The Christmas Letter

Whenever I do Christmas cards, I always include a reference to our blog.  In years past, its been an easy way to catch everyone up on our lives.  The blog was always full and up to date, and folks could read as little or as much as they wanted, to learn as little or as much as they wanted about our comings and goings, and my mental state.

But this year, at this Christmas, our comings and goings have slowed and my mental state is pretty stable.  The blog has been sitting empty these past few months, as there has been little of note occuring in our now typical American lives.  So, I suppose I ought to take a moment to sum up the year for you.

At the beginning of 2012, we lived in Shenzhen - a port city across the bay from Hong Kong, in the south of China.  Dave worked about an hour away from home, and traveled out of the country for weeks at a time.  On this project, he spent time in Abu Dhabi, Morocco and the Philippines.  He enjoyed the new places, but the time away from home was long and difficult for all of us.

Chinese New Year hit in February this year, and we decided to spend it quietly at home.  Dave's travel had been enough for all of us, and a week together in our house sounded perfect.  We took a day to explore Hong Kong Disneyland, a simple taxi ride and border crossing away from our home.  On that day, Dave received the invitation to join the United States Foreign Service.

We left China in March, and our family moved into a serviced apartment in Northern Virginia in April.  Dave was going through a 6 week training course to begin his career as a diplomat.  In May, Dave learned his first post.  His colleagues are in Cape Verde, Nigeria, India and more.  Dave is at the State Department building in Washington, DC.  We settled into our own house with our own things in June.

The first half of our year was a tumultuous whirlwind, and the second half has gone by so smoothly.  Lilly has turned 6 years old.  She is at her third school of the year, where she's enjoying the 1st grade.
Sophia has turned 5 years old.  She is at her second school of the year, and loving Montessori School.  Annika turned 1, and then 19 months, and enjoys her sisters and their friends.  Lilly and Sophia and I chatter quite a lot, so little Annika has felt no need to talk yet.  Lilly and Sophia has made lots of friends this year, and transitioned exceptionally well through all of their changes.  I'm looking forward to their staying relatively stable for the next year, until our next scheduled move.

In December of 2012, our family will move to Venezuela where Dave will work the visa line as a consular officer in the Caracas Embassy.  We hear that the schools there are fabulous, and so we're looking forward to another comfortable home.  We also hear that the crime rates are ridiculous, with murders and express kidnappings alarmingly commonplace, so we're feeling a little nervous.  We also hear that grocery stores frequently lack basic staples, like milk and toilet paper, so we're feeling the need to be well prepared upon arrival.

But Venezuela feels far away right now.  This season, we've filled our house with Christmas decorations and the smell of cookies baking.  We marvel at the Christmas decorations everywhere we go, and we're loving how festive the whole city feels.  We're soaking in the Advent story every night and the teachings and worship from a fabulous church.  We're excited about driving to spend Christmas with family - who we've seen multiple times this year already, and who we expect to visit with more in 2012.  We're resting in America this year, and feeling surrounded by God's blessings.

The Difference

We’ve lived in Northern Virginia for 9 months now.  We have moved 4 times over the last 4 years, and by 9 months we have been so well settled that I felt fully at home where we lived.  In fact, by 10 months I was beginning to plan my next move, so 9 months may have been the most settled at each home so far.  Living abroad, a girl makes fast friends.  Much like summer camp, everyone needs friends right away and we bond quickly.  It’s a very friendly and exciting way to live, and builds my social confidence tremendously.  Abroad, I’m likely to begin a conversation with someone in line at the grocery store and invite them to my home by the time I’m checking out.  In the states, I’m not likely to give more than a passing smile to the person near me in line - possibly I’ll accept a compliment on my cute baby, but nothing more substantial.

I’ve enjoyed making so many friends abroad, but I rarely make friends that I expect to be in touch with more than a year later.  My Christmas card list remains static each year, because people add quickly, but people fall away quickly as well.  It’s the nature of a life where everyone leaves at a moment’s notice.

So here, I’ve been struck by the difference.  I’ve joined a Bible Study at my church.  I liked most of the ladies in the group when I first began, but I left a bit disappointed.  I didn’t feel like we were sharing much with each other.  I didn’t feel like I was getting to know them very well.  I wasn’t really making friends at the beginning.  Its only now, after being in the same group for 4 months, that I’m beginning to build relationships with some of the ladies.  And I feel this happening in other places, too.  Another mom at school, with whom I’ve chatted casually every day, we’ve begun to make plans for the weekend.  Relationships are slowly beginning to build.  And I’m realizing that this is how it works.  Friendships don’t usually happen so quickly - they build upon shared experience, upon shared history, upon shared interest, upon honestly enjoying each other’s company.  I love the erasure of these things abroad - I don’t choose my friends, and I don’t judge my friends harshly.  But I’m enjoying the natural of these things here.  I have things in common with my friends here, and I can sit and talk about any number of things with them.

It makes part of me wish that we could stay here long-term.  I was nervous about living on the East Coast - how could it be as friendly as the Midwest?  But Virginia takes it cues from the South, and I have found it to be a very warm and welcoming community.  I would enjoy the chance to build relationships with the women I’m getting to know.  I’m sad to realize that the moms at school will follow each others kids through the next few years of school, and that the ladies at church could remain in the same Bible Study through the next few cycles.

I love the lifestyle that we have chosen, and I love the joy of meeting new people and building those relationships regularly.  But this month, I’m hungering for more.  I’m hungering for those relationships that build slowly and over a much longer period of time, because they build to be so much taller.  And I’m thankful for the relationships I still have with friends from high school.  I love that these people have been my friends for over twenty years.  They know where I’ve been, what I’ve struggled with, how well I’ve succeeded, and they can spell the names of all of my kids.  I’ve got that history with them - but I only see them once a year.  I suppose the grass will always be greener somewhere else.

