This is why teens have babies.
Well, either this or sexually active pro-life teens.
I remember hearing the stories about teen girls trying to get pregnant. Apparently, gals with histories of abuse or neglect often craze the unreserved love sent to a mother from her baby. As a teen, I was smart enough to know this craving was poppycock. Babies may love you unabashedly, but they can also be awfully nasty. They're pull your hair, pinch your neck, and bite your nipples.
But toddlers - now those kids are fun. Or at least, my toddlers are fun. They're little explorers, intent on showing me everything they find fascinating. They're little chatterboxes, convinced that I should hear and respond to everything they say. They're adorable little balls of snuggles, often content just to curl up on my lap or climb into my arms. Just being close to me can make them feel better. The power I have to make them feel better can be intoxicating, and just makes me drown in my love for them.
Today was L--'s 3rd day of school. On the way, she told me that she'd like me to stay with her at school. She had no problem with going. She just wanted my company. Two days away from Mommy is long enough, she seemed to be saying. I agreed wholeheartedly. And had it been any other day, I may have stayed to play for a while. The first hour of school is freeplay time, and parents and younger siblings are welcome to stay, if they so desire. But on this particular morning, I had plans. I had to meet the movers at our old home, an hour away. I had to be there in an hour. No time for play - there was work to be done!
I stayed longer than I should have, and handed her off to a teacher. I stepped out the door without looking back. I ran straight to the car, parked just a few steps away. I sunk into the back seat, pulled my hat over my eyes, and let myself cry.
Luckily, this was the most dramatic part of either of our days. Apparently, L-- calmed down immediately with Mrs. Snyder, who read some stories to her and helped her become comfortable again. I reached the apartment only 10 minutes after the movers arrived. They entered the apartment at 10:30, and had everything packed and into the van by 1:00pm. Certainly they moved faster than I would have! An hour for lunch, a drive across town, and still they were on their way home by 4:15. They even managed to move the girls' furniture into their bedroom without waking S-- from her nap -- in the same room!
Overall, the day counts as a success... capped off by internet access installed in our apartment. No more distractions from a Chinese Schwarzenager.
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Settling In
My head is in a million places, making me wonder how I thoughtfully composed blog postings when we moved to China last September. I'm doing well just to find a moment and put a quick journal posting of our day.
Today was L--'s second day of school, and this little girl is really a star. I feel blessedly confident that the timing in starting school is perfect. She happily allowed me to leave after a quick 5 minutes this morning, and didn't want to go when I picked her up this afternoon. Her teacher sent pictures of her climbing a tree, and examining a bull frog with a magnifying glass. Makes me jealous!
S-- is settling into a quiet enjoyment of her time without big sister. Today she had the complete attention of both Nana and myself, making for a particularly pleasant morning. She asks after her sister every so often, but finds school a satisfactory location for her absent sister.
I'm settling in to the new place as well. The apartment is quite spacious, and really quite nice. The complex is rather dreary, but the girls enjoy the fountains and goldfish in the middle and the playgrounds keep them happy for hours. Our first visit to the playground, and not one Western face. Not one word of English met my ears. My heart fell. But upon checking email this evening, I now have connections inside the complex to people with 2 year olds. Between school, our friends back in Pudong, and these new friends in the complex, S-- and I should keep plenty busy. Plus, we now truly live in China. This is no expat enclave, hiding away from the fact that we live in China. This is a complex primarily of upper class Chinese, in a very Chinese neighborhood. They're selling interesting food on the street, and we pass small alleys full of life on our way to school every morning. There's a small park across the street, which fills with tai chi practitioners and old men displaying their song birds in the mornings. Exploring every corner of our neighborhood will take months, and certainly yield all sorts of new treasures.
We look forward to Daddy's return from the states on Friday afternoon, and I'm so glad that Nana came to stay with us this week. Without her, this would certainly have been a difficult week. But with her around to help, and to enjoy the exploring, the girls and I have really enjoyed the first few days in our new home.
Today was L--'s second day of school, and this little girl is really a star. I feel blessedly confident that the timing in starting school is perfect. She happily allowed me to leave after a quick 5 minutes this morning, and didn't want to go when I picked her up this afternoon. Her teacher sent pictures of her climbing a tree, and examining a bull frog with a magnifying glass. Makes me jealous!
S-- is settling into a quiet enjoyment of her time without big sister. Today she had the complete attention of both Nana and myself, making for a particularly pleasant morning. She asks after her sister every so often, but finds school a satisfactory location for her absent sister.
I'm settling in to the new place as well. The apartment is quite spacious, and really quite nice. The complex is rather dreary, but the girls enjoy the fountains and goldfish in the middle and the playgrounds keep them happy for hours. Our first visit to the playground, and not one Western face. Not one word of English met my ears. My heart fell. But upon checking email this evening, I now have connections inside the complex to people with 2 year olds. Between school, our friends back in Pudong, and these new friends in the complex, S-- and I should keep plenty busy. Plus, we now truly live in China. This is no expat enclave, hiding away from the fact that we live in China. This is a complex primarily of upper class Chinese, in a very Chinese neighborhood. They're selling interesting food on the street, and we pass small alleys full of life on our way to school every morning. There's a small park across the street, which fills with tai chi practitioners and old men displaying their song birds in the mornings. Exploring every corner of our neighborhood will take months, and certainly yield all sorts of new treasures.
We look forward to Daddy's return from the states on Friday afternoon, and I'm so glad that Nana came to stay with us this week. Without her, this would certainly have been a difficult week. But with her around to help, and to enjoy the exploring, the girls and I have really enjoyed the first few days in our new home.
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
The First Day of School
After rather inauspicious beginnings... including powerful rainstorms and flooded streets yesterday, a cricket in the bathroom last night, and poopy pants on the way...
L-- had a wonderful first day of school.
We arrived at 8:30. I snapped a picture of her standing outside the school, and then we went in. Mrs. Leary greeted us just inside the door, where L-- found her name and signed in. She held on to me pretty tightly during sign in time, but found all of Mrs. Leary's words worth listening to and went ahead and signed in all by herself.
I hung around for about 20 minutes, where L-- slowly became comfortable. At first she walked around with a tight grip on my hand. Next she found books, and brought them to me. But after a while, she looked for Mrs. Leary, walking up the steps ahead of me to find her. I stepped into the sidelines, and she moved away from me easily. She didn't interact with the other kids at all, but she seemed comfortable to be in the midst of them. And when a few went outside to see the bunny, she ran to put on her shoes so she could go outside, too.
Outside, with her shoes on and the excitement of a bunny hopping around the ground, I said my good-bye. She gave me a quick kiss and ran off to watch the bunny.
When I arrived again at 1:15, she was playing contentedly with a light projected, watching the colors and the pictures change against the wall. Very happy to see me, she also seemed happy to show me her classroom a bit. We said our good-byes, grabbed her bags, and learned from her teachers that L-- had been a star all day.
I'm so proud of my big girl!
L-- had a wonderful first day of school.
We arrived at 8:30. I snapped a picture of her standing outside the school, and then we went in. Mrs. Leary greeted us just inside the door, where L-- found her name and signed in. She held on to me pretty tightly during sign in time, but found all of Mrs. Leary's words worth listening to and went ahead and signed in all by herself.
I hung around for about 20 minutes, where L-- slowly became comfortable. At first she walked around with a tight grip on my hand. Next she found books, and brought them to me. But after a while, she looked for Mrs. Leary, walking up the steps ahead of me to find her. I stepped into the sidelines, and she moved away from me easily. She didn't interact with the other kids at all, but she seemed comfortable to be in the midst of them. And when a few went outside to see the bunny, she ran to put on her shoes so she could go outside, too.
Outside, with her shoes on and the excitement of a bunny hopping around the ground, I said my good-bye. She gave me a quick kiss and ran off to watch the bunny.
When I arrived again at 1:15, she was playing contentedly with a light projected, watching the colors and the pictures change against the wall. Very happy to see me, she also seemed happy to show me her classroom a bit. We said our good-byes, grabbed her bags, and learned from her teachers that L-- had been a star all day.
I'm so proud of my big girl!
Monday, August 25, 2008
Rain Delay
I've been given one more day with my baby.
I awoke this morning to rolling thunder. By 6:00am, sound filled the apartment and shook the windows. The thunder boomed relentlessly for over an hour. L-- and I woke up right on time, and would have been ready to leave the house at 8:00am. The rain poured steadily and although the thunder dimmed, it did not recede entirely. I received a phone call from one of L--'s teachers at 7:30, saying that they had decided to cancel school. Not only had the storm thrown traffic patterns off considerably, but the teachers thought that rolling thunder may not be the best way to introduce a classroom of 3-6 year olds to their school experience. I think they were probably right.
So we spent the wet morning exploring our life in Puxi just a bit. Our neighborhood is certainly more Chinese - or "local," as us expats like to say. It makes us sound less racist and judgmental that way.
We hopped over to Ikea, which is now just in our backyard. The girls enjoyed exploring the showroom while my mom and I brainstormed about decorating the new place. We grabbed lunch, bought some bits and pieces, and headed out. The drive over only took 15 minutes. The drive back took over an hour, complete with driving in bike trails, driving against traffic, and turning full circles in the middle of on-coming traffic. The good news is that our driver seems entirely comfortable in his surroundings now - although the drive took a long time, he never seemed lost!
My connection is getting iffy, and so is my battery power. Bad news is that we don't have internet access in the new place is. Good news is that we've got wireless at the little coffee shop across the way. Bad news is... I forgot the charger.
Will update more over the next few days... including updates on the flooding in the complex, complete with pictures. And how much the girls like the local playground. Overall a very exciting first day!
