Only a few short months into his career in China, and already Dave is running everything.
I'm not kidding.
The person who ran Dave's department for all of China resigned a few weeks ago, and Dave was named as her replacement. Quite an honor, really, to jump to the top of the office hierarchy within a few weeks. And Dave seems quite happy, enjoying his responsibilities and determining much of his own focus.
The downside is that Dave feels more pressure to work long hours and do his very best. This pressure now comes from within him, which makes him happier. But it still keeps him away from home long hours. We're becoming a family that does not eat dinner together every night, which makes us both sad.
Thursday, November 29, 2007
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
Taking Candy from Strangers
I'm getting into a van with two strange men.
I texted to Dave.
But why worry him, I thought. I cancelled the text message.
This as I rode in a van with two strange men.
Folks with vans seem to have IKEA figured out. They do their shopping, and then offer someone a ride home. They charge roughly double what a taxi would charge, but you have to take it because you can't get a taxi. First, you're probably so heavy laden that you wouldn't fit in a taxi alongside your purchases. Second, IKEA's parking lot is so arranged that you can't take your shopping cart away from the front door. If you can't carry your purchase a long block to the street, you can't get a taxi.
All of this is a boon for the friend-with-a-truck.
This is the week of IKEA for me, and I've ridden with these friends twice. Last night, his friend had bunk beds. They sat in the front of the van singing and laughing the whole way home - about a 40 minute drive. Tonight, the friend had a chair, shelves and a large empty box. And they expected me to sit in the front seat with them. There were only bucket seats. I walked away, so they set up the back seat and broke down their empty box.
Last night, I thought I was negotiating with a taxi driver. Tonight, I knew better.
Last night, the driver and his friend were both very helpful, picking up my furniture, gathering my tax receipt and pushing my carts. Tonight, no such luck.
Last night, they had a seat prepared for me in the car. Tonight, I had to fight for it.
Still, I made it home both times, safe and sound. And I suppose I ought not complain about the price, either. I paid about $10 for a 40 minute ride at 10:00 at night, plus delivery of my plates, pillows and comforters.
I texted to Dave.
But why worry him, I thought. I cancelled the text message.
This as I rode in a van with two strange men.
Folks with vans seem to have IKEA figured out. They do their shopping, and then offer someone a ride home. They charge roughly double what a taxi would charge, but you have to take it because you can't get a taxi. First, you're probably so heavy laden that you wouldn't fit in a taxi alongside your purchases. Second, IKEA's parking lot is so arranged that you can't take your shopping cart away from the front door. If you can't carry your purchase a long block to the street, you can't get a taxi.
All of this is a boon for the friend-with-a-truck.
This is the week of IKEA for me, and I've ridden with these friends twice. Last night, his friend had bunk beds. They sat in the front of the van singing and laughing the whole way home - about a 40 minute drive. Tonight, the friend had a chair, shelves and a large empty box. And they expected me to sit in the front seat with them. There were only bucket seats. I walked away, so they set up the back seat and broke down their empty box.
Last night, I thought I was negotiating with a taxi driver. Tonight, I knew better.
Last night, the driver and his friend were both very helpful, picking up my furniture, gathering my tax receipt and pushing my carts. Tonight, no such luck.
Last night, they had a seat prepared for me in the car. Tonight, I had to fight for it.
Still, I made it home both times, safe and sound. And I suppose I ought not complain about the price, either. I paid about $10 for a 40 minute ride at 10:00 at night, plus delivery of my plates, pillows and comforters.
The Hiring Process, part 3
It's a hit, and we're holding on 1st.
Ayi Jen came over on Monday evening while I fixed dinner for the girls. She played with S--, who loved her. She interacted with L--, who did not run away screaming. These are both good signs. As I finished dinner, she kept both girls happy and occupied. As the girls were occupied, she pick up the living room.
I hired her on the spot.
She starts December 17th.
I suppose its still possible that she'll turn out to be a dud, so we won't call it a homerun yet. We'll be running the bases for a few weeks making sure that she's a good fit. But I feel really good about her. I like her, and she kept herself very busy the whole time she was here. She speaks very little English, and the Chinese she speaks fluently is not the Chinese that I'm learning. But she reads well, and the internet is full of translation vehicles.
Ayi Jen came over on Monday evening while I fixed dinner for the girls. She played with S--, who loved her. She interacted with L--, who did not run away screaming. These are both good signs. As I finished dinner, she kept both girls happy and occupied. As the girls were occupied, she pick up the living room.
I hired her on the spot.
She starts December 17th.
I suppose its still possible that she'll turn out to be a dud, so we won't call it a homerun yet. We'll be running the bases for a few weeks making sure that she's a good fit. But I feel really good about her. I like her, and she kept herself very busy the whole time she was here. She speaks very little English, and the Chinese she speaks fluently is not the Chinese that I'm learning. But she reads well, and the internet is full of translation vehicles.
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
The Wallet Code
Everyone taxis in Shanghai.
They're plentiful at any hour, quick, direct, and affordable. A ride on the Metro costs less, but also brings you mighty close to many strangers and cheats you of the view that matches your travel. Taxiing lets you ride in relative comfort, getting to know the city and its twists and turns as you go. Without children, a taxi is the preferred way to get around town.
And everyone has left their wallet in a taxi, at least once.
Many people have amazing stories. One woman was dropped at a school for a meeting. She didn't even realize her wallet was gone, and went straight inside and to her conference room. The cab driver returned with her wallet, peeked into the windows, and found his way into the room where she sat.
We took a family outing via taxi on Saturday night. These are always fraught with difficulty, and this evening was no different. Both girls were screaming, rolling all over the seats, falling out the doors and altogether ready to be rid of the taxi by the time we reached our destination. We quickly fell out the doors, paid the driver and ran into the house where we met our church group for a potluck dinner.
Within 5 minutes, Dave ran past me saying We've got a problem. Then he disappeared for about 20 minutes.
I've advised him never to do this again, as my imagination went wild with these 4 words.
As you've all imagined, Dave set his wallet on top of the taxi to pay the driver. He never removed it. He walked up and down the roads outside the home, and then enlisted the help of our host to walk the roads again. Coming up short, they sat down to dinner. We discussed the implications of losing his driver's license and how much money was in the wallet.
The doorbell rang.
The taxi driver found the wallet and had driven back to return it. He asked no reward. Only pilfered the cash inside the wallet before ringing the bell.
Apparently, this is the code. Taxi drivers always do their very best to return anything of value left in their car. Just don't expect any spending money upon your receipt.