Nearing the Countdown

Close friends will leave in a few weeks.  He went through A-100 with Dave.  While Dave was posted to D.C. first, our friend was posted to the Embassy in Cape Verde.  While Dave began working straight away, our friend continued in school and completes his Portugese studies with a test on Friday afternoon.  His household has already been packed up and shipped off to Africa.  They have arranged their plane tickets.  They have their black passports and their shots.  They have an arrival date for him, places for the family to stay while they wait for him to prepare their housing, and the first day of school has been arranged for their kids.

In walking with them through this adventure, it occurs to me that I will follow their trajectory one year later.  At this point, we expect Dave to arrive in Venezuela at the end of December next year.  That puts us at very nearly one year away from our departure, and the end of this season.  This date seems rather abstract to me - a year is an awfully long time.

Correspondence from the Caracas Embassy has made me realize that its closer than I think.  We received some wonderful correspondence from the CLO at the Embassy.  In the Foreign Service, the CLO is the Community Liaison Officer.  The CLO is not a Foreign Service Officer, but I believe he or she is generally the spouse of an officer.  Her job is to be the liason between the community and the embassy - this is an important job in a lifestyle where Dave’s employer will control most of our life.  Uncle H-- never provided any such liaison, and I must admit to looking forward to having such a contact person.  She sent a fabulous letter beginning to prepare us for the next season in our lives.

Venezuela is a consumables post.  That means that we have a budget for shipping in any grocery items that we may need, up to a certain weight.  The CLO shared that Venezuela experiences frequent shortages on staples like milk and paper towels.  Apparently they have loads of wonderful fresh fruit, but no lemons and no berries.  Apparently nearly everything is much more expensive there than here, and so she advised us to take full advantage of our consumables allocation.  Such a wonderful benefit - no more lugging chocolate chips and salsa in my luggage every time I travel back from the states!  But a crazy benefit as well.  How do I determine how much flour I use over a 2 year period?  What about how much honey or chicken stock?  My ultra-organized brain wants to set up a spreadsheet, and track all grocery purchases over this year to know what we use annually.  My mother brain knows that I would never keep up with it.

We have also received our Housing Questionnaire.  Each American embassy manages some sort of a housing pool.  In Venezuela, the housing pool is made up of high-rise apartments near the embassy.  Assignment of these apartments is by rank, family size, seniority, and luck of arrival.  But to avoid some of that luck, all 2012 new arrivals are asked to complete a Housing Questionnaire and return it within the next few days.  We are expecting a 3-bedroom apartment, and hoping that its near the school and the embassy.  Commute time is generally the highest priority in our household, and I’m excited that the embassy and the school are near each other.

We don’t have an arrival date set yet, although I imagine we will soon.  We don’t know yet whether or not Dave will arrive before the girls and I, although we may know soon.  Many things are still abstract, and the current goals are still primarily to study Spanish and to build up our kitchen and our spring and summer wardrobes.  But a deadline will be coming.

Getting To Work

Living someplace temporarily always give a different outlook.  Every good idea either begins or ends with “before we leave.”  We did a pretty good job of checking some of those off of our list.  We’ve already been to the beach and to Colonial Williamsburg.  We’ve begun checking off the museums of the Smithsonian, and we’ve eaten loads of burgers and milkshakes.  We’ve begun to stock our kitchen with wonderfully useful, long-lasting kitchen tools, although that list seems to grow faster than it shrinks.  We’ve begun the dirty work as well.

I have begun a relationship with an Ear, Nose and Throat doctor.  After facing sinus infections abroad, where I had little trust for my doctors and even less trust for my prescribed medication, I decided to seek a better answer to the problem.  I’ve been referred to a Speech Pathologist (rather interesting) and to an Allergy Nurse so far, and am on my fifth dose of antibiotics for the calendar year.  My understanding is that each Embassy employs a nurse or even a doctor to serve the Embassy community, and that many people feel comfortable using them as their family doctor.  I am looking forward to the rest that will come from having our medical professional provided when we arrive, but I’m taking advantage of specialists while we’re here.

The girls are taking advantage as well.  Little Annika has been to a Speech Therapist and an Audiologist, as she has not begun speaking yet.  Although we spend a lot of time running around meeting appointments and making them fit into everyone’s schedules, I am thankful to be surrounded by such a wealth of medical professionals.  Dave and I have been to a psychologist for advice on raising our kids, after some serious behavior issues have arisen in our household.  We figured that discipline issues are best addressed when the kids are young.  But also, that this connection may be valuable in the years to come, with all of the stress we have planned for our girls.

Also, Lilly and I have begun studying Spanish.  She takes an after-school class twice a week.  I work on Rosetta Stone whenever I can snatch half an hour.  My goal for Lilly is that she gain enough vocabulary to recognizes snatches of words and phrases once we arrive, giving her the confidence to learn more.  My goal for myself is to build my vocabulary and a bit of an ear for the language through this school year.  Once Sophia begins kindergarten in the fall, my schedule will open up considerably and I hope to begin a more intensive Spanish course that last semester here.

It is my goal for everyone in our family to speak Spanish by the time we leave Venezuela.  Annika will have no trouble - I hope she can attend a bilingual school when she is ready for preschool, and I plan to have her spend some time with our Spanish speaking ayi during the day.  I hope that Lilly and Sophia can build a relationship with ayi as well, and I expect they will have Spanish in school every day.  For myself, I hope to have enough language to get by when I arrive.  If I never train myself to work in English there, my language skills will build quickly.

The work has begun, but within a season of rest and plenty.  The goal is just to be diligent.

Adrenaline Junkie

I may have become an adrenaline junkie.  As compared to the chaotic intensity of the past few years of my life, the relative calm of the past few months is making me crazy.  Coupled with some real behavior problems and far too many minutes spent in the car with a cranky baby, I think I may be losing my mind.  After a rough bedtime this evening, I grabbed my computer and walked straight out of the house.  Only once I had pulled onto the highway did I realize that I have no idea what's open for computer-starers and headphone-wearers at 9:00 at night in my part of town.  The best I could find was a Barnes & Noble in Clarendon.  It doesn't make me feel any more interesting or adventurous, but it gets me out of the house, listening to my own music, and thinking my own thoughts until they close in an hour.