I awoke this morning to rolling thunder. By 6:00am, sound filled the apartment and shook the windows. The thunder boomed relentlessly for over an hour. L-- and I woke up right on time, and would have been ready to leave the house at 8:00am. The rain poured steadily and although the thunder dimmed, it did not recede entirely. I received a phone call from one of L--'s teachers at 7:30, saying that they had decided to cancel school. Not only had the storm thrown traffic patterns off considerably, but the teachers thought that rolling thunder may not be the best way to introduce a classroom of 3-6 year olds to their school experience. I think they were probably right.
So we spent the wet morning exploring our life in Puxi just a bit. Our neighborhood is certainly more Chinese - or "local," as us expats like to say. It makes us sound less racist and judgmental that way.
We hopped over to Ikea, which is now just in our backyard. The girls enjoyed exploring the showroom while my mom and I brainstormed about decorating the new place. We grabbed lunch, bought some bits and pieces, and headed out. The drive over only took 15 minutes. The drive back took over an hour, complete with driving in bike trails, driving against traffic, and turning full circles in the middle of on-coming traffic. The good news is that our driver seems entirely comfortable in his surroundings now - although the drive took a long time, he never seemed lost!
My connection is getting iffy, and so is my battery power. Bad news is that we don't have internet access in the new place is. Good news is that we've got wireless at the little coffee shop across the way. Bad news is... I forgot the charger.
Will update more over the next few days... including updates on the flooding in the complex, complete with pictures. And how much the girls like the local playground. Overall a very exciting first day!
Sunday, August 24, 2008
Baby's Last Night
The house is quiet.
L’s backpack sits fully packed, with her lunchbox next to it. Its opening gapes, awaiting the freshly cut apples and cheese sitting neatly in the fridge until morning.
Tomorrow my baby goes to school.
This beautiful girl, my baby, has never done anything as an individual.
Everything she has ever done has been at my suggestion.
Anywhere she has ever gone, she has gone with me.
Anyone who has known L has known her as an extension of me.
Tomorrow my baby goes to school.
And tonight is the end.
Tomorrow she becomes her own little person.
She’ll learn things that I don’t know.
She’ll say things I’ve never said.
She’ll know people I’ve never met.
She’ll go places I’ve never gone.
She begins her own life tomorrow.
My little girl has grown so much over the past 3 years. Its amazing to think about it. From the tiny baby, who doubled in size in just a few short months. The infant who always smiled straight at the camera, and charmed everyone she met. She grew into a wary baby, a 1-year-old who was cautious on the playground and wouldn’t stray far from her family. Nana and Papa lived down the street, and they were in her inner circle – but no one else could come close to L. She kept herself well guarded, especially after the arrival of her sister. At only 15 months old, she had to stop being a baby and grow into a big sister. She managed the transition gracefully, although she still does a lot of kicking and stealing from her sister. Maybe she always will.
Just after her 2nd birthday, we moved her to China. And we learned that L handles change quite well, but needs social stability. She struggled with her celebrity status, a beautiful child with blonde hair and big blue eyes in a land of straight, black hair and thin, dark eyes. She moved to a culture where strangers touch babies, grabbing children’s hands and trying to walk with them. She withdrew so far into herself that we worried about her daily. She wouldn’t talk to anyone outside of our family. She stayed away from crowds and strangers.
She learned an important phrase in Chinese – bu you, or don’t! She learned that people leave her alone when she yells this at them, and that gave her confidence.
As we eased into our new home, we made a stable group of friends. L played with Ruby, Ella and Stella on a regular basis. They came to our home, they met us at the playground, and they joined us for music class. She got to know their moms, and soon she would walk down the street holding their hands and telling them stories. She grew out of her shell. And just last week, I saw her playing with a child she had never met before. She had introduced herself, knew his name, and the two of them ran a restaurant together. She had built her confidence enough to make a new friend on her own.
This builds my confidence as well, that she will be ready for school tomorrow. In a class of only 18 students, L will be the youngest, and the oldest will be nearly 6 years old. Four teachers lead her class, with other adults in the classroom to teach music, cooking or Mandarin. I can’t imagine a more perfect place for L than her new school. And I see that she has grown independent and confident enough for school. L is growing into her own little person. I am so proud of her. And so sad to say good-bye to my baby.
The Facts
We began the moving in process today. Ayi scrubbed the bathrooms clean, I swept the floor, and Dave moved the girls' beds into their new room.
And the fact is, its a really nice apartment.
Its notably bigger than our old apartment. It has two masters, meaning that our guest room is much larger and more comfortable than the old one. Our kitchen is larger with more storage space. Our bathrooms are larger and in much better condition. Our balcony is large enough for a full-size grill and a table and chairs. The view does not compete with the river and the Pearl Tower, but otherwise, I can hardly complain.
Internet access may be sporadic for the next few days, so it may be a bit before I can post more about the move and the first day of school.
And the fact is, its a really nice apartment.
Its notably bigger than our old apartment. It has two masters, meaning that our guest room is much larger and more comfortable than the old one. Our kitchen is larger with more storage space. Our bathrooms are larger and in much better condition. Our balcony is large enough for a full-size grill and a table and chairs. The view does not compete with the river and the Pearl Tower, but otherwise, I can hardly complain.
Internet access may be sporadic for the next few days, so it may be a bit before I can post more about the move and the first day of school.
Saturday, August 23, 2008
Shanghai Wins!
I have lived under a delusion this summer.
I told myself that a Shanghai summer was no more miserable than a Midwestern summer. High heat, high humidity - same forecast for both cities.
My mother arrived yesterday from St. Louis. She stepped on the airplane amid a St. Louis August day. She stepped off of the airplane into a Shanghai summer day. And her comments? Wow, its really muggy here.
The best part?
My friends and I had just been discussing what a pleasant day it was!
I told myself that a Shanghai summer was no more miserable than a Midwestern summer. High heat, high humidity - same forecast for both cities.
My mother arrived yesterday from St. Louis. She stepped on the airplane amid a St. Louis August day. She stepped off of the airplane into a Shanghai summer day. And her comments? Wow, its really muggy here.
The best part?
My friends and I had just been discussing what a pleasant day it was!
Moment of Silence
I'm in mourning.
I'm grieving the loss of my home.
I met our agent this afternoon, and did the initial walk-thru of our new apartment. As the taxi drove up to the complex, my heart fell. The buildings are dreary, exuding no warmth. The plants are simple, with no color. Their drab leaves blend into the grey buildings and concrete ground. The lack of flowers, grass and color make a person weary.
We rode the elevator to the 10th floor, and opened our apartment. Men were working, moving furniture and checking meter levels. All entirely appropriate, but hardly welcoming. The water spit and sputtered while it was on. With the oven on, the kitchen smells of fire. The view out the windows is certainly dreary, looking out upon the shades of grey in the complex. Living on the 10th of possibly 30 floors, we look straight into a sea of homes and tall buildings. We have space beyond our balcony, allowing more light. But our view looks directly onto the clubhouse, into storage rooms and a helipad. That's right. We have no idea why.
I struggled to keep back my tears as I walked through the apartment. The windows let in only a bit of light, and they all looked upon the grey city. The girls rooms look out onto a utility balcony, affording them even less natural light.
Tomorrow I will focus on the positive. We begin moving furniture tomorrow morning, and we will sleep at the new place tomorrow night. It will be a bit of camping, with no living room furniture or telephone. So later I will focus on the bright, cheery lighting and the large rooms. Tomorrow I can plan how to decorate, and find where they sell flowers at a bargain.
Today, I will mourn the gardens and lawns of our current complex. The light orange tile that makes up our building, giving everything a brighter, cleaner feel. The wide sidewalks lined with rock gardens and flowers. The hedges along the winding paths, and the fountains painted bright blue for children to splash in.
My phone rings. A friend has just arrived at the playground downstairs, and asked us to join her. Today, I will mourn this community. Tomorrow, I will build another.
I'm grieving the loss of my home.
I met our agent this afternoon, and did the initial walk-thru of our new apartment. As the taxi drove up to the complex, my heart fell. The buildings are dreary, exuding no warmth. The plants are simple, with no color. Their drab leaves blend into the grey buildings and concrete ground. The lack of flowers, grass and color make a person weary.
We rode the elevator to the 10th floor, and opened our apartment. Men were working, moving furniture and checking meter levels. All entirely appropriate, but hardly welcoming. The water spit and sputtered while it was on. With the oven on, the kitchen smells of fire. The view out the windows is certainly dreary, looking out upon the shades of grey in the complex. Living on the 10th of possibly 30 floors, we look straight into a sea of homes and tall buildings. We have space beyond our balcony, allowing more light. But our view looks directly onto the clubhouse, into storage rooms and a helipad. That's right. We have no idea why.
I struggled to keep back my tears as I walked through the apartment. The windows let in only a bit of light, and they all looked upon the grey city. The girls rooms look out onto a utility balcony, affording them even less natural light.
Tomorrow I will focus on the positive. We begin moving furniture tomorrow morning, and we will sleep at the new place tomorrow night. It will be a bit of camping, with no living room furniture or telephone. So later I will focus on the bright, cheery lighting and the large rooms. Tomorrow I can plan how to decorate, and find where they sell flowers at a bargain.
Today, I will mourn the gardens and lawns of our current complex. The light orange tile that makes up our building, giving everything a brighter, cleaner feel. The wide sidewalks lined with rock gardens and flowers. The hedges along the winding paths, and the fountains painted bright blue for children to splash in.
My phone rings. A friend has just arrived at the playground downstairs, and asked us to join her. Today, I will mourn this community. Tomorrow, I will build another.
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
And So It Begins
Beginning tomorrow morning, the next few weeks are loaded. For the record, I'll list the itinerary below. But the details are not the point. The daily changes and frequent interactions with new people will keep our entire family on our toes for quite some time.
This is good.
Everyone in our family does well with change. We enjoy exploring new places, and our new apartment is located in a very exciting part of town. There will be plenty of explore, beyond the challenging tasks of finding the nearest market, bank and post office. We will enjoy doing these explorations with our guests, as well as finding the best local retaurants, the best little dumpling stand, the best DVD stall. We're a family of explorers, and are looking forward to exploring a new part of town.