They're plentiful at any hour, quick, direct, and affordable. A ride on the Metro costs less, but also brings you mighty close to many strangers and cheats you of the view that matches your travel. Taxiing lets you ride in relative comfort, getting to know the city and its twists and turns as you go. Without children, a taxi is the preferred way to get around town.
And everyone has left their wallet in a taxi, at least once.
Many people have amazing stories. One woman was dropped at a school for a meeting. She didn't even realize her wallet was gone, and went straight inside and to her conference room. The cab driver returned with her wallet, peeked into the windows, and found his way into the room where she sat.
We took a family outing via taxi on Saturday night. These are always fraught with difficulty, and this evening was no different. Both girls were screaming, rolling all over the seats, falling out the doors and altogether ready to be rid of the taxi by the time we reached our destination. We quickly fell out the doors, paid the driver and ran into the house where we met our church group for a potluck dinner.
Within 5 minutes, Dave ran past me saying We've got a problem. Then he disappeared for about 20 minutes.
I've advised him never to do this again, as my imagination went wild with these 4 words.
As you've all imagined, Dave set his wallet on top of the taxi to pay the driver. He never removed it. He walked up and down the roads outside the home, and then enlisted the help of our host to walk the roads again. Coming up short, they sat down to dinner. We discussed the implications of losing his driver's license and how much money was in the wallet.
The doorbell rang.
The taxi driver found the wallet and had driven back to return it. He asked no reward. Only pilfered the cash inside the wallet before ringing the bell.
Apparently, this is the code. Taxi drivers always do their very best to return anything of value left in their car. Just don't expect any spending money upon your receipt.
Our Home
The weekend saw us all over town.
This photo is taken with the front door and the kitchen door at my back. To the left, between the Living Room and the Dining Room, a hallway leads to the bedrooms. The balcony behind the tree faces the Pearl Tower. Its a nice size and well furnished and we feel quite at home within our walls.
On Saturday, we rode up the Oriental Pearl Tower for amazing views of the city. As we are able to see the Pearl Tower from our windows, likewise we were able to see our home from the windows of the Pearl Tower. The Pearl Tower is L--'s favorite landmark, and she was amazed at being inside of it. She talks about riding the elevator in the Pearl Tower every day now. And it was well worth the price tag - especially on a clear day, as Saturday was. Add it to your To Do List when you visit.
On Sunday, we bought a Christmas tree (delivered straight to our house), attended a Christmas Fair for stockings, stocking stuffers and grilled burgers - the weather was in the high 70s. During naptime, we popped in the festive music and decorated our new home.
Our camera accompanied us on this festive weekend, allowing you a better idea of where we live.
This photo is taken with the front door and the kitchen door at my back. To the left, between the Living Room and the Dining Room, a hallway leads to the bedrooms. The balcony behind the tree faces the Pearl Tower. Its a nice size and well furnished and we feel quite at home within our walls.Thursday, November 22, 2007
A Shanghai Thanksgiving
Thanksgiving treated me to two feasts, and Dave as well. We each went out to Chinese food, Dave with his co-workers and I with my language class. We feasted on Cantonese food with various dumplings, pork, mixed vegetables and fish dishes. The food tasted wonderful and I enjoyed the company. I learned a few new words during the class, but mainly got to know my classmates and teacher.
This evening we had reservations at a diner - the quintessential American restaurant. Dave arrived home late, so we arrived at the restaurant late accompanied by two hungry and rather grumpy girls. They served a sub-par turkey dinner which we ate quickly to avoid babies losing patience. We learned that S-- likes beets and pumpkin pie. We were reminded that L-- can eat an entire piece of chocolate cake no matter how full she may otherwise be.
I went into it rather excited about celebrating Thanksgiving in a new way. And although I enjoyed my Chinese meal this noon, the supper felt like any other rushed dinner out where the girls were overhungry and the food was average. It only served to remind me that Thanksgiving is less about the food and more about the company. We miss you all today.
As we go to bed tonight, you'll be rising to cook your feasts. Happy Thanksgiving!
This evening we had reservations at a diner - the quintessential American restaurant. Dave arrived home late, so we arrived at the restaurant late accompanied by two hungry and rather grumpy girls. They served a sub-par turkey dinner which we ate quickly to avoid babies losing patience. We learned that S-- likes beets and pumpkin pie. We were reminded that L-- can eat an entire piece of chocolate cake no matter how full she may otherwise be.I went into it rather excited about celebrating Thanksgiving in a new way. And although I enjoyed my Chinese meal this noon, the supper felt like any other rushed dinner out where the girls were overhungry and the food was average. It only served to remind me that Thanksgiving is less about the food and more about the company. We miss you all today.
As we go to bed tonight, you'll be rising to cook your feasts. Happy Thanksgiving!
L--'s post
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Turn It Off
Turn it off.
She had only been napping for half an hour. We usually get at least one-and-a-half hours of solid sleep in the afternoon, if not two. She must be talking in her sleep - its way too early for her to wake up.
Turn it off.
Her groggy voice sounded again. There was definitely a problem.
I went into her room.
Turn it off,
she said again. Turn what off? I asked.
Bang, bang.
Shanghai may be the world's largest construction site. We've heard that the majority of Caterpillar's cranes stand in Shanghai, and I believe it. We can see four out our window. Some times crews work 24-hours a day. I've read that a new Chinese law imposes timing limits, and that construction should cease from 10:00pm until 6:00am. This law rarely seems enforced.
They're pretty constantly working on the road outside our building. No one seems to know what they're doing. They're a large hole in the road - large, like double the size of an average American backyard. A crane raises and lowers large pieces of metal and machinery through the hole. They could be building a new metro line or a tunnel, but no one knows of plans for either.
The workers run welders, drop large pipes and blow whistles relentlessly. I feel new sympathy for the houses surrounding our high school marching band's practice field.
She had only been napping for half an hour. We usually get at least one-and-a-half hours of solid sleep in the afternoon, if not two. She must be talking in her sleep - its way too early for her to wake up.
Turn it off.
Her groggy voice sounded again. There was definitely a problem.
I went into her room.
Turn it off,
she said again. Turn what off? I asked.
Bang, bang.
Shanghai may be the world's largest construction site. We've heard that the majority of Caterpillar's cranes stand in Shanghai, and I believe it. We can see four out our window. Some times crews work 24-hours a day. I've read that a new Chinese law imposes timing limits, and that construction should cease from 10:00pm until 6:00am. This law rarely seems enforced.
They're pretty constantly working on the road outside our building. No one seems to know what they're doing. They're a large hole in the road - large, like double the size of an average American backyard. A crane raises and lowers large pieces of metal and machinery through the hole. They could be building a new metro line or a tunnel, but no one knows of plans for either.
