surface.
Our family enjoyed a lovely Saturday evening of dinner and shopping at IKEA. We rode back relaxedly with our new driver. We walked in just past bedtime with two very sleepy girls. Thoroughly prepared to do a quick clothes-to-jammies switch and throw them in bed, all four of us were shocked to find a wet couch in the living room and a pool in the kitchen.
We called our emergency number and explained the problem. Within half an hour a man in a suit had arrived with his camera. He spoke English rather well, but had no intention of cleaning or drying any mess. A workman followed after about 15 minutes. He stood on a ladder. Then the two of them went to the upstairs apartment to investigate.
After over 30 minutes, they returned. They explained about the pipe. They explained that they had shut off the water. They said they would call our landlord in the morning. And they were ready to wash their hands of us.
Meanwhile, water was still steadily dripping in about 15 spots through our home. We are renters living a rather temporary existance. We only have 1 bucket, and our towels are limited to the number we need to keep ourselves clean. All of our resources were soaked, meaning that the wood floor beneath them was receiving an even dose of water as well. Our little man in a suit had no suggestions. He apparently had no access to towels or tarps. He did manage to find 3 buckets.
It is now 10:52 am. That is 14 hours after we discovered the problem. The ceiling drops water rarely now. Our every towel and wash cloth lies soaked on the floor. I have heard nothing from management or our landlord.
We look forward to a long process culminating in the removal of the drywall ceiling in the living room and the drop ceiling in the kitchen. We anticipate fighting for the removal of growing mold and deciding to live with water spots on the floor. We plan to fight tooth and nail for the full replacement of every one of our items which are water damaged, including a pricey new rug.
As they say, TIC. This Is China.
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