The girls need time to adjust to social change. But L-- has been looking forward to school for weeks now, and the social stability affording her from going to school every day should negate any challenges of meeting new friends and leaving old ones behind. S-- likes knowing her friends and having stability around her, but she's such a social creature that she'll enjoy any crowd of people and quickly be friends with them all.
All along, I've said that I'm sad to leave my friends. And it is upon leaving that I realize what good friends I have here. Even though we all have ayis, friends have offered to fix meals for our family, to watch my children, and even to help pack boxes. Much like in college, our friends have substituted for our family and we depend upon each other. I'll miss having such close friends within a few minutes walk. But I leave well assured that these women are truly close friends of mine, and will remain my friends even though the commute between homes may be a bit longer. And what a treat - not only to realize what good friends I have while they're still around, but to be afforded the opportunity to make even more in my new neighbors.
We leave feeling good.
The Itinerary:
Thursday, Aug. 21:
Open House at L--'s school. The whole family will attend, and then go out to a hotel / retreat center on the outskirts of town.
Friday, Aug. 22:
We'll enjoy the pool, the beach, the playroom and the large park nearby at the hotel. If its affordable, we'll stay another night.
Saturday, Aug. 23:
AM - We have our family physicals for our adoption paperwork
Midday - Mom arrives from America, I have my final cooking class, and we get the keys to the new place
PM - Dave and I collapse the girls' beds and pack a few boxes
Sunday, Aug. 24:
AM - Dave and I move the girls' beds and a few things into the new apartment. The family will sleep there tonight.
PM - Dave flies to America for the week
Monday, Aug. 25:
The first day of school!
Today we celebrate L-- and normalcy, aiming for as calm a day as possible.
Tuesday, Aug. 26:
After school, we'll head back to the old house to pack a few more boxes and hang out at the local playgroup. This is the first time it will be held anywhere besides our home!
Wednesday, Aug. 27:
The long-awaited haircut. Dare I dream?
Thursday, Aug. 28:
Movers come, and take everything from 1 home to the next. From packing to unpacking, they estimate it should take about 6 hours.
Friday, Aug. 29:
Unpacking! Plus, Dave arrives back in China, and we meet a friend at the airport. She'll stay with us for the next 2 weeks.
Here's where things slow down a bit. There's no longer something scheduled for every day, although plenty is going on.
Sep. 3-5:
If all goes well, our social worker will be in town these days to complete our home study. This means that amid the rest of this craziness, we're also assembling our dossier and preparing for the adoption.
Sep. 4:
L-- turns 3 years old! We hope to celebrate her birthday with family on Friday night, after the adoption is done. Then it'll be a big birthday party on Saturday afternoon.
Sep. 6:
Nana goes back to the states, after a really packed few weeks. I can't imagine a better time for her to be here! Not only will she help us a ton, but she'll be here for L--'s birthday, get to see our new home, and get to visit L--'s school. Win-Win!
We'll also have a big BBQ back at the old place with our friends. Not only will we celebrate L--'s birthday, but also having made it through the last two weeks. Move completed, homestudy completed, its time to relax with our friends.
Sep. 7:
Things start right up again, as good friends from Kansas City will visit for nearly 2 weeks. We look forward to exploring the city with them from our new out post, and seeing this new part of Shanghai through fresh eyes.
Sep. 27:
Our last set of guests arrive, just at the beginning of a 1 week federal holiday. Dave'll be off work and able to enjoy the visit from his brother and his wife. We look forward to nearly a week together with them, exploring our neighborhood some more and just spending time together.
And that leaves us empty for the foreseeable future. Check your calendars, and let us know when we can expect you! Our new guest room is quite large, with a sitting area, a luxurious bathroom, and its own tv and DVD player. We look forward to hosting you!
This is good.
Everyone in our family does well with change. We enjoy exploring new places, and our new apartment is located in a very exciting part of town. There will be plenty of explore, beyond the challenging tasks of finding the nearest market, bank and post office. We will enjoy doing these explorations with our guests, as well as finding the best local retaurants, the best little dumpling stand, the best DVD stall. We're a family of explorers, and are looking forward to exploring a new part of town.
The girls need time to adjust to social change. But L-- has been looking forward to school for weeks now, and the social stability affording her from going to school every day should negate any challenges of meeting new friends and leaving old ones behind. S-- likes knowing her friends and having stability around her, but she's such a social creature that she'll enjoy any crowd of people and quickly be friends with them all.
All along, I've said that I'm sad to leave my friends. And it is upon leaving that I realize what good friends I have here. Even though we all have ayis, friends have offered to fix meals for our family, to watch my children, and even to help pack boxes. Much like in college, our friends have substituted for our family and we depend upon each other. I'll miss having such close friends within a few minutes walk. But I leave well assured that these women are truly close friends of mine, and will remain my friends even though the commute between homes may be a bit longer. And what a treat - not only to realize what good friends I have while they're still around, but to be afforded the opportunity to make even more in my new neighbors.
We leave feeling good.
The Itinerary:
Thursday, Aug. 21:
Open House at L--'s school. The whole family will attend, and then go out to a hotel / retreat center on the outskirts of town.
Friday, Aug. 22:
We'll enjoy the pool, the beach, the playroom and the large park nearby at the hotel. If its affordable, we'll stay another night.
Saturday, Aug. 23:
AM - We have our family physicals for our adoption paperwork
Midday - Mom arrives from America, I have my final cooking class, and we get the keys to the new place
PM - Dave and I collapse the girls' beds and pack a few boxes
Sunday, Aug. 24:
AM - Dave and I move the girls' beds and a few things into the new apartment. The family will sleep there tonight.
PM - Dave flies to America for the week
Monday, Aug. 25:
The first day of school!
Today we celebrate L-- and normalcy, aiming for as calm a day as possible.
Tuesday, Aug. 26:
After school, we'll head back to the old house to pack a few more boxes and hang out at the local playgroup. This is the first time it will be held anywhere besides our home!
Wednesday, Aug. 27:
The long-awaited haircut. Dare I dream?
Thursday, Aug. 28:
Movers come, and take everything from 1 home to the next. From packing to unpacking, they estimate it should take about 6 hours.
Friday, Aug. 29:
Unpacking! Plus, Dave arrives back in China, and we meet a friend at the airport. She'll stay with us for the next 2 weeks.
Here's where things slow down a bit. There's no longer something scheduled for every day, although plenty is going on.
Sep. 3-5:
If all goes well, our social worker will be in town these days to complete our home study. This means that amid the rest of this craziness, we're also assembling our dossier and preparing for the adoption.
Sep. 4:
L-- turns 3 years old! We hope to celebrate her birthday with family on Friday night, after the adoption is done. Then it'll be a big birthday party on Saturday afternoon.
Sep. 6:
Nana goes back to the states, after a really packed few weeks. I can't imagine a better time for her to be here! Not only will she help us a ton, but she'll be here for L--'s birthday, get to see our new home, and get to visit L--'s school. Win-Win!
We'll also have a big BBQ back at the old place with our friends. Not only will we celebrate L--'s birthday, but also having made it through the last two weeks. Move completed, homestudy completed, its time to relax with our friends.
Sep. 7:
Things start right up again, as good friends from Kansas City will visit for nearly 2 weeks. We look forward to exploring the city with them from our new out post, and seeing this new part of Shanghai through fresh eyes.
Sep. 27:
Our last set of guests arrive, just at the beginning of a 1 week federal holiday. Dave'll be off work and able to enjoy the visit from his brother and his wife. We look forward to nearly a week together with them, exploring our neighborhood some more and just spending time together.
And that leaves us empty for the foreseeable future. Check your calendars, and let us know when we can expect you! Our new guest room is quite large, with a sitting area, a luxurious bathroom, and its own tv and DVD player. We look forward to hosting you!
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Cheap Labor
Our stroller has been a bit squeaky lately. This is our super-expensive stroller, which has fit as a replacement for a car since we bought it. It carries not only 2 growing children, but also loads of groceries and boxes of diapers. This stroller carries us to the swimming pool and the sand playground, with bits and pieces ground into its nooks and crannies all the way home. So its no wonder that the poor thing would begin to squeak.
A tune up in the states would cost around $75 at a bike shop.
We walked down our local alley to our little bike man. He chatted with us while he finished his rice, and then got straight to work. He gently filled the tires with air, putting more thought into this process than I'd ever seen anyone do. He oiled each joint, giving all three tires a thorough once-over and checking by sound and by motion to make sure the stroller was running smoothly by the time I left.
Cost? 8 RMB, or just over $1.
The man was an enjoyable character as well. His thickly tanned skin and his flip-flops made him fit in with "the peasantry" in China, the reason that most women cover their arms and carry umbrellas when out in the sun. But he wore his dark skin in a more Western style, as if he spent his days hanging out at the local drink shop, tooling over people's bikes, and leading a simple and easy existence. In China, as in many countries, the poor and the downtrodden are not by any means the least intelligent. The masses in China are tied to a specific job, a specific place. If that job and place does not provide you and your family with a quality education or suitable healthcare, you may well do without. People work as ayis who have the minds and the discipline to run their own businesses, or certainly to work in any Western office. Our bike dude, he was a smart man. He enjoyed his work. Who would have been a drop-out of the materialist society in America, was a man simply comfortable with his lot in life in China.
We have also decided to hire movers for our impending jump across the river. Too many details and too little time to fit it all in. So I invited 4 different companies to survey our home this morning. For under $500 USD, an international company will move our family across town. This pays 8-10 people for a full day's work, besides covering the overhead of an international moving firm. And this is being paid overtime, because we'll be moving on a Saturday. Five hundred dollars is a decent chunk of money - but if I break it down to an hourly rate, each man will make about $5 an hour to pack my boxes and move them for me. My time and peace of mind is definitely worth that much.