The workers run welders, drop large pipes and blow whistles relentlessly. I feel new sympathy for the houses surrounding our high school marching band's practice field.
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
The Hiring Process, part 2
Strike 1 - I was disappointed in the ayi I met on Friday.
Ball 1 - The friend-of-a-friend ayi is not available right now.
At bat - My language teacher's ayi.
Ayi Jen will come over on Monday evening and spend a few hours with our girls. She works 2 mornings a week for my language teacher, and full-time for a Norwegian-British family with 3 children. They return to Europe at the end of the month, and Ayi Jen needs a new family.
Amusingly, I had convinced myself to quit my language class this afternoon. I don't study enough. I can't pronounce or differentiate the tones. I never remember the vocabulary. And if that weren't enough, the teacher is pretty crummy. She's drilled how to say "I'd like a glass of red wine," and "I'd like a bottle of beer," into me but only once discussed how to count to ten. It felt like a complete waste of time, and I felt like a total failure. I was done.
Until the phone rang, and my teacher wanted to introduce me to her ayi. How can I quit her class when she may provide me with a fabulous helper?
So I'm sticking. And I'm conducting interview #2 with ayi #3 on Monday evening.
Ball 1 - The friend-of-a-friend ayi is not available right now.
At bat - My language teacher's ayi.
Ayi Jen will come over on Monday evening and spend a few hours with our girls. She works 2 mornings a week for my language teacher, and full-time for a Norwegian-British family with 3 children. They return to Europe at the end of the month, and Ayi Jen needs a new family.
Amusingly, I had convinced myself to quit my language class this afternoon. I don't study enough. I can't pronounce or differentiate the tones. I never remember the vocabulary. And if that weren't enough, the teacher is pretty crummy. She's drilled how to say "I'd like a glass of red wine," and "I'd like a bottle of beer," into me but only once discussed how to count to ten. It felt like a complete waste of time, and I felt like a total failure. I was done.
Until the phone rang, and my teacher wanted to introduce me to her ayi. How can I quit her class when she may provide me with a fabulous helper?
So I'm sticking. And I'm conducting interview #2 with ayi #3 on Monday evening.
Monday, November 19, 2007
english
I've got to share the good news:
I just found the language button on the blogger administrative page - I can now tell exactly what I'm doing! You now have the right to expect changes to more than the content.
Gosh, I'm really figuring this China thing out, aren't I?
I just found the language button on the blogger administrative page - I can now tell exactly what I'm doing! You now have the right to expect changes to more than the content.
Gosh, I'm really figuring this China thing out, aren't I?
A Good China Weekend
I’m a short story reader. Not just short stories. I like essays, stories, travel writing, anything that can be published in a magazine. I mean, a good novel certainly has its place. But if I can finish it in under half an hour, its even better. And if writing can deliver its punch in under two minutes, I’m loving it.
I read a piece on A Prairie Home Companion’s website about attending a friend’s funeral. Long before she died, the friend had left a phone message for herself – a bit of a pep talk. They played it at the funeral. All of this is good stuff for a story, but the pep talk really punched me in the gut. Her talk ended with,
"When you think about it, life is not all that bad. You've just got to get a routine going, and when things pop up, take a deep breath, maybe two, and you'll be okay. That's all."
Life here is getting much easier as I’m getting a routine going. But I need to work on those deep breaths. Because she was right, wasn’t she? That is all.
Take a few deep breaths. Turn on some good music. Watch your kids smile.
Everything really will be okay.
I read a piece on A Prairie Home Companion’s website about attending a friend’s funeral. Long before she died, the friend had left a phone message for herself – a bit of a pep talk. They played it at the funeral. All of this is good stuff for a story, but the pep talk really punched me in the gut. Her talk ended with,
"When you think about it, life is not all that bad. You've just got to get a routine going, and when things pop up, take a deep breath, maybe two, and you'll be okay. That's all."
Life here is getting much easier as I’m getting a routine going. But I need to work on those deep breaths. Because she was right, wasn’t she? That is all.
Take a few deep breaths. Turn on some good music. Watch your kids smile.
Everything really will be okay.
A Real Date
Dave and I enjoyed an evening without children for the first time since we came to Shanghai. The babysitters arrived just after L—and S—finished their dinner, and enjoyed a fun few hours of playtime and movie watching while Dave and I hit the town.
Still newcomers, we headed toward the tourist haunts. We first jumped a cab to the old city. Across the river, but otherwise quite near to our home, the cab ride only took 10 minutes. On a misty November evening, this tourist attraction was rather quiet. The old city itself is a large area where the buildings look traditionally Chinese and markets and corner food stalls abound. But at the center of the old town, encircling a traditional Chinese garden (Yu Garden) is the Temple of the City God. During the cultural revolution, this temple became a market and has remained a beautiful tourist attraction. The eaves of this classical architecture were strung with white lights, making the entire place resemble the Kansas City Plaza at Christmas and lending a festive air to the dreary evening. Streets surround this portion of town, but within the temple you walk along alleys and through open-air buildings and markets. The shops cater to tourists, selling uniquely Chinese items at above-market prices and were lovely for window shopping. The undisputed home of Shanghai’s best steamed buns lies smack in the center of the bazaar, and we indulged. We agree – these are by far the best buns we’ve had anywhere. Our promise - all visitors will be taken at least once!
On to dinner, we headed toward a restaurant to dine on the ubiquitous hairy crab. Grown in the rivers surrounding Shanghai, these fresh water crabs are the local food in Shanghai, and raved about on most food websites. Most hotels host “hairy crab extravaganzas,” featuring unlimited seafood and crab. Restaurants tout having the best, the freshest, the largest hairy crabs in the city. So I find it amazing that we were unable to get any for dinner. Upon a recommendation, we went to a restaurant where we were the only Westerners. We felt quite proud of ourselves, until we were unable to understand our waitress and why she told us we could not have the crab we pointed to. And we never received the crab she pointed to. So we ate a lovely meal of crab fried rice and crab wrapped shrimp, and since we were both a bit afraid of tearing apart these little crustaceans for our meal, we’re going to count that as our hairy crab experience and be done with it.
The rest of the evening we spent walking in the damp autumn air, snuggled in our coats, watching the lights and the streams people. We explored a bookstore, toured a small museum, and ended up on the sidewalk outside a coffee house where we finished our evening with steaming mugs of vanilla flavored steamed milk.
The Happy Hosts
Our family played host to Dave’s coworkers this weekend for a chili dinner. Initially meant to be an American-style BBQ at the community grills, we could not effectively communicate with our management to book a grill and picnic table. So we moved inside. A better choice anyway, as the sky drizzled and the wind blew most of the day. We fixed a big pot of chili, a hot pan of homemade corn bread, and a box of brownies.