Actually, quite a few wheels have been set in motion within our household lately, and I have a number of half-written posts jostling around in my mind.  My organizational tendencies beg me to sit here and write a few different blog postings, keeping my thoughts need and tidy.  Lets just see if that happens.  But to run with the current theme, I must admit that now that we have settled into a quiet life in the suburbs, I'm getting awfully bored.  We haven't traveled for longer than a day since summer, and my feet are beginning to itch.  We live just close enough to the city to make me hungry for it, but just far enough away that I don't know which restaurants to explore or which places are kid-friendly.  I don't know which bars or coffee shops are open at 9pm on a Monday night.  It seems that I am itching for some major stress to arise, bring on another adrenaline rush, and make me start running again.

Dear Santa Claus

I've inadvertently recycled both of their letters to Santa this year.  But I think they were particularly fabulous this year, so posterity (and all of our friends and family) can view them digitally.


From Sophia:

Dear Santa,
I think that I'm only kind of nice.  Santa, I wish I get a good present.  I want a new puppy dog, some flowers, a teapot set, the stuff to be a witch (a real witch).  I want to know how to plant flowers.  I would like some Christmas placemats.  I want some more music cause I like to dance.  Christmas music, and Chinese music, and hopping music.  I want some drawing things like a box of markers with a bag of paper.


From Lilly:

Dear Santa.
I have been pretty good.  What I want for Christmas is a scooter, a basket for my bike, my own flashlight, clothing for my Lovey Bear, a new easel, a new real puppy, I want a fun zuh zuh pet town set.  I am going to put out cookies and milk for you.  And carrots for your reindeer.

Thankful

Today is Thanksgiving.  Today I am thankful for my wonderful husband, and for my badly behaved children.  Badly behaved as they may be, they're also brilliant and beautiful and very sweet and I love them very much.

Today I am also thankful to be in America.  I feel kinda corny writing that, but this forum is for honesty, so there you go.  We've spent the last few Thanksgivings in China, and there is something special about gathering together with other Americans to create our own, warm corner of America anywhere in the world.  But there's something pretty great about being in America for Thanksgiving - where everyone has the day off, the neighborhood smells like dried leaves and all of the fixings are readily available (and even on sale!).
 We took full advantage, and created a feast worthy of many more people than sat at the table.  Especially because by the time our feast reached the table, the girls had lost most of their appetites.  Still, Dave and I enjoyed it... and will be enjoying the leftovers for another week or so, at least.

And today, celebrating a small and quiet version of the traditional American Thanksgiving, it makes me aware of how differently my children's lives will be from mine.  My childhood memories of Thanksgiving are generally the same.  My mom made the meal, which we ate at our home with my grandparents coming over to share.  I would be upstairs in my room making some sort of decorations - place cards, pilgrim hats, or teepee centerpieces.  My mom made the same stuffing every year, and the same pumpkin pie.  The holiday was about three things - eating the same, fabulous, home-cooked menu every year;  celebrating our blessings;  and being together with family.

What will this look like for my kids?  The menu will likely change year to year, partly due to availability of different foods in different places, but partly because we will often join potlucks and share traditions from loads of different families.  We can still celebrate our blessings, but what else will my kids associate with Thanksgiving when they're grown?

No doubt things change, and my childhood Thanksgivings looked dramatically different from those of my parents as well.  For now, I am happy to relax with a glass of wine, a full belly and a refrigerator loaded with leftovers.  I am thankful for all that we have.

Dave's job

So, you know that Dave is a Foreign Service Officer.  You know that he is currently posted in D.C..  You may know that he works in the Main building of the State Department, just down the hall from the Secretary.  You may also know that he works in the Department for Democracy, Human Rights and Labor - rather oddly abbreviated as DRL.  You may even know that he narrows that focus to China.  But if you want a prettier version of what he does, take a read of President Obama's speech before Australia's parliament this morning.

Now, lets be realistic.  You all read that speech on your own time.  But maybe you didn't notice where he mentioned Dave.  Here it is:

And this brings me to the final area where we are leading -- our support for the fundamental rights of every human being.  Every nation will chart its own course.  Yet it is also true that certain rights are universal; among them, freedom of speech, freedom of the press, freedom of assembly, freedom of religion, and the freedom of citizens to choose their own leaders.
These are not American rights, or Australian rights, or Western rights.  These are human rights.  They stir in every soul, as we’ve seen in the democracies that have succeeded here in Asia.  Other models have been tried and they have failed -- fascism and communism, rule by one man and rule by committee.  And they failed for the same simple reason:  They ignore the ultimate source of power and legitimacy -- the will of the people.  Yes, democracy can be messy and rough -- I understand you mix it up quite well during Question Time.  (Laughter.)  But whatever our differences of party or of ideology, we know in our democracies we are blessed with the greatest form of government ever known to man.
So as two great democracies, we speak up for those freedoms when they are threatened.  We partner with emerging democracies, like Indonesia, to help strengthen the institutions upon which good governance depends.  We encourage open government, because democracies depend on an informed and active citizenry.  We help strengthen civil societies, because they empower our citizens to hold their governments accountable.  And we advance the rights of all people -- women, minorities and indigenous cultures -- because when societies harness the potential of all their citizens, these societies are more successful, they are more prosperous and they are more just.
These principles have guided our approach to Burma, with a combination of sanctions and engagement.  And today, Aung San Suu Kyi is free from house arrest.  Some political prisoners have been released, and the government has begun a dialogue.  Still, violations of human rights persist.  So we will continue to speak clearly about the steps that must be taken for the government of Burma to have a better relationship with the United States.
This is the future we seek in the Asia Pacific -- security, prosperity and dignity for all.  That’s what we stand for.  That’s who we are.  That’s the future we will pursue, in partnership with allies and friends, and with every element of American power.  So let there be no doubt:  In the Asia Pacific in the 21st century, the United States of America is all in.
...This is the story of the alliance we celebrate today.  This is the essence of America’s leadership; it is the essence of our partnership.  This is the work we will carry on together, for the security and prosperity and dignity of all people.

