It Is Well

This move has kept my emotions on high, and even though things keep moving fairly smoothly, I sometimes need to cry.  I'm not typically a crier, but something in the air has been sending my emotions straight to my face lately.

It didn't bother me when the power went out last night and it didn't bother me that the air conditioning went out at the same time.  It didn't bother me to wake the kids up for school this morning or to drive away from home with them.  Their smiles and levels of excitement were contagious.  It didn't bother me to enter the school or to walk my 1st grader to her classroom.  It didn't bother me when she entered with confidence or when she crumpled because the other kids were  playing Legos and she didn't want to play Legos.  It didn't bother me when she left the classroom with her sister and I, or when she turned on her heels and walked back in alone and confident a few minutes later.  My fourth grader walked me to her room and we felt good talking to her teacher, finding her cubby, and picking up her first project.  It didn't bother me to kiss her good-bye or to walk away.  But when I turned around and saw her take her seat and wipe a quick tear from her eye, well, that's been bothering me all day.

I may have spent a minute crying in the bathroom, and may have walked into the parent coffee showing clear evidence of tears on my face.  I may have stood on the edge of the crowd searching the group for a familiar face for longer than felt comfortable. 

Luckily, another fourth grade mom recognized me and we chatted until we finished our masala tea.  Luckily, Dave called when I got in the car.  He had walked to school with our new middle schooler and her old friend from Virginia.  He watched her react to the mixed blessing of having an old friend at her new school, as she watched her old friend greet the many school friends she missed over the summer.

Each of our girls had a quick stumble this morning, and no doubt each of them recovered fully and quickly.  But those stumbles have followed me all day as I worry for them because being new is hard and this is why moving never seems to get easier - because just as I begin to learn my process, my children have to independently begin to learn theirs.

Between the power outage and the broken a/c and the dry cleaner who disconnected his phone and the painter and the cable guy and the internet folks, I've been blessedly distracted today.  I only just sat down to make sure the school had up to date information for us.  I logged in to the website and saw pictures of each of my girls smiling back to me.  Next to each photo, it said Current Location and with a click, I could see what class she is currently in.  A wave of peace flooded over me.  Each girl is exactly where she should be.

One of those new songs we sang in church last week is a riff on the hymn It Is Well with My Soul and I've been listening to it because it is both lovely and on point.  India is tremendously developed in some ways and amazingly difficult in others and I still can't figure out the simplest things, but it will all come.  Maybe its God speaking through the music, or maybe its just that cup of Kaldi's coffee, but I'm at peace now.  We are in the place we have prayed for and meeting the people we have prayed to meet. 

We are at home.  And it is well.