Guests arrived right on time – 11:30am. About 15 of Dave’s coworkers came, their arms loaded down with presents. They brought clothes for the girls, snacks and beer for our house, and steamed buns to add to the meal. The steamed buns were the perfect complement to hot chili, but I’ll admit that the rest of the snacks remain unopened.
They also brought two bags of ice-cream. Asian ice-cream comes in single-serve containers, and in un-American flavors like green tea (rather bland) and peanut (yum!).
Everyone seemed to enjoy the chili, and raved over the brownies. The cornbread went almost entirely untouched. So now we have plans for treating the office with batches of homemade cookies, fudge and brownies occasionally.
In retrospect, we realized that the meal we fixed was distinctly un-Asian. In a Chinese restaurant, food comes out as soon as it leaves the burner. Everyone eats family style – most tables have a large lazy susan in the center to enhance sharing. A host orders more dishes than people, and you take a few bights of everything on the table. As American hosts, we made one large pot of stew and provided a few small things on the side. People ate small servings of chili, and kept nibbling on everything else – as is their custom. Next time we’ll add more to our feast.
But we all enjoyed a lovely afternoon. S—loved the attention, Dave enjoyed spending time with his coworkers in a setting outside the office, and I asked and answered questions in a pleasant conversation. The more I settle into a routine, the less I run into local Chinese people, so these conversations were a real treat.
Sunday night we played host again, this time to Sheila and her family. Our agent has also become our neighbor and friend, and her three daughters have become L—‘s favorite people in Shanghai (2 of the 3 are the aforementioned babysitters). They came over for tacos, and we all enjoyed some lively conversation and playing with toys.
We went to bed thoroughly exhausted after all of the cooking, cleaning and entertaining. And feeling a bit more like we fit-in in our new home.
Guests arrived right on time – 11:30am. About 15 of Dave’s coworkers came, their arms loaded down with presents. They brought clothes for the girls, snacks and beer for our house, and steamed buns to add to the meal. The steamed buns were the perfect complement to hot chili, but I’ll admit that the rest of the snacks remain unopened.
They also brought two bags of ice-cream. Asian ice-cream comes in single-serve containers, and in un-American flavors like green tea (rather bland) and peanut (yum!).
Everyone seemed to enjoy the chili, and raved over the brownies. The cornbread went almost entirely untouched. So now we have plans for treating the office with batches of homemade cookies, fudge and brownies occasionally.
In retrospect, we realized that the meal we fixed was distinctly un-Asian. In a Chinese restaurant, food comes out as soon as it leaves the burner. Everyone eats family style – most tables have a large lazy susan in the center to enhance sharing. A host orders more dishes than people, and you take a few bights of everything on the table. As American hosts, we made one large pot of stew and provided a few small things on the side. People ate small servings of chili, and kept nibbling on everything else – as is their custom. Next time we’ll add more to our feast.
But we all enjoyed a lovely afternoon. S—loved the attention, Dave enjoyed spending time with his coworkers in a setting outside the office, and I asked and answered questions in a pleasant conversation. The more I settle into a routine, the less I run into local Chinese people, so these conversations were a real treat.
Sunday night we played host again, this time to Sheila and her family. Our agent has also become our neighbor and friend, and her three daughters have become L—‘s favorite people in Shanghai (2 of the 3 are the aforementioned babysitters). They came over for tacos, and we all enjoyed some lively conversation and playing with toys.
We went to bed thoroughly exhausted after all of the cooking, cleaning and entertaining. And feeling a bit more like we fit-in in our new home.
Friday, November 16, 2007
The Hiring Process, Part 1
Ayi Jenny came over this afternoon during naptime. I told her our family's needs and expectations while the girls slept. She smiled and nodded at everything I said - a possible indication that she understood very little. I was less concerned about her answers to my questions, and more interested in watching her interact with the girls.
L-- woke up first. L-- has a strong shy side, especially when tired. She watched Ayi Jenny, but would not leave my side or speak a word. Ayi Jenny didn't mind.
S-- did not rise on her own, so we all went in to wake her up. Upon seeing the sleeping S--, Ayi Jenny gasped with delight. I love babies! S-- woke up quickly, and studied Ayi Jenny intensely for quite some time. Ayi Jenny gave her the space she needed to warm up, and quickly S-- was climbing into her lap and showing her toys. Ayi Jenny played with her, spoke to her, caught her when she fell, identified the need for a new diaper, and showed clear excitement about working with her.
She only spoke to L-- when spoken to, if then. This may be alright. L-- prefers making friends on her terms, rather than someone else's. But I fear that this scenario will push L-- into being a mama's girl and take S-- out of my arms. Of course, I'm not hiring a caretaker - I'm hiring someone to clean and do my laundry. How much does her interaction with the girls matter?
I think we'll see if there are any other interested candidates. If you know anyone with expat experience who understands some English and wants full-time work, we pay 2,500 RMB per month (about $325). That's the top of the payscale, folks!
L-- woke up first. L-- has a strong shy side, especially when tired. She watched Ayi Jenny, but would not leave my side or speak a word. Ayi Jenny didn't mind.
S-- did not rise on her own, so we all went in to wake her up. Upon seeing the sleeping S--, Ayi Jenny gasped with delight. I love babies! S-- woke up quickly, and studied Ayi Jenny intensely for quite some time. Ayi Jenny gave her the space she needed to warm up, and quickly S-- was climbing into her lap and showing her toys. Ayi Jenny played with her, spoke to her, caught her when she fell, identified the need for a new diaper, and showed clear excitement about working with her.
She only spoke to L-- when spoken to, if then. This may be alright. L-- prefers making friends on her terms, rather than someone else's. But I fear that this scenario will push L-- into being a mama's girl and take S-- out of my arms. Of course, I'm not hiring a caretaker - I'm hiring someone to clean and do my laundry. How much does her interaction with the girls matter?
I think we'll see if there are any other interested candidates. If you know anyone with expat experience who understands some English and wants full-time work, we pay 2,500 RMB per month (about $325). That's the top of the payscale, folks!
The Choice of Help
I’ve gotten over my guilt and I’ve made my decision. We’re hiring an ayi. Our first candidate will be here in just under an hour. She will help me 8 hours a day, 5 days a week. I am entirely comfortable with this decision.
And with the decision made, I wonder how I ever tortured over it? When I was at home, I managed a house and two children without crying for help, I thought to myself. Why can’t I do that here, I tortured?
The answers to that question are simple:
1: Day to day life in China is more labor-intensive than in America. Going to the grocery store includes a 20 minute walk on either side. One load of laundry can take nearly all day. Veggies must be sterilized before ingested. Dishes must be washed by hand after every meal. With this schedule, we rarely have time to spend at the playground.