Hooray for cheap labor!
A tune up in the states would cost around $75 at a bike shop.
We walked down our local alley to our little bike man. He chatted with us while he finished his rice, and then got straight to work. He gently filled the tires with air, putting more thought into this process than I'd ever seen anyone do. He oiled each joint, giving all three tires a thorough once-over and checking by sound and by motion to make sure the stroller was running smoothly by the time I left.
Cost? 8 RMB, or just over $1.
The man was an enjoyable character as well. His thickly tanned skin and his flip-flops made him fit in with "the peasantry" in China, the reason that most women cover their arms and carry umbrellas when out in the sun. But he wore his dark skin in a more Western style, as if he spent his days hanging out at the local drink shop, tooling over people's bikes, and leading a simple and easy existence. In China, as in many countries, the poor and the downtrodden are not by any means the least intelligent. The masses in China are tied to a specific job, a specific place. If that job and place does not provide you and your family with a quality education or suitable healthcare, you may well do without. People work as ayis who have the minds and the discipline to run their own businesses, or certainly to work in any Western office. Our bike dude, he was a smart man. He enjoyed his work. Who would have been a drop-out of the materialist society in America, was a man simply comfortable with his lot in life in China.
We have also decided to hire movers for our impending jump across the river. Too many details and too little time to fit it all in. So I invited 4 different companies to survey our home this morning. For under $500 USD, an international company will move our family across town. This pays 8-10 people for a full day's work, besides covering the overhead of an international moving firm. And this is being paid overtime, because we'll be moving on a Saturday. Five hundred dollars is a decent chunk of money - but if I break it down to an hourly rate, each man will make about $5 an hour to pack my boxes and move them for me. My time and peace of mind is definitely worth that much.
Hooray for cheap labor!
Monday, August 18, 2008
Full House
Yesterday, I went to bed feeling a bit overwhelmed. A lot of things will happen over the next two weeks:
- L-- starts school.
- We gain access to our new apartment.
- We lose access to our old apartment.
- We have our Home Study with our social worker for the adoption.
- L-- celebrates her 3rd birthday.
Amid this craziness,
- Dave will be in the states for a week, meaning jetlag for the days following his return.
- We lose our current ayi, and need to find another.
Most of this will happen in our new home. Because L-- starts school on Monday, the girls and I will begin sleeping at our new home on Sunday night. This is before we can arrange movers, so we'll be camping out for a few days.
I felt overwhelmed, and a bit apprehensive. I didn't know how I could make everything work in the set time frame. I was afraid that poor S-- would have to tag along on too many errands and to help with too much packing, spending too much time in the car and rightfully being grumpy about it.
This morning we got word about two visitors.
A friend-of-a-friend will be staying with us beginning next Friday. This is good news. She says she's happy to help both with the girls and with the move. She's happy to carry L--'s birthday present across the ocean for us. She'll be a great help.
But she arrives on Friday... that is the Friday that Dave arrives from the states. She misses the week of craziness where we juggle moving, starting school and living without friends or husband / Daddy.
So here's the great news.
My mom just bought a ticket to Shanghai. How more perfect than to have my mom to help us move, Nana to help with S--, grandma to maintain a semblance of stability and sanity. She'll help us to explore our new neighborhood. She'll help us to survive without an ayi - we'll figure out together how to work the washing machine (no dryer this time, and the washing machine is located outside).
A huge weight disappeared when I heard that news, and now I'm fully excited about this move. And the full house that we'll have for the first few weeks of our life there.
- L-- starts school.
- We gain access to our new apartment.
- We lose access to our old apartment.
- We have our Home Study with our social worker for the adoption.
- L-- celebrates her 3rd birthday.
Amid this craziness,
- Dave will be in the states for a week, meaning jetlag for the days following his return.
- We lose our current ayi, and need to find another.
Most of this will happen in our new home. Because L-- starts school on Monday, the girls and I will begin sleeping at our new home on Sunday night. This is before we can arrange movers, so we'll be camping out for a few days.
I felt overwhelmed, and a bit apprehensive. I didn't know how I could make everything work in the set time frame. I was afraid that poor S-- would have to tag along on too many errands and to help with too much packing, spending too much time in the car and rightfully being grumpy about it.
This morning we got word about two visitors.
A friend-of-a-friend will be staying with us beginning next Friday. This is good news. She says she's happy to help both with the girls and with the move. She's happy to carry L--'s birthday present across the ocean for us. She'll be a great help.
But she arrives on Friday... that is the Friday that Dave arrives from the states. She misses the week of craziness where we juggle moving, starting school and living without friends or husband / Daddy.
So here's the great news.
My mom just bought a ticket to Shanghai. How more perfect than to have my mom to help us move, Nana to help with S--, grandma to maintain a semblance of stability and sanity. She'll help us to explore our new neighborhood. She'll help us to survive without an ayi - we'll figure out together how to work the washing machine (no dryer this time, and the washing machine is located outside).
A huge weight disappeared when I heard that news, and now I'm fully excited about this move. And the full house that we'll have for the first few weeks of our life there.
Guest Post-script: Chinese Medicine
At work this morning, I tried to schedule a meeting with one of my coworkers. She said she had to run to the hospital in the early afternoon. She then elaborated that she and her husband showed up at the hospital at 4 am this morning (this from a girl who rarely gets in to the office before 9:30), waited around for 4 hours with hundreds of other fairly desperate people, and eventually were given the chance to come back at 12:30 this afternoon to meet with the herbalist about some medicine for her father.
A few companies are considering providing insurance that provides access to those lovely VIP wards to their local Chinese workers (everything is available at the right price!). This coverage is quite a bit more expensive than standard medical plans, and some may think it elitist. From my perspective, it's the least that should be provided.
A few companies are considering providing insurance that provides access to those lovely VIP wards to their local Chinese workers (everything is available at the right price!). This coverage is quite a bit more expensive than standard medical plans, and some may think it elitist. From my perspective, it's the least that should be provided.
Chinese Medicine
After the high fever, my sickness progressed into a sharp headache which just wouldn't go away. By God's grace, Dave's work load was low on Thursday and Friday so he took the days to work from home. Between a sick mom, a working dad and an ayi we managed to keep the household running pretty smoothly. But by Sunday afternoon, I had had enough of feeling sick. I sucked it up, and went to the doctor.
We live quite near Shanghai East Hospital. I had heard that first rate doctors work inside the hospital, but had never summoned the courage to try their facilities. Before, I also went to the doctor for the girls. We always stuck with what worked - the overpriced, low-quality offerings at the expat clinic run by Parkway Health. On my own, I was looking for quick so I decided to try the hospital. Dave made the appointment and sent me on my way.
Our driver took me. Our driver speaks no English - not one word. I take that back - I have inadvertently taught him Okay, Sorry and Grocery Store. But he is infinitely helpful and thoughtful. He drove me to the hospital, and insisted I get out at the Outpatient Door. He had read the signs in Chinese, and it was clear to him that I was in the right place.
If it was clear to Michael, it must be right, I supposed. So I got out, carrying my pounding headache along with me. I walked into the outpatient lobby of the hospital, and immediately felt like turning back around. The large room was dimly lit, noisy and crowded with people milling in random directions. The cashiers had bars on their windows, making them resemble banks from over 50 years ago. The tiled floors were cracked and dirty. There was no natural light. It did not feel like a healthy place. And I had no idea where to go.
Luckily, the directional signs were bilingual. I noted the VIP Center. I had heard a friend talk about taking her son to the VIP Center for stitches. That's got to be the place. I made my way through the crowds, successfully asked for directions in Chinese once, and finally found myself walking down a long hallway toward the VIP Center. The hallway felt grim, and smelled of smoke and old buildings. It did not smell hygienic, or anything like a doctor's office. I felt like I was about to cry.
I reached the doors to the VIP Center, opened them, and felt like I had stepped into another world. The tiles changed, from dirty and chipped to new, bright and smooth. The chairs looked comfortable, the lighting was bright and cheerful. This looked like a regular doctor's office in America. I felt like I could breathe again.
Let's pause here for a moment to wonder about the VIP Center. Who, exactly, are the VIPs? Apparently I am one - I could have been seen in this clinic. But what kind of policy is it for a hospital to separate its patients into those Very Important Patients worth a Western standard of cleanliness and care, and those other patients only worth substandard care at best? China offers healthcare to all of its citizens, although it is a far cry from the comprehensive health care offered by countries like Australia and New Zealand. Still, I must assume that the VIP Center is for those outside of the national healthcare. And what a striking assumption! That the Very Important People in China are those carrying foreign passports! But so it seems, at the hospital.
Back to the story.
I pulled myself together, walked up to the desk, and told the nice ladies sitting behind the counter that I had an appointment this afternoon.
No, you don't, they pertly replied.
I was dumbfounded. They hadn't asked my name. They hadn't looked in their computer. A sign stood on the counter requiring people to have appointments. How could they know?
Me: Um, yeah, I'm pretty sure I have an appointment.
Pert Nurses: No, we haven't taken any calls in quite a while.
Me: Hmm. Still, I'm pretty sure I have an appointment. Would you just check, maybe?
Pert Nurses: No, we're quite sure you don't. No calls today.
Me: My husband called this morning to make an appointment. I am quite sure I have an appointment.
At this point, I was beginning to feel desperate. I wasn't sure what else to say, besides Please don't make me go back out there into that dingy, gross, unpleasant hospital. Please, I really want to be a Very Important Person here! Tears were stinging my eyes.
Pert Nurses: Maybe you have an appointment down the hall. (My heart jerked with fear.) We will call them for you.
They called.
Apparently, I did have an appointment down the hall.
I was being sent away from the VIP Ward.
Pert Nurses: Just go outside, and walk to the next entrance.
I walked outside, and immediately burst into tears. This was much more challenging than I had imagined. I called Dave.