What We've Been Reading

With Venezuela only 13 months away, I've been scanning the bookshelves for new reading material.  However, Venezuela does not make the newspapers, NPR or the best seller lists nearly as often as China does.  That could certainly change over the next 3 years, but right now the picking is pretty slim.

I did start off with a classic, though.  The Lost World was written by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle in 1912.  The book is fabulous - an adventure tale of British gentlemen in the early 1900s.  I enjoyed so many things about the novel, one of them being the chance to get inside the heads and mindsets of the explorers, back when exploring meant forgoing safety and your possible return just to see what was out there.  The setting of Doyle's lost world is said to be inside of Venezuela.  Interestingly, parts of Venezuela are still said to be relatively untouched.  I doubt there is much fact in the novel, but it is a wonderful read and does paint an exciting and exquisite picture of the physical place we will be living.

However, I couldn't find much else.  I do have a short reading list, but I am open to all suggestions as well.  Until then, I have broadened the category to include Colombia as well.  Colombia and Venezuela share both a border and a history.  Simon Bolivar is history's great man for both nations.  Also, a prolific and Nobel prize winning author writes from and about Columbia.  "Believed by many to be one of the world’s greatest writers, Gabriel García Márquez is a Colombian-born author and journalist, winner of the 1982 Nobel Prize for Literature and a pioneer of the Latin American 'Boom.'"  I'm guessing that the here referenced boom is in Spanish language literature - and although I am working through Rosetta Stone's Latina American Spanish program, I'm not yet reading great works of literature.  However, Márquez has been translated into English and one of his books now sits on my bedside table.


I admit to being a little intimidated.  The General in His Labyrinth been sitting there for a while.  Currently, it sits behind World War Z, a much lighter and far less intimidating book.  But now that I've posted this, I'm sure I'll read the Nobel Prize winning author next.

Settling In

How I planned to spend my Saturday:

• Oiling the patio table and moving it to the basement;
• Raking and mowing the lawn;
• Cleaning the outside toys and moving them to the basement;
• Picking the last of the vegetables and cleaning the vestiges of our summer garden.

I'm sure we could have added much more to that list, given the right day.  But we were not given the right day.  We were given this day, our last day of October:

So, Dave took the minivan and helped a friend move.  The rest of us stayed home, and got stuff done for a while.  As soon as they could see snow on the ground, which did take quite a while, both Lilly and Sophia insisted that they go out to play in it.  Just as they pulled on their boots, their neighbor friend knocked on the door asking them to play in the snow.  When I looked out the window, a small crew of children was playing in the front yard.

I love snow.

And I love this neighborhood.

The landlord may be crap, and the house may be imperfect, but the neighborhood makes the whole thing worthwhile.  We live in a great school district - a neighborhood where people buy for the zip code and for the schools.  Plenty of people buy one of the 1950s era houses and tear them down, building much bigger and much more expensive homes on these already pricey lots.  But our block has escaped that.  A few homeowners have added on to their houses, and a few homeowners seem happy with things the way they area.  And I think the reason I like this neighborhood so much is that I like that kind of people - the folks who live close to the city, choose the good schools, but live happily in just enough space.  The small house folks, where the television is relegated to the basement, the bikes are better protected than the car, and the kids play outside because its just too crowded in the house.

We like it so much that we wanted to stay here.  Not stay here stay here, like some of you people may think when I say "stay here."  Not, like, live here for the next 5 years or anything.  Goodness no.  But we decided it would be perfect to buy a house here.  To buy this house, should the landlord want to sell.  Even better - to buy the next door neighbor's house.  They do want to sell, and their house is nearly identical to ours.  Plus, they have this great climbing tree in the front yard.

The more we thought about it, the more we wanted to do it.  That way, every time we come back to DC, we'll come back to the same house, the same neighbors, and the same schools.  That much more stability for our kids, and a source of rental income while we're out of the country.

We tried every which way to make it work, but we simply can not afford to buy in this neighborhood.  These houses are crazy expensive - even the small ones!  And although it would be comforting to buy a house right now, it is also freeing to decide not to.  We looked at our goals, and we only plan to spend about 3 of the next 16 years living inside the United States.  That's pretty exciting.  We looked at our finances, and we'd rather invest in college, retirement, and a few rooms to spend our summers in the Midwest.

Its crummy not to buy a house.  It would be lovely to invest in this neighborhood.  But its nice to make a decision, to have some long-term goals, and not to have to worry about replacing furnaces or gutters anytime soon.  And by soon I mean within the next 20 years.

Sophia Says

So, that last post was a bit heavy.  But Sophia said something lovely this morning as well.  Today is Diwali and her teacher celebrates Diwali, and so she met us wearing a lovely sari.  When Sophia saw her, she told me that her teacher looks beautiful.  When Ms Teacher opened the car door, Sophia told her that she looks like an Indian princess.

When I was 4 years old, an Indian princess looked like the cartoon character from Peter Pan with a feather poking out of her hair.

I love that this is what my 4 year old imagines an Indian princess looks like.

Missing Grace

A favorite game for my children is to pretend that their parents are dead.  I take this as a compliment, that we have made our girls feel so confident and safe that being orphaned seems like pure fiction.  So this morning on the way to school, it came as no surprise when Sophia told me I wish I didn't have a mom.  I told her that if I were not her mom, I would miss her very much.

And at that moment it struck me - that is how I feel about Grace.

Grace is what we would have named the orphan from China who we planned to adopt.  We waited years for her, although we were never matched to her.  She would have joined our family within the next 9 months, but we decided to stop the adoption procedure this summer.

I insinuated to Sophia that even if she had never been born, I would still love her.  Even though Grace will never join our family, I still love her.  And sometimes my heart hurts because I miss her.