2: At home, I had help. My mother lived nearby. My friends swapped babysitting. I had my own car, with a backseat for storage.
3: America is a child-friendly country. The Chinese love children, but their cities are not built for them. With each of their thousands of families having only one child, there is no infrastructure for double strollers. Furthermore, Chinese custom leaves the retired grandparents to care for a child until they are 18 months or so and old enough to go to school full-time. Children are rarely taken along on everyday errands. Taxis do not have seat belts, let alone car seats. Grocery stores have stairs and no elevators. Sidewalks have high curbs but no ramps. The ADA would shut nearly every business down.
4: And let's be honest - I cried plenty because I couldn't manage a house, a yard, and 2 babies.
But enough of this documenting that a mother in a foreign country needs help. It is beside the point – the real question is, when did the choice to be my child’s primary caretaker become the choice to spend all of my waking (and sleeping) hours cooking for her, cleaning up after her and folding her laundry? The disdain for working mothers is more understandable, although no more justified. But why do American mothers feel they must choose between raising their children and caring for themselves? Of course I realize that few mothers in America have the choice of help. Fair enough - neither did I. But what of this guilt once I did have the option?
I’m now keen on the ayi movement. Shame its not an option for most middle-class women in the states. But as I have the choice, I will hire help. I will spend my time on pursuits inside and outside of my home. I will focus my energies on enjoying my children rather than cleaning up after them. And I probably will have a hard time returning to the states and my ayi-less life.
Monday, November 12, 2007
Cohabitation
Dave has never had his own room. One of 5 children, with both an older and a younger brother, Dave went from sleeping in the boys' room at home, to the dorms in college, straight to the marital bed. He's never had a space purely his own, and he thinks it made him who he is today. Laid back, generous and able to sleep through anything.
As the only girl, I always had my own room. I've always been able to close the door and keep my brothers out. I never had to listen to anyone snoring, or deal with lights going on and off while I slept. And Dave thinks it made me who I am today. Snotty, stubborn, and a very bad roommate.
And so our girls share a room.
I've given in, but I'll admit I'm not on board. I'm just waiting for the grand experiment to fail.
We're still in the trial stages. But so far, S-- has stopped sleeping through the night and they've both skipped more naps than I care to contemplate.
We have a 3-bedroom apartment, so they could have their own rooms. But we highly value keeping a guest room (hint, hint). Plus, their room looks mighty cute with their two little cribs in their opposite corners.
So sometimes poor S-- camps out in the guest room.
I'm still doubtful that this is a good idea.
As the only girl, I always had my own room. I've always been able to close the door and keep my brothers out. I never had to listen to anyone snoring, or deal with lights going on and off while I slept. And Dave thinks it made me who I am today. Snotty, stubborn, and a very bad roommate.
And so our girls share a room.
I've given in, but I'll admit I'm not on board. I'm just waiting for the grand experiment to fail.
We're still in the trial stages. But so far, S-- has stopped sleeping through the night and they've both skipped more naps than I care to contemplate.
We have a 3-bedroom apartment, so they could have their own rooms. But we highly value keeping a guest room (hint, hint). Plus, their room looks mighty cute with their two little cribs in their opposite corners.
So sometimes poor S-- camps out in the guest room.
I'm still doubtful that this is a good idea.
Sunday, November 11, 2007
Homesick
I feel myself struggling with homesickness more now than ever. This surprises me - finally I have a home, and am surrounded by my things. I can cook in my own pots and pans; I can snuggle up with my own blankets; I have piles of my own books and music. I feel at home in my apartment.
And maybe that's what makes it tough. This doesn't feel like vacation anymore. This is life, and its not going to change back to the way it was.
We put together S--'s crib last week. Neither Dave nor I are particularly handy. My Dad had helped me take it apart. As Dave and I tried to remember how to reassemble it, we had plenty of fits and starts. At one point we got the entire frame put together, only to realize that we'd screwed all of the pieces on inside out. We had to take it apart and start all over. And I thought, this wouldn't happen if my Dad were here. Which is unfair, really, because my Dad can be pretty spacy. I mean, we made plenty of silly mistakes when we took it apart in the states. But with my dad, it wouldn't be so hard. If I messed up, he'd help me. If I got frustrated, he'd calmly and quietly show me that it wasn't worth the upset. And I'd get to enjoy doing something with my dad. When Dave and I made mistakes, I wasn't laughing. And there wasn't anyone there to tell me it was no big deal, and to just laugh and keep going. And I knew that he wouldn't be there for any of it - not for a long time.
My folks go by Nana and Papa to the girls. Nana and Papa read some of the girls' favorite stories onto cassetes and sent them along with us. L-- and I listened to the tape for the first time a week ago. At first, she was amazed and spent more time watching the tape player than looking at the pictures. How did Nana and Papa get in there? But then, as most things in her 2-year-old life, she just accepted it as fact and settled in to listen to the stories. And I settled in, too. It's been a very long time since I've had my parents read me a bedtime story, but their style is the same. Listening to their storytelling voices made me feel like a kid again, snuggled up with Teddy in the crook of my arm and my blue blanket tucked up to my neck. Watching the pictures instead of following along with the words. And when the tape ended, L-- and I both said Nana and Papa read stories again!
I must have expected things to get easier once we settled in. I must have expected life in a residential area to be simpler than life in a business district.
But its not. Its still life in China. I'm still buying all of my groceries at the import grocery store. It took me days to work up the courage to buy plants from the vendor on the street, or DVDs from the hawker. I went to Carrefour today - much like Wal-Mart, this is a low-price superstore selling everything a Chinese home could need. People pushed me. I had to push other people. I confused the words for left (zuo) and right (you). The instructions on the laundry detergent were all in Chinese. The fish were still swimming, the chickens still had their feet and the pigs still had their eyes. I wanted to cry. I ate a Snickers bar just to make me feel like an American.
I keep reminding myself of the concentric circles I wrote about previously - my world will get larger day by day. Soon, I'm sure I'll find I have plenty within walking distance. But right now everyday things feel so difficult, and simple things feel so overwhelming.
And maybe that's what makes it tough. This doesn't feel like vacation anymore. This is life, and its not going to change back to the way it was.