Me: (Bawling) Are you sure you made the appointment in the right place?
Dave: (Remarkably calm) Yes, I'm sure.
Me: (Still bawling) Because they just sent me away from the VIP Ward, and they're making me walk outside to something else and I don't know what it is but I've never heard of it and I just don't think it seems like a very good idea.
Dave: (Just as remarkably calm) Don't worry. I called the Medical Center, where everyone speaks English. You're going to the right place.
Me: (Yes, still bawling) But is it going to be really gross?
Dave: (Cool as a cucumber) No, it will not be gross at all.
I pulled myself together again, and walked inside Shanghai East International Medical Center. To my surprise, it wasn't scary or gross at all. The woman at the desk knew right who I was, gave me a nice form to fill out, and then sent me immediately back to a rather grandfatherly British gentleman who gave me some nice, strong drugs to clear that headache right away.
Apparently Shanghai East Hospital is simply a hospital in the Chinese system - which honestly, I know absolutely nothing about. The only thing I know is that I am grateful not to ever need to use the local system. It seems that the VIP Ward is part of Shanghai East Hospital. I know that they speak English there, and that they direct-bill my health insurance. Presumably, this is the portion of the hospital that meets Western standards and caters to foreigners.
Shanghai East International Medical Center seems to be its own little mini-hospital, backing onto the same building as Shanghai East Hospital. The whole thing is a bit confusing, really. Especially if you enter on the south side of the building.
I walked away feeling fine with my treatment, happy with my very strong drugs, and thrilled that although I may not have been a VIP that day, at least I wasn't treated like a local. Those poor locals.
We live quite near Shanghai East Hospital. I had heard that first rate doctors work inside the hospital, but had never summoned the courage to try their facilities. Before, I also went to the doctor for the girls. We always stuck with what worked - the overpriced, low-quality offerings at the expat clinic run by Parkway Health. On my own, I was looking for quick so I decided to try the hospital. Dave made the appointment and sent me on my way.
Our driver took me. Our driver speaks no English - not one word. I take that back - I have inadvertently taught him Okay, Sorry and Grocery Store. But he is infinitely helpful and thoughtful. He drove me to the hospital, and insisted I get out at the Outpatient Door. He had read the signs in Chinese, and it was clear to him that I was in the right place.
If it was clear to Michael, it must be right, I supposed. So I got out, carrying my pounding headache along with me. I walked into the outpatient lobby of the hospital, and immediately felt like turning back around. The large room was dimly lit, noisy and crowded with people milling in random directions. The cashiers had bars on their windows, making them resemble banks from over 50 years ago. The tiled floors were cracked and dirty. There was no natural light. It did not feel like a healthy place. And I had no idea where to go.
Luckily, the directional signs were bilingual. I noted the VIP Center. I had heard a friend talk about taking her son to the VIP Center for stitches. That's got to be the place. I made my way through the crowds, successfully asked for directions in Chinese once, and finally found myself walking down a long hallway toward the VIP Center. The hallway felt grim, and smelled of smoke and old buildings. It did not smell hygienic, or anything like a doctor's office. I felt like I was about to cry.
I reached the doors to the VIP Center, opened them, and felt like I had stepped into another world. The tiles changed, from dirty and chipped to new, bright and smooth. The chairs looked comfortable, the lighting was bright and cheerful. This looked like a regular doctor's office in America. I felt like I could breathe again.
Let's pause here for a moment to wonder about the VIP Center. Who, exactly, are the VIPs? Apparently I am one - I could have been seen in this clinic. But what kind of policy is it for a hospital to separate its patients into those Very Important Patients worth a Western standard of cleanliness and care, and those other patients only worth substandard care at best? China offers healthcare to all of its citizens, although it is a far cry from the comprehensive health care offered by countries like Australia and New Zealand. Still, I must assume that the VIP Center is for those outside of the national healthcare. And what a striking assumption! That the Very Important People in China are those carrying foreign passports! But so it seems, at the hospital.
Back to the story.
I pulled myself together, walked up to the desk, and told the nice ladies sitting behind the counter that I had an appointment this afternoon.
No, you don't, they pertly replied.
I was dumbfounded. They hadn't asked my name. They hadn't looked in their computer. A sign stood on the counter requiring people to have appointments. How could they know?
Me: Um, yeah, I'm pretty sure I have an appointment.
Pert Nurses: No, we haven't taken any calls in quite a while.
Me: Hmm. Still, I'm pretty sure I have an appointment. Would you just check, maybe?
Pert Nurses: No, we're quite sure you don't. No calls today.
Me: My husband called this morning to make an appointment. I am quite sure I have an appointment.
At this point, I was beginning to feel desperate. I wasn't sure what else to say, besides Please don't make me go back out there into that dingy, gross, unpleasant hospital. Please, I really want to be a Very Important Person here! Tears were stinging my eyes.
Pert Nurses: Maybe you have an appointment down the hall. (My heart jerked with fear.) We will call them for you.
They called.
Apparently, I did have an appointment down the hall.
I was being sent away from the VIP Ward.
Pert Nurses: Just go outside, and walk to the next entrance.
I walked outside, and immediately burst into tears. This was much more challenging than I had imagined. I called Dave.
Me: (Bawling) Are you sure you made the appointment in the right place?
Dave: (Remarkably calm) Yes, I'm sure.
Me: (Still bawling) Because they just sent me away from the VIP Ward, and they're making me walk outside to something else and I don't know what it is but I've never heard of it and I just don't think it seems like a very good idea.
Dave: (Just as remarkably calm) Don't worry. I called the Medical Center, where everyone speaks English. You're going to the right place.
Me: (Yes, still bawling) But is it going to be really gross?
Dave: (Cool as a cucumber) No, it will not be gross at all.
I pulled myself together again, and walked inside Shanghai East International Medical Center. To my surprise, it wasn't scary or gross at all. The woman at the desk knew right who I was, gave me a nice form to fill out, and then sent me immediately back to a rather grandfatherly British gentleman who gave me some nice, strong drugs to clear that headache right away.
Apparently Shanghai East Hospital is simply a hospital in the Chinese system - which honestly, I know absolutely nothing about. The only thing I know is that I am grateful not to ever need to use the local system. It seems that the VIP Ward is part of Shanghai East Hospital. I know that they speak English there, and that they direct-bill my health insurance. Presumably, this is the portion of the hospital that meets Western standards and caters to foreigners.
Shanghai East International Medical Center seems to be its own little mini-hospital, backing onto the same building as Shanghai East Hospital. The whole thing is a bit confusing, really. Especially if you enter on the south side of the building.
I walked away feeling fine with my treatment, happy with my very strong drugs, and thrilled that although I may not have been a VIP that day, at least I wasn't treated like a local. Those poor locals.
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
Makin' Me Sick
I have never been so sick and so frequently as I have in Shanghai.
I thought that mothers were somehow immune to illness. When the whole family was down with the stomach flu immediately before our initial flight to Shanghai, I cleaned everyone up and never felt even a flutter in my own stomach.
But something in the air here, or something in the food or the water, is just unavoidable. It seems that even a mother is not immune.
In December, my illness won the award for the longest lasting. For over 3 weeks, L-- and S-- and I all felt draggy and listless, grumpy and depressed, sore throat and runny nose. Apparently each of these symptoms fit as typical of the bug that ran through Shanghai. I lost my voice, and it remained gone for the entire time. Under the stress of a house of sick children, I still attempted to raise my voice, thereby creating Shanghai Voice. To this day, I can no longer project my voice unless I have had plenty of water over the past few days.
Yesterday, my illness won the award for highest fever. As far as I can recall, I have not had a fever since childhood. On Sunday morning, S-- awoke feeling warm and slept most of the day. We are inept at taking her temperature, but one attempt brought a result of 102F. This can not be far off. She rested, she grumped a bit, and she felt much better by the next day, although a rash still covers her four days later. Yesterday, I awoke with a horrible headache. Advil cured the headache for a while, but by mid-afternoon nothing would work. I let the girls take long naps and slept all afternoon on the couch. By the time Dave got home, I hadn't had the energy to fix dinner and could barely eat it. By 10:00 at night, I had a fever of 101.5F and felt miserable. This gives me much more compassion for my girls when they have high fevers. With no specific complaints, I felt horrible all over.
Dave served as the soothing husband, and after I finally fell asleep last night I slept well into the morning. Feeling better this morning, but Dave has blessedly taken the day off to let me rest. Maybe I can get all of our adoption paperwork done today, leading to no loss in time.
I thought that mothers were somehow immune to illness. When the whole family was down with the stomach flu immediately before our initial flight to Shanghai, I cleaned everyone up and never felt even a flutter in my own stomach.
But something in the air here, or something in the food or the water, is just unavoidable. It seems that even a mother is not immune.
In December, my illness won the award for the longest lasting. For over 3 weeks, L-- and S-- and I all felt draggy and listless, grumpy and depressed, sore throat and runny nose. Apparently each of these symptoms fit as typical of the bug that ran through Shanghai. I lost my voice, and it remained gone for the entire time. Under the stress of a house of sick children, I still attempted to raise my voice, thereby creating Shanghai Voice. To this day, I can no longer project my voice unless I have had plenty of water over the past few days.
Yesterday, my illness won the award for highest fever. As far as I can recall, I have not had a fever since childhood. On Sunday morning, S-- awoke feeling warm and slept most of the day. We are inept at taking her temperature, but one attempt brought a result of 102F. This can not be far off. She rested, she grumped a bit, and she felt much better by the next day, although a rash still covers her four days later. Yesterday, I awoke with a horrible headache. Advil cured the headache for a while, but by mid-afternoon nothing would work. I let the girls take long naps and slept all afternoon on the couch. By the time Dave got home, I hadn't had the energy to fix dinner and could barely eat it. By 10:00 at night, I had a fever of 101.5F and felt miserable. This gives me much more compassion for my girls when they have high fevers. With no specific complaints, I felt horrible all over.