The Landlord

When I signed the lease for this house, I got a rude shock.  The realtor who managed the transaction  told me never to call.  I should not call him with a problem.  I should not call the landlord with a problem.  Surprised, I said, What if something needs repair? Nope.  That's your responsibility.  Okay, but what if the toilet explodes in the middle of the night.  Then I would need to call her, right?  Nope.  That's your responsibility.  But, if a tree falls on the house and tears a hole in the roof?  Yeah, then you should probably call her.

Silly me.  I took his word for it.  Just last night, I sat down to reread the lease and learn exactly our responsibility.  Contractually, our landlord is responsible for all appliances as well as for general maintenance of the house.  I have no idea what the manager was talking about when he discouraged me from calling.

But that he gave me bad advice a few months ago did not keep said landlord from lecturing me this afternoon.  The washing machine stopped working Tuesday night last week, with a pool of water on the floor around it.  I called the landlord first thing Wednesday morning.  She finally made it out for a peek this afternoon - Monday.  She lectured me for not explaining more clearly; for not calling earlier; for not attempting to solve it myself; for not cleaning it up on my own; for not installing something to stop the problem.  She explained to me how the fuse box works; how the shower head works; how I ought to think for myself.

I owned my own house for 6 years in St. Louis, as well as managing rental property that I also owned down the street.  We still own the rental property in St. Louis, and rely on managers (aka my parents) to keep it in good condition.  I have become fairly savvy about property maintenance.

We rented the last 3.5 years in China - 4 different properties and 4 different leases.  We had problems with bugs.  We had problems with washing machines.  We had mold. And each time, I hated working with the landlord, largely because they all seemed to believe me an idiot.  Fair enough - I did not speak their local language.  Americans are guilty of the same thinking far too often.  But knowing that the landlord looked down on me drove me nuts.

Sadly, none of those problems were unique to China.  In the few months we've lived in this house in Virginia, we have had bugs, mold, and a faulty washing machine.  The washing machine seemed worthy of a call to the landlord, as the lease has a specific clause making all appliances her responsibility.  Using Midwestern English, she talked down to me the whole time.  Apparently it has little to do with language issues - maybe landlords just think tenants are idiots.

So now I know that I am supposed to notify her immediately of any problems.  I also hope not to have anymore problems, because contact with her is no fun.

But more generally, I am reminded that my life abroad was not as foreign as I thought.  I enjoyed complaining about the bad service I got in China, and how difficult it could be to communicate simple problems.  Clearly, bad service is global and communication can be difficult within the same language.  Our next move will make the United States government our landlord, or at least our property manager.  As I ought not complain about that landlord in this forum, I had best set bad landlords as my standard, and see myself pleasantly surprised at how well I am treated in Venezuela.

Venezuela-fy

Word is that Caracas is not only ripe territory for murders, but that carjackings are fairly common as well.  My understanding is that the point of the car jacking is to steal the car.  At first, we planned to leave our 2011 Honda Odyssey back in the states.  A brand new car must scream money, right?  Surely we would be a target for carjackers.  Apparently not, actually.  When the goal is to obtain the car, then the car must be desirable.  In Venezuela, as in most of the United States, a mini-van is not seen as a desirable car.  Apparently, we'll be fine.

Still, the shiny new car was making me nervous.  It may have Cheerios ground into the seats and names written on the walls in crayon, but it still shines on the outside.

And so yesterday, I began the process of Venezuela-fying our car.  I accidentally scratched a car as I pulled out of Lilly's school parking out.  In my defense, that car was parked surprisingly (and illegally) close to the corner.  Still, I felt a little silly.  I immediately parked, walked back to the car to inspect the scratch, and decided it was worth a note.  In the time it took me to write the note, the illegal parker had driven away.  I am off the hook for Venezuela-fying their car.  And as I began to feel guilty about our car, it dawned on me the luck.  It would be awfully difficult to intentionally scratch up our car, making it look less desirable and making us look less rich.  But if I can accidentally do it a number of times over the next year, we'll be that much safer!

Career Goals

I sat down to write a business plan a few days ago.  I've been playing with this photography thing long enough.  I decided that its time to take that step away from practicing amateur to full-on professional.  I began putting together what I would need to build my dream studio, and what my life would look like once I'd built it.

Here's the trouble.  I didn't like it.

The dream studio would be amazing, but very difficult to control.  I could use our sun room in this house, but what could I use in Venezuela?  The State Department guarantees us housing for our family, but not necessarily but a traveling home business.  Am I willing to sacrifice our largest bedroom for this?

The timing seems good.  This would be an evenings and weekends job, which means that our kids will generally have a parent available to them.  But should I succeed, then I won't have much of my husband available to me.  Or any spare time - those evenings are kept pretty busy right now, and we really enjoy those weekends.  Am I willing to sacrifice our family time for this?

The future looks good.  As long as we're traveling, we'll be landing in small and changing communities of foreigners.  A talented photographer to take family and children's portraits will always have some level of demand.  But once we land back in the states, do I want to retire from children's photography?

This is when I realized that although photography is loads of fun, and although its exciting to feel a real talent and the willingness to nurture that talent, it doesn't make it any easier to sleep at night.  When I go back to work, I want it to be something I truly care about; more than simply something I enjoy.

So, I'll carry my camera everywhere I go.  And if you'd like pictures of your kids, please let me know.  I'd love to take them for you - I may even allow you to pay me for them.  But as far as my career goes, I'm going to switch back to social worker as soon as my mothering schedule allows.

Exploring America: Colonial Williamsburg

Sophia took most of the photos at Colonial Williamsburg.  The girls really enjoyed the day there, and Dave enjoyed it more than he thought he would.  The weather was amazing, and plenty of kid-friendly games were available outside.  They also loved the hedge maze.  But goodness sakes, after walking all day through this lovely little town, all three of our children were exhausted!

Check this one out:  Sophia asked to take my picture.  Dave stood next to me, so he leaned in for the photo.  She cut him out!