We put together S--'s crib last week. Neither Dave nor I are particularly handy. My Dad had helped me take it apart. As Dave and I tried to remember how to reassemble it, we had plenty of fits and starts. At one point we got the entire frame put together, only to realize that we'd screwed all of the pieces on inside out. We had to take it apart and start all over. And I thought, this wouldn't happen if my Dad were here. Which is unfair, really, because my Dad can be pretty spacy. I mean, we made plenty of silly mistakes when we took it apart in the states. But with my dad, it wouldn't be so hard. If I messed up, he'd help me. If I got frustrated, he'd calmly and quietly show me that it wasn't worth the upset. And I'd get to enjoy doing something with my dad. When Dave and I made mistakes, I wasn't laughing. And there wasn't anyone there to tell me it was no big deal, and to just laugh and keep going. And I knew that he wouldn't be there for any of it - not for a long time.
My folks go by Nana and Papa to the girls. Nana and Papa read some of the girls' favorite stories onto cassetes and sent them along with us. L-- and I listened to the tape for the first time a week ago. At first, she was amazed and spent more time watching the tape player than looking at the pictures. How did Nana and Papa get in there? But then, as most things in her 2-year-old life, she just accepted it as fact and settled in to listen to the stories. And I settled in, too. It's been a very long time since I've had my parents read me a bedtime story, but their style is the same. Listening to their storytelling voices made me feel like a kid again, snuggled up with Teddy in the crook of my arm and my blue blanket tucked up to my neck. Watching the pictures instead of following along with the words. And when the tape ended, L-- and I both said Nana and Papa read stories again!
I must have expected things to get easier once we settled in. I must have expected life in a residential area to be simpler than life in a business district.
But its not. Its still life in China. I'm still buying all of my groceries at the import grocery store. It took me days to work up the courage to buy plants from the vendor on the street, or DVDs from the hawker. I went to Carrefour today - much like Wal-Mart, this is a low-price superstore selling everything a Chinese home could need. People pushed me. I had to push other people. I confused the words for left (zuo) and right (you). The instructions on the laundry detergent were all in Chinese. The fish were still swimming, the chickens still had their feet and the pigs still had their eyes. I wanted to cry. I ate a Snickers bar just to make me feel like an American.
I keep reminding myself of the concentric circles I wrote about previously - my world will get larger day by day. Soon, I'm sure I'll find I have plenty within walking distance. But right now everyday things feel so difficult, and simple things feel so overwhelming.
Friday, November 09, 2007
A Whole Chicken
Something you may not know about me:
I am afraid of dead things.
When I pass a dead bird lying on the sidewalk, I scream.
When I see goldfish floating at the top of the aquarium, I shudder and walk quickly by.
When I'm served cod with the eyes bulging and the scales perfectly intact, I feel queasy.
And I certainly can't break a chicken's legs.
Today, the folks who deliver our fresh organic veggies also brought us a chicken. We asked that he be delivered in the Western style - no head, feet or inner organs. It should be easy from there, right?
I checked The Joy of Cooking. What, exactly, does one do with a whole chicken? The Rombauer women went into great detail about how to choose a chicken, the difference between a broiler and a roaster, and how to prepare the various types and sizes. Unfortunately, my chicken didn't come with a label and I've never been skilled at eyeballing poundage. The only thing I could tell for certain was that my little bird had little hairs sprouting out from his little skin. And this was the one thing The Joy of Cooking warned me against.
I tried.
I really did try.
I told myself its just chicken, and I've held chicken before.
I told myself they're just little hairs, and they'll just come right out. All chickens probably have little hairs, I told myself.
To avoid the hairs, I tried to skin the chicken . Just typing that made me cringe. This went alright around the breasts, but as I had to maneuver the wings and get around toward the poor little guy's rear end, I lost my nerve. The chicken, all of his hairs, and his skin covered little rear ended up in the garbage - which went immediately to the hallway dumpster.
I'm lucky my local grocer sells chicken breast for cheap. Cheap because who would want to eat the easy part? The neck and the feet come at a premium - now that's hard work. Oh my gosh.
I am afraid of dead things.
When I pass a dead bird lying on the sidewalk, I scream.
When I see goldfish floating at the top of the aquarium, I shudder and walk quickly by.
When I'm served cod with the eyes bulging and the scales perfectly intact, I feel queasy.
And I certainly can't break a chicken's legs.
Today, the folks who deliver our fresh organic veggies also brought us a chicken. We asked that he be delivered in the Western style - no head, feet or inner organs. It should be easy from there, right?
I checked The Joy of Cooking. What, exactly, does one do with a whole chicken? The Rombauer women went into great detail about how to choose a chicken, the difference between a broiler and a roaster, and how to prepare the various types and sizes. Unfortunately, my chicken didn't come with a label and I've never been skilled at eyeballing poundage. The only thing I could tell for certain was that my little bird had little hairs sprouting out from his little skin. And this was the one thing The Joy of Cooking warned me against.
I tried.
I really did try.
I told myself its just chicken, and I've held chicken before.
I told myself they're just little hairs, and they'll just come right out. All chickens probably have little hairs, I told myself.
To avoid the hairs, I tried to skin the chicken . Just typing that made me cringe. This went alright around the breasts, but as I had to maneuver the wings and get around toward the poor little guy's rear end, I lost my nerve. The chicken, all of his hairs, and his skin covered little rear ended up in the garbage - which went immediately to the hallway dumpster.
I'm lucky my local grocer sells chicken breast for cheap. Cheap because who would want to eat the easy part? The neck and the feet come at a premium - now that's hard work. Oh my gosh.
Thursday, November 08, 2007
A Taxi Riders' World
L--, S-- and I hopped a taxi to Thumb Plaza this morning to meet a group of moms. Thumb Plaza fits into the new American wave of malls, shops stacked two stories high and circling a large outdoor courtyard. We lunched at Moon River Diner, where the back of the t-shirts proudly exclaim "no chopsticks necessary," and the high chairs just keep on coming. Also located at Thumb Plaza were lovely coffee shops, restaurants and bakeries as well as household, grocery and many other useful stores. A short walk away we found a small book shop stocked with both American and Chinese language children's books and a large supply of Crayola crayons and paints. Each book was priced so low, I felt the urge to leave quickly before they realized how vastly I underpaid. We bought 2 board books and 4 picture books - Curious George, Kevin Henkes and the like - for 95 RMB, or about USD$12.
Neither of these are within walking or Metro distance.
The more I explore, the larger my walkable world becomes. But still, with the choice of playgrounds and green grass within easy walking distance it becomes inevitable that the stores and restaurants are a bit of a hike. I don't feel that we need a car full-time, and hiring on a daily basis is hit-or-miss by availability. Plus, hiring a car for the day costs around $50 while two taxi rides costs under $6. Economics ought not drive decisions regarding my children's safety, but maybe they can place a close second?
This is not something I want to give in on. But my world feels so small right now, which seems a shame in such a large and vibrant city.