Dave served as the soothing husband, and after I finally fell asleep last night I slept well into the morning. Feeling better this morning, but Dave has blessedly taken the day off to let me rest. Maybe I can get all of our adoption paperwork done today, leading to no loss in time.
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Out to Lunch
When I was a kid, my mom stayed home with us and my dad worked a regular 9-5. His job involved some travel, and so occasionally he would disappear for a week, off driving the blue highways of Nebraska. During those weeks, my mom would always take us to McDonalds for one meal. We rarely ate at restaurants, and I remember the excitement of these meals. Riding in the car in the evening, looking out at the lights sparkling past our window, headed out into the night with only mom as our guardian. Somehow it felt so exciting. These evenings also felt excitingly naughty, as if Mom was helping us to break the rules. We never went to McDonalds with the whole family. This was something saved for when Dad was away, as if there were something mildly wrong about it. I loved it.
Sadly, I have not saved that thrill for my children. Any day that Dave works late, we go out to eat for one meal. This afternoon the girls and I ate lunch at a French patisserie called Paul. Apparently this bakery has locations all throughout France, from high street corners to train depots. And now they have spread to Shanghai, where the shops are frequented primarily by Westerners looking for a great load of bread or a wonderful pastry.
We sat down to eat at some high stools. The lunch area was small, and only a few stools remained. As we finished our meal, another family sat on those stools. The mother was Caucasian and spoke English to her two girls, both elementary school aged. I didn't know them, and felt no need to speak to them.
As we began to clear away our garbage, L-- asked if I would speak to the woman next to us.
Lynne: No, I don't know her. I don't have anything reason to talk to her.
L-- listened, and looked at the other mom for a moment.
L--: But she's an English Mom. You speak to English Moms.
And the truth is, I had considered striking up a conversation with the woman simply based on the fact that we both clearly speak English. It occurred to me how strange that would be in another city, to begin talking to the person at the table next to you in a McDonalds or a Starbucks. To begin a conversation with them just because you could understand their conversation. But here? As L-- can attest, this is perfectly normal.
Sadly, I have not saved that thrill for my children. Any day that Dave works late, we go out to eat for one meal. This afternoon the girls and I ate lunch at a French patisserie called Paul. Apparently this bakery has locations all throughout France, from high street corners to train depots. And now they have spread to Shanghai, where the shops are frequented primarily by Westerners looking for a great load of bread or a wonderful pastry.
We sat down to eat at some high stools. The lunch area was small, and only a few stools remained. As we finished our meal, another family sat on those stools. The mother was Caucasian and spoke English to her two girls, both elementary school aged. I didn't know them, and felt no need to speak to them.
As we began to clear away our garbage, L-- asked if I would speak to the woman next to us.
Lynne: No, I don't know her. I don't have anything reason to talk to her.
L-- listened, and looked at the other mom for a moment.
L--: But she's an English Mom. You speak to English Moms.
And the truth is, I had considered striking up a conversation with the woman simply based on the fact that we both clearly speak English. It occurred to me how strange that would be in another city, to begin talking to the person at the table next to you in a McDonalds or a Starbucks. To begin a conversation with them just because you could understand their conversation. But here? As L-- can attest, this is perfectly normal.
Monday, August 11, 2008
All At Once
With so many things up in the air this summer, I expected to ironically resolve all of our drama on one day. Changes have been in motion since Monday, when we learned we will stay in Shanghai. But still, today we have learned many things and I have some meaty updates to share.
The Move
I looked at apartments in Puxi this morning, and toured one that I liked very much. Upon deciding to move to Puxi, I knew that I would be leaving a wonderful complex. It comes as no surprise that our new complex will not be as green or as pretty as our current home. That said, our new apartment will be a better place for us. Although our current home is nicely decorated and feels quite homey, this new apartment has a better layout, a wonderful kitchen and two great bathrooms. Plus loads more space - enough to house little Mei Mei when she arrives, God willing.
The landlord showed us the apartment, and was very gracious and helpful. She was open to purchasing new furniture where we need it, and to providing a reasonable budget for the purchase. She was open to allowing us to move in on a tight schedule - we should be able to sleep in the new apartment the night before L--'s first day of school - August 25th.
The Adoption
The schedule of the move gave me a good excuse to call our social worker, and get an update on her accreditation. As I expected, she had delivered us no news because there is no news to deliver. She submitted all of her documentation at the beginning of July, as she told us. She has heard nothing since, and expects to hear nothing more until August 24th and the completion of the Olympics. The U.S. Embassy in China and the U.S. State Department are responsible for coordinating this change in her accreditation status, and both are no doubt frantically busy with the Olympics. She hopes to hear more that week, but still instructed us to hold our dates for the home study. The news leaves us optimistic. Please keep this situation in your prayers - please pray specifically that our social worker will receive sufficient accreditation to perform the home study on September 3-5, as scheduled.
The Trip Home
Our move to Puxi is costing Uncle H-- a few more pennies than they had planned for us this month, so we will not purchase our tickets home until the new fiscal year begins in October. But our plans are roughly as follows:
December 18th or so - Fly from Shanghai to Chicago and stay with Dave's family.
December 28th or so - Drive from Chicago to St. Louis to stay with Lynne's family.
January 3rd or so - Dave will fly from St. Louis to Shanghai, to embark on 3 weeks of bachelorhood.
Somewhere in here the girls and I hope to make a roadtrip to Kansas City. RFP for lodging is prepared. Any bids?
January 21st or so - Dave will return to St. Louis from Shanghai. He will enjoy a few days in St. Louis with us, and then our family will drive to Chicago for a few days again with his family.
January 30th - We expect to fly from Chicago to Shanghai, landing on Sunday the 31st. L--'s school resumes after the holiday break on Wednesday, so that will allow her a few days to catch her breathe and resume her normal sleep schedule before returning to school.
We look forward to spending so much time with our family and so many of our friends!
The Move
I looked at apartments in Puxi this morning, and toured one that I liked very much. Upon deciding to move to Puxi, I knew that I would be leaving a wonderful complex. It comes as no surprise that our new complex will not be as green or as pretty as our current home. That said, our new apartment will be a better place for us. Although our current home is nicely decorated and feels quite homey, this new apartment has a better layout, a wonderful kitchen and two great bathrooms. Plus loads more space - enough to house little Mei Mei when she arrives, God willing.
The landlord showed us the apartment, and was very gracious and helpful. She was open to purchasing new furniture where we need it, and to providing a reasonable budget for the purchase. She was open to allowing us to move in on a tight schedule - we should be able to sleep in the new apartment the night before L--'s first day of school - August 25th.
The Adoption
The schedule of the move gave me a good excuse to call our social worker, and get an update on her accreditation. As I expected, she had delivered us no news because there is no news to deliver. She submitted all of her documentation at the beginning of July, as she told us. She has heard nothing since, and expects to hear nothing more until August 24th and the completion of the Olympics. The U.S. Embassy in China and the U.S. State Department are responsible for coordinating this change in her accreditation status, and both are no doubt frantically busy with the Olympics. She hopes to hear more that week, but still instructed us to hold our dates for the home study. The news leaves us optimistic. Please keep this situation in your prayers - please pray specifically that our social worker will receive sufficient accreditation to perform the home study on September 3-5, as scheduled.
The Trip Home
Our move to Puxi is costing Uncle H-- a few more pennies than they had planned for us this month, so we will not purchase our tickets home until the new fiscal year begins in October. But our plans are roughly as follows:
December 18th or so - Fly from Shanghai to Chicago and stay with Dave's family.
December 28th or so - Drive from Chicago to St. Louis to stay with Lynne's family.
January 3rd or so - Dave will fly from St. Louis to Shanghai, to embark on 3 weeks of bachelorhood.
Somewhere in here the girls and I hope to make a roadtrip to Kansas City. RFP for lodging is prepared. Any bids?
January 21st or so - Dave will return to St. Louis from Shanghai. He will enjoy a few days in St. Louis with us, and then our family will drive to Chicago for a few days again with his family.
January 30th - We expect to fly from Chicago to Shanghai, landing on Sunday the 31st. L--'s school resumes after the holiday break on Wednesday, so that will allow her a few days to catch her breathe and resume her normal sleep schedule before returning to school.
We look forward to spending so much time with our family and so many of our friends!
Sunday, August 10, 2008
Following the Rules
China loves a good rule.
Actually, it seems that China loves any rule - good or not. And the more the better.
Many Chinese people especially love the power of enforcing, or not enforcing the rules.
Our complex has two lovely ourdoor swimming pools, traced with fountains and waterfalls, bright blue water encircling large hot tubs. What would be a relaxing place to spend an evening, if it weren't for the rules.
The image above shows the gate to one of our pools. Within your limited purview, you are gazing upon 9 different signs. Each sign displays at least 1 rule. The largest sign displays 15. Precious few of these rules are ever actually enforced, which makes a cool dip much more relaxing than one might suspect.
It seems that enforcement has gone steadily downhill since the beginning of the summer. The lifeguard's favorite rule at the beginning of the summer was the swim cap rule. It may be the case that our lifeguards make a tidy profit off of the sale of swim caps, because at the beginning of the summer no one could be within the gates of the pool without a swim cap. This rule seemed ridiculous to me, and so I asked why. I advise against asking that question very often in China. They looked rather surprised, and told me that I need to wear a swim cap because that is the rule. Sure - I understood that part. But what is the rationale behind the rule? Well, because the management company says it is a rule. And that may well be the only rationale.
They did explain that the swim caps would keep our family healthy, as well as the rest of the people swimming in the pool. Then they offered that we could borrow swim caps at no charge. What, I wonder, would come off of my head and enter the pool that would make someone sick? Would that sick-making substance not make them sick if they share my same swim cap?