Exploring America: The Virginia State Fair

 The State Fair happened rather spontaneously.  On the way to Williamsburg, we passed the turn-off for the state fair.  We had no idea that the fair was going on this weekend.  None of us had ever been to a state fair, and it seemed that our time in America wouldn't be complete without one!

Now, the Virginia State Fair is no Iowa, but there was still some excitement.  For instance, we witnessed the birthing of the calf on the left!

Lilly and I enjoyed a ride on the ferris wheel,

and we all enjoyed plenty of corn dogs, funnel cakes and root beer.

Exploring America: Farm Festivals

 exploring the corn maze

buried in the corn box

jumping in the pile of hay

Exploring America: Hiking in Southern Maryland

Exploring America: Southern Maryland and the Potomac

Exploring America in October

Rather by happenstance, this is the month for exploring.  I suppose its more than just coincidence - we've all fallen into our schedules and become comfortable in our home, our schools and our work.  We have routines, which makes it easier to break out of them.  Plus, the weather is fantastic!  So, we've enjoyed a lot of family time this month.  And with visitors and more scheduled for the rest of the month, it promises to stay good!

And I'll admit - I've really missed fall.  I'm fully enjoying it this year, as I know that I won't have it again once we go to Venezuela.  We'll be eating plenty of fresh apples and raking piles of leaves in the front yard.

For this month, I'll just offer quick photojournalism for each destination.  In keeping with my privacy habit, no photos of little girls' faces.  So, some places have more photos than others.  But even without our smiling faces, I think you'll be able to tell how much fun we're having!

**n.b. - Those who know me well and want photos with faces, check out my Photography page on Facebook.

Moving Right Along

Life in Virginia has fallen into a manageable rhythm.  Our mornings go quickly, our afternoons go drowsily, and our evenings are busy until that last lamp switches off by 8:30.  Lilly likes her teacher;  Annika loves her music class;  Sophia is in the right place at school.

True, I didn't say that Sophia loves it.  Her transition back to school has been the smoothest this fall, because although her school made some significant capital changes, she still returned to the same place with some of the same people.  She returned to a routine which was already familiar and her behavior has been better these past few weeks than over the summer.

Her engagement at school is another matter, though.  Our Sophia may be a bit of a trouble child.  She often chooses not to engage in classroom activities, will ignore other children when they speak to her, and holds grudges against anyone and anything.  In short, she acts at school exactly as she acts at home.

Yesterday, I demanded the time of one of her teachers.  She fit me in during the day (awfully helpful for a classroom teacher), and she talked about our Sophia for nearly an hour.  I left that office feeling two things.  First, that Sophia has some skills she really needs to learn this year, her last year in preschool.  But second, that she is absolutely in the right place.  With a 15-30 minute commute one-way to her school, I often question whether I should have changed her school once we found our housing.  But the permanence seems to have settled her, and her teachers are fantastic.  They are truly working with me as a team to bring this amazing, smart and mature little girl to true functionality within a group setting.

God is good.

Loving the Library

I've lived in America for the vast majority of my life, and so settled quite easily back into the routines and motions of life in the United States.  But small things do still catch me.  I am caught off guard by things like the high cost of buying or renting a movie; or surprised by the commercials during children's programming.  Small things make me happy, too.  I realized that I haven't had fall in years, and my kids have never celebrated Halloween in the states.  This season has been a treat.

But I've got to say that the best surprise has been the library.  We've packed away most of the kids' many books, because they're bringing home 20 new books a week from the library.  This saves us so much money!  I loved the library all summer, just because of the juvenile section - which, by the way, makes up half of our local branch library.  But then I finished the books sitting on my bedside table, and began seeking reading materials for myself.  Goodness sakes - this place is a goldmine!

I gave up libraries while in high school.  I read slowly, and didn't actually keep up with my assigned reading.  So when I checked out books from the library, I inevitably kept them longer than allowed and racked up quite a pile of fines.  So many, in fact, that they asked me not to borrow anymore books from their library.  So I didn't.

College went the same way - so much assigned reading that very few novels entered the mix.

After college, I found bookstores.  Those were fun, because they had coffee shops and stayed open late and you could spend loads of money and feel good about yourself.  Dave has said that books are his favorite decoration, and we dreamed of a house with bookshelves lining the walls.  We bought a lot of books, and that was fun.

Then we lived in China, and took whatever we could get.  I'd ask visitors to leave behind their books.  I'd trade with friends.  I'd stock up at Christmas.  I'd frequent the used book shelves at the community center.

And then we came to the states, and I found the library.  At first, it was just kinda neat.  I could grab a book for free and always have something to read.  Then I discovered the "Hold" function.  I can log onto my library's website and tell the computer what books I heard about on the radio, or had recommended to me by friends.  Magic fairies search for said book, find it, bring it to my library, and leave it neatly behind the desk with my name written on a piece of white paper.  Screw my Amazon Wish List - this is so much better!

In just under a year and a half, I will go back to stocking up and borrowing books.  Until then, I'm loving my local library.

A Cheerful Giver

Lilly has been missing some money for the last few weeks - I made change; she helped manage a lemonade stand; the tooth fairy visited twice.  In cleaning up this afternoon, I got all of her money into her piggy bank.  She noticed when she walked by.


Wow!  There's a lot of money in my piggy bank!  I'd better give some to the church next week!

What a good kid.

Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood

The landlord may suck, and the rent may be far too high, but we have otherwise landed quite well.  Accepting that we do not live in our dream house, the girls and I have decided that we do live in a dream neighborhood.

The folks on the right have a tremendous magnolia tree - not only loaded with flowers and gorgeous leaves, but also laden with strong branches and easy to climb.  The owners of the tree have no children, but welcome all of the neighborhood kids climbing and building in their tree.  Lilly has helped him with yard work, and names him as one of her friends.

The folks on the left have three kids, two of whom spend more time outside than in.  They play on pogo sticks, bikes, wagons, scooters and more, and they've done much of the construction in the magnolia tree.