Neither of these are within walking or Metro distance.
The more I explore, the larger my walkable world becomes. But still, with the choice of playgrounds and green grass within easy walking distance it becomes inevitable that the stores and restaurants are a bit of a hike. I don't feel that we need a car full-time, and hiring on a daily basis is hit-or-miss by availability. Plus, hiring a car for the day costs around $50 while two taxi rides costs under $6. Economics ought not drive decisions regarding my children's safety, but maybe they can place a close second?
This is not something I want to give in on. But my world feels so small right now, which seems a shame in such a large and vibrant city.
Wednesday, November 07, 2007
To ayi or not to ayi
For those of you unacquainted with Chinese expatriate lingo, an ayi is basically a housekeeper. I spoke with a woman this morning whose ayi works from 10am - 8pm Monday through Saturday, and she pays her 2,000 RMB per month. That's about $250, or about $1 an hour. Ayis always clean, and often cook, pay the bills, do the shopping and/or look after the children. Families with both parents working outside the home often hire one ayi for each child, and then another 1-2 ayis just to keep the house. This is so common that I have not yet met, or even heard about, any expat in Shanghai who does not have an ayi.
Many people also hire a driver. It is quite difficult to obtain a driver's license in Shanghai, let alone to manage driving. A friend has a new mini-van with driver at her disposal 24 hours a day, 7 days a week for 11,000 RMB per month. That's nearly $1,500. Much pricier than an ayi, although many companies will foot the bill for expats. Uncle H-- does not.
All this to explain that having a staff in China is quite common.
And not something I'm particularly interested in.
I have said before that I intend to hire both. I have probably also mentioned that I feel no need to hire either. I waver on a regular basis. I think I've decided to try living without a driver, but hiring one for the day as necessary. That cost is closer to $50 a day, a manageable expense if we only use him 3-6 times a month.
But the ayi leaves me torn. And I'm starting to question, why am I so opposed to hiring one?
The simple fact is that everyone hires an ayi. This is no matter of peer pressure. It's more a matter of having no reason not to. If you can easily afford to have someone handle all of your daily chores and grunt work, why wouldn't you?
Just to be troublesome, I came up with a good answer.
We're trying to live simply. Beyond that, we're trying to save money while still availing ourselves of all opportunities to travel. Bali and Bangkok will not come cheap, and maybe we'd prefer trips like this to a clean home.
But then, there's last night.
Dave came home on time - right around 6:30.
The girls woke up on time, if not a bit late - right around 5:30.
Within this hour, I hoped to fix dinner so we could all sit down as soon as Dave came in the door.
Both children spent most of their time either climbing on me, or attempting to climb on the hot oven. The time they weren't monkeying around near burning hot objects, they spent pushing, pinching and bighting each other. Trying to attend to a gas stove and a bit child at the same time is nearly impossible.
And I thought, how am I supposed to do this?
I could hire an ayi.
Or I could get by like many mothers of young children do - by getting by. But is there any sense in making my life this difficult? And furthermore, most mothers of young children and few means live within an extended family setting, where they still have help caring for the children. Is that a fair statement? So maybe one of the curses of money is that it makes it so simple to distance ourselves from needing our families and communities.
I'll let you know what I decide.
Many people also hire a driver. It is quite difficult to obtain a driver's license in Shanghai, let alone to manage driving. A friend has a new mini-van with driver at her disposal 24 hours a day, 7 days a week for 11,000 RMB per month. That's nearly $1,500. Much pricier than an ayi, although many companies will foot the bill for expats. Uncle H-- does not.
All this to explain that having a staff in China is quite common.
And not something I'm particularly interested in.
I have said before that I intend to hire both. I have probably also mentioned that I feel no need to hire either. I waver on a regular basis. I think I've decided to try living without a driver, but hiring one for the day as necessary. That cost is closer to $50 a day, a manageable expense if we only use him 3-6 times a month.
But the ayi leaves me torn. And I'm starting to question, why am I so opposed to hiring one?
The simple fact is that everyone hires an ayi. This is no matter of peer pressure. It's more a matter of having no reason not to. If you can easily afford to have someone handle all of your daily chores and grunt work, why wouldn't you?
Just to be troublesome, I came up with a good answer.
We're trying to live simply. Beyond that, we're trying to save money while still availing ourselves of all opportunities to travel. Bali and Bangkok will not come cheap, and maybe we'd prefer trips like this to a clean home.
But then, there's last night.
Dave came home on time - right around 6:30.
The girls woke up on time, if not a bit late - right around 5:30.
Within this hour, I hoped to fix dinner so we could all sit down as soon as Dave came in the door.
Both children spent most of their time either climbing on me, or attempting to climb on the hot oven. The time they weren't monkeying around near burning hot objects, they spent pushing, pinching and bighting each other. Trying to attend to a gas stove and a bit child at the same time is nearly impossible.
And I thought, how am I supposed to do this?
I could hire an ayi.
Or I could get by like many mothers of young children do - by getting by. But is there any sense in making my life this difficult? And furthermore, most mothers of young children and few means live within an extended family setting, where they still have help caring for the children. Is that a fair statement? So maybe one of the curses of money is that it makes it so simple to distance ourselves from needing our families and communities.
I'll let you know what I decide.
Carefully worded thoughts piling up in my head
I fear I have been away too long.
Following the old adage of if you've nothing good to say..., I was saying nothing at all.
Not to imply that I am miserable, by any means. But it has been a difficult week.
By the end of the day on Saturday, we had most of the boxes unpacked. Within a few days, we had all of our furniture constructed. And I love our new home - within our walls, I feel entirely comfortable and at home. This is a blessing I do not take lightly.
But we moved outside of the center of town. Whereas before, we were living within a 5 minute walk of Dave's office, loads of great restaurants - both Western and Chinese, the grocery store, the book shop, and plenty of interesting places to walk.
We've traded those things for a complex with lawns for playing, playgrounds for climbing and fountains for splashing. These things I appreciate, and will provide my girls' with a fuller life. But the grocery store is now a 20 minute walk. And the bookstore is now a 35 minute walk. And meeting Dave at a restaurant for dinner means that we eat at 7:00 - way too late for our little ones. We're still in a downtown area, but across the river from the center of town. It's not the suburbs by a long shot - like American suburbs, there we would rely upon a car to go anywhere, and Dave's commute would be well over 1 hour each way. Here it is 30-45 minutes, unless he gets lost.
Here, I expected to meet many other mothers in my situation. We'd quickly become friends, and our children would enjoy each other's company while we were able to chat calmly behind them.
So far, every trip to the playground has netted zero other English speakers. My Chinese doesn't get much more complex than I would like a glad of red wine, so those intimate relationships on the playground have yet to develop.