As the summer waned on, enforcement became lax on that rule - as many others. No one asked for our health card when we entered yesterday. In fact, no one even asked us to pay. No one asked that we wear our swim caps, either. We enjoyed a relaxing morning at the pool, until one of the lifeguards began smoking.
This is where we are rather typically American - as was pointed out by the German sitting next to us in the pool. Not only do we notice smoke rather quickly, but we are also willing to ask people to stop smoking when in our vicinity. As we did. I told the lifeguard not to smoke. He put his cigarette away. Or more specifically, he threw his still lit cigarette on the ground at his feet and let it smolder for the next 10 minutes or so. At which point, he lit another cigarette and again began smoking. This time, Dave asked him to stop. He moved about 20 meters away, but did not stop.
We looked to another lifeguard. He grinned, and pointed to our heads. Now, in my time in Shanghai I have learned ashamedly little Mandarin but my skills at charades have risen dramatically. My translation of his little move is this:
Hey, man. If you're going to tell my buddy he can't smoke, then you're going to have to put those swim caps back on all of your heads.
It was time for lunch anyway. We went home.
This morning in church, one of the elders gave a strong sermon on evangelizing. Prosyletizing is illegal in China, so this message came as a bit of a surprise. His message was good, but his examples were wonderful.
The man had come to China 11 years ago, running a Bible printing press in Beijing. Business began a bit behind schedule, and at the end of the first year there was no money for Christmas bonuses. Fresh off the boat, this man felt that a token gift of some sort was essential at Christmas and so he pulled together enough money to buy some tapes from the Chinese government.
In China, the government heavily controls the church. There are 4 sanctioned religions, and within each of those religions one must attend a state-condoned place of worship. This of course gives the state power over who preaches, what text is used and what messages are heard. The state apparently put together a cassette tape that year with classic hymns on one side, and dramatic readings of the Bible on the other. A simple but appropriate Christmas present for people making Bibles for a living, he thought.
Within a few days, the man was called for a meeting with the government.
Government: Did you distribute these tapes to your employees?
Bible Man: Yes, I did. Is there a problem?
Government: This is evangelizing. Evangelization is illegal in China.
Bible Man: But these are government tapes - published by your party.
Government: Yes, but it is possible that someone in your office but offended, or felt as if you were trying to pursuade them to join your faith.
Bible Man: It was not my intention to offend anyone. I simply wanted to provide an appropriate Christmas gift to my employees.
Government: We understand. We like you. We'll tell you - someone in your company doesn't like you, and reported you to the authorities. We recommend you do not make your employees angry, so that they will not report you to us. If you are not reported, we do not care what you do.
A love of rules, and of the power of choice enforcement.
Hey, man. If you're going to tell my buddy he can't smoke, then you're going to have to put those swim caps back on all of your heads.
The Rules
Zoom in on the largest rule sign at the pool. You've got to see some of these.
2. For the health of you and others, swimmers must shower thoroughly and step through the chemical foot cleaning water. If wearing tun-tan oil, swimmers must wash it off before swimming. No eating in the pool area.
7. No diving of jumping into the swimming pool. Must use the proper pool entrance.
11. Except for swimming aids such as rubber floating boards and goggles, swimmers may not bring into the pool any articles listed below: flippers, snorkels, facemasks, beach balls, inflatable items, water guns, etc.
And of course,
No smoking
I get a kick out of most of these because they don't enforce them. The entire pool experience is so hyper regulated that it would be exhausting for any lifeguard to enforce every rule - especially those poor tired lifeguards who already spend their time asleep in their chairs. Like the requirement for stepping through the chemical foot cleaning water? Sorry - way to creepy to us. Could be Windex - swimming pools? highly regulated / strong chemicals meant to come in contact with a young child's skin? zero regulations. And apparently way too creepy for everyone else, because I've never seen anyone set foot in those chemical baths.
But my favorite is certainly #6. The personal injury rule.
6. No admission to the pool if having skin disease, trachoma, acute conjunctivitis, AIDS, heart disease, epilepsy, mental disorder, overly drunk, filled or empty stomach, open wounds etc.
Check this out - not only do they bar drunks and people with disgusting rashes. You can't enter the pool is you have AIDS or heart disease. Those with Downs Syndrome or Depression are not allowed in the pool, apparently. And my personal favorite - they will not let you in the pool or you have either an empty or a filled stomach.
Friday, August 08, 2008
Opening Day
Our television displays nearly 100 channels. Less than ten of those stations broadcast in English. Only infrequently does one of those channels broadcast something of interest to me. Coupled with the low cost of DVDs on the street, I tend to watch television on DVD. I'm currently working my way through Ugly Betty, Season 2. In a recent show, Betty took a writing course and received instruction from her Pulitzer Prize winning teacher. Essentially, good writing requires serious drama.
A friend in Shanghai recently read my blog, and called me to discuss my depression.
In an effort to assuage all fears of my blooming depression, allow me to guide you through the Olympics' Opening Day in our family home.
The Activity Box
The Activity Box is one of our favorite places in Shanghai. This lovely children's playroom takes the place of children's museums and libraries in the states. The price comes steep - nearly $10 per child. But the new toys, the clean facility, the stairs and ramps, and the new children to interact with every time we go all make the AB well worth the price of admission.
The girls and I went this morning, and an extraordinary thing happened. Extraordinary things in our life have less to do with miracles on a grand scale. Watching my children grow and develop can be extraordinary. This morning, L-- played with a complete stranger. L-- and S-- both play independently at The Activity Box, learning how to stand up for themselves and how to share. We meet friends at The Activity Box, and the girls will interact on their own time. But never before has L-- played with a stranger. She introduced herself to him; she held conversation with him; they interacted, asked each other questions, and she asked him to join her in climbing the steps. For my shy young child, this was an extraordinary first. I felt a wave of confidence in her starting school a mere 2 weeks from now.
Chinese Valentine's Day
Our high-rise building has a rather complex buzzing system. The first doors on the ground floor will open for anyone. The second set of doors only open when a guest buzzes a resident's apartment and is allowed inside. Once past these doors, a guest must again buzz a resident to set the elevators in motion.
Someone buzzed from the doors. I didn't recognize the person, and they didn't speak English. I considered not letting them in - I don't want to be the person who allowed the serial killer access to the residents of my building. Then the man waved a paper in front of the camera. Someone this convinced, and I buzzed him in.
Ten minutes later, he had not arrived at my door. I felt a wave of guilt. Someone's apartment is being cleaned out by thieves who I allowed access to the building. Damn.
Then I heard the elevator's ding. A moment later, a man turned the corner with a large box. Out of the box he pulled a beautiful bouquet. What a thoughtful husband, to send flowers for no reason, I thought.He handed me the delivery slip. The writing on the page was primarily in Chinese, but two names were in English. My own, and the name of Dave's assistant.
What a thoughtful assistant my husband has, to send me flowers for no reason, I thought wryly.
I opened the card. A beautiful poem, rather Chinese in its imagery. It sounded nothing like Dave. And it was signed in Chinese.
I called his office, to make sure he thanked his assistant for the lovely flowers she sent. He laughed. You didn't write this poem, did you? I asked. Sure I did - what does it say?
Apparently, Thursday was Chinese Valentine's Day. His female co-workers gave him a hard time for not sending me flowers on Valentine's Day, and so his assistant offered to take care of it a day later. A few strikes against Dave's supposed romanticism, but I've still got a lovely vase of flowers on my table, a sweet husband, and two Valentine's Days in 1 year. I can hardly complain.
Fixing Dinner
It seems that my little girls are growing up.
When I first learned I was pregnant with S--, L-- was only 7 months old. Other women assured me that although the first year would be really hard, having children so close together would prove to be a blessing as they got older.
It seems that the girls are growing older. I fixed a large dinner, planning to deliver half to a family whose second child was born on Saturday. Dinner included main course, vegetable and desert and took over 2 hours to prepare. For nearly that entire time, the girls entertained themselves in their room with nearly no supervision. Another first! Complemented by meeting a 5 day old little boy, it made for a lovely evening.
The Opening Ceremonies
China's coming out party, the Olympics officially opened. Our family gathered on the couch, the girls already wearing their jammies and feeling snuggly. We watched the dancers in real time, with explanation in Chinese. The Bird's Nest looked extraordinary; the guests looked captivated; the dancers were beautiful and no doubt more impressive in person. And the fireworks filled the entire city. The girls loved the spectacle, and watching live in China made us feel proud of our adopted home.
It was a good day.
Thursday, August 07, 2008
Feeling Good?
I've used my poor internet connection as an excuse to stay distant from voicing my feelings about this move.
To my defense, the internet connection is quite poor. The Great China Firewall blocks all computers accessing the internet within China from reaching any material which may be inflammatory. We can never open Wikipedia. Often I can not read my own blog. So we purchased a personal VPN - that is, our personal computer now accesses the internet from somewhere outside of China. I'm not sure how it works, but I know that it does. When our VPN is turned on, I can read about the riots on Tiananmen Square. But also when our VPN is turned on, our computer runs slow. This week, it ran very slow.
Today, both my internet connection and myself are feeling full of energy and ready to go.
This move to Puxi is not big news. We dealt with this move months ago. I did not want to move, and brainstormed every good reason to go. The list of pros is long, and that list has been running through my head all week:
+ L-- can attend a wonderful school.
+ Neither child will mind moving; both adapt quickly to new surroundings.
+ We're staying in town, so I won't be starting over on friends.
+ We know how the expat social systems work, and will make friends quickly.
+ We'll live near the church we like, and likely will be able to attend regularly.
+ We'll live in a much more interesting part of town, with new parks and alleys to explore and loads of new restaurants to try.
+ Dave's commute should drop dramatically.
I know all of this.
I know that we will all be fine.