Across the street is a family with two young kids and one teenagers.  We hoped that the teenager would want to mow our lawn, but we're beginning to realize that kids don't mow lawns in Arlington.  Hispanics mow lawns in Arlington.  Hispanics and Dave.  But their younger kids spend a lot of time on our side of the street, and in the tree.

The best, though, lives two doors down.  That address holds another Foreign Service Family.  Betty and Emmy just arrived from Burma, and they're new kids in their classes this year, too.  Emmy is another 1st grader, and she and Lilly quickly became fast friends.

Amazingly, each family sends their kids to a different school, which adds an interesting dynamic to the street as well.  But they all play together, and they all play outside.  Its an idyllic neighborhood, where I can send out my kids after school and expect to hear the front door slam behind their again at about dinnertime.  I believe that the next door neighbors call their kids in with a dinnerbell.

Lilly says she's the only kid in her class lucky enough to have friends living right next door, and right next door again.  Lilly has changed schools and houses at least once a year for most of her life - if anyone knows how lucky we are, its her.

Game Changer

The upshot of The Morning Race is that it keeps me awake.  Bolting about from one stop to the next, always arriving just a few minutes late, running those last few steps to lessen the impact keeps me from falling asleep on any of those long drives.  Its go! go! go! until Sophia sits in the backseat of the car telling me about her morning.  Then I should face a peaceful afternoon - pleasant conversation on the way home, simple lunch, and then a nap.

Anyone who has visited me over the last 5 years will be quite familiar with Quiet Time.  Quiet Time has taken place in our house at exactly 2:00pm for years.  The girls go to separate rooms and make no noise.  I have some peace and quiet - a chance to think, to prepare dinner, or to grab a quick nap.  An hour or two of much needed Quiet.

This habit is so engrained in me that even on vacations without my children, I still myself growing drowsy at 2:15.

Little Annika is the Game Changer.

During all of those frisky morning drives, she dozes.  When we get home, she feels perky.  She remains perky until around 3:00 - only 20 minutes before we need to leave the house again to pick up Lilly.  We're struggling through getting her enough sleep right now.  So far, we have provided her a teenager approach, which includes very short naps during the week and a nice, long nap on the weekend.  This seems rather unhealthy, so we're still tweaking it.

But the real problem is the disappearance of Quiet Time.  I haven't paid my bills in weeks!  I barely manage to clean the dishes before I need them again.  I shouldn't really be napping anymore!

I'm beginning to miss having an ayi.

Enjoying America: Visiting a Farm

We went berry picking this weekend.  After a week of torrential rain, the sky went blue and the breeze went cool and we spent an amazing morning at a local farm.  

Little Annika - only 16 months old - needed no instructions on berry picking.  We set her walking through the rows of raspberry bushes, and she headed straight toward the bright red fruit.  Picked it, ate it, and kept herself quite happy.

The girls did eventually tire of picking berries, and spent the rest of their morning running around the fields and then exploring the market at the front of the farm.  We left with our car full of tired little girls and very fresh produce, and have spent the last two days putting all of those fruits and vegetables into storage.

We saved bags of frozen green beans, ready to steam or throw into a soup.  We saved bags of frozen peaches, measured for dropping into cobblers and pies.  We saved bags of frozen raspberries, measured for making crisp.

And we are in the process of saving a big box full of canning tomatoes.  We are freezing homemade pizza sauce, homemade pasta sauce and homemade salsa.  Although with all of the good smells going in our kitchen, its tough to lock the food away so quickly!

Still on the to do list - make the bushel of apples into applesauce, and make the fresh cream into vanilla ice cream.  We already made the peach ice-cream.  Fresh cream and fresh peaches - amazing!  We already did the math - we've more than gotten our money's worth out of our trip (especially appreciated during these tight budget days).  And it'll all taste so good!  We're sold on the local farm, and plan to become seasonal visitors.

Enjoying America: Labor Day

It was a week ago now, but we did enjoy a typical American Labor Day.  Everyone in the family slept late.  We had friends over to BBQ for lunch.  We attended another BBQ for dinner.  And then we nervously went to bed for the first day of school.

At the beginning of the day on Labor Day, Lilly asked me why we don't usually celebrate Labor Day.  At first, I interpreted the question incorrectly.  I began thinking about celebrations, and how two barbeques didn't seem to constitute much of one.  I began to compare to fireworks and gifts and decorations and such.

And then I realized the simple root of her question.


Lilly, we have never celebrated Labor Day before because it is not a holiday in China.  As far as my girls can remember, this was their first Labor Day.  And yes, it was very happy.

Deluge

Rather impressively, those natural disasters just keep coming.  We had the earthquake, the hurricane, and the camping disaster about two weeks ago.  This week, we have experienced a deluge of rain, and another deluge of ants.  I like rain, but I must say that neither has been particularly pleasant.

The rain began on Labor Day afternoon.  Actually, I must give Mother Nature some credit for being polite.  She did allow us most of our Labor Day weekend - we ate outside for nearly every meal, and the Monday night was the only one where we got wet.  And now this Friday afternoon, the sun has begun to shine in time for the weekend.

So, the rain began on Monday afternoon, and did not quit until sometime after lunch today.  No joke - it did not quit at all.  Sometimes it would rain less and sometimes it would rain more, but it did not ever stop raining this entire week.  We live on top of a hill, and so we have seen no flooding, but our front yard is a spongy mess and plenty of places in the area have.  Rivers have crested and overflowed their banks all around us.  So many roads became impassable that many area schools were canceled for the day.

The rain makes the house a bit smelly.  It makes my hair a bit crazy.  And it really makes me wish for a garage - I've gotten soaked plenty of times, trying to carry a baby and a bag of groceries from the car to the front door.

But the ants are what really drive me crazy.  They seem to have begun around the same time, and brought progressively more friends each day.  The first few days, I killed all of them that I saw, laid chili sauce at their front door, and saw no more for the rest of the day.  Today I woke up to a flood of them. 