The no-friends nowhere-to-go combo left me feeling pretty isolated. What's more, Dave had to work all day Sunday. All day meaning he left home around 7am and returned home around 11pm. I learned to appreciate cable tv that day... which only made me feel more isolated.
That was the low point.
Since then, we've reaffirmed that this is where we want to live and I've connected to some moms within walking distance. I've heard about good restaurants close by, and I have some leads on some interesting shopping. It's not Puxi, but it may not be bad, either.
Following the old adage of if you've nothing good to say..., I was saying nothing at all.
Not to imply that I am miserable, by any means. But it has been a difficult week.
By the end of the day on Saturday, we had most of the boxes unpacked. Within a few days, we had all of our furniture constructed. And I love our new home - within our walls, I feel entirely comfortable and at home. This is a blessing I do not take lightly.
But we moved outside of the center of town. Whereas before, we were living within a 5 minute walk of Dave's office, loads of great restaurants - both Western and Chinese, the grocery store, the book shop, and plenty of interesting places to walk.
We've traded those things for a complex with lawns for playing, playgrounds for climbing and fountains for splashing. These things I appreciate, and will provide my girls' with a fuller life. But the grocery store is now a 20 minute walk. And the bookstore is now a 35 minute walk. And meeting Dave at a restaurant for dinner means that we eat at 7:00 - way too late for our little ones. We're still in a downtown area, but across the river from the center of town. It's not the suburbs by a long shot - like American suburbs, there we would rely upon a car to go anywhere, and Dave's commute would be well over 1 hour each way. Here it is 30-45 minutes, unless he gets lost.
Here, I expected to meet many other mothers in my situation. We'd quickly become friends, and our children would enjoy each other's company while we were able to chat calmly behind them.
So far, every trip to the playground has netted zero other English speakers. My Chinese doesn't get much more complex than I would like a glad of red wine, so those intimate relationships on the playground have yet to develop.
The no-friends nowhere-to-go combo left me feeling pretty isolated. What's more, Dave had to work all day Sunday. All day meaning he left home around 7am and returned home around 11pm. I learned to appreciate cable tv that day... which only made me feel more isolated.
That was the low point.
Since then, we've reaffirmed that this is where we want to live and I've connected to some moms within walking distance. I've heard about good restaurants close by, and I have some leads on some interesting shopping. It's not Puxi, but it may not be bad, either.
Friday, November 02, 2007
A Wild Week
I'm afraid this week won't get the narrative it so rightly deserves. After a short visit to Xiamen with Uncle H--, we shoved our portion of the hotel into bags and moved into our new apartment. We've spent the last few days buying and assembling furniture (still not nearly done), slowly unpacking bags and boxes, eating out a lot, exploring our new neighborhood bit by bit, and trying to plan our holiday in Bali - apparently most of the country is already booked over Christmas.
Xiamen
As far as testing our girls' ability to jump onto a plane Saturday morning, enjoy a bit of foreign land, and jump back on a return flight Sunday evening - we failed miserably. The girls were troopers, and Dave's child-loving young co-workers helped considerably. We hardly saw S-- the entire weekend, as people fought to hold her. But waking early one day, going to bed late the next, and needing to skip naps both days is just not something two babies can physically manage. In the future, our short trips will be roadtrips, and we'll save the flights for extended weekends.
Xiamen itself is rather nondescript and not worth much time. Upon arrival, our crew of about 23 people (L-- and S-- were joined by only one other child) climbed aboard a tour bus and were shuttled about town for the rest of the weekend.
First stop was a 1,300 year old Buddhist temple climbing the wooded hills of this oceanfront town.
The main pagodas rest on level ground, and were filled with smoking red sticks of incense and people bowing quickly to the many golden idols.
Past these first few buildings, the rest of the complex consisted of small pagodas and caves along stairways and paths winding their way up the hill. They went up much further than our 2-year-old's legs could climb, but the farther away from the McDonalds eating masses bowing to the golden Buddhas on the ground, the more serene and beautiful each temple felt.
The tour progressed to various Chinese banquets, an island with Colonial architecture, a boat ride and the university campus. Each was lovely, but rather unremarkable and probably not worth the tired infants we forced through the trip. But for the opportunity to get to know Dave's co-workers in a new setting and be introduced to plenty of Chinese food in an informal banquet style, the trip was well worth it. And since L-- and S-- were surrounded by so many friends in Dave's coworkers, they may have even agreed.
Our New Home
We now have a permanent address and no more housekeeping. But don't worry about that - we're on the prowl for an ayi to cook, clean and shop for us. My understanding is that a part-time ayi will cost us around $50 a month - and never scrubbing the toilet, mopping the floor or doing my own laundry is well worth the cost, I've decided. Still, we're currently dealing with mess ourselves. Our shipment was delivered as a mass of boxes, and our things came from the hotel in suitcases and bags. But the furnished apartment came with beds, couches and televisions but only a shopping allowance for shelves, dressers and other storage. So we made an immediate run to IKEA and handed over a ridiculous amount of cash for a desk, two dressers, a set of shelves, a file cabinet, 1 rug, 1 set of sheets, 1 blanket and various other household needs. We're living amongst piles of toys, blankets of books and overflowing suitcases until we finish assembling IKEA's DIY furniture. The goal is to be finished and unpacked by the end of the weekend. With no other plans - except to make a nice pot of chili - I think we can do it.
A few photos of our old home. This is Hong Kong Plaza, our hotel (serviced apartment), viewed from the park across the street:
And this is People's Square and the Shanghai Museum, the view out of our former Living Room window:
Booking in Bali
Rather than spend a sad Christmas alone in our highrise apartment, we're shipping ourselves to Bali for a tropical holiday. After two nights and one day in Singapore, we'll spend seven nights in Bali. We arranged the flights without realizing just how booked these two countries would be at this time. Singapore, land of the outrageously priced hotels, was looking like it might cost around $450 a night until we stumbled upon the Robertson Quay Hotel, where we're booked for 2 nights and a late check-out to cover naptime - all for under $300, total. On to Bali, where we were becoming quite concerned that we'd be stuck paying thousands of dollars to stay at Club Med rather than our preference, the more affordable boutique hotels in smaller communities. After a lot of searching and talking to people, we've booked the first four nights in Ubud and are working on the last 3 nights on the beach. It seems we won't spend Christmas homeless, although we will be spending midnight on New Year's Eve with our children at the Singapore airport - our connecting flight won't leave for Shanghai until 2:00 in the morning!
With all of these plans made, and you all caught up, we can put all of our energy into the weekend's task of making this place feel like home.
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