As an added bonus, we are expecting loads of guests. Over the next 7 weeks, we expect to host 4 different groups of people - with 8 people cycling through our home until the October holiday. Between moving, hosting frequent guests, and settling L-- into school I know that these next two months will fly by.
The more I let the move settle into my bones, the more comfortable I become. I bathe the girls, crouched in our small bathroom, and I think Maybe our new home will have a larger bathroom - maybe even two bathrooms, where the girls can keep their toys out of my Master tub! I pick up lunch at the grocery store, and I think Soon we'll be shopping at a new grocery store. It'll be fun to have all new options for lunch!
I know that the move is for the best, and I know that I will be happy there.
Still, I know that I am happy here. And although I usually enjoy moving and eagerly anticipate major change, this one leaves me unsettled. It took a long time to become comfortable here. To figure how things work and who to talk to. I'm not ready to start over.
I've got friends here. I've got a large circle of friends. All of them live within walking distance of my home. Some of them live a quick elevator ride away. I've got people I can share dinner with when Dave's working late. I've got people I can meet up with when S--'s been screaming. I've got babysitters and substitute ayis. I've got a support group, possibly larger than I had in St. Louis.
I've got a home here. I like our apartment. I like the size - just enough space, with each inch put to practical use. But with no real need for more. If I can't find a place for it, I probably don't need it and plenty of things leave our house for just that reason. I like the view - I look out from my desk and stare at the Oriental Pearl Tower. I sit on the balcony off of my bedroom and see the boats floating slowly by on the river. I like the decor - for a furnished apartment, this space feels homey. Chinese taste in furniture runs toward gaudy, with large furniture in dark colors trimmed with gold and baroque finishes. The spectrum of furnished apartments runs from fully Chinese to fully Ikea, with low quality furniture in bright colors not quite filling the space. But our home came well decorated, with comfortable furniture, tasteful decorations and a color scheme which would work in my home in the states. I like the complex - I now realize that we live in the nicest complex in Shanghai. I do not say that lightly. The units may not be the nicest and the management may not be the best, but the complex amenities win any contest. We have three swimming pools and three splashing fountains within our complex. We have 3 playgrounds within our complex, one with sand - our children's personal favorite. We have 2 large barbeque pits, which we've found perfect for evenings with friends. And we have green space. Loads of green space - more green space than any other complex I've seen. Further, our green space isn't infinitely planted and manicured. We have lawns where kids are free to run, kick soccer balls, have picnics - simply green space.
Don't say it - I know. My friends will remain my friends. I will make more friends, and my current friends will leave town. I will find a new home, and it will feel comfortable as well. Sure. I know. My mind knows that this move is for the best.
My heart still yearns to stay home.
To my defense, the internet connection is quite poor. The Great China Firewall blocks all computers accessing the internet within China from reaching any material which may be inflammatory. We can never open Wikipedia. Often I can not read my own blog. So we purchased a personal VPN - that is, our personal computer now accesses the internet from somewhere outside of China. I'm not sure how it works, but I know that it does. When our VPN is turned on, I can read about the riots on Tiananmen Square. But also when our VPN is turned on, our computer runs slow. This week, it ran very slow.
Today, both my internet connection and myself are feeling full of energy and ready to go.
This move to Puxi is not big news. We dealt with this move months ago. I did not want to move, and brainstormed every good reason to go. The list of pros is long, and that list has been running through my head all week:
+ L-- can attend a wonderful school.
+ Neither child will mind moving; both adapt quickly to new surroundings.
+ We're staying in town, so I won't be starting over on friends.
+ We know how the expat social systems work, and will make friends quickly.
+ We'll live near the church we like, and likely will be able to attend regularly.
+ We'll live in a much more interesting part of town, with new parks and alleys to explore and loads of new restaurants to try.
+ Dave's commute should drop dramatically.
I know all of this.
I know that we will all be fine.
As an added bonus, we are expecting loads of guests. Over the next 7 weeks, we expect to host 4 different groups of people - with 8 people cycling through our home until the October holiday. Between moving, hosting frequent guests, and settling L-- into school I know that these next two months will fly by.
The more I let the move settle into my bones, the more comfortable I become. I bathe the girls, crouched in our small bathroom, and I think Maybe our new home will have a larger bathroom - maybe even two bathrooms, where the girls can keep their toys out of my Master tub! I pick up lunch at the grocery store, and I think Soon we'll be shopping at a new grocery store. It'll be fun to have all new options for lunch!
I know that the move is for the best, and I know that I will be happy there.
Still, I know that I am happy here. And although I usually enjoy moving and eagerly anticipate major change, this one leaves me unsettled. It took a long time to become comfortable here. To figure how things work and who to talk to. I'm not ready to start over.
I've got friends here. I've got a large circle of friends. All of them live within walking distance of my home. Some of them live a quick elevator ride away. I've got people I can share dinner with when Dave's working late. I've got people I can meet up with when S--'s been screaming. I've got babysitters and substitute ayis. I've got a support group, possibly larger than I had in St. Louis.
I've got a home here. I like our apartment. I like the size - just enough space, with each inch put to practical use. But with no real need for more. If I can't find a place for it, I probably don't need it and plenty of things leave our house for just that reason. I like the view - I look out from my desk and stare at the Oriental Pearl Tower. I sit on the balcony off of my bedroom and see the boats floating slowly by on the river. I like the decor - for a furnished apartment, this space feels homey. Chinese taste in furniture runs toward gaudy, with large furniture in dark colors trimmed with gold and baroque finishes. The spectrum of furnished apartments runs from fully Chinese to fully Ikea, with low quality furniture in bright colors not quite filling the space. But our home came well decorated, with comfortable furniture, tasteful decorations and a color scheme which would work in my home in the states. I like the complex - I now realize that we live in the nicest complex in Shanghai. I do not say that lightly. The units may not be the nicest and the management may not be the best, but the complex amenities win any contest. We have three swimming pools and three splashing fountains within our complex. We have 3 playgrounds within our complex, one with sand - our children's personal favorite. We have 2 large barbeque pits, which we've found perfect for evenings with friends. And we have green space. Loads of green space - more green space than any other complex I've seen. Further, our green space isn't infinitely planted and manicured. We have lawns where kids are free to run, kick soccer balls, have picnics - simply green space.
Don't say it - I know. My friends will remain my friends. I will make more friends, and my current friends will leave town. I will find a new home, and it will feel comfortable as well. Sure. I know. My mind knows that this move is for the best.
My heart still yearns to stay home.
Wednesday, August 06, 2008
Guest Blog: State of Mind
Lynne has been having difficulty with her internet connection, so I will give a brief reaction to the questions about our satisfaction level.
First, it's good to at least know. That said, there are some definite positves and definite negatives about the result:
Pros:
- More likely to be able to adopt a baby with more time living in China.
- The chance to live in a new, exciting part of town.
- L-- (and maybe S-- eventually) gets to attend the Wonder Center, a school we are very excited about.
- More time to explore China - there's a lot left to see.
Cons:
- We have to very quickly leave our current life - even though it's just across the river, anyone who has lived in a "bridge/tunnel" town (San Fran, St. Louis, New York, etc.) knows how dramatic the barrier can be - we will definitely be a lot less close to a lot of the current support system.
- The quick move also likely means less chance of getting the perfect apartment at the right price.
- We had started to assume we were moving and begun to decide we really wanted to leave China. I think this will turn around as we get used to the thought of staying.
On the job front, it's basically "see how it goes" - I wasn't sure exactly how the Singapore position would have worked out, and I'm not exactly sure how it will work out here. I do know that I really like everyone I work with here so it is great to get more time with them (if they don't all quit!).
Lynne will put this all into much more readable verbiage eventually, but that's the crux right now. On balance: we are ok in our heads, but the hearts are struggling with "leaving" all our friends on this side of the Huangpu.
First, it's good to at least know. That said, there are some definite positves and definite negatives about the result:
Pros:
- More likely to be able to adopt a baby with more time living in China.
- The chance to live in a new, exciting part of town.
- L-- (and maybe S-- eventually) gets to attend the Wonder Center, a school we are very excited about.
- More time to explore China - there's a lot left to see.
Cons:
- We have to very quickly leave our current life - even though it's just across the river, anyone who has lived in a "bridge/tunnel" town (San Fran, St. Louis, New York, etc.) knows how dramatic the barrier can be - we will definitely be a lot less close to a lot of the current support system.
- The quick move also likely means less chance of getting the perfect apartment at the right price.
- We had started to assume we were moving and begun to decide we really wanted to leave China. I think this will turn around as we get used to the thought of staying.
On the job front, it's basically "see how it goes" - I wasn't sure exactly how the Singapore position would have worked out, and I'm not exactly sure how it will work out here. I do know that I really like everyone I work with here so it is great to get more time with them (if they don't all quit!).
Lynne will put this all into much more readable verbiage eventually, but that's the crux right now. On balance: we are ok in our heads, but the hearts are struggling with "leaving" all our friends on this side of the Huangpu.
Monday, August 04, 2008
Pack Your Bags
We're moving to Shanghai!
The decision has been made.
Singapore has been removed from the table.
We will be in Shanghai for another 1-2 years.
L-- will start school at The Wonder Center in Puxi on August 21st.
It will be my mission to move into a new home as near to that date as possible. Can we facilitate an across-town move in under 17 days? Stay tuned!
The decision has been made.
Singapore has been removed from the table.
We will be in Shanghai for another 1-2 years.
L-- will start school at The Wonder Center in Puxi on August 21st.
It will be my mission to move into a new home as near to that date as possible. Can we facilitate an across-town move in under 17 days? Stay tuned!
Friday, August 01, 2008
Nearly There
Dave is a talking point on the agenda for today's meetings with all of the aforementioned bosses.
Uncle H-- will make a decision today on Singapore.
Will post when I have news.
* Postscript - See Dave's comment below
Uncle H-- will make a decision today on Singapore.
Will post when I have news.
* Postscript - See Dave's comment below
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)