These pictures show steady streams of ants, but they fail to convey the itchy feeling that comes from finding them everywhere - crawling out of the stove burners, showing up on the side of your drinking glass, walking over the baby's plate, climbing up my leg.  Ick!  I've invested in some ant hotels, but these ants don't seem interested.  They've taken over the kitchen and laid siege on the dining room.  We've retreated to the family room, and the coming sunshine may allow us to lay claim to the back deck for our meals.  Hopefully, the ant hotels will prove to be the final weapon - and we can return as weary refugees to our ant-ridden kitchen.

The Race

I hate to admit it, but I was looking forward to school starting this year.  I was looking forward to joining a routine again, and having some time to myself.  How quickly I forget what the school year actually looks like.  This morning, we began the race which will continue until next June.

Lilly and Sophia both start school at 9:00am.  Their schools are 20 minutes apart.

Sophia finishes school at noon.

Within this small window, I try to fit in an hour and a half at the gym and an errand of some sort.  This morning, the errand was running home to take a quick shower.

Annika fell asleep on the way home from school - a good 15 minute nap.  She's supposed to take a 2 hour nap in the afternoon, which I've only just put her down for now - at 2:45.  But I need to get her up again by 3:15 so that we can walk over to Lilly's school for afternoon pick-up.  And today, that walk will be in the rain.

I'm not particularly downtrodden about the day - the girls seem happy enough, so I'm happy enough.  Well, poor Annika is not very happy, stuck up in her crib even though she's not tired.  But I am becoming fully aware that this school year will bring me little, if any, time to myself.

What a Week!

Our Midwestern month has come to an end, and we are back in the unseasonably cool weather of the East Coast.  It was a wonderful month, full of time with family and friends.  But the last week stands out with 3 rather jarring events.

Yes, Dave felt the earthquake.

The girls and I were still in Chicago, when we received a call from the United States government.  Dave called from his office phone to tell us he was alright, before we even realized what had happened.  Apparently the first few seconds were scary - when the State Department begins shaking, the first thought is a bomb rather than an earthquake.  Looking out the window, he said he could see a retaining wall moving like waves on the ocean - after that, everyone calmed down and enjoyed the ride.  The pictures on our walls were crooked when I got home, but no other damage.

We just missed Hurricane Irene.

We missed it by a few hours.  We left Chicago on Saturday morning, camped outside Cleveland on Saturday night, and drove the rest of the way on Sunday.  Apparently power went out throughout most of Northern Virginia around 9pm on Saturday night and was restored to our area by Sunday morning.  When we drove through on Sunday afternoon, we had to search to find evidence of the storm.  Our house fared just fine - even the beachball and inflatable pool we had left in the backyard.

But we did succumb to a nasty stomach bug.  While camping.

It was ugly.  I started feeling queasy before dinner.  I limited myself to chicken soup and bread, but still felt queasy after dinner.  I chalked it up to the junk food we'd been eating for the last few days.  By 10:00 or so, I could no longer blame the food.  And by midnight, I had lost most of the contents of my body.  The nearest bathroom was a 5 minute walk away from our beautifully isolated campsite - and didn't flush.

It hit Lilly around 1:30am, before it even woke her up - leaving a disgusting mess all over her sleeping bag, the tent, and her hair.  Poor child.  She stood shaking in the chilly night air, nightshirt peeled off, while I tried to rinse her hair from a water bottle. 

By 3:00am we had cleaned up, broken down the tent, and moved to a nearby hotel.  Dave held it together until the girls were snug in bed, and then it hit him.  He and Lilly were up every hour or so for the rest of the night.

He seems to have recovered by Sunday evening.  Lilly still has very little energy, and I'm also a bit off.  Luckily, Sophia missed it entirely.

But it has rather put me off of camping for a while.

The World's Most Dangerous Cities

So, I was feeling all bad about myself because we're going to Caracas, Venezuela, with the reputation of being the most dangerous city in the world.  Then I started to think, well, I lived in St. Louis - right there in the ghetto of St. Louis.  And I kinda liked it, so...  Then I'd back up and say, of course, St. Louis is no Caracas.

Well, take a look at this...

Google this phrase:  "most dangerous cities in the world 2011" and you'll find a surprising number of top ten lists.  Go to the first one - http://UrbanTitan.com/10-most-dangerous-cities-in-the-world-in-2011/

Here's a quick summary of their top ten list:

10 - Muzafarrabad, Kashmir, Pakistan
9 - Santo Domingo, Dominican Republic
8 - Grozny, Chechnya, Russia
7 - Port Moresby, Papua New Guinea
6 - Caracas, Venezuela (not even in the top 5!)
5 - Mogadishu, Somalia
4 - Port-au-Prince, Haiti
3 - St. Louis, Missouri
Wait, did you see that?

Here's some of the details that the Urban Titans provide:

According to a latest study analyzing cities based on their FBI statistics for murder, rape, robbery, and assault, St. Louis top the list of the most dangerous city in America, beating Camden, Detroit and New Orleans, last year’s most dangerous cities. After first being pronaunced ‘America’s Most Dangerous City’ in 2006 and coming in second place in 2009, St. Louis has once again reached the top. St. Louis had 2,070.1 violent crimes per 100,000 residents, compared with a national average of 429.4.

Other lists name Detroit instead of St. Louis, but Caracas makes the list every time.  In fact, according to some blogger named laikepo, Caracas is the most dangerous city in the world.  Laikepo sourced Nacho Celebrity for this data, and Nacho Celebrity didn't provide a source, but sounds pretty credible, at least by his moniker.

MostDangerousCities.org says that "Caracas has one of the highest murder per capita rates in the world (between 130-160 per 100,000)".  I was going to compare that to St. Louis' 2,070 violent crimes per 100,000, but its kind of apples to oranges, isn't it?

Anyway, the message to take away from this is that living in Caracas may compare well to living in the worst parts of St. Louis.  And as that's where we choose to live, when actually given the choice, I don't think we have much room to complain.

And don't you love how I have access to all of the data in the State Department's library on living conditions in Caracas, Venezuela and instead I quote a top ten list on Nacho Celebrity